• Published 24th Jan 2013
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My New Life in Equestria: Helping Has Its Ups and Downs - HAZESHIFT

Waking up in a tree usually doesn't mean its gonna be a good day...today on the other hand I find it to be the opposite...at least in the short run as i find myself in a world of ponies

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Chapter 25: Blood, Sweat, Tears, and just and bit of Soiled Armor

Chapter 25: Blood, Sweat, Tears, and just a bit of Soiled Armor.

It was early in the morning in Celestia’s study and the room was as quiet as a crypt. “The tension was palpable as I along with Swift Gale sat on the opposite end of a table from the leaders of Omega Squad. The three of them didn’t stare at me all at once but every time one stopped looking another one took their place. Each of them also had a different type of stare. Shock Point had a stare like a secretary staring at from across a desk. The Earth pony named Rock Crush stared at me like an angry pro wrestler. And lastly the Pegasus who was named Wind Shear just stared at me like he was a bot bored at the whole situation.

The whole waiting felt like it was thirty minutes that passed but in reality it was five minutes before the doors to the room opened and Celestia and Luna walked in.

“I’m sorry we’re late my ponies. Sometimes those nobles can seriously seem to talk forever.” Celestia apologized to us.”

“Tis true I wonder sometimes if they actually need to stop breathe sometimes when they get on their rants.” Luna added.

“Maybe one day you should let me talk to them maybe I can knock some sense into them.” I joked. After sitting in a relatively weird silence I felt like it was the best thing to do.

“Your not going to threaten them with violence are you Dan?” Celestia had her trademark smirk on.

“Oh no Princess I’m would probably just yell at them to the point where all the stallions are crying like little fillies.”

“Hmm…well I’ll think on it and save it for later but for now we have some business to discuss.” Celestia said as she walked up to the table and tapped it twice. The lights dimmed a bit as a light came from the table. A 3d map sprung up from the boundaries of the table surprising me and the rest of the ponies in the room.

“This is a representation of the whole area which will be the battlefield. The scenario as we have previously stated is an attack and defend scenario. Team A will be the attacking force; while Team B will be the defending force. Now the first thing Team B has to do is pick their defense point. The rules are that after that Team A will be set at a distant point away from that and they will have to get past the other team. Dan I suggest you look over the map to see if anything seems good for you.” I nodded to show my understanding.

“Now as for combat.” Luna said next. “We know that usually soldier such as yourself cannot put their full strength into battle against your fellow guards for fear of hurting them in ways that would weaken the guard as a whole; fortunately this year we have come up with something. During the games this year before it begins all guards will have a couple of spells placed on them. What these do is that in battle if a guard is struck by a “killing blow” then the magic will kick in and register them as dead. After that they will be switched with a doll that represents their body. It will weigh as much as a normal pony and on the inside it will be… “Accurate”.” Luna magicked a doll before us. It looked like they had made a sandbag in the shape of a pony and filled it with…stuff.

“For combat all types of weapons are allowed. You may restrict your teams to whatever weapons you desire. As for magic we are setting the threshold at class five spells so things won’t get to crazy. Oh and also there will be a maintained flight ceiling of 1000 feet.” Celestia finished up as her sister played around with the dead pony substitute. “That is all the information that we have to give you at this time; is there any questions?”

“None from us Princess Celestia we look forward to the battle.” Shock Point said first gathering some papers she had been writing noted on. She walked out first followed by her two co-leaders behind her.

“And have you decided on where your forces will try to hold ground?” She looked at me as I kept my eyes on the map.

“Jarvis; you find what I was looking for?” I asked out loud.

“Yes sir.” The disembodied voice responded. “After going through the entire area I believe the closest place you looking for will be right here.” The image on the table altered and zoomed into an area that was along a coast line leading into a canyon of sorts.

“Thank you Jarvis, why don’t you relay all the info to the princesses while we wait.”

“Certainly sir. Might I add it is finally nice to meet you; your highnesses. And if you are wondering about “looking at me” you can just say whatever you feel is comfortable to the table; I will not take any offense.” Celestia and Luna both stared at the table; Luna being a bit more wide eyed than her sister. It took a minute before they seemed to calm down and both started talking to the table. And while they were doing that Swift nudged me in the side.

“Ok now I can say that I’ve seen just about everything. But what are we waiting for exactly?” she asked.

“Oh I sent Lore Keeper and Storm Breaker to go search the archives to go see if there was a particular spell or something else that will help out our team very nicely. I hope they get here…oh; speak of the devil.” I said as I heard two sets of frantic hooves coming down the hallway. Sure enough two forms tried to stop and skidded past the door and out of view again. Five seconds later there was a knock at the door.

“Permission to enter your highnesses?”

“You may enter. Now you were saying Jarvis?” Celestia allowed them to enter and then went back to whatever conversation she was having with her sister and Jarvis.

“Thank you Princess. Dan I think we found exactly what you were looking for.” Lore Keeper ruffled through one of the bags at his side and brought out a book. He set it down on the edge of the table and opened it up to a specific page. “Is this your spell?” Lore said with a grin on his face.

I looked at the page his hoof was pointing to. I poured over the text of the page and felt myself start to grin.

“Oh this was exactly what I was looking for. We have been restricted to level five and under spells though. Where do this come in?”

“It is exactly at level five.” Lore Keeper’s grin didn’t get any smaller even as Swift came over and read over the page.

“Anti-Pegasus Field? Do you mind explain what this is about Dan?” I could tell she was confused but I could also hear just a bit of anger in her words.

“Let’s just say I’m playing to the other team’s emotions a bit and trying to even the playing field a bit. And don’t work I’m sure we can make sure it doesn’t affect our side right Lore Keeper?” I said looking at him. He quickly nodded in confirmation. “Good. Now excuse me Celestia I’m afraid I’m going to have to take Jarvis away. Its day one of training and it promises to be…different.” I said looking over to the white Alicorn.

“Oh sure we were just finishing up anyway. Do your best Dan you’re going to need it.” Celestia said with one of her trademark smiles. I nodded, picked up my things and left with the other members with my squad.

Minutes later I was standing in front of my team. As they had all gathered I told them to mix it around so that they weren’t standing next to anyone from their squad in any direction. “Alright stallions, mares. Look at the ponies surrounding you. Look left, right, behind, whatever. From now on get to know these ponies not just your squad mates. This is no longer just a simple team. When we face combat we will fight as one group not as a bunch of groups thrown together. We must be like a family; each mare or stallion to your right or left is your brother, and you will protect them with everything you have just like you would for your actual brother or sister. Now to practice and demonstrate this I’m going to need five volunteers; none of which are from my squad at the moment cause I have filled some of them in on what we are doing now. So will five lucky ponies step up?”

It took about a minute but five ponies made their way up. Three stallion and two mares. “Alright good now that you’re here I’d like to introduce you to my second in command Sergeant Swift Gale; she is going to be personally training you for this portion.” Swift stepped out from where she was standing and the five ponies gave her a salute.

“Ok so this portion of training which everypony will undertake in some way goes a bit like this. The theme of this is teamwork; your objective is to stop her from getting through you. No magic no weapons just use yourselves. But be warned she is a very good fighter so don’t do anything to…well you know when the time comes. So just remember stop her from getting through you past this line.” I walked behind them and dug a line in the sand. “Alright so let’s see how this turns out. Pay close attention everyone all of you before this day is out will pass this or you’ll do it till the sun comes up tomorrow.” I made sure to clear the area and I picked up a whistle. “Everybody ready?” The group of five managed to nod their heads meekly; I didn’t need to look at Swift since she was always ready for something like this.

*TWEET* I blew the whistle. Swift wasted no time in speeding towards the group, and in true panicked fashion all five started to charge her at their own pace. Swift flew into the first one who was knocked of his feet into the mare behind him. She pushed right in between the next two so she could barrel into the last one and keep pushing him straight back past the line before picking up off the ground a little so he could fall.

A mixture of sounds could be heard from the crowd as the ponies that were mowed down by Swift laid on the ground. I let them rest for five seconds before I called out.

“That…was the complete opposite of what I wanted now get up and try again. She didn’t hit you that hard. I want you up and ready in ten seconds to go again. NOW UP!” I barked a little as the five slowly got to their feet and into position to begin again.

*TWEET* I blew the whistle and watched the same exact events play out again. All five charged wildly and again they were thrown to the ground. I sighed put on a fake accent and said “Mada mada dane.” under my breath so no one would hear.

“Up and again.” I said to the ponies getting off the ground. I knew that it would take a couple tries for them to get what this part of the training was about but I felt like it was the best way. “Spitfire.” I called to her out of the crowd. She got to me right as the group got to their positions for another round.

*TWEET* “Is their something you wanted to see me about Dan?” she said.

“Yeah. Jonagold and I have to go see a smith about equipment. I want you to start breaking everyone down into teams like this. Find ponies like Swift and have them do exactly what she is doing. Every ten times they go through the motions have them take a couple minutes rest; but not to long. Oh and try not to have too many injuries ok?”

“Got it chief anything else I should know?” Spitfire asked. I shook my head no and then realized the group had gotten up. I couldn’t tell if they were determined, scared, or believed that I had something up my sleeve. But I could tell that they were in a bit of pain.


It took a bit but Jonagold and I stood before a shop where he said worked the greatest blacksmith in all of Equestria. “Are you sure this guy can make what we need?” I asked Jonagold.

“Well if we are going to need something that going to take a bashing and still look pretty this stallion is our pony.” He said taking a step towards the door only to have it swing open towards him. A plume of black smoke came out and a stallion calmly walked out coughing only slightly as he was laughing.

“Well ok then I think that all the ways explosive spells can’t be used for smithing. Guess I can check that off my list… Well who do we have here?” He said as he finally took off his goggle and looked at Jona and me. “Well if it isn’t Jonagold Apple and if my eye don’t deceive me Equestria’s first hummus.”


“Gesundheit.” I felt a bit surprised that the small bit of conversation just happened. “The name is Brass Tack and as you have probably heard from Jona; me…?”

“Oh, Dan.” I said holding out my hand. It took him a moment but he put his hoof in mine and we shook.

“I understand you have some things you want me to make for you? Why don’t we step into my workshop and see what you got.” It took a minute to get through the smoke but once inside I saw vast shelves filled with different swords, shields, armor, and plenty of other kinds of fighting instruments.

“So what exactly do you need me to make for you?”

“Well I need a couple hundred of these.” I said pulling out a piece of paper from one of my pockets. It had design for a shield on it.

“This seems simple enough. Seems like it fits more to your size and build but I think I can swing it for ponies. It seems to be heavy enough to protect from just about anything but light enough to swing in defense. And from how to the edge of the shield looks it can deal a nice bit of damage when you strike pony… Alright I can have these made for you before the games. Complete with magic protection.”

“Just like that you accept?”

“Well I do owe Jonagold a favor and it’s not like making a couple hundred shields to these kinds of specifications will be difficult. Heck if it was difficult then I wouldn’t be the best blacksmith in Equestria. Heck just wait a couple of minutes and I’ll have the first one ready for you.” He said gently pushing us out the door. We waited a minute before we heard the sounds of clanking from within the shop. Barely ten minutes went by before the door opened and something rolled out towards me. I stopped it and picked it up.

“There is the first one made especially for you. How’s it fit.” I picked it up and put it on my left arm. It fit like I had owned the shield for years. It covered from my thigh to the bottom of my shoulder.

“This is perfect…how am I supposed to pay you for this.”

“By using what I give ya to win the damned games. And maybe I’ll ask you for a favor too.”

“Sounds fair to me. What time can we expect them to be done?”

“Whenever you think your soldiers are ready for them.”

“Well then I’ll be back in a couple days then.” I said giving a short bow. Jonagold followed me and I handed my shield to him as we walked. “I’m gonna tell them about it today but I want to make sure at least someponies get through the first part of the training first.

“Do you think any group has managed to figure it out?”

“Probably not I’m expecting somepony to break and ask when we get back. We got back in around the same time it took us to walk to Brass Tack’s shop. And from what I could see there were plenty of ponies lying on the ground in pain.

“Spitfire sit rep.” I said walking over to the mare who was sweating a bit.

“Oh your back. They are staring to get it but I think you should take a look at the first group.” She said panting. Looking over I could see the group of ponies who had first volunteered. They were lying on the ground, battered, and slightly bruised.

“How many times have they gone?”

“I think it’s been just over fifty.”

I walked over to the group who was lying on the floor. “Still trying to get it I see.”

“Sir permission to speak?” said one stallion on the grounds.

“If you can spare the air soldier.”

“What’s the point of this? To get ourselves beat up and build character?”

“Honestly no you’re not doing the exercise the right way.”

“Excuse me sir?” he said managing to get to his feet. I could hear just a bit of anger in his voice.

“Your point in the exercise was to stop her from crossing your defense line. And every single time you charged her didn’t you and engaged her one on one didn’t you?”

“Yes sir.”

“At any point did you consult withy your teammates and work together to try and stop her together without moving.”

“Are you suggesting that we let her come to us?”

Now you’re getting it. I’ll give you a couple of seconds before the next attempt; spend it to talk a bit of strategy with your team but if I had to give some advice I’d say…” I leaned in to whisper something in his ear that I wanted only him to hear. After that I let him mull it over and walked to Swift. “Get ready Swift I think the fifty first time is the one.”

“Shame I was just starting to get a good sweat going.”

“Alright everypony eyes up here again.” I called out getting everyone’s attention. “You five ready to go?” I looked; they were now standing in a pyramid formation. Three in the back, and two in the front. I think they finally got the message.

“Ready and…” *TWEET* I watched as Swift charged again. This time she crossed the space without anyone coming at her. None of the other five ponies moved as she charged. Once she closed the gap the group dared to move. Swift hit the first two ponies in the group and moved about one more inch. And then she stopped moving. The five ponies worked in tandem and stopped her. And then while everyone was busy marveling in the fact they stopped her they missed one of the mares in the front hitting Swift in the face and knocking her to the ground.

Silence rang for awhile as no one said anything. The sound of clapping was the first thing people heard. It started with me and Swift joined in.

“Now you finally got it. That’s what I have been looking for. Jona the shield please.” I took the shield from Jona and held it so the crowd could see.

“This is going to be one of your instruments for fighting. Right now this is the only one. Through this training you will earn it. Learning to work together like this is the first step. If five of you can stop one really trained fighter imagine what five of you can do when ponies that aren’t as good as you charge you in a frenzy. Now everyone remember what just happened cause by the time the games come around all of you will be able to do that in unison.

From that point the rest of the week of training was a blur. Spears were thrust, blood was shed, and on occasion we broke a stallion or a mare to hard and some psychologist work was needed.

I woke up two hours early on the day of the games. I left the barracks and headed to the gym. The pre dawn air was crisp and cold. For me I felt I did more than a cup of coffee ever could. I had been practicing fighting with my gauntlets on; it always paid well to be prepared. I kept hitting the bag till someone interrupted me.

“Sorry to interrupt you Dan but it’s time.” I recognized Swift’s voice from behind me.

“Alright then I guess we find out if everything we’ve done is going to pay off.”

“You should be saying that it’s going to work period.”

“Just pre-show jitters. When we get in front of the big wigs I’ll be better. Is everypony assembled?”

“And waiting…oh and by the way everyone; myself included made a nice visual change to our armor just for you.”

“Oh really? This I gotta see. I walked out and looked at my group and what I saw surprised me.

“You ponies really do confuse me sometimes. Almost as much as I confuse you probably. Alright let’s head out.” Everyone grabbed their equipment and we headed to the stands that we stood at before the obstacle race started. It was where both groups would show off for the royalty and nobility.

As we came into view of the stands I heard a voice call out over a microphone. “And here comes Team B; who this year will be lead by not only a new edition to the guard but a new edition to Equestria itself! Dan the human! And with him comes his force of….oh wow ladies and gentle will you take a look at that.

We walked into the area; shields and spears with us. I had my full armor on and the blue lines on my helmet seemed to glow just a bit brighter. Behind me stood my group had put the glowing lines not only on their shields but also on their facial armor. We marched until I was in line with the leaders from Omega Squad. On the way up I looked at their forces. I saw multiple uniforms and a range of weapons.

“Well mares and stallions.” The voice of the loudspeaker spoke once again bringing my attention back to the stands. “Now that both of the teams are here let’s have some words from the princesses.

Princess Celestia walked up to a podium. She looked at the Team A and then over at my team. I could tell that something was on her mind but no was not the time to think about it.

“Soldiers, let it be known that we thank you for all you do. This is not for our entertainment but to make sure that you are on top of your games in case of times gone wrong. With the games today please show us what talent lies underneath.” There were cheers as she finished and her sister took her place.

“To our dear guards. We realize that for the more warrior type of pony. These times of peace may test you in ways unlike normal ponies. I can understand what is like to want to fight to hide your more true primal nature. These games are a way to let what you are hiding on the inside out.” I could have sworn she looked at me specifically as she talked. “Now do our team leaders have anything to say to us?” Luna looked down to us.

Shock Point stepped up and spoke for Team A. “Princesses and Ladies and Gentlestallions of the nobility we hope that our performance will show you the might and strength of the Equestrian Guard.” She stepped back and took in the minimal applause that was given.

I stood there for a second thinking about my words. I stepped up, dropped my helmet, and looked at the crowd. I saw faces look at me in wonder, enjoyment, and hatred. “Well I was so busy training my troops that I didn’t bother to prepare a speech so I think I’ll wing it.” I could here familiar voices laughing at my jokes. “This battle that we are about to fight…isn’t for you.” I pointed to the nobles in the crowd. “This battle is for us to show that we are not weak. We will show as a united group that nothing short of the princesses themselves will be able to strike us down!!! SPARTANS DO YOU AGREE!!!” I didn’t turn to my troops to see what they were going to say.

All in unison my group behind me shout “HOORAH!!!” Their chant silenced everything in the area. It was a minute before Princess Celestia got back up to speak again.

“Well what enthusiasm we have. Well with that done I suggest we start. Teams in just a short moment me and my sister will bring you…TO THE BATTLEFIELD!!!”

Author's Note:

AHA BACK well if you read my last blog you will know that i was at a convention and i got swag...i hope you liked this one...next chapter is the big fight which will last at least one or two chapters and then we will get back to normality??? yes i put question marks there for a reason...stay tuned and have fun.

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