• Member Since 12th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen 9 minutes ago

Jake The Army Guy

Be excellent to each other, and PARTY ON, DUDES! ~ Abraham Lincoln

More Blog Posts526


Jake's Horse Word Extravaganza! · 1:14pm Jun 4th, 2017

Howdy, everyone! First and foremost, as always, adorable Applejack:

Big Hat Appul
Ten points if you get that reference.

Now then, since I teased with the idea, a lot of people have said they would either participate, or at least signal boost it, so I've decided to go forward with it. This is the inaugural edition of Jake's Horse Word Extravaganza contest!

This may or may not be a monthly thing, we'll see how this goes. First, lets go over what you all want to know about: the prizes! Since I don't have enough clout to get anything like an EqD feature or a huge signal boost, and I make good money these days, I've decided that the 1st prize winner will receive a nifty yet simple cash prize. How much depends on how many participate. If 5 people write entries, the prize will be $25. If ten people enter, $30. Fifteen, $40! and if we get 20 people, the prize will be a whopping $50 cold hard cash! So, it behooves you to tell your friends about this and encourage them to enter.

But that's not all! I've talked to my buddy Present Perfect, and he's agreed to this: for 2nd prize, I will commission PP to review your story. That's right, one of the site's premiere and most known reviewers will tell you what he thinks about your fic. And for 3rd prize, I will ask that all the people who signal boost my contest to promote your story, as well. So it's good feelings all around. Judges will be myself and two others, whom I will announce at a later time

Now, to the meat of things! For the first go around, the prompt will be...


That's right, I want some weird lovin'. If you want to write some hot Tom-on-Boulder action, fucking go for it. However, the main thrust is two characters that have never been shipped together, or at least have not been done well. Off the top of my head, Prince Blueblood and, oh say, Double Diamond, or Cheerilee and Tree Hugger(would that be self-cest?). Big Mac and Lyra, Doctor Hooves and Fluttershy, I want it odd!

Now, for the rules:

1. No Inter-Mane Six shipping. Too common and all have been done to death.
2. No Canon relationships. No LyraBon, no ScratchTavia, no married couples.
3. Max length is, oh, 15K. That should be plenty of words to make an organic ship happen
4. Any rating is okay. You want to make that Tom/Boulder a hawt clopfic? I... am genuinely curious and horrified at that prospect...
5. Deadline is June 30th, so you have almost a full month to write

So there you ahve it! Like I said, if enough people enter, this may become a monthly thing, or at lest a frequent one. My hope is that since I can't write these days, maybe I can inspire others. I really hope this goes well, and I hope you have fun with it. Get your writing shoes on, go crazy, and as always, stay safe, stay free, and stay metal! Jake The Army Guy out!

Report Jake The Army Guy · 3,343 views ·
Comments ( 95 )

Tom and Boulder Clopfic you say.....

The crackiest ships I ever did were here: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/303371/signed-sealed-delivered

It was Bulk Biceps/Fluttershy, Rarity/Snips/Snails, Trixie/Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie/Soarin', Twilight Sparkle/Big Daddy McColt, and Celestia/Applejack

I don't know, maybe I'll enter before the end of the month.

Would I be eligible if I use something that I wrote a scene for three years ago and then never finished?


Oh, man. I should have saved "Octankvia" for this. Oh, well, because this is hilarious.

Lemme fire up the ol' Shipping Engine, mkII.

To clarify... OC/OC would also be acceptable?

I'm in, and I think I have a sufficiently cracky idea. Prepare your hindquarters, honky.

Only 15k?! Damn it Jake! Oh welll. Count me in... get ready to buy me lots of booze

Alright this might be main six on main six but I'm going to ask anyway: could I do a Spike/Pinkie Pie ship for this?


Hmm... Well, Spike isn't the Mane Six, so that's cool. I don't think I've ever seen that ship outside of bad clopfics, so go for it!

Sadly, no MacDash. It's not TOO common, but it's common enough.


Hmm again... I'm not sure. I mean, how do we know it's obscure or crack-y if we don't know the characters? Sure, you could have an odd couple of sorts, but opposites attract is pretty common...


Sure! As long as its never been released.

4557742 Oh don't worry I have plans.... andikr I wonder include it somewhere

SomBoulder intensifies

>_> This event intrigues me...I'll give it a shot if I have time.

Ooh, ooh! Somebody beat me over the head with a rock! I need ideas on who porks who!:pinkiehappy:

4557734 oh my god. I will love you forever. Do it.


As a followup, how about Canon x Historical Figure from Human History? I'm thinking of doing something with Sappho of Lesbos x Luna, which I believe should be sufficiently obscure yet contain recognizable characters.

Is AppleSpike off limits? Its pretty much dead now. Sadly.:ajsleepy:

I'll see what I can do.

Hmm. Who should I ship Sunset Shimmer with next. :pinkiecrazy:

THE PretensePrefect will be reviewing the second place winner?

I will give it my best shot.

Hmm. How about Chrysalis/Nightmare Moon? It's not unheard of, but if there are any strong examples, by all means, point me towards them.

I'm also curious about just what metrics you're going to use to judge these stories, especially if clopfics are being allowed.

4557789 Applespike? Been reading any of The_Weaver's old comics recently? :rainbowwild:

4557843 uuuuu~ :fluttercry: still some of the best!:raritycry:

4557846 Weaver, man. I don't know how he does it, but he certainly has a knack for taking some of the most, uh...unusual...ideas out there and making them feel not only natural, but obvious - not to mention *really* good.

Incidentally, Twidoll and Big Mac would make for a really cute shipfic. Just saying.

I dunno man, I've done a lot of crackshipping, so I don't know if I can pull something new out. I'll see if I can brain up some pony new to torture.

Damn, this looks like it might actually take some effort to pull off... I'm in. :rainbowdetermined2:


So for a little bit of clarification on how prizes work... are the tiers like so:

First Place = Cash, Present Perfect Review and blog shoutout
Second Place = Present Perfect Review and blog shoutout
Third Place = blog shoutout

Or is it:

First place = Cash
Second = Present Perfect Review
Third = Blog shoutouts

Also, are collabs allowed? :ajsmug:

Regardless, I'm (hopefully) in.






A few updates:

*I've decided no OCs. It kind of defeats the purpose and challenge
*G1 is allowed
*Humanized/EqG is fine, but no 2nd person stories.
*Judges will be myself, Aquaman, and one more person I am still trying to track down
*Fics will be judged on overall quality, to include grammar, mechanics, originality, plot cohesion, how "organic" you make the ship, and overall enjoyability. This includes mature-rated stories
*Third prize will now be the great Pascoite helping you write a fic, that is giving advice, prereading, and the like, up to around 10K
*Prize tiers:

1st) Cash
2nd) PresentPerfect review
3rd) Pascoite's help


No minimum, but only one entry per person

Dunno what I'll do yet, but I'll definitely do something. Count me in!

Jake, since Sunset and Starlight are practically honorary M6, mind clarifying exactly who's off limits for those two? Also, what's the rule on EqG M6 x Pony M6?

This contest sounds like fun! I've got a couple questions.

1) What are your thoughts on polyshipping? I.e. shipping with three, four-plus ponies at once?
2) Is shipping a pony with an alternate version of themselves okay, even if it's one of the mane 6?
3) Okay, my idea is Rarity getting shipped with every version of herself across the multiverse. :rainbowwild: Is that kosher?

4557982 Update your blogpost hon.


Is there a word minimum?

No minimum

Hmm, I'm going to expand 4557987's question a little further:

Does this mean we can submit, say, a mere two-hundred word story in a comment in this blog or as one chapter of an anthology, or does it have to be at least 1,000 words to be a publishable story on its own?

>Offers PP and Pasco's help for second and third place
>First place only offers lowly cash.

Maybe it's just me not putting much stock in cash nowadays, but it feels as if the third and second place winners get a better deal overall, heh

Also, in case I can't quite enter the contest itself, I can offer my services as a judge. Assuming you want the help of an old and only slightly used writer, heh


Let me rephrase. It has to be an actual, submitted story. Has to meet FIMFiction requirements.

I'll (try) to write something and enter, got a good idea here~
Where do I sign up?

Count me in. Say, is there a pairing you'd like see? I usually don't do shipping stories, so I'm open to a challenge. (I may regret this!) :pinkiecrazy:

4558348 Oh goodness I almost misread that as a 15k work minimum... I was prepared to start a Pike saga this will be so much easier

You know, I've seen maybe two AppleBurn (Applejack x Braeburn) fics ever. I need to fix this. :scootangel:

Well. I only know how to write passable, reference-heavy comedy, don't like shipping at all, am incapable of writing anything over a t-rating in terms of sexuality, and am not a big fan of same-sex ships. So, I must do the only thing I can: try my best so that, when my story becomes a flaming train wreck falling off a cliff, it will be a beautiful flaming trainwreck falling off a cliff.

4558478 I quite literally just made a comment hyping my story as the worst one ever. I see I have some competition.

4558484 Oh, this is gonna be fun. :rainbowdetermined2:

Ooooh, a contest about uncommon ships is how Salvation, one of my favorite fics, was made.

I'm also having flashbacks to The Great and Powerful Trixie Falls in Love With a Pine Cone.

Hmm hmm! I just might do this! I definitely have a a story idea that would fit, now if I can just squeeze it into Juneā€¦

Alright I have one more question before I get to writing: what level of romance does it have to be? Do they have to be officially 'together' somewhere in the fic or can it be a Start of Something New type thing?

Not gonna write it, since I'm still burned out, but I did long ago have an idea for a LunaDash story, if anyone's interested/wants it :P

Login or register to comment