• Member Since 26th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen November 18th

starshine_dash


Been writing since high school. It's rare for a fandom to inspire fiction in me, and MLP:FiM has done so. So, here I am.

T
Source

After Trixie's defeat and the confiscation of the Alicorn Amulet, Twilight Sparkle decides to research some of the spells she had seen the showmare cast. Unable to find most of them due to the fact that they required obscene amounts of power, she does manage to find one that might work for her. A spell to reverse aging. Unfortunately, an interruption by her friends causes the spell to go haywire and now Twilight has to deal with being mother to her five best friends.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 37 )

It's an interesting start. though I have to wonder just how it's going to play out beyond, "Everyone reverted to their normal age and memory."

this has promise but I think this chapter needs a rewrite but i will still like and watch to see where it goes,

2622884 because it's short, rushed, and lacks quite a few details to fill out the story.

i LOVE the idea but you didn't state WHY the friends were there, you also made it a big coincidence. didn't fill it in properly.

other than that it's just rushed through the idea

2623237

Mmm, a good point, well, I'll overhaul it this weekend and then hopefully be worthy of all these faves.

2622884 I guess the chapter seems a little rushed I think the rest of the mane six should of been changed in the next chapter and how twilight just found the age spell seems a little hard to believe. I think it twilight should of been that she has been studying the spell and wants to see if she is now strong enough to cast it would of made a little more sense.

Let the headaches begin. :facehoof:

lol, Twilight, why did you do that? you just doomed yourself to insanity. Also *sprays Pinkie with a spray bottle* No biting Pinkamena. *Pinkamena hisses at me and runs off* Ok, now I have to go find her before she turns somepony into cupcakes. Bye! *runs after her with a net*

interesting i agree with some who say it needs a bit of reworking but all in all not bad

2624161 i hope that net is made of Pinkonium, that the only substance that can contain her!

Fascinating.
Let shennanigans ensue!
Liked and faved, eagerly awaiting more! :twilightsmile:

2624601 *comes back with a sleeping Pinkie in a net* made of what now? It's just a very large butterfly net I found *Pinkie yawns cutely* D'awwwwwww

2627064 Pinkonium, its the only known substance that isnt affected by Pinkies fourth wall powers. nothing else has been found that can contain her...

2627092 *looks at teh net* I'm pretty sure this isn't made of that stuff. *shrugs* honestly, she was sleeping when I caught her

2627148 <glances at a clock> five...four...three...two...one... <Pickie suddenly wakes up, gasps, leaps into the air and disappears>

2627157 *smiles* I know how to catch her. *pulls out a cupcake* Who wants a cupcake? *the filly Pinkie reappears*
Cupcake!
Promise not to run?
Cross my heart, hope to fly. Stick a cupcake in my eye
Good *gives cupcake. The filly squeals and eats. falls asleep* Isn't she just cute?

So it begins!
:rainbowwild:

2627212 well, if ur going to cheat...

Will reserve full comment until I see the mentioned overhaul.

However, please keep that Fluttershy moment.

Momma, I'm hungry...

That was so cute it stopped my heart.

Now we only need four brand new chapters and I would be fine! :trollestia:

D'awwww at Applej- wait, no, Fluttersh- wait, but there's Rari-- y'know what, I give up. D'awwwww to the whole story, all of them are insanely cute. Even Pinkie.
Liked and favorited!

Cute but the amount of coincidences and such kinda take away from the whole experience. Maybe consider rewriting and changing a few things, like the title of the book. Also, give a reason why they all came over, such as Twilight locking herself away for some time to research and her friends come over to snap her out of it.

2627212

I hate it when somebody solves a problem immediately after it happens... :ajbemused:

Before I even get to reading this I need to point out how funny the cover photo is, :rainbowlaugh: Pinkie Pie is priceless, and Twilight looks like Barney:rainbowkiss:

There's something wrong with Twi's poor face in that cover art. :rainbowderp:

2628583 not cheating, just giving her a treat.
yeah, it's not cheating you big meanie!
Pinkie, it is impolite to call names. say you are sorry.
I'm sorry..... *hugs you*

2642243 yes its cheating, ur not capturing her, ur bribing her into makeing a Pinkie Promise...

2642701 But I like cupcakes. It wasn't a bribe, I promise. *looks at you with cute sad eyes*

2642737 thats what makes it a bribe Pinkie, he gave u something u wanted in return for doing what he wanted u to. and dont bother trying 'the look' on me, i have hundreds of young dragons trying that every day, as such, im immune...

2642801 as u wish <bows acceptance and takes off, heading back toward the dragon lands>

2642791 But I was really sleepy, and that net is comfy! Please don't be mad at Selena! *makes eyes cuter, becoming irresistable to everyone, even you, because she's Pinkie and can do anything she wants to*
2642741 (is this because of the RP?)

2642801 (sorry, kind of got carried up in it.)

It was good, but a lot of things really annoyed me. Allow me to counter them: Spike does not all asleep when there's work to do, and he never has to pretend to be useful.

“Yes, just in case, since I can’t test this spell on you and I don’t think I should ask one of my friends.”

She may as well just tell him he doesn't have any friends.

and may attach themselves to familiar ponies in an instinctual desire to restore their memories.”

I see them attaching themselves to one familiar pony and ignoring the dragon.

An interesting start though it feels a bit short.:pinkiesmile:

Login or register to comment