• Published 24th Jan 2013
  • 21,263 Views, 1,879 Comments

My New Life in Equestria: Helping Has Its Ups and Downs - HAZESHIFT

Waking up in a tree usually doesn't mean its gonna be a good day...today on the other hand I find it to be the opposite...at least in the short run as i find myself in a world of ponies

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Chapter 23: Oh IT...IS...ON!

Chapter 23: Oh IT…IS…ON!

After the guitar lessons the rest of that week flew bye and by the time I realized I was waking up to the start of the week where Jonagold said some kind of event was going to happen. I woke up and noticed that everyone was not moving as fast as they would during a normal day.

“Hey why is everyone moving so slowly? Don’t we have something to do today?” I asked no one in particular.

“Not yet Private. We don’t have to do anything but relax and prepare until noon. That is when the event is gonna happen.” Jonagold told me as he help set up the breakfast table.

“Any chance you are going to tell me what the event is?” I had been wondering for a little while.

“Well I guess I can tell ya. The event today is the all guard obstacle course performance test. It shows your progress over last year and then afterwards we get to the bigger event which is the annual Equestrian War Games.”

“War Games? Like as in mock battle?”

“You bet your behind. Every year all the guards from across Equestria gather and during a selection and sign up. There are two teams fight out in a scenario of one team’s choosing. From it can come promotions and such but mostly what you get is the glory.”

“Huh okay that sounds interesting. So how exactly are teams…?” I started to ask but a knock on barracks door interrupted me.

“Ah that must be our guests, Private Dan could you get that?” Jona said to me. Wondering who could be here at this hour I walked over an opened it.

“Welcome to Alpha Squad barracks howOOF!!!” I said as something hit me in the stomach. It happened two more times after that in quick succession; and since I wasn’t wearing my armor it hurt quite a lot. Once I hit the floor I was greeted to some voices that I hadn’t heard in quite awhile.

“DAN!!!” I heard three voices shout at me. Looking upward from my position on the floor I saw the face of the Cutie Mark Crusaders staring at me with huge smiles on their faces.

“Hey girls how have you been?”


I couldn’t find any words to say anything as Applebloom ranted from atop my chest and her friends did nothing to stop her. After she stopped to take a breath I managed to hear a snicker coming from behind me. Looking back I saw Flintlock Spark trying to hold in some giggles. I wanted to say something but then Applebloom hopped off my chest and slowly walked over to him.

“Is something funny Specialist Spark? I’m talking to a friend who I haven’t seen in awhile and you think there is something to laugh at?” she stopped less than a foot away from him and stared straight up into his face. I could see a little fear on Flintlock face as he looked down at the filly.

“I believe I asked you a question Specialist Spark.” Her tone was cold and her face showed the same.

“Ma’am?” Flintlock voice waivered.

“I asked you if you thought something was funny... I want an answer Specialist.”

“Nothing. Nothing was funny ma’am it was only a slip I didn’t mean it I’M SORRY!!!” he broke at the end and fell forward to the floor and put his head to the floor in apology. Applebloom held her icy stare as she slowly walked to the prone form of. When she stopped walking she was standing directly over Flintlock’s head. She stood there for awhile before her scowl melted and was replaced by her normal smile.

“Ah I’m just playing with you Flintlock; Dad told me I should be all hard on one of you and you just happened to be the lucky winner.” She said patting him on the head. The room stayed quiet for a minute before Jonagold laughed as loud as he could while he picked his youngest daughter up.

“AHHAHAHAH!!! Now that’s how you do it. Just like I told you Applebloom. You did great; now where’s your sister?”

Looking up from my place on the floor again I looked to the doorway and saw some familiar silhouettes.

“Well well girls look who we have here. And as usual he’s on the ground. How’s it been partner?” Applejack was the first to step inside the barracks. She was followed by Rarity, then Spitfire, and lastly was Crystal Clear.

“Uh hi girls…how’s it been?” I said as I managed to sit up after Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo looking at the four mares.

“Oh you mean how has it been going since you got in a fight with your marefriend, left the town and left us to clean it up, and then joined the guard to fix whatever masculine problems that you might have.” Rarity showed just how much she missed me with her sarcasm and wit which caused everyone to laugh.

“Ok I deserve that. I totally deserve that.” I said getting to my feet again.

“Oh you deserve much more than that big guy.” Spitfire came over and nudged me. But considering the events that you are about to go through and how we may see you get beaten up a little I think that we can put aside or mare fury and wait a couple of days.” The smile on Spitfire’s face showed me that she was involved in this matter as well. I could hear bits of laughter coming from the whole room.

“Ok so Applejack I understand coming cause her father is in the guard. Spitfire you’re in the guard as well because of the Wonderbolts. Rarity probably came because Sweetie wanted to come. So Crystal besides the fact that I haven’t seen you in awhile; what brings you here?” I said trying to figure out everything here.

“Oh well my boss heard through the wire that a certain human was going to be in the guard’s yearly war game. And since I am your media liaison I get to come here and watch the festivities.” She said with a happy tone.

“Crystal Clear look at you. Started as a newbie reporter and now an official media liaison to a new species. You’re moving up in the world; I hope they upgraded your pay because you’re trying to keep up with me.”

“Wait you’re THE Crystal Clear?” I heard a voice say from across the room. I turned to see Scribble Page making his way over. “Wow it’s nice to meet you; oh sorry I forgot to introduce myself I’m Page Scribble WAIT! No no I meant I’m Scribble Page, I’m a fan of your writing it is very well done.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah I like to edit pieces of writing in my spare time and after reading your articles I really couldn’t find anything to fix it was a great read.” Scribble seemed to be love struck to me.

“Oh thank you. No one has complimented my writing like that before.” She said as a blush crept its way onto her cheeks and she looked away smiling.

“Um would you…. I mean one day do you think you would like to.” And now scribble started to lose it as he tried to ask something of the mare. Luckily I was close by to read the situation.

“Hey maybe you two should get coffee sometime and talk about writing and editing. With both your skills it could make for some interesting conversation.” I said nonchalantly as I walked past them. I noticed out of the corner of my eyes that both of them jump and started speaking faster than I could process. I think they agreed on their little “date”.

“So I see you’re still the same helping soul as ever.” Rarity said coming up beside me.

“Although I have messed some things up pretty badly… So how bad is the actual damage? I’m assuming that the rest of you also came and that since they aren’t here that they are with the princesses and Shining Armor.”

“And you would be correct dear. But don’t worry dear none of us are going to try to give you a bad image. All of us including the princesses and Shining have said that it you and Twilight that have to work out the problems. And only you two got it? This means no helps from us.”

“Honestly that’s probably the best scenario I could hope for. Do you think I’ll screw it up?”

Rarity stayed silent for a while thinking while she watched the Crusaders wander around the barracks looking at everypony and asking them questions; mostly about their Cutie Marks. “Honestly Dan you and Twilight have so many unknown variables even with my knowledge on relationships it hard to find a solution. But now I think that after the events are over you are just going to have to do your best.”

“Well I think that’s the best answer I am going to get so I’ll take it. Now let’s see if we can finally get something to eat. I need to make sure I got enough energy for the obstacle course.”

Everybody finally settled down and we had breakfast with our guests. Applebloom did a lot of talking; telling her friends about all the ponies in the squad. Some of them blushed at her words including Swift Gale when Applebloom said that she was so cool when she used her swords.

Noon came fast enough and everyone besides Spitfire left to go the crow stands where no doubt the rest of the girls from Ponyville would be. We stayed behind for a little to stretch and get ready for a bit when a group approached us.

“Excuse me we are looking for Private Dan?” I heard a mare’s voice call out.

“Yes?” I answered standing up from where I had been stretching.

“Oh it’s finally nice to meet you I’m Second Lieutenant Shock Point from Omega Squad.” The last words bought my full attention to the mare. Her mane was a lightning like yellow with her body being an electric blue.

“Is this about what happened last week?” I asked remembering the situation that happened with the unicorn.

“Well yes it was brought to our attention and I as well as the other two leaders of Omega Squad would like to offer an apology for our former squad member’s actions and performance.”

“Well then thank you I supp…wait what do you mean “former”?”

“It is the rules of Omega Squad that when you are allowed to join you are the best and win in any situation that you can. Losing is not an option. After his lose to you he was reprimanded and then let go from the squad.”

“Wouldn’t that be a little upsetting to his friends in the squad?”

“Aside from my two co squad leaders there is no friendship allowed in the squad. You are in to win and show your strength above all else.” Her voice was cold when she relayed that fact. The ponies behind her didn’t move or flinch at all to her cold words.

“Ah I see…then well apology accepted and I’ll see you at the obstacle course.” I gave a nod.

“Yes well then have a nice day Private.” She said with a small smile. Her squad broke in the center to allow her to walk through and then turned to follow. I stood there for a minute thinking before Swift floated into my view.

“Hey Dan it’s time to go. Is something on your mind?”

“Yeah Swift… What can you tell me about Omega Squad?

As we walked to the start of the obstacle course Swift filled me in. It turns out that the leadership is made up of one Pegasi pony, one Earth pony, and one Unicorn pony. Together the made a powerful team and were practically unbeatable. When they had started in the guard they had been fine enough, but over time their egos started to swell a bit. Now they wanted to only have the strongest squad. Pure strength was the only thing that mattered to them. Personality and other traits like that didn’t appeal to them. In a nutshell the wanted a strong little contingent that did nothing but obey.

I thought about it for awhile as I walked with the squad. As we walked the crowd of ponies got thicker and thicker until it was getting hard to walk. Ahead of me as we came into a clearing in the base was the starting line. Spitfire flew of to join the Wonderbolts and we were left waiting to be addressed. Now I couldn’t count how many ponies were here but I had to guess there might have been over to thousand ponies there. But for some reason as I looked around close to us I managed to see a familiar unicorn. I waded through the crowd over to him and gave him a poke. As he turned to look at me I saw his expression turn from sadness to shock.

“What are you doing here?”

“Do you mean here as in talking to you or here as in the obstacle course?”

“You know what I mean! You ruined everything for me you know. I was in a good squad and then you beat me in that fight. And if that wasn’t bad enough once Shock Point found out I got beaten by her and the other two leaders.” He showed me the bruises and bandages that coverer some of his body.

“…I’m sorry.”

“And then to top it of now you’re here to…you’re sorry?” he was confused by my sudden apology.

“I didn’t mean to get anyone hurt. I thought I could teach you a small lesson and that was it but I didn’t really know anything about Omega Squad yet. I don’t like anyone making fun of my friends; and I’ll protect them it’s what squad mates should do.”

“I…I…” he couldn’t find anything to say.

“But now that I know how Omega Squad treats their “former” members I’m starting to dislike them a bit more. It may lead to me doing something drastic.”

“I think that would be a bad idea to get on their bad side; despite their ways of running a squad they are still really powerful.”

“I’ll keep that in mind…but for now do you belong to a squad?”

“Um no I don’t I haven’t had a chance to ask or look around but I don’t see what that has to do with HEY!” he shouted his last word as I picked him up. I walked back over and when I had gotten back to my squad I set him down on the ground in front of Jonagold.

“Uh Dan why did you bring the unicorn that tried to pick a fight with you over here?” he asked.

“Well I’ve learned that he doesn’t have a squad and I was wondering if we had any room to fit him in ours. And before you ask it’s partially out of guilt and partial to piss Omega squad off; yes.” I could feel not only the eyes of my squad on me but also other ponies around me. Jonagold looked at me for a bit before turning his gaze to the unicorn who flinched under his stare.

“What’s your name son?” he asked the unicorn.

“Uh Corporal Storm Breaker; sir.” He choked out.

“Well then welcome to Alpha squad! I’ll get all that darned paperwork sorted out later but for now you’re with us and don’t let any other pony tell you differently got it?”

For the first time I saw Storm’s face light up in a smile. “Sir yes sir; thank you sir!”

“Alright then I think this shindig is about to kick off so introductions will have to wait; just do your best at the course and we will work it out from there.”

Storm Breaker seemed to understand but I think he was still confused that he wasn’t being told to be the best. Either way I looked away from him at the sound of trumpets coming from the stands. All the ponies look to find Princess Celestia and Princess Luna standing to address everyone.

“Welcome my little ponies to the beginning of the annual Equestria War Games. Today we will be holding the obstacle course race to determine our top ten and see who will be leader for one of the teams. After the race is over we will announce the scenario for this year and during lunch team signup will begin.” Celestia started first.

Luna stepped up next to talk “Now as for rules we are basically going to follow the same setup as last year. No hurting your fellow guards is the first, the second is that all Pegasi must maintain an six foot flight ceiling at all time; spells have been put in place so that if you reach seven feet you will be set back as a penalty. The third rule is that the course must be done without armor or shoes so please take them off. And the fourth and last rule is that otherwise there are no rules. Compete as you like and have some fun out there.” The crowd resonated with Luna as they cheered.

“Now please everyone get ready.” All the guards made there way to the starting line. We were all in one huddled mass. Ponies were removing their shoes and trying to make sure that they didn’t hit anyone. Everyone in the squad managed to find a place for their shoes and armor. I was the last to put my armor in the pile and as I looked up into the stands and saw her. Our eyes only caught for a couple of seconds but we hadn’t seen each other in awhile so it seemed like forever. We stared at each other not moving until Jona called me back to the group. I broke eye contact with her hoping that the next time I saw her we would be able to talk.

Well all were ready to run As Luna flew over the starting; flag in mouth. She waited for a couple of seconds and the waved it vigorously to start the race. With a sound akin to a thunderstorm everypony took off. With al the shoving and pushing going on it was hard to stay with my squad but we believed that would be the best idea to overcome the obstacles that we would face. We all ran for about five minutes before we came to our first obstacle which was a giant warped wall. It was taller than six feet so the Pegasi couldn’t fly over it and some ponies were confused about how to get up it. I saw one pony try to run up it and flipped upside down and fell back.

“Well how are going to get up this?” Jona asked out loud. “Do you think you guys have enough magic to get all of us up there?” he asked all the unicorns in the squad.

“It okay guys…and Swift I got a plan for this.” I said before I started running at the wall. I imitated some of what one of the ponies I saw did and I started to run up the wall but when I got to the middle of the curve I changed it up and jumped as high as I could. Stretching my arms out I managed to grab onto the ledge and hung there for a second before pulling myself up. Once I got up I laid there for a second before turning over on my stomach. I held my arms out and yelled to my squad. “Ok now try to do what I did and I’ll catch you. Swift was the first to try it out; she ran up, jumped up, and held her fore legs out for me to catch. I grabbed her and pulled her over and assumed my position. One by one my squad ran up and I caught them and pulled them over. Plenty of other ponies tried to copy my method and were somewhat succeeding at it by the time the squad and I had gotten over and were on our way.

By this point the crowd had thinned considerably. It was much easier to run and get to and through obstacles. We caught up quickly to the top two squads which happened to be the Wonderbolts and Omega squad. We were about in the same place coming out of the last obstacle which was like a little gladiator where ponies were swinging Pugil sticks at us. At this point it was pretty much a straight race to the finish but the race had clearly taken its toll on my squad and the other two. I noticed that Storm Breaker was having a harder time than most.

“Storm are you okay?” I asked trying to conserve my breath.

“I’m fine it just hurts. But I think I’ll make it.” He said before he fell to the ground. The squad almost stopped before I waved them off. “Keep going I got him.” The continued on while picked Storm up and put him over my shoulders.

“What are you doing?” he was surprised.

“You’re hurt and if you keep pushing yourself to hard you are going to do something to your body that you are going to regret. So just rest for a bit and I’ll make sure you cross that finish line.”

“So you’re going to throw away a good place in the race just to help me?”

“No I think I can help you and get a good place so try to hold on as best you can; this might get a bit bumpy.” I started to run faster. I could feel Storm try to curl his legs so he had a better grip. Within a couple minutes I caught up to my squad who was catching up to the other groups with minimal distance to go.

“SO guys anyone want to kick it into overdrive?” I asked as we could see finish coming up.

“I think all the other guys are running on fumes but I still got a little gas in the tank Dan.” Swift said as she took flight again. She had been alternating so she could save some strength.

“Ok then Swift on the count of three we bolt and we don’t stop till we pass the line got it?”

“Got it. One…Two…THREE!!!” she said as we took off. Most of the normal part of the Wonderbolts and Omega Squad was intertwined with each other and if I had looked back after Swift and I passed them I’m pretty sure I would have seen looks of shock. Up ahead I could make out five shapes; I guess that they would have been the leaders of Omega squad, Spitfire, and probably Soarin. Swift hit the finish line before me and I crossed carrying Storm Breaker on my shoulders. I could hear cheers coming but I did didn’t look up. I was too out of breath and energy to look up. Instead I looked at the ponies around me. Swift and Storm were ok and revealing in a bit of the cheering. Spitfire and Soarin we sharing surprised smiles on my left and to my right I finally got a good look at all three leaders of Omega squad; and the didn’t look happy with me at all.

It took a while after that but slowly everypony finished the race. And afterwards we went back to camp where a bunch of tables were set up with piles of food on them. Everyone started to dig in ravenously even though they were dirty, sweaty, and messy.

My squad sat at a table talking cheerfully about how Storm Breaker, Swift Gale and I had taken three of the top ten places.

“That was really something guys! Usually Omega squad takes a majority of the places but this year you guys limited them to half. And from the looks of it I don’t think they were too happy.” Flintlock said with a smug face as he chowed down on a sandwich.

“Attention everypony” Celestia’s voice boomed over everything silencing all the conversations. She as well as her sister, Cadence, Shining Armor, and the girls from Ponyville were sitting at a larger table up upon a stage. In front of that stage was a table where two scrolls were.

“We are now going to begin the team sign up. Now I ask that everyone form a nice line and please maintain an orderly line. And as for our top ten finishers they can skip the line and join whatever team they please. And as for the scenario this year we have created n are where we have decided it will be an attack and defense scenario with team A; leading the attack, and team B; leading the defense.”

As soon as Celestia had finished talking many ponies made a mad dash for the sign up table only to be stopped by the three from Omega squad. The pony that started talking was the earth pony; he had a brown coat with a black mane and was built like house.

“Alright then everybody; as of now me and my two friends are going to be taking control of A team. You can stay in line but we will determine if you good enough quality for the team; and if your not you will be asked to leave.”

I heard the words that came out of his mouth and was about half shocked; after listening to Shock Point earlier and finding Storm in his condition I wouldn’t have put this situation past them. I looked to Storm who seemed to be taking the whole scene in.

“So what are you going to do Storm? You have a free pass you could walk right up there and put your name down.”

“Yeah and probably risk another beating. Honestly after spending this little time at lunch and the whole race with you guys…” he motioned to the rest of the squad. “I’m starting to see what was wrong with Omega squad; I think I can realize that you do need personality to be able to form a cohesive unit that can work well; instead of the type of mindless drone army they are going to put together. I feel sorry for the smaller and somewhat weaker guards; those three won’t even give them the time of day even if they have enough heart for three ponies.”

I thought about what Storm said. It was nice to see he was changing his thinking a bit. But he was right about the leaders from Omega squad’s selection process. I could see them picking ponies out of line that were a bit scrawny, skinnier than most, or kind of short. I wondered what exactly I could do and that’s when the outline of a plan popped into my head.

“Dan you’re doing that smirking thing again…what are you thinking up?” Jonagold recognized that my deviousness was showing.

“Ok guys I have an idea and I’m going to go through with it. If you think it’s too insane don’ follow me I won’t hold it against you. I will say though that it will be a bit dangerous and there is no absolute guarantee for victory until I can work some things out. But if you want to know more you’re going to have to trust me on this one.” I said to the group as I rose from my chair.

I walked away from the table and headed toward the sign up table. As I got halfway there I could feel stares upon me and hear murmurings go through the crowd.

I made my way past the line and in a minute reached the table and found Omega squad looking at me.

“Well hello there Private. I was wondering if you would show up. Are you here to use you position to join us on the winning team?” Shock Point greeted me. I could see the list from my point and it looked like all the members of Omega squad were already on the list. And up at the top of the list was a space that said leader where three names had been written down.

“Well I thought about Second Lieutenant I really did but I don’t think I’m here for that reason.”

“Are you saying you don’t want to win the game?” she said confused.

“No; and I hope you don’t hold it against me; but I think…I think it’s time that someone showed you how the game is really played.”

I walked away from the A team line and over to the side of the table where the B team list was. Not a single name was written. I grabbed the quill and in the biggest letters I could manage I wrote my name into the leader section of the team B list. I quietly set the quill down and walked away. I turned around to see plenty of shocked faces except for a few ponies like Spitfire, Storm Breaker, and Jonagold. I walked past my squads table and headed back for the barracks and once I was out of earshot I said to myself “And now the game…is afoot…or in this case would that be ahoof?”

Author's Note:

well something is about to go down on a scale which i haven't full figured out yet...i know its big but how big is the question i'm going to answer....

Well now that this part is here i am kinda glad this is one of the parts i have been dying to write...and with that said i have to say that i may have tried to stuff to much in here some stuff seems rushed and i think i leave a couple of things unexplained or not explained enough...if you have problems then comment and i'll be sure to get to it either in coment for or the next chapter

i almost have 50 followers which to me is amazing
almost 2500 views which agains amazeballs
251 likes ..awesome... really
and as of right now 286 favourites i am kind of wondering if i can hit 300 faves before i make a 300 joke...who knows

oh and as i usually do i will once again plug my youtube channel

if you like duos making jokes while playing games me and my friend are getting better at it....at least i think so...so subscribe please????

so till next week keep on reading

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