• Published 24th Jan 2013
  • 21,260 Views, 1,879 Comments

My New Life in Equestria: Helping Has Its Ups and Downs - HAZESHIFT

Waking up in a tree usually doesn't mean its gonna be a good day...today on the other hand I find it to be the opposite...at least in the short run as i find myself in a world of ponies

  • ...

PreviousChapters Next
Chapter 10: Is Dan going to have to choke a BlueBitch???

Chapter 11: Is Dan going to have to choke a Bluebitch???

In Canterlot the Grand Galloping Gala was in full swing again. Ponies of varying shapes, sizes, and age filled the grounds of the castle. Many different ponies could be seen conversing and generally having a good time. One could also see other ponies that were not; it seems the higher nobility had; as usual; not really liked the Princesses idea of trying to get all the different types of ponies across Equestria to attend the gala. They never really understood what the Princesses really wanted.

Ponies were still arriving in droves. Those that weren’t celebrities simply walked onto the castle grounds while the ponies that were walked down red carpeted stair in the castle which lead to the Princesses to give them their greeting for the night.

The Princesses stood on a small raised platform of steps inside their castle. Unlike many of the other ponies who were wearing clothing that night; Both Celestia and Luna chose to only wear their royal attire of their crowns, necklace, and shoes. From their perspective they could see where ponies exited their carriages and the walkway that led all the way to them; and there was a long line of ponies in line to give their respects.

“It seems like the number of nobles keeps getting bigger every year Tia.” Luna said in a bored low tone so no one but her sister could hear.

“I know it is not the grandest thing in the world but we must grin and bear it Luna. I can only hope that with “their” arrival that this night will become more enjoyable.”

“Excuse me your highnesses are you saying somepony is coming that will “get this party started” as they say?” Both rulers turned their head to see that their favorite pony among the nobles had finally come to the front of the line.

“Fancy Pants how nice to see you as always; although I don recall your talent being about eavesdropping.” Princess Celestia knew that Fancy Pants and his wife Fleur de Lis were one of the very few ponies who would talk to her normally.

Well believe me princess when I first thought about my talent I thought it would actually have something to do with pants considering my name.” he said curtly and paused with the other three mares for a second before all of them laughed heartily.

“Ah you are as clever as always Fancy; and Fleur it is so nice to see you it has been to long since one of our last shopping trips; I think the palace budget is balanced enough for us to have one again very soon.” Celestia saw the smile on Fleur’s face as she remembered the memories of the last trip they did so many stallion tripped over them selves as two of the most beautiful mares went all over Canterlot.

“Oh I’m sure that they won’t expect us next time either your majesty. But if I may princess; who were you speaking of just before we arrived?” The tall and svelte unicorn asked of the solar ruler.

“Oh well my sister and I are waiting for my student and her friends to arrive.”

“I bet some of the nobility will love to hear that.” Fancy Pants said remembering everything the bearers of the Elements of Harmony did the last time they attended the Grand Galloping Gala.

“Yes but this year more than just the six of them are coming from Ponyville along with a very special guest who you have probably been waiting to get a glimpse of and talk to Fancy.”

“Do you mean that you sent “him” an invitation your highness?” Fancy seemed surprised at the information he was hearing.

“Well I want him to…” Celestia started to say before the trumpets that announced nobles went off and the announcer came forth again; although this time he did look a little bit happier to be announcing somepony that usual.

“Introducing the Elements of Harmony.” He said aloud in a boisterous voice. Many ponies turned their heads and some nobles were seen gasping while others were seen quickly moving away farther into the gala.

The six mares made their way down the carpet towards the princesses and the two well known social ponies. Each one could tell that the six mares had been given new dresses made by the element of generosity herself; and that they looked absolutely fabulous. Celestia began talking as the six came to a stop in front of them.

“Twilight I’m glad to see you and your friends have arrived here.” She said as Twilight came closer and the two shared a nuzzle.

“It is so great to see you Princess; oh hi uncle Fancy Pants and Aunt Fleur.” Twilight greeted her mentor and relatives.

“Wait Twilight; are you saying that Fancy Pants is Vinyl’s father and your uncle?” Rarity asked; the fashionista was surprised; she had never though that her dear friend was related to a favorite client of hers.

“Yeah he is my father’s brother and my BUFF.” She said with a proud smile on her face.

“Best Uncle Friend Forever.” Fancy said walking up and pulling Twilight into a hug. “It has been too long my dear niece; and I must say Rarity that you continue to surprise me on how well you out do yourselves with your dresses.”

“Oh thank you Fancy I do have to say that I put so much effort not only into our six dresses but also for the clothes for the rest of our friends.”

“Other friends? Did more than the six of you comer here?”

Oh yes about nine other ponies came with us; they went straight into the gala to find tables and such while we came and presented ourselves to the princess.”

“Nine? But I thought that there was a special visitor coming with you?”

“Yes Twilight I am curious I believe that Dan was coming with you?” Princess Luna said as she walked up to the group of Twilight, Rarity, Fancy Pants, and Fleur; leaving her sister to talk with Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Applejack.

“Well princess he started to walk in with us and I guess something caught his eye because he stopped and then said something about making a grand entrance; so I can guess that we will see…” she stopped talking as the musicians started to play again but in a very different tune. The violins and trumpets went on for a bit before the announcer stepped up again.

“Ladies and Gentlestallions, it is my pleasure to introduce a special guest to tonight’s festivities. Equestria’s first human; his name is Allen; Dan Allen.” The announcer said as the trumpet started blaring and Dan walked out from around the corner and began walking down the stairs in time to the music.

I was glad I didn’t pass this opportunity down; with the suit and the music to top it off I think I did a great honor to that British spy. I looked around the room as I made my way down the stairs. I saw ponies looking at me in two different types of shock. The scared type of shock; probably because I was a giant bipedal creature, and the other was the amazed type; mostly because again I was a bipedal creature; but this time in a fantastic suit.

I decided to play my feelings closer to the character I was trying to emulate. My eyes seemed half closed; like I was scanning the room trying to look kind of cold yet still cool. I gave a small smile that said the same as my eyes. As I looked around I looked at some of the mares in the room and gave them a small appreciative nod with a gentle smile. I could see each blush and one of them even took out a fan to cool herself with.

I then looked to Twilight and the group she was with. Her jaw along with some others including the princesses. Next to them were two ponies I had actually wanted to see; Fancy Pants and Fleur de Lis. It took me a minute till I reached the group; I gave a small bow to the Celestia and Luna before I asked a simple question.

“So how was my entrance?” I could see mouths opening and closing from the girls trying to find the words to a suitable answer; even the princesses didn’t seem to have an answer for me.

“Oh my so this is the famous Dan I have heard so much about. I am truly glad that he has a sense of style and wit; wouldn’t you agree Fleur.” I turned to see Fancy chuckling while talking about me.

“Oh I agree with you; and he does look very handsome as well.”

“Fancy Pants it’s a pleasure to meet you; I have to say you are one of the ponies I have been looking forward to meeting; and the same to Fleur and might I add that you look spectacular tonight.”

“Oh why thank you Dan.” Fleur said accepting my compliment. “It good to know that the stranger who saved our son also is a nice…is “person” the correct term?”

I gave her a nod to show that she was correct before my mind decided to interrupt me. Did she say son? My mind went into a quick overdrive before I put some facts together.

“Wait so that means that you two.” I pointed to Fancy and Fleur. “Are Vinyl and Pipsqueak’s mom and dad…and also Twilight’s aunt and uncle?” I asked both of them. Nods from both of them confirmed what I thought.

“Wow that’s incredible I never would have guessed other wise.”

“Yes it would seem that all relatives of Twilight tend to be on the right side of my sister and me.” Celestia said moving into the group.

“Speaking of Twilight’s relatives I would be correct in guessing the Shining Armor is also in attendance here tonight?” I asked Celestia with the smallest hint of nervousness in my voice.

“Why do you want to know Dan?” Luna said coming up from behind her sister. “It wouldn’t have anything to do with anything you might have written to us?” it was easy to tell with her coy smile and sarcastic tone that she knew why I wanted to avoid Twilight’s brother.

“What does she mean by that Dan what exactly did you write in your letters?” Twilight Had sent the other five into the main room of the gala to find the rest of the group.

“Oh nothing Twilight just some friendly jokes, now how bout we get this party started?” I said as I started to push Twilight into Gala.

“Oh Dan could you wait a moment My sister and I would like to have a little talk with you.” Celestia stopped me and asked.

“Oh sure no problem. Fancy, Fleur I’m sure that I will see you again sometime tonight. And Twilight I do have to say that you do look very pretty in your dress.” I honestly did like her dress.

Instead of going with a color closer to her fur Rarity instead went with black. And it seemed to hug her form tightly enough to show off but loose enough to move in. and to complete it; on most of it were little tiny white stars that you had to stare at for awhile. I saw her blush as she walked away with her aunt and uncle in tow her were saying something about clouds and the number nine.

Honestly it had been about a month since I had been in Equestria and I thought that I was becoming very acclimated. Due to not having a lot of meat to eat except the occasional fish Fluttershy let me have I had been losing some weight and saw that start of muscle taking its place. I had also start thinking other ponies; In Ponyville most of them seemed to like me; sure saving a bunch of their kids had given me a huge plus but still even some ponies who I barely knew. And I even had a good group of friends.

And then there was Twilight…

Rarity was sitting at the table the group had chosen to sit at. She was the only one there while she waited for everyone to find something to eat or drink; she had volunteered to weight because she had to fix a bit of her makeup. While she sat there she thought about how different this gala was going. None of her friends had started a catastrophe yet and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. Sure this gala wasn’t as sophisticated as the last one had been; but maybe it was for the better. There seemed to be more fun abound and even though some of the more stuffy nobles had voiced their complaints, things kept moving in a better direction.

And hopefully this time around she would not met somepony who didn’t completely destroy her idea of how a noble should act.

“Oh my well if it isn’t the Element of Generosity, Ms. Rarity” Rarity heard a voice she knew well come up from behind her. She turned to see the one pony she had wished that she would never run into again; Prince Blueblood.

He looked about the same as he did last year except this time he was followed by a small group of mares who were trailing on his coat tails. Rarity looked at each of them; they were young and quite nice looking mares who had the look of love in their eyes just like she did at the last gala before the pony speaking to her crushed her dreams and expectations.

“Oh Prince Blueblood what a surprise to see you.” That was about the only thing she could say that was any part truth.

“Why yes I say it was quite a surprise that my aunt extended the six of you invitations after what happened at the last gala.” He said not even remotely caring about the mares feeling. Rarity winced just slightly but not enough that the prince and his little mare entourage noticed.

“But I’ve chosen to forget about most of last year and instead look towards the future…but there is one thing I would like to bring up.” Blueblood said.

“And what might that be?” Rarity was feeling a bit on edge; the prince wasn’t giving of much emotion and it was hard to figure out exactly what he was going to do.

“Well I do remember what exactly we did do at the last gala and after thinking it over I believe that an apology is in order.

Rarity was in a bit of shock; she thought Blueblood was going to be his own pompous self; but instead he was offering peace for what happened. After his words neither of them said anything for a couple of seconds. That was until Prince Blueblood gave a frown.

“Well…I’m waiting for my apology.” He said catching Rarity off guard.

“Excuse me?”

“Well I believe that you owe me an apology for your behavior.”

“Is that really how you see things?” Rarity didn’t bother to hide her sarcasm.

“Yes, I am a prince, and I must be treated as such; you despite your workings are still quite peasant like.”

“I have also helped save Equestria on more than one occasion; have you done that?”

“No but that’s why us nobles have ponies like you to do that kind of work for us.” Rarity couldn’t believe that Princess Celestia’s nephew would ever speak like this anywhere. And as he spoke he started advancing towards her a bit as did the group of mares behind him. “And I also believe Ms. Rarity that you think I was asking for an apology. Well I can tell you I am not; I’m demanding one. Or do we have a problem?”

“I don’t know Rarity do we have a problem?” a voice came from behind Prince Blueblood that made him jump slightly.

“Excuse me I am Prince Blueblood; and I am in the middle of some royal business so would you kindly.” the prince said as he turned around to come face to face with a black pole; or so he thought. He looked up to come face to face with the human creature he had read about in the newspapers.

“Hi Prince Blueblood, my name if you don’t know it by now is Dan; and I am with her.” He said pointing to Rarity who now had a slightly smug look on her face. He looked down on the prince with his cold blue eyes which slowly intimidated the prince.

“Oh so you make acquaintances with monsters now Ms. Rarity? And what exactly can I do for you Dan? Cry in terror?” he said before he started laughing and the group behind him followed suit.

“Actually I believe if you follow the news correctly its monster hero instead of just monster; saving a group of colts and fillies from a burning building tends to make people like you…and as for what you could do…how bout sod off.” I said catching the prince of guard. No one ever spoke to him like that.

“I’m sorry?” the prince said trying to be as intimidating as he could; it didn’t work to well seeing as I was about two and a half feet taller than him.

“Yes you should be. Now if you don’t mind me and my “acquaintance” here would like to have some fun at tonight’s gala and clearly there is none to be had with you.

The prince’s mouth hung open in shock at the way Dan was talking to him. He tried to think of something to say but every time he looked up to the creature he was more intimidated. Before anyone could say something a pony came up next to the group.

“Would anypony like something to drink?”

“Perfect…” Blueblood thought to himself quickly. “If I can’t out intimidate this monster, then I can definitely outclass him. That will show him who is superior in this situation.”

“Yes I will have the finest wine we have available here my good man; take it directly from my private stock; only the best for m guests.” The prince said to the waiter then shot a quick look at the human monster in front of him as the waiter pony came to a stop in front of him and looked up.

“And for you sir?”

I thought about it for a second before I decided that there was only one thing I could drink. “I’ll have a martini.”

“Very good sir…”

“Wait.” I said stopping him. “Three measure of gin, one measure of vodka, and half a measure of lillet. Shake it very well until it’s ice-cold, and throw in a large piece of lemon peel.”

“Excellent choice sir; it will be here right away.”

I looked to blue blood who seemed surprised at what I had just asked for; I had learned that ponies did indeed have alcohol but some chose not to mix it. Blueblood never said another word to me; he simply just walked off with his group of mares behind him who gave me both unsavory looks and looks of desire. It was when they were completely out of range that Rarity finally spoke again.

“Oh thank you Dan for coming when you did; I wasn’t quite sure how that would have ended.” She thanked me.

“I saw your moves during the wedding; I think you could have beaten him into the floor.”

“A lady never does that in public; she only does it around a corner where no one is looking…and by the way that is a very fancy drink you ordered; who gave you the idea?” she said as the waiter came back with my drink.

“Just a man who was very good at being sophisticated and suave.” I said before taking a sip. “Now let’s go we shouldn’t stand here all night; there’s fun to be had and much more my dear.”

“Or do you simply want to get another look at Twilight’s dress?” I heard how provocative Rarity’s voice was.

“Maybe.” I said simply looking down to the unicorn and giving her a simple smile.

“Oh you getting better at this game darling.” She stated as she began to walk ahead of me. It had not even been three minutes before we heard a voice that both of us recognized.

“Dan! Rarity!” we looked to the source of the voice to see Scootaloo moving towards us in a dress Rarity had also made for her.

“Hey Scootaloo I thought you would be hanging with the Crusaders and the other kids?” I was actually kind of puzzled why she wasn’t with the bunch.

“Oh I’m going to hang out with them plenty tonight but I wanted to hang out with my aunt for a bit to plus she wasn’t at the school to meet you so I thought that this would be the perfect time.” She said to us before turning around to wave someone over. “Dan this is my aunt.” She said pointing to the pony that had just joined us. My mind went blank for a second trying to remember her.

“So this is the famous Dan I’ve heard so much about huh?” the tomboyish voice came out just as I had thought. It was the right sort of voice I thought that Spitfire of the Wonderbolts would have.

Author's Note:



ALTHOUGH NO ONE GUESSED THE REFERENCES FROM THE LAST CHAPTER BESIDES ONE WHICH IS KIND UPSETTING....not that i don't mind but i like to talk to people in the comments....hell someone start an arguement in there please


Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
PreviousChapters Next
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!