The second book in the renown Daring-Do series.
Join Daring on her quest for the Griffon's Goblet, the legendary drinking cup said to have belonged to Discord himself. A quest that will take her around the globe, from the highest towers of Canterlot to the lowest dungeons of the Lost Kingdom.
Spacial thanks to TehJadeh for letting me use her picture as a cover. Find her gallery here: http://tehjadeh.deviantart.com/
Thank you! I have been waiting for someone to do one of these for ages!
203152 Do you mean a Daring-Do fic? (Because there are felt 2 million out there already and it hasn't been a week since the episode aired.) Or a good old action filled pulpfiction flic?
Glad that you like it ether way.
Awesome start.
Hmm. In my head, Buddeldot is played by an Applejack lookalike...
203200
Well then I'm not sure why i have not seen one myself. Anyway keep up the good work.
When I watched the new episode, I said to myself.
"Hethen, I'm willing to bet there will be a rush of Daring Doo fanfics incoming."
I was right.
This one is ... alright
4.5, and hoorah. Hoorah!
First off: monocles on unicorns are wicked. So far your off to a pretty good start! The only thing I can really say is it might be good to go back and check out your punctuation on sentences such as this: ‘Her lungs burned, the smoke from the steam locomotive made her cough and stung her eyes.’ The comma after ‘her lungs burned’ should be a semicolon. There’s a few instances like that, but nothing too drastic or show stopping. Also, I’m not entirely sure what you mean by ‘a monocle was tugged in his right eye’? The dialogue overall seems to be a bit lacking (in my opinion) and I think things move a bit too fast, and the story would likely benefit from a bit more description and character building. But in general, I’m looking forward to the next chapter!
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I really like the story! I really wish you just post more often though. :/ But yeah, you probably want to make each chapter perfect for fans like me. Keep up the great work!
501776
Sorry, I'm working on chapter 4 and am about 7000 words into it, but progress is slower than i'd like. And I had the other chapters in the /fic training grounds and spend a lot of time edeting, up to the point where I didn't want to read another word of my own story.
But don't fret, I will finish this story! (or die trying) Pinkie promise!
Congrats on the feature!
I was wondering when this would pop up on EqD... By the way, I'm a girl :)
“Was joking lass. Luna would be flaying me alive if I were to ever break me vows.”
Weren't the Daring-Do books written before Luna returned?
Oh look. This is on EqD. yays!
Definitely great start.
I love the setting and how you narrated the action, very clear and very to the point. You know you got it good when I picture everything in my head with a grainy filter and the adventure music theme sounding in my head.
There are a few spelling errors here and there, but I make them myself too a lot and they don't break the inmersion. Good start!
Finally on EQD!
642858 Not this one.
But I think you are generally right, and I messed it up.
642634>>643987 Thanks!
Loving it!
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That ending to chapter 2... really rustled my jimmies.
I just can't take Buddeldot seriously... that whole pirate thing is *way* overdone. I noticed a few errors (grammatical or spelling) so you might want to have a bit more scrutiny. I love Daring Do though, so I'll be sure to keep reading. It's good so far! Although the threat at the end was a little bit too far, IMO.
The Griffon's Goblet, the cup said to contain chocolate milk drank by Discord at the Last Breakfast, the cup which caught his liquid hot magma blood after he was turned to stone.
It will grant those who drink of it eternal insanity and likely turn them into his mind-fuq-slaves!
Daring Doo reads all this and blinks, "Yeeeeeahhhhh... I'll pass. This Holy Grail things looks cool though..."
What an evil president! I'll bet he asks for the stallion's liver so he can eat it with fava beans and a nice chianti too! I tried tell them, over and over, democracy doesn't work!
HAIL CELESTIA!!
"When Daring tore her eyes away from their well-formed flanks, she noticed him. A dark feathered griffon was looking at her, hunger in his eyes. She briefly wondered in which way he fantasized devouring her. The thought sent shivers down her spine."
Oh Daring Do, you naughty closet vore, you!
649027 Makes me think of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbsXev8Lkr8&feature=related
649335>>662349 Seems like I made the President loathsome enough to be Daring-Do's antagonist.
Sorry for the long wait everypony. I promise the next chapter will follow quicker, it's already written and just needs some editing.
Have fun reading!
Damn. Daring Do is one horny pony.
Sexual references. Sexual references everywhere. But... I... like it? Such a strange love story you have between them, yet enjoyable and funny to read.
I guessed that those were poison joke before they walked into it. and it was funny to what happened to them.
Very fun chapter to read!
Really fun, but the part where they switched bodies confused me
I'm not sure, maybe its just me, but I think you could have made it a little clearer, when referring to them.
But it was an awesome read
690173>>691666>>694091 Thanks!
694413 It confused the hay out ouf me when writing it too.
642678 Facehoof. It took me only 3 weeks and 2 days to figure out why you would mention that you are a girl. My bad, fixed it in the describtion.
This time I decided to record all the errors I saw. I would go into wording perhaps for some stuff, but that'll take too long.
[[When he had stilled his thirst, she began to clean his face with a wet cloth from dried blood an vomit.]] and vomit*
[[Without warning Daring swiped him into a tight hug. The knife fell to the ground cluttering. “You did the right thing. Nopony could done it better!” she whispered into is ear.]] his ear*
[[“I don't hear no birds and no critters. There are not even insects to be seen. It's like we are the only things alive on the planet.”]] I don't hear any birds or critters* and (pretty sure) There's not even insects to be seen*
[[The mare frowned, and looked around sceptically for long moments.]] skeptically*
[[Not only because for the first time fuel was readily available, and it would ward of the chills of the night, but they hoped it's light would keep away whatever was lurking at the lake.]] ward off* and instead of it's, its*
[[The angry curse of the young stallion broke the night's silence, and startled Daring, who had been staring absentmindedly out to the lake.]] no comma after silence. And, instead of "to the lake," I would say "towards the lake."
[[“Whats wrong?” she asked, raising her eyebrows.]] What's*
[[“All of them are rotten; even the dried fruits; even the hay!” he exclaimed baffled, then shook his head in disbelieve, and threw the spoiled food away in anger.]] instead of semicolon, I believe it should be a colon? dunno. Also, disbelief*
[[“We got,” he started, and squinted is eyes, trying to read the labels. “Two cans of beans.”]] his eyes*
[[The colt snorted in response; opened the can, and placed it next to the fire.]] Instead of semicolon, just a comma will suffice.
[[She took a wide stance, her head lowered, and stared into the near field of high grass. Bulwark quickly got to his hooves, and positioned himself at her side.]] and she stared*, hooves and positioned*
[[Daring relaxed a little, and let her guard down. A striped mare embarked from the high grass, and walked into the light of their fire.]] I'll stop with the comma-conjunction errors. It looks like you aren't completely sure of the rules for it. If the two parts it separates are individual sentences on their own, then it needs a comma. If not, then it doesn't need one. Here remove them. There is a bunch later but I'll ignore them.
[[Share your fire with any traveler that might come along, like he is your friend, and friends you shall be; and friends at any fire you will find!”]]
*Share your fire with any traveler that might come along like he is your friend, and friends you shall be, and friends at any fire you will find!”*
[[and a bashful smile found its way to his lips .]] Remove the space after lips.
[[“Heh! So, what brings you to this lonely place. Oh, and by the way: I'm Daring-Do, and this is Bulwark,” the pegasus asked, and made a quick introduction when the laughter had faded.]] *“Heh! So, what brings you to this lonely place? Oh, and, by the way, I'm Daring-Do, and this is Bulwark,” the pegasus asked and made a quick introduction when the laughter had faded.*
Okay, yeah. That took a long time anyway for just grammar/punctuation/other typos. That was maybe the first 3.5k-4k words of the chapter. In other words, MORE EDITING. That was just a first read through and some mistakes; who knows what a battle-hardened editor would find? :pinkie gasp:
I really need to become an editor.
EDIT: Yeah I found a lot of mistakes after I stopped putting them here. And also, damn your cliffhangers.
820608
Thanks for pointing this all out. Corrected them to the best of my knowledge. Curious thing, one of them was in the FIM script but not in my open office original.
Maybe you really should become an editor. You seem to have a knack for finding the small things that got overlooked even after four times of editing. Would you like to help me with chapter 6?
But I swear English punctuation eludes me. The more I learn about it, the more I seem to be doing it wrong. Doesn't help that there are different ones for American English and British English too. Friend of mine, who is an English teacher, told me it is so hard that I shouldn’t even bother to learn it. It's really frustrating and I feel like banging my head against my desk. I need something like “The defining guide of punctuation for hopeless dummies”.
820671 Yeah sure I could help with some of the editing. Just not next week after the 29th, I'll be gone without a computer (OH DEAR CELESTIA WHAT WILL I DO). I hope editing this will not make me compulsively start editing things... I have my own fanfic I want to begin writing this summer before school begins again!
In regards to the British English grammar, I can't say I am not too familiar with it. I know about the different spellings of some things, such as ou's instead of o's and s's instead of z's in some cases, but other than that, nope. With you bringing that up, it made me wonder about this line:
[[“You will need a compass; water canteen; fire stone; pot; knife of course; and a blanket,”]]
That for me was a "What is this... I don't even" moment when I first read it. I never have seen semicolons used like that for lists except when there's commas in the individual items in the list. Is that a British English thing? For me, I'm just familiar with how the language is supposed to sound and when/where to use punctuation and certain words. Pft. I should be in AP English, yet I never decided to take it. Generally as a rule for me, I would avoid correcting wording in quotes *coughcoughApplejack* unless I knew they already seemed to be relatively proficient in the English Language.
Awesome chapter as always keep up the great word!
821390 Thanks!
Hmm, The Doctor is canon in this story!
That can only mean the President is... the Lord President of the Time Ponies! IT'S RASSILON!!!
And he wants the cup to open the time lock and release Gallopfrey from the Time War!
This all makes perfect sense.
PS: Would you mind doing a wee lil ol' clop expansion of the encounter between Daring and the griffon back at the tavern a couple chapters ago. So hot... *Alondro is a horrible pervert...*
822275 I have to admit, I haven’t given any thought as to what exactly happened between Daring and the Griffon in Chapter 3.
That is until today. Now my head is full of clop.
Keep your eyes peeled; I may just have to write it down.
826064 *evil cackle!* Another has fallen to my evil power! >:}
I think Daring is into predator-play. She probably loves it when they say she looks good enough to eat. ;3
This is truly awesome. Just finished reading the fifth chapter and now I want more How dare you leave me on a cliffhanger! But I guess I'll just have to bare with it and wait until chapter 6 just like your other readers. By the way I also want to compliment you on your clop scene in chapter 3. Although I am normally turned away by clop (Because it just creeps me out), you have written it well enough that it is not uncomfortable and awkward. Where it's more humorous and shaken off. Well done! 5 stars for that! Rarely that ever happens I find. Anyways I better wrap this up...You may find this weird but I like to give the President the voice of Christopher Walken. His personality just fits his awesome voice and I can't wait to read more of him again...Keep up the great work!
While doing the final edit, I decided to split this chapter into two after all. Just like I did with the previous two, but much sooner. I wish I had done that weeks ago, before I started revising one monstrous chapter. I don't know how other authors handle weekly 20k+ word chapters.
Sorry for the long wait. The final chapter should take much less time.
Sall good, I have enjoyed the story so far.
aaaaaa I'm so excited! The next chapter can never come soon enough!
You're doing good work!
Sooooo... now a side story about Bulwark rutting the zebra twins like a wild animal...
Foolish President. He forgot the first rule of true chaos: It cannot have a goal. Only owe who comprehends the utmost bounds of chaos and revels in madness can ever drink of Discord's power... *grins evily* I wonder who that might be...
I played the Indiana Jones music for a bit at the end. It was awesome.
Out of all the Daring Fic's out there this is by far the best one in my opinion!
Funny, Exicting, Sad, Dirty () and overall just awesome! I realy realy realy realy realy realy hope you make more Daring Fanfics, cause knowing this is over makes me a sad Panda !
Cue obligatory indiana jones theme music inside my head :D
'twas a good story cheerio. A wonderful read
921782 922191 That's the spirit. Daring even has her own soundtrack made by mandopony
921812 Thanks. But I will write something else before I consider doing another Daring-Do fic. But it will be in the same spirit as the Griffon's Goblet and at least 20% cooler!
923518 thanks
I absolutely loved this story!
I really hope you make more Daring Do stories!
I do say i love this story i can't w8 for a new one