• Member Since 25th Oct, 2011
  • offline last seen 9 hours ago

ROBCakeran53


Ladies and Gentlemen, take my advice. Pull down your pants and slide on the ice.

Search Statistics

Found 20 stories in 31ms



Total Words: 206,219
Estimated Reading: 13 hours


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T

Golden Harvest found out she was getting married after a party. Problem is, her soon to be has a twin, and which one is him is anypony's guess.

Even the Twin's themselves.

Teen rating for mild language, and a couple implications.

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This story makes no sense, and was written in about two hours. Rushed, unedited, and probably bad.
Written for the Season 9 Bingo Writing Contest with only three days before the deadline.

Cover art done in 30 minutes via MS Paint, the best art platform there is. Random vectors are by people on Derpibooru. Rest of image is from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

Chapters (1)
T

Out for a pleasant walk through the woods, Princess Celestia takes a break from dealing with Earth politics and finds herself exiting next to a long, black road. As it just so happens, a native comes by and hits her with roughly two tons of steel, plastic, and glass.

Luckily, the vehicle's occupant carries lots of napkins and bandages.

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This story is based on true events. Written for my good friend, Admiral Biscuit, as a commission/payment for a set of rear wheel bearing puller heads for a slide hammer. He also pre-read and edited it, because that's how he rolls.

Box of Shame second position 12/25. Bah humbug.

Chapters (1)
T
Source

Once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria...

All Hell broke loose.

Meet Mister Officer, Awesome Police, who was pulled away from his 1970's Earth and thrust into the golden age of Equestria. Along with his deputy Sergeant Reckless, and a lack of any real law knowledge, the duo go around Canterlot dealing with crimes no other pony dares tackle.

These are their stories, their heroics, and their passion for fighting crime and punishing those who do wrong to others.

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Pre-read by Snakeskin Ducttape, and not properly edited by anyone, including me.

Chapters (2)
T
Source

This story is a sequel to What We Really Want


On a lazy Saturday afternoon, Spitfire travels to Ponyville to spend the weekend with her boyfriend Jacob after being put on administrative leave for a week. Jacob has a surprise for her, in the form of something he calls Bionicles. A surprise visit from Twilight, however, causes a change in their previously thought up plans for their future.

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Another commission by the awesome Doomgooey which basically continues from the last one.

Pre-read and edited by the King of Slice of Life himself, Admiral Biscuit!

Cover art is by (I think?) Wenni, used without permission so if there is an issue feel free to yell at me.

Also, this commission helped pay for new outer tierods for my mothers truck, so thanks! No more sloppy steering (for the time being).

Chapters (1)
T
Source

Relationships: For Jacob, it was something he thought coming to Equestria would have robbed him of. For Spitfire, it was something she thought her job would have robbed from her. Yet, after celebrating their third year anniversary of being together, they both come to a conclusion about what they want in life, and each other.

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This was a commission by Doomgooey, which helped pay for gas. Thanks!

Chapters (1)
T
Source

The man was tired, so very tired.

The couch was old and worn.

Music played through a dated record player.

And then ponies started to show up.

What does all of this mean?

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This fic has actually existed for quite some time, but never published. It's gone from being a rant fic about life, to a comedy fic about ponies inhabiting Earth. I could never find what I wanted to do with this story about my life. And then, it clicked. I knew what I wanted, what I needed this fic to be. This is to be read the same way it is written. At the end of a long day, when you're emotionally and physically drained, and you just need to take a break from the world.

This is my break. Have a seat, and relax.

Chapters (12)
E
Source

Equestria is doomed. Celestia has given up all hope. There's nopony strong, brave, or chivalry enough to best this new foe.

Luna knows of one hero that can save them all, but this will open up old wounds. Can she let go of her feelings, or will they crash into her heart at full speed?

Chapters (1)
T
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The streets of Ponyville are no longer safe. Constantly being bumped into, honked at, and yelled at by an elderly alien has driven the citizens into their homes. All he wants is Denny's, who or what that is no pony knows. Can Twilight and her friends stop this monster from destroying the quiet little town?

Not if his Korean war stories are to be believed...

Rated Teen for language. Proofread and Edited by FlutterPriest and Admiral Biscuit.

Chapters (8)
T
Source

Anon goes to use the public restroom, only to discover the lack of urinals. This confuses him. Potty talk ensues.



Pre-Read and heckled by FlutterPriest and The Skeetster,

Chapters (1)
T

This story is a sequel to My Little Dashie


FEATURED APRIL 1st, 1993

It was suppose to be a normal Christmas for John McClane, spend time with his two young children and hope to continue the process of fixing his mess of a marriage. What he didn't bargain for, but should have expected, was on his way to L.A. his flight would get grounded in the middle of nowhere, Kansas.

What starts out as a annoying delay becomes a race against the clock as a unknown group of mercenaries descends upon the small town, their original plot also delayed by the pending storm. But when McClane finds a lost blue pegasus filly, all hell breaks loose.

Now he must stop a terror plot against his home country, help an innocent talking horse find hope, and make it home before it's too late. Can McClane save Christmas? Or will he have to make a choice between his family, or my little Dashie?

...nope, couldn't write that with a straight face.

Chapters (2)
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