• Member Since 16th May, 2012
  • offline last seen Oct 3rd, 2017

Loyal


Just a dude. Writes horsewords... with varying regularity.

Comments ( 27 )

You're right, this could be really good, depending on how you go about doing things, but as of right now? I am liking this... :twilightsheepish:

So far as "get readers hooked with the first page" goes, you've hit the nail square. I like the semi-meta reference to the show. Not sure I've ever seen it done that way. Also, dark!

So thanks for that.

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I wasn't entirely sure why I put that in... But I like to think of the show being just that... A show... Produced by ponies for humans. I'd like to think that hasn't been done yet.

While the story won't focus on that, it was just an idea I was toying with.

Comment posted by Mekasan deleted Apr 15th, 2014

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Truth?
I fucking forgot they were vegetarians.
God damnit.

Comment posted by Edensola deleted Feb 10th, 2013

Commence read.

Very dark and so far wondering what will happen next.

Very interesting and i say this with full interest because i'm not one to read dark or gore but i would be looking forward to this if you plan to continue and the story seems vaguely familiar......well the thought will come to me but i say this is a like and a fav and a spike for you, Loyal :moustache:

I'm not too sure what to think of this, I'm not a fan of Gore or Dark stories. I'll keep track of it and see what happens.:twilightsmile:

I... Wow. I came in with a bit of a negative attitude about this whole plot line, being that I'm not that big a fan of these kinds of things usually, but there's something that I can't quite place about this. Maybe I'll figure it out later, maybe I won't. Either way, I'll be watching for this one.
On an empty stomach.:pinkiesick:

This looks promising. I don't see too many good dark stories around here sadly, so I will definetly keep a lokkout for the next chapter.

Loyal? I don't want to be here anymore, take me back to the land of sunshine and rainbows please.

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Shoulda taken a left at Trottingham, buddy. You're in the wrong fuckin' neighborhood.

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I knew it! i knew i turned wrong somewhere!

This idea intrigues me, being a semi-avid fan of murder-mystery. Prologue is very well set up too, not very long but with just enough detail and teasers to grab my attention and hold on. Definitely something I'd read more of if you decide to continue.

Loyal, this is great. I'm not one of those guys down there who aren't particularly into this stuff but will watch it because it's intriguing, I will definitely be keeping up with this when you get around to writing more of it.

I'm hooked from this chapter alone! PLEASE write more soon! Unless something has come up in your life that I'm not aware of. I don't want to sound demanding, I just really love detective stories.:twilightsheepish:

wow.... this is intense... and i need more :D

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Loyal its a SHOW though remember? maby they ARNET vegetarians its a dark world..........
Anyway i dont think many people noticed that but i think if you wanted to spare the time you could swing that or something better into the story
But you dont really NEED to :)
:heart: it, keep it up :D

Love this so far, can't wait to see more.

This is fucking spectacular, I know you started this a while ago, but I would really like to see more of it. I like the amount of thought and detail you put into the corpses, giving just the right amount of detail to leave some of it a mystery, and they way you ended the chapter, I loved it!

MOAR! :flutterrage: I mean... if that's ok with you...

2680217 I agree, some of the details lead me to believe the murderer is a pegasus, the broken spine was my first clue. I'll keep an eye on this.

WRITE MORE! It's got a very good start and looks to be a promising read if you ever write it. I would love for it to actually be made. If I'm right, which I usually am, then this could be one of the best FIC's based around a detective. That of course means that you would have to write it, but that's just details. Make the details happen. Expecting good things from this.

~Neon Scar

Why.

Why was this cancelled.

This is fan-fucking-tastic.

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Because I suck ass.

Please continue this, I'm liking where this is going. :pinkiesmile:

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