Wolf-bloodmoon
Joined 5th Mar, 2014 ·
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Mass resistance to magic and bad area reflexes. Would be good for him to have as well as have him try to escape from the to the forest and have them hunt him down for assaulting nightmare after he woke up and several guards.
Good, but I have a few complaints:
1. This is almost an unreadable textwall
2. you need to spell check this, you are mostly good on spelling, but in the first, I hesitate to say "paragraph", alone there are several spelling mistakes that are more misused words than anything else
3. and finally the sentence structure is a bit choppy and could use some stream lining
However, I won't thumbs down this story because the story is good so far and I'd like to see where it goes, just get a beta reader to proof read it and all set.
story is good but plzzz plzzz proof read it before you post it
Thanks for the tip I have re-read and made the changes I needed to.
I love metro, there aren't enough crossovers with it.
My favourite game and book, mixed with mlp.
I'm tearing up
When ever I see fanfics about people from the metro I can only think of this song
My only complaint is punctuation and grammar.Other than that,I'm glued to the screen.
4603329 Thank You next chapter should be done by tonight
I read the "bloody moments and some sex." Bit as "bloody sex" and was like O.O oh god no XD
No as in the main character rips things apart when he is scared or is very pissed like in chapter 2
Mission: Nit Picking,
1. ERR MEH GUURD WALL OF TEXT!!!!
2. the end of this chapter felt very rushed.
3. few grammatical errors here and there.
Mission Status:Nit Picking complete.
From what I've seen, you have a number of run-on sentences that do greatly to detract from the story. We understand fluidity, but the run-on is just too much of it. So much that it cause us to just glide though the story.
I see an erro the ak74 fire in the 5.45
Thank you for that.
Don't you mean FUCK MY LIFE SEROUSLY IT'S LIKE BOOT CAMP ALL OVER AGAIN
Anyone have the sudden urge to off the Rainbow bitch like this comment
please dont be dead
5141295 I am not dead just school and sports have been kicking my flank
so basically he is killer croc that is armed to the teeth? badassery detected.
:D
More update plz?
Now the waiting starts
6137111 indeed
I have played the game METRO, it takes place in Russia Moscow in the METRO of Moscow. I know that, because i have played the game on the Xbox 360.
img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20140423034814/roblox-apocalypse-rising/images/thumb/2/2a/Anchorman-well-that-escalated-quickly.jpg/500px-Anchorman-well-that-escalated-quickly.jpg
You know Wolverine; we'ze cousins
Another military brony. Swag! I respect you sir or ma'am. Im joining up for the marines in 1 year after im done with school
very cool. by the way, it's spelled R-E-N-D-E-Z-V-O-U-S. rendezvous. (French) minor
quibble for an otherwise entertaining tale.
I wish for more
when will the next chapter be out?
Please update
I would suggest getting your pics from a safer website, it almost gave my computer a virus.
More
Really needs some editors! Great concept destroyed by terrible grammar. I love metro more than most and there are too few stories with a metro crossover, however I just can’t read this one. The run on sentences are numerous and punctuation is severely lacking. I like the idea, I really do, but this needs some serious TLC.
When's the update coming up