Razgriz0x
Joined 6th Nov, 2012 ·
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Update soon for this be good
Yes update soon. Don't care if Gary Stu. This. Is. AWESOME!!!!!!!
love it
It is a really good thing that you gave us a picture, because the little bit of description does not point it towards be an anthro.
On that note, in the next chapter you should give a proper description of the ponies.
Also, can the ponies still have hooves, like in this picture? That looks much more better for anthro ponies then human feet.
Anyway, this seems like a real interesting story. But tread lightly. Your characters is very close to being considered a Gary-Stu.
Speaking of him, he is still human right?
Looking forward to seeing where this goes.
damn i like this already.
moar!
3160727 Yes, Ponies still have hooves. The picture is for reference only (mainly because it's a great anthro pic and the armor is somewhat realistic).
He's not perfect in every way. He will face challenges and even sometimes be defeated and is by no means a babe magnet. He will go through the same hardships faced in reality when it comes to dating and love... and I couldn't write a clop scene to save my life. 
and descriptions will abound... but not bore.
Yes my character is human.... but he will not be Gary-Stu.
Thanks for the feedback. I do appreciate it and please keep it coming. Also, as a pilot chapter... the next chapter will be fairly long (10,000+ words)
Thanks and Enjoy
At first I thought this was a Singularity crossover, but no 'twas even better. Also quick suggestion. I would recommend you slow down the events. We got thrown into a character who was killed in an accident, then he talks to death, gets cool powers, thrown into Equestria, finds Nightmare Moon (doesn't decide to take note of how she's anthro), proceeds to talk to her, Nightmare suddenly trusts him, And becomes very menacing towards Twilight. All of this in ONE chapter. I feel like you could have fleshed out the character by giving us A NAME (why is there no name to him) gave us backstory to his life and his family!!!! You could have easily made this one chapter into 2 or 3 chapters. I know this is probably one of your first stories, so I'll let it slide for now. BUT! Please... PLEASE take your time with this and flesh out the story. Anyway... Great story I love it!. Keep it up!
3160861
Thank you for telling me this.
Ha. Realistic. Maybe for Xena.
Very good to hear all of this. I only brought it up because he gets to retain his powers, abilities, and strength from his past lives, and he will be able to get items from those lives. Easy to see why someone might caution you. But considering everything you just said it is all good.
Speaking of clop, since you brought it up, will you still try, or just mention that it happened, if it happened.
And on that note, I wonder who the romance will be with. I suspect either Luna, or Nightmare, but I could be wrong. For all I know it might even be Celestia, one of the mane six, or even a herd situation. Don't tell me though. I am just thinking out loud here, and I want go be surprised.
You are very welcome, and I will. At least I will try.
A 10k+ word chapter might be next. Definitely excited for that.
Good luck with all of your endeavors.
3160917 To be honest.. I wrote this in about an hour and I just needed to get the idea down before i forgot it. I published this chapter as a pilot to test the waters.
Your feed back is helping me write the next chapter. I know the prologue is rushed... but it will mellow out soon enough. I promise
3161154 Well mine friend you are quite lucky, for the water is quite welcoming this day!!! Go ahead, jump in!!!!
3161154Well so far your story is pretty awesome. And yes, your character (at this point in time) is SUCH a Gary Stu. Ignoring that though, you have a really decent story. It leaves plenty of options open for any way you want to do things. Also love that you're trying to redeem NMM. Favorite pony right there.
How long do you think it'll be before you can update though?
3161468 I'll try for once every other week.
Any way you could change the title of this fic so people don't confuse it for mine of the same name?
Needs more banana nut muffins. That is all.
I almost left but imam stick around for one reason, one simple reason
i.qkme.me/3pzvut.jpg
good taste
It's an interesting idea but.... Edit the titel yoooo. Prologue-Deaths-Proposal.
i'm intrested in where this is going.
i'll fave this for now and pass judgement on it when the next chapter is out.
NEED MOAR!
Hey hey,
quick update, next chapter is about 50% completed, however, it will not be 10k words...
I will reserve the 10k+ chapters for later on when the chapter focus more on my OC... Also name reveal in next chapter
and for those who read the prologue when it first published... It has been edited.. and a few things thrown in to help... I guess I'm saying I polished it up a little. So if you want... reread and enjoy.
Oh, if only Celestia knew how powerfull Razgriz really is.
Alicorn would have been better. But this ain't my story.
Nice chapter, though you need to separate the dialog. There should only be one person speaking per one.
He stole Alduin's name. Wonder if you are going to let Spike catch that?
Hope Moon is able to reclaim her alicorn status.
Looking forward to the next chapter.
LOL pinky teleport powers activate!
Start a new paragraph when someone new is talking.
3208902 well the ability to bend every living thing to your will is something best capt secret.
This story is awesome so far i look forward to the next chapter.
3227176
as do I.
hooray, also mlp fim season 4 is coming nov 23
3161154 better than nothing
3209667 True
3694671 Also He is inherited form badassdery
I quite like this story great work mate I hope to see more soon
This is going to be a lot of fun reading. Like how you saved Nu Moon too.
To readers, Followers and (if any) fans,
I'm sorry. I've kept you from reading this story and updating chapters for too long. I can only say, I'm sorry.
I will not blame life, school or anyone or thing but myself for not continuing this story. I have not felt the want or desire to write further chapters and for those who are waiting and have been waiting, I'm sorry.
Sometime in the future I may pick this back up, but I'm just not up to it right now.
Thank you for your support, but I just can't keep you hanging any longer.
Razgriz0x
PS: I'm looking at re-writing this... I've decided that doing a self-insert is rather overdone and kind of arrogant. I'll probably change it to a crossover story... with what, I'm not sure right now... but the ideas are rolling around and my muse is starting to get interested again.
Until such time as I feel like it, consider this story abandoned. Once again, I'm sorry.
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