Chapter 28: First step: Party Hard, Second step: Don’t think about the hangover…
Chapter 28: First step: Party Hard, Second step: Don’t think about the hangover…
“So Dan are you in need of another healing spell?” Celestia asked me after we all finished laughing at Pinkie’s game of charades.
“Well. I believe that...” I said as I stood up. When I hit my full standing position I felt my body gave me feedback. My back cracked in multiple areas, my arms went limp, my knees locked my legs into position and the pain in my chest caused my upper half to lean forward almost to the point where gravity would force me to fall over. “Yeah I think I’m going to take you up on your offer for that Celestia.” I said trying my best to stay standing.
“Well then hold still. You were unconscious last time this was cast so it was a bit easier. You may feel some tingling.” I saw her horn light up and the glow extend towards my chest. When it connected I could feel energy surge within me like I had just been given a shot of adrenaline. It continued and spread up into my neck and down into my arms and legs.
It was like being wrapped in a nice hot towel. Not too hot or too warm but just enough that it was soothing to the touch. As quick as it had come the warmth left me and it was replaced by the feeling that my whole body was asleep.
“Ah, pins and needles!” I said as every little movement I made me feel like a million tiny doctors were prodding me with a million little needles that couldn’t pierce my skin. I slowly moved my body trying to reduce that feeling until it went away. I rotated my neck and my eyes caught sight of the crater I put in the wall; along with three shapes that were slowly rising within it.
Still stretching I started walking over towards it. “Dan what are you doing?” I heard Twilight call from behind me.
“I just have to finish something. Then we can all go party.” I said walking towards the wall and the three ponies who were helping each other out from the wreckage. I stopped a couple of feet from them and sat down. Not saying a word to them yet.
It took them awhile but finally Shock Point got fed up with me just staring at them and broke the silence. “Yes we lost. Is there anything else we can do to make you happy?”
“Do you think that’s the only reason I am over here?”
“Other than to gloat and throw it in our faces?”
“We were never on different sides. All of us are part of the guard, there’s no reason for me to do that. The reason all of this happened was not for me to show you up but to give you a hint at what you were doing wrong.”
“Well perhaps you can stop being all wise and mysterious and just get to the point!” Wind Shear said as Rock Smash was prying him from the indent he made in the wall.
“…well fine if you wanna go like that. You’re setting a bad example for leaders. You classify yourselves as the best and then put down all others that don’t make that mark based solely on limited knowledge. Did you see how hard my side fought? I saw mares and stallions tap into reserves of strengths that even I didn’t know they had. If you want to call yourself the best that also means being the best in raising others towards greater heights. THAT’S what you should be doing. If you want to call yourselves the best bring ponies up, give them something to strive towards and know that if they work hard and show every last ounce of ability they have that it will be what makes them accepted. Not because they don’t meet your first impression guidelines.” I let it all out hoping that my words made a good amount of success.
The three of them after checking themselves for injuries and dusting each other off sat there for a while thinking about what I had to say.
“He’s right.” Rock Smash said first surprising the other two. He was usually never the first to speak. “We started Omega Team out on the right hoof but somewhere along the line we just wanted to be the strongest in the worst possible definition. I guess getting our asses handed to us is the final nail in that coffin.” His two partners and I stared at him as he remained silence after those few sentences.
“Okay Rock I agree with what you’re saying, whole heartedly I do.” Wind Shear started. “but I think we might have to check if you have any brain damage because that’s the most I have ever heard you speak in like…well ever!” he was genuinely surprised. The two of them locked eye contact after that while I looked at Shock Point.
“So can we declare this over, shake on it, be friends, and go party because I’m not sure how much longer Pinkie Pie can be maintained. I pointed and looked over my shoulder. Pinkie pie was standing completely still just staring at us like she was taking the whole scene in for a painting. It frightened me so I tried to settle things as fast as possible.
“So what do ya say?” I said holding out my hand. Shock Point looked at me then to her teammates and then back to me with a smile on her face.
“I guess we can call that a deal.” she said placing her hoof in my hand and shaking. I could hear the girls behind us cheering a bit as I solved another problem that I had technically started.
“You know Dan you can be a very serious type of stallion when you want to. It’s a very… enduring quality.”
“Hey now watch it soldier, I’ve got a marefriend now. And if you remember what I just did when I got a little angry imagine what she will do.” I turned and waved Twilight over and as I finished talking.
“She’s a lucky mare.” Shock Point said as Twilight came closer.
“I like to think that I’m the lucky one.” I said back.
“Is everything alright now Dan? Pinkie is getting kinda…proddy.” She said taking a moment to rub her neck a bit.
“Don’t you mean pus...?” I started to say but I looked up and saw that Pinkie Pie had actually pulled a stick out of somewhere and was literally prodding everypony including the princesses towards the exit. “…I see…well then let’s get a move on.”
Shock Point walked quicker to catch up with her two friends and me and Twilight stayed a bit behind the group. I slowed down my pace so Twilight could keep up.
“So…” she said.
“So…” I returned not sure of what she wanted to speak of.
“Does this mean that you’re going to come back to Ponyville after this is over?” she asked.
“Well it would seem like the right thing to do. But I think I have to talk it over with Celestia and your brother considering that I’m still in the guard.
“Well Celestia we should talk to but I wouldn’t worry about Shining. I have ways of making him see things my way.” The end of her sentence sounded a bit creepy.
“You are talking about making Cadence get him to do whatever you want right?”
“Of course… What did you think I meant?” she gave me a confused look.
“…nothing. Oh and by the way, are we at that point in a relationship we both of us are going to start using “we” to refer to ourselves.”
“Why is that a bad thing? I read it in a book one night before everything happened and I thought it was the normal thing to do but if you don’t...”
“Twilight stop I get what you’re saying. I don’t mind it, it’s just that I’ve never really had it happen to me before. Being in a relationship, having a girlfriend…or marefriend in this case, being in love. So much is new to me. And now add to the fact that I also have my own magic.”
“Oh that’s right I completely forgot. Well not forget I put it on a mental checklist because I thought it would be better to get some other issues out of the way first. But since you brought it up. It’s amazing that you have magic now, I didn’t think you would be able to harness it. I can’t wait to get back the library and study it. Oh and you’ll need lessons on how to use it as well! I’ll have to put you through your own magic kindergarten.” Twilight started doing little Pinkie Pie like hops as her excitement built up. Slowly and surely she started jumping higher and higher.
“Ok that’s all well and good Twilight.” I said catching her in mid-air, tucking her under my arm. “I’m looking forward to all that but, let’s look forward to the celebration ahead. I think that you might also see a different side of me that you haven’t seen yet.”
“Oh what side would that be?” she asked struggling against my grip.
“Well if there is alcohol; it will be my drunk side specifically.”
Eventually after walking for a couple more minutes we reached the main parade ground of the camp. Many ponies were already starting the celebration. Ponies were drinking and having conversations with one another. Twilight and I arrived at the stage where Princess Celestia had started this whole thing off. Celestia, Luna, and the leaders of Omega squad were waiting for me at the stairs to the stage.
“Well now that you two have made it we can get underway.” Celestia said as I put Twilight down.
“Oh, sorry about that Princess. We just needed some time.”
“Twilight she’s joking. So anyway, why are you waiting for me? Do I get to make a speech or something.”
“Actually Dan yes you do, as the leader of the winning team you get to close the ceremonies with whatever words you see fit. But please try to make it something nice.”
“Alright Celestia I think I might have something in mind. Hey you three come up with me.” I said getting Omega Squads attention. Together all four of us walked up on stage. When Ponies from my team saw my a wave of cheers went out but quickly turned to boo’s when Shock Point, Rock Smash, and Wind Shear stepped up behind me.
“Hey Jarvis is the mic up?” I asked my helmet.
“Yes sir at one hundred percent capacity. Will it be loud enough for you sir?”
“Yeah that’ll be plenty Jarvis, thanks.” I looked into the crowd for a while before I spoke again. “HEY!!!” I shouted quieting the crowd quickly. “Now I don’t want to hear anymore booing from anypony. I and the Leaders of Team B have talked it out and now we are all on good terms. Now tonight I don’t want to hear any talk of winning or losing. The ponies you fought were still your fellow guardsponies. Instead I want ponies to be talking about how well each side fought. This is to be a celebration of how everypony performed. Now before I continue can everypony grab a mug of hard cider…and somepony grab me one too.” It took a couple of minutes because of the sheer number of ponies but eventually everyone got one.
“Now before I continue...” I said before taking a small taste of the cider. “Ooh boy is that good I’m gonna be having a lot of this tonight.” I said to the crowd; getting some laughs in return. “Alright then where was I…? Oh yeah, everypony raise your mugs.” I saw hoof after hoof rise into the air. Looking behind me I could see the princesses, Shining, Cadence, the girls, and Twilight doing the same thing.
“I’d like to thank everypony here for everything they did. It doesn’t matter if I fought with you or against you, I will consider you an ally. Let us give thanks to everything our family, friends, and fellow guards have done for us so that we can be standing here after a good fight. And let us give thanks to anything I might have forgotten to say. NOW DRINK!” I shouted to everyone and began to chug down the cider. Out of the corner of my eye I could see ponies doing the same.
After finishing the drink I placed the mug on the closest table and said one last thing. “Alright then everypony, with that out of the way LET”S PARTY!” I said as loud as I could before I was drowned out by cheers.
Turning around to I walked over to the group. “Well that wasn’t as good as I usually do but I think it served its purpose.
“Well you’re right about one thing, it wasn’t your most grand speech but I’ve seen plenty worse in my life.” Celestia said to me as I came back to the group. “By the way Dan, am I correct in assuming that since you and Twilight have now made up that you will want to be going back to Ponyville?”
“Well I do want to but I still don’t want to leave the squad like that. I mean I know it’s only a short train ride and now that I have magic which may let me be able to fly, it will be easier, but I still feel like something would be off.. Do you know what I mean Celestia?” I asked her.
She looked off into the distance for a while before a small smile broke onto her face. “Well Dan I think I might have an idea that will work. Why don’t you leave it up to me.” She said her smile turning a bit sly.
“Why do I have the feeling that this is a little nefarious plan of yours?”
“Nefarious? Me? Never.” She said in a mocking tone before walking off into the crowd.
I walked about shaking hooves with other guards and letting say whatever they felt like to me. I had a couple of more drinks before I finally found Twilight and the girls again.
“Oh, Dan, there you are!” Twilight said as I came up to her. She was busy talking to Swift Gale about me, her cheeks seemed a little flushed.
“Oh boy you two are talking about me, which point?” I asked as I grabbed another mug of cider.
“Oh Swift was just telling me about the part where you two were sparring and she accidently…well I was about to find out when you came over. So what accidently happened Swift?” She looked to my second in command who was now blushing herself.
“Oh I…well you see I… um how can I put this gently…” Swift was trying to find some way to say it to my marefriend.
“She panicked when I went for a grab and touched her flank and she kicked me in the balls knocking me unconscious.” I said in one breath before I started downing my sixth mug of hard cider.
“WHAT!!!” Twilight shouted doing double takes in between Swift and me.
“It was a training accident I said that I was sorry. And it’s not like it crippled him in anyway.” She said with a sheepish smile trying to talk a shocked Twilight down.
“B-but you…and him…FLANKS!?!?” she kept sputtering her words.
“Twilight babe it’s okay like she said it was an accident let it go.” I said after finishing the mug and laying my arm across her withers.
“Oh fine…” she said slumping down in defeat. “Wait a minute... “babe”? Um Dan how many ciders have you had to drink?” her energy was renewed as she looked back at me.
“Um… I think this makes six?” I said looking at the mug in my hands.
“SIX!!!” both mares turned and looked at me with surprise.
“Alright now before both of you start sayin that it’s too much remember one thing. I’m a little more than twice your sizes so any reference you have on ponies drinking alcohol doesn’t readily apply to me.” I said to them as coherently as I could. I was about to continue when I spied something going on in the background which caught my interest.
“And second look over at the dessert table over there I think something awesome is going to happen.” The two looked to where I mentioned and were hopefully seeing what I was. Every couple of seconds a hoof came out from under the tablecloth and grabbed one dessert and pulled it back under. Normally I would assume that it was just Pinkie Pie but after I got a good look I could see that one hoof that came up sometimes was black and blue. Even in my slightly buzzed state I could tell that Pinkie Pie and Flintlock Spark were under the table and soon it would probably lead to something funny.
I encouraged everyone to watch as more and more desserts disappeared. Soon there was only one cupcake left on the table. Slowly both hooves appeared on opposite sides of the table and began searching. It took them a minute before both of them found the cupcake, each of them landing a hoof on opposite sides. Each slowly began pulling and when they felt tugs at either side the battle began.
They both struggled to take home their prize each pulling so hard that the other pony came out from under the table. But then with some kind of unknown strength Pinkie pulled so hard that Flintlock came over the table. With this Pinkie went under the table and came out the other side. And this didn’t happened once though this happened a couple of times so fast that it looked like there was a solid ring on pink and neon blue circling the table.
After a couple of seconds of this they both crashed onto the table on their stomachs facing each other the cupcake still in mint condition landing between their muzzles. Both of them opened their eyes to see their opponents. And while Pinkie Pie still had the battle like look in her eyes, Flintlock eye looked a little different. They were more like he had just heard the question and answer to everything in the universe.
“Oh I’m sorry I didn’t know you were trying to get this cupcake.” He said smiling at her
“Whaddya mean you didn’t know? We’ve been fighting over it for minutes now.” Pinkie Pie seemed puzzled.
“Oh have we now? I guess I forgot once I saw your beautiful blue eyes.” He said trying to put on a dashing smile. I had been in the middle of my eighth cider when he said that and I did a glorious spit take. Me, Twilight, the girls, and everypony in my squad started laughing at what Flintlock had just said.
I kept laughing it up until I felt something tap my shoulder. Turning around I saw that Princess Luna was the one who tapped my shoulder and Spitfire was standing next to her. “Dan we have a proposition for you.” Luna said.
“Ok I’m sober enough to hear you out.” I said with as straight of a face as I could.
“Ok then? Well I was talking with Flight Captain Spitfire and…”
“Is that really your title Spitfire?” I cut Luna off.
“Um yes? How many mugs of cider have you had Dan?” Spitfire asked with a worried look.
“Well that’s awesome…and to answer your question, not enough. So what is it you would like Princess?”
“Well Dan we were hoping that you would do us the honor of playing some of that new music of yours. But if you’re too inebriated then…”
“WELL EEEEXXCCCUUSSSEEEE ME PRINCESS! But I’m fine enough to do anything…and in fact I actually have a song in mind. You set up the instruments and I’ll do the whole music thing. Go into my head and you’ll see what you need.”
Minutes later I was up on a stage with my guitar strapped on and my tenth mug of cider in my hands. Luna was back on the drums and some other ponies had been chosen for the other instruments.
“ATTENTION EVERYPONY!!!’ I said into the microphone catching the attention of the crowd. It had died in size a bit since some ponies took their leave already so they could be back to their post and positions tomorrow, but that didn’t mean the energy had died down. “Alright now that I have your attention let me just finish this drink.” I said before chugging down my tenth cider.
“Okay now let me ask you a question people. Are you having fun tonight? Because if you are, then I have an awesome song for you. ARE YOU READY!!!” the cheering they gave me was enough of an answer. “Ok I’ll take that as a maybe but I’m still going to do this thing anyway.” I gave Luna the signal to start and she started with the drums and was followed by a pony on the Piano who was then followed by me playing my guitar.
HEY HEY HEY!!!
HEY HEY HEY!!!
HEY HEY HEY!!!
HEY hey HEY hey HEY hey HEY hey YEAH!!!
When we heard that the world was a way to go
We took the stupid thing to a whole other level OH!
When they saw what we did to it all below
we took the stupid thing and we asked it a yes or no
i took it to the ground i took it to the ground
with a one two three it was down the count
i took it to the floor they raised my stupid hand and said
pay no attention to the stupidest champion
we want fun but we want something more
you've got to lay down on it
we want you so get up off the floor...
don't ever lay down on it
we don't want to ever live or die...!!!
it's going to be hard but we can make it today
You've got to HEY! hey! HEY! hey! take it to play
We want fun! And you better believe it
We want fun! you do it or leave it
We want fun! No you don't understand
You got to HEY! hey! HEY! hey! Make your demands
We want fun! And you never can see it!
We want fun! So you take it, or leave it
We want fun and you might as well face it
we wanna have fun and we want to get WASTED...!!!
When we heard that time wasn't ours to Kill
We took the stupid thing then we gave it a real thrill
When they saw we were back on the map again
mom And dad started getting real sad again
we want fun but we want something more
you've got to lay down on it
we want you so get up off the floor...
don't ever lay down on it
we don't want to ever live or die...!!!
it's going to be hard but we can make it today
You've got to HEY! hey! HEY! hey! take it to play
We want fun! And you better believe it
We want fun! you do it or leave it
We want fun! No you don't understand
You got to HEY! hey! HEY! hey! Make your demands
We want fun! And you never can see it!
We want fun! So you take it, or leave it
We want fun and you might as well face it
Where are fun and we want to get WASTED!!!
...
We Want Fun More Fun More Fun
Yeah what do we Want what do we want
We Want Fun More Fun More Fun
Yeah what do we Want what do we want
We Want Fun More Fun More Fun
Yeah What Do We Want We Know What We Want!!!
We want fun and you might as well face it
Where wanna have fun and we want to get
WASTED...!!!
I belted out the last lyrics before falling flat on my back. Within seconds Twilight was looking down at me. “Ok Dan I think that you’ve had enough to drink.”
“ok I think you’re right on this one Twilight help me back up so I can tell the crowd something.” She gave me a couple nudges so I could get to my feet.
“Alright everypony my marefriend says that I’ve had enough to drink so I think I got to stop for tonight.” A little bit of booing from the crowd made me a bit defensive. “Hey hey none of that now.” I said before I reached over to Twilight.
“Dan what are you, ahh!” she squealed as I picked her up and showed her to the crowd.
“Crowd meet Twilight Sparkle, Twilight meet the crowd.” She made a small wave with a sheepish smile on her face. “She’s the mare I’m in love with and I’m going to take her word on some things. And I dare any of you to try and come up here and tear us apart… Actually I’m making it a challenge. Come up here and FIGHT ME FOR TWILIGHT SPARKLE’S LOVE AND AFFECTION I”LL TAKE ON ALL CHALLENGERS!!!”
For a while all was silent besides Twilight telling me to put her down but then a voice rang out behind me. “I’ll challenge you for Twiley.” I turned to Find Shining in a fighting stance. He looked like he had also had a bit too much to drink.
“Shiney what are you doing! Don’t embarrass yourself like this!”
“Don’t worry Twilight it’s fine for your brother to defend your honor.” I said as I sat her down, she started to move towards her brother but Cadence blocked her with an outstretched hoof.
“Don’t get in their way Twilight.” She said trying to keep a smile on her face.
“But they are about to do something completely stupid!”
“That’s what happens when Men with big egos have too much to drink. Besides your friends don’t seem to mind.” She said pointing to the other five girls who appeared to be taking bets.
“GIRLS!!!”
“It’s okay Twilight.” Cadence kept trying to calm her. “It’s only a little fun…plus I already bet on your brother.”
“CADENCE!!!” Twilight last shout was loud. After that I focused on Shining.
“Alright then Shining Armor the fight you’ve been waiting for, first I’ll take care of you and then move on to the rest…oh hold on I thought of a way to make this more interesting. OH AND BY THE WAY EVERYONE! IF YOU DON’T WANT TWILIGHT AS A PRIZE THAN INSTEAD YOU CAN TRADE IT IN FOR A FAVOR FROM EITHER PRINCESS!!!” that got the crowd warmed up. And it was the last thing I remembered clearly that night.
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Drunken shenanigans are best shenanigans!
ugh..
hilarious though 
too much to drink...
NOT ENOUGH
I wish I could relate to the liking of alcohol
none the less, good chapter
Zelda refrence? XD
What was the sing near the end my phone won't play the link
I love the Zelda reference
Place u bets place u bets lol good I laugh my ass off after I read that bit
Nice Zelda reference. I need to watch that again at some point.
We Want FUN!
Please fandom doesn't call you trolesia for nothing