• Published 25th Mar 2013
  • 901 Views, 20 Comments

Head-first to Equestria! - Simon_oSullivan



A pegasister sees her wish to go to Equestria come true.

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Head-first to Equestria!

At first, she felt stupid at the thought of shooting stars granting wishes, but she decided to give it a chance. If it worked, she was going to be as prepared as she had to. If it didn’t, at least she’d have an amazing pie for dinner.

Heather waited impatiently in the kitchen, tapping her foot on the marble tiles as she took turns staring at the oven and at her watch. Next to her laid a large backpack full of clothes, both human and pony size. Ponies didn’t wear clothes on a daily basis, sure, but she thought that she might feel naked if she didn’t, and it would take time to adapt to the change. Learning to knit wasn’t that hard, but it sure was boring after a couple hours. She also brought a couple extra batteries for her watch, as well as a print of Equestria’s map and a compass to make sure that she’d be able to find her way at first through the kingdom until she got used to it.

Not knowing if she would stay human or become an earth pony, pegasus or unicorn, she became worried. It was true that pegasi could use their wings pretty much like hands, and unicorns used magic; however, she feared that she would take time to learn to cast spells. Lyra might become the best solution; she was the one able to behave and act like humans the most. Maybe she could make a deal with her: Lyra could teach her how to do human-like things, like grabbing and holding items with her hooves, and she would tell her everything about humans.

Once the oven stopped, Heather hopped in enthusiasm, opening the door and putting the oven mittens on before pulling out a delicious-looking pie. She got close to it and smelled it intensely. With a broad smile, she kicked the oven’s door closed and turned it off before running upstairs. The sound of her tennis shoes was intensified by the wooden planks that were used as steps. When she arrived to her room, she turned to the wall where the office table stood. On it, the opened laptop showed images of Soarin, and next to it rested a huge poster of the same Wonderbolt, confidently standing on his hind legs with his waving mane, his wings completely spread and his front legs crossed in front of his strong chest.

Heather bounced out of pure joy as she presented the pie to the poster.

“I’ve made this for you, my dear Soarin,” she said as she put it aside, next to the large backpack and the umbrella she was taking with herself. “I don’t believe what all those artists and authors say about you liking stallions.” With a step forward, Heather pressed her bosom against the poster’s crotch, her lips stopping mere inches away from Soarin’s lips. “I know you’re a stallion who loves mares. And I will be the one for you,” she added before kissing his muzzle.

Heather turned around to look at her reflection in the mirror, for chances were that it would be the last time she could see her human self. She had drawn her pony self just like her human one, with her short, brown hair that matched her eyes behind her glasses, held by a slightly big yet charming nose. She showed off some decently wide hips and heaving bosom that mixed wonderfully with her chubby waist. She dedicated a moment to admire her college degree in Chemistry before thinking that it might help her to have that as evidence of her knowledge, so she took it with her too.

Her sport shoes would be perfect for her time there, as wearing heels during her stay there would destroy her feet. She was wearing mostly sport clothes, a loosened and comfortable pair of pants and a T-shirt with Soarin in the middle of it, winking as he raises a pie with one hoof. In case of getting cold out there, she also took a cardigan with her.

After she made sure everything was ready, Heather kneeled down, staring through her window, waiting for the meteor shower that the news announced it would happen. The breathtaking show almost distracted her from her goal, but she came to her senses, put her hands together and pleaded for her wish.

“I wish to go to Equestria!” she begged with all the power her lungs allowed her.

To her surprise, it appeared to be working as sparkling orbs spawned around her, their light intensifying every second, until the whole room got engulfed by them. She reacted by closing her eyes shut, and soon she felt herself floating. A weird feeling in her stomach, as if clenching and twisting, made her nauseous, but she covered her mouth with both hands to soothe the feeling. The sensation ended shortly after, and only when she didn’t notice anything odd happening to her aside from the floating, she slowly opened her eyes. And there she was.

The wonderful city of Cloudsdale stood before their, the starry night sky covering the land. Not even the best artists and authors had been able to make justice to such wonderful landscape she had in front of her. Spiraling buildings made entirely of clouds spread throughout the city, even beyond the horizon.

She looked at her hands, noticing that she was still a human. Well, more fun bits for Soarin to play with, she thought with a smile, despite her hopes of turning into a pony. She shrugged it off; maybe Celestia could turn her into one; she could transform Twilight from a unicorn to an alicorn, so it was a possibility. Heather noticed how her body slowly lowered until she touched the clouds that formed the city’s ground. However, she began to sink in it, remembering something she wasn’t prepared for.

Only pegasi could walk on clouds.

With a horrified scream that nopony was close enough to hear it since it was so late, Heather plummeted head-first to the ground and suffered a painful, yet quick, death. A few moments later, a hydra ate her corpse unceremoniously, swallowing her in one gulp. Nopony knew what happened, or cared. Except for the hydra, which felt she was not as good tasting as it’d expected.

The end.

Comments ( 20 )

This was rather amusing. Nicely done.

But what happened to the pie? :pinkiegasp:

Fucking love this.

<3

A+

BwahahahHhA awesome!

Oh. Ok.

Clearly you don't like H.i.E.

2319623

It's not that I don't like the genre. I usually take original premises or twists. Though it's true that HiE is a demonified genre (and not without reasons), I've read some good ones. This was just... an experiment. This actually reminded me of those times when you spend ages building your character in an RPG and them BAM, the first monster rips you apart.

So no, I have nothing against any genre. Now, specific stories? Totally, but that's just like everything else in this world.

>>Simon_oSullivan

"What's the first thing you'll do when you get there?"

"...try not to die."

A person must be specific with wishes otherwise the proverbial monkey paw will fist rape them.

This would be me. I wouldn't last a day. :facehoof:

2319300 Well Duh, the hydra ate it along with heather and all her other stuff. The pie was probably the best tasting thing about that particular meal I'm guessing.

Oh course Heather tasted horrible, she's named after a bush and 80's dark comedy. This was satisfying, because it feels like a parody of a HiE fic. :pinkiehappy:

Oh god, this reminds me of a silly fic I wrote in which almost the exact same thing happened, but never uploaded because it was just too silly. Heh.

this was funny as hell

followin'

Vaguely humorous in a morbid sort of way. On all other counts, rather pathetic.

4282143 Yeah, not my finest work, I have to admit it. I'm really bad at oneshots.When I had to start adding stuff to get into the minimum word count, I already imagined it was going to be a bit meh. I consider this a joke that became a bit longer than the punchline could handle, but it was a fun writing all in all.

4282645
I see. If you wanted you could be ultra cruel by having her turn into a pegasus properly on the way down, barely escape being ground paste and then smash into a hill and end up with broken wings. Excepting canon, I bet those take a long time to heal... Of course, maybe then you've just slid into HiE.

Full review here, but in brief: I feel a horrible person for laughing at the ending. What comes before is almost archetypal brony-in-Equesria stuff, though.

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