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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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2 words.
Gary Stu.
I have no idea what that means.
2876497
It means a character that is to perfect.
I'm guilty of it in my first story, but this doesn't look as bad as mine, which happenedot to be a self insert. These types of stories aren't to popular around here I've learned. Just adjusting the character a bit now or later on would fix it a bit. Its ok to me.
2876540
My OC was a Self Insert, I changed that, though.
This....this interests me. MOAR also could you send me a link to Angel Blood if possible?
As I said, it's a manga that my friend made. I'm going on his beta version. The MC's name was changed from Neon, to Sariph, or however you spell it. And Shaow isn't meant to be perfect, you'll see his flaws soon.
...seems a tad rushed and your OC is OP. :U
2876804 The reply button is your friend. See the little speech bubble icon at the top right of each comment? Click that on whichever comment you want to reply to, and they'll receive a notification when your comment is posted.
2878272
I did click it, but I was using the Wii when I did that comment.
I like this and following, but make him out to be op and this'll get many down votes. Honestly seeing so many on hie fics with no explanation annoys me to no end...
Sorry everypony, but you'll get his story in the next chapter. Also, what is OP?
MOAR!! this is so good! really liking the nightmare moon twist and that he is so protective agianst the mane 6 and celestia and luna
2897627
Thank you, good to know somepony likes that twist. I'll admit that I'm not the best when it comes to story writing, but I'll be bucked if I don't know how to make a good setting!
OP stands for Over Powered. it is usually used for characters in games that are just super powerful/difficult or seems to cheated/perfect. Anyway good story can't wait for more.
2910516
I thought that's what it was. Well, there's a reason for that, you'll see in the next chapter.
2912099 meh i don't care if a character is op in a story as long as it is explained or the story is really good. so all i can say is....MOAR
Yeah... I'd hate to be bandwagoning, but your OC needs to get nerfed.
images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20121109115408/mlp-fim-fan-series/images/4/4d/A_Lord_Anders_smilling.png
I'll give you a few tips:
1). Don't use CAPSLOCK; that's what exclamation points are for.
2). Don't use youtube links in your story; we're here to read, not watch and listen.
3). You're overview needs to be rewritten. It's not a blog post. You're supposed to be giving an overview of your story: something you've almost forgotten to do. From the description, I can't even tell that this story belongs on fimfiction because doesn't mention how MLP is involved.
4). You have six genre tags, which is far too many. You want to give the reader the main gist of your story as clearly as possible, and less tags means less confusion.
5).
Don't apologize for your story. A few reputable authors here can and do occasionally, but you are not one of them. It gives the would-be reader the impression that even the author thinks the story sucks. Don't say "no negative criticism", because you're practically asking for it then.
Your word choices aren't very good, you should look over them a few times
don't listen to him its just fin
MOREEEEEEE
3149096
hey when do you think you will have part 4 done?
3473724
Working on it, but trying to work out one scene. I think you'll like it if you stayed with me this long.
3473886 no problem i like your stories im working on something if you want to see it give me your email
Ha ha ha no.
2876544 No you didn't.
And suddenly the house exploded.
the clop was awesome.
the word hear is supposed to be feel (you messed this up a few times)
great story so far sad too
good story im glad i stayed this long (is there a part 5 i smell)
3481774
That's just how the lyrics were, I didn't write it. But thanks for the like.
Tsk damn those injuries!
REACTION TO CLOP
before: this could get interesting
After: O_O DAYUM NMM is a freak in bed!!!
myfacewhen.net/uploads/3667-damn.jpg
3962231
I wanted to make her seem kinky, but only because it's Shadow. I'm glad somepony gave my something on that, I was worried I done screwed up.
3968175 Well let's just say you get a pat on the back, but for God's sake please tell me it ain't gonna happen to the other characters.
3972618
SWEET LUNA, NO!!!! Whether you mean in this story or the other stories my answer is still the same. Which is, 'Fuck you! I aiiiiiiiiiiiin't having that shit!'
3975079 Oh thank God
cdn1.goodmeme.net/store/user_photos/0/17/3069_praise_the_lord.._700.jpg
Just a quick reminder, Chapter 2 has been edited and I'd like to hear your thoughts on the fight.
I'm gonna give this story a shot lets see where it takes me.
I hope they won't stay with Shadow.
I remember this one read so far until i got to the part where it turned out that he was not a human.
4706260
Yeah, the human tag is for Shadow's pack, but some use the tag even though the character isn't human anyway. At least I did put humans in.
Question: Update?
5685083
Answer: when I get a godd*mn laptop. Making chapters on an iPhone that keeps refreshing the f*cking page and erasing my work has killed my motivation. Sorry about not updating my stories, but the instant I get a laptop, chapters are gonna be popping out like rabbits.
5706105
That's some weird imagery right there.
When is the next update gonna come out?
6103358
I know I said I was gonna update, but read my post on Your human and you: a stroke of death and you'll see why I haven't. Plus I've got overnight shifts now and with how the sleep afterwards just kills most of the day and you can see how little motivation I have. But I do intend to keep going on these stories, it's just getting motivated enough.
Ah, so that's why...Thanks for responding!
PLEASE UPDATE THIS STORY!! I LOVE EVERY BIT OF IT
6344496
I'm in the process of writing more chapters for each of my stories, just be a bit more patient. I'll only update when I have at least two chapters for each story though so I can give you a little something extra for the long wait.