I'll give you a few tips: 1). Don't use CAPSLOCK; that's what exclamation points are for. 2). Don't use youtube links in your story; we're here to read, not watch and listen. 3). You're overview needs to be rewritten. It's not a blog post. You're supposed to be giving an overview of your story: something you've almost forgotten to do. From the description, I can't even tell that this story belongs on fimfiction because doesn't mention how MLP is involved. 4). You have six genre tags, which is far too many. You want to give the reader the main gist of your story as clearly as possible, and less tags means less confusion. 5).
If I offend anypony, I'm sorry, but I'm writing this story, so if you don't like, don't read or comment, only constructive criticism please.
Don't apologize for your story. A few reputable authors here can and do occasionally, but you are not one of them. It gives the would-be reader the impression that even the author thinks the story sucks. Don't say "no negative criticism", because you're practically asking for it then.
Yeah... I'd hate to be bandwagoning, but your OC needs to get nerfed.
images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20121109115408/mlp-fim-fan-series/images/4/4d/A_Lord_Anders_smilling.png
I'll give you a few tips:
1). Don't use CAPSLOCK; that's what exclamation points are for.
2). Don't use youtube links in your story; we're here to read, not watch and listen.
3). You're overview needs to be rewritten. It's not a blog post. You're supposed to be giving an overview of your story: something you've almost forgotten to do. From the description, I can't even tell that this story belongs on fimfiction because doesn't mention how MLP is involved.
4). You have six genre tags, which is far too many. You want to give the reader the main gist of your story as clearly as possible, and less tags means less confusion.
5).
Don't apologize for your story. A few reputable authors here can and do occasionally, but you are not one of them. It gives the would-be reader the impression that even the author thinks the story sucks. Don't say "no negative criticism", because you're practically asking for it then.
don't listen to him its just fin
MOREEEEEEE
3149096
hey when do you think you will have part 4 done?
3473724
Working on it, but trying to work out one scene. I think you'll like it if you stayed with me this long.
3473886 no problem i like your stories im working on something if you want to see it give me your email
Tsk damn those injuries!