Fancy Pants and his lovely wife Fleur are quite possibly Canterlot's most heroic duet. Together they conquered countless events, faced hordes of snobbish socialites, and emerged victorious from the most dire of faux pas. May their bravery and finesse be forever remembered on parties to come!

There is a missing element in their perfect life, though: the joy of having a child and becoming a family. When conventional methods fail, will the couple muster enough courage to seek out the alternative, or will they stay a duet forever?

Enter Chestnut—a daring filly from beyond Equestria, out of their social stratum, and definitely exceeding their boldest expectations.

For better or worse.

Seeing the poor dragon at his wits end trying to woo Rarity, Gilda decides to give Spike some tips and help him gain the mare of his affection. Although she finds him slightly annoying, he starts to grow on her. And she soon learns that Spike has taken a liking to her as well...

Maybe too much of a liking.

This story is a sequel to Diary of a Silent Tyrant

It's funny what an idle slip of the tongue can lead to. When Discord makes an off-hand comment to Fluttershy about the mental diary he kept when encased in stone, she begs him to continue it. She says it will be "therapeutic", but he's sure it'll be a real bore. But who can resist those puppy-dog eyes and a bribe of fresh cookies? Grudgingly, he takes up a pencil to document his thoughts and experiences in his new life. A life among his old enemies. A life he never wanted.

Cover Image by Grievousfan who makes awesome art!

If you ask Applejack, she’ll tell you Pinkie Pie can be a few apples short of a bushel even on the best of days. They’ve always been good friends, but nothing more than that. After all, what could a hard-working apple farmer and a sugar-crazed party pony possibly have in common?

As it turns out, the answer to that question may not be a pleasant one, but something good may yet come of it.

Twilight is a princess, and traveling the land to meet ponies far and wide; an excellent opportunity to make more friends. So why is she so unhappy?

I can't believe this! How dare they forget who they're dealing with! I'm the very Element of Generosity! But to ask me to share my suite with the likes of... her? It's inconceivable, preposterous, ludicrous! They seriously think I, Rarity, fashion designer extraordinaire would be willing to share even a suite with such an... uncouth beast! Unfortunately, the Canterlot Ritz—and every other hotel—is booked solid, so it is either this or nothing. I suppose as long as I keep to myself, I will survive the week. Right?

There are things you just don't say. Some lines you just don't cross, ever. The reason you don't cross them is because of empathy: you know how bad it feels to hear certain things, and you know you wouldn't like it if you heard it yourself. This is a view not shared by everypony.

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon crossed the line. Rarity learns of it. Rarity is not amused.

Everypony draws their line in the sand somewhere.

Disclaimer: contains Rarity in a state of barely lucid rage as well as the use of harsh words. Also Cheerilee being as effective as she is in the show, on average. If you do not enjoy episodes like Ponyville Confidential or any other episode where ponies talk harshly to each other, chances are this'll ruffle some feathers.

If this resembles real life situations or anyone you know, this is not the author's intent nor the author's problem.

Added notice 10/12/13: No, not based on any Season 4 storyline or spoilers, it's an old idea. The spoiler just prompted the publishing.

Added 2021 notice: please check the author's notes before commenting, chances are you'll find some answers there.

... and learns important life lessons, somewhere in between everything going wrong.

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"The first thing I thought upon reading Hitchhikers was that the gods of ponyfiction … had smiled upon me." – Ezn
"Congratulations, you have written the first 'Proper Noun Verbs A Noun' story that does not actively disgust me." - Prereader Benman

After watching another majestic night, Twilight is told to make a wish because wishing on a star always grants wishes. She refuses. After all, it's only an old pony's tale. Climbing into bed, she has a strange dream, yet little does she know, dreams are the desires and wishes of the heart. Upon her waking, she may just find that the stars are rather lenient in their rules and methods.

New installments are on a weekly schedule. Updates most likely to take place on Friday/Saturday CT. Occasionally I may do a surprise Monday update as well. Until then! Ciao and enjoy!

Spike orders a How-To guide book to win Rarity's heart. Will Spike be able to follow all the steps like a true gentlecolt? Will any of the steps actually work? And just what is Rarity looking for in her friendship with Spike, anyway?

Image by VanilleCream at DeviantArt (used by permission).

Totally awesome fanart by Multiversecafe found here: http://multiversecafe.deviantart.com/art/How-to-Woo-your-Lady-in-9-Easy-Steps-285329019