• Published 24th Jan 2013
  • 21,260 Views, 1,879 Comments

My New Life in Equestria: Helping Has Its Ups and Downs - HAZESHIFT

Waking up in a tree usually doesn't mean its gonna be a good day...today on the other hand I find it to be the opposite...at least in the short run as i find myself in a world of ponies

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Epilogue 3: When a sword just falls from an interdimensional portal and imbeds itself in you floor

Epilogue 3: When a sword just falls from an interdimensional portal and embeds itself in you floor

Twilight Sparkle loved reading, it was near the top of her list of Things that relax and destress Twilight Sparkle. It was something she tried to do every day, and the only reason that it was “try” and not “do” was that when she had to save the world or help solve a friendship problem she knew that these kinds of things had to come before reading.


Even after getting married her husband never did anything to deter her from reading. “ Well one of us has to be the really smart one,” he would always joke to her and to other ponies whenever in the rare chance that it came up. And also when they were in private he would tell her “Plus when you get in that right reading mode you look so adorable and comfy that you make the perfect pillow,” and that always had a tendency to make her blush and sometimes let him off the hook for some of his shenanigans.


She tended to do that a little more than she probably should but hey, just because she was a Princess didn’t mean she couldn’t have a harmless vice. Even though if the nobility knew, which she thought they might have considering some past events, they would scoff and say things in hushed whispers like they normally did while they looked down their noses at her in secret. She had already earned some of their ire when she decided to marry a human.


Well, it’s not like Dan was fully human anymore. After that business with Tirek almost four years ago, Dan had apparently given a job by what she had come to call and know as a Multiversal Deity. He was something of an anomaly now. He could transform into a pony with his magic just like how she could turn into what was basically a human. But she had been able to do that with magic and Dan hadn’t been able to do that until he had met Faust. She wondered if she should study a sample of his DNA and if there was anything different with it she could write a whole new book about it, which she could then read.


And reading said new book would probably distract her from whatever was going on now that was distracting from reading an old favorite book of hers. And everything would end up culminating in one full circle since she was reading a book about her husband which would de-stress her from current distraction which in turn was being caused by her husband.

Although Twilight had to make a mental note that Dan was technically only one-half of the distraction. The other half being her new niece Flurry Heart. With a sigh, Twilight lifted her eyes from the page, closed the book, and with a small smile looked up from her position to where her husband and niece were. Dan was laying down on some pillows only a few feet from her while Flurry Heart was sitting comfortably on his stomach, her little smile combined with her excited baby babbling and unfocused limb movement was as adorable as it had been since she Twilight had first laid eyes on her. Normally she would take this as just usual activity since she had seen Dan act this way with Flurry before but she noticed he was giggling a little more than usual. It hadn’t taken Twilight very long into their relationship to notice that when he was giggling like that, there was something afoot.

“Ok you two, what’s going on?” She said getting up from her spot to walk over to them wondering about the repetitive noises she had heard.

“Oh hey Twi. Going on? What do you mean I'm just playing catch with little ol’ Flurry here,” Dan told her as he reached forward and scratched behind one of Flurry’s ears which Twilight assumed Flurry like since her babbling increased and she leaned into the scratches.

“Uh, it didn’t exactly sound like that. And if so where’s the ball?” Twilight took a quick look around just to make sure she hadn’t overlooked a ball.

“Different way of using the word ‘catch’, watch,” Dan said as he then grabbed flurry heart and then in one motion pushed upwards launching Flurry Heart into the air.

“WWWHHHHEEEEEE!” Flurry trilled as she flew upwards and slowly came to a stop. As she hit her apex and started to come down her wings flared out. “POMF!” The little wings made an audible sound as her descent slowed to a crawl. She drifted down and then “Puh!” Dan exhaled as Flurry fall came to a stop and she landed on his stomach and then giggled along with Flurry Heart.

“See?” he asked, his smile a direct contrast to the nonplussed look Twilight was giving him.

“Yeah, i think it’s just about time for a nice…and safe..er story time. Doesn’t that sound nice Flurry? Do you want to hear a story from Auntie Twilight?” Twilight leaned in a gave FLurry A nuzzle which sent the foal into another giggle fit. “I’ll take that as a yes” Twilight said triumphantly as she gently floated Flurry Heart off of Dan’s stomach and onto her back, all the while giving Dan a bit of a smug look.

“To be fair I think she’s still at the point where she will giggle and clap at just about anything still. Hey Flurry?” he told Twilight and then called out to his niece who turned around from her position on Twilight’s back looking to see who had called her. “Antidisestablishmentarianism,” he said smiling at Flurry who took about all for two seconds to think about what was said before she started laughing, clapping, and bouncing at what her uncle had just said.

“That...that means nothing...maybe she just likes keeping her state churches secure and free from the meddling of government,” Twilight said sputtering under the withering gaze Dan gave her. “Still not stopping story time,” Twilight said as she continued her walk away from Dan once again to the other side of the room, the promise of story time or more likely, the simple promise of some activity having something to do with her set Flurry into her normal routine of giggling, smiling, burbling, and bouncing.

As Twilight crossed the room With Flurry, Dan watched them and noted how adorable the whole scene looked. The scene was then interrupted when a portal opened on their ceiling in the distance between Dan and Twilight. Neither of them had time to react before an enormous sword flew out of the portal and embedded itself into the floor. Twilight and Dan just stared at the sight unsure if that was it or if there was more to come. When the portal the sword came from sealed shut the two relaxed and moved closer to inspect the sword.

“Well, this is...different.” Twilight put it mildly as she looked at the sword which looked to be about the size of Dan almost. Another strange thing about it was that it was on fire, not as if something was burning it but that the blade radiated a flame that somehow wasn’t trying to burn down their house.

“That's...a correct statement,” Dan said as he got up and moved closer to the sword. Inspecting it. “For some reason, this seems familiar…”

“Have you seen this in any world you’ve been to so far?” Twilight asked as she studied the sword taking notes with her magic while simultaneously making sure Flurry Heart didn’t get any closer to the flames radiating off the blade of the sword

“No but I've felt like I've seen this in a book somewh-” Dan said as he reached out and grasped the hilt and his mind was immediately assaulted by visions. Legions of giant armored men, demons, monster, chaos and a golden city wherein the innermost sanctum was a giant golden throne.

“-n?...an?...Dan?” Dan became aware that Twilight was calling his name as the visions faded away.

“Ok, I’m sure I know where this sword came from now,” Dan said as he managed to yank the sword from the small crevice it created in the floor. “And I’m pretty sure I know who sent it to...although I’m not exactly sure why.

“Why’s that?” Twilight asked as she struggled a little bit to keep Flurry from touching the sword, as she was using all her little infant power to try and wiggle closer to it.

“Well considering he’s mostly...somewhat...kinda dead,” Dan said somewhat uncertain of what he said.

“What?” Twilight asked deadpanned.

“It’s complicated. Honestly, I don’t think he even has this sword anymore...gave it to one of his sons… “ Dan started and the trailed off as he retrieved Elise and Jarvis from their paces on a shelf. He opened Elise and after a couple of hand gestures a portal opened up. Twilight didn’t like the feel of this portal though, through it she could sense some weird magic coming from it as well as a sense of just general violence.

“Are you sure about this...can’t you just throw the sword in there?” She asked as Dan found a way to strap the sword to his back.

“Well yeah I could, but this shouldn’t fall into the wrong hands. I think I'll just pop in there, make sure this is where-” Dan started to say and at that exact moment Flurry Heart broke free of Twilight’s grasp. She flew forward a bit and wanted to make a turn towards the sword but in being so young her flight control of tight turns wasn’t good yet and so instead of making the turn she simply flew into the portal. Both Dan and Twilight just watched in shock as their niece disappeared. They stared in shock for all of two seconds before both dived into the portal. The library was empty and quiet except for the gentle hum of the portal which collapsed a minute after Twilight and Dan lept through.


2 Days later…

“Flurry! Twily! Dan! We’re here!” Cadence sang as she entered the library followed by Shining Armor who was carrying some very full bags stuffed with souvenirs from their vacation. Most of it was for Flurry but there were a few things for Twilight and Dan.

“Flurry, mommy and daddy are here!” Shining said happily as he set the bags down, wanting to see his precious little girl. When nothing greeted them but silenced they were a little disconcerted but still remained cheerful. “Maybe it’s nap time,?” shining postulated looking at the clock noting that if Twilight had made any kind of schedule it would contain time for napping, most likely for Flurry’s and her’s and Dan’s sake. The two of them walked around trying to find any sign of them but when nothing came up they started to get a little more worried.

“It’s not like them to forget when we said we would be back...I wonder where they are?” Cadence asked, missing the fact that she was not snuggling her daughter that she hadn’t seen for a couple of days.

“Well, I’m sure it’s no place we have to worry about. They wouldn’t think about-” Shining started to reassure his wife and was interrupted as a portal manifested itself in front of them. As they looked three objects came from inside and landed in front of them before the portal collapsed. As they blinked away the brightness from their vision standing in front of them was Flurry, Dan, and Twilight. Both of them looked over the three starting with Dan as he drew the most looks for how he now looked. He was wearing some weird kind of armor of a very heavy blue which had many weird and different golden symbols. BUt that wasn’t the biggest thing they were looking at on his armor, it was more the fact that there were multiple scratches, hole, dents and what looked like uncleaned blood stains on it. When they looked to Twilight, things didn’t look any better either. She was wearing various articles of clothing with somewhat more violent looking symbols and like dan as well she was bandaged in places and looked like she had been put through a ringer.

So it was with much relief to the now worried parents that when they looked at Flurry HEart she was...totally fine. Not a hair out of place...well not quite. There were some hairs out of place only because they were being pushed down by a crown of laurels that at a glance looked to be made out of solid gold and somehow slightly glowing.

“Oh Shining, Cadence you guys are here...has it been two days here?” Twilight said and asked nervously as she went and hugged her brother and sister-in-law.

“Uh yeah...how long have you guys been away in another universe?” Shining asked returning the hug but still slightly worried about where they had come from.

“Don’t ask,” Dan said curtly as he collapsed into a chair and used his magic to fetch him a glass of water from the kitchen. “Something came into our universe and i was just going to return it, but someone-” he motioned to Flurry Heart. “Got a little too excited and accidentally jumped through the portal. A whole grand adventure ensued and we managed to save the day...for a little bit at least. There still are some problems they need to work out there.”

“Ha! You’re telling me.” Twilight said abruptly. “ But don’t worry, everything went mostly fine. Nothing happened to Flurry.” Twilight told SHining and looked over to Flurry who was now nuzzling into Cadence who held her.

“Oh well, that’s-”

“Nothing except for the fact that she became the warboss of a band of Orks, and she managed to make for unbelievably powerful chaos gods basically cry, and she revied and semi-dead semi-alive godlike emperor through the power of love and cuteness, and now has a literal legion of super powerful, super armored, and super weaponized space marines sworn to her fealty under her now apparent sainthood and can command if she ever desired,” Dan cut of Shining with a bunch of information that terrified and also made him proud of Flurry at the same time.

“Oh...yeah...there was that two...oh also that space marines accept you as semi- commanders since you are her parents!” Twilight tried to brighten up the conversation but it didn’t work as she had intended.

“Well...that’s...interesting…” Cadence was the first to speak, her words carefully picked. Dan and Twilight couldn’t tell if she was still shocked or was on the verge of angrily yelling at them. “Well, at least Flurry is ok.” She said calmly and Dan ad Twilight started to exhale.

“BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!!! WWWWWAAAAAGGGGGHHHH!!!!!” Flurry suddenly shouted, surprising everyone. Shining and Cadence looked at her in shock, Twilight cringed, and Dan just stared for a minute before he burst out laughing.

“Well, i’m guessing you’ll want to head home now so I'll just-” Twilight started to back away but was stopped when she found herself wrapped in Cadence’s magical glow. Slowly she was dragged forward and then seated next to Cadence who looked down at her.

“Everything.Now” She commanded to Twilight who sighed and then started to regale her and Shining about their adventure in the Imperium of Man.

Author's Note:

This was actually going to be a completely new fic set in a 40k universe that was somewhat canonical and somewhat noncanonical by mixing real 40k lore with silliness form the youtube series If the Emperor had A Text to Speech Device from Bruva Alfabusa. But after reading into the actual lore of 40k going on, I realized it there was a lot of ground to cover with how some events played out. So I decided to make it a little extra chapter that I sometimes do. enjoy!

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