• Member Since 6th Mar, 2013
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Digital Ink

Comments ( 187 )

My first reaction to Storm rider being called storm... *flashes back a couple of minutes ago* OMG it's Silver Storm from FO:E Heroes!! Yeeee! *reads that her name is Storm rider, and not Silver Storm* shit!

And yes... I was to excited to read the description... I'm stupid like that

Oh goody a update. She died and came back to life so far so good. :yay:

3251618 Fixed, deleted the flash-forward.

well it looks as if she lost the bounty, good chapter again :yay:

3251819 Thanks! I really love getting comments about people saying they like my stuff, it really motivates me to write more =P

Well at least she didn't die

3352515 I noticed you commented the same on both the new Old Grudges chapter and the newest Long Winter chapter O.o Anyway, I hope you are still enjoying the story!

liking the story so far, though wehn i first heard her name i thought she was a pegsus, slightly disappointing that she isn't but i look forward to future chapters

3353286 Heh, originally she was a pegasus but I later changed her to an earth pony because of it just being a bit easier to write for in my opinion. Kept the name though, it just seemed to stick well. Anyway, thank you for reading, favoriting, and commenting! I am really glad you are enjoying it =3

Well the filly isn't go is she? Good chapter again :yay:

Moar! If you don't mind of course.

3489136 Yay! I love new readers! Chapter 7 is already started, so there will be more to come =3 Honestly I didn't know how people would react to the terminal logs, but I'm glad people still like this :twilightsmile:

She is Project Harmony? The filly created during the war to control the Elements and couldn't? I thought they killed her. Good chapter :yay:

Ah, good ol spaceball references

I have a feeling that the AI is going to get annoying fast for her, good chapter again :twilightsmile:

Another Baltimare FOE sidefic? I must get back on track with my work!

3599681 While it does say in that area, the story is only going to be IN Baltimare for maybe one string of chapters =3 Idk, i haven't decided yet. Anyway, thanks for favoriting it and giving this story that last push to 20!


I gotcha and not a problem. I myself have a pretty clear layout of FOE Baltimare built up in my head but, certainly given the time frame differences factions and sceneries could change/have changed. If you want some ideas I'm happy to share.

this is awesome I had the suspicion that she is Harmony :pinkiehappy:

why does it feel like this story is more horror orientated

anyay, looking forward to more, impatiently

3741517 Because it somewhat is :moustache: As for more, don't worry. gamma and I are working hard to finish three more chapters, two of which are in queue to be edited by our new editor. Hopefully they will be out soon :twilightsheepish:

ever since you revealed storms hidden history, ive been wondering what if any special perks will surface, want to see how she would react to suddenly growing wings or a horn X3

3747835 *turns into River Song from Doctor Who* Spoilers~ :raritywink:

The story is great.
I found a few typos.

Aside from the annoying comment, he’s got me pegged. “The not running part had crossed my mind.” I looked away, not happy that he was just waiting for me to ask. I hate being toyed with, and I won’t give him the satisfaction of me asking. “You’re flanks? Not so much.”
Darn it. Your instead of You're.

“Stim Pack, get over her NOW.” I shouted, not even noticing that the old, grey bearded pony had been face down on his desk when I entered. He didn’t budge as I waited for a response, instead letting out a soft snoring. I picked out one of the mostly empty bottles of alcohol on his desk and bit down on the neck, swinging it down hard and shattering it.
First, you lost an 'e'. You mean here.
Second, snoring is an action, snore is the sound you make while snoring.

I could hear him grumble as he gathered up his tools from amongst the clutter of the other room, finally joining us in the back after a minute. Both Short Staff and the Pegasus had been placed on the two surgical tables in the room, and we stood idly by as Doc Stim Pack came in and gave them a quick look over. He turned back to us with a sigh.
There's no reason to capitalize Pegasus in the sentence.

3755788 *nods* I'm aware there are a few typos here and there :raritywink: my editor is taking a look at the chapters and updated versions should be out soon. I'm glad you like the story! :pinkiehappy:

Well at least she didn't die, good chapter :twilightsmile:

Huh, I might have to give this one another try when I have more focus on the context of what's all happening. My first impression of it is mixed, but my tastes kinda lean skew to typical FoE stuff to begin with.

My candid response:
[2014-01-20 11:20:30] * Retl tries new FoE fic. First 10 minutes have attempted rape and lotsa violence. Reconsiders choice.
[2014-01-20 11:39:20] <Devl> So that fic that gave me a weird first impression got really good by chapter 3... And I got my mp3 player in the wrong order and put 3 before 2.

Thusfar, Mister Guy With The Minigun is the most amusing character to show up. He makes me laugh in the same way that Xellos of Slayers did. Kinda playing a trickster card. Aaaand I like laughing.

Yay, flashing holofilly! I like holography thingies in fiction. And glowy thingies. And fillies. So uh. Yay!

She has a light grey coat and pretty emerald eyes, which I know for a fact has something to do with Ms. Applejack’s DNA, but it is still unclear how Harmony ended up with her grey coat.

Well, that covers coat and eyes Nothing on tail, flank, or mane, but I suppose I'll assume it's the same shade of grey until prove otherwise. And I'm also just gonna assume the holofilly is also Harmony because raisins. I mean. Reasons. Because reasons.

Though, if the minotaur joins up, I might not need anypony else’s help anyway.
My display changed to grey as the AI yawned. “Oh he runs on spark batteries[...]”
“Fuck it, why not.” With as bad as this night’s been, I really need all the help I can get

At least, it's amusing in a way when I imagine a she has an itch to scratch and wants a powered cybercompanion specifically to do the honors. Or. Giant group four way itch-scratching fest. Or something.

Also, with the addition of a holofilly partypony and a nonchalant guy who's name I can remember with a gigantic gun means there's now a team! A colorful team of characters that continue to be more interesting than Cloud Grinder. Or. Something. Though I guess the harmony idea itself is kinda neat too, but that's what she may or may not have been, not what she is.

Anywho, bonus amusement points what with the mindscrewery memorytrick on protagabooty and points for confetti! Yay!

3831527 Did you even read it? It's been up for only five minutes...

3834520 Yeah, but I don't think people can gread 1k words per minute...

I was listening to the intro to this chapter during lunch. I had a goofy grin on my face the whole time.

Overall, this chapter seems a bit whimsical kinds of silly, and that amused me. Seems like the whole town might be pervs. Or not. Either way. Yay, new-ish town!

Feel almost like a rest chapter though, so whatever's immediately about to happen next is probably going to suck if the trends from Project Horizons, Heroes, and New Pegas hold consistant in sidefics. Not sure I've read a FoE sidefic where a rest chapter concluded peacefully and then went back into another arc of building up to the next conflict and resolution hump. Or. something. I dunno. I don't typically analyze things to that degree anyway.

"Besides, you’ve not had a real rest since before we met."
This particular quote sounds weird when spoken aloud. Typically, I don't like to nitpick or criticize character quotes a lot, because often anything oddity in something spoken by a character can simply be attributed to the speaking character. But in this scenario in particular, I have to wonder if he was following/analyzing What'sherface before she actually met him, if he can read her mind or is viewing her memories to get a grasp of her prior experiences, or if he just has a funny way of speaking. Like, if I were in his scenario I'd say something more akin to "I've never seen you get a good rest since we met." In that scenario the quote limits the claim exclusively to what [the speaker] has A: witnessed B: Since meeting. Which would exclude witnessed sleep before meeting, or rest that had simply gone unnoticed.
Yay, party hat!

“I believe the score is Predious one, Storm zero.” He looked to me with a smirk. This might sound wrong but I hate unicorns and their cheater magic. I tried standing up to aim again, but only found myself dropping back into cover just as I pulled my sights up. If only I could get a few more seconds…
My display changed to pink as Pai popped up. “It looks like you are trying to fight more efficiently. Would you like some assistance?”

That is, I laughed. Well, more like chuckled, but I was amused either way.

Hehe, not bad. Storm is not a mare to be messed with.

Yet another good chapter. The short length makes it very easy to read.

Lotsa lotsa things in this one that I liked~<3 If I get more time, I might come back and ramble a bit more about which things in particular I liked. But glowing shiny magical technological robot and hologrammy mindscrewy whatnots are usually a recipe for fun, and I was not disappointed. Also, yay friendship!

“Pred, this is going to sound odd, but what do you think makes a good friend?”

EXCELLENT question, because I sure as heck don't have a perfect answer.

Comment posted by RevelRomp deleted Apr 22nd, 2014

Iron Will died :fluttercry:, also I am glad that Storm survived and that she got her leg back :twilightsmile:. Also those Steel Rangers got exactly what they deserved, but I wonder what happened to Tasteless that made her become a cyberpony. Anyways good chapter again :yay:

I haven't finished reading this chapter, but I think I noticed a small missing particle error?
"to lie you" Missing 'to' between Lie and You.

does enyone have the urge to give a hug to that ghost foal:fluttercry:

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