• Published 24th Jan 2013
  • 21,263 Views, 1,879 Comments

My New Life in Equestria: Helping Has Its Ups and Downs - HAZESHIFT

Waking up in a tree usually doesn't mean its gonna be a good day...today on the other hand I find it to be the opposite...at least in the short run as i find myself in a world of ponies

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Chapter 4: RELEASE.......THE CHICKENS!!!!!

Chapter 4: release……….THE CHICKENS!!!!!!

The party lasted for hours, going from when Dan woke up in the early afternoon till the early parts of the night. Dan was a bit amazed on how much you could fit into one day. That didn’t mean he wasn’t in pain though. Shortly after Celestia’s declaration the Cutie Mark jumped him and for the…..fifth…sixth…he lost count; time today Dan was on his back. But this time he was okay with it, cause the three fillies were basically shouting praises in his face. They thanked him over and over till they were blue in the face; literally.

After they were done Twilight was about to give him a three hour lecture about the danger of his actions but luckily Cadence interrupted by accidentally making Twilight give Dan an impromptu hug. It wasn’t that it wasn’t a bad hug but it did seem kind of embarrassing in front of all their friends. It was made even more embarrassing by the fact that both Dan and Twilight pushed away from each other in the same way and started sputtering the same kind of nonsense. It made for a hilarious sight for everyone but them. There was food, which Dan greedily devoured because he hadn’t eaten all day. He surprised people by showing that he even gave Pinkie a run for her money.

But after all was said and done everyone was getting tired and they decided that it was time to head back to Ponyville for a good nights rest. As they left Cadence made sure to say goodbye to Dan personally(ponysally???) and said to him “I think we will see more of you Dan, I look forward to seeing what happens with you and someone we both know personally.” He had no clue what she meant by that but for some reason it still brought a blush to his cheeks

Before they left do Dan made a point to talk to Crystal Clear and tell here where he would be so she could get her exclusive. The group boarded the train right before their sugar rush wore off. Sleepiness started to take hold on the train and soon enough everyone was taking a nap on the train except for Dan and Twilight. Twilight was used to long hours and little sleep, plus all those years of organizing had trained her body to basically micromanage herself. As for Dan lets just say the pain had come back.

“Well Dan besides almost getting yourself killed and all how was your first day in Equesteria?”

“Honestly Twilight it has been some of the most fun I have had in awhile.” Twilight noticed a slightly somber look in his eye despite the happiness he showed.

“What do you mean? Don’t you have friends who do stuff with you back where you are from?”

“Yes I do but things can be a bit more…complicated. First off; we don’t all live in the same town so we have to travel to get to each other. Then we have to figure out times for everything. And sometimes some of them can be so indecisive and don’t plan thing well….unlike a certain purple unicorn that can sometimes over plan.” Dan explained with a bit of a smirk.

“I don’t over plan!”

“OK then. What time do we get to Ponyville?”

“Oh we will arrive at 8:55 sharp. And since word about you has probably spread around there might be some ponies waiting around to ask some questions or give thank you’s; so from 8:55 to 9:00 we will try to handle questions. Then at 9:00 we will leave and start heading to our respective homes. You will be staying with me and Spike in the library for now until we can figure out better accommodations. We should arrive at the library at 9:10 precisely and after a quick drink depending on what your tastes are we should all be in bed by 9:15.”

Twilight finished rattling off her plans and found that Dan had a deadpan look on his face.

“Oh I guess that is a bit much huh?”

“Possibly…Where will I be sleeping?”

“Well till we get some things straightened out you can sleep in my bed tonight because of your injuries.”

“Like with you in the bed?”

“NO! why would you think that?”

“Well it is your bed. I mean I don’t take up a lot of room so we could probably…”

“NO!” Twilight surprised Dan with her outburst. The blush on he face undeniable to any one, but Dan didn’t seem to get it at the moment.

“I mean no its fine I can sleep on the couch, its definitely big enough for me to sleep on. With someone of your size you will probably hang over the sides and be uncomfortable.”

“Twilight Sparkle….Are you calling me fat?” Dan joked

“No what I meant was with your height and skeletal structure….oh your joking with me aren’t you?”

The laughter coming from Dan was all Twilight needed for a confirmation and after giving him a mean look only succeeded in making him call her cute again she joined in laughing as well.

Just as Twilight had said earlier, at 8:55 the train came to a stop at Ponyville. They woke everyone up from their little naps. Dan had the unfortunate job of waking Rarity. He swore that at one point she was going to bite him. As they got off they were greeted by the mayor and the rest of Applejack’s family. Sure enough the mayor went straight to Twilight to ask about Dan, she took the liberty of filling her in all about Dan and what would be happening.

As I was standing there holding Spike like a stuffed animal because he was one stubborn sleeper I felt like I was being watched. I turned to see Applejack’s brother Big Macintosh staring up at me with an intent glare. I returned his glare with one of my own. The rest of the group stared at me and him while we had one of those guy moments. We basically had a conversation in our own heads for a good minute before we both simply nodded at each other and smiled.

From there they group parted ways and every tired pony went to their respective homes. Dan and Twilight were finally showing signs of fatigue as they reached the library. Twilight opened the door and all the candles in the room lit up.

“I made sure to cast a spell on the candles for when it’s dark, we don’t have electricity in the library yet and it can get dark sometimes.” So I’ll show you to my room where you can sleep for the night.”

“Sounds yawnnaaaaggh…good” Dan’s body was finally telling him that after the events of today that it would like some rest.

Twilight led him up the small staircase and down a slight hallway. She stopped at the first door on the right. The inside of Twilight’s bedroom was as Dan thought it was going to be. Everything was in its place, and it looked spotless. Dan saw Spike’s little bed at the foot of the bed and placed him in it. He looked at Twilight who was getting a blanket and pillow out of her closet.

“Twilight are you sure you wanna sleep on the couch?

“It’ll be fine for tonight Dan, your my guest and I won’t have it another way.”

Twilight turned and left the room; but halfway down to the couch she remembered something she had to tell him.

“Oh Dan I just remembered…” she was about to say more but saw that Dan was now unconscious and sprawled across her bed. It was just big enough for him and he was now snoozing peacefully.

“Well I guess it can wait till morning then.” Twilight said as she used her magic to maneuver her blanket on top of Dan. She moved closer and looked at him. There was something about him, it just seemed…nice to her. Without thinking she leaned in and gave Dan a slight kiss in the cheek. Afterwards she immediately realized what she did and quickly and embarrassedly retreated from the room and went to fall asleep on the couch wondering at what she had done.

Dan woke up for a reson he couldn’t think of. He took a look around; it was still very dark. He looked around and saw a clock on the bed stand near the bed; it was 3AM. He got up and stretched. While he was momentarily up he decided to check on how Twilight was sleeping. He slowly crept down the stairs and saw Twilight shivering in her sleep on the couch. He knew that it was a bad idea. So he picked her up and cradled her in her arms. He thought it was like holding a stuffed animal as he walked up the stairs. He got back to the room and set her gently on the far side of the bed as he got back into bed with one arm slightly over her.

“She can yell at me in the morning. I didn’t risk my life in a fire just so one slightly embarrassed unicorn could freeze in her sleep.” And with that Dan settled back into a nice sleep.

Now on any normal day in Ponyville everyone knew that the first pony up would be Applejack. But because of the events of yesterday the whole apple family decided to take the day of for rest. That meant that the award for the earliest rising of that day went to Applejack’s chromatic friend Rainbow Dash. Rainbow always like the crisp cold morning air, flying around always woke her up quicker than a shower could. Besides what was the point of showering then having a early morning workout then having to shower again because of it?

Standing on her front porch/ diving board of her cloud house she prepared for take off. Slowly stretching her hooves and then wings till they gave that little pop was always gratifying. She leapt of her porch and went straight down to build up speed. A few feet from the ground she spread her wings and climbed. With the speed she had she did flips and all other kinds of amazing maneuvers which would astound anyone who saw them.

After a half an hour of exercising Rainbow had an idea. Now she had pranked her friends many times and even though she still laughed it got slightly old after awhile. But now she had someone new to try some pranks on. Now that she had Dan around he was in for a lot of pranking. She thought that she could try one out while he was still sleeping.

Rainbow zipped over Ponyville and headed the direction of the library. She figured that since yesterday Twilight would let him sleep in her bed. From experience Rainbow knew that the outside balcony was connected to Twilight’s bedroom.

She gave a small maniacal laugh as she flew “ Heh heh heh oh he’s gonna pay for that whole, perch on his shoulder thing.”

Rainbow touched down on the balcony outside Twilights room softly trying to make as little noise as possible. She quietly made her way to the window and scanned inside for her new human friend. Part of her mind was on the prank she would be pulling the other half was on finding her target. Her eyes moved to Twilight’s bed where he would be and that’s when she saw it. Her eyes widened to gigantic proportions even for ponies. She saw that Dan was indeed in the bed….and so was Twilight!!!


She sprang from the balcony and took off as fast as she could and headed in the complete opposite direction. There was only one mare she could talk to about a situation like this. She arrived at Carousel Boutique within three minutes, she landed and pounded on the door hopefully loud enough to wake Rarity.


The door opened violently and Rainbow stood face to face with the fashionista who was decked out in her robe with hair curlers and a facial mask on. Truly she was in her early morning glory.

“Rainbow Dash!!! I was sure that you knew the importance of my early mornings. Why would you be so brash as to interrupt the rituals which give me….Muwahaha.”

She started to rant as Rainbow pulled her close to her and began whispering in her ear. Rarity’s eyes showed annoyance as Rainbow relayed her news but slowly they widened biger and bigger…and bigger. It was like a countdown as Rainbow finished telling Rarity what she had seen. She waited a couple of seconds and then Rarity couldn’t hold it in any longer.

Applejack had managed to get a bit more sleep than she usually did but the routine she usually performed everyday always managed to wake her in the early hours of the day. She was going to take it slow today seeing as how the family was taking a day off. She walked out the front door of her house; hat on head and took in the serene picture of the calm apple fields. Well it was calm and serene until she her something tremendously loud


The scream pierced the air in every direction and even from awhile away Applejack knew who that loud voice belonged to.

“Jeez I wonder what’s got Rarity so riled up this early in the morning!” No sooner than she had posed the question than she saw a rainbow trail coming towards her house.

Rainbow was flying fast, faster than she normally flew unless she was in some kind of race. As she flew over Sweet Apple Acres she saw Applejack standing on her front porch. She came in hot on her landing and skidded to a halt right before the porch.

“Hey Rainbow, whats got Rarity’s up in a fuss this morning.”

“Applejack we got to get to the library now! Rarity went to go get Fluttershy and we have to meet them there immediately!”

“Why did something happen to Twilight or Dan?”

“No not exactly but when I was doing my early morning routine flight exercises I thought tht I could pull a prank on Dan in his sleep for that comment yesterday. So I landed on the balcony and when I looked in the windows I saw them!”

“Saw them what Rainbow?”

“Sleeping! Duh.”

“Uh Rainbow most people sleep in their bedrooms.”

“NO I mean they were sleeping in Twilight’s bed…TOGETHER!”

The gears clicked in place in Applejacks head faster than you could say “apples”. Her eyes bugged out for a minute before she put on the slyest poker face she could manage before speaking again.


“Already taken care of.”

“Well then let’s go!!” Applejack said as she took of running towards Ponyville. Rainbow took to the air close behind her as they moved as quick as they could. As the moved through the town they could see Rarity and Fluttershy approaching the library form the other side. While Pinkie…was already waiting at the front door.

“Pinkie how did you even…?”

“Pinkie Sense, I got a combo that told me that something really funny was about to happen!”

“Well no sense on arguing with that sugarcube.”

Quietly the five ponies opened the door and snuck in. As quietly as they could they made their way to Twilights bedroom. It took them a few minutes but finally they all managed to get into the bedroom, but from their it was hard to be quiet as nearly all of them were on the verge of laughing like hyenas.

The sight which was so funny was at how their friend Twilight sparkle was being…cuddled like a stuffed animal by their new found friend Dan. It was adorable in so many ways.

“Oh my I don’t think there could be anything cuter than this moment right here.” Rarity seemingly pulled a fan out of nowhere and was fanning away the heat from the blush on her face.

“Wow this is like the ultimate “get back at you” situation.” Rainbow chuckled lightly “Rarity you have the camera right?”

“Why of course I wouldn’t dare miss this opportunity my dear Rainbow. She fished around in the saddlebag attached to her side and brought out a camera

“Now let us see if we can get some fun snapshots before the “happy couple” wakes up hmm. The tone in Rarity’s voice showed that this was definitely the start of a fun day. She began taking some shots and hoped that neither Dan nor Twilight woke up just yet.

Twilight felt warm as she slept. She didn’t realize that her couch could provide her with such warmth. Something was gnawing at the edge of her sleeping consciousness, there was some kind of whirring and clicking noises going on around her. Slowly the noises woke her from her warm slumber. She slowly opened her eyes and found herself on the receiving end of a camera pointed at her by Rarity. She also saw that all her other friends were in the room.

“Girl…” she started to ask but was interrupted Rarity.

“Shh Twilight you wouldn’t want to wake Dan now would you?”

Dan? What did she exactly mean by that? IT was about this time that Twilight astuteness kicked in and she noticed her surroundings. 1. she was in her bedroom, in her bed to be more precise. And 2. there was something very warm on top of her. She craned her neck around and came face to face with a still sleeping Dan who at some point while sleeping had basically wrapped his arms around her. She looked at her friends who all had wide smiles plastered on their faces. Pinkie’s smile was natural because that’s always how she was, but for everyone else it was because of the embarrassing and compromising situation.

“…ah…..ah…” she couldn’t find any words as her head turned violently between her friends and the human squeezing her like she squeezed her doll Smarty Pants all those years ago. What she hadn’t thought about was that those violent motions would wake her holder. Dan did a small stretch in his sleep yawned and then slowly opened his eyes. He noticed that besides Twilight all the other girls were in the room; hje also noticed the camera that Rarity was floating with her telekinesis.

“Hey girls what are you takin pictures of?” he asked with a yawn. It was then that the girls couldn’t hold in their laughter in anymore; not even Fluttershy. All of them fell to the floor laughing hysterically like they had been dosed with laughing gas, through the laughter Rainbow was the only one who could squeak out a few words in between breaths.

“Why don’t…you ask…your cuddle buddy there?”..

I looked down and there still rapped in my arms was Twilight who looked at me with a look of incredulous anger. It still looked adorable though, and if I’ve said it once I will continue to say it, curse pony cuteness.

“Uh good morning Twilight…”

“Don’t good morning me what are you doing? How did this…” she gestured to us “happen?”.

“Well if you must know I woke up at three in the morning for some reason and I decided to check on you on the couch. And just as I thought you were freezing, so I picked you up and came back here put you in the bed; got in myself and went back to sleep.”

“And you just happened to hug me like this in your sleep?”

“Yeah I guess.”

“YOU GUESS?!?!?! And Rarity what are you doing with the camera….actually what are you all doing here?”

“Well Twilight dear Rainbow saw you and she came straight to me and I suggested that we all come and see and also take commemorative photos of this event.”

“What event?” Twilight dared to ask a blush slightly creeping on her face.

“Well the first time you sleep in bed with a stallion of course.”

I honestly didn’t think something could change color from lavender to bright red, but Twilight did it so easily. I had to admit to myself that I was also blushing a bit too.

“ooh pictures can I get one!”

“Dan why would you want one?”

“Why not?” I let finally let go of Twilight and got out of the bed. Twilight was still as a statue.

“So what’s on the agenda for today girls?” I said before I decided to try stretching. As soon as I tried my body told me tha it wasn’t a good thing to do


“Somethin the matter Dan?” Applejack asked.

“I feel extremely sore after everything that happened yesterday…Man I could use a massage.”

Rarity’s eyes lit up at the words massage. Everyone in the room knew the look she was doing and the knew exactly what she was going to say next.

“Oh then if you need a massage then we can go to the spa!”

All the girls knew that Rarity was a spa-aholic and that she wouldn’t waste any opportunity to go and pamper herself. Though in this case since Dan was in a bit of pain they decided to make an exception.

“Well my morning workout was a bit rough maybe a massage could help me too.”

“Heh those spa ponies will have a fun time getting the knots outta this farm pony.”

Fluttershy was the only one not to say anything, in a normal case most of the girls understood this but something was different in this situation.

“Fluttershy is something wrong?”

“Oh well it’s just that I haven’t taken care of the animals yet. I was going to start but Rarity told me to follow her and…” She stopped talking and then started drawing imaginary circles on the floor with her hoof.

“Aw don’t worry about it shy we can help you with the animals before we go to the spa…Right Rarity?”

“Why of course it wouldn’t be proper to stop someone from doing their job. Do you want to help Dan?”

“Sure I don’t mind I like animals as much as the next person…pony.”

Everyone then started to walk out of the room forgetting that there was still one pony left sitting on her bed. Dan poked his head back into the room to try and rouse her in his own little way.

“Twilight come on and snap out of it, or am I going to have to send a report to Princess Celestia and your brother that we slept together last night?”

This snapped Twilight out of her shock and into her rage, she slowly turned around to face Dan. Her face contorted in anger a bit as she found her voice again.

“you…you…YOU IDIOT!!!” she began to charge up her horn to blast him into next week, but Dan’s danger reflex kicked in ad he started sprinting out of the library.

“WAIT I’M NOT DONE WITH YOU!!!” she charged after him leaving her bed a mess as she tried to catch up to Dan and her friends, all the while Spike was still sleeping and hadn’t woken up even once.

After a brisk walk and calming Twilight down the reached Fluttershy’s cabin and set to work. The animals were curious around Dan but soon warmed up to him after they found out how magical his hands felt…well that is all of them except for one lone white rabbit. He sat apart from the group of animals and gave Dan a slightly angry look.

“Oh angel don’t you want to say hi to Dan he’s a new friend.”

Angel hopped right up to Dan and looked up at him. Even though Dan was sitting down he still towered over most of the animals. Angel looked at Dan and he could notice something in his eyes. It was akin to fear but not entirely. Dan put out his hand and motioned for angel to hop on. As Angel got on his hand Dan stood up and called to his friends.

“Hey girls you go on ahead to the spa I’ll catch up in a minute; I just wanna have a little talk with angel.”

The girls didn’t quite understand what he meant but thye took it as a good sign and headed down the path towards the spa. Dan walked away from his new animal friends for a second and then looked at Angel and began to talk with him.

“Ok now I know who you are and I know how….tricky…you can be?” he said like he was asking the bunny a question. In turn the bunny shook his head disapprovingly at the taller being as if he should try again. Dan thought for a moment, he was thinking about the right word to use.

“Devious?” he asked the bunny. Apparently that was good enough for the rabbit as Angel shook his head in approval.

“OK then so how about this? I’m not here to mosey in on your turf, I am just here to help and be friendly, and that’s all. So how about we be friends”

Angel gave Dan a hard stare in consideration for what seemed like a minute before smiling and giving Dan his approval.

“Well ok then little buddy thanks. If you need a hand sometime…you’ll find a way to get a hold of me.” Dan said as he put the bunny back on the ground and started on his way to catch up to Twilight and company. But on his way he past Fluttershy’s chicken coop and a random thought past into his mind. It was so powerful he couldn’t stop himself from doing what his brain told him. He found the nearest chicken to him and he poked it. The chicken barely noticed and went on about its business. Dan waited a few seconds and poked it again, this time it noticed him but seemed to forgive him. Dan then poked it again; this time it stopped and turned to face him. It gave him a look that basically said “Go ahead punk poke me again and see what happens”.

Inside Dan’s head he thought “It honestly can’t be like that, how would that even work if chickens knew something about a game not even from this dimension…eh I’m gonna risk it.” He reached out and poked the chicken again. After he did the chicken made a sound he never heard before.


“Oh no freaking way…” Dan thought and paniced a bit. After a second he felt something collide with his back, he turned and saw another chicken who began to peck at him. Then another collision and another until it was like he was playing dodgeball…with chickens.

“OH SHI…” Dan yelled as he began to run away. Angel watched from a distance and shook his head a bit.

Meanwhile the girls had almost reached the spa, and Twilight was about to die of embarrassment…again.

“Well Twilight you still haven’t told us what it was like sleeping with Dan in your bed.” Rarity had been prodding her with questions the whole time. She hadn’t said anything but she felt like she should give in and answer once and for all to make her stop.

“Well to be honest Rarity….he was really warm.” She said blushing “not to mentioned hes kinda squishy so he is basically like a warm pillow.”

“Oh is he now?”

“you know what I mean Rarity!!!”

“Oh but of course dear.”

Twilight wanted to say something else but a noise disturbed her train of thought. She stopped as did her friends and listened to the sound in the distance. It was getting closer and it sounded familiar.

“AAAAHHHHH!!!!” Dan screamed as he ran away from the chickens who kept flanking him from all sides. He through all the feather flying around he could see the spa ahead of him and the girls staring at him in bewilderment. Twilight was the first to say something to the rapidly advancing form.

“Dan…What’s going on here!!!”

“I HAVE….RELEASED…..THE CHICKEN!!!!” he said as he kept running. The girls had mostly made it inside but were still staring as Dan kept trying to outrun the chickens with little success. As he neared the door he jump through the threshold slid on his stomach into the spa as Fluttershy shut the door behind him.

“Oh I’m so sorry Dan I forgot to tell you. My chickens don’t like being disturbed much. If someone riles them up the go into a frenzy sometime…oh I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok Fluttershy it’s completely fine.” There was silence for a little bit before Dan spoke again.

“OK now I could really use that massage.”

Author's Note:

so this is not edited, i havent heard from my editor in awhile so i decided to put this up and then i will put the edited version up when it comes.

So for now things will slow down for Dan....OR WILL THEY!!!!!????!!!!I have a couple of story lines planned out and i know mostly what i am going to do...the only problem is translating that into writing you can read
If you want better updates i post things on the blog about when im writing so follow me if you want better timing
as always thanks for the faves and likes
also i decided that there will be music stuff but i may also see if i can write my own song for a chapter...it may be fun

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