• Member Since 12th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen Mar 12th, 2019

MyLittlePonyTales


E

DISCLAIMER: Random crack-shipping non-serious story.

When Princess Celestia takes Princess Luna to a Wonderbolts show, Luna finds more entertainment then she was looking for...

Chapters (1)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 17 )

Supreme lack of detail. This could be a really good story, if it had any form of detail. You just told an entire in 1800 words...my first chapter was 4000.

You'd be surprised how many "Magical lesbian spawn"stories there are with Luna.

220839 Read this story to find out, that's generally how there made.

220480 "DISCLAIMER: Random crack-shipping non-serious story." It's in the description. The story isn't MEANT to be super fabulous good.

221637 i understand that, but i do expect SOME detail. Why write it to be not good? This had so much potential.

221642 Because it's a crack-ship... Totally nonsensical. :derpytongue2:

222050 instant 5 for successful troll. Take it or leave it. :unsuresweetie:

222175 heh heh that was good i liked it even if it was rushed but that was the point so i have no objections i agree it could be an amazing story if expanded and if i feel like it i might expand it and give it detail if thats all right with you although its very possible that i wont tryen to get into the navy and what not might not have time.

Spitfire...and Luna??? My mind is blown and I haven't even read the story

"Luna didn't get out enough, and hopefully something exciting would peak her interest."
"peak" isn't the word you are looking for... Pique is the one you were going for.

Same paragraph, next sentence: "It was rare that Celestia could get our of Canterlot Castle" ; you used the wrong word again.

"Luna didn't always go to see them after every show, although she well could have." you left out a word.

that's all I can find in here


Nice story by the way. But it could stand some fleshing out. This feels more like a rough draft and a storyline rolled into one than an actual story. (maybe I could help you there?(as in we colab it?(please?:fluttershysad:))) Just like Criticul said, it could become an actual story (and yes, I read all the comments before posting this (so I know it's not to be taken seriously (but maybe you would let me turn it into an actual story?:fluttershysad:(or at least work with you on it?:fluttercry:)))).

That was fun read.
A bit short and I would personaly wish for Spitfire to stay with Luna(or Luna staying with Spitfire), dont like long distance relationship...but thats just me.

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!