looks good so far

My first reaction to Storm rider being called storm... *flashes back a couple of minutes ago* OMG it's Silver Storm from FO:E Heroes!! Yeeee! *reads that her name is Storm rider, and not Silver Storm* shit!

Ah loikes it!

Huh, I might have to give this one another try when I have more focus on the context of what's all happening. My first impression of it is mixed, but my tastes kinda lean skew to typical FoE stuff to begin with.

My candid response:
[2014-01-20 11:20:30] * Retl tries new FoE fic. First 10 minutes have attempted rape and lotsa violence. Reconsiders choice.
[...]
[2014-01-20 11:39:20] <Devl> So that fic that gave me a weird first impression got really good by chapter 3... And I got my mp3 player in the wrong order and put 3 before 2.

Hehe, not bad. Storm is not a mare to be messed with.

So, this isn't something completely targeted at you, because I see it alot in the stories I read, but there are so many opening chapters with pseudo-gritty altercations in public areas and I find them a tad odd. In a society where individuals are largely responsible in some way for their own self-defense and anypony could be packing deadly weapons or have friends around the corner, I can't imagine anypony starting trouble in those kinds of circumstances, unless they had some kind of trick up their sleeve. I always imagined the toughest places being like a powder keg: There are so many powerful forces in the area that one spark could blow up the entire town, so nopony lets anypony else start trouble. I get that everybody wants to be able to show that their protagonist is top cat in the alley, but everybody does it and it just blows my mind. Part of this might just be that I read chapter 1 of Gamma Deekays "Better Days" where the protagonist shoots some guy in the street for whatever reason, I don't remember, he looked at her funny or something, and nobody else reacted to the situation. The stories are just a little bit similar, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing.

Overall, it was a decent chapter, I may read more just to see how things go.