Into the Rainbow

by Zauber Junge

Change is never welcome

You lay on your bed at night above the covers, on your phone, scrolling down whatever site you are normally on to pass the time. You yawn, your arms going above your head. You then place your phone down on your bedside table as it was time to get ready to go to bed. You get off your bed and before you move your hands to undress yourself you look at yourself in the mirror. The buzzing of your phone vibrating at getting a new text startles you. Walking over to the phone, you pick it up and look at the text. It's from someone calling themself, "Discord."

CONGRATULATIONS... whoever gets this. You get to become Rainbow Dash!
~Discord

You scoff, putting your phone down, thinking it was just some kind of troll or spammer. For some reason, you walk back to the mirror, but a ringing from the phone makes you turn back. It wasn't your normal ringtone – it hurt your ears! You were about to take a step forward when your phone floated up off the table and then shot blue energy out of its screen. It twisted and twirled before striking you directly in the chest. You stop in place.

After only a few seconds the beam had gone into your chest and your hands press where it had entered. No wounds. You wonder if you were more tired than you thought and were just seeing things.

Suddenly, thoughts of speed, loyalty, pride and mischievousness fill your mind. Speed, going faster than anyone. Yes, that sounds nice.

WAIT, WHAT? No, you hate the feeling of going fast! You always felt like your lunch was going to jump out your mouth and not taste half as good. Still, thoughts of going faster and faster and of the world becoming a blur filled your mind.

Pride… to boast about what you have done in your life.

NO! Being modest is how you were taught to act even when you won! Yet, like speed, all you could think about was telling everyone how you beat your friends at chess or some other thing.

Loyalty… this one was nothing new. Your friends were the only thing that mattered, aside from your grades.

Mischievousness… pulling pranks on your friends. No, that would be rude and make the friendships dissipate slightly. Yet, all you could think about was sneaking into that old lady's house down the road and cooking her a ghost pepper pie, then placing it out on the windowsill to cool like she does, and hopefully she'll take a bite of the pie and get a burning mouth.

These thoughts horrified you... yet, you felt okay with them.

You suddenly feel very competitive and confident, like you could beat anyone at anything, and then you could boast about it for a little while.

NO, NO, NO! You hate sports and hate challenging people to fights or anything of the sort!

Within seconds, you develop a love for racing… to win against all odds, to hear a crowd of people cheer, it seems as though it would give you a burst of adrenaline and sharpen your senses.

Just as this love for racing and your new personality traits manifest, you get a numbing sensation in your fingers and toes. After the numbness spreads all the way down your hands and feet stopping just before the arms or legs a tingling feeling begins in them as the skin on your hands and feet become more elastic, stretching out, connecting your fingers with skin and nerve. The tips of your limbs become hard... like hooves. You have hooves where your hands and feet are supposed to be. You look at yourself in the mirror, tapping them together, hearing the sound of them knocking against each-other and the feeling of them rubbing together. It was a little hard to stand upright, but you could manage.

Suddenly, your legs feel like they are being massaged. You look down and your eyes widen as your pants rip apart from your legs as they turn into a pony’s. Your pants and underwear fall to the floor. Yet, your backside still remained that of a human, as did your head, chest, and arms. It was incredibly hard to stand on your legs, so you fall over and you try to keep your balance with your mostly-human arms. They shook from the odd positioning.

The same feeling is felt in your arms and you see your sleeves rip apart as your arms turn into pony legs. Bones pop and crack, yet you can now stand upright. You look at yourself in the mirror and witness an odd sight – a furless, tailless, maneless pony whose flank did not look like that of a pony's, that also had a human head.

Your rear began to feel odd and when you looked in the mirror you saw that it was expanding, becoming softer and rounder, like a pony’s flank. You shake it once and let out a slight giggle at your actions. Fear then burns your insides… you realize that when this is all done, you won't be you anymore, and also that the changing felt good…

A tear leaks out of your eye as you suddenly feel powerful, strong, and nimble. All words to describe Rainbow Dash, not you… but you'll soon BE Rainbow Dash.

You become ambitious, ready to take the lead in anything, go for the gold, break records, and be the fastest. You also want to gallop – is the term gallop, now? Gallop to your friends help them in any way you can.

A slight shiver is sent down your spine and a small nub forms at the end of your pony rump. A glorious, rainbow tail erupts forth from this nub and you swish it around getting used to the feeling of having a messy rainbow tail to call your own.

After your tail had formed, your shoulder blades tingled and a slight feeling of pain was felt as new cyan wings slowly grew out, flapping up and down as they emerged, ripping the rest of your shirt off. They make a small breeze before falling on your now pony sides.

Your new wings felt powerful, graceful and beautiful all at once. They were something to be proud of as they helped you accomplish amazing feats of glory. It excited you to have these wings.

"My wings," you say, cementing your ownership of them. As you said this, your voice became scratchy, almost strained, and high-pitched.

You felt adventurous – you wanted to go out and see the world and all its wonders. You also felt playful. It’s fun to joke around with friends, is it not?

Your neck became a pony's neck and your hair began to grow and change color into a stunning, messy rainbow mane for you to wear with pride. Your ears shoot up into pony ears, yet no fur covers them. You wiggle them around, getting used to your new hearing. You can hear the people next door having fun, laughing. A cat yells in the distance.

The human head of yours began to feel hot. Your jaw was pulled out to be your new muzzle. The bone stretches and changes. Your teeth flatten and your tongue changes into a pony's. You feel a sudden craving for hay and other plants you'd never thought to eat until this point.

You feel your eyes growing to fit your new pony face. You look in the mirror to see your iris change color, to magenta. Your eyelashes grow long and mare-like. You bat them ever so softly, getting used to them.

A ticking sensation covers your entire body as soft cyan fur forms all on top of your skin.

Lastly, you feel the rest of your biology change into that of a mare’s.

In the mirror, you look into the eyes of Rainbow Dash. Feeling playful, you strike a pose, showing off your new body.

Your memories are replaced with Rainbow Dash's and your cutie mark appears on your flank – a cloud with a rainbow lightning bolt.

A white light flashes and you are whisked away. You sit up in your cloud bed in your cloud home in Equestria, ready to start your day as the awesome Rainbow Dash.

Author's Note:

So that was my first try at this. REAL sorry if it was awful crittcs most welcome. I tried to not tell the reader gender they are as I felt it would have taken out of the feeling of the story. I'm sorry if this was horrific

Comments

[I hate you all]

That was pretty cool, we'll done! :D You should really make the transformation more dramatic though. Sense this is a first person story you really have to put your reader through all the emotions like with every change you gotta go into detail on how you're feeling like when sprouting wings explain each sensation down to each and every feather emerging from skin that didn't seem to belong to you yet each one brought a new sense of pride and joy... See and just like that this story will become 20% cooler :D

[Zauber Junge]

2810148 I see where your coming from. Time to do a gigantic over hall...later My mind is sapped at the moment.

[I hate you all]

2810156 Haha "sapped" good luck with that

[Fourpony]

scrolling down whatever site you are normally on to pass the time.

Goddamn it, looks like I am on Reddit again.

You were about to take a step forward when your phone floated up off the table and then shot blue energy out of its screen. It twisted and twirled before striking you directly in the chest. You stop in place.

This section feels like it could use more elaboration.

Suddenly, thoughts of speed, loyalty, pride and mischievousness fill your mind. Speed, going faster than anyone. Yes, that sounds nice.

This could just be a pet peeve of mine, but do not use "suddenly". It never really feels sudden. Try and use other words, spread out the sentence a bit, you're rushing yourself.

This felt very rushed and forced. Slow down, the reader isn't even able to get the feeling of knowing "themselves" before you make them Rainbow Dash. Also, this fic seems more like Rainbow Dash in Equestria. You just supplanted the main characters personality and memories with Rainbow Dash's. So, unless there is going to be some sort of contention where the human memories and personality begin to resurface, you might as well just write a story about the reader being Rainbow. Or, the reader waking up in the morning remembering a life that isn't real, which would be more like Rainbow Dash in a human body.

Parting words; slow down, think where you want this to go. Have a clear idea where you are steering us, add the details.

[Zauber Junge]

2810187 I'm going to start a rewrite later on today, for now I nap, However Thanks for the critic of this. details have already popped in my head. I just have a hard time putting them onto something.

[Veo Skride]

"CONGRATULATIONS... whoever gets this. You get to become Rainbow Dash!
~Discord"

For reasons I'm not going to explain, this is pretty normal for me.....

[Kawa]

This was actually not half bad. Short and perhaps understated, but not bad.

[Ether Echoes]

Yet another "turning into Rainbow Dash" story?

I swear, one day, I'll wake up and find a creative story premise on Transformations.

[DDRMASTERM]

I'm not a fan of 2nd person stories in general unless they're choose your own adventure story since they assume you'd be thinking a certain way. The fact that this is a 2nd person story is pretty much the only original thing about this story. I won't say that becoming RD wouldn't be awesome, but this has been done a lot and done better elsewhere.

[Fourpony]

2810204
It can be difficult. But try reading through a story that the community here has liked, see what that author has done, and maybe look for what needs shoring up in your story.

[Zauber Junge]

2811863 Thank you so much for the tips! Its really helping the rewrite! I can't thank you and anymore who game me critics.

2810365 Why thank you.

[Fourpony]

2812569
Well, you can start with a "thank you", but I get what you mean. Also, just a quick question, did you type your response on a phone?

[Zauber Junge]

2812604 Yes, Why do you ask?

[Fourpony]

2812612
Reread this sentence, you got autocorrected.

I can't thank you and anymore who game me critics.

Also, for future note, a critic writes critiques of things.

[Zauber Junge]

2812701 CURSE YOU AUTOCORRECT!

[MoonSparkle The Vampony]

im honestly am speechless on this story................

[TGM]

Interesting story...

Not much else I can say about it... it's a pretty common concept, a human turning into Rainbow Dash, buuut still, it wasn't horribly written and it didn't go into this massively horrid storyline that made me hate it. it was just one chapter of: you are now Rainbow Dash. COPE WITH THE CIRCUMSTANCES.

Would've liked to see how or why Discord was turning humans into ponies ((or where he even got a phone for that matter...? Nevermind, he's Discord it wouldn't have made much sense anyways)) and his reaction afterwards, but hey, you did something and it worked for you. I def. liked it

[Mono the Cat]

Sir/Ma'am... I'm content. However, I would like to see more.

[Zauber Junge]

2826767 Oh how I want to do more but I can't think of how.

[ultrasolarflare]

hmm interesting a different look at a pony tf

[Lt Rainbow Slash]

this is gonna sound weird but i would be so happy if this happened to me RD's life is so much better than my s***y life

[Jesse Sudekum]

you should do a sequel to this i like it

[Zauber Junge]

3018477 I am actualy, a Human to Anthro Rarity Fic.

[somerandomness1]

well that was good, very descriptive, and was done just for its own sake. grand I tell you, grand

[Flash_Magnus]

This was really good

[OMEGA9350]

Well, uhm, that ruined my liking for RD, pretty disturbing...

[ferret]

It's not a transformation if you just kill the human and put Rainbow Dash in the same spot he was in.

[Chrome Masquerade]

Jeez. That sort of makes ME want to receive that message! Well, sort of, anyway.

[Espeon_in_the_Morning]

Yes. This story was horrific.

Horrific in the sense of frightening. While it was a bit rushed and I wasn't thrilled with every word choice, the brevity is made up to in spades by the sheer creepiness it invoked in me. Granted, I'm not a huge fan of mind change, but this was really well done. It wasn't the most immersive, but it still read well enough, although it ended up reading more like a 1st person narrative with the word 'you,' but I can't blame you, 2nd person is hard. I would honestly FREAK if I got a text at while reading this story and my phone vibrated (especially cuz it doesn't vibrate), and I feel bad for anyone who was unfortunate enough to get a text during that read.

[Feurisson]

The ending is really a bit harsh, because nothing is there to remind of her past humanity.
But I actually like that you included all the mental parts as well. The description of the physical ones really could've been longer, though, as well as the story as a whole, but I still liked it.

[fuck mcdickbutt]

OH GOD WHY THIS IS SO FUCKED UP IM SCARRED FOR LIFE WHY thumbs up.

[Katamariguy]

Transformation? Yeah.

Mind-wipe? Nay.

[Koi Fish]

I'm not sure if I hate speed, me, first place in track and field. Hell yea. :3

I kind of feel bad for myself since reading this personally made me the main character of the story, but that's not the case. I don't turn back. :( Oh well, sh*t happens. :) Often.

[gottogofast]

Becoming rainbow dash: HELL YEA
Brain wash: NOPE
the only thing I would like about that is the super sonic speed

[Luckyfanisaac]

A white light flashes and you are whisked away. You sit up in your cloud bed in your cloud home in Equestria, ready to start your day as the awesome Rainbow Dash

Didn't like that part. I would prefer if it been like a copy of rainbow dash in a human world.
Liked the slow transformation. I would give a little bit more detail.

[Wiz Ahmad]

Not as dramatic but I loved it! I could almost close my eyes and imagine the whole thing in my head. I r8 8/8

[Whodafuq146]

I wanted to Jump in the story and body slam his ass.

[AvoidingFever17]

Hnnn
I WILL FIGHT IT!