My New Life in Equestria: Helping Has Its Ups and Downs


First published

Waking up in a tree usually doesn't mean its gonna be a good on the other hand I find it to be the least in the short run as i find myself in a world of ponies

Dan wakes up to something he thought couldn't possibly happen. He's in Equestria. He doesn't know how long he is going to be here for or if there may be some greater purpose for him. All he does know is that he woke up in a tree and fell out of said tree and that even in Equestria it still hurts...oh and the ponies are still adorable.
Who knows? maybe this will turn into a bigger adventure with romance and comedy and long as he doesn't do anything too stupid first.
With references, comedy, romance, heartbreak, anger, sadness, giant monsters, and kickass music i give you Dan's story of ADVENTURE!!!

HAZESHIFT 5/24/2014
AND AGAIN!!!! 1/9/2015

Chapter 1: Well if I told you this wasn't a fantasy of mine...I'd be lying - 2020 redux

View Online

Chapter 1: Well if I told you this wasn’t a fantasy of mine, I’d be lying

There are two different ways I’ve found you can wake up from sleep. The first is that nice peaceful kind when you wake up in your bed after getting both enough and not enough sleep; it gives you that peaceful feeling where your brain tries to quickly think if you have anything to do today so you can go back to sleep. The second is the kind where if you had too much to drink, did something painful, or had something painful done to you, and you would wish you had the ability to choose the first option.

This is all relevant because one morning I found myself dealing with the second option. Once consciousness returned to me, I could already tell it was not going to be a good day. Everything hurt and I felt as though I was lying not on slightly soft and worn mattress but rather some big uncomfortable pole. I thought to myself, Okay Dan, what did you do? I took the opportunity to stretch my limbs to see if everything was still working. The pain that went coursing through everything at least told me that I wasn’t crippled… yet. While stretching, my hearing came back and I heard noises that sounded like people gasping coming from… below me? And great...i’m in public too…

“Hello, is someone down there?” I asked, still refusing to open my eyes to save them from the blinding pain of the light of the sun.

I heard some hushed whispers, ranging along the lines of “Oh, it’s conscious!” to “Is it dangerous?” The voices sounded familiar but the hangover meant I couldn’t put my finger on it in the state I was in currently. Besides that, what did they mean by ‘it’?

“You do know I can hear you down there right?. Any chance I could get some help? I’m feeling...well absolutely horrible at the moment.” I decided to try again and put a little more oomph into it. I really didn’t feel like trying to get out of an unknown... whatever I was on by myself.

Silence was all I got in return. Well, that wasn’t technically true; I managed to hear something squeak but, other than that, nothing. I decided to wait about ten seconds to see if I could hear anything from the… 6 people below me from what I guess had heard earlier. And I didn’t know if any of that was true yet. Ten seconds later and still nothing… oh, this was gonna be fun with a capital FU.

“Fine!” I shouted, only regretting it slightly cause of the pain in my head. “I’ll just get myself down!” I said still and rolled not having seen where I was or high up I was or if there was anything underneath me the could impale me, many that would really suck.

“Wait, you shouldn’t-!” Someone shouted but it was a few seconds too late as I was already falling. I found that everything around me was than normal when I finally did open my eyes like the world off-color from how I remembered it. I also saw that I was actually kinda high off the ground. Ten feet minimum, and this was a second or two after I had already started falling. Suddenly this plan didn’t sound so good and would soon not feel so good either, but gravity did not feel like hearing any of my excuses, so I fell. HARD. Thankfully the ground was a bit softer than I had thought. That didn’t stop it from hurting at all but lessened it form a complete pancaking to say...falling down a three-step patio. After that, I decided to just lie there until at least one of two things happened. The first was to just lay there and let the pain go away or possibly pass out then wake up and try again. The other option was that I was hoping that someone would come and help me, hopefully, one of the people the voices I heard earlier belonged to. After lying on the ground for what seemed like five minutes, I was all too ready to just pass out again when finally someone broke the ice with the possible corpse on the ground. I.E. me.

“Ummm… hello… are you alive?” Someone on my left asked and they sounded worried which was nice at least.

“Well.. more or less.. Falling out of a tree isn’t painless you know.” I decided to answer back.

“Y’all alright there Twi? Is it doin’ anything funny?” Someone called out to the person on my left. I still didn’t get this “it” business…and why did these voices sound so familiar to me?

The person next to me or “Twi” called back to her friends just a little bit louder than I would have liked, hangover plus falling on your face pain didn’t tend to go away quickly “Girls, I think you should come over here! This thing speaks Equish!!”

After having enough of this sort of runaround going on I rolled over onto my back, sat up and opened my eyes fully for the first time this morning, and began to ask some questions. “OK what is with this ‘it’ stuff?” I said as I faced whoever had come up to me “And isn’t it considered polite to introduce yourself fir...” The words died in my throat as I came face to face with… purple. Well to be more exact its color was purple. As for the rest of it; it was an animal; it looked like a pony with a horn coming out from its forehead and had huge eyes that at this point probably looked like my own, swelled with surprise…except if my eyes were the size of tea saucers and ten thousand percent more adorable. After I took it all in, everything clicked into place. The reason everything was so pastel-colored, the reason the southern voice I heard before sounded familiar, and also where I had recognized the name “Twi”. And while my brain was busy processing everything and the physics and logic portions had decided to give up and take a vacation, I somehow managed to in control of my faculties enough to hear the purple pony talk.

“Oh I’m sorry you just startled me, allow me to introduce myself; my name is Twilight Sparkle." Okay, that was it, my mind officially blew up. I was somehow sitting next to a cartoon character. I was shocked beyond belief at this point. “And these are my friends!” Twilight said slipping into a more chipper tone. Even though my mind was gone at this point I was still able to move my body, turning my head to the left I managed to see the five other ponies that had joined us and I knew each one of them. Twilight continued, “This is Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy,” went down the line of four. “And this is Pin-” I never got to hear the end of that sentence cause as quickly as she spoke the name, my vision became filled with pink and i felt like I could hear it too..

“HI!! My name is Pinkie Pie!!! OOOOHHH what are you? Are you some kind of DEMON ALIEN MONSTER thing? Huhhuhhuhareyaareyaareya!?” She was talking so fast I couldn’t keep up. Fortunately for me, Rarity decided to step in to help.

“Pinkie darling, you’re going too fast. I’m not sure that IT can keep up, can you…sir?” Rarity did her best to dissuade the pink and soon enough the pink retreated allowing me to see again. Oh and thanks to the sudden shock of being next to LITERAL CARTOON CHARACTERS, I had completely forgotten they have no clue what I am so, of course, they wouldn’t know what I actually was

“Uh, Twilight?” Rainbow interrupted, “Do you think it’s going to stop just staring at us and… I don’t know… do something? Anything” She came close to me and I took more notice of her rainbow hair… mane for ponies,I guess.

I looked at Twilight who looked as puzzled as the rest of her friends as she said “Honestly girls, I have no clue. I guess it’s up to him. What do you think Fluttershy… Fluttershy?” I felt something soft just gingerly touch my right arm and I looked to see whatever touched me. Right next to me was Fluttershy, I hadn’t even noticed her move from where she was before. She seemed a bit scared from just being around me, I couldn’t blame her since I was kinda in the same boat with the whole dealing with some kind fo unreal phenomena

“D-Do you think you can tell us your name, mister creature? If it’s alright with you that is...” She asked in her own peculiar way. I don’t know what it is but something about the kindness in her voice just relaxes you on the inside and makes everything calm. And after hearing her words I decided to calm down a bit and take things one step at a time. I took a deep breath and began.

“Well…” my words got every… ponies attention “I’m Dan… and despite the circumstances-” i glanced up and found a tree branch above me. “it’s nice to meet you all. I guess...”

And with that, it was their turn to all be shocked. Despite knowing that I had apparently spoken their language while I was in the tree...and on the ground. Maybe they just didn’t expect full and coherent sentences from me? But apparently I was now back to square two. And in case you were wondering, square one was the whole tree thing. So I waited ‘til some of them got their bearings. Wasn’t like i had more pressing matters to attend to

“Well at least he seems like a friendly… uh… thing?” Applejack said, being the first to speak up while putting on a sheepish grin.

“Applejack, I’m pretty sure mister Dan here has probably had enough of us calling him names like “thing” and “it” by now and would be delighted to tell us what he is.” Wow, I didn’t expect that at a time like this Rarity would be a voice of reason. I was pretty sure that she would say- “And then we can finally ask him about that clothing he is wearing, it’s so unique but looks absolutely dreadful and definitely not fashionable… hmm, perhaps later I can get a look at them, mmm...” Rarity said and then mumbled off into something I couldn’t hear as I hung my head slightly in shame for thinking Rarity wasn’t working some kind of angle for fashion. A bit of giggling managed to rouse me from my shame and I looked up to see Twilight laughing at what had gone on in the past five or so minutes.

“Well, I think we should head back inside library and from there we can let Dan explain some things. I’ll also need to send a letter to the princesses about what’s happened today.” Twilight suggested

“Well that sounds like a plan, just give me a second to stand up and stretch out my arms and legs.”

“What do you mean stand u-” Twilight started to ask but then gawked as I got to my feet. I have to admit being six foot two did make me like... a lot taller than everyone here… well everyone that wasn’t hovering near me, though I wasn’t sure if that counted, but I wasn’t about to really do anything about it. I smiled when I saw the six of them looking at me with a bit of awe on their faces. It made me chuckle on the inside that when on the ground all of them came up to about waist height on me.

“I guess that you didn’t think I would be this tall?” I asked and got a bunch of head shakes in return. “Well…Where is the library?” I asked and Twilight broke out of her staring state to inform me.

“Oh, we’re actually right outside of it. You uh...fell out of it,” She said and gave a sheepish smile before I looked and then back some and found that yes, the tree branch I had fallen off of was connected to a pretty large tree that also had some windows and a balcony. “Well, that makes a bit more sense now. Okay, lead the way,” I said and followed behind the group as we walked towards one of the entrances. It was a short walk and luckily no one was around to see me and make a scene. Even though I almost hit my head on the door frame on my way in as I thought about that. Which apparently Rainbow had counted on.

“Aww, I was sure you were gonna do it!” she said with a huff as she crossed her forelegs and pouted as she hovered in front of me.

“Sorry to disappoint you now, but give it a while, I’ll forget and probably do it in the future,” I told her and did have to resist an urge to reach out and tussle her mane

“Oh, I’m counting on it,” she said and we had a little bit of a stare down for a minute or two. It was hard to keep staring into those large magenta eyes. Fortunately for me, Twilight interrupted us.

“Okay, I just sent the letter to the princess; thank goodness Spike and I figured out I could send letters to him since he is with her for business. Now, would you mind if we took some time we asked you some questions, Dan.” Twilight said and I looked from Rainbow Dash to see everyone else had settled down and Twilight was floating over a considerable-sized stack of paper along with some ink and a few quills. Even though they didn’t know that I already knew quite a few things about them and their...universe? I couldn’t exactly say that I knew about them and magic, and everything else.

“Okay, fine with me.” I said chuckling “Although I have to admit waking up to a world of technicolor ponies and being question by a purple… unicorn, right? Was not even remotely on my list of things that could happen today.” I said, giving an answer

“Yes, Unicorn ponies is the correct term for Rarity and I, just like Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy are called Pegasus ponies, while Applejack and Pinkie Pie would be called Earth ponies.”

“Good to know,” I said, answering like I was taking in the information

“But you’re mistaken about one thing, Dan!” She said while giving sharp glare my way, “I am not purple! My coat is lavender, there’s a difference!”

“Well, I’m colorblind!” I shot back and caught off guard, “ Actually I think what I have is technically called Color Vision Deficiency but anyway, purple or lavender, it definitely is a cute color on you Twilight.” It was just a small compliment considering that to me they pretty much all looked cute and adorable. But after hearing a couple of “oohs” from the rest of the girls and seeing Twilight blush, I saw the error of my ways… sort of. I started backpedaling. “Wha- what I meant was tha- that…”

Twilight cut me off, as floated the first of what was probably going to be many pieces of parchment “It’s okay Dan, thank you for the…compliment…Let’s get started!”



Princess Celestia sat in her royal chamber. Joined by Princess Luna, the royal couple Princess Cadence and Prince (although he didn’t prefer the title) Shining Armor, and Spike. They were in the midst of a conversation over tea when Spike belched and let out a green tuft of flame which turned into a scroll.

“Oh, excuse me.” Spike apologized and chuckled at his bad table manners.

Shining Armor, being of a common stallion mind, simply waved it off, “It’s okay, Spike. We know it’s just Twily sending the Princess a letter.”

“Oh, it’s been a while since I got to see this!” Cadence was a bit excited that Twilight had sent Celestia a letter, it reminded her of the good old days back when Twilight was a filly. “What does it say, Auntie?”

Celestia just smiled as she floated the letter over in her golden aura, unfurled the scroll. “Ahem… Dear Princess Celestia, I believe that I have finally gotten that inter-dimensional spell that I found in the restricted section of the archives to work. While attempting it under the supervision of my friends, the spell went off and at first, nothing happened; that is until something crashed into my tree…” Celestia paused mid-read to look up at everyone at the table to make sure none had bolted already before resuming. “And when we went to check outside we found that there was some kind of being in my tree. After he fell out a couple of minutes later, of his own accord, I promise, I proceeded to move closer and see if he was friendly.” Celestia stopped, not even bothering to finish whatever was left of the message, and looked around the room and just as she had thought they all had looks of worry on their faces just like the one she felt forming on her own. “Guards!!!! Prepare the chariots for use here, we need to leave for Ponyville immediately!!!” She shouted as she rose, her doors flinging open in her magic, and the formerly posted guards running down the hallway as they obeyed their orders.

Luna was the first to speak again, as she fell in behind her sister. “Sister, there is more on the letter,” she said as she floated the letter back in front of Celestia who kept walking.

“After finding out that he -as Fluttershy has told us so far- is named Dan, the girls and I introduced ourselves and invited him into the library so that we could ask him a few questions. Also, he seems to be bipedal and very tall, possibly taller than you, Princess. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.” She finished reading as castle staff kept moving out of her and the group’s way.

After finishing the letter, the group moved quickly to their chariots where they climbed aboard and set off. “And by ‘a few’ I’m sure she meant a few dozen. She’ll probably go through our whole month’s paper stash,” Spike snarked

“All I know is that this ‘Dan’ better not try anything stupid. Especially around Twilight,” Shining said with a look of anger in his eyes while his wife tried to calm him down a little.

“Shining, we shouldn’t judge him yet. I bet he’s just talking nicely with Twilight and the girls about… whatever he is. Plus Twilight can pretty much take care of combat,” Cadence said, having to amend her statement when she caught Spike’s raised eyebrow at her words. Luna seemed to agree with Cadence and looked to her sister to see what she thought about this whole subject. Like everyone she had no clue what this new creature was or what it was capable of.

“Sister, what are your thoughts on the matter here?” She asked.

“...When we get there, we shall see what the creature’s intentions are, and if they do not a standard then we shall take some form of action,” Cleetiua answered after a pause. “But for now let us hope that this Dan also wishes that this all end up peacefully.”




“Oh, bless you, Dan. That was a pretty large sneeze there. Are you okay?”

“Yeah… maybe someone is talking about me… if that really is a thing that happens. Also did anyone else here something suspiciously like a scene transition?... Nevermind. So what’s your first question?”


“Note to self, cut down on the Dun Duns, or at least alter the connection to this plane so that they won’t be heard heard. Also, look over the trajectory of summoning portals...he shouldn’t have ended up in that tree like that...

Chapter 2: My fantasy has too much pain at the moment - 2020 redux

View Online

Chapter 2: ….Well…. I don’t think this day will get easier

I watched Twilight pace around the room, zooming back and forth as office supplies floated overhead. She almost tripped over her hooves in anticipation at least once, but it wasn’t every day you got to ask questions to a new kind of species that you summoned from who knows where. Or at least that’s what I thought she was thinking.

“Twilight, are you almost done? You’re taking forever!” I heard Rainbow call out and snap Twilight out of her little automated process

“I’m just making sure we have all the necessary things so that I can- I mean we can ask Dan all the questions we can think of. Does that sound reasonable, Dan?” she asked and I could feel that this was gonna be a long process.

“Uh sure, but would it be okay if I asked you guys some questions about this place too?” But I still had to play along with my whole “This is weird and I still don’t know where I am” schtick.

“Oh, a back and forth collaboration on the cultures of two new and recently introduced species and civilizations! That’s a great idea!” Twilight squealed and I looked to the closest windows to check for cracks. Twilight looked like she was about to burst into pieces from fun and happiness…or just like Pinkie on a regular day. I knew that they would probably ask some questions that I really wouldn’t want to answer but…. I honestly didn’t know if I could lie to hem. Curse their pony cuteness! “Dan, if you’re ready, you can have a seat wherever you like,” Twilight said which broke me out of my little trance. I decided to just have a seat on the couch that was in the library. Which by the way, a library made out of a tree is pretty cool. I managed to not flop down on the couch, it was lower to the ground than what I considered normal for a couch. I sat down comfily for about half a minute before a blur of something that felt like an impossible cross between a pillow and a cannonball hit me in the stomach. Needless to say, this day wasn’t turning all sunshine and rainbows.

“Pinkie...dear, don’t you think that you should have at least warned Dan before you did… that… and why are you still sitting on him?” Rarity tried to come to my rescue.

“Well I thought that he looked kinda squishy and wanted to know, so I jumped on him, and he is! And now he just feels kinda comfortable so he makes a pretty good seat!” Pinkie said from my lap while I ignored the “squishy” comment.

“Pinkie Pie…you are just-!” Rainbow Dash didn’t even finish her statement as she laughed at the sight of Pinkie sitting in my lap.

“Jealous you didn’t think of it first Dash? Maybe you wanna perch on my shoulder like an eagle instead?” I said and okay, yes, this time I was aiming to embarrass Rainbow Dash, and managed to succeed in my mission. But before a semi scarlet Rainbow could get some backlash, Applejack stepped in with a question.

“Uh, Pinkie, don’t ya think you still shoulda asked Dan before you cannonballed right into him?” she asked to which Pinkie then swiveled her head around to look up at me. She had on this puppy dog look that said both “I’m sorry” and “pweeeaasse?” all at the same time… and like I said before, curse pony cuteness.

“Eh, its okay Applejack. She reminds me of one of my cats,” I told Applejack

“Alrighty then sugarcube, Ah just hope ya know what you’re in for.” she shrugged as Twilight finally got everything that she needed and everyone else found a seat somewhere around me while Pinkie was sat in my lap.

“Okay Dan, we’re going to start with some easy questions. Ahem… first question; what’s your full name?” Twilight, of course, started it all off.

“Daniel William Allen.”

“Okay, next question; what are you… species, I mean?”

“Human; and if you want to be precise, I believe scientifically I’m called Homosapien Sapien.”

“Oh, your species speaks Latineighian?”


“Okay then, well next can you tell us about your biology.”

“Well as you said earlier, I am bipedal, I got two legs and-”

“Wait, if you only got two legs then what are these other two things you got stickin’ out of you?” Rainbow interrupted by grabbing my arms with her hooves and flailing them about in a funny way. Wait, how did she pick my arms up with hooves?

“They’re called arms and my hands are attached to them.” I showed them my hands and flexed them a bit. I got six little “oohs” for showing my hands, like children seeing a simple magic trick. Fluttershy weirdly enough was the next to ask something.

“Um… what… what do you do with your um... hands?”

“The same things you guys do: grabbing stuff, opening stuff, writing, cooking, petting animals, massaging, scratching an itch…”

“OH OH! Did you say scratching itches?” Pinkie interrupted

“Yes, Pinkie I did.”

“Okie Dokie then cause well I got a super-duper itchy scratch down at the bottom of my neck but I can’t bend my hooves that way; do you think you could scratch it for me?”

“Pinkie, that is a very unladylike thing to ask from someone we haven’t spent a lot- oh…” Rarity started to chide Pinkie but I didn’t mind helping her out in this situation. If I had a scratch I couldn’t reach I would probably ask a friend for help. I finally got to feel how soft a ponies fur can be, it reminded me of my blanket from when I was a kid…and yes I still have the blanket… for memories of course. Reaching down to the base of Pinkies neck I lightly brought my fingers over her fur and I felt pinkie tense up a little bit but from there she proceeded to basically melt. Weirdly enough I kind of expected this but still didn’t think that she would almost literally melt in my lap.

“Oh wow, that’s… that’s just fantastic.” Pinkie sleepily slurred. That was probably the least amount of words at that slow of a speed I had ever heard Pinkie say… ever. The rest of the girls looked at me and Pinkie in some kind of astonishment.

“What? Its no big deal. Alright, now it’s time for me to ask questions. Twilight, tell me about this place, I’m in an unknown land so fill in the gaps about here, and if anything that might be different in my world; I’ll tell you.” I decided it was probably a good idea to shift gears and move everyone’s attention away from what was happening in my lap.

Twilight brightened at this “Okay then, well you’re in the land of Equestria, one of a few nations on the planet Equis. We are the biggest nation so others look to us for help. Most of the inhabitants are ponies, but we live together with a bunch of other animals but some don’t or can’t talk. We are ruled by two Princesses who move the sun and the moon to turn day into night and night into day. Unicorn ponies have the ability to use magic to do many things. While Pegasi ponies can move clouds and stage different weather events. And lastly, we have Earth ponies who are more intoned with nature so they can grow things better than most can.”

“Wow, that’s a lot different than where I’m from.”

“What is it like where you’re from Dan?”

“Well, for starters, we live on a planet called Earth, the sun, moon, stars, and weather all kinda do their own thing, we can’t control them… or at least not yet anyway; we are...were experimenting with weather stuff. We don’t have magic per se, we have people who call themselves magicians and perform illusions that fool your eyes and stuff; you know like card tricks and the like. Okay, I got a question, what’s you’re level of technology?”

Weirdly enough, Applejack responded first. “Well, up on the farm we got all your basic tools. Hammer, saws, screwdrivers, and we have a plow or two for tillin’ the fields when we need to.”

“And at my boutique, I make wondrous works of fashion. I have a couple of sewing machines as well as a washer and dryer for any cleaning that may need to be done.” Rarity gave more of a mission statement than an answer but I didn’t want to say anything about that

And then from my lap Pinkie Pie congealed back into a solid form and contributed. “Oh, and at Sugercube Corner we have a bunch of kitchen-y gadgets which we use to make and bake delicious goodies for everybody to eat!”

Twilight then resumed control, “And besides those, we also have typewriters, pens, pencils, and quills for writing. As for travel, we have carts that can be pulled by ponies, hot air balloons, airships, and trains that can run on both pony power and coal. Oh, and for the more scientific-minded like myself, we just began using these machines called computers!”

Oh boy, she used the “C” word, now I had to dig in. Doing my best to hold back all my sarcasm and snark I asked “Oh really, computers? What specifications, Twilight?”.

“Well down in my lab I managed to get on of the better models on the market on the market, it runs on five hundred kilobytes which is...” it took about five seconds before I couldn’t keep myself from snorting in laughter and ended up interrupting Twilight, which earned me a puzzled look for which once again I say, curse pony cuteness.

“Sorry Twilight, but just hearing you say 500 kilobytes takes me back.”

“Oh, do you humans have computers on Earth?”

“Yeah, but they are a bit more powerful than the ones here.”

“Really? How much!?” I could see the joy and eagerness to know in her eyes.

“Well let’s see, last time I checked you could get a computer with a couple of terabytes worth of space.”

Much later on I would remember this as the first time I thought I broke Twilight. She went wide-eyed and her jaw looked like it might hit the floor. She just fell back sat there on her… haunches (I believed this was the correct term) staring into space. I decided to try and poke her back into consciousness. I slowly reached over and poked her in her side and she fell over like a frozen statue, weird wobbling stone on wood floor sound effect included somehow. I started to worry that I may have just shocked a pony to death, as did everyone else in the room.

“Twi, are you alright there?”

“Twilight are you having one of your egghead comas again?”

“Ha! She looks just like Gummy does when he’s having fun!”

“Oh my, Twilight are you okay?”

“Twilight darling, could you please snap out of it and please tell us less technologically inclined what a… “terabyte” is?” Apparently the word “terabyte” was what brought her back to which I swear to some...something, she moved faster than Rainbow Dash, and was completely in my face. It kinda scared me for the speed she showed off right there.

“TERABYTES!? Your computers have TERABYTES!? Do you know how much work ponies could do with TERABYTES!? THAT’S SIMPLY AMAZING!!”

“Yeah yeah, I know what you’re saying, now let’s just calm down and back up a bit.” It took Twilight a second to realize that while she was screaming at me that she also had moved very very close to me, we were face to face with the tip of her snout super close to touching my nose. It took her another second to realize that it seemed awkward and she backed off very quickly.

“Oh I’m sorry, it’s just that, I never thought I would hear about technology that far ahead. Oh and sorry girls, a terabyte as it is called, when compared to my computer would be about ninety billion kilobytes, so you may be able to see why I was so excited.”

I saw mixed reactions from at least four of the girls; Rarity and Pinkie seemed to get it but Applejack and Rainbow Dash were a completely different story. The next thing I noticed was that I didn’t know where Fluttershy was, but then I felt a nudge in my side

“Um, excuse me, Dan?” Fluttershy had apparently walked up right next to me without or anyone else noticing. I guess being meek has some perks.

“Girls SHHHH, Fluttershy has a question.”

All eyes then focused on the yellow Pegasus as she asked me the question I had hoped I wouldn’t have to answer this soon.

“Well, Mr. Dan… I was wondering what exactly do humans… eat?” Well...Fluttershy did not waste any time in getting straight to one of the questions that made my heart rate jump.

“Well, humans are mostly omnivores, with others capable of going vegetarian and vegan. I answered and silence rang still over the library. I saw some side glances between everyone, a raised eyebrow or two. And then I thought some clarification might help. “And yes I do eat meat. But mostly I’ll eat anything in general if it’s put in front of me, especially if it’s free.” The little joke I tacked onto the end seemed to work as I got a couple of chuckles and a few giggles

“Have you ever eaten a pony?” But it was just not enough to deter Fluttershy who then really went for the throat with her next question. I could tell she wasn’t asking about humans or anything, just me, sitting there surrounded by small colorful ponies.

“No, I don’t, haven’t, and nor have I ever sought out to.”

“Oh, okay then.” And just like that, she was satisfied. Though not exactly the words I expected to hear.

“That’s it? No giant talk about morals or anything?” I asked not knowing why I felt compelled to push the point further.

“Well Dan, we do have animals such as bears that eat other things like fish, not to mention the dangerous animals in the Everfree Forest. And if we didn’t mention it there are nations filled with creatures like griffins who do eat meat and such. We know its probably something instilled in your life from a young age and goes back to early ages of your race and culture so it’s fine as long as you do not try to eat a pony, okay?” I wanna go on record as to say that this is the Equestrian World Record for both hearing words from Fluttershy in a single sitting and her speaking words in a single setting. I froze, it now being my turn to be broken, and Rainbow Dash didn’t hesitate to joke about it.

“Hey Twilight look, first you broke him after he fell out of the tree; and now Flutters here broke him, HA! Equestria 2, Earth 1.”

“Dan, do you realize that being in a society of vegetarians you probably won’t have access to meat?” Twilight brought up a reasonable point.

I snapped out of my stupor long enough to answer “Hmm? Oh yeah, but like I said, I’m not entirely picky, I can eat almost anything put in front of me.

“What about an all dessert diet? Pinkie volunteered.

“Oh, I could totally do that...up until the point where it would affect my health and shorten my lifespan considerably. I told Pinkie who didn’t even so much as flinch at my kinda macabre words and hear a couple of “tell me about it,”s that sounded like they came from Rarity and Rainbow Dash. Pinkie looked like she might ask another question but before she could, there was a sudden knock at the door.

“Hmm, I wonder who that could be?” Twilight said

“Don’t worry Twilight, I’ll get it.” I volunteered, moving Pinkie off my lap and getting up to the door not thinking about how someone would react to seeing me at the door. But I didn’t get a lot of time to consider the ramifications of that because as soon as I reached the door I heard something very loud. And then I felt it.

“TWILIGHT SPARKLE, ARE YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS OKAY WITHIN YOUR HOUSE AND WHAT ABOUT THE BEING YOU SUMMONED TODAY!!!” a truly loud voice spoke and the shock wave from the intense volume and air pressure that came with it blew the door open and straight towards me. Where it proceeded to hit me in the face and send me flying off my feet, back a few feet into the room, over the couch, and onto my back again for what I would later tally would be the third time today… If there ever was a day where karma decided to look heavily upon me, today would be the day. Now, this next part I wasn’t exactly “there” for but I was told what happened by Pinkie Pie. So after the shouting had ceased and I had been batted across the room, Twilight got up from the floor after everyone had dived to avoid She quickly rushed out her front door and found Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, Cadence, Spike, and also a small contingent of armed and at the ready royal guards, at least twenty ponies. She didn’t, however, see her brother.

“Twily!!!” This is why she barely any time to react before she was picked up by her brother and given a big hug while also moving her towards the princesses and guards. She was still very confused.

“Shiny! What are all of you doing here!?” Twilight had asked.

“Well, we got your letter that you sent telling us about how you managed to summon something from who knows when and where, and we thought it might be incredibly dangerous so we all rushed over here to see if you needed possible rescuing,” Shining stated calmly after he put Twilight down.

“But why? I never said he was dangerous and I’ve helped save the world at least three times with my friends, so I liked to think I can handle myself.” Twilight asked, and started to form an argument but stopped when a larger shadow fell over her.

“That may be true Twilight,” Princess Celestia spoke this time, “Those things may be all true my Twilight. But in your success of completing the summoning spell, the rules have now changed slightly. Consider immigration matter,”

“But my friends and I have been talking with him, mostly since he got here and he seems really nice so far. Also, we were in the middle of a back and forth information exchange, and everything was progressing smoothly” Twilight said, and besides the princesses, Cadence, Shining, and Spike, every guard knew that a “back and forth information exchange” was just a smart Twilight Sparkle way of saying that she had just started asking him a legitimate ton of questions. Legitimate, since the amount of paper she could use writing answers and other questions had at other times been found to weigh an actual ton.

Shining, Brotherly instincts after that and he got defensive after hearing that, and in a slightly angry tone, he said “Oh, so he’s inside the house? What is he doing now?”



“He’s loopy!” a shout caused the outside group to turn back to the library to find Rainbow Dash sitting in the library doorway.

“What?” many of the guards gave each other side glances and small smiles as their charges commanders simultaneously asked the same question with varying inflection.

“Yeah, when Luna went and got all super loud and blew the door in and clocked him hard enough to send him flying through the air a good-” Rainbow paused to look back into the library. “Six feet. Went straight over the couch. Pretty sure the door hit the front of his head while the floor hit the back so… I’d say possible concussion” Rainbow finished with a shrug and multiple gazes went to Princess Luna who managed to find an interesting spot on the ground to look at.

“Ah yes, I am sorry about that Twilight Sparkle. I was just anxious and concerned for you and The Elements safety.” Luna apologized but still didn’t make eye contact with anyone.

“It’s not a problem Princess. But please, maybe a little warning next time,” Twilight said and was when that Cadence joined the conversation and turned out to be the voice of reason.

“Twilight, do you think we could come in and see this “Dan” for ourselves? Without the guards, weapons, and threat of using said weapons against him?” she said throwing a glance to Shining Armor. Who dropped his defensive posture slightly.

“Oh sure Cadence, in fact, we should really go and check if he’s actually hurt or not. That’s the third time he has hit his head today.” Twilight agreed with Cadence and quickly lead her, Shining, Spike, Celestia, and Luna into the library So all together three alicorns, two unicorns, and one dragon walked into the library and saw the rest of Twilight’s friends gathered around the back of the couch where over top my leg dangled limply. This is also where I slowly started coming to.

“Girls, is Dan alright?” I heard Twilight ask, albeit everything sounded like the sound was coming through syrup.

Rainbow gave her opinion. “Eh, I think he’s just being a baby. I’ve had landings harder than that.”

Rarity chided her poor thinking, “Yes Rainbow, but do you think that Dan is made out of the same stuff you are?”

“Yeah yeah yeah I get it, but I still think he should be taking it better.”

“Hey, you try getting hit in the face multiple times in a short period and being fine.” I snapped at no one in particular, not taking take into account that anyone in the room might have had that happen to them. But then again, I may have had a concussion so diminished thinking was probably going to happen regardless.

I heard someone clear their throat and managed to sit up enough to find The Princess Celestia looking at me with what I could guess was a mixture of surprise, defensiveness, worry, and regal professionalism “Ahem, are you the being called ‘Dan’?”

“Yes, that’s me?” I answered as the spot and swirls finally went away and my equilibrium came back.

“My name is Princess Celestia, co-ruler of Equestria and my sister, Princess Luna, and I have come here to ascertain knowledge about you and your intentions,” she said

“Oh, you have? Then please tell me that the whole blowing the door open with a sonic boom and throwing me across the room like a kid’s toy was the prelude to a medical test?” Ok, I may not have been back to full Equilibrium since my first reaction to the Princesse’s words were to be a good bit snarkier than I most likely would have to any royalty, not just the pony kind. The ponies in the room stopped. The first words that I had spoken to their princess had been a joke; maybe they thought this could go badly for me. Luckily enough for me, Princess Celestia started to chuckle and then broke out into full laughter. Twilight thinking something was off immediately tried to calm the situation.

“Oh, I’m sorry Princess, he didn’t mean it! I’m sure Dan could do very better for his first impression with you! He will definitely take that joke ba-” Twilight started to apologize, zipping to my side and ready to come to my defense, but was stopped by Celestia raising her hoof as she slowly stopped laughing. After wiping a tear from her eye she looked to Twilight and spoke.

“Twilight, it’s quite alright, what Dan here has shown that he has more of a way with words and that his character looks to be more forgiving. It’s a very good first step.” Celestia looked at me and gave a smile smiling nod. I after finally sitting upright, nodded back.

“See Twilight, it’s not all that bad. Jokes are a way to clear the air, you just need to slow down sometimes and look on the bright side of life.” I quipped as and put a hand on Twilight’s head and ruffled her mane a bit. His hand was promptly smacked away by Shining who still looked a bit peeved at Dan.

“Hey, watch whose sister you’re touching pal!”

“Oops sorry, didn’t mean to offend, right Twilight?” Dan kept smiling a soft warm smile like he hadn’t just been smacked in some way… again. Twilight turned her head away quickly for some reason that I didn’t couldn’t figure out. But years later Cadence told me that caught everything and a small idea had immediately popped into the back of her head, and it would stay there ‘til she decided to bring it up, it had still made her deviously happy though.

Princess Luna was the next to address Dan, “So, Dan is it? Are you able to stand?”

“Oh yeah, just give me a second please.” I didn’t take a long time to get up and when I did I confirmed something that I had been thought about. I was taller than Princess Celestia by a couple of inches, the tip of her horn looking like it would be right between my eyebrows from where I was standing and that was as close as I was going to get. “Hey! Tallest guy in the room! Just please don’t poke my eye out with that thing.” I joked and got Celestia to chuckle a bit.

“I’ll try not to. But as for the matter at hand Dan, we would like it if you came to the palace for some questions, would that be okay?” She asked as she motioned to the door. I looked at the princess, and then the other princess, then at the other other princess, then at all the other ponies, and in the back of my head I thought to myself, “What’s the worst that could happen in a happy colorful pony world?” Looking back on it all...this was a dumb thought.

“Sure, I don’t see why not? I guess I did skip the customs and TSA parts of my trip here,” I joked and started to laugh but stopped when I found nothing but blank stares looking back at me. Even Pinkie wasn’t laughing. “Oh...right, references that don’t track. How about we forget about that and pretend I stopped talking after agreeing,”

“Good. Twilight you and your friends will come as well.” Celestia said as she walked out the door with myself and others automatically beginning to fall in behind her.

“Sure thing Princess,” Twilight said as I got to the door and that was when I felt like I forgot something really important. That feeling was interrupted by the sense of something meeting directly with the center of my forehead, painfully. I’m guessing that everyone reacted to this a bit differently when I yelped in pain and doubled over with my head in my hands. All I knew for sure was that Rainbow was the first to say something.

“AWWW! I MISSED IT! I knew he was gonna hit his head eventually and the one time I look away he goes and does it! Ponyfeathers.” if my eyes were open and didn’t currently have tears in the way I would have rolled them so hard.

But from my hunched-over position, I managed to say “Yeah, one person’s pain in another pony’s punch line.” and let out a laugh that only hurt a little bit. “So Princess Celestia, could you please tell me where this palace of yours is located?" I asked as I straightened out and rubbed the pain away, I already knew the answer, but I still had to play along

She turned and pointed with her nose and even on a pony as tall as she was it was still adorable, yet regal “The city of Canterlot.”

For whatever reason, I felt my Monty Python senses rising. And so I pressed, “Canterlot?”

“Canterlot.” She replied nodding.

And then in a low gravelly mocking voice, I quietly spoke “It’s only a model.”

“Hm? What was that Dan?” she asked.

“Nothing,” I said through my giggling, “Just having some fun at my own expense… Shall we be off, then?” I deflected or at least hoped I was.

“Yes, I think this will be an eventful day,” she responded as we checked that everyone was accounted for. Once we were all on chariots, which for me just seemed to appear out of nowhere we set off into the sky for the royal palace.

Chapter 3: It's the end of the beginning of a Quentin Tarantino movie... (Please tell me you get that?)

View Online

Chapter 3: It’s the end of the beginning of a Tarantino movie… (Please tell me you get that)

The flight to Canterlot didn’t take long probably twenty minutes at most, what did take longer was for me to get over the fact that I was in an open air chariot. Have to say that after only flying on planes, being on something that flies that doesn’t have a roof kinda scares you a bit. So I spent the ride curled up in the fetal position in the middle of a chariot. Naturally this caused some questions to spring up from the girls.

“Dan, is everything alright? Do they have chariots where you are from?” Fluttershy asked. She is such a caring soul.

“Yeah we did, but they stayed on the GROUND!” I exclaimed in a panicked voice.

Next to Fluttershy was Twilight who was taking notes on how Dan was handling being in the chariot. So far he hadn’t been afraid of anything not her and her friends, and not even the princesses really. Maybe where he came from they didn’t have vehicles that flew with this much open space. It was all so curious to her.

“Dan is there anything we can do to help?”

“No, just the sooner we get to Canterlot the better please!!”

For Dan it was a long twenty minutes; but arriving in Canterlot brightened his spirits considerably. For one he had never seen a city that was basically built into a cliff, and two, besides the castle at Disney World, he had never seen an actual castle. The group of chariots landed right outside of the palace gates. There was a line of guards pushing back various ponies, one that had cameras and ones that had notepads. It turns out that all the royalty leaving the castle in a hurried and dramatic fashion attracted quite a fair amount of attention.

The newsponies were wondering why the Princesses and royal couple had left and come back with the bearers of the Elements of Harmony. They were about to start asking questions the only way a newspony knows how…loudly, but the crowd noticed something rise out of the same chariots the bearers were in. None of them could tell what it was they had never seen a creature like that. The shouting had stopped and everyone stared at this creature. It walked on two legs and appeared to have two limbs sprouting from its body. It glanced over at the crowd and even one twitched in fright. It got out of the chariot, and moved towards them, some ponies considered running away in fear but most were frozen in fear. Things got even worse when everyone heard it speak.

“Well is this big group here for little old me? Heh, I guess I’m a celebrity now?”

Everything was dead silent except for the faint sound of a goat bleating in the background for some odd reason. “Tough crowd huh?” The creature spoke in plain Equish.

Princess Celestia walked up next to Dan to try to pull him away from the crowd. “Dan we should move inside the palace, these ponies will be here for hours trying to figure out exactly what you are.”

“Fine with me princess.” Dan turned and began to head for the gates when one voice suddenly cried out.

“Wait!!!” a voice yelled.

Dan turned around to see that a mare (as he had been told about pony genders) had stepped out to the front of the crowd and was standing her ground in front of him on shaking legs. He walked up to her, simply towering over her looking down. He then sat down with his legs folded so he could be eye to eye with this mare.

“Can I help you?” The creature asked her in a calm tone, he gave her a calm smile it sort of relaxed her. But the nervousness was still reflected in her voice as her voice finally came forth.

“Wha…What are you?”

Dan chuckled as this mare asked her question. On the inside his childish side was just begging him “Just say “I’m Batman” and walk away oh please oh please oh please!!!” He mentally slapped that option down. He looked around the crowd and then back to the mare.

“Well, first off my name is Dan…what’s yours?”

The mare was shocked that it was asking something about her. She considered not saying anything but always remembered what her mother told her, “If somepony gives you their name you should give yours out of respect young lady” Since being in the news business she always believed that respect was the key to getting some of the info you needed.

“It’s Crystal…Crystal Clear.”

“Well Crystal, I tell you what. In the case that I’m still in Equestria in a couple of hours, let’s hope so. I will give you and only you the full exclusive on me!” Dan said in a chipper voice.

This was when Dan noted something else about pony cuteness. That when they are in a shock coming from happiness their eyes get even bigger than physics should allow. Physics is now cursing pony cuteness.

“B-B…Bu..But why me?”, she asked still stunned by the opportunity Dan had given her.

“The journey of a thousand miles begins with but a single step.” And with that Dan got back to his feet and walked back to Princess Celestia who was the only person their now aside from her guards. He guessed that the others had went inside.

“That saying was very eloquent Dan.” The princess gave him a compliment.

“It wasn’t mine, it’s an old proverb back where I come from…I mean the planet dimension thing not where I live exactly.”

“Ah I see…what does it mean exactly?”

“That even the longest and most difficult ventures have a starting point.”

“Do you think it might be hard for you here Dan?” Dan noted some worry in her voice

“I’ve been hurt today more than average by my own self…let me get through the rest of today first and I’ll think about it princess.”

“Fine enough Dan, oh and you can simply call me Celestia.”

Dan paused to think for a second “Hmm, is this because you’re tired of everyone treating you so properly and you just want a bit of normal conversation, so you can unwind to someone who will try to understand.”

Now Celestia paused “How did you…”

“I can be a good judge of character when I want to. I judged that since you're one of the rulers of this land and move a giant nuclear ball of flaming gas at your will, it can be hard to have someone give you a straight and honest answer; so besides you sister who is also in your predicament there is not really anypony to vent to.”

Celestia was silent as they continued walking into the palace, but right before they reached two giant ornate doors; she stopped.

“You're right Dan.”

“I’m sorry I…”

“No no, none of that it is good to know that someone can see what I need, hopefully I can call upon you to “vent” to.”

“No problem Celestia”

They shared a laugh as Celestia used her magic to open the doors. On the other side was a throne room where two thrones sat at the far end. The whole group was in the room and, as usual, Rainbow Dash was impatient.

“Jeez Dan it took you long enough…Oh hey princess.”

“Yeah well I had to promise a brand new reporter her first big scoop of her career.” Dan gave a cocky smile as Celestia gave him a confused look.

“How did you know that?”

“She had a brand new pencil and notepad which had never been used and had a temporary badge to someplace called Equestria Daily.”

“That was very observant of you. Now to the matters at hand” Celestia said as she moved to her throne. Once she had taken her seat she spoke again.

“Dan the uh…”

“Human, princess.” Twilight added

“Human; thank you Twilight. You were summoned here by my student Twilight Sparkle.”

“I guess that’s how I ended up in the tree.”

“Quite. Now I have since gone over Twilight’s notes on what they have asked you so far. I would like to know more about wherever it is you come from but I have a more pressing question. It seems that you are very comfortable in this land of ours and seem to have knowledge of this place…I would like to know if you do and how you have obtained it.

OK now besides the whole “I eat meat thing” this was definitely one of the questions I was worried about coming up. After thinking about it I just decided to answer honestly and in the best way I could.

“Well…you are right about me knowing about this world and you and your ponies Celestia.” Gasps came from almost everyone in the room. And quicker than I could blink, Rainbow was in my face.

“WHAT!!! What is that supposed to mean, huh? Are you a spy?”

“No Rainbow, I’m not a spy…I want to tell you how I know you all, but I honestly can’t even begin to think about telling you how I know what I do.

Silence hung heavy in the room. No one really knew how to approach this. That is until Luna spoke up.

“I think I might know of a solution. Instead of thinking and trying to speak how about we let your mind do all the thinking?”

Apparently Celestia knew what she wanted to do “Luna that is a great idea; we can enter his mind and he can just show us what he wants to show us.”

I didn’t even think they could do that. “Um is it safe…that’s really my only concern here?”

“Oh besides some mild nausea, there isn’t anything bad that can happen.”

“Girls what do you think?” I asked wanting to hear their opinions.

“We’ve never been in somepony else’s mind before, it will be pretty neat!” Twilight spoke for the rest of the group.

Everyone; even Shining and Cadence, were in on this so I decided that it couldn’t hurt.

Celestia then stood and moved over to her sis as their horns began to glow.

“Alright then, everyone be prepared this may feel a bit weird.”

The glow from their horns then mixed and spread over everyone in the room. Dan felt a tingly effect come over him, and then his vision went black; not like he was passing out. He blinked his eyes and then he realized he was in an entirely pitch black room with everyone that had been standing in the throne room.

Shining felt like being a little on the defensive side “So where exactly are we now.”

Celestia offered up an explanation. “Right now we are in the “entrance” to Dan’s mind. If he were to think of anything it would show to us here.”

“Ooh that sound cool but first I wanna try something out.” Dan took a deep breath and then started to shout.


He waited a few seconds before and echo came back. “HELLO!!!”







Everyone watched him puzzled at why he was doing this and sure enough after thinking for a few seconds he shouted again.


This time there was more of pause before the echo came back


This made everyone laugh for about a minute, even though Twilight was astounded by how an echo would come back different.

“Don’t think about it too much Twi; it’s my mind even I don’t think it makes sense.” Dan reassured her.

Celestia took the reins from there “Well then Dan, how this should work is think about what you need to tell us and it should pop up here and we should be able to comprehend and understand it.”

“Well OK then. Now then everyone a bit of rules. Please keep all arms and legs inside the ride at all times and questions if there are any will be answered at the end.” Dan started to concentrate about everything he knew about these ponies which came from a TV show back from his dimension called My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

The information came out like someone had opened a floodgate. Twilight and her friends saw all their adventures up until Shining and Cadence’s wedding. Everyone besides Pinkie seemed to be having a bit of a hard time with this.

“OH, COOL!! I remember doing all this cookie and crazy things…HEY there’s the time I thought you guys didn’t like my parties anymore and I went all loco in the coco!!!”

After it all stopped everyone looked towards Dan, he didn’t look so good and Twilight offered her help.

“Dan are you OK?”

“I…I feel….nauseous.”

“I think….I’m gonna need…”

Celestia magicked up a trash can and floated it over to Dan “This should help.”

Dan accepted the trash can, nodded his head politely at Celestia and then vomited into the trash can.


He held his head at the rim of the basket for a couple of seconds before he decided to speak again.

“OK I think that was every-HURAGHGGHLGHLGHLG!!!” Apparently it was not…all of it.

After he vomited a second time he settled down and gave himself a little time to adjust once that was over he began again.

“OK so…any questions on everything you guys just saw?”

Celestia had the only pertinent question at the time; so she asked.

“Yes. How do you think the adventures of Twilight and her friends as well as things about us were first seen in your world?

“Well the person who came up with the idea for the show is a person by the name of Lauren Faust.” Dan quickly noticed that both Luna and Celestia both flinched when they heard the name “Faust”.

“From what I can think about it is that the events that transpired here somehow “leaked” into my dimension to my planet, and into the head of Lauren who then brought you to life in a children cartoon whose popularity took off like a rocket.”

Celestia mulled over the answer for awhile and then went a little ways off into my mind to confer with her sister. Meanwhile I went to talk Everyone else.

“So how is everyone taking this?”

Cadence spoke up in a happy manor. “Even though it’s kind of weird seeing it again it sure is nice to know that people saw my wedding…and my husband not noticing that I was switched out for the changeling queen.”

“Cadence I told you that she had me on mind control the same time they took you I’m sorry and it will never happen again.”

Everyone laughed at that for a bit before I then asked the girls, “What do you girls think about this?”, Weirdly enough, in some cosmic coincidence.

“I think it’s delightful that people look to us as sort of celebrities”

“We are so famous it’s awesome!!”

I was about to ask the rest of the girls but Celestia and Luna came back.

“Dan we have concluded that what you know about is OK and we would like to ask something else of you.”

“What Exactly do you have in mind?”

“We both thought that since we are in your mind we could continue evaluating you like Twilight had begun earlier but being here would allow us to get the information faster about your species and such.”

“I guess you could but I’m gonna warn you everything mankind has done is not all sunshine and rainbows. We have done things that we regret.”

“We’ll take note of that, and we want you to know that anything other humans have done will not be harshly judged and punished on you.”

“OK I guess, but since there is a lot I am going to split into two parts; history first then culture and stuff like that.”

“That is fine with us, you can begin when you’re ready.”

I honestly didn’t want some of the ponies here to know about the wars humans had fought and the number of people who had died but eventually, I think it would have gotten out somehow.

Images started playing out around us. It started with the earliest knowledge of humans; how we lived then, how we coped, and how we evolved. Everything started to move faster. Towns popped up and that about where the fighting began. Everything kept going and I saw a lot ancient civilizations, old rituals wars fought with formations of legions of troops. Everything that happened past World War II. It all happened in a couple of minutes.

Everyone sat in silence at what they had just seen. Feeling a bit dejected and somber I muttered. “And that’s the first half.”

“Um Dan?”

I looked up to see Fluttershy staring at me with her caring eyes. She moved closer and wrapped her hooves around the back of my neck and gave me a hug. It cheered me up a bit.

“OK then lets get through part two, this one is a bit happier.

In a flash more things appeared books, art, music, you name it. I was sharing everything humans created that wasn’t about murdering each other. Well in the actual sense. I looked around and everyone was in awe. Then came the things that people did to bring happiness to others. People volunteering for things, caring about one another, and leaders who spent their life trying to get people to be better.

After that had ended I felt a bit more relieved at what I had just done. Twilight had a happy look on her face.

“Wow Dan I can’t believe all the potential that you species has its incredible!”

“I think you ponies can be the same way; it will just take you awhile. Do you think we can get out of here now Celestia? I think I’m done playing with my thoughts for now.”

And as I finished the sentence there we were back in the throne room. And it took a bit for my eyes to adjust going from black to all those bright colors again.

“Well Dan as we have seen your people do have a lot of good about them but…”

“We have some problems I know.”

“Yes that would be the best way to put it. My sister and I only require one more thing of you before we render our sentence.”

“Well I have come this far no reason to stop now.”

“Very well then Dan the last thing we want is…”

Celestia was interrupted by a guard who burst through the doors in a panic. He ran till he came to a stop in front of the princesses

“My princesses there is a fire in one of the buildings in Canterlot!”

That caught everyone by surprise

“Which one my guard?”

“It’s the carriage factory your highness.”

I felt something wrong in the air that moment. I looked down to everyone around me and I could see very worried faces on both Applejack’s and Rarity’s faces.

Twilight then said in a distressed voice, “Wait the carriage factory!?! Cheerilee and her class are supposed to be visiting there today…right now actually."

Everything clicked into place right there in my head. If Cheerilee's class was there so were Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo. “Oh no…”

Rarity started to panic “That means that Sweetie…”

She never got to finish that sentence as I turned on the spot and began to run at a full sprint towards the door. Celestia staring wide eyed at what I was doing called out.

“Dan what are you doing!!!”

I didn’t give an answer there wasn’t time. I just kept running.

“Guards stop him” Celestia ordered. She might have thought that I was trying to escape or something, or that now I was revealing my true colors… I couldn’t blame her; I would have thought of it as well. The guards unfurled their wings and began to hover about two feet off the ground thinking that the creature would simply plow into them, they thought that putting a barricade in his way would simply deter him from his course of action. But he kept moving towards them at fast pace. And then one of the guards blinked; and when his eyes opened again the creature had disappeared. In the span of three seconds the guard looked in every direction he could; he wasn’t to his sides or above him and he sure was not behind him yet. The last place he checked was below him and sure enough the creature was…sliding below him and the guard next to him. One of the guards also saw Dan… wink at them?

What had happened was that the whole time, Dan thought of sliding below them, and apparently he had been right in this decision. Dan got up quickly after sliding underneath the guards and broke back into a full sprint. It was a very short distance from the throne room to the entrance of the palace. He noticed that the guards were closing the gate in an attempt to keep him from leaving. Dan thought quickly to himself “Oh I hope this doesn’t hurt too much.” To the surprise of the guards Dan didn’t stop at seeing the gate closing instead he sped up. A few steps before reaching the gate Dan turned and threw his shoulder in front of him. His shoulder hit the gate first with all his speed and power behind it, the gate was not much of a match considering that it wasn’t fully closed. A couple of guards went flying out a bit and the group of newsponies was again, silenced and shocked by the creature they had no information about.

That was the only time Dan stopped in his running. He looked at the crowd and then above their heads he could see the smoke from the fire off in the distance. Knowing the crowd would try to mob him with questions he decided to take a bit of a scary approach. He took in a deep breath and with all of his might as he began running again, his voice boomed “CLEAR A PATH! OUT OF THE WAY!”

The ponies were frightened by the volume he had just put out and sure enough; got out of his way. He charged forward towards where the fire was coming from, he was on a mission and nothing would stop him.

“Mr. Dan!”

The voice caught him kind of off guard he looked around and noticed that a pony was flying next to him. It was Crystal who he just noticed was a Pegasus.

“Ohai Crystal.” He said laboriously through his running

“Did something go wrong? Why are you running away from the castle?”

“I’m not running away from the castle, I am running towards the fire at the carriage factory; someone might need help.”

“But can’t the fire fighters take care of that?”

“Possibly but there may be a class of students trapped in the factory, I'm not leaving anything to chance… Say can you do me a favor?

“Ummm sure?”

“Go back to the castle and when the princesses and everyone I was with come out, tell them where I went; I may have caused a misunderstanding in running without telling anyone…heh.”

“You RAN from the princesses!?!?” Crystal gave Dan a crazy look.

“Yes I did, now GO!!!”

Crystal turned on the spot and began to fly back to the castle leaving Dan alone in his mad dash to the fire.

Dan wasn’t exactly a fully in shape person. Running in full sprint all the way there would be exhausting. But in the back of his mind certain thoughts kept him going “Nobody is going to get hurt”, “I won’t allow it”, and “I’m here to help; it’s just my thing” these thoughts kept pushing him past any limit he thought might stop him.

Finally after a couple of minutes he arrived at the fire. There were ponies in fire gear with hoses and buckets trying to put out the blaze before them. He saw one pony who was directing everypony else, he walked up to him deciding what to say. He knew Applejack wouldn’t like his decision but this time he had to lie a little.

“Hey chief, Princess Celestia Sent me here to help you, what’s the situation?”

“Oh thank the sun we get some help, what’s happened is that…” The chief finally got a look at who he had been talking too, and was surprised at the creature before him.

“OK chief I know I am weird looking, but lets deal with the fire first.” The creature demanded him and snapped the chief out of his gaze.

“Oh yes. Well right now the worst problem is that we have a group of school fillies and colts trapped in there with their teacher, the fire has cause the outside door mechanisms to melt and lock the doors into place, so we can’t get through them yet, and even if we did there might be a chance of a back draft which could cause an explosion and do more damage than anticipated.”

Dan felt something drop in the pit of his stomach. He thought about anything that he could do; which is when he noticed a window that was slightly open. If it was open that means that if it opened more there was no chance for a back draft.

“Chief there is an open window over there we can get someone through there and have people get out through there. I need a bucket of water.”

The chief handed him a bucket of water which Dan then poured over his head and body soaking his hoodie and rest of his clothes to the bone.

“Chief after I go in I want you to station ponies with a jump net outside this window understood?”

“Uh sure, but what do you mean go- HEY!!!!”

Dan took off in a sprint towards the window, he knew that it would probably be too hot to touch with his hands so his only options was…”CRASH!!” the glass splintered around him as he curled into a ball, protected his face and jumped into and through the window. He felt some slight pain but once again he shrugged it off.

There was Fire all around him and boy was it hot, that was the reason he had soaked himself; but his little trick wouldn’t last forever; he needed to work…fast.

“Hello is any one there?” He called out as he made his way into the building. He yelled a couple of more times before he heard a familiar voice call back to him.

“Oh yes is somepony there? Me and my students need help please!!”

He walked towards the voice taking a couple of turns before he finally saw what he had been hoping for. There in a small tucked away room not touched too much by the blaze, was a purple colored mare with a bunch of younger ponies gathered near her.

“Oh there you are…” Cheerilee began to say but noticed that she wasn’t talking to a pony. Being a teacher and put in charge of the well being of the young minds of Equestria; Cheerilee immediately went on the defensive towards this unknown creature that appeared in the middle of a fire.

“Who are you and what are you doing here!?! I’m not going to let you harm my students!!”

The creature laughed calmly for a second before speaking to her again. “ Well my name is Dan and the Princess and Twilight Sparkle have sent me here to help cause they heard that you might be in trouble.”

“Twilight Sparkle sent you?”

“Yes I know it may seem weird but we can’t afford to think about this for too long, this fire is only looking to get worse. So you are just going to have to trust me. Please?”

Cheerilee looked into the eyes of this creature and read the intentions in his eyes. She saw that it only wanted to help her and her students get out.

“OK then, I’ll trust you.” She said to Dan before turning to her young charges. “OK students everyone calm down and be brave. This creature named Dan here was sent by the princess to help us get out of here.”

I then decided to address everyone “Uh hi class… I found a way that we can get you guys out of here. I broke through a window and made an opening so just follow me and we will put this scary situation behind us.”

The students still seemed a bit apprehensive about following me, so I tried a little diversion tactic. “OK then, after we get out of here everyone is going to get ice cream!”

Apparently ice cream works in situations like this. None of the children spoke to me but I could see that they were more relaxed now. I told them to follow me closely and be careful. I traced my route back to the window I had jumped through and I looked out to see that the fire ponies were indeed waiting with the jump net. I also saw The princesses and Twilight and her friends looking at me incredulously.

“Oh hi Twilight and everybody”


“Helping…oh hold on a second.”

I turned back to the group behind me. “OK fillies and colts who’s ready to get out of here? Just come here and I'll put you on the net.. Come on, someone step up.”

They were still a bit apprehensive to me; fortunately someone decided to break the ice. A little unicorn filly with bright yellow eyes and purplish gray (damn my color blindness) walked right up to me and stood on her hind legs and put her hooves towards me. For me, it was a sign of trust…also it was so damned adorable.

“Thanks.” he muttered as he took the filly into his arms and lifted her towards the window; and moved her through the broken remains of the window and over the net. He then dropped her gently on the net where she bounced with a giggle and made her way off to safety near a group of firefighters. Dan looked back to the rest of the kids and said “Who’s next?”

Over a couple of minutes he got all the children out of the building. The last up was Cheerilee. Who kind of protested being picked up.

“I think I can manage getting-oh!?!?” she said as Dan picked her up and proceeded to move to the window.

“Sorry miss my way or the highway here.”

“What’s a “highway”?” She asked as she hit the net and began to make her way to the class

“Alright I think that’s everyone.” Dan shouted as he began to make his way out of the Window before something caught his attention. A scream rang out from the building. Wait it wasn’t one scream it was three screams all done in unison. He froze one foot out the window as he recognized those three exact screams and who they belonged to. He also noticed three ponies charging towards them. Rarity, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash moved towards him at a frightening pace. He thought out exactly what he had to do even though he knew some wouldn’t like the situation. When the three mares got close he blocked them and pushed them back before turning back into the building and yelling behind him.


Dan ran back into the building his clothes were now much dryer than they had been when he had started this. He knew that he had to work fast. He ran to where the screaming was, it was a bit farther off than where he found Cheerilee but he was glad when he walked into a room and found the Cutie Mark Crusaders huddled in fear in a corner.

They saw him about as quickly as he saw them and needless to say, they were frightened at a weird creature appearing out of nowhere. Their screams were sound barrier shattering but Dan pressed on hoping that they would hear his words.


The noise stopped immediately as Dan looked back at the little fillies. Their eye were red but still wide with wonder. Applebloom was the first to speak.

“Our sisters sent yah to get us?”

“Yeah I’m here to get you guys out of here.”

Slowly the girls looked at each other. They were still frightened beyond belief but hoped that this creature before them could help them.

With a small nod to each other they all looked at Dan and in unison said “OK…”

“Great that’s one problem-” Dan started to say but stopped as he heard a lot of creaking come from every where in the building. He thought quick and decided that the structure might have been compromised from the fire and the building may come down on them. Thinking quickly again he grabbed the crusaders in one arm and opened his hoodie with the other. He placed them inside saying to them. “You girls will be safer in here. Don’t come out till I tell you to.” He zipped up his jacket and began to move back toward the only exit he new.

He was almost there when he heard major cracks and splintering. He looked up to see that the roof….was getting closer. Dan managed to move a couple of feet forward before he was struck. “AUGH!!!” was the last thing he said before everything went black.

Outside ponies screamed and gasped as they saw the structure fall. Three friends screamed in horror at the sight not simply because of it but because of what was inside. And one lavender unicorn felt like something had died inside her.

Consciousness came back to Dan with a bout of pain. His sight took a bit longer, he thanked whoever he had to that he wasn’t dead. A quick look around showed that he was still under the massive roof of the building, and that he had a bit of a crawl space to move about in. He also noticed that he was on all four, his hands and knees in pain from being in this kind of prolonged exposure. He didn’t have to wonder long before he felt something move inside his sweatshirt. And that’s when everything came back to him. He quickly opened his sweatshirt and three little fillies came tumbling out in a heap. After they sorted themselves out he spoke to them.

“Glad to see that you three are OK.”

He got a sheepish “thank you” in reply. He finally got off his knees and sat on the ground. He sat in a daze for a minute before Scootaloo said something.

“Hey excuse me mister…?”


“Dan…What is that red stuff on your head thingy?”

He reached and felt his forehead. He felt moisture on his finger, he looked and saw blood. He had apparently sustained some blow to the head which was bleeding. Sweetie bell broke him out of his diagnosis.

“Hey there is more on the floor…what is it?”

Sure enough as Dan looked he saw little pools of blood on the floor, apparently his head wasn’t the only thing bleeding.

“It’s my blood…” he told the children. He could feel a little light headed so he must have lost a small amount but not enough to deter him.

“What does that mean?” they all asked

“It means that if we don’t get out of here soon; I’m going to be useless.

He could only think of one way out and he hoped that he still had the strength and willpower to pull it off.

“OK girls, I think I can get us out of here so back into my sweatshirt.

The girls nodded obediently and climbed up him and back into his sweatshirt. Dan moved till he found what seemed to be the center support for the roof and then he went onto a kneeling stance below it. Putting his hands and the back of his neck against it he started to push. He was somewhat thwarted by the weight of the roof but Dan tried to push through.

He thought of everything that had happened till now. He arrived in a magical world, apparently made friends with colorful ponies and basically showed everything but his innermost personal life with them. If there was one thing now that wasn’t going to happen it was that he was not going to lie down and die. He wasn’t going to die at all he was going to give the girls back to their sisters and keep on living and tell death to go take a fucking hike.

He felt his body wavering as he continued to pour all his power into the unmoving structure. He wanted it to move so badly, but it just wouldn’t budge. He felt heat in three places on his body right now. One was in the middle of his forehead filling him with willpower and helping his mind and the other two were at both of his hands and it felt like his body was being fueled with power. He felt the roof move up under his power and he kept pushing at it. He wouldn’t stop until it was no longer an obstacle.

Outside the ruins of the carriage factory many things were happening. Fire fighter ponies were busy running around doing their jobs and wondering how they could move the roof. Newsponies were snapping pictures and trying to piece together what had happened. And then there was a group of ponies that consisted of three princesses, one prince, one school teacher with most of her class, and one lavender unicorn with five of her friends who stared at the wreckage with sadness and horror. Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Applejack were in an absolute mess. They were crying up a storm while Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie tried to comfort them. Luna, Cadence, and Shining Armor talked silently about what had taken place.

Princess Celestia stood tall next to her student in silence, pondering about the events that had unfolded. A creature new to Equestria had come and within moments of hearing about the fire and that the siblings of his completely new friends were in trouble ran to help without prompting or whatever. She was pondering how selfless Dan could be until something disturbed her gaze. The wreckage…moved. It shifted slightly in place. Celestia opened her mind’s eye to take note of any magic that could be there. To her surprise she felt a soft flame of magic. But it didn’t stay soft it started to grow a bit, it simply willed it self.

“Twilight.” She softly said as a smile came to her face once more. Her student looked to her and inside questioned why her mentor was smiling. Celestia gave a small nod towards the pile which since she last glanced was moving more. Twilight seemed amazed by what was happening before her.

“Princess, do you think it could be?”

Celestia gave the smallest of nods which brought up Twilight’s spirit greatly.

“Indeed Twilight we may see a miracle here yet.”

The movement became bigger so that now everyone was starting to see it. Ponies all around stared slack jawed as the roof slowly moved upwards. It did so as the roof began to move up a few feet before it stopped. And then suddenly a sound rang out from somewhere underneath the roof and it was sent flying skywards until it was nothing but a speck. Twilight and her mentor glanced at where the roof had been and waited for the dust to settle. They heard something that sounded like shuffling but it was not a pony.

“Dan?” Twilight asked nervously to whatever was moving out of the dust. Sure enough Dan came slowly shambling out of the dust all torn up and bloodied. With a quick look Celestia could have sworn that she had seen a small flame in the middle of Dan’s head and also on his hands.

“Well that was fun.” he said weakly. As he walked towards the group Rainbow, Rarity, and Applejack met him half way looking up at him with pleading eyes. He smiled calmly knelt down and unzipped his hoodie.

“You can come out now.” he said as three little heads poked out of his hoodie. The three little fillies hopped out and were immediately swept up in hugs and kisses by their respective sisters. Dan could hear background noises from the other ponies around but he couldn’t make it out due to exhaustion and blood loss. He managed to get back up and walk to Twilight and Princess Celestia. He looked like he had a lot to say but he was only able to say one thing.

“I think…I’m gonna take a nap now…”

And with that he was unconscious again.

During his sleep, Dan could have sworn he heard voices in his head. From what he could pick out he heard things like

“See I told you that Danner was a good guy.”

“Bill I think she can already tell that”

The last he heard was an immaculate sounding voice agreeing with the past two.

“Yes I do believe you are correct, he will be very helpful in time.”

After that sentence Dan woke up. He noticed that he wasn’t at the ruins of the factory anymore. He guessed from the high ceilings that he was in the palace. The bed he was in was just big enough to fit in; although it was extremely comfortable. He grabbed hold of the blanket on top of him and threw it off. What seemed weird to him then was that he had completely new clothes on. He ventured that Rarity had something to do with it.

He managed to stand up after a little while and looked about the room he was in. he found the door and walked towards it, he found it unlocked so he simply opened it and walked out. Outside of that room he noticed a sign with an arrow pointing left. Guessing it was for him he followed it. It led him to a pair of doors. After pushing them open he was greeted with a nice sight. Apparently everyone was waiting for him at a rather large dining table. Celestia was the first to notice him.

“Well, it looks like someone is finally awake again.” She said with a bemused smile.

Heads turned to his direction and in one moment all the ponies were upon him. He was basically tackled to the ground by six ponies and three smaller ponies. Everyone was saying everything at once and Dan couldn’t process what was going on.

Celestia cleared her throat and silenced the room with an “Ahem.” Everyone stopped what they were doing and let Dan stand. Celestia approached Dan and began to speak.

“Well Dan before everyone has their say I have something I would like to announce. For what you have done today you have shone true bravery and selflessness. Now despite everything we have seen about your species I find it null and void in this situation and from now on I declare that you shall be allowed to stay as a citizen of Equestria.

“Thanks Princess.” Was all that Dan could say at the moment. He couldn’t figure out anything else…although apparently Pinkie had about the right idea.

“OH OH OH I know exactly what this situation calls for, wanna say it with me Dan?

Dan looked at the pink pony and said. “Pinkie it would be my honor.”

“Okie Dokie Lokie. Well go on three. Ready? One. Two. Three!!!”

Both of them shouted in happy unison “A PARRRRTTTYY!!!!”

Chapter 4: RELEASE.......THE CHICKENS!!!!!

View Online

Chapter 4: release……….THE CHICKENS!!!!!!

The party lasted for hours, going from when Dan woke up in the early afternoon till the early parts of the night. Dan was a bit amazed on how much you could fit into one day. That didn’t mean he wasn’t in pain though. Shortly after Celestia’s declaration the Cutie Mark jumped him and for the…..fifth…sixth…he lost count; time today Dan was on his back. But this time he was okay with it, cause the three fillies were basically shouting praises in his face. They thanked him over and over till they were blue in the face; literally.

After they were done Twilight was about to give him a three hour lecture about the danger of his actions but luckily Cadence interrupted by accidentally making Twilight give Dan an impromptu hug. It wasn’t that it wasn’t a bad hug but it did seem kind of embarrassing in front of all their friends. It was made even more embarrassing by the fact that both Dan and Twilight pushed away from each other in the same way and started sputtering the same kind of nonsense. It made for a hilarious sight for everyone but them. There was food, which Dan greedily devoured because he hadn’t eaten all day. He surprised people by showing that he even gave Pinkie a run for her money.

But after all was said and done everyone was getting tired and they decided that it was time to head back to Ponyville for a good nights rest. As they left Cadence made sure to say goodbye to Dan personally(ponysally???) and said to him “I think we will see more of you Dan, I look forward to seeing what happens with you and someone we both know personally.” He had no clue what she meant by that but for some reason it still brought a blush to his cheeks

Before they left do Dan made a point to talk to Crystal Clear and tell here where he would be so she could get her exclusive. The group boarded the train right before their sugar rush wore off. Sleepiness started to take hold on the train and soon enough everyone was taking a nap on the train except for Dan and Twilight. Twilight was used to long hours and little sleep, plus all those years of organizing had trained her body to basically micromanage herself. As for Dan lets just say the pain had come back.

“Well Dan besides almost getting yourself killed and all how was your first day in Equesteria?”

“Honestly Twilight it has been some of the most fun I have had in awhile.” Twilight noticed a slightly somber look in his eye despite the happiness he showed.

“What do you mean? Don’t you have friends who do stuff with you back where you are from?”

“Yes I do but things can be a bit more…complicated. First off; we don’t all live in the same town so we have to travel to get to each other. Then we have to figure out times for everything. And sometimes some of them can be so indecisive and don’t plan thing well….unlike a certain purple unicorn that can sometimes over plan.” Dan explained with a bit of a smirk.

“I don’t over plan!”

“OK then. What time do we get to Ponyville?”

“Oh we will arrive at 8:55 sharp. And since word about you has probably spread around there might be some ponies waiting around to ask some questions or give thank you’s; so from 8:55 to 9:00 we will try to handle questions. Then at 9:00 we will leave and start heading to our respective homes. You will be staying with me and Spike in the library for now until we can figure out better accommodations. We should arrive at the library at 9:10 precisely and after a quick drink depending on what your tastes are we should all be in bed by 9:15.”

Twilight finished rattling off her plans and found that Dan had a deadpan look on his face.

“Oh I guess that is a bit much huh?”

“Possibly…Where will I be sleeping?”

“Well till we get some things straightened out you can sleep in my bed tonight because of your injuries.”

“Like with you in the bed?”

“NO! why would you think that?”

“Well it is your bed. I mean I don’t take up a lot of room so we could probably…”

“NO!” Twilight surprised Dan with her outburst. The blush on he face undeniable to any one, but Dan didn’t seem to get it at the moment.

“I mean no its fine I can sleep on the couch, its definitely big enough for me to sleep on. With someone of your size you will probably hang over the sides and be uncomfortable.”

“Twilight Sparkle….Are you calling me fat?” Dan joked

“No what I meant was with your height and skeletal structure….oh your joking with me aren’t you?”

The laughter coming from Dan was all Twilight needed for a confirmation and after giving him a mean look only succeeded in making him call her cute again she joined in laughing as well.

Just as Twilight had said earlier, at 8:55 the train came to a stop at Ponyville. They woke everyone up from their little naps. Dan had the unfortunate job of waking Rarity. He swore that at one point she was going to bite him. As they got off they were greeted by the mayor and the rest of Applejack’s family. Sure enough the mayor went straight to Twilight to ask about Dan, she took the liberty of filling her in all about Dan and what would be happening.

As I was standing there holding Spike like a stuffed animal because he was one stubborn sleeper I felt like I was being watched. I turned to see Applejack’s brother Big Macintosh staring up at me with an intent glare. I returned his glare with one of my own. The rest of the group stared at me and him while we had one of those guy moments. We basically had a conversation in our own heads for a good minute before we both simply nodded at each other and smiled.

From there they group parted ways and every tired pony went to their respective homes. Dan and Twilight were finally showing signs of fatigue as they reached the library. Twilight opened the door and all the candles in the room lit up.

“I made sure to cast a spell on the candles for when it’s dark, we don’t have electricity in the library yet and it can get dark sometimes.” So I’ll show you to my room where you can sleep for the night.”

“Sounds yawnnaaaaggh…good” Dan’s body was finally telling him that after the events of today that it would like some rest.

Twilight led him up the small staircase and down a slight hallway. She stopped at the first door on the right. The inside of Twilight’s bedroom was as Dan thought it was going to be. Everything was in its place, and it looked spotless. Dan saw Spike’s little bed at the foot of the bed and placed him in it. He looked at Twilight who was getting a blanket and pillow out of her closet.

“Twilight are you sure you wanna sleep on the couch?

“It’ll be fine for tonight Dan, your my guest and I won’t have it another way.”

Twilight turned and left the room; but halfway down to the couch she remembered something she had to tell him.

“Oh Dan I just remembered…” she was about to say more but saw that Dan was now unconscious and sprawled across her bed. It was just big enough for him and he was now snoozing peacefully.

“Well I guess it can wait till morning then.” Twilight said as she used her magic to maneuver her blanket on top of Dan. She moved closer and looked at him. There was something about him, it just seemed…nice to her. Without thinking she leaned in and gave Dan a slight kiss in the cheek. Afterwards she immediately realized what she did and quickly and embarrassedly retreated from the room and went to fall asleep on the couch wondering at what she had done.

Dan woke up for a reson he couldn’t think of. He took a look around; it was still very dark. He looked around and saw a clock on the bed stand near the bed; it was 3AM. He got up and stretched. While he was momentarily up he decided to check on how Twilight was sleeping. He slowly crept down the stairs and saw Twilight shivering in her sleep on the couch. He knew that it was a bad idea. So he picked her up and cradled her in her arms. He thought it was like holding a stuffed animal as he walked up the stairs. He got back to the room and set her gently on the far side of the bed as he got back into bed with one arm slightly over her.

“She can yell at me in the morning. I didn’t risk my life in a fire just so one slightly embarrassed unicorn could freeze in her sleep.” And with that Dan settled back into a nice sleep.

Now on any normal day in Ponyville everyone knew that the first pony up would be Applejack. But because of the events of yesterday the whole apple family decided to take the day of for rest. That meant that the award for the earliest rising of that day went to Applejack’s chromatic friend Rainbow Dash. Rainbow always like the crisp cold morning air, flying around always woke her up quicker than a shower could. Besides what was the point of showering then having a early morning workout then having to shower again because of it?

Standing on her front porch/ diving board of her cloud house she prepared for take off. Slowly stretching her hooves and then wings till they gave that little pop was always gratifying. She leapt of her porch and went straight down to build up speed. A few feet from the ground she spread her wings and climbed. With the speed she had she did flips and all other kinds of amazing maneuvers which would astound anyone who saw them.

After a half an hour of exercising Rainbow had an idea. Now she had pranked her friends many times and even though she still laughed it got slightly old after awhile. But now she had someone new to try some pranks on. Now that she had Dan around he was in for a lot of pranking. She thought that she could try one out while he was still sleeping.

Rainbow zipped over Ponyville and headed the direction of the library. She figured that since yesterday Twilight would let him sleep in her bed. From experience Rainbow knew that the outside balcony was connected to Twilight’s bedroom.

She gave a small maniacal laugh as she flew “ Heh heh heh oh he’s gonna pay for that whole, perch on his shoulder thing.”

Rainbow touched down on the balcony outside Twilights room softly trying to make as little noise as possible. She quietly made her way to the window and scanned inside for her new human friend. Part of her mind was on the prank she would be pulling the other half was on finding her target. Her eyes moved to Twilight’s bed where he would be and that’s when she saw it. Her eyes widened to gigantic proportions even for ponies. She saw that Dan was indeed in the bed….and so was Twilight!!!


She sprang from the balcony and took off as fast as she could and headed in the complete opposite direction. There was only one mare she could talk to about a situation like this. She arrived at Carousel Boutique within three minutes, she landed and pounded on the door hopefully loud enough to wake Rarity.


The door opened violently and Rainbow stood face to face with the fashionista who was decked out in her robe with hair curlers and a facial mask on. Truly she was in her early morning glory.

“Rainbow Dash!!! I was sure that you knew the importance of my early mornings. Why would you be so brash as to interrupt the rituals which give me….Muwahaha.”

She started to rant as Rainbow pulled her close to her and began whispering in her ear. Rarity’s eyes showed annoyance as Rainbow relayed her news but slowly they widened biger and bigger…and bigger. It was like a countdown as Rainbow finished telling Rarity what she had seen. She waited a couple of seconds and then Rarity couldn’t hold it in any longer.

Applejack had managed to get a bit more sleep than she usually did but the routine she usually performed everyday always managed to wake her in the early hours of the day. She was going to take it slow today seeing as how the family was taking a day off. She walked out the front door of her house; hat on head and took in the serene picture of the calm apple fields. Well it was calm and serene until she her something tremendously loud


The scream pierced the air in every direction and even from awhile away Applejack knew who that loud voice belonged to.

“Jeez I wonder what’s got Rarity so riled up this early in the morning!” No sooner than she had posed the question than she saw a rainbow trail coming towards her house.

Rainbow was flying fast, faster than she normally flew unless she was in some kind of race. As she flew over Sweet Apple Acres she saw Applejack standing on her front porch. She came in hot on her landing and skidded to a halt right before the porch.

“Hey Rainbow, whats got Rarity’s up in a fuss this morning.”

“Applejack we got to get to the library now! Rarity went to go get Fluttershy and we have to meet them there immediately!”

“Why did something happen to Twilight or Dan?”

“No not exactly but when I was doing my early morning routine flight exercises I thought tht I could pull a prank on Dan in his sleep for that comment yesterday. So I landed on the balcony and when I looked in the windows I saw them!”

“Saw them what Rainbow?”

“Sleeping! Duh.”

“Uh Rainbow most people sleep in their bedrooms.”

“NO I mean they were sleeping in Twilight’s bed…TOGETHER!”

The gears clicked in place in Applejacks head faster than you could say “apples”. Her eyes bugged out for a minute before she put on the slyest poker face she could manage before speaking again.


“Already taken care of.”

“Well then let’s go!!” Applejack said as she took of running towards Ponyville. Rainbow took to the air close behind her as they moved as quick as they could. As the moved through the town they could see Rarity and Fluttershy approaching the library form the other side. While Pinkie…was already waiting at the front door.

“Pinkie how did you even…?”

“Pinkie Sense, I got a combo that told me that something really funny was about to happen!”

“Well no sense on arguing with that sugarcube.”

Quietly the five ponies opened the door and snuck in. As quietly as they could they made their way to Twilights bedroom. It took them a few minutes but finally they all managed to get into the bedroom, but from their it was hard to be quiet as nearly all of them were on the verge of laughing like hyenas.

The sight which was so funny was at how their friend Twilight sparkle was being…cuddled like a stuffed animal by their new found friend Dan. It was adorable in so many ways.

“Oh my I don’t think there could be anything cuter than this moment right here.” Rarity seemingly pulled a fan out of nowhere and was fanning away the heat from the blush on her face.

“Wow this is like the ultimate “get back at you” situation.” Rainbow chuckled lightly “Rarity you have the camera right?”

“Why of course I wouldn’t dare miss this opportunity my dear Rainbow. She fished around in the saddlebag attached to her side and brought out a camera

“Now let us see if we can get some fun snapshots before the “happy couple” wakes up hmm. The tone in Rarity’s voice showed that this was definitely the start of a fun day. She began taking some shots and hoped that neither Dan nor Twilight woke up just yet.

Twilight felt warm as she slept. She didn’t realize that her couch could provide her with such warmth. Something was gnawing at the edge of her sleeping consciousness, there was some kind of whirring and clicking noises going on around her. Slowly the noises woke her from her warm slumber. She slowly opened her eyes and found herself on the receiving end of a camera pointed at her by Rarity. She also saw that all her other friends were in the room.

“Girl…” she started to ask but was interrupted Rarity.

“Shh Twilight you wouldn’t want to wake Dan now would you?”

Dan? What did she exactly mean by that? IT was about this time that Twilight astuteness kicked in and she noticed her surroundings. 1. she was in her bedroom, in her bed to be more precise. And 2. there was something very warm on top of her. She craned her neck around and came face to face with a still sleeping Dan who at some point while sleeping had basically wrapped his arms around her. She looked at her friends who all had wide smiles plastered on their faces. Pinkie’s smile was natural because that’s always how she was, but for everyone else it was because of the embarrassing and compromising situation.

“…ah…..ah…” she couldn’t find any words as her head turned violently between her friends and the human squeezing her like she squeezed her doll Smarty Pants all those years ago. What she hadn’t thought about was that those violent motions would wake her holder. Dan did a small stretch in his sleep yawned and then slowly opened his eyes. He noticed that besides Twilight all the other girls were in the room; hje also noticed the camera that Rarity was floating with her telekinesis.

“Hey girls what are you takin pictures of?” he asked with a yawn. It was then that the girls couldn’t hold in their laughter in anymore; not even Fluttershy. All of them fell to the floor laughing hysterically like they had been dosed with laughing gas, through the laughter Rainbow was the only one who could squeak out a few words in between breaths.

“Why don’t…you ask…your cuddle buddy there?”..

I looked down and there still rapped in my arms was Twilight who looked at me with a look of incredulous anger. It still looked adorable though, and if I’ve said it once I will continue to say it, curse pony cuteness.

“Uh good morning Twilight…”

“Don’t good morning me what are you doing? How did this…” she gestured to us “happen?”.

“Well if you must know I woke up at three in the morning for some reason and I decided to check on you on the couch. And just as I thought you were freezing, so I picked you up and came back here put you in the bed; got in myself and went back to sleep.”

“And you just happened to hug me like this in your sleep?”

“Yeah I guess.”

“YOU GUESS?!?!?! And Rarity what are you doing with the camera….actually what are you all doing here?”

“Well Twilight dear Rainbow saw you and she came straight to me and I suggested that we all come and see and also take commemorative photos of this event.”

“What event?” Twilight dared to ask a blush slightly creeping on her face.

“Well the first time you sleep in bed with a stallion of course.”

I honestly didn’t think something could change color from lavender to bright red, but Twilight did it so easily. I had to admit to myself that I was also blushing a bit too.

“ooh pictures can I get one!”

“Dan why would you want one?”

“Why not?” I let finally let go of Twilight and got out of the bed. Twilight was still as a statue.

“So what’s on the agenda for today girls?” I said before I decided to try stretching. As soon as I tried my body told me tha it wasn’t a good thing to do


“Somethin the matter Dan?” Applejack asked.

“I feel extremely sore after everything that happened yesterday…Man I could use a massage.”

Rarity’s eyes lit up at the words massage. Everyone in the room knew the look she was doing and the knew exactly what she was going to say next.

“Oh then if you need a massage then we can go to the spa!”

All the girls knew that Rarity was a spa-aholic and that she wouldn’t waste any opportunity to go and pamper herself. Though in this case since Dan was in a bit of pain they decided to make an exception.

“Well my morning workout was a bit rough maybe a massage could help me too.”

“Heh those spa ponies will have a fun time getting the knots outta this farm pony.”

Fluttershy was the only one not to say anything, in a normal case most of the girls understood this but something was different in this situation.

“Fluttershy is something wrong?”

“Oh well it’s just that I haven’t taken care of the animals yet. I was going to start but Rarity told me to follow her and…” She stopped talking and then started drawing imaginary circles on the floor with her hoof.

“Aw don’t worry about it shy we can help you with the animals before we go to the spa…Right Rarity?”

“Why of course it wouldn’t be proper to stop someone from doing their job. Do you want to help Dan?”

“Sure I don’t mind I like animals as much as the next person…pony.”

Everyone then started to walk out of the room forgetting that there was still one pony left sitting on her bed. Dan poked his head back into the room to try and rouse her in his own little way.

“Twilight come on and snap out of it, or am I going to have to send a report to Princess Celestia and your brother that we slept together last night?”

This snapped Twilight out of her shock and into her rage, she slowly turned around to face Dan. Her face contorted in anger a bit as she found her voice again.

“you…you…YOU IDIOT!!!” she began to charge up her horn to blast him into next week, but Dan’s danger reflex kicked in ad he started sprinting out of the library.

“WAIT I’M NOT DONE WITH YOU!!!” she charged after him leaving her bed a mess as she tried to catch up to Dan and her friends, all the while Spike was still sleeping and hadn’t woken up even once.

After a brisk walk and calming Twilight down the reached Fluttershy’s cabin and set to work. The animals were curious around Dan but soon warmed up to him after they found out how magical his hands felt…well that is all of them except for one lone white rabbit. He sat apart from the group of animals and gave Dan a slightly angry look.

“Oh angel don’t you want to say hi to Dan he’s a new friend.”

Angel hopped right up to Dan and looked up at him. Even though Dan was sitting down he still towered over most of the animals. Angel looked at Dan and he could notice something in his eyes. It was akin to fear but not entirely. Dan put out his hand and motioned for angel to hop on. As Angel got on his hand Dan stood up and called to his friends.

“Hey girls you go on ahead to the spa I’ll catch up in a minute; I just wanna have a little talk with angel.”

The girls didn’t quite understand what he meant but thye took it as a good sign and headed down the path towards the spa. Dan walked away from his new animal friends for a second and then looked at Angel and began to talk with him.

“Ok now I know who you are and I know how….tricky…you can be?” he said like he was asking the bunny a question. In turn the bunny shook his head disapprovingly at the taller being as if he should try again. Dan thought for a moment, he was thinking about the right word to use.

“Devious?” he asked the bunny. Apparently that was good enough for the rabbit as Angel shook his head in approval.

“OK then so how about this? I’m not here to mosey in on your turf, I am just here to help and be friendly, and that’s all. So how about we be friends”

Angel gave Dan a hard stare in consideration for what seemed like a minute before smiling and giving Dan his approval.

“Well ok then little buddy thanks. If you need a hand sometime…you’ll find a way to get a hold of me.” Dan said as he put the bunny back on the ground and started on his way to catch up to Twilight and company. But on his way he past Fluttershy’s chicken coop and a random thought past into his mind. It was so powerful he couldn’t stop himself from doing what his brain told him. He found the nearest chicken to him and he poked it. The chicken barely noticed and went on about its business. Dan waited a few seconds and poked it again, this time it noticed him but seemed to forgive him. Dan then poked it again; this time it stopped and turned to face him. It gave him a look that basically said “Go ahead punk poke me again and see what happens”.

Inside Dan’s head he thought “It honestly can’t be like that, how would that even work if chickens knew something about a game not even from this dimension…eh I’m gonna risk it.” He reached out and poked the chicken again. After he did the chicken made a sound he never heard before.


“Oh no freaking way…” Dan thought and paniced a bit. After a second he felt something collide with his back, he turned and saw another chicken who began to peck at him. Then another collision and another until it was like he was playing dodgeball…with chickens.

“OH SHI…” Dan yelled as he began to run away. Angel watched from a distance and shook his head a bit.

Meanwhile the girls had almost reached the spa, and Twilight was about to die of embarrassment…again.

“Well Twilight you still haven’t told us what it was like sleeping with Dan in your bed.” Rarity had been prodding her with questions the whole time. She hadn’t said anything but she felt like she should give in and answer once and for all to make her stop.

“Well to be honest Rarity….he was really warm.” She said blushing “not to mentioned hes kinda squishy so he is basically like a warm pillow.”

“Oh is he now?”

“you know what I mean Rarity!!!”

“Oh but of course dear.”

Twilight wanted to say something else but a noise disturbed her train of thought. She stopped as did her friends and listened to the sound in the distance. It was getting closer and it sounded familiar.

“AAAAHHHHH!!!!” Dan screamed as he ran away from the chickens who kept flanking him from all sides. He through all the feather flying around he could see the spa ahead of him and the girls staring at him in bewilderment. Twilight was the first to say something to the rapidly advancing form.

“Dan…What’s going on here!!!”

“I HAVE….RELEASED…..THE CHICKEN!!!!” he said as he kept running. The girls had mostly made it inside but were still staring as Dan kept trying to outrun the chickens with little success. As he neared the door he jump through the threshold slid on his stomach into the spa as Fluttershy shut the door behind him.

“Oh I’m so sorry Dan I forgot to tell you. My chickens don’t like being disturbed much. If someone riles them up the go into a frenzy sometime…oh I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok Fluttershy it’s completely fine.” There was silence for a little bit before Dan spoke again.

“OK now I could really use that massage.”

Chapter 5: Well at leats the chickens are gone now it can get better.......right?

View Online

Chapter 5: Well at least the chickens are gone now it can get better….right?

The ponies that ran the spa, contrary to some beliefs; did receive customers on a daily basis. With ponies in Ponyville being so physical in their daily lives it was normal that they would need something other than a doctor’s care to soothe their tired muscles. It was in this decision to set up shop in Ponyville, that the spa ponies Lotus and Aloe; were seen as somewhat geniuses by some.

On this morning, like every morning they wondered who would be their first customer, even though they could probably name the singular pony that it would be. As the bell signaling that the door opened chimed; the twins looked to see who it was. Sure enough their biggest and favorite customer Rarity, she showed up at the spa once or twice a week. This time she came with her friends, the twins guessed that it must be for some bonding between them. What the twins didn’t get is why they were staring out the door. From where they were they could see something running towards the spa….and it was being attacked by chickens….and screaming. From what the twins could guess at, this thing running towards their entrance was the “new arrival” that mayor mare had told most of the people in Ponyville about. They knew that he was a human and that his name was Dan. They also knew that he risked his life to save Cheerilee and her class and got himself hurt doing so. Since knowing he did that the town was very accepting of him, even though most hadn’t seen him yet; this info had only been moving since last night.

The twins were startled back to reality when Dan jumped through the entrance to their spa and the door was shut behind him. They looked to see Dan lying on the floor and he was being apologized to by Fluttershy. He had probably angered her chickens, everyone knew that you shouldn’t mess with any of Fluttershy’s animals; in any kind of ranking it was angel first and the chickens second. They watched him as he laid there for a couple of seconds before they heard him speak for the first time.

“Okay, now I could use a massage.”

The twins were overjoyed at the moment. Dan was the newest and right now biggest celebrity in Equestria; though not much was known about him yet; and he was looking to get a massage at their spa!

Dan managed to sit up despite the pain going through his body. He hoped he hadn’t gotten his clothes that dirty; Rarity would probably get upset at him considering she made them for him. He never thought about how she made them so quickly. After he had gotten up Rarity had given him a pair of shorts and t-shirt for him to wear today, not to mention she had fixed his hoodie while he was unconscious the day before. The shorts were like regular basketball shorts that he had worn and the shirt was made of cotton. The one thing he absolutely didn’t think about was how she made him a pair of boxers….he’d rather not think about that.

“Hello everyone!” Aloe; the pink pony with a blue mane spoke to the group first.

“Here for a group session?” said her twin Lotus; who was blue with a pink mane.

Rarity usually spoke for the group when they came here; so she took the lead here.

“Aloe, Lotus darlings, how nice to see you today. Yes we decided to come and relax a little today. Also, I’m sure by now word has gotten around about our friend Dan.” She pointed to Dan with a hoof; who nodded his head politely at Aloe and Lotus. “Well you must know about the daring feats he did yesterday; and it seems that they have taken a bit of a toll on him. So we figured that he could use a treatment and then a massage to make him feel better.”

“Oh it’s no problem Rarity.”

“Anything for one of our local celebrities”

Dan noticed the both seemed to be doing that twin speak thing. It might get a bit complicated for telling who was who. He got to his feet as he thanked them.

“Well thank you both, honestly with everything these six put me through I could use it”

Aloe and Lotus were both surprised at how tall he was, they had heard that he was big; but he towered over them completely. It shocked them a bit and it showed in their speech.

“…well...okay let us get everything set for you…”

“Yes…just leave anything you need to in one of our bins.” Still staring at Dan Aloe managed to point to a rack against one of the walls where bins for ponies’ items could be stored while they were there.

“….What’s the matter with them? Acting like they ain’t ever seen a human before.” Dan poured on the sarcasm.

“Well Dan no one in Ponyville has really seen you yet. I’m positive that once you get some interaction going with some of the other townsponies that they will warm up to you….uh Dan why are you taking your shirt off?”

It’s true that Dan was taking his shirt off for some reason; Twilight didn’t seem to get at the time. He had it about halfway over his head at the time when Twilight ask so naturally the only thing for him to do was talk with shirt above his head.

“Well since I thought that there might be something wet in the spa I would take off the shirt that Rarity so nicely made for me. The shorts can get wet, they will dry out eventually.”

I felt pain as I finished taking of my shirt. It felt like my body had been put in front of a machine whose job it was to simply hit things. A couple of short gasps also helped to confirm that my torso didn’t look good. After putting my shirt in a bin I looked around for a mirror. Thankfully there was one in the room. I gave my whole body a look and the mirror and honestly I thought that it could have been worse. There were some nicely shaped purple bruises spotting me up and down and a couple of scrapes, cut, and bruises but nothing that would leave a scar.

“Heh, and here I was thinking that having a building collapse on you was bad for your health.” I joked.

It got some weak laughs from the girls who I could tell were still a bit worried about my well being. Their only human…pony.

“Dan, it still looks like some of that” Twilight simply gestured toward my body “hurts pretty bad.”

For the life of me I couldn’t stop myself from joking with her. The option for jokes was tremendously good.

“It’s only a flesh wound. Tis but a scratch.” I put on an English accent to make myself laugh. It seemed to work on them since in brightened up the mood a bit. Rarity seemed a bit puzzled though.

“Rares you got a question for me?”

“Hm? Oh yes Dan I was just thinking, where you come from what usually happens when a building falls on someone?”

Without missing a beat I told her the answer straight and simple “Well it technically depends on the building but mostly…death.”

Before anyone could answer the twins came back into the main room.

“Okay the bath is ready for everypony.”

“If you’ll just follow us.”

I have to admit they really did have that twin speak thing down. Me and the girls walked into the interior of the spa. Now from my knowledge of the show I new the spa was pretty big on the inside but even I was amazed how big it actually was.

The next hour or two went by nicely. The bath they had was very nice; the water was hot but just so that you could stand it without feeling like a lobster. I felt my whole body just relax and thank me and possibly the universe for giving it a break. The girls seemed to relax to; but they also had time to make some jokes about my feet; none of which I cared to remember cause the water was so nice.

It was after this that I got my massage while the girls were doing stuff like getting hooficures, horn filings, and such. The twins pointed me to a massage table near where the girls were sitting and chatting…well it was more like two table put together just for me because I was so damn tall.

“Mr. Dan, we think that since you are so large it will take both me and my sister to give you a massage.”

“That’s fine with me…Aloe?” She nodded “Okay good, and also you can just call me Dan.” I put on an endearing smile to make both of them seem more comfortable.

“Well...okay then Dan just lie down...”

“And we’ll take care of you…”

Both of the twins blushed as this new creature helped them feel comfortable in his presence. Dan lay down over both the tables within a minute the twins were up. Dan wondered how good a set (or two in this case) of hooves would do against his back. After the first minute he didn’t really care anymore.

“Mmmm wow…” Dan said in a low voice. He was basically at this point trying to keep conscious; not from the pain but from the pleasure and nirvana this massage was giving him.

The girls having chatted for awhile decided to see if Dan was enjoying his massage. Rarity was the first to try.

“So Dan how are you enjoying this magnificent spa?” she waited but got no answer from him.

“You know its not very polite to not answer a lady Dan.” Still nothing, this time Twilight gave it a shot.

“Dan are you going to answer Rarity’s question?”

This finally got an answer out of Twilight in the form of a snore from Dan. It turned out that the massage was so good that it put Dan in some kind of pleasure coma. Afterwards when everypony was finished Dan finally woke up. He sat up and stretched feeling every muscle in his back, arms, and legs feel loose. As he was stretching his shirt flew through the air and hit him in the face. The giggling of eight; he almost forgot about the twins; mares from somewhere in front of him brought him out of his daze.

With a yawn he asked “Okay I get it how long have I been out?”

“Approximately forty three and a half minutes, now put your shirt on and let’s go to lunch.”

“Alright Twilight.”

Dan managed to not fall asleep again and put his shirt on and made his way outside with the rest and headed towards Ponyville square. He noticed that ponies were still staring at him, but a lot seemed to have smiles on their faces; he had to remember he was on a planet with ponies that didn’t judge…much; not like where he was from where humans could be assholes for no reason.

After a bit of a walk they reached the restaurant, the waiter noticed the six mares but was a bit surprised at the tall creature behind him. He had heard the news but wasn’t sure if it was some elaborate prank by the mayor. The waiter grabbed a couple of menus and showed the ponies and their human friend to a table.

“Well Dan I hope you will be able to find something for you to eat here in Equestria besides all of Pinkie’s party food.” Twilight joked

“But I thought Dan really like all my baked goodies Twilight?”

“He did Pinkie but I’m not sure it’s healthy for him to go around eating nothing but cake and pie.”

“That’s right sugarcube, unless he has your kind of energy; he’ll keep eatin’ like you do until he looks like a balloon.”

“Yeah and he isn’t in the greatest possible shape yet.”

“Hey wait a minute what is that supposed to mean RD?” I felt a little offended by that; even if it came from a small multicolor pony.

“I mean you probably aren’t all that strong after all; despite the roof thing.”

“Okay then, how bout we arm wrestle.”


“Oh sorry; hoof wrestle.”

“Oh you are so…”

“Are you ready to make you orders ladies and…?” the stallion interrupted and was puzzled at what to call Dan.

“Whatever you would call a stallion; it doesn’t bother me much.” Dan shrugged it off.

“Gentlecolt then…are you ready?”

Dan let the girls go first in ordering while he looked over the menu once more. To his surprise soda was a thing here, and not every piece of food consisted of greens.

“And for you sir?” the waiter asked him.

“The grilled cheese with tomato soup…slightly burned on the grilled cheese please. Oh and….Ginger Ale to drink as well.”

“A good choice sir.” The waiter said as he gathered the menus and headed to the kitchen. Twilight looked like she had a question for Dan.

“Why do you want your sandwich burnt Dan?”

“It gives it a bit of flavor and makes it kinda crunchy.”

“Yeah yeah, enough about your taste in food there big guy, now I believe you were challenging me to a hoof wrestling match?”

“If you wanna lose…you are on.” He taunted Rainbow Dash.

Okay, I didn’t think it was a great idea to egg on Rainbow like that giving how competitive she can be. But as applejack says; when life gives you apples make apple cider.

Rainbow then put her foreleg up on the table and glared at me.

“Yeah well put up or shut up big guy.”

I put my elbow on the table and wrapped my hand around your hoof hoping that this wouldn’t turn out bad.

“Can someone give us a count down?” I looked to one of the other girls. Applejack being a sporting type obliged us. She got off her seat stood on her back legs and put her hooves on top of ours.

“Alright you two lets have a good match here…Three…Two…One…GO!”

Rainbow then began pulling her hardest on my arm and she was doing pretty well. She threw her whole body into it and managed to get my arm about half way down. But human arms were made for this and I could see that pony limbs were not exactly cut out for this.

“Ha you see Dan I told you…”

Rainbow didn’t get to finish that sentence as I finally began moving. Using a good amount of strength I moved us back to our starting positions. Then I started to move her hoof towards the table.

“Wha…but how can you?”

“Human arms Rainbow; kinda meant to do stuff like this.” I said as I touched her hoof to the table. Apparently this stunned everyone. While they were busy staring with their jaws hanging open the waiter cam and brought us our food and drink.

“You…you beat me…” Rainbow said dejectedly.

“Yes, but only because my arms were basically made to work in that kind of motion…plus rainbow look at me; I’m six foot two and over one hundred and fifty pounds. If I lost it would mean that I would be the weakest thing on the planet….one of Fluttershy’s cheers would be able to knock me over.”

I joked trying to make Rainbow feel better. Apparently it worked seeing as how she started to laugh. I looked to Fluttershy and nodded an apology; she accepted seeing as she knew what I was trying to do.

“Yeah if you beat and you were that weak then I would have a problem…I guess I underestimated you big guy.”

“Is that my nickname now or something?”

“It is until I can think of something that is at least…” she stopped in thought and I hoped she was going to say what I think she was going to say.

“Thirty percent cooler.” Rainbow Dash right then broke my heart and left it on the floor.

“Okay fine with me then.” I said picking up my grilled cheese, taking a bite I realized something about food in a cartoon world…it’s all better; I couldn’t figure out words to describe it but everything is just better. I had finished my grilled cheese and was working on the soup when the waiter came back to check on us; more specifically his newest strangest customer, me.

“And is your meal to your liking sir?”

“Oh it was just great, I don’t know what it is about the food here but it’s just fantastic!” I said while giving him a thumb up. He acknowledged the compliment but then stared quizzically at my hand. It took me a second to make a connection.

“…….ooohhh right hand gesture; you ponies wouldn’t get them….”

I felt a little sad that no one would get my meanings, Twilight tried to cheer me up a bit with some news.

“Actually Dan, there might be one pony I can think of who will notice your more human intricacies.”

“Twilight you don’t mean?”

“I sure do Applejack; don’t you remember she was always going on about it?

“Yeah but we thought that she was just being super crazy.”

“Rainbow, that is no way to talk about someone just because they have a weird fascination with something.”

“Uh girls who are you talking about?” I was confused, I felt like I should be remembering somepony from the way they were talking but I couldn’t put my finger on anypony.

“Oh well Dan the mare we are talking about…Dan what’s that on you wrist?”

“Huh what do you…?” I looked and there seemed to be a sort of minty green ring of rope tied around my wrist.

“Now when did this get here?” I gave a small tug at the rope, and to my horror it tugged back. I waited a second before I tried to do anything; and when I would look back on this day in the future I would regret that.

All of a sudden instead of a soft and gentle tug the rope basically sprang to life, went taut, and pulled hard on my arm. Now since my arm was good and attached to me it pulled me as well. And not thinking that this would happen I was unprepared and because of that I went flying

“AAAHHHH” I screamed as I went flying a good ten feet through the air and landed on the ground with a thud.

“Dan are you okay?!” Pinkie called out obliviously.

“Yeah I am okay after just flying roughly ten feet” is what I would have said if this magic rope attached to my wrist hadn’t started pulling again. Instead what came out of my mouth was this.


After a couple of seconds when you could hear my scream in the distance Pinkie finally spoke again.

“I don’t get it, what did hey say?”

All the other girls as well as the waiter could only wait in shock as their friend who for some reason couldn’t stop getting hurt somehow. They sat there in shock before one of them spoke again.

“Uh girls shouldn’t we try to catch up to the big guy?”

“Well Rainbow Dash I think it might be better for him to come to a stop first. I think I know who is behind this and when Dan finally gets to her; we will sort everything out then.

“Well I hope she has a good reason for messing up those clothes I keep making him.”


Well let’s recap how my day has been so far… I woke up cuddling a lavender unicorn and having her friends take pictures of it, that wasn’t bad. I made peace with Angel so he wouldn’t go all bugs bunny on me, again another good point. I got beaten up by chickens on all sides….I will never speak about that again. I got a massage; oh god that was so great. Had an awesome sandwich; still not as good as the massage but I liked it. And now….now I was being dragged by my wrist through Ponyville by some kind of magic. Well until I get to the end of this fishing line there’s only one thing to do now.

“EVERYONE WATCH OUT AND GET OUT OF THE WAY!!!” I yelled to anyone that would be in my path as I was dragged through the middle of Ponyville. Moving at a good speed I could see ponies that I knew from the show and some who I have never seen before. Then I hit something. I looked up…well forward from where I was and saw flowers.

“Um…excuse me are you okay?”

I turned my head a bit and I saw a mare who was wondering about that stranger who had just crashed into her flower cart. She had cream colored fur and a mane that was some shade of red; curse my colorblindness.

“Um yeah…you’re Rose right?” This took her by surprise a bit; she wondered how this creature she never met before knew her name.

“Yes but how did you know?”

“It’s a long story, can you tell me where I am at the moment?

“Um your in the middle of Ponyville square…what happened to you.”

“Well I was eating lunch with Twilight and then this magic rope thing sort caught itself on my wrist and started pulling me along.” I explained as I stood up and took in my surroundings. I saw groups of ponies that stared at me in shock.

“Heh, I guess if the only human in Equestria comes sliding into the middle of town and hits a flower cart owned by a nice mare that it’s going to cause a good amount of confusion right?” I joked as I looked to Rose.

“I guess that would be true Mr. Human.” She chuckled.

“Oh the name is Dan; Mr. Human just sounds weird.” I laughed back. “Now I just have to wait a little.”

“Wait for what Dan?” Rose asked innocently.

“Well I was being dragged like a fish on a hook and since I’m not at the feet…hooves of the pony reeling me that means it’s only a matter of time before this rope starts pulling again.”

“How long should it take Dan?” Again with the innocent questions; these ponies are gonna give me a heart condition if I don’t have one already.

“To be precise Rose, it should only be a few sec-” Nothing in this place ever lets me finish a sentence; the magic rope on my wrist suddenly started pulling harder this time and I started moving much faster than I had before.

“Goodbye Dan!” Rose yelled to me, making a joke at my expense.

“NOT FUNNY!!!” I yelled back, I managed to catch a glimpse of her laughing on the ground before I hit something else. And this something else was full of apples.

But unlike the last time I didn’t stop, this time I simply bounced off it and continued to be pulled although this time I was on my stomach and could get a better view of where I was going. As I slid along I saw that the CMC were in my path I tried to warn them with ample time but got a little dirt in my mouth. By the time I could warn again it was too late.

“Girls lookout!!!” I managed to squeak out a second before I collided with them. Three tiny little “oofs” was all I heard as I sent them into the air a little and then felt them collide with my back.

“Hey what was that for!” I heard Scootaloo shout from behind me, or more specifically my back.

“Are all three of you on my back?”

“Yeah and we would like an apology mister.” Sweetie Bell exclaimed.

“Or at least buy some apples!” The last was from Applebloom.

“Okay, I’m sorry that someone is dragging me somewhere and basically kidnapping me…but your welcome for the ride.” Sarcasm feels good when you being dragged to who knows where.

I was still being pulled after a minute or two before the girls brought something to my attention.

“Uh Dan, I think you should take a look ahead.”

Well I did and honestly I didn’t think my luck could get that bad.

“Is that a….”

“Brick wall….yes.” Sweetie squeaked out in fear.

“Girls get on my shoulders now.”

I felt their little hooves shuffle on my back as the got to my shoulders. I honestly hoped that what I was about to do next would work.

“Okay now hang on and don’t let go.”

“What are you gonna do?” they asked in unison.

“This!” I said as I pushed my self from my feet and broke into a sprint towards the wall. I had only a few feet in between me and the wall when I started running so I had to time it right. With a good foot or so I leaped as high as I could; thankfully the wall was a lot smaller once I got to a standing position. I managed to fly right over the top of it by a couple on inches; the only bad problem was landing. Once again, my front took the fall and managed again to collide my face with something…at least it was soft grass.

I wasn’t unconscious but everything was dark; I had landed with my hood covering my head. While just laying there a thought popped into my head that if I just stayed here forever in this spot maybe I wouldn’t get hurt anymore. Then I heard some voices, and they weren’t inside my head.

“See guys I’ve been telling you that humans are real and finally I have proof!” the mare’s voice sounded chipper and upbeat.

“Well well well, I guess you were right all along Ly.” The next sounded more tomboyish or tomcoltish whatever it was in pony language.”

“Why does he look so roughed up and dirty” there was an air of sophistication in the next voice I heard.

I was about to look up and address which ponies were apparently talking about me, but as I did I forgot about the three little fillies on my back who then moved forward and pinned my head to the ground as they stood on it.

“Hi Ms. Heartstrings!” I could tell they screamed in unison.

“Oh hi girls, I didn’t see you there, and I told you three that you can call me Lyra…What are you doing on this human’s back?” Lyra…the name rang a bell for some reason.

“Well…” Applebloom started “We were on our way to try something to get our cutie marks but then…” a new voice cut her off.

“LYRA HEARTSTRINGS!!!! What are you doing!?!?!” it sounded like a regular college girl’s voice.

“Oh hi Bon Bon, I was just showing the girls that humans are real and talking to the cutie mark crusaders here…why what’s up?” I heard her ask as if she was being blamed for something she didn’t do.

“What’s up?....WHATS UP?!?! How did you bring the human here Lyra?” I could hear anger in Bon Bon’s voice.

“Well I just used a magic fetch spell that would find him and bring him here…why?”

“Oh I don’t know, maybe because the fetch spell dragged him from the restaurant he was eating at and literally dragged him all the way through Ponyville square where he collided with a couple of things before accidentally picking these three fillies up and barely missing colliding with a wall by jumping over it!!!”

“Did that really happen?” I felt that now was the best time to interject.

“Mmef ifp fmid.” I managed to say with the CMC sitting on top of my head.

“Oh Dan, sorry forgot you were down there, what did ya say? Applebloom said as the three of them got of my head.

“I said, yes it did. And it’s okay girls…hey you should check if you got a cutie mark for human sledding.” I replied as I got off my stomach and sat on the ground.

With surprise and anticipation the girls’ faces lit up in smiles as the looked to their flanks on to find that they did not get a cutie mark for sledding on a human, but instead of frowning they looked to Dan with a bit of anger.

“I’m sorry it was just to funny to resist girls” Dan said as he laughed forgetting that four other mares were watching him.

“He…he talks…” Dan turned his head and came face to face with the four mares. One he knew was Bon Bon who was creamed colored with a mixed purple colored mane, The other two were Vinyl Scratch and Octavia; the white fur and electric blue mane next to the grey fur with jet black mane told him so, and last would be Lyra whose mint green fur with her mint toothpaste colored hair.

“Uh hi, the name is Dan.” I said to try to introduce myself.

Lyra made the first move, and by first move I mean she got all up in my face and started talking as fast as Pinkie could.

“Ohmygoshohmygosh YOU CAN TALK!!!! I can’t believe it you’re real and you talk!! Oh I have so many questions to ask…oh let me get a look at you.” She steeped away for a second before glancing down Dan’s body and then gasping.

“You have hands!!” She ran forwards and picked up one of his hands with her hoof and moved it around. “Oh this is just too COOL!” she squealed.

I laughed and looked at the group around us, Vinyl and Octavia smiled and laughed a bit while Bon Bon still looked up set but a quick look and me shrugging my shoulders calmed her down a bit to watch her friend with her foal like happiness.

“Dan!!” I heard Twilight’s voice call out from a distance. The Crusaders, Lyra’s group and I looked and there was Twilight, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Applejack running towards us, Pinkie was doing her usual gravity defying bounce while Rainbow glided in above them. They all came to a stop except for Twilight who ran right up to me and gave me a hug.

“Dan are you okay we saw you get dragged away and we thought you might get hurt again and…”

“Twilight it’s alright…what’s one more head trauma gonna do…kill me?”

Apparently Twilight didn’t take the joke lightly, she broke off the hug and went straight after Lyra.

“Lyra what were you thinking!?!?!”

“That I finally have proof of humans and that I am going to show my friends?” she answered warily.

“So you use magic to drag him through half of Ponyville!?!?”

“Um yes?”


“Why?” Lyra started to go on the offensive herself “Why? Because I have believed in humans for the longest time and no one believed me. And when I hear that there is a human I felt insulted that I wasn’t being consulted as an anthropologist.”

“Lyra we have been over this there is no such branch of science as Anthropology.”

“Oh yeah considering that there is absolutely positively no such thing as a human” Lyra laid on the sarcasm as thick as apple molasses as she responded and pointed at me. Twilight backed off a bit as she felt embarrassed. A remark as clever as that deserved some appreciation.

“Oooh good one Lyra!” I extended my fist out which she accepted and touched with her own hoof.

“No problem I got your back bro.” Her response made both of us laugh. While we laughed Twilight shook off her embarrassment and came back into the fray.

“Okay then Lyra, that may be true now but that still doesn’t give you the right…”

I couldn’t hear the rest but soon enough Twilight and Lyra were horn to horn arguing with each other loud enough that I backed off. I looked around the groups and from the looks I got I could guess that Twilight and Lyra had done this before. Rarity and Octavia were dismissing their yelling in their sophisticated way. Vinyl and Rainbow were placing bets on who might throw the first blow. Applejack was talking to her sister and the other Crusaders, while Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Bon Bon were busy making small talk till everything blew over.

I decided that it might be in my best interest to stop Twilight and Lyra so we could move on with the day. I stood up and made my way over to the arguing mares. They didn’t seem to acknowledge my approach, not even when I decided to pick them up by the scruff of the back of their necks like cats.

“AHEM!!” I cleared my throat loudly to get the attention of the two arguing parties. Twilight and Lyra stopped and took a look at where they were, which was a couple two feet apart from each other and suspended about four to five feet in the air. They were both quiet for a couple of seconds before Twilight spoke first.

“Um Dan, what are you doing?”

“Besides holding both of you like fighting cats who I am disappointed at?”

“Yea besides that.”

“Nothing much…”

“Well can you put us down please?” Lyra asked.

“Are you two going to behave like good wittle phillwies?” I put on a childish voice. Everyone laughed except for the two mares in my hands.

And just like they were back in school both of them answered “Yes” in unison. Now with them still in my grasp I moved them closer and pushed them together “Now hug.” Which they did.

After I set them down Lyra wanted to ask me a question but another voice interrupted us.

“Hey Applejack” all of us turned to find Big Mac walking along with some other stallions.

“Hey Big Mac, what’s goin on.”

“Well me and the boys were wantin to play some hoofball and thought maybe a couple of you and your mare friends would want to join us”.

Before Applejack could answer Rainbow did “Sure we would, but are you sure you wanna get beatin that bad?”

Applejack look liked she wanted to play but something crossed her mind first.

“Sure Mac but what about Dan, can he play.”

Mac looked to the human and they exchanged that guy look once again. I looked at the ball in his hoof it was a regular football.

“If he can keep up” he said with a smile.

“Oh it is on.” A grin crept onto my face in anticipation of what would happen next.


View Online


As Dan walked with the group of ponies he thought to himself for a couple of minutes. The main thing on his mind though was a certain song that used to come on once a week. He hummed it to himself unaware that somepony was trying to tell him something.

“Dan!” he looked at the source of the irritated voice; Twilight was giving him a stern glare.

“Were you listening to anything I just said?”

“Honestly no I was lost in an old daydream…what were you saying?”

“Well I was introducing you to everyone!”

“OK then start over.” Twilight kept glaring at me while I laughed it off; I knew she would start again if I waited long enough.

“…….fine…Well this is Caramel.” She pointed out a light brown stallion with a cutie mark of three horseshoes. He seemed a bit intimidated by my stature.

“Uh hi.” He said sheepishly. He struck me as a stallion version of Fluttershy. Twilight then pointed to a darker brown stallion with an hourglass for his mark.

“And this is Doctor Whooves. He helps fix some things around town.” I gave a nod to him.

“Well I tell people to call me Doctor Whooves or Doc Whooves, but in actuality if you want you can just call me…”

“The Doctor right?” I said in a satisfied tone.

“The d…how did you?” he was surprised at my guess

“Just a hunch I’ve had Doctor.” Twilight then pointed to the next Stallion we were walking with.

“This is Thunderlane, he works with Dash on the weather team” He was flying just above Twilight and the others; around shoulder height for me. For my eyes at least he would have been hard to miss; he had a dark grey coat and a white mohawk for a mane. He looked at me and gave me a nod.

“How’s it goin?” he asked.

“The day has had its ups and downs” I answered, this day truly was something else. Then again it was my first “normal” day in Ponyville.

Since I Already knew Big Mac; Twilight skipped him and moved to the last stallion in the group.

“And this is Snowflake.” She noted tot the gigantic muscled stallion walking next to us. I remembered seeing him during the show but never concretely knew his name. We looked at each other and like I had done with some of the others a simple nod was all we needed. But something in me persisted to ask him a question.

“Havin a good day snowflake?” As the words left my mouth other ponies in the group suddenly stopped and turned to look at me with a bit of panic on their faces. I looked to Snowflake who now had a very serious look on his face. He didn’t say anything for a couple of seconds; but then like a cannon he basically shouted to the heavens.


The force of his voice was almost enough to throw me off my feet but I managed to stay standing. I looked to Twilight and saw that Snowflakes’ yell had caused her mane to stand straight up. It was very hard not to laugh; for the other I mean; I laughed whole heartedly.

“You did that on purpose didn’t you?” the anger in her voice rising.

“Yeah I had to at least once…is that all the introductions?” I asked as I saw the group start to move again.

“Well you already met Lyra, Bon Bon, Octavia, and my cousin Vinyl.” she said as we caught up to the back of the group where Vinyl and Octavia were walking.

“Yeah I guess that is every…” it took a second for the last part of the information to sink in.

“WAIT!!” I said frightening Twilight “Vinyl is your cousin!?!?”

“Um yes didn’t you know that?”

“Would I sound this surprised if I did?”

“Hmm I guess not, but yes it’s true isn’t that right Vinyl?” she said to Vinyl and started to walk until Vinyl grabbed her and pulled her to her side.

“Yep the little egghead here is my younger cousin, heck I’m technically older than Shining by a day or two...oh and Dan I forgot to thank you for saving my brother pipsqueak during that whole fire thing the other day….so thanks.”

“Oh ok it no prob…YOUR BROTHER IS PIPSQUEAK!!!” I couldn’t keep my volume down this time.

Vinyl just laughed at me saying “Heh if you think that’s surprising, just wait till you find out who my dad is.

I was being teased by ponies who were about one third of my height…this was still being a very strange day. Eventually we reached a hoofball field that was set up within the town. To me it looked the same as a regular football field. A couple of the girls; namely Twilight, Rarity, Lyra, Bonbon, Octavia, and Vinyl sat on the sidelines considering they weren’t the most sporty bunch. That left me, the stallion, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack to play.

“Dan I hope you have good skills in ambidextrous receiving!” I managed to hear from Twilight. It took me a minute to figure out her scientific wording.

“It’s called catching Twilight…” I said deadpanned. “And that’s what these are for.” I flexed my fingers and hands.

“I’ll show ya somepony throw me the ball.” Macintosh had the ball and he slowly hoofed it over to me. I was ready to catch but before I could a blur sped past me and took the ball.

“Well well well what do we have here fellas?” it was a voice I didn’t recognize. I looked and saw a Pegasus stallion I didn’t recognize talking to another group of ponies.

“Looks like we have some stallions, two fillies, and a…” he looked at me with confusion “and a thing…” I laughed at his poor attempt at coming up with something to call me. “Tryin to play a little hoofball on our turf here.”

His group moved closer to him while he played around with Mac’s ball. Being the odd man out…literally; I decided to speak for the group.

“Is there some sort of problem here?”

“Well the big thing talks. You could say there is a problem here seeing that this is our field and you didn’t ask permission to use it…or at least didn’t send one of the fillies to say hi to us.” He gave a wink to Rainbow Dash as he finished. It was a bad move on his part; I could tell that they probably were not from Ponyville or else they would recognize some of the ponies with us; he also didn’t see or hear the rainbow blur racing towards him with intent to harm; luckily I moved my arm out to my side to stop her and Dash got the message right before she collided with my arm.

“Oh so the fillies got some fire in her huh? I like a mare like that.” This stallion who I now nicknamed “Douchebag” even finished that statement with a cheesy grin…I may be regretting the choice to not let Dash crush him.

“Heh you don’t have a snowballs chance in Tartarus with her buddy; and if we accidentally stepped on your turf; we’re sorry. Now can we have our ball back?” I hoped being a little polite would straighten the situation out.

“mmmmm no I think we’ll keep it.” Uh oh. “Now why don’t you and your ragtag group of friends here run along and scram before we decide to get less friendly.” He said as he started to fly back to his group of friends. I looked at Rainbow who looked ready to explode and looked back at the group who also looked like they were ready to fight. It was about here that I got a nice idea.

“How bout we play you for it?” I shouted to the Pegasus. He stopped and turned around to see me with my genuine maniac muppet grin on.

“Excuse me?” I love it when I completely catch people off guard.

“You think you and your friends are such hot stuff why don’t you put your bits where your mouth is?” my statement got every one riled up. I had put the stallion in no win situation.

“….Fine me and my guys will play what’s you terms?”

“If we win we get the ball back and if we come back you leave us alone…for good.”

“And if we win?” the stallion asked.

“Keep the ball and we won’t bother you again…heck we will say you’re the best hoofball players around.”

The stallion mulled his options over and then with his own grin replied “Yes”.

“Ok then get your eight ready.” I said turning around to walk back to the group.

“Dan are you sure that’s a good…” Rainbow started to ask a question but I picked her up and held her underneath my arm as I walked.

“Trust me Rainbow for what we are about to do and the group we have these guys will never see it coming.” Rainbow looked up at me and she could see the grin on my face which in turn also made her grin.

“You got a plan big guy?”

“A really good one yes.”

After I reached the group I set Rainbow down and told everyone what was going on. I got some stares back from the group. Applejack pretty much summed up what everyone wanted to say.

“Are you sure this is a good idea sugarcube?”

“Ok guys and gals trust me here. We got the two strongest stallions in Ponyville, the fastest flier in Equestria, one of the best rodeo cowponies, and Equestria’s only human. We can beat these guys they look so plain and ordinary.”

“Well I guess we do have some good talent on this team but…”

“But nothing Applejack we can beat these guys easy peasy.” Rainbow decided to take my side.

“Are you losers ready over there?” The stallion and his team were ready to go.

“Yeah sure you kickoff; first to 8 touchdowns wins?”

“Fine with us just don’t get upset when we kick your flanks back to ponyloserville!!”

After his horrible insult I looked back to my team and saw fire in each of their eyes; none of them liked it when somebody insulted Ponyville.

“Ok team now that we are ready I’ll return the first kickoff.”

“Uh Dan don’t you think that the fastest pony should return it?” Rainbow asked.

“When we get to the humiliation phase yes Rainbow but first comes the shock and awe…plus a touchdown right off the bat just doesn’t sound fun enough.”

“…Fine we’ll play it your way.” She said as she glided off into a defensive formation with the rest of the team. I made my way back to our end zone; and on the way there I heard Lyra cheer for me.

“DAN GO HAM ON THESE GUYS!!!” it made me laugh to here her say that. It made me laugh harder when Twilight and Bon Bon questioned her.

“Lyra what does that even mean?”

“Yes what does it mean and why does ham not sound like it should be used in that phrasing?”

“Hey Dan knows what it means and he will take it to heart and KICK SOME FLANK!!”

I almost fell to the ground for how funny that was. I got into position and signaled that we were all good to go. One of the other stallions then bucked the ball up into the air. I watched it fall and as it came towards me I felt another song start to play.

I caught the ball and broke off running straight; I made it to the 20 yard line before I crossed paths with a Pegasi coming straight for me. I let him get within a foot before I spin around on my left foot letting him fly by. I didn’t stop to see the look on anypony’s face I just kept running I got to the forty before an earth pony tried to tackle. I’m guessing with four hooves it is very hard to juke somepony in this game because when I side step juked this pony he was shocked as hell. Sadly I only made it to the fifty yard line before somepony got the idea to push me out of bounds.

I walked to where the group was huddling and looked to see the other team staring at me with surprise and just a bit of anger. Meanwhile when I got to my group I saw looks of amazement coming from all the ponies.

“Wow Dan those were some fancy moves partner.”



“I say they did seem rather extraordinary”

Everyone gave their two cents about my fancy footwork and gave me a bit of praise. Rainbow Dash seemed really into my moves.

“I mean that was awesome the whole spinny thing and then you almost let the other guy get you but then you just like jumped out of the way it was so awesome.”

“Dash focus we still got to play more.”

“Right right so what are we doing next big guy?”

“Well if you liked the running; let me be quarterback and let’s see how you like my throwing.” I honestly couldn’t keep my sly grin off my face if I tried at the moment. “Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Thunderlane; you guys go long and get open. Big Mac and Snowflake; you guys make the middle of the center line while Caramel and the Doctor go on the outside OK?”

Everyone accepted their positions and moved out. Big Mac was in position to hike the ball and Rainbow was itching to fly up the field. She could probably out fly her opponent but the rules of hoofball that Twilight told me about on our walk here stated that Pegasi were grounded to an eight feet maximum flight altitude.

“Hey look guys the thing thinks he can be a quarterback.” Ok now Douchebag was starting to piss me off.

“Know.” I specifically said to him out loud.

“Excuse me?” he looked puzzled.

“I know I’m a quarterback, not think.”

“Well excuse me Mr. smart g…”

“Hike!!” I decided to blindside the guy and hike it while he was forming yet another bad insult. I wasn’t going to try to do anything fancy for this; I just did a simple three step drop back. Big Mac and Snowflake easily held the line and I had no problems waiting for someone to get open. Sure enough a few seconds later I could see Dash wide open from her defender and I knew exactly where she was headed. I pulled my arm back and began to throw. While throwing only one other thought entered my mind besides throwing dash this past; I wondered how this looked to the ponies watching me. My arm moved forward and I slowly released the ball with a flick of my fingers. I quickly pondered if I had gotten any stronger since being in Equestria cause after I let the ball go that thing absolutely flew through the air.

Glad to see that I had thrown a nearly perfect spiral pass; I didn’t want the first impression of a human playing sports in Equestria to be a lousy one. I watched the ball start to come down and sure enough Rainbow was under it just in time to catch it straight into the end zone….dam I threw that pretty far. I honestly lost count at how many times I had amazed somepony today. Every one gathered near the sidelines as we cheered a bit for scoring first.

“Dan that was amazing!!!”

“Wowie Dan that ball just went zoom!!!”

The praise came for awhile before we decided that we had to keep playing the game because Douchebag’s team was getting impatient. I let Applejack have the kick off and she nearly booted that thing to the moon. The other team settled for the twenty yards because it went out the end zone. We set up in a formation with me in the secondary and I could see that Douchebag decided that he wanted to be quarterback.

“Hey Mr. thing not gonna play up here with the big ponies…are ya scared or something? Watcha gonna do all the way out there?” after my awesome throw he was trying to keep his team morale up with crappy jokes. And even back here in the secondary I knew exactly what I was gonna do.

Seemingly after yelling at his team for half a minute; Douchebag finally managed to hike the ball. Big Mac, Snowflake, Caramel, and Doc Whooves basically caved in the enemy line and were going to sack Douchebag but he got a lucky pass off. The receiver had barely shaken off Thunderlane and the Pegasus thought h might be able to catch the ball…that was until everything in front of him was blocked by a huge shadow.

I was pretty much waiting for a pass to come; because since Pegasi were grounded to a max of eight feet I had a good chance to block. What with being six foot two inches and at least 1 foot vertical jump (kinda hard to measure myself) and a six foot wingspan big enough to grab the tips of both horns of a longhorn bull; I had no problem going way over that eight foot limit.

So I jumped and completely obliterated the Pegasus’s chance at c catching and simply smacked the ball to the ground. So far this was turning out to be a fun game. Meanwhile all the ponies were still staring in awe at my displays of athleticism. I managed to calm my team down and told them to focus we can celebrate and talk everything after the game.

With me blocking all passes and the other team having no hope of running the ball; fourth down came up very quickly and Douchebag decided to punt. I let Rainbow take the catch on this one; and sure enough with her quicker than lightning flying it was an instant second touchdown.

The game pretty much continued like this for awhile and soon enough the scores was seven to zero. Douchebag’s team was exhausted from the level of play we were putting them through. While my some of my team was barely breaking a sweat…some other though…

“Jeez Thunderlane are you always this out of shape?” Rainbow hovered around him in a circle softly flapping her wings.

“Mostly…just not…when you need me…to work…” he said in between heavy breaths.

Caramel was slightly better considering her works at Applejacks farm from time to time. I looked over to our opponents to see that they hadn’t quite given up yet.

“Ok guys we got one more touchdown to get and it’s their ball so let’s keep playing like we have; got it?”

“Yes coach.” the whole group said to me at once before they started laughing. We got back into our formation and got ready for their snap. From where I was standing I could see Douchebag snap the ball. What I didn’t see was two of their guys go straight for Caramel. I heard someone scream and took my eyes off the game; I saw Caramel on the ground holding one of his forelegs.

Everyone on the team forgot about the game for a second. We didn’t care that the other team was still going and had scored their first touchdown. Rainbow and Applejack were the first to him and were him over.

“Alright now where does it hurt Caramel?” Applejack slowly poked her hoof up until she hit about half way up and Caramel’s hoof twitched in pain.

“There!!! Definitely there” you could hear the pain in his voice.

While we were making sure that Caramel wasn’t too hurt someone decided to make an announcement to our group.

“What happened did someone get hurt? You know this is a very “violent” sport; ponies should be careful that nothing bad happens to them.” Douchebag said with all the intent to threaten us.

I turned around and was about to return verbal fire until the beginning of my sentence was interrupted by a loud thunderclap from above. Me and a couple of other ponies looked up to see the gray clouds above us that were ready to begin raining. I looked over to see that Douchebag had a look of relief on his face.

“Well it looks like rain I guess we just have to postpone this little engagement. Hopefully next time you guys have a little more common sense about who you play.” He said as him and his group started to turn around and walk away.

“NO no no no no no… Do you really think a little bad weather is going to stop this?” I shouted their way and managed to stop them in their tracks.

“Where I come from; if it starts raining it only makes the game more fun. So how bout we finish this game now. Next touchdown wins…I’ll even let you have the ball at the fifty.” I planted the bait out and the open cause I knew that Douchebag was too stupid not to take it.

“Dan what are you doing; I mean I don’t mind playing in the rain; but giving them the ball after what they did to Caramel!!!” Dash quickly got in my face about my decision.

“How is he?” I asked as I looked at the sky as rain slowly started falling.

“Well it doesn’t look like anything bad, nothing is broken; but it looks like it is hurting him some… What are you planning?” she could sense that I was up to something.

“Step three; Rainbow; step three.”

“What exactly is step 3 huh big guy?”

“Well step one was shock and awe, step two was surprise, and step three…is scare.”

“What does that mean?” I could tell by the look on her face that Dash was confused by my words.

“You know when it happens.” I wanted to say more but we were interrupted.

“Hey Mr. Thing I think we can agree to your terms; just don’t complain when you lose.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” I said as I saw that they got Caramel to the sidelines and Twilight was taking a look at him; she had also put a shield over the group on the sidelines so not one would get too wet. Probably a good idea because I didn’t want to be held responsible for getting Rarity wet.

As they set him down they came back over to me and I could tell they had questions. They all looked to me and wondered what the plan was; fortunately Big Mac was the only one to ask.

“So what’s the plan Dan?”

“Glad you asked Mac. What going to happen is that you and Snowflake keep doing what you are doing, Thunderlane and the Doctor will move into the secondary with Applejack while I join to front line.”

“Hey but what about me?” Rainbow wondered what her place was in this situation.

“Oh yeah; Rainbow you just stay behind me and wait.”

“Wait for what exactly?”

“Step three.”

“I still don’t know what step three even is!!!”

“You’ll know it when you see it…now lets go before we get too soaked.”

We broke the huddle and got into our positions; Douchebag’s team had been ready about a minute ahead of us. What they weren’t ready for was what was about to happen next.

Douchebag hiked the ball and tried to wait for a receiver to get open he was flapping his wings to get about three feet off. Big Mac and Snowflake handled the blockers in front of the while our secondary managed to keep the receivers covered.

Now in the small amount of time that happened I made my move. I easily got around the blocker in front of me and went straight for Douchebag. He never saw me coming as I lowered my shoulder just a bit and lunged for him arms outstretched. I hit him straight in the barrel and wrapped my arms around him pinning his wings to his side. The ball in his outstretched hoof however went into the air and I know exactly who was there to catch it. As I landed on the pony I saw a rainbow blur shoot towards the football and head to the end zone.

Rainbow scored our winning point kind of like how I had planned. The team ran over and congratulated her and we cheered as we walked back to the Caramel and the rest of the girls that had watched us play. Pinkie in particular was really excited.

“Congratulations guys that was awesome; except for the part where Caramel got hurt that wasn’t awesome but other that that it was AWSOME. We should totally celebrate this as well as throw Dan a welcome to Ponyville party which we haven’t done yet.

“Hey Pinkie can we throw my party another day I’m kinda wet at the moment and tired from playing…how bout a day when it’s not so rainy out?”

“Sure Dan but mark my words one of these days you’re going to let me throw a party or wake up with a mustache.” Everyone looked at her trying to decipher what exactly that meant before we broke into laughter.

The big group of us walked back into Ponyville until we all started to go our separate ways for the night. I promised Lyra that I would talk to her and tell her about humans, and Rarity chastised me about getting my clothes wet and dirty.

While Twilight and I were walking back to the library Twilight posed a question to me.

“So Dan how did you like your first day in Ponyville?”

Just to mess with her I said “Eh I give it a C.”

She literally stopped dead in her tracks and her face contorted in horror. “A….C….only a C…I’ve never gotten a C before IT’S HORRIBLE!!!” she looked like she was on the verge of tears.

“Twilight!! Twilight I’m only kidding I had a fantastic day it definitely deserves an A.” She looked at me with misty eyes like something was still wrong. In a deadpanned tone I asked her “Would making it an A plus make you happy?” She shook her head vigorously. “Fine it gets an A plus then”.

She jumped into my arms with joy “Yeah I was kinda worried that you might not like it here.”

“Twilight I’ve learned a lot of things over the years and one thing I think you should try to do I to ALWAYS look on the bright side of life…IT can always get worse.”

The pony in my arms thought to herself for a moment as we got closer to the library and then asked me another question. “It can get worse than being chased by Fluttershy’s chickens?”

“Yes there could have been a lot more chickens.”

We both laughed as we got to the front door of the library. I set Twilight down and opened the door for us. We got in and Spike was waiting for us with some hot soup. We told Spike about everything that happened and like everyone else he laughed at the chicken bit. Afterwards it was about time for bed and I noticed that most of my clothes were still soaked.

“Hey Twilight where am I sleeping tonight?”

“Well since we basically already slept in the same bed together I thought you wouldn’t mind…do you?”

“Um…no not really I just thought that because of you reaction this morning that…”

“It’s fine I was just surprised that’s all…and no hugging me like a teddy bear in my sleep!” she ended that sentence fiercely.

“Only if you want it right?” of course I was being sarcastic but I was surprised by her reply.

“Yes only if I want…” she started to say but then caught herself in the middle of that embarrassment. The blush on her face was pretty noticeable as she struggled to find the right words. “I didn’t mean that… I mean you were kinda warm but…I mean…”

“Twilight there are times to keep talking and then times to just stop.”

“Shutting her mouth and nodding furiously Twilight agreed.”

Being the funny guy that I was though I figured that one more joke couldn’t hurt. “Do you want me to carry you to your bed milady I said picking up the small lavender pony again.

“Dan!!! What are you! Stop it” she said fighting a fit of giggles. I saw her horn light up and noticed her using telekinesis on books and floating them towards me intent on hitting me probably.

“Ah runaway!!” I fake screamed as I moved up the stairs to the bedroom; Twilight still in my arms. Getting inside and closing the door behind me I set Twilight down who was still angrily laughing a me.

“What did you do that for?”

“To be funny of course” I said as I took off most of my clothes except for my boxers.

“Wha Why are you getting undressed?” if Twilight blushed any harder she might pass out form all the blood in her face.

“Well you don’t want me to sleep in the bed with wet clothes now do you…plus sometimes I normally sleep like this.” I said as I climbed…well more like fell into the bed; pony bed are kind low to the ground sometimes. I got comfortable while Twilight turned of the light and got into her side of the bed. While getting comfortable she moved a pillow in-between us and stated.

“Alright so don’t cross this line, no funny business you got that mister.”

I tried my hardest not to laugh at her while saying “I make no promises while unconscious.”

“ugh fine just try to stay on your side.” I’m not totally sure if she ever stopped blushing. While waiting she floated a peace of parchment and a quill up.

“What’s this for Twilight?”

“Well I figured that you might want to write to the Princess about your first day in Ponyville.”

“Hmm sounds like a good idea…no peeking though.”

“Fine.” She said as she laid down and turned away from me. I grabbed the quill and began to write.

Dear Princess Celestia (Also Princess Luna, Cadence, and Shining Armor if they are present)

Well princess today was my first “normal day” in Ponyville and let me tell you some interesting things happened. Well first after waking in the middle if the night to find Twilight freezing on her couch I carried her back to her bed and put her in with me; where in some point I snuggled her like a teddy bear. We woke up to her friends taking embarrassing photos of us; I you want one please contact Rarity I know that I will be getting one. After helping Fluttershy I realized that you should NEVER EVER mess with her chickens. At the spa a nice message made my body forget the pain of yesterday. And I was glad to find out that the food tastes absolutely great. Also I met Lyra the town’s and possibly Equestria’s only anthropologist; the study of humans by the way. She literally dragged through Ponyville; magically I might add; just to prove that I exist; now there is a girl on a mission. Oh and also I played a game of hoofball and showed some idiot colts about how it’s done. I got soaked doing it though and I feel like I may be under the weather tomorrow…oh well. But for now I going to sleep and wait to see what tomorrow holds for me. Hopefully Twilight doesn’t mind me snuggling her again she’s kinda soft like a pillow... and I think she enjoys it.

Yours truly; Equestria’s only human,


I finished the letter and quickly woke spike up and had him send the letter. I then laid down fully to go to sleep for the night wondering that if today was any indication that my future days in Ponyville would only get more interesting.


The two princesses and the royal couple were having a bit of tea before some went to bed and one went to rule a country during the night. A wisp of emerald flame caught their attention as did the scroll that came out of it.

“Ah I wonder if this is from Twilight.” Celestia said as she unfurled the scroll with her magic and began to read. “Oh it’s from Dan about his day in Ponyville.” Everyone seemed pleased about the letter. Celestia began reading down and it only took a moment before she blushed a little and started giggling.

“Sister what is it?” Luna said as she leaned over and started reading. Again only a few moments passed before she was giggling like a school girl. Celestia then moved the scroll to the other side of the table and said.

“Shining Armor I think you should read this too.” She couldn’t stop giggling while talking.

“Um ok your majesty” he took the scroll in his own magic and began to read.

“uh huh woke up….pictures?” he spoke only a few words quietly “spa….hoofball…” he was at the bottom of the letter when it happened. “going to bed….snuggling with Twilight….WHAT!!!!” now he grabbed the letter with his hooves his eyes bugging out and frantically re-reading again. “THINK SHE LIKES IT!!!” he screamed as he fell backwards onto his back letting the letter fly into the air. It was grabbed by his wife’s magic that brought it to her eye level and read it herself. She also began giggling just like Celestia and Luna. She was the first to say something in the midst of the laughter.

“Oh Twilight how daring; snuggling with Dan.” At this all three Alicorns broke into laughter; not paying much attention to the guard captain twitching on the ground and who remained in that state for the rest of the night.

Chapter 7: My next normal day in pony-AACHOO!!!...ah shit

View Online

Chapter 7: My next normal day in pony-AACHOO!!!...ah shit

It’s honestly very hard to describe why sleep is so comfortable. You just feel safe and secure and calm when you are. Also add in a blanket and you feel warm; maybe it’s like relating to before you were born inside your mother. And when something stirs you from that feeling it is kind of jarring.

For me any type of light to hit my eyes when I’m sleeping starts the wake up process for me. That was the case for this morning but something was different. I couldn’t figure it out completely without opening my eyes but something felt…heavy. Not only that but I could hear…something. When I wake up I am really groggy; my hearing isn’t fully tuned in, I can’t speak because my throat is dry, and my vision is a bit blurry because my eye aren’t fully open.

“N” I could hear some noise but I couldn’t make it out. It kept progressively getting louder.

“AN” Still no idea what was going on. I opened my eyes a bit and all I could really see was purple.

“Dan” I finally decided to open my eyes the whole way and I could see Twilight looking at me.

“mmmgmornin.” I managed to somewhat say. After letting my vision come into focus I could see why Twilight woke me up. She was lying on my stomach and I was kind of holding her there.

“Didn’t I ask last night if you could try to stay on your side of the bed? I don’t think the middle counts as your side.” I looked at where I was and sure enough I was smack in the middle of the bed; I do toss and turn in my sleep before I hit deep sleep so it is possible to move into the middle of the bed

“Trying to ignore the condition of my throat I croaked out “Yes and I also said that I make no promises when I am unconscious and…” I grabbed twilight and lifted her off my stomach quickly and moved slightly to the side.

“Dan what are you…”

“AAACHOOO!!!” I sneezed pretty loudly; and I couldn’t see from my position and because my eyes were closed but I was pretty sure that I woke Spike up with that one.

“Bless you.” Twilight said from a foot and a half above and slightly to the left of my head. “Now do you think you can put me down please?”

“Sure.” I started to move her but suddenly I felt myself getting a bit weak and while putting her down my arms basically shook the whole time.

“Dan…Are you ok?” Twilight had a worried look on her face “You don’t look so good...” she put a hoof up to my forehead “And you feel very warm Dan…could you be sick?”

“Maybe with how wet I got and how cold I was before going to bed…maybe I caught a little cold.”

“Oh no this is bad….we should get you to a hospital, contact the princesses, Spike get ready to take a letter!” Twilight quickly went into a panic; hopefully I could calm her down before I had ponies in hazard suits prodding me with things.

“Twilight it’s just a simple cold; if I rest and drink plenty of fluids I should be fine no need to sound the alarms.” I tried to joke as I felt my sinuses become stuffed.

“Are you sure Dan?” she put on a worried face that was almost as cute as when the Cutie Mark Crusaders…well…did anything.

“Yes...I’ll even stay on the couch downstairs so you can keep an eye on me ok?”

“Well…fine…but if you get worse you’re going to the hospital mister alright?”

“I will submit if that is the case…which it isn’t.” I said as I got out of bed and put on some new clothes. Afterwards I went back to the bed and grabbed the blanket “I’m taking the blanket with me to the couch though.” I pulled the blanket off the bed and wore it around my shoulder like a cape as I walked out of the room down into the main room of the library and plopped myself on the couch. Twilight followed me shortly after still having that worried look on her face.

“Are you sure that you will be fine Dan?”

“Yes Twilight; I’ll relax, drink some juice, and read a good book and by tomorrow I’ll feel awesome…now where can I find a good book?” I asked looking around the library with a bemused look; hopefully it would cheer Twilight up.

“Um Dan you do know your in a library right?” apparently it didn’t; she stared at me for a second before giving a small gasp. “Is your fever messing with your head!?! I’ll go get the doctors.” She turned and started to run but I managed to grab her tail and stop her.

“Jeez Twilight I don’t think you’ve read enough books on sarcasm and joking; I was being a little facetious.”

She turned around and gave me a glare. “Well that wasn’t very funny…and let go of my tail!” I had forgotten that I still had a grip on it until she whipped it out of my hand.

“I was just trying to lighten the mood Twilight…by the way I did read a lot of books back where I was from so I am hoping that I could find a nice book here.”

“Oh well that perfect; can you tell me what kind of stories did you humans have? What was your favorite?” her eyes lit up at the opportunity to know about books I’ve read…probably should have started with that instead of a bad joke that almost put me in the hospital for a slight cold.

“Well Twilight like most stories they tend to focus on the heroes; we usually don’t care if their male or female; what we do care about is the journey they go on.”

“Like what exactly?” I could see the look of wonder on her face and no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t resist going into an epic monologue about some of my favorite stories.

“Well for our heroes there are times when they go to the deepest parts of the ocean, walk through hell itself, heck sometimes they have to reinvent their identity to get revenge on those who wronged them, and lastly sometimes their journey for the hero is just as simple as there and back again.”

I paused to think for a second about all the stories I read; and which could be considered my favorite. Looking at Twilight I could see that she was still hanging on my words; I thought about what story had ever put me in that situation.

“As for my favorite though…” I was stumped until I thought about which I had read the most. “Was a series of books written about a boy; and it always brings back some good memories.”

“A story about a boy?” she seemed puzzled.

“Yup and just like a certain unicorn he could use magic.”

“But I thought humans couldn’t use magic?

“Not magic per say; but that doesn’t mean that we never right about it. Anyway in the story the boy was a wizard.”

“And what did he do?” I wasn’t sure if her eyes could get any bigger; I also hadn’t noticed that she had gotten on the couch and was basically sitting on my legs.

“He went to school.”


“Yep; he went to school for wizards to learn how to use magic.”

“And is that all to the story?”

“Oh no there some back and side story about how when he was a baby his parents sacrificed themselves to save him from an evil wizard who was out to kill him and somehow as a baby he defeated him and became famous. But since he wasn’t raised by magical folk he didn’t know until he went to the school...and a couple of other little side things but that’s about all.” I looked and Twilight no longer looked at me in amazement…well not child amazement anyway it was more of a angry surprised kind of amazement I could tell by the position of her jaw and how close it was to the floor.

“That’s it….THAT’S IT!?!?! There are whole parts of the story that probably hinge on those facts and make plenty of good plot lines!!”

“Yep they sure do.”

“Then how can you leave them out so casually!?!”

“Because I already know the whole story and I can’t repeat it word for word…and sometimes everything I say just sounds better in my head sometimes.”

After my explanation we just stared at each other for a second until we both started laughing.

“You know you have some really weird ways of wording things Dan.”

“Yeah it would be better if you could read the books yourself. I loved all of them.”

“Why did you like them so much?”

I honestly hadn’t been expecting that question; as I thought I gave Twilight a puzzled look until I came up with an answer I thought was the best.

“Well the main character is a small kid, he had dark hair, wore glasses, he was scrawny, got picked on a lot; and he barely knew what his potential was before the story really got underway; not to mention at the start he was only eleven years old”

“Why would you like a character like that?” She couldn’t wrap her reasoning around my choice.

“Because back when I was eleven I was the same way; I wasn’t as tall, not as strong, and my self confidence was very low cause I got picked on for most of my time in school…So when I first picked up this book and saw that the main character was a spitting image of me I felt happy. I felt like I could also have some kind of power to make a change simply by doing what I can and being myself.”

“Wow that’s very thoughtful Dan.”

“I know I surprise my self sometimes.”

“…There may be a way for me to read the books.”

“What do you mean Twilight?”

“Well remember the spell Celestia used to go inside your mind with all of us?” I thought back to the experience; especially the part where I vomited after a massive amount of knowledge about the human race sprung from my head.


“Well Celestia taught me of a spell when you were unconscious after the accident. It is sort of like the same thing except it simply allows me to draw from your mind I don’t have to enter it and it would make it easier on you too.”

“So I don’t puke.”

“Exactly…do you want to try?” I could see that she really wanted to read the stories; and I didn’t mind letting her peruse my mind…not to mention the face she was making was to adorable to say no to…I’ll probably be saying this to the end of time; curse pony cuteness.

“Sure I have no problem with you reading a book through my head; just don’t mess up anything in there ok?”

“When do I ever make messes?”

“When you’re searching for a particular book, when you start to run late, whenever you are worried about something the princess tells you to do, and do I have to remind you of the Smarty Pants debacle?”

“I..buh you…it…” she was still as adorable when flustered “Fine I promise not to make a mess inside your mind.”

“Good because it’s already clustered in there as it is. At least this joke got a bit of laughter from her. When she settled down she came closer to me and closed her eyes to concentrate on her magic. I noticed her horn spark a little before her horn lit up in the magenta glow of her magic. As her horn glowed she moved closer until she touched my forehead with her horn.

From there the experience was…awesome…the best I can describe of it was like being on a roller coaster…made of books. It lasted for awhile before my vision came back to the library that we were in. This was about the time When I the door blew open and a medium sized Rainbow blur sped into the room.

“TWILIGHT!!! We got your letters; Fluttershy even got Zecora. How the big…guy…?” the look on Rainbow’s face went from one of panic and worry to confusion as she stared at me…well me and Twilight…well Twilight and I sitting close together on a couch with her eyes closed and horn to my forehead.

She stood there silent just staring as the other four entered along with a zebra. Twilight came out of her mind reading state as they all finished entering and seemed surprised to find her friends staring at her puzzlingly. Thank goodness the Rainbow Dash is so good at breaking the ice of awkwardness.

“What were you guys doing?”

“Oh girls I didn’t hear you come in…well we were just…ah..umm.” Twilight fumbled around for an answer and was blushing pretty hard which made her look very guilty for what she actually did.

“Oh Twilight I didn’t think you would be so un-ladylike as move so forward that fast.”

“FORWARD!?!? No it’s not like that I was just…” I thought it would be best to cut her off here.

“She was just using magic Celestia taught her to read some books from my memories and knowledge.” I hoped that my better explanation would defuse the situation.

“Oh ok” was the answer I got in unison from the whole group; apparently just say something bout Celestia and magic and everything is just normal for Twilight.

“Heh I thought you guys might be doing some egghead stuff.” Rainbow badgered me for a bit before I heard a new and unfamiliar voice.

“My my look at this dearie; by looking him over I have many a query.” I looked over to see Zecora the town’s resident shaman zebra looking at me in surprise.

“I know I’m just so cool looking right?” I joked hoping to get on her good side a little. “By the way guys nothing is wrong with me; I just got a small cold from being soaked in the rain yesterday. Besides being a little stuffed up and a slight fever I’ll be fine and back to normal by tomorrow.”

Everyone looked at me and seemed to calm down knowing that I wasn’t on my deathbed…couch.

“But Twilight said that there might be something terribly wrong with you?” Applejack seemed to be the last one that needed defusing.

“Yeah but doesn’t Twilight overreact like…a lot?” I asked her.

“…point taken”

I was interrupted by someone poking me in the side I turned to see Zecora who had something for me.

“If it is troubling to breathe; then I have something you may need.” She held out a small container on her hoof. Accepted the mysterious little jar and opened the lid and when I caught a small smell of the contents I was very surprised.

“Wow Zecora you sure do know your stuff.

“What’s in the jar Dan?” Twilight who was still sitting in my lap asked “And why does it smell so weird?”

“This Twilight is a gel made from crushed eucalyptus.” Since I was still getting a confused look form more than one pony I decided to elaborate. “Eucalyptus has a weird smell because of the oil the leaves secrete can be used as an antiseptic and help with such problems as congestion like people with colds get in both the sinuses and lungs.” I demonstrated by taking some and rubbing it on my chest. The cooling sensation felt great not to mention it help in letting me breathe.

I was about to say more when the door burst open once again. Everyone turned their heads to see who was there; and it was only after we looked down a little that we saw the three new guests.

“There he is girls!”

“See I told ya’ll that he would be here.”

“Well he is staying with Twilight so it’s probably the only place he would be.”

I paused and waited for a minute as the three little fillies came in with their little saddlebags; I was surprised that I was able to take all of this cuteness over the past three days; I don’t think anything could spoil this moment.


I was about to say something before I heard a voice from outside “Girls I heard shouting did you find oh…” Cheerilee walked her way to the entrance of the library to find me and the CMC who were currently using me as some kind of jungle gym.

“Girls I don’t think you should be climbing him like that…”

“It’s totally fine Cheerilee they weigh like nothing compared to me and it kinda tickles.”

“Oh I didn’t realize that you knew who I was Mr. Dan.”

“Just Dan; saying “Mr.” sounds to formal for me. Anyway I guess since you are looking for the girls who were looking for me; that you need me for something?”

“Oh yes well…I and probably the rest of the class would like it if you would join us at the school tomorrow so we could thank you for What you did in Canterlot two days ago. And I also think that the children do have some questions for you.”

“Well that sounds fine with me…as long somepony thinks I’m contracting a plague or something.” I looked over at Twilight who was starting to pick up on my sarcasm more.

“Alright I get I might have overreacted to you getting a small cold.”


“Yes might.”

I was about to make another retort when I remembered something about a couple of ponies.

“Cheerilee would it bee okay if we had some other ponies there as well when the kids ask me questions?”

“I don’t think it would be a problem…Why?”

“Well because this would be a great opportunity to let Crystal Clear get her exclusive report on me and I’m pretty sure Lyra would also like some information for her anthropologic findings.

“Oh well that will be fine Dan. If you come to the school just after noon then we can do it after the children have lunch and recess.”

“Sounds fine with me Cheerilee. See you tomorrow.”

“Alright then; I hope you feel better.” She wished me well and waved goodbye as she walked out the door. Looking at the clock I noticed that it was sometime in the afternoon; I guess Twilight looking into my mind to read books took longer than I thought.

“Alright everypony now that you know that I’m fine and not falling victim to a horrible disease I think we can all disperse; I have some things I have to take care of for tomorrow…plus I need to eat.”

And with that everyone took their turns saying goodbye and leaving for home. I got a triple hug from the crusaders which I honestly think made my cold go away on the spot; and it turns out that Fluttershy had me some soup before she got here; and I was never one to turn down good food.

“Oh Pinkie..” I called out to her right before she bounced out the door. She stopped in mid air turned around and looked me in the eye before she spoke back.

“Tomorrow?” she asked.

“Tomorrow.” I confirmed with a nod of my head.

She lit up into an even bigger smile and made an noise of pure happiness that was indescribable before zooming away at Rainbow Dash speeds.

And then it was just Twilight, Spike, and I alone again in the library, and even though I had been sitting on a couch all day I still felt exhausted. While Spike and Twilight made and ate their own dinner I consumed the soup Fluttershy made me. It was a delicious vegetable soup with broth thick enough to be considered like a stew. While eating I remembered a question that I had for Twilight.

“So did you like them Twilight?” she stared at me confused about what I was asking her about. “The books.”

“Oh! Yes they were fantastic it was a great story there were so many moments that were either happy, sad, or funny…although the ending was kinda…” she struggled to find the right word for it until I interjected.

“Yeah I know everyone thought like that for a little when they read it.” While she pondered my words I looked to Spike.

“Hey Spike do you think you can send a couple of messages for me?”

“Sure no problem Dan; who are they going to?”

“Well Crystal Clear who works as a reporter for Equestria Daily; and Lyra. I need to tell them about the thing at the school tomorrow.

“Sure no problem dude.” He said as he wrote out a couple of notes and lit them in his dragon fire breath.

I spent the rest of the evening into the night walking around and perusing the vast quantity and quality of books in the library; as well as talking with Twilight about what she got out of my head. We seemed to talk for hours before we noticed that it was dark and that we should get some sleep for tomorrow.

Tomorrow was going to be a big day; I was going to have to explain to children exactly what I am in very simple terms. And hopefully I would be able to do that with out freaking anyone out….myself included.

Chapter 8: And that fillies and colts...

View Online

Chapter 8: And that Fillies and Colts…

I was sleeping very peacefully until I felt a hoof nudging my side gently. I wasn’t sure how long I had been sleeping’ but one thing I did know; there wasn’t much light outside yet.

“Dan today is the day you have your talk at Cheerilee’s class; rise and shine.” I opened one eye and looked at her; she was fully awake and full of energy at whatever she ran on.

“Mmm…wha time it?” I couldn’t form a coherent sentence at this point in the morning; luckily since raising Spike Twilight had been able to master the dialect of “not early risers”.

“Well it’s about six in the morning at the moment I thought it would be a good time to get up so we can do a little prepare work before you go to the school…”

“No.” I stated plainly from my position on the bed.

“Ok good so let….what do you mean no?” she managed to catch herself.

“Today…I’m not getting up before ten so please come back later…if you have any important news leave a message after the beep…” I said struggling not to yawn as I rolled over and tried to back to sleep.

“Beep?...what bee…”

“BBEEEEPP!!!” I said loudly to interrupt Twilight in hopes that she might get annoyed and leave; leaving me to fall into sweet slumber for a couple of hours more.

“Uggh sometimes I wonder why I try…” she said as she started to leave the room.

“Cause you’re a cute and caring mare” I said still in my position facing away from her

“Wha? What is that suppo…”

“But you could be even cuter and more caring if you let people sleep in.”

“Ugh fine I get it you big meanie.” She huffed as she left the room.

After she was gone I finally heard Spike’s voice from his bed.

“Dude that was awesome….do you think you can teach me to do that?”

“No prob Spike but lets get some more shut eye first.”

“I’m with you on that brother.”

And with that Spike and I got four more hours of sleep that someone usually does in living with Twilight Sparkle. I woke up normally around ten to see the sun shining bright through the balcony windows. I got up and stretched like normal as I made my way towards the main room. I was about to start down the stairs when I walked into a magenta force field…face first. Thankfully it wasn’t like a brick wall but more squishy.

“Not so fast there Mr.

“Mmmfts up Twiliff?” I said with my face still squished against her bubble. She sighed and released the field which made a satisfying popping noise.

“Ummm I don’t know how to put this delicately so I’m just going to come right out with it….you smell…”

“Oh is that all?” I had completely forgotten that it had been over a day since I had taken anything resembling a shower or a bath

“How do you take things like this so nonchalantly?”

“Years of experience Twilight. Year of experience.”

“Well anyway I think it would be in your best interest if you went to the school not smelling…bad…The shower is upstairs opposite from the bedroom.”

“Got it.” I said as I turned around and hopped back upstairs. The bathroom wasn’t exactly people sized but it wasn’t so small as to hinder me. And I have to say Twilight despite not looking the type had a variety of shampoos and other shower things. Maybe she took lessons from Rarity…. Either way I picked showered quickly, dried myself off, and put on a new set of clothes for the day.

Finally after doing all that I walked downstairs and was greeted by a delightful scent of dough and syrup. I walked into the kitchen and Saw Twilight and Spike sitting at the table enjoying in decent sized piles of pancakes. As I sat Twilight asked me a question.

“Feeling better after a shower Dan?”

“Oh yeah; sometimes hot water just feels great and helps wake you up.” I said before I dug into my breakfast with fervor.

“Hungry much Dan? Your acting like it will try to escape.” Twilight joked at me. Truth be told after yesterday I felt full of energy but really hungry. Maybe my stomach was adjusting to the food and how good it was; so it craved more of it.

“Hey when the cooking is good just eat it.”

“I guess that’s one of you less wise sayings.” Dang she was on a roll today for getting me with jokes.

“Probably…oh by the way the lavender shampoo is pretty nice.” I wasn’t totally sure why I was complementing her shampoo but it seemed like the nice thing to do.

“You…you used my shampoo?!?!”

“Well yeah. I mean I didn’t exactly bring mine. And I also found it funny that a lavender furred mare uses a lavender scented shampoo.

On an embarrassed scale of one to ten Twilight was at about a seven at the moment. I guess she didn’t expect me to use her shampoo…glad I didn’t use her toothbrush.

“ohwellit’snothingIjustthoughtitwentwellandohwouldyoulookatthetimeweshouldheadoutfortheschoolnow.” She said in one continuous sentence as she tried to hide the blush on her face.

After setting the dishes in the sink we headed out towards the schoolyard. Along the way we met up with the rest of the girls who greeted me in their own way. Applejack tipped her hat to him just like he had seen in western movies. Fluttershy just nodded meekly and fell into line. Rainbow gave me a fly by and blew my hair slightly out of place. Rarity gave me a sort of courtesy. And just like normal Pinkie came out of nowhere.

As we walked I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off. It didn’t feel like we were in danger but more like something was… missing. This feeling persisted for a second or two before a noise brought me out of my thoughts.

“DDDDDAAAAAANNNNN!!!!!” I heard somepony shout from behind me; and from how the volume got louder they were coming towards me. I turned around and all I could see was green…mint green to be precise.

“Hi Lyra.” was the words I did say but with a pony wrapped around your face it ends up sounding like “fi Fra.” Either way it was interesting for all parties involved.

“Uh Lyra what exactly are you doing?” Twilight decided to break the awkwardness.

“Oh well I thought I would surprise Dan; and since he has gotten somewhat used to Pinkie Pie; I thought maybe I could try it.” I heard her say clearly even though she was wrapped around my face…kinda comfy if I do say so myself.

“Well dear don’t you think that would be something to clear with him first?” I made out Rarity’s voice asking a question. And it made me think about whether it bothered me. So far none of these ponies had weighed much; and by that I mean the mares and kids so far didn’t seem to weigh much. The stallions on the other hand…lets just say I wasn’t going to be trying to bench press Shining Armor or Big Mac any time soon.

“Well if you want my opinion…” I started to say but remembered that with somepony attached to your face your words don’t come out clearly. I fumbled around with my hands for a bit trying to find a place to grab Lyra so I could remove her. After a couple of seconds I found the back of her neck and for the second time that that week I held her like flailing cat in the air.

“Well if you want my opinion I honestly don’t mind; you girls don’t weigh much so it’s not like it’s really a burden. Now lets get going; if we are late Twilight might have a fit.” And with that I took Lyra set her on top of my head like a hat and continued walking down the path; not looking at the six mares following me.

“Wow the view up here is pretty nice. Do you see like this all the time?”

“Except when I look down so I don’t step on any thing…or in this world any ponies.”

“Heh I guess that would make sense.”

That was the last bit of conversation I had before I reached the school yard and saw all the little colts and fillies playing on the playground. As I walked closer Cheerilee walked out to greet me.

“Oh Dan you’re here right on time. I haven’t told the kids that you would be here yet; I thought it would be a great surprise.” She had on her normal cheery smile and attitude. “Oh and some reporter named Crystal Clear is here; she said something about a expose on you?”

“Oh yeah…Back before I saved you guys in Canterlot I promised her that she could have the first total report on me. She was brave enough to come forward out of a crowd of reporters and look me straight in the eyes and ask me a question.”

“Oh that’s nice. What was the question?”

I laughed as the memory replayed over in my mind before I spoke “What are you?”

Both of us laughed as we walked to the school. I don’t know if Cheerilee noticed Lyra or not or simply chose to ignore the fact that I was wearing a pony like a hat. We walked inside the school and I noticed that a certain mare was waiting for him.

“Hi Crystal” I said to the light blue colored mare.

“Oh Dan you’re finally here. Although I have to ask why we are doing this at a school?” she wasn’t as nervous as the first time we had met; but it still showed a bit.

“Well Cheerilee said the kids also have some questions for me; and kids ask the best questions. So between you and them asking me questions I figured that you could get some nice information and Lyra up here…” I pointed to the mare upon my head who smiled down at Crystal. “Can add to her anthropologic findings.”

Crystal seemed to get my point but had one problem with something I said.

“What’s anthropologic mean?” I was going to explain but Lyra hopped of my head onto the floor and began speaking with great enthusiasm.

“It relates to the scientific study of Anthropology; which is the study of humans.”

“Is that a real thing?” Crystal seemed surprised.

“As real as this big guy next to me!” she poked my leg with her hoof to get her point across.

I didn’t mind the poking my mind was focused on the rest of our group that walked through the door and also looking around the room at all the little school things.

Crystal and Lyra seemed like they were going to break into a bigger conversation but thankfully Cheerilee interrupted them.

“Oh I’m going to be bringing the kids in soon maybe everyone should find a comfy place.” She said as she trotted to the door and headed out. Once she got outside a wicked idea popped into my head.

“Oh guys I got a funny idea for a small prank.”

“What is it Dan?” Rainbow seemed delighted at the idea.

“Oh you’ll see…” I said as I moved to the corner and started to climb up the beams on the inside of the school.

“Dan what are you doing.” Twilight asked; I could tell she might be a little angry.

“Shh Twilight I can’t let them know outside I’m doing something. Don’t let Cheerilee know where I am when they get in…and if you’re wondering why I’m doing this…well what’s the best way to get on the good side of kids?” I asked now hanging in the rafters above Cheerilee’s desk.

I got a bunch of answers from some of the girl but none of them were exactly on the mark.

“Ok hold on.” I said deadpanned “What I should have said was; Pinkie what’s the best way to get on the good side of kids?” Everyone turned to the pink mare that had a smile on that told everyone that she already knew the answer.

“Oh that’s and easy peasy one…its laughter silly.”

This really didn’t answer Twilight question as a whole yet but fortunately for me Cheerilee started to open the door.

“Okay now shh and remember don’t tell her.” I quickly said to all the ponies in the room.

From my vantage point I saw everyone scramble to find a place really quick as Cheerilee lead the kids inside. She looked around the classroom; and I could see a confused and worried face since she couldn’t seem to find me into the room. As the kids went back to their seats Cheerilee moved over to Twilight.

“Where’s Dan in know he was in here a moment ago.”

Before Twilight could say anything Dash moved in and maintained a cover for me.

“He said he was setting something up for the kids and that he will be here when you introduce him; so that should be the first thing you do.

“Oh…well ok then.” Cheerilee calmed down a bit and walked back to her desk underneath where I was waiting.

“Alright children settle down we have something very important that going to happen this afternoon. Now all of you remember the human creature “Dan” that helped us out in Canterlot; right?”

I heard a good amount of cheering coming from most of the kids in the classroom.

“Well since you kids have had so many questions I thought it would be a great surprise to have him come here and surprise you.” She said this as she made the way from the back of her desk towards the first row of desks.

As she did that I slowly positioned my self and lowered myself down hanging from a beam by the back of my legs until my torso hung in midair above Cheerilee’s desk. I saw eyes of many students widen and knew that they were about to make some kind of noise. I quickly brought a finger to my mouth in attempt to stop them hoping that they would get my gesture.

“And I saw him come in the school but I’m not exactly sure where he is now.” Some of the kids snickered at the comment knowing that they knew something that their teacher did not.

I slowly reached out and tapped Cheerilee on her back. She jumped from the touch and seemed scared at the possibility at something sneaking up behind her. She slowly turned around and came face to face with me upside-down; whereupon I simply said.


“It was watching Fluttershy getting scared by a leaf falling on her back. Cheerilee gave out a slight scream and toppled over all four hooves straight in the air; and I swore I heard a goat somewhere off in the distance. As I watched Cheerilee for a second or two I looked up and saw the kids laughing as well as some of the other ponies in the room. Twilight and Rarity were giving me some admonishing glares while Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Lyra were on the floor laughing along with most of the class. I looked at Crystal who was laughing as much because she was trying to maintain here journalistic integrity; which it was easy to see was failing as she held her note to her mouth to muffle her laughter. Fluttershy on the other hand I guess was also scared and did the same thing as Cheerilee; Twilight and Rarity were slowly helping her back to her hooves.

“Are you ok Cheerilee?” I asked helping the teacher back to her hooves. She gave me a glare that just screamed revenge but was quickly replaced by her happy and cheery face as she saw that the children loved our antics and were still laughing quite a bit.

“Oh yes it was just a bit of a scare” she said laughing a little herself to calm her nerves.

“I noticed.” I looked up and saw the children staring at me; some with smiles on their faces and others with a bit of shock. “Well hi guys and gals; isn’t this a nice surprise?” I was met with cheers coming from them; it warmed my heart.

“Now I heard that you little colts and fillies have some questions for me?” I paused as another wave of cheers was heard “OK then; now lets set some ground rules. I let everyone in the classroom ask at ;east one of their questions ok…oh and by the way tell me your name when I pick you so I can remember.”

“Ummm how about…you.” I pointed to a little filly with white fur and red man who had a nice size pair of glasses on.

“Oh well my name is Twist” she said; I knew that she had a lisp but I had a friend who had one way back when I had learned to just hear past it. “Well I wanted to ask… Well what are you?”

I laughed thinking back to my “fun” in Canterlot; where Crystal had asked me the same except this time Twist didn’t seem scared as Crystal had been.

“Well that’s not the first time I’ve been asked that. Well from where I come from I’m called a human; we have two arms, hands, legs, and feet.” I wiggled everything around for emphasis.

“Umm how about you” I pointed to a kinda pudgy dark purplish grey colt.

“Uh hi I’m Chowder; and my question is; what are those things on your feet?”

In all honesty I had never thought one thing about my sneakers since I got to Equestria. It was just something my mind programmed over time.

“These are my shoes…” I was about to continue when someone called out.

“Like Horseshoes!?!!” Cheerilee was about to say something to whoever called out but I waved her off before I continued.

“Exactly like horseshoes; except instead of just protecting the bottom the also protect the top of my foot too.”

I looked around and saw Crystal writing something down; Lyra was also doing the same thing; and the rest of the group seemed to be just taking my knowledge in.

“Alright whose next…let me see…how about…”

“I have a question!!!” a sort of snobby voice. I looked down and to my right to see a pony I already knew too well.

“Alright then miss; and you are?” I said know all too well that this might take a bad turn.

“My name is Diamond Tiara” she sounded just like she wanted to be a stuck up noble or socialite.

“Alright nice to meet you; and your question is?”

“I heard somewhere that you were called an Omnivore; and that means that you eat meat right?” I could have seen that coming twelve miles away but it still hit me like a basketball to the face. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Twilight and some of the girls give me a nervous look.

Thinking for a second I smiled calmly and gave a small laugh before I answered Diamond Tiara.

“Well yes but that also means…” my answer was cut short.

“Does that mean that you eat ponies?” Diamond Tiara came straight out of the gate with that question. This wasn’t meant to learn anything about me she was trying to maneuver her way into being the center on attention. She wanted me to stutter here and then she would go on a mini rant and lie about how I said that I eat ponies. Thankfully it was easy to see through the brat’s game.

I walked a bit closer to her crouched down and put on a slightly goofy face before beginning my attack.

“I don’t know do ponies taste good?” I caught her completely off guard; she looked at me wide eyed and stuttered for awhile. I stood back up and looked around the class.

“Well guys Diamond Tiara doesn’t know if ponies taste good or not so I guess you little kiddies are safe for the moment.” This got laughter out of the class again. It’s always a good thing to make kids laugh.

“Okay next question….you.” I saw the little unicorn filly that had been brave enough to step up to me in the fire. “And what’s your name?”

“Well I’m Dinky and what I want to ask is…. Do you like muffins?” Seeing whose daughter she could possibly I thought she might ask that.

“I absolutely love them; my favorite is blueberry.” As I finished she nodded and began scribbling furiously in a notebook she had.

“Hmm Pipsqueak you’ve waited long enough what’s your question” I looked at the white and brown colt who was shocked that I knew his name.

“You know my name?”

“I’ve met your sister already…” he nodded and then looked sad for a second. “And no that’s not your question; ask away.”

“Alright then good sir. Who would win in a fight a pirate or a ninja?” Besides his accent which was awesome for a kid his age I had to stop myself from falling on the floor laughing. IT was a question I had debated with my friends many times.

“Honestly Pip; it’s a tie; they both beat each other.” He was pensive for a second as he mulled over my words before nodding in silent agreement with me.

After his question I looked around and noticed a trio or more appropriately six hooves in the air all close together. I laughed as I could instantly tell who those hooves belonged to.

“Since all three of you probably have the same question I will ask you as a group…Cutie Mark Crusaders what is your question?”

I looked to the three energetic fillies as they quickly huddled and talked amongst themselves for a second before Sweetie Belle was chosen as the speaker.

“Do humans have Cutie Marks?” and there was the million dollar question of the day. And by that I mean pretty much all the attention was now focused on me. All the kids, Cheerilee, Lyra, Crystal, Twilight, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Fluttershy were all staring at me with curiosity at how I was going to answer this. Pinkie was the only one who wasn’t staring and that was because she was doing her own thing at the moment.

“Well I will probably have to give a large talk on this later but since I only have so much time I’ll give you the short answer. No humans do not have cutie marks.” Gasps came from many ponies around the room and it seemed like the kids wanted to know more.

“How about I’ll talk to Cheerilee later and I will find time to come back and tell you about it on another day…ok kids?”

“Yes Mr. Dan.” They all said in unison.

“You can just call me Dan kids it’s okay.” I said while laughing a bit at their cute childish antics. It’s one thing for someone like Fluttershy or Twilight to do something cute but when you have a room full of pony kids do it; it feels like your soul may leave you body…once again; curse pony cuteness.

“Yes Dan.” And that was the second time I almost died in Equestria.

After that I kept answering question for as long as their were hooves up. I kept checking on how Crystal and Lyra were doing; the seemed enthralled by what they were learning about me; heck even Twilight was taking notes on some of the thing I said. I answered everything about what my favorite food was to if I have ever had a stuffed animal.

After sometime Cheerilee finally interrupted me and pointed to the clock.

“Well kids it looks like we are out of time and class is almost up.” Some groans were heard from around the class. “Now kids I know that you were enjoying Dan and asking him questions but we can schedule him to come back at a later date. Now you should pack up and head outside kids and enjoy the rest of your day.”

Slowly but surely the kids got up put things in their saddlebags; and made their way outside. Many of them waved goodbye to me as they left. Diamond Tiara and her friend Silver Spoon didn’t though. As the last kids left everyone else gathered round to give me a congratulations of sorts.

“Well Dan I think the kids really liked that.” Cheerilee was really enthusiastic about how things proceeded. “I’m sorry about what happened with Diamond Tiara thought; that filly can sometimes be a…”

“Pain in the flank?” I finished for her.


“It’s okay Cheerilee I get what you mean.” After finishing that I walked over to Crystal and Lyra. “So did you to have fun collecting information about me?”

Lyra gave me a huge grin and started talking first. “Oh you bet I did there were so many thing I didn’t know about humans before this…It’s ground breaking knowledge!!!”

“Crystal was the next to answer “I had a great time Dan; all the questions you answered help to paint a better picture of you and this is going to be one fantastic story!!!”

“Heh that’s why I hand picked you Crystal; I thought you would be perfect for this.” My little compliment cause a blush to appear on Crystal’s face before she seemed confused.

“Don’t you mean hoof picked?”

“Nope.” I said raising my hand and flexing it for emphasis. Lyra, Crystal, and I shared at laugh before I made my way to Twilight and the gang.

“So girls on a scale of one to ten; how did I do?” Twilight was going to answer first but I cut her off quickly. “And no decimal points Twilight.”

“Wha but how did you…?”

“Let’s just say intuition.” I chuckled while the mare gave me a slight glare

Everyone gave me great reviews on how I did; they all thought that it was a success and continued to tell me so as we walked out the door. Upon exiting I was met with cheers. I looked up to see the kids along with most of their parents and siblings waiting for me out side. I stood their in shock as Cheerilee came up from behind me.

“Oh did I forget to mention that afterwards that some of the parents and siblings of the kids wanted to personally thank you?”

“Very sneaky Cheerilee…I got to give you credit for surprising me here; good job.”

“Your welcome Dan now go say hi.” She nudged me forward towards the group.

I took a step forwards toward the group and the cheering quieted down a bit; I think they expected me to say something. To bad I didn’t really have a speech planned. I guess it was just time to wing it.

“Uhhh.. Hi everybody. I can honestly say I wasn’t expecting this. Well I guess I have to say thanks for giving me a nice welcome and all and I look forward to living here with you ponies for awhile.”

My short speech generated more cheering from the group of ponies. As they were cheering I saw Dinky pulling a familiar pony towards me.

“Mr. Dan! Mr. Dan! I wanted you to meet my mom!!!” she said as she came to a stop in front of me still pulling a grey Pegasus with golden eyes that were slightly off kilter.

“Dinky I told you can just call me Dan; no need for the “Mr.”. It’s nice to meet you Ms.?” I didn’t know what her name would exactly be cause on the show they had changed it on and off again.

“Ditzy; Ditzy Derpy Doo the local mailmare.” She chirped happily “And I just want to say thank you for what you did back in Canterlot.” She said as she wrapped her forelegs around my neck and gave me a hug. It was one of the best hugs I have ever gotten.

“It’s no problem Ditzy; I would probably do it again if I had to…although next time without the roof falling on me.” I said with a bit of sarcasm making Ditzy and Dinky laugh.

Ditzy backed out of the hug and then began to rummage around in the saddle bags that she had on. After a minute of searching she apparently found what she was looking for and pulled it out to present to me. I took me a moment to register that she was handing me a muffin.

“Dinky told me that blueberry was your favorite” she said as I took the muffin from her and bit into it; it was a fantastic muffin. Now before I could say anything else Pinkie who was busy doing…Pinkie Stuff then addressed the crowd.

“EXCUSE ME EVERYPONY!!!!” she got the crowds attention. “Since everyone seems to want to talk to Dan I think this would be a good time to announce that today is also the day we are having his “welcome to Ponyville and thanks for your heroics” party back at Sugarcube Corner. And I am pretty sure that Dan will be able to talk to you all better over there; right Dan?”

“It sounds like a good plan Pinkie; how about we all head over there to have some fun?” my response got a roar from the crowd as everypony made their way to the shop.

It was a great party; like all of Pinkie’s parties. I met with more of the parents and siblings that had been at the school. I talked with Filthy Rich Thunderlane, and Vinyl who all seemed to say the same thing to me. Also during the party the CMC was trying to find a way to look under my clothes to see if I was telling the truth about humans not having Cutie Marks. All in all it was great.

Afterwards after several hours on nonstop fun everything slowed down and people started to go home. Me and Twilight were among the last to leave. We said our goodbyes to Rarity, Applejack, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash; and I thanked Pinkie for the absolutely fantastic party.

While walking Twilight decided to ask me a question.

“Why did you respond like that to Diamond Tiara’s question?” I hadn’t thought the she thought much about it but apparently I keep underestimating Twilight a little bit.

“Well I knew she wasn’t asking to learn anything but more to put attention on herself; also making me look bad in the process. It was like a move in a game of chess; sometimes if your playing a really good opponent who know the conventional strategies; then the best thin you can do is something unconventional.”

“Oh I guess that’s a good point…Do you think it was the right idea?”

“It was slightly better than calling her a bit of brat in the first place.” I said as we reached the library door. I opened the door for Twilight and allowed her to walk in first. “After you madam.” I honestly didn’t think it was the easy to get a girl to blush; I guess girls back where I was from were just different.

As I went inside a though popped into my head. Even though I have been here a couple of days I still had no clue what the Equestrian calendar looked like. I figured now would be the best time to ask.

“Hey Twilight I just thought of something…do you have a calendar I can look at?”

“Um sure; what do you need a calendar for?” I could tell the question confused her; in then right setting it probably would have confused me too.

“Well since I am probably going to be here for awhile don’t you think I should now about the months, seasons, holidays, and other things like that.”

“Oh I guess that is a good points” she said trotting over to her desk and looking through some of the drawers before she found what she was looking for.

“Ok here’s a basic calendar that has all the holidays marked on it” she levitated it across the room and into my hands.

“Thanks Twilight.”

“No problem Dan if you need anything else just ask.” She said as I began to look over how exactly the months were spread out. Weirdly enough the months were pretty much the same as they were back on my world. We were in the early fall right now right around October and form what I could there was a holiday that I knew form the show coming up.

“Hey it looks like Nightmare Night is only about a week away!” I called to Twilight across the room.

“Hmm? Oh yes it is Spike and I already have our costumes picked out….Wait what about you Dan? I don’t think we have costumes in your size.”

“Hmm that is a pickle…” I thought for awhile until an idea popped up in my head. “I think I know what to do Twilight; do you think I can send a letter?”

“Sure; but how is that going to help?” She had no clue what I was thinking.

“Oh let’s just say it will be a surprise.” I fought hard to not put a mischievous grin on.

“…Ok but don’t do anything too crazy; Dan.”

“Cross my heart and hope to fly; stick a cupcake in me eye.” I said as I moved my arms to the motions.

Twilight gave me a serious look; “Are you sure that’s a good idea making a Pinkie Promise; Dan?”

“It’s okay Twilight I know the consequences…” I shuddered thinking back to Pinkie’s… “outburst” during that one time. “Plus I also remember that...” I said clearing my throat in my best attempt to give an impersonation. “Losing a friends trust is the fastest way to losing a friend.” I dialed up the pitch in my voice to sound a bit girly. Twilight glared at me and was about to say something before suddenly Pinkie showed up outside one of the library windows and shouted.


“Thanks Pinkie!!” I waved at the mare through the window.

“No Problem Danny Wany.” Apparently I now have a second nickname in Equestria.

I turned to see Twilight’s face half stuck in the glare she had given me and half in shock from Pinkie’s appearance.

“Were you quoting me?” she asked.

“No I was quoting another lavender colored super magical powered mare.” I joked back.

We laughed for a bit before I finally got my hands on a quill and some parchment and set to writing a specific message.


All three princesses and the captain of the royal guard were again all seated around the same table; but this time wasn’t for pleasantry; this was time for them to work on some government problems. In the midst of their work Celestia whose head was looking down at paperwork heard the telltale sound of a scroll appearing by dragon fire. It fell and bounced in the middle of the table.

“Ah I believe we have a letter from Twilight; should we take a break everypony.” Gasps of relief were heard from the rest of the table as everypony backed away to stretch a bit.

“Oh my mistake it appears that this is from Dan again.” Shining Armor instantly perked up at this; after the last letter he had been ready to throttle Dan with his hooves but his wife had managed to calm him down.

“Dear princess Celestia…” the ruler began. “This letter actually isn’t for you I’m actually writing this to Luna could you please do me a favor and pass it along?” he tone went from royal to somewhat confused and disappointed. Her sister on the other hand had heard those words and immediately started laughing.

“oh this human sure is amazing; I love his humor.” She managed to say in between breaths.

Celestia who seemed a little upset now passed the letter down the table. As it floated on down the writing passed by Shining eye level where he could of sworn he saw his sister’s name. With godlike speed he snatched the letter out of the magic aura.

“Sorry your highness I thought I saw something about Twilight in there.” He apologized; Celestia took this normally; after the last letter she was sure that Dan’s life in Equestria might have been cut short by an assault by her guard Captain.

Shining’s eyes scanned the top half of the page quickly and sure enough he found what he was looking for.

“AHA!! Here it is.” He said as he began to read out loud. “And about Twilight…” he started to read but then his eye went down the letter just a little before the letter suddenly fell from his hooves and he simply face planted into the table in front of him. Both of the sisters were surprised by his actions and looked to his wife to help with an explanation.

Cadence levitated the letter in front of her and read what Shining had just read before giggling a bit and then talking.

“And about Twilight…No shining nothing happened with Twilight so stop reading and give the letter to Princess Luna.”

The three Alicorns burst into laughter that could be heard from the castle gates. It continued for a couple of minutes before Cadence gave the letter to her other aunt and then started to try to bring her husband back normal.

Luna skipped past the parts of the letter she already knew and began reading Dan’s message to her. As she read a grin slowly spread across her face. It kept getting bigger as she read the plan that Dan was conveying to her in the best terms he could.

“Oh my; Dan sure is a smart human for what it is worth; this is a great idea for such a day.”

Chapter 9: Colts and Fillies of every age; wouldn’t you like to see something strange?

View Online

Chapter 9: Colts and Fillies of every age; wouldn’t you like to see something strange?

It seemed strange to some that a week could pass by in Ponyville without something completely ludicrous happening and the odds that it would happen were so astronomically high that only the richest ponies in Canterlot dare make a bet; it was said the Fancy Pants won an exorbitant amount of money that week.

And now after that week had taken place it was now time for a holiday; and for a certain Alicorn goddess it was the best holiday ever or as she put it “BEST HOLIDAY EVER!!!!!!”

Twas nightmare night in Ponyville and all of the town’s inhabitants were dressed up in various costumes ranging from silly to scary. Children ran around screaming in terror and laughing as they were scared by some and given candy by others. It was easy to see why this town loved this holiday it gave a nice sense of community.

As for where I was during this; well for now I was hidden. There was a plan I had laid out and I couldn’t spring it early. I have to bide my patience for now but my time will come…I wonder how Twilight is doing; she hasn’t seen me since last night so my guess is that she is probably panicking heavily.


“Rarity are you sure this is necessary?” Twilight asked her alabaster friend

“Why yes darling this is how your costume goes I am simply following instructions.” She said as she carefully maneuvered needles, thread, and all sorts of sewing equipment around in her bluish magic aura.

“What do you mean instructions?” Twilight asked curious of how her friend worded that last sentence.

“Ah ah ah Twilight any more questions and we might run late. And we wouldn’t want to run late tonight or we might miss Princess Luna. And who knows; if you’re late she might tell Princess Celestia that you were tardy.” Rarity put on a coy smirk as she talked.

“Alright Rarity I get it no more questions; no need to say things like that…” Twilight said in a quietly; she knew her friend was joking but some part of her was still a studious student that never liked being tardy.

“Trust me Twilight you are going to look just gorgeous in this costume. You’ll probably have a few stallions looking your way…maybe even a certain human.”

“Wha!…What is that supposed to mean!?!?” Twilight asked blushingly. She wondered why that comment had set her off so much; it wasn’t like she had never read about romance before.

“Only what you want it to Twilight dear, I can’t possibly claim to know what goes on inside your mind.” Rarity joked before going back to her work. Twilight was about top say something else but was interrupted as the door to her bedroom was knocked open and a disgruntled Pegasus poked her head in.

“Jeez Rarity; Nightmare Night is going to be over by the time you’re done, can you pick up the pace a bit?” Rainbow was never known for her patience; and her unicorn friend took the time to remind her.

“Rainbow Dash!!! Twilight has a brilliant costume that’s has many small details. Details that take time and precision; I’m sorry that all costumes can’t be like yours!!!” she said barely turning her head to the door while she finished up Twilight’s costume.

“And what is that supposed to mean? This costume is awesome!!! I saw a picture of it on Dan’s tele thingy and I knew that it was so cool and awesome that I had to have it!!! Plus it sort reminded me of me.” Dash proclaimed strutting into the doorway to show of her costume.

It looked like something Pinkie would wear on a day like to day. Dash’s head and forelegs were visible while her midsection except for her wings was covered in what looked like a square pastry with frosting on one side.

“Wow Dash that has to be the weirdest costume I have ever seen you wear to Nightmare Night” Twilight commented from the view she had. “Usually your costumes are Wonderbolts themed.”

“Yeah well this year I figured I should do something different; and Dan gave me the perfect inspiration!!!”

“Ah there finished Twilight; feel free to see how amazing you look now my dear.” Rarity said as she moved Twilight towards the mirror in her bedroom.

“Oh rarity I’m sure that I look…oh wow.” Twilight finally caught a glimpse of herself and was surprised at what Rarity had just pulled off. She was wearing a dress but it wasn’t something you would normally see Rarity make. Honestly it didn’t look good at all. It was made from random pieces of fabric of all different shapes and colors. But the patchwork dress was only part one of the costume; part two was what was on Twilight herself. She had makeup on that made her look paler but what really caught her eye was that on several places over her body were things that looked like stitches. All of them together made her look like she was sown together.

“Rarity this is incredible I look like a doll sown together or something!!!”

“Oh I’d just knew you would like it; I have to say doing the stitching parts with out actually stitching you together was difficult but I believed I pulled it off pretty nicely if I do say so myself.”

“Wow Twilight that does look pretty good on you…You trying to get all the stallions lookin huh?” Rainbow said as the three girls walked out of the bedroom back to the main area of the library.

“Rainbow!!! Seriously first Rarity and now you; why is everybody saying that?” Twilight’s blush was more apparent with her paler fur.

Before they could say anything the sound of an acoustic guitar reached their ears. They all looked to the far side of the room to see Applejack in her costume playing a guitar.

“Well is sure took you girls darn long enough I was afraid Nightmare Night was gonna be over. Oh and don’t worry Twi; if them stallions start ganging up on yah trying to get your attention I beat’em off of yaw.” She said hefting up a pretty large wrench that was also part of her costume.

“Why does everyone keep on saying that…oh and thank you for the offer Applejack.”

“It’s no problem Twi; I solve practical problems. By the way Rarity what is your costume supposed to be?”

Rarity had on what seemed to be a sort of latex cat suit with the legs cut off and around her legs were a type of stocking with a design of a bat in them. Also on her back were a pair of fake bat wings and there was a mini version around her head to match.

“Well Applejack if you’re so curious; like Rainbow Dash I also got some inspiration from Dan’s…what is his device called again Twilight?”

“It’s called a telephone.”

“Yes his telephone, anyway I this drawing of a human female that he told me was from this one game back where he was and her image and the attitude it presented sort of resonated with me. So naturally I thought it would be perfect for Nightmare Night.”

“Hey girls speaking of Dan has anyone seen him today?” Twilight asked her friends who in turn gave expressions of deep thought.

“Honestly I can’t say I have Twilight; this whole week he has been a bit…mysterious.”

“Yeah I flown all over town multiple times this week and I have barely caught a glimpse of him.”

“And I would know if he was hiding in the orchard; which he isn’t.”

“I thought he wanted to do something tonight…I wonder where he could…” Twilight was interrupted by a knock at the door.

“I wonder who that could be?” Twilight said with a smile as she opened the door and was buffeted by screams of kids.

“NIGHMARE NIGHT!!! WHAT A FRIGHT!!! GIVE US SOMETHING SWEET TO BITE!!!” the kids belted out. This group of kids however unlike some of the past ones was made up of easy recognizable; even in their costumes.

“Hi Crusaders, Pipsqueak, and Dinky how’s your Nightmare Night going?” she said to the costumed kids as she levitated candy into their bags.

It’s goin awesome Twilight!!!” Applebloom spoke up for the whole group. “Dan’s costume ideas for all of us were fantastic!!!”

Applebloom along with Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo were wearing this sort of white shirts with black pants but over them they all wore capes colored blue and white with a symbol from Prance that looked sort of like and arrow; also all three costumes cam with large hat with feathers in them and three fake rapiers; one for each girl.

“Yeah and these ninja costumes worked out really swell for Dinky and I!!! Right Dinky?” Pipsqueak said from beneath the mask that covered his face.

“Yeah they are totally cool!!!” Dinky said.

True to words both Dinky and Pipsqueak were dressed as ninjas; although their costumes were different colors and some aspects were different. Pipsqueak’s costume was this yellow kind of vest armor which continued up into a hood where a yellow mask covered his mouth. He had two swords which crossed over his back; and on his right front foreleg was an arm guard an on the bottom of it was a toy spear head on a chain.

Dinky’s costume was quite the opposite. Her costume was smoother and was a shade of blue including the mask. She didn’t have any weapons but instead she learned some magic from Twilight about making ice and used it as Dan had instructed her.

“The group of fillies and colt looked to the group inside the library and saw the others there with Twilight.

“What do you kids think of our costumes?” Twilight asked the group.

“Rainbow Dash your costume is awesome as always” Scootaloo piped up from the group to throw her idol a compliment.

“Heh thanks Scoots I knew someone would recognize the coolness of this suit.” Rainbow gave a smirk to her friends who were laughing a bit.

Twilight stopped laughing and looked back to the group to notice that Pipsqueak was staring at her intensely.”

“Is something wrong with my costume Pipsqueak?” she said to break him out of his trance.

“Oh ah no Ms. Twilight it’s just that you look really nice in that costume…” if Twilight could see through his mask she would be able to see his blush. After Pip had said this; the rest of the group joined in.

“Yeah Twilight you look just like a doll or something with the weird stitches on yaw.”

“It’s not as awesome as Rainbow Dash but it kinda cool in its own way.”

“Oh it gorgeous in its own way.”

“Ms. Twilight it does look very pretty on you.”

“Oh thank you girls; I guess like your costumes mine also had a little inspiration from Dan.” Twilight said turning back inside to look at Rarity who looked away sheepishly. “Speaking of which kids have any of you seen Dan today because none of us have.” She said turning back to the kids who all shook their heads no in unison.

“No Ms Twilight not one of us has gotten a measly glimpse of him all day…do you think something is wrong?”

“No not really I think Pinkie Pie’s pinkie sense would probably tell us and as usual she’s…”

“RIGHT ON TIME!!!” Pinkie said pulling one of her normal appear out of nowhere. She had her costume on and there was a lot of green covering her bright pink fur. It was sort of like Twilight’s dress except all the patchwork on it made it seem like the outfit was crazy and discombobulated. And atop her head was a pretty big green top hat the widened a bit at the top.

“Wow pinkie that’s a nice costume; did Dan help you out too?”

“Yeah he called it the….oh wait I can’t tell; that would ruin the surprise for them!!!”

“Pinkie who is th…..never mind” Twilight started to ask but then remembered that it was never a good thing to try to get a straight answer out of Pinkie. “Anyway Pinkie how do you know that your on time?”

“Oh that easy Twilight; I have a watch!!!” Pinkie said pulling out a nice sized pocket watch out of one of her many pockets. It was interesting to look at mainly because I had a large crack going through it.

“Uh Pinkie you do know that your watch is broken right?” Twilight said with a sheepish smile.

“Oh of course Twilight; but look closer it broken when the time is six thirty; which means that when I arrive for me it’s always six thirty; SO I CAN NEVER BE LATE!!!”

Everyone stared at Pinkie for a bit before they all burst into laughter.

“Alright now kiddies how about we go get us some more candy?” the kids cheered at Pinkie suggestion; it was a well known fact with the kids of Ponyville and Pinkie that there is never such a thing as too much candy.

“Well then….CHANGE HOUSES!!!” she shouted and all the kids scrambled in different directions towards the next candy giving domicile.

“Well girls I guess that’s our queue to head out; I know Spike is out there too; so how about we go have some fun.” She said as her group walked out the door of the library and into the spooky decorated town.

The girls walked around passing by people they knew and talking about costumes. They saw Lyra and Bon Bon who were dressed as plumbers in different colored clothing; Lyra in red and Bon Bon in green. The Cakes were dressed as chess pieces; Cup and Carrot were the king and queen while their twins were pawns. They also passed Vinyl and Octavia who were also in duo costumes; they were in dark suit which mirrored each other. Octavia’s hair was slicked back a bit more than usual; as for Vinyl she was wearing a small black afro with matching facial hair covering her mouth.

It was a bit of walking and talking before they reached the town square where the festivities were. After searching they found the dragon they were looking for.

“Spike there you are!!!” Twilight said to the dragon. He was wearing an orange martial arts outfit and a black wig on in which the hair was weirdly pointy.

“Oh hey Twilight nice costume...”

“Oh thank you Spike; nice to know someone truly likes it without..”

“You trying to get a date now or later?” Twilight shut up for a sec to let the stress go about everyone saying something about her costume and stallions.

“Anyway…” she said with a hint of anger in her voice “Me and the girls were wondering if you have seen Dan; it seems like no one has today.”

“That’s because no one has; I’ve been asking around and no one has seen a six foot two human anywhere today.” Spike’s words started to set of Twilight’s worrying.

“Oh that’s not good; maybe he’s lost, or hurt, or both!!! I should send a letter to the princess.”

“Princess Luna” Spike said.

“Maybe one to her to so we can increase the number of people to look for him and…”

“No Twilight I mean look its Princess Luna.” Spike said grabbing her head and turning it towards the sky to see a chariot pulled by two night guards and carrying the princess of the night.

Cheers were heard from the ponies in the town square as Luna’s chariot landed. Twilight and her three friends rushed over to greet her as she stepped off.

“Princess Luna it so good to see you I didn’t know if you were going to come this year.”

“Well Twilight Sparkle; I was so happy with what happened last year I thought that I would make this an annual event for me.”

“Oh well then we hope that we can make your visit even better than last year.”

“Oh no doubt I think since I’ve already acclimated to what happened at least the first half will be better.” The princess chuckled at her words; remembering how her first Nightmare Night in Ponyville almost ended in disaster and the abolishment of the holiday itself.

“Princess Luna!!!” the princess heard the voice of a small child get louder. She looked out and saw a small yellow ninja run ahead of a group moving towards.

“Pipsqueak?” she laughed “Is that you beneath that mask?”

“Sure is Princes; glad to see you again. Do you like my costume?” he said as the princess gave him a quick nuzzle and then looked him over as well as the other kids he was with.

“Yes I have to say that your costume does look very nice as do the rest of your friends. Also Twilight you and your friends costume look fine; how did you all come up with these ideas?”

“Well princess to tell the truth I think that all of us had a little help from Dan giving us some inspiration.”

“Ah yes Dan; how has he been doing recently; is he getting used to pony life?”

“I believe so; although no one has seen him today and it’s kind of worrying me a bit; I was going to start looking for him.” She started to freak out a bit; but a hoof on her back calmed her down.

“Do not worry Twilight; Tis Nightmare Night and many are looking for a good scare. Perhaps he is simply hiding in a great spot looking to scare unknowing fillies and mares.

“I guess that could be the….wait why didn’t you say stallions?” Something poked at Twilight’s curiosity.

“Well for one I didn’t think he would swing that way so I thought he would scare the fillies for fun and the mares for…you know…”

“Princess just what are you imply…” Twilight felt the blush on her face before she was interrupted.

“Attention citizens of Ponyville!!!” the mayor’s voice rang out over the loud speaker.

“We shall talk more later Twilight Sparkle; but for now your mayor has something to say.”

“Hello everyone of Ponyville and welcome to our annual Nightmare Night festival!” the people cheered the mayors words as she spoke. “Just like last year we have the honor of hosting one of our gracious leaders; Princess Luna!!!” applause was thrown Luna’s way as she headed to the stage to say some words.

“Why hello everypony surely this is a lot better entrance than last year.” The princess said jokingly getting laughter from the crowd. “This year I think will be an even better celebration; so let the fun doubled!!!” she said before she started to walk off stage.

“Oh princess can you please wait a second the mayor asked before Princess Luna had stepped off the stage. He nodded and waited while the mayor went back to the microphone.

“Now besides the princess we also have another guest tonight; who is here for his first Nightmare Night; our resident human hero DAN!!!” cheers went on for awhile before everyone noticed that Dan wasn’t around.

“Um Twilight where is Dan?” the mayor asked from the stage.

“He’s not here at the moment but he may be soon?” Twilight answered trying to hide the fact that she didn’t know.

“Well while we wait for a bit I will continue. Anyway since Dan came we can say that it has seemed a bit better and tonight is no exception. During the week he came to me and told me about something they do back where he was from on a holiday that is basically the same as this. I’d like to point your attention to the scarecrow we have on stage.”

She pointed to a scarecrow that had been set up on stage. It was in the shape of a human and for the head there was a pumpkin jack-o-lantern with a menacing face carved into it.

“Dan told me that during times on the holiday people would light scarecrows like these on fire to pay homage to the old spirits that they believed in; so I thought that to welcome him to our town on this holiday we would observe one of his traditions.” The crowd applauded at the idea; Dan had done them a great service and turned out to be a really nice guy so far so it was the least they could do.

“Princess Luna; would you like to do us the honor?” the mayor asked the night princess.

“Oh it sounds like a wonderful idea.” Luna said taking a step forward. Her horn charged with magic for a second before a beam fired out and hit the effigy in the chest and it caught fire. The flames danced on its body as they spread and the townspeople looked at it in awe. And then something scary happened…it talked.

“Ah it’s been so long since someone set me ablaze.” It said as it then got off it pole and began walking around the stage. “Oh well this is a new sight; little colorful horses…and they look so easy to scare.” The pumpkin mouth was moving to the voice that was coming out of it. It looked at the different ponies before it; each one flinching a bit in fear.

“Excuse me but would you mind telling me who you are?” The fiery scarecrow turned and looked to see a slight bigger pony with a more regal look to it.

“Oh why hello I didn’t see you there. My name is Jack. And by the looks of it I can guess that you are some type of royalty?” he said giving a bow.

“Yes I am Princess Luna; may I ask what you are doing here?”

“Well you summoned me here princess; and my job which comes once a year is to scare.”

“Oh well I am sorry but I cannot allow you to harm any of my subjects.”

“Harm them!?!? Why would I do that; there no fun in harming someone when you scare them; it takes all the fun out of it. I mostly just tend to pop out of the shadows and such and give people a good fright; I am very good at my job.”

“Oh I see then there has been a bit of a misunderstanding I apologize. Do not fear ponies this creature only wishes to join us in our haunting merry making.” The crowd calmed down a bit at this revelation; they were thinking that they had some new type of monster to deal with.

“Oh but Jack isn’t it hard to scare people with you on fire?”

“Oh why yes your majesty this form is really one a one time scare deal which in this case seems to have worked. Now if I could just find a bit of water.” The creature looked around before seeing the big bobbing for apples tub. “Ah that will work nicely.” It said before it started moving towards then end of the stage while picking up speed. When it reached the end of the stage it jumped high into the air flipping twice before diving into the tub. Ponies looked in surprise as a different figure then rose from the tub.

This was not the same scarecrow though; instead of the rag it had on now it was wearing a large black formal suit; except instead of a regular bowtie there was a spider. And instead of a pumpkin for a head and sticks for limbs now underneath the clothing was a skeleton with bones of pure white. It eyes were large as a ponies and looked cavernous.

Upon arising from the tub it stretched before saying anything.

“Ah now that feels better to be back to my old bones.” It long legs carrying it out of the tub; stepping over many ponies and getting back to the stage in only a couple of steps. “Does this look more suitable for the events of tonight your highness?”

“Yes quite; you look like a very handsome skeleton jack; although I have to say I still think I will scare more ponies than you will.”

“Oh really?” the skeleton said his eye sockets changing in size to give off the impression that he was raising an eyebrow.

“Yes really” the princess answered.

“Oh really?”

“Yes really…snrk.” The princess laughed a little.

“Oh really?”

“Yes rea heh Hahahahahaha I’m sorry I can’t hold it anymore I tried.” Princess Luna started laughing and made all of Ponyville confused as to what they were witnessing.

“Uh Princess what exactly is going on here?” Twilight and her friends had made their way onto the stage and like everyone else; had no clue what was happening.

“Oh perhaps it’s time for me to explain or rather show you.” Jack said to the group of ponies on the stage. He then reached behind his head and put his hands at the base of his skull and then pulled. Instead of his head just popping off; there was a small flash of magic and the face became like a mask. And underneath was everyone favorite human.

“Dan!!! It was you under there!?!?!” Twilight was astounded; as were probably most of the other people around the stage.

“Yeah it was me all along. Hi everybody HAPPY NIGHTMARE NIGHT!!!” he shouted to everyone. Silence was the only thing he got in return.

“But how is this even possible I know your not that skinny…or a skeleton.” Rainbow Dash asked.

“I believe it would be better f I filled in those details Rainbow Dash.” The princess stepped up along side the human.

“Princess you’re in on this charade too?” Rarity was dumbfounded.

“Yes Rarity I am. See about a week ago Dan sent me specifically a letter; in that letter he told me about a plan he had for Nightmare Night that required my help. So over the past week I have been communicating with him and setting up the enchantments for his costume.”

“Wait so Dan here has been the scarecrow that has been here all day?” Applejack asked.

“Yup AJ I’ve been here all day waiting for the events to play out as they did” it felt weird to me that I hadn’t had to go to the bathroom all day; but hey when you get a good opportunity to scare go for it.

“And what exactly was the point of all that?” Twilight pinched the brow of her nose with her hoof.

“To have fun on Nightmare Night and scare some ponies; Twilight what else.” I said turning to the crowd. “Hello ponies of Ponyville!!! Did I do a good job?” I waited for a minute until I heard cheers, applause, and laughter come my way. “See Sally they like what I did.” I said looking at Twilight.

“Who’s Sally?” Twilight looked at me confused; I thought she knew where her costume was from.

“The costume you had on is based on a character named Sally from the same movie where my costume is from.”

“Oh I didn’t know; Rarity told me she got the idea from someone; I assumed it was you.” Now it was Dan’s turned to be confused; the only person who could have told Rarity anything was one of the princesses; and why exactly would they make her costume match with his. It was a mystery to be solved later cause at the moment he was being flanked by his friends and also many colts and fillies that were in awe of his costume.

“Alright then colts, fillies, stallions, mares, and of course you princess; how about we have some Nightmare Night fun?” hey got a resounding “Yeah!!!” from all sides.

The night went on and many fun things happened; Dan got to scare some ponies; have a ton of candy; do a little dancing; there was an awkward moment during the duo costume dance where he dance with Twilight in his arms holding her by her two front forelegs; laughs, cheer, and some “Aww”s were heard; and he wasn’t sure but Dan swore he heard camera’s going off too.

After all was said and done Dan along with five of the mane six sat at a table with Princess Luna talking as they took a rest.

“Oh everypony by the way I have an announcement from Tia and I. We wanted to give you these.” She said magicking something out of the air. Five golden tickets sprung out of the ether and landed in front of the each of the girls.

“Princess these are Grand Galloping Gala ticket…your letting us go again?” Twilight asked nervously; remembering the events that played out last time she and her friends went to the gala.

“Why yes Twilight; from my sister’s accounts the last gala was made more enjoyable by the antics of you and your friends; and this year we are making some more…suitable changes for everypony that isn’t a noble or high class socialite. We want all ponies to be able to enjoy themselves there not just the stuck up idiots and snobs.

“Hear hear!!!” me and Rarity both said in unison, me because I hated people…and ponies like that, and Rarity because of one certain prince who absolutely did not live up to any reputation.

“Oh but Princess what about Dan; doesn’t he get to go too?” Rarity asked the question I hadn’t though about yet.

“Why of course; I was saving him for last cause his invitation is special.”

“Special how Luna?” I was now curious; seeing as how I didn’t think I golden ticket could get any more special.

“Well we thought it would be better if you would also be able to bring friends; so your invitation allows for you to bring up to ten ponies with you. I suggest you chose wisely though…oh and before I forget Twilight there is one more invitation I have.”

She magicked up two golden sheets one made its way to me and the other went to Twilight who read it.

“This is for…Pipsqueak and his friends?”

“Yes; like I said we are making the Grand Galloping Gala more accessible to all ponies; there will be things to do for ponies of all ages.”

“Wow that’s very nice of you Princess I’ll go Pipsqueak right away.” Twilight said as she rose from the table and went of to find the children; her friends following after her.

“Twilight wait up!”

“Yes dear don’t run so fast you might ruin your costume!”

“Ah don’t worry Rarity it’ll be an easy fix.”

As soon as they were out of ear shot I asked the princess a question that had been on my mind since I saw Twilight tonight.

“Ok Luna so who’s idea was it to make Twilight’s costume and mine match tonight; I know that I can cross Shining of the list since he probably wants to kick my butt to Tartarus and back.”

“And you would be correct at that sir. But as for the first part of your question I’m afraid I have been sworn to secrecy.”

“Oh really?” I said giving here a hard stare; she didn’t even flinch at my attempt.

“Well fine I’ll leave you to your secrets.” I said with a chuckle as we sat at the table; I looked away and towards my gala invitation; playing with it in my hands. “The Grand Galloping Gala…and I get to bring friends…” I said looking over to Twilight and the group talking to the kids whose jaws had hit the floor with the news they had been given. I put my mask back on and gave the menacing grin which reflected on my skeleton face.

“Now this is going to be fun!!!”

A Series of Unfortunate, Humorous, Gourmet, and Fortuitous Events (definitely not in that order)

View Online

A Series of Unfortunate, Humorous, Gourmet, and Fortuitous Events (definitely not in that order)

A stage lit up with light to reveal a white wall. Not completely white mind you; there was an outline on it. It was the outline of the front of a pony; slightly bulgy in the front but otherwise fine. A shadow moves across the wall before it fills the outline perfectly and stops. It hangs there as if it’s a signal to notify someone or something. As quick as it had come the shadow left as a stallion walked forward onto the stage.

He was a slightly portly stallion with off white colored fur. His mane seemed to be thinning a bit at the top as it moved down the back of his head. His eyes were unmoving and looked deep; in the sense that the stallion could see many things in different aspects. His snout curved a little more than most stallions and his mouth never really waivered into a smile or a frown unless it suited him.

“Good Evening…” his voice was low and his punctuation was impeccable. “It has always been true the Equestria has had many bizarre events take place within it borders. The most notable place for these strange event; is the quaint little town of Ponyville. Now whether this could all just happenstance or it could have something to do with the town’s….colorful cast of residents. As of recently there has been a new addition to the town; and he is quite different from any of ponies that inhabit the village in the sense that he isn’t a pony at all.”

The area around the stallion brightened a bit and illuminated some objects that were previously unseen. A coil of rope, a mug, a shovel, a crutch, and a guitar sat upon slightly raised pedestals.

“It seems that the arrival of this “human” to Ponyville has set about more events in which the townsponies find themselves in predicaments that range from deadly dangerous to down right humorous.” He said with no emotion whatsoever. “Let’s just hope that the human known as “Dan” can come out of this; with not only his body intact; but his mind as well.”

“Cause Every Mare is Crazy Bout a Sharp Dressed Man.”

“Rarity?” I said standing outside the door to Carousel Boutique. She had asked me to be there at a specific time for…something; to be honest I couldn’t remember. So there I was around ten in the morning knocking on the door…and no one was answering.

I put my hands into the pocket of my hoodie to keep warm a bit; the early mornings here in Equestria were a little cold. I felt something in my pockets that I didn’t remember placing in there. I pulled whatever it was out to find a nicely folded piece of paper. I opened it up to find a message written with very nice writing that said “Gala dress”.

“Uh Rarity….RARITY!?!?!” I said a little louder this time knocking on the door. I hoped I read that wrong or at least put it into the wrong context.

“Coming!” I heard her tell tale sing song voice come from behind the door. The door opened to reveal the small white unicorn mare who may or may not want to put me into a dress.

“Oh Dan you’re here right on time dear; come in come in.” she smiled and showed me into her house.

I had to duck through the doorway as usual and followed her into the main work area. It was nice actually getting to see this for real; it was pretty spacious with plenty of mannequins and various bits of fabric strewn about some places; and others placed very neatly.

“Ok Rarity; why exactly do I have to be here so early again?” I said stifling a yawn.

“Well Dan I’ve been thinking and working over everyone’s gala dress and since you have a quite different build so I thought I should get a bit of a head start on yours.” I still couldn’t tell whether she was seriously thinking of putting me in a dress. So instead of beating around the bush I thought it might be better to get to the head of the problem.

“Um Rarity; you are talking about dresses for the girls and you but not for me right?” I hoped that would be the right answer.

“Why of course darling…Did you really think I didn’t know what to have you wear to the Gala? I was using the term dress to mean the attire that everypony would be wearing. Me, the girls, you, and whomever you are bringing along yourself.”

“Oh right…sorry; at this early in the morning I’m not really the sharpest tool in the shed.” I said sheepishly.

“Oh trust me Dan ever since that one morning where we took pictures of you...cuddling Twilight; it’s become quite clear to me.”

“And what is that supposed to mean? Would you have liked to take her place?” I had no clue whether it was a good idea to provoke Rarity to a battle of wits this early in the morning; but I wasn’t simply let her get all the last words in.

“Oh why no Dan I wouldn’t dream of it; although I think that you might have dreamt it…Do you think there might have been room for the two of us hmm?” Checkmate; game over; she had me then and there. The look on her face, and the words she spoke stopped me like a deer in headlights. There was no safe way to go now so the only option I had was…

“So about my attire for the Gala?” the smirk on her face told me that she knew that I let her win the battle cause there was no hope of me winning.

“Ah yes I think we should move forward with that. Well I do know that like most stallions would probably like to wear a suit of some kind. Normally this would only consist of the jacket for us ponies but you also require pants…”

“Is there a problem with that Rarity? You’ve made me pants before; heck I’m wearing pair right now.” and they were very comfy pants.

“Well those were different Darling; it’s not like they were ever going to be worn to something as socially sophisticated as the Grand Galloping Gala. Your outfit for that night has to be spectacular! Is have to make you suave and sophisticated; but also dashing and a bit dangerous so you don’t look too much like some of the nobility.”

“So I don’t look like a reminder of a certain white unicorn stallion?” I joked but then realized that those were the completely wrong words to say as Rarity turned to me with anger in her eyes. Not directed at me but to memories I brought up.

“Why of course!!! You’re nothing like that sniveling, good for nothing, selfish…” I was glad sweetie belle was at school because the words coming from Rarity’s mouth were not fit for foals. Meanwhile until she finished her little anger rampage I was busy hiding behind a mannequin that was too small to hide any part of me behind. She went of for a minute or two before she stopped and just stood in the middle of the room panting.

“Umm all better now?” I said still hiding behind. Rarity turned and with a bit of surprise before quickly fixing herself up.

“Now Dan let us never speak of this again…Now do you have any ideas for what you are going to wear?” she switched topics as fast as Pinkie Pie appears out of nowhere.

“Well…I do have one idea but it is kind of hard to explain; it’s stuck in my head and I can’t quite put it to words…”

“Oh I could use that mind reading spell that Twilight used?”

“When did she teach you that?”

“Oh we had some time to talk during you “Welcome to Ponyville” party; I thought it would be a bit more complicated; but apparently it is all based on your concentration and whether you can focus on what you want to bring up in your mind or get lost staring into the eyes of the mare in front of you.” She said coyly.

“And what’s that supposed to mean? Am I falling in love with somepony?”

“Your words not mine dear. Now let’s get to seeing what Idea is in that head of yours.” She said as her horn lit up. I cleared my head and thought of the person that my idea was going to come from. A few things popped through my mind, the suit, a car, a drink. And just like that Rarity stopped the magic and squealed with delight.

“Ooooh Dan that is a marvelous I mean the style, the attitude, the se…the appeal.” She switched her words at the last second and I couldn’t quite tell what she was going for.

“Think you can handle it Rarity it seems like quite the challenge?”

“Oh don’t you worry Dan I think when the gala comes around you and maybe some others will be pretty happy with my results.”


Ponyville Park was a very nice place during the day. The more adult ponies were quite in relaxing their own ways; sitting, napping either on the ground or on a cloud, couples doing things like paying little games together and what not. The kids ran around playing games and screaming at both tolerable and intolerable levels.

I sat on a bench talking to Lyra; we talked about things both our species did. She was sitting human style with her two back legs hanging over the edge of the bench.

“Doesn’t that hurt Lyra?”

“If it doesn’t hurt you then it doesn’t hurt me.” I think I saw a little twitch in her body.

“That’s because my spine has a natural curve to it... I don’t think it’s the same for ponies.

“And what is that supposed to mean huh?” her pout was ridiculously adorable.

“Here put your hoof right here…” I took her hoof and put it on my back near the bottom of my spine. “And feel it when I lean back.” I said leaning back farther into the bench.

“Oh wow that is cool I can actually feel where your spine bends…is it supposed to do that?”

“Of course Lyra; it allows humans their flexibility; also is makes us able to move cause our nervous system also runs through it.”

“Wow that’s fascinating!” she said magicking a notepad and quill out of her bags and jotting notes down. I was about to ask her about her research when a little voice reached my ears.

“DAN!!!!” I looked to see Applebloom followed by the rest of the Cutie Mark Crusaders who were followed by a giant portion of their class. They all came to a slightly bumpy stop inn front of the bench.

“Uh hey…everypony…what’s going on?” I didn’t think the whole class would visit me like this suddenly.

“Well...” Sweetie Belle started putting extra sweet into her voice. “For Crusading today we thought about trying hog tying but remembered that Applejack told us that we couldn’t use the pigs like that so for awhile we were stumped…” she looked at me with those adorable eyes and I could instantly see where that put me in this equation.

“So you thought that if you got my permission that you could try it on me?” the three of their heads bobbed up and down. “But then why is the rest of the class here?” that part still had me a bit confused.

“Well we were talking about it during class and some of the kids wanted to see you, other wanted to play with you cause they thought you looked cool, and there are some of us that still don’t have Cutie Marks…So we thought that we should all try together!!!”

I looked and every little filly and colt was carrying a coil of rope. I thought how the situation could badly and thought about saying no; until I saw a group of faces looking at me in inspiration. Saying no was completely impossible after that.

“Alright fine I’ll help…what are the ground rules?”

“Well we give you a head start and from then we chase you around and hog tie you. Oh and no climbing up trees or someplace we can’t reach.

“Alright that sounds fair to me how about you give me a ten second hear start?” I said getting up from the bench. I saw a couple kids nod their heads and I started jogging away from the group. I figured that I would run at a slow pace and they would catch me and try to tie me up.

From behind me I heard “Ten!!!” and looked behind me to see the kids. The sight I saw was comparable to what people who are being chased by bears see. I broke into full sprint now in fear of my own life.

At a restaurant halfway across Ponyville

“So Rarity how is your work going for all the outfits for the gala?” Twilight said while levitating a glass to her lips.

“Oh it’s fine darling; despite the large amount of work I’m actually ahead of my schedule.” She said enthusiastically as she partook of a light salad

“What do ya mean large amount? Besides the six of us and Dan what are you makin?” Applejack asked curiously.

“You forgot the ponies Dan invited Applejack dear; I am also making fantastic outfits for them.” She reminded her farmer friend

“Oh yeah I forgot he got that special invitation…who did he invite again?” Rainbow Dash said before Applejack could get a word in.

“OH I REMEMBER” Pinkie interrupted. “He’s taking Crystal Clear, Lyra, Bon Bon, Big Mac, Cheerilee, Thunderlane, Caramel, Derpy, Rose, and Doc Whooves. And he would have also invited Vinyl and Octavia but it turned out that they are already working the gala!!!” she said in one gigantic breath.

“Wow Rarity are you sure that you’ll be able to make that many outfits it seems like it’s difficult.” Fluttershy added into the conversation.

“Like I said girls it’s no problem I am ahead of sche…” Rarity started to say but stopped when the sound of a rumbling was heard in the distance.

Twilight was the first to notice something was totally fine. “What’s going on with this rumbling?” she said as she looked up the street only to see Dan come from around the corner of a building running and break neck speeds and with a look of terror on his face.

“Dan!!! What’s going on? Why are you running?” she shouted in his direction hoping he would hear.

“RUN FOR THE HILLS!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!” He screamed back while running. “IT’S A ZERG RUSH!!!” he kept running as fast as he could past the restaurant.

The girls had a look of panic on their face not know exactly what a “zerg rush” was until they looked back down the street and saw exactly what Dan was running from. They saw a group of fillies and colts running after him with determined looks on their faces.

Dan ran to the end of the street and then turned and went around the corner of the building out of the girls view; the group of kids vanished a few seconds later. And less than a few seconds after that they heard a scream.

“AAAAUUUUGGHH!!!!!!” after that the cheer of fillies and colts which got louder as they came back fro around the corner with a bundle wrapped in rope atop all of their backs.

Twilight couldn’t make out exactly what it was until the got closer. Then upon closer inspection she saw her human friend tied up with a large amount of rope. That wasn’t all that was tied up with him either though; there seemed to be the pieces of a broken scooter tied in with the bundle too.

“Dan what happened?” she said chuckling as she looked him over as the group of kids came to a stop before her and her friends who were all laughing to much to talk.

“Scootaloo hit me with a scooter…” and with that statement the sixth element of harmony was now on the floor laughing with her friends as Equestria’s only human was dragged away like a sacrifice.

“Life Uh Uh Finds a Way”

Deep in the Everfree Forest near the old ruins of the palace two young archaeologists were digging. Hoping to find…well anything really.

“Do you really think that we are going to find anything here?” A mare said to her partner; she liked her work but doing it in this forest was even a bit too much for her.

“We are pretty close to the ruins of the old palace; there has to be some kind of old artifacts here!” the mare’s stallion companion said with a bit more enthusiasm in his voice. “Something somepony forgot or maybe even something even the princesses forgot long ago!” he said working a shovel with his hooves.

“Yeah well…I just hope we don’t find any snakes; I hate snake; I hate them.” The mare answered; her eyes moving around to watch her surroundings.

“Don’t you worry well find something that’ll make history out here!” the stallion said as he dug his shovel into the earth once more; except this time the earth gave back the sound of a click as the shovel hit something. The ponies froze as the stared at the shovel; the mare was the first to speak.

“It might be a rock do that one more time to make sure.” The stallion nodded and grabbed the shovel and dug it back in the exact spot. Again they were rewarded with a clink and then some. A the ground shook for a bit before stopping the two ponies held each other in case something bad were to happen then; when the shaking stopped the were relieved; that was about the time they heard a primal roar come from beneath their feet and the ground begin to move upward. It didn’t take them long to get out of there and head towards the only town in the area

Ponyville around the same time

“So what is it your doing with my apple cider Dan?” Applejack looked curiously at the human who looked like he was setting up some kind of science experiment inside Sugarcube Corner.

“Just remembering an old treat from a place I used to go to. And it’s going to make your apple cider even more irresistible” I said preparing all the parts I would need…well I say parts but it was just apple cider and ice.

“Well Applejacks cider is already one of the best things around how exactly do you improve on that” Rainbow Dash the resident cider lover extraordinaire commented.

“Well first we crush this ice like so.” I crushed the ice to it was like slurry form of snow. “And then we add the cider till we have the right consistency.” I said pouring the cider into the ice slurry.

“Oh I see what he’s doing he mixing the two so they form a sort of mixture that has the consistency if ice with the cider’s taste!” Twilight said using her scientific view.

“Ah don’t know it seems kinda like you coulda just added ice cubes to the cider if you wanted it to be colder. Applejack didn’t fully seem to comprehend what I was doing.

“Well I think you’ll change you mind once you taste it the right way.” I said as I finished mixing it. I poured the mixture into some mugs for the girls and passed them out. I watched as they tentatively took a sip or two. “Oh and I almost forgot. Try it with these I gave them some simple sugar covered donuts.

Rainbow was the first to try and I guess she liked it because she ate it up like a velocirpator. I was about to ask the girls for comments; and it looked like they would be positive when everything shook and a roar that sounded like a room full of trumpets being blown reached our ears. We all looked around and raced outside with out a word. We looked towards the horizon to see something reaching above the tops.

“Now what in tarnation is that? Fluttershy do you have any idea about what kind of critter that is?”

“No I have no idea; I’m sorry but it’s just so….big.” I had to agree with her that the thing was massive compared to…well anything really.

“Twilight do you happen to have a telescope on handy?” I looked to the knowledgeable stargazer.

“No but…” she disappeared in a flash of magic and was back seconds later with a nice size telescope. “This should help!” she moved the telescope so we could so whatever was coming towards Ponyville. Once fixed she took a look through the telescope and then froze for a second. “That’s….impossible….it…it’s…” she trailed off not making much sense. It wasn’t until I looked that I understood her confusion.

“It’s a dinosaur?” once I saw it I could barely believe it my self. It had a large body; which was supported by four legs. Its other big feature was its long neck. Although it didn’t look completely organic; parts of it looked like they were made from stone, different metals, and gems. It was mostly white with black on it with some splashes of red and gold. I backed away form the telescope to let the others see; also to let my mind cool off before it overheated.

“My stars that thing is large; whatever are we going to do?” Rarity seemed worried and the dinosaur that seemed to be picking up a bit of speed and was going to reach town fairly soon. I thought about it and I had no idea as to what we should do; then I noticed something coming from above us.

“Well I don’t have a plan but I think they might.” I said pointing up and alerting the girls to the ponies who were about to join us. Both Princesses as well as Shining Armor and Cadence came down in chariots followed by a small contingent of the Royal Guard.

“Twilight Sparkle are you okay?” Celestia said as she got of her chariot and gave her student a quick hug.

“Well sort of Princess; I’m sort of confused as to WHY A DINSAUR IS MOVING TOWARDS PONYVILLE!?!?!?!” Twilight couldn’t really control the volume of her voice as her worries came out.

“Be calm Twilight; the creature you see before you is technically an ancient friend of ours from before Discord’s reign. We thought he was lost but it turns out he was just buried and was in a sort of hibernation for thousands of years.

“Ok well then why is he coming towards the town” Twilight hoped her teacher had an answer.

“That is what my sister and I are unsure of; we never really had a way to communicate with him; we can’t seem to recall his name either. Shining I suggest you prepare some shields to try and hold him back.” She told her captain.

“On it your majesty.” Shining said as his horn glowed and several shields were placed in the path of the dinosaur. We waited with bated breath as the dinosaur came to the first shield and didn’t even stop or flinch as it crushed the shield and kept moving forward. As others panicked I simply stood there and watched the creature. I listened to the sounds that were coming from it and it was after a little amount of time that I noticed one thing in particular.

“I GOT IT!!!” I shouted bring all the attention to me. “I know what he wants…I’ll be right back!!!” I said turning back into town and running. It took me a couple of minutes before I arrived at my destination.

“ROSE!!!” I shouted at the cream mare who seemed to be packing her stall in a hurry.

“Dan! What’s happening with the monster is it still coming?”

“Yes but I know what it wants. Do you have any ferns?”

“Ferns???” she didn’t know where I was going with that question.

“Yeah really big ones!!!”

“Um yeah sure but why exactly do you…”

“There’s no time to explain now we got to move, where do we go???” I said picking her up and holding her under my arm. She managed to squeak out the location and I ran there. We both grabbed the plants and made our way back to where Twilight, the girls, and the princesses were; but we weren’t stopping. The dinosaur was much closer now.

“Shining open a hole in the shields for me to go through!” I shouted and surprised him.

“Dan! What are you?”

“Don’t ask just do it!!!” he opened a hole and Rose and I ran through still carrying the plants with us.

It took us about a minute to get to just in front of the monster. Rose stopped and panted for a bit; she usually didn’t have to run that much in a day.

“Okay let’s hope this works Rose.” I didn’t see Rose’s face but I assume it was looking at me in disbelief. I grabbed on of the plants and held it over my head; took a deep breath and yelled.

“HEY BIG GUY DOWN HERE!!!” the dinosaur stopped moving; I looked out from under the plant and saw it looking at me and the possibly terrified pony next to me.

“Looking for something like this?” I waved the plant around for a bit. There was a silence hanging over us for a bit; the dinosaur didn’t move for awhile; it just stared at me, the tiny creature below it waving a plant in its face…foot.

Then it moved its neck and brought its head down to almost our level and opened its mouth. And then it at the leaves off the plant right out of my hands. I grabbed another one as he chewed and sighed in relief as my hunch had been correct.

I turned towards the confused ponies and rulers behind me and shouted “IT’S OKAY HE WAS JUST HUNGRY!!!” I saw plenty of ponies fall over in surprise; it took them a bit but they walked over and looked in awe at the sight of a dinosaur eating right in front of them.

“See; he’s not going to do anything dangerous; he just needed a meal. Isn’t that right big guy?” I said turning around only to come face to face with a dinosaur tongue. I got licked from topped to bottom and stood in shocked as everyone around laughed heartily. And then something even more surprising happened; he shrunk; and he kept shrinking till he was just under the size of the princesses. He then used his now less gigantic head and nuzzled me.

“Does this mean I can keep him?” I looked around to all the ponies who now had another look of disbelief on. “Fine then.” I said looking to my new pet dinosaur “I’m gonna call you….Titanus.”

“I Want To Write a Song About An Octopus”

Me and the rest of the group that was going to the gala were all gathered at the recording studio Vinyl and Octavia had set up in Ponyville. It was nice size and they had a bunch of instruments; guitars, drum, violins, trumpets, and DJ equipment. We had been there just messing around when a thought popped into my head.

“Hey Twilight I have a question for you.”

“What is it Dan?”

“When we were in my head and you saw all the info about the show; you remembered all the stuff about the songs right?”


“Well…Did all that actually happen?”

“Why of course it happened.”

“Do you guys always break out into song and dance like that?”

“Well actually Dan it is more like an innate magic that everyone has specially; It doesn’t make all of us do it but when the time feels right you are sort of drawn into it. Right girls?”

“Oh absolutely I remembered when I first made Gala dresses and I started singing myself. I didn’t know where the song came from but it sounded very nice.” Rarity added her expertise to the conversation.

“Oh yeah and the same happened to me and Fluttershy when I was going to pick a pet.” Dash also contributed.

“Hmm…” I thought. “Do you think it could happen to me?” I honestly wondered whether I could have a musical moment.

Vinyl was the one who answered my question. “Well Dan it depends on the song now doesn’t it… And it does help if your singing voice isn’t bad too. If you want; we got instruments here; give it a shot.”

All the ponies looked at me expectantly; I tried to think of something suitable to sing. And after a few moments the right song came to mind. I went over picked up a guitar and started.

“What would you do if I sang out of tune?...” and wouldn’t you know the rest of the song went great; everypony sang and danced along with me to a song they never heard before. Maybe it would happen again at the Gala?

Chapter 10: Is Dan going to have to choke a BlueBitch???

View Online

Chapter 11: Is Dan going to have to choke a Bluebitch???

In Canterlot the Grand Galloping Gala was in full swing again. Ponies of varying shapes, sizes, and age filled the grounds of the castle. Many different ponies could be seen conversing and generally having a good time. One could also see other ponies that were not; it seems the higher nobility had; as usual; not really liked the Princesses idea of trying to get all the different types of ponies across Equestria to attend the gala. They never really understood what the Princesses really wanted.

Ponies were still arriving in droves. Those that weren’t celebrities simply walked onto the castle grounds while the ponies that were walked down red carpeted stair in the castle which lead to the Princesses to give them their greeting for the night.

The Princesses stood on a small raised platform of steps inside their castle. Unlike many of the other ponies who were wearing clothing that night; Both Celestia and Luna chose to only wear their royal attire of their crowns, necklace, and shoes. From their perspective they could see where ponies exited their carriages and the walkway that led all the way to them; and there was a long line of ponies in line to give their respects.

“It seems like the number of nobles keeps getting bigger every year Tia.” Luna said in a bored low tone so no one but her sister could hear.

“I know it is not the grandest thing in the world but we must grin and bear it Luna. I can only hope that with “their” arrival that this night will become more enjoyable.”

“Excuse me your highnesses are you saying somepony is coming that will “get this party started” as they say?” Both rulers turned their head to see that their favorite pony among the nobles had finally come to the front of the line.

“Fancy Pants how nice to see you as always; although I don recall your talent being about eavesdropping.” Princess Celestia knew that Fancy Pants and his wife Fleur de Lis were one of the very few ponies who would talk to her normally.

Well believe me princess when I first thought about my talent I thought it would actually have something to do with pants considering my name.” he said curtly and paused with the other three mares for a second before all of them laughed heartily.

“Ah you are as clever as always Fancy; and Fleur it is so nice to see you it has been to long since one of our last shopping trips; I think the palace budget is balanced enough for us to have one again very soon.” Celestia saw the smile on Fleur’s face as she remembered the memories of the last trip they did so many stallion tripped over them selves as two of the most beautiful mares went all over Canterlot.

“Oh I’m sure that they won’t expect us next time either your majesty. But if I may princess; who were you speaking of just before we arrived?” The tall and svelte unicorn asked of the solar ruler.

“Oh well my sister and I are waiting for my student and her friends to arrive.”

“I bet some of the nobility will love to hear that.” Fancy Pants said remembering everything the bearers of the Elements of Harmony did the last time they attended the Grand Galloping Gala.

“Yes but this year more than just the six of them are coming from Ponyville along with a very special guest who you have probably been waiting to get a glimpse of and talk to Fancy.”

“Do you mean that you sent “him” an invitation your highness?” Fancy seemed surprised at the information he was hearing.

“Well I want him to…” Celestia started to say before the trumpets that announced nobles went off and the announcer came forth again; although this time he did look a little bit happier to be announcing somepony that usual.

“Introducing the Elements of Harmony.” He said aloud in a boisterous voice. Many ponies turned their heads and some nobles were seen gasping while others were seen quickly moving away farther into the gala.

The six mares made their way down the carpet towards the princesses and the two well known social ponies. Each one could tell that the six mares had been given new dresses made by the element of generosity herself; and that they looked absolutely fabulous. Celestia began talking as the six came to a stop in front of them.

“Twilight I’m glad to see you and your friends have arrived here.” She said as Twilight came closer and the two shared a nuzzle.

“It is so great to see you Princess; oh hi uncle Fancy Pants and Aunt Fleur.” Twilight greeted her mentor and relatives.

“Wait Twilight; are you saying that Fancy Pants is Vinyl’s father and your uncle?” Rarity asked; the fashionista was surprised; she had never though that her dear friend was related to a favorite client of hers.

“Yeah he is my father’s brother and my BUFF.” She said with a proud smile on her face.

“Best Uncle Friend Forever.” Fancy said walking up and pulling Twilight into a hug. “It has been too long my dear niece; and I must say Rarity that you continue to surprise me on how well you out do yourselves with your dresses.”

“Oh thank you Fancy I do have to say that I put so much effort not only into our six dresses but also for the clothes for the rest of our friends.”

“Other friends? Did more than the six of you comer here?”

Oh yes about nine other ponies came with us; they went straight into the gala to find tables and such while we came and presented ourselves to the princess.”

“Nine? But I thought that there was a special visitor coming with you?”

“Yes Twilight I am curious I believe that Dan was coming with you?” Princess Luna said as she walked up to the group of Twilight, Rarity, Fancy Pants, and Fleur; leaving her sister to talk with Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Applejack.

“Well princess he started to walk in with us and I guess something caught his eye because he stopped and then said something about making a grand entrance; so I can guess that we will see…” she stopped talking as the musicians started to play again but in a very different tune. The violins and trumpets went on for a bit before the announcer stepped up again.

“Ladies and Gentlestallions, it is my pleasure to introduce a special guest to tonight’s festivities. Equestria’s first human; his name is Allen; Dan Allen.” The announcer said as the trumpet started blaring and Dan walked out from around the corner and began walking down the stairs in time to the music.

I was glad I didn’t pass this opportunity down; with the suit and the music to top it off I think I did a great honor to that British spy. I looked around the room as I made my way down the stairs. I saw ponies looking at me in two different types of shock. The scared type of shock; probably because I was a giant bipedal creature, and the other was the amazed type; mostly because again I was a bipedal creature; but this time in a fantastic suit.

I decided to play my feelings closer to the character I was trying to emulate. My eyes seemed half closed; like I was scanning the room trying to look kind of cold yet still cool. I gave a small smile that said the same as my eyes. As I looked around I looked at some of the mares in the room and gave them a small appreciative nod with a gentle smile. I could see each blush and one of them even took out a fan to cool herself with.

I then looked to Twilight and the group she was with. Her jaw along with some others including the princesses. Next to them were two ponies I had actually wanted to see; Fancy Pants and Fleur de Lis. It took me a minute till I reached the group; I gave a small bow to the Celestia and Luna before I asked a simple question.

“So how was my entrance?” I could see mouths opening and closing from the girls trying to find the words to a suitable answer; even the princesses didn’t seem to have an answer for me.

“Oh my so this is the famous Dan I have heard so much about. I am truly glad that he has a sense of style and wit; wouldn’t you agree Fleur.” I turned to see Fancy chuckling while talking about me.

“Oh I agree with you; and he does look very handsome as well.”

“Fancy Pants it’s a pleasure to meet you; I have to say you are one of the ponies I have been looking forward to meeting; and the same to Fleur and might I add that you look spectacular tonight.”

“Oh why thank you Dan.” Fleur said accepting my compliment. “It good to know that the stranger who saved our son also is a nice…is “person” the correct term?”

I gave her a nod to show that she was correct before my mind decided to interrupt me. Did she say son? My mind went into a quick overdrive before I put some facts together.

“Wait so that means that you two.” I pointed to Fancy and Fleur. “Are Vinyl and Pipsqueak’s mom and dad…and also Twilight’s aunt and uncle?” I asked both of them. Nods from both of them confirmed what I thought.

“Wow that’s incredible I never would have guessed other wise.”

“Yes it would seem that all relatives of Twilight tend to be on the right side of my sister and me.” Celestia said moving into the group.

“Speaking of Twilight’s relatives I would be correct in guessing the Shining Armor is also in attendance here tonight?” I asked Celestia with the smallest hint of nervousness in my voice.

“Why do you want to know Dan?” Luna said coming up from behind her sister. “It wouldn’t have anything to do with anything you might have written to us?” it was easy to tell with her coy smile and sarcastic tone that she knew why I wanted to avoid Twilight’s brother.

“What does she mean by that Dan what exactly did you write in your letters?” Twilight Had sent the other five into the main room of the gala to find the rest of the group.

“Oh nothing Twilight just some friendly jokes, now how bout we get this party started?” I said as I started to push Twilight into Gala.

“Oh Dan could you wait a moment My sister and I would like to have a little talk with you.” Celestia stopped me and asked.

“Oh sure no problem. Fancy, Fleur I’m sure that I will see you again sometime tonight. And Twilight I do have to say that you do look very pretty in your dress.” I honestly did like her dress.

Instead of going with a color closer to her fur Rarity instead went with black. And it seemed to hug her form tightly enough to show off but loose enough to move in. and to complete it; on most of it were little tiny white stars that you had to stare at for awhile. I saw her blush as she walked away with her aunt and uncle in tow her were saying something about clouds and the number nine.

Honestly it had been about a month since I had been in Equestria and I thought that I was becoming very acclimated. Due to not having a lot of meat to eat except the occasional fish Fluttershy let me have I had been losing some weight and saw that start of muscle taking its place. I had also start thinking other ponies; In Ponyville most of them seemed to like me; sure saving a bunch of their kids had given me a huge plus but still even some ponies who I barely knew. And I even had a good group of friends.

And then there was Twilight…

Rarity was sitting at the table the group had chosen to sit at. She was the only one there while she waited for everyone to find something to eat or drink; she had volunteered to weight because she had to fix a bit of her makeup. While she sat there she thought about how different this gala was going. None of her friends had started a catastrophe yet and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. Sure this gala wasn’t as sophisticated as the last one had been; but maybe it was for the better. There seemed to be more fun abound and even though some of the more stuffy nobles had voiced their complaints, things kept moving in a better direction.

And hopefully this time around she would not met somepony who didn’t completely destroy her idea of how a noble should act.

“Oh my well if it isn’t the Element of Generosity, Ms. Rarity” Rarity heard a voice she knew well come up from behind her. She turned to see the one pony she had wished that she would never run into again; Prince Blueblood.

He looked about the same as he did last year except this time he was followed by a small group of mares who were trailing on his coat tails. Rarity looked at each of them; they were young and quite nice looking mares who had the look of love in their eyes just like she did at the last gala before the pony speaking to her crushed her dreams and expectations.

“Oh Prince Blueblood what a surprise to see you.” That was about the only thing she could say that was any part truth.

“Why yes I say it was quite a surprise that my aunt extended the six of you invitations after what happened at the last gala.” He said not even remotely caring about the mares feeling. Rarity winced just slightly but not enough that the prince and his little mare entourage noticed.

“But I’ve chosen to forget about most of last year and instead look towards the future…but there is one thing I would like to bring up.” Blueblood said.

“And what might that be?” Rarity was feeling a bit on edge; the prince wasn’t giving of much emotion and it was hard to figure out exactly what he was going to do.

“Well I do remember what exactly we did do at the last gala and after thinking it over I believe that an apology is in order.

Rarity was in a bit of shock; she thought Blueblood was going to be his own pompous self; but instead he was offering peace for what happened. After his words neither of them said anything for a couple of seconds. That was until Prince Blueblood gave a frown.

“Well…I’m waiting for my apology.” He said catching Rarity off guard.

“Excuse me?”

“Well I believe that you owe me an apology for your behavior.”

“Is that really how you see things?” Rarity didn’t bother to hide her sarcasm.

“Yes, I am a prince, and I must be treated as such; you despite your workings are still quite peasant like.”

“I have also helped save Equestria on more than one occasion; have you done that?”

“No but that’s why us nobles have ponies like you to do that kind of work for us.” Rarity couldn’t believe that Princess Celestia’s nephew would ever speak like this anywhere. And as he spoke he started advancing towards her a bit as did the group of mares behind him. “And I also believe Ms. Rarity that you think I was asking for an apology. Well I can tell you I am not; I’m demanding one. Or do we have a problem?”

“I don’t know Rarity do we have a problem?” a voice came from behind Prince Blueblood that made him jump slightly.

“Excuse me I am Prince Blueblood; and I am in the middle of some royal business so would you kindly.” the prince said as he turned around to come face to face with a black pole; or so he thought. He looked up to come face to face with the human creature he had read about in the newspapers.

“Hi Prince Blueblood, my name if you don’t know it by now is Dan; and I am with her.” He said pointing to Rarity who now had a slightly smug look on her face. He looked down on the prince with his cold blue eyes which slowly intimidated the prince.

“Oh so you make acquaintances with monsters now Ms. Rarity? And what exactly can I do for you Dan? Cry in terror?” he said before he started laughing and the group behind him followed suit.

“Actually I believe if you follow the news correctly its monster hero instead of just monster; saving a group of colts and fillies from a burning building tends to make people like you…and as for what you could do…how bout sod off.” I said catching the prince of guard. No one ever spoke to him like that.

“I’m sorry?” the prince said trying to be as intimidating as he could; it didn’t work to well seeing as I was about two and a half feet taller than him.

“Yes you should be. Now if you don’t mind me and my “acquaintance” here would like to have some fun at tonight’s gala and clearly there is none to be had with you.

The prince’s mouth hung open in shock at the way Dan was talking to him. He tried to think of something to say but every time he looked up to the creature he was more intimidated. Before anyone could say something a pony came up next to the group.

“Would anypony like something to drink?”

“Perfect…” Blueblood thought to himself quickly. “If I can’t out intimidate this monster, then I can definitely outclass him. That will show him who is superior in this situation.”

“Yes I will have the finest wine we have available here my good man; take it directly from my private stock; only the best for m guests.” The prince said to the waiter then shot a quick look at the human monster in front of him as the waiter pony came to a stop in front of him and looked up.

“And for you sir?”

I thought about it for a second before I decided that there was only one thing I could drink. “I’ll have a martini.”

“Very good sir…”

“Wait.” I said stopping him. “Three measure of gin, one measure of vodka, and half a measure of lillet. Shake it very well until it’s ice-cold, and throw in a large piece of lemon peel.”

“Excellent choice sir; it will be here right away.”

I looked to blue blood who seemed surprised at what I had just asked for; I had learned that ponies did indeed have alcohol but some chose not to mix it. Blueblood never said another word to me; he simply just walked off with his group of mares behind him who gave me both unsavory looks and looks of desire. It was when they were completely out of range that Rarity finally spoke again.

“Oh thank you Dan for coming when you did; I wasn’t quite sure how that would have ended.” She thanked me.

“I saw your moves during the wedding; I think you could have beaten him into the floor.”

“A lady never does that in public; she only does it around a corner where no one is looking…and by the way that is a very fancy drink you ordered; who gave you the idea?” she said as the waiter came back with my drink.

“Just a man who was very good at being sophisticated and suave.” I said before taking a sip. “Now let’s go we shouldn’t stand here all night; there’s fun to be had and much more my dear.”

“Or do you simply want to get another look at Twilight’s dress?” I heard how provocative Rarity’s voice was.

“Maybe.” I said simply looking down to the unicorn and giving her a simple smile.

“Oh you getting better at this game darling.” She stated as she began to walk ahead of me. It had not even been three minutes before we heard a voice that both of us recognized.

“Dan! Rarity!” we looked to the source of the voice to see Scootaloo moving towards us in a dress Rarity had also made for her.

“Hey Scootaloo I thought you would be hanging with the Crusaders and the other kids?” I was actually kind of puzzled why she wasn’t with the bunch.

“Oh I’m going to hang out with them plenty tonight but I wanted to hang out with my aunt for a bit to plus she wasn’t at the school to meet you so I thought that this would be the perfect time.” She said to us before turning around to wave someone over. “Dan this is my aunt.” She said pointing to the pony that had just joined us. My mind went blank for a second trying to remember her.

“So this is the famous Dan I’ve heard so much about huh?” the tomboyish voice came out just as I had thought. It was the right sort of voice I thought that Spitfire of the Wonderbolts would have.

Chapter 11: And The Beat Goes On

View Online

Chapter 11: And The Beat Goes On

Ok so first I was shocked to find out that Fancy Pants was Twilight’s uncle. It took me a bit to process things but I eventually got over it. But now I was given another piece of information that blew my perspective on things; Spitfire of the Wonderbolts was Scootaloo’s aunt. I’m not totally sure how my body manages to keep up with me let alone keep working at a fine pace.

Hey Scootaloo I thought you said that this guy was cool? All he’s doing is staring into space quietly…does he always do this?” the orange mare with the fire like hair looked at the human with a bit of annoyance; she had heard from her niece about this awesome new creature that had save her life; and now her she was staring at it while it stared blankly at her.

“Excuse me Ms. Spitfire.” Rarity stepped up to the pegasus to get her attention. “I’ve seen him make that face before tonight and it was when he learned of someone being related to my friend Twilight Sparkle. So I think this might just be his of showing shock and trying to put all the pieces together.”

“Oh is that so? Well I can relate to that; I had one of those moments when I was in your town when your Pegasi made the tornado for the rain water; oh and you can just call me Spitfire no need to be formal Rarity.”

“Oh you know my name?”

“Well I do remember you from that time at the Best Young Fliers competition…” Spitfire shot Rarity a sly smile at which she blushed remembering that time. “And also Rainbow talks a lot about her friends whenever we have had a chance to hang out…uh Scootaloo what are you doing.” Spitfire paused to ask her filly niece a question.

The filly in question had managed to somehow climb up Dan like some kind of Wanderer who climbed massive colossi to slay them for some quest. She managed to get to his arm which was positioned horizontally while he held his drink.

“I was gonna see if I could snap him out of his trance.” The filly said as she lifted an orange hoof in front of the human’s eyes. “Dan…are you in there…DAN!!!”

The shout was enough to bring him back to the land of the living. His arm kept in place while he blinked and shook his head to bring himself out of the fog.

“What; what’s going on?”

“Well I introduced me to my aunt Spitfire and then you went all bugged eyed and spaced out; so we’ve been waiting for you.” Dan looked at the filly on his arm as she gave him an explanation of the past three or four minutes.

“Ah ok then; sorry about that Spitfire just some things here are a bit different than I thought.” I said to her.

“You don’t need to give me an apology; not since I still owe you a thank you for saving scoots life here.”

“Ah it was nothing I’m sure somepony besides me would have done it.” I tried being modest.

“You doused yourself in water and then jumped through a window into a burning building…most ponies would have at least thought about that for a minute; not to mention the building crashed on top of you and you managed to shrug that off.” Spitfire was going to take no for an answer.

“Yeah I’m still not sure how that happened; it was kind of a blur when that all happened.” I said laughing a bit; it was true though; after the roof came down the next clear memory I had was waking up in the palace. “Hey but if you’re gonna be dumb you gotta be tough; if you get knocked down you gotta get back up.”

“Wow that’s a weird saying but I guess it works for heroes like you and acrobatic daredevils like me.” She agreed with what I said

“not only that it works for Rainbow Dash as well...” I said and then looked down to Scootaloo as memories popped into my head. “And for some fillies desperately trying to earn their Cutie Mark.” I got a blush out of Scootaloo because she knew I was right in how some of the activities that her, Applebloom, and Sweetie Belle did might seem a bit dangerous.

“Did someone say my awesome name?” the group of four turned to see their multicolored acquaintance making her way toward us.

“Rainbow Dash!!!” Scootaloo squealed as she basically jumped at her idol. “I was going to go and find you but I wanted to introduce aunt Spitfire to Dan first.” She pointed to the human and the smaller yellow orange pegasus.

“Oh hey Dan; How’s it going Spitfire?” she walked past me to Spitfire and held her hoof out; which Spitfire returned as they bumped hooves.

“Rainbow Dash you aren’t doing anything that would ruin your dress are you?” Rarity brought her friend’s attention to herself.

“No Rarity I’m being as behaved as I can; even though this Gala is a lot better than last year.”

“I’m with you on that Rainbow Dash; it’s better to hang with more normal ponies than all the stuffy nobles.” She said getting a laugh out of the group. “But as I recall we have to wait till the end to see if six mares do anything “special”.” She said obviously referencing the last gala.

Everyone fell into a bit of a silence after that; I thought that I should try to start up some new conversation.

“So Scootaloo you got a Wonderbolt for an aunt and the fastest pegasus in Equestria who can do a Sonic Rainboom for an idol; I bet your going to be an even better flyer than them when they stop gloating and help you.” I thought I would try to make Scootaloo happy and maybe get a blush out of the two pegasus mares.

“….oh yeah sure…” Scootaloo said weakly; it wasn’t the response I expected from her. I looked down and saw that she wasn’t smiling anymore. I looked up and saw somewhat saddened faces on all the mares’ faces in front of me.

“Something I don’t know?” it may have sounded like a question; but I knew that I was missing something.

“Well…” spitfire began. “I took Scoots to the doctor two weeks ago and he gave us some kind of bad news.”

“It turns out that the kid might have a wing condition where when she grows into her full wings that flying would make it painful for her and maybe not even possible.” Rainbow finished.

The three mares looked downtrodden and Scootaloo seemed even sadder; I wasn’t going to let this mood take hold though.

“Oh is that all?” I knew those weren’t the exact right words to start off with but I had to say something. I got wide eyed stares from everyone and also saw a flash of anger in Spitfire’s eyes. I sighed and picked up Scootaloo as I found a seat.

“Scootaloo…and present company; let me tell you a story.” I said as I out Scootaloo on my lap. “There once was a boy that when his mother took him to the doctors one time; and the doctor told her that there was a problem with her son’s legs and because of that it would also affect his back. So they put braces on his legs which made him walk funny and also made him not able to run. But he lived with it for as long as he had to; and during that time he made a friend named Jenny. One day a couple of bullies started throwing rocks at him; now he wasn’t a really smart guy…kinda of like how Snails can be. But since Jenny was with him she told him to run and so that’s what he did. Now he ran funny in those braces of his and the bullies had bikes with them so they could easily catch him.”

“So did they catch him and beat him up for being different?” she asked me with those big eyes of hers. I looked up quickly and saw that Spitfire, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity were also quite drawn into the story I was telling.

“No they didn’t, it turned out that some kind of miracle happened that day. While he was attempting to run his braces started to brake. And sure enough after awhile they broke fully off and the boy started to run; and he was really fast; he outran those boys on the bikes without even thinking about it. And from then on wherever he went he ran there; even when he was fully grown. Heck he grew up to be as tall as I am. And also at one point he ran from one end of the country I live in to the other end multiple times.”

I could see from the look on her face that Scootaloo really liked what I was telling her.

“So my point Scootaloo is that never think that you can’t do anything; you got to move forward with everything you got. I’ve heard a story once about a soldier during a war that had his shins blown off. The doctors told him that he might never walk again; so you know what he did?”

“What?” I heard not come from Scootaloo but from Rainbow Dash.

“Well first he wasn’t exactly a nice guy so he punched to doctor in the face; then while he still had time had his feet attached to his knees. He walked out of a hospital about two weeks later.”

“The looks I got from the four girls was astonishing. I wasn’t sure if they actually believed me or not.

“And another thing Scootaloo; back on my world there have been tons of people who have had disabilities who have gone on to do great things; heck some of the best musicians that have ever heard have been blind and deaf.” I looked down to see the filly giving me a smile; I thought that this moment might turn out ok before another voice interrupted.

“HA!!! As if any kind of beastly monster like you could create art or music!!!” I looked up to find that Prince Blueblood had come back; and he was slightly drunk. Not drunk off his ass to the point where he didn’t make sense; but more just drunk enough to make horrible insults.

“Honestly I don’t see why you would lie to a child like that; as if something as useless and ugly as you could add to any kind of culture.” getting angry. “I mean a deaf musician; who has ever heard of that? Honestly I bet I sounded like a bunch of cockatrices fighting over food!!!” officially pissed off. “As for anyone who could say that they could make music or art while being blind, deaf, or human for that matter…well I say their work wouldn’t be fit enough to even wipe my ass with!!!” ok now hulk smash.

“I didn’t say anything as I slowly picked Scootaloo up and set her back on the ground. I stood up slowly thinking exactly of what I could do. Unfortunately was not the answer since Blueblood drunk rant had drawn a bit of a crowd. I thought that maybe it should do the same thing as when I had ordered my drink.

“I finished what was left of my drink before I said “Rarity you wouldn’t happen to have a white glove on you; would you?” I kept my eyes on Blueblood while speaking.

“Oh why yes I do. She had actually been wearing them. “What do you need it for exactly?” she asked as she levitated the glove into my hand.

I grabbed the opening of the glove so that the rest was hanging out of my slightly clenched hand. I stepped forward towards Prince Blueblood; who flinched as I moved closer; drew my hand back a little and then brought the glove forward with what strength I could muster that wouldn’t hurt him. The smack could be heard in most of the Gala. Many ponies stopped what they were doing just so they could figure out what had transpired.

Meanwhile where I was standing I was now looking at a Prince who had a nice red mark across his face. Ponies gasped at what I had just done. I turned around and handed Rarity her glove before addressing Blueblood again.

“CHALLENEGE ACCEPTED!!!” I shouted much to the surprise of all the ponies around me. I looked around real quick before I saw the stage where a grey friend of mine was playing her instrument. I started walking and on my way to the stage Rainbow and Rarity caught up with me and started yelling.

“DANEL ALLEN!!! What do you exactly think that you are doing!?!?!” Rarity used my full name; which I found oddly funny.

“I’m with Rarity one this one big guy. Not that you slapping Blueblood wasn’t awesome but you could get into trouble.”

“Well Rainbow Dash and Rarity; I’m simply going to beat me at his own game…and me slapping him wasn’t nearly as bad as what I wanted to do to him.” The stares I got from the mares seemed to indicate that they knew what I was going to do.

After wading through a small crowd I found myself at the stage. I also noticed that I wasn’t alone at the front.

“Oh hello Dan; can you tell me why I have been hearing whispers about you slapping my nephew with a white glove?” Celestia asked me as our gazes met. Everything stopped for the time that we simply just stared at each other.

“He insulted my human culture and I am to prove him wrong…and make him look like a bit of an idiot.”

“Oh is that all? Ok then have fun. But was the white glove really necessary?” Celestia seemed fine with everything else but that.

“Let’s say it’s an old human tradition.”

“I can accept that; oh you need to hurry before Twilight gets here to give you a lecture.”

“That sounds like a good idea.” I said climbing onto the stage quickly as I saw the lavender unicorn and the rest of the group move towards me.

“Dan what do you thi…” Twilight started to say but was cut off as took the microphone on stage.

“Ladies and Gentlestallions!!! For those of you that don’t know me, my name is Dan. Now you’re probably wondering why I’m up here on stage. Well to give you the short answer; Prince Blueblood has insulted my race saying that we couldn’t possibly know anything about music or art; despite the fact that he knows absolutely nothing about me or my people. So I intend to prove him wrong and make him look like an idiot.” Apparently many ponies didn’t like Blueblood since I got a nice amount of laughter out of the last bit of my statement.

I left the microphone and headed towards the piano. The stallion on the bench looked at me with wide eyes as I approached him.

“Mind if I borrowed this?” I said as I gestured towards the piano. I took his scrambling out of his seat and basically running off stage as a “yes” and sat down. I thought about what song to play while I flexed my fingers; I had played a bit of piano but I didn’t know much. That’s when I remembered that I had literally beaten one song into my head and memorized the entire thing. I guess it would be interesting to see what the ponies thought if this.

“Ok then; this song…this song goes to Princess Luna.” I gave a wave to the other diarch who had come to the stage. She was surprised by my actions and blushed a little at the notion of someone dedicating a song to her. “Also this song was written by a deaf guy.”

I moved my hands over the keys trying to remind myself on where to start. I played some notes that I knew were wrong. The sounds were unpleasant but necessary to get my bearings. Out of my peripheral vision I could see ponies wince at the noises, and look at me like I was making an idiot out of myself instead of Blueblood. I could also see him with a smug look on his face. But luckily for me I figured my problem.

I took a deep breath closed my eye and laid my head over the keyboard on top of the piano and began to play. It was a song that just seemed to enchant me every time I heard it. It was slow and deliberate. With my eyes closed I just felt the music come out of me; I didn’t care what anyone thought while I was playing it was just me and the piano.

After several minutes of playing I ended the song. I opened my eyes and looked to see ponies look at me with shocked expressions on their faces. I guess it had gone well judging from the smiles on the princesses’ faces. I stood up from the bench and was met with rounds of applause. I gave a quick bow seeing as how it seemed courteous to the ponies cheering me on. Most of my group clamored onto the stage to give me congratulations. We celebrated on stage for a moment after the applause dies down.

“Dan that was simply incredible!!!”


“I thought that since you had more digits than a pony that you would be able to play a better melody but I had no clue that it would sound anything like that.”

And the praises kept coming for awhile before the group broke away to let the Princesses through. Luna was the one to speak this time.

“Dan that music was simply extraordinary; you must tell me though; why did you dedicate the song to me?”

“Well it has more to do with the name of the piece; it’s called the Moonlight Sonata.”

“Well whoever the composer was; surely he was great.”

“In my opinion he was the best; despite the fact that he was deaf.” Luna was about to say something else but her sister joined the conversation.

“Sorry Luna but I think that Dan’s harshest critics want to talk to him.” She said pointing behind me. I turned to find Lyra, Octavia, and Vinyl all smiling at me.

“So did I do good ladies?” I just decided to be forward and ask.

“Oh I thought it was lovely, a great piece of classical music.” Octavia said.

“I had no clue human music could sound so incredible!”

“It’s no exactly my cup of tea but that doesn’t mean it was bad.”

“That’s just Vinyl’s way of saying that she would have preferred something with more…what is it you call them Vinyl?”

“Wubs; Tavi; I call them wubs.”

“If you like I could do a song like that Vinyl?” I mentioned to the mare. Who seemed to turn towards me with a speed that Pinkie Pie could be proud of.


“Oh I believe he can.” Vinyl and I turned to see Princess Celestia behind us. “And if you are Dan I believe I have a request.”

“Um sure princess what do you have in mind?” I was puzzled as to what she was coming up with.

“Well when we went through your mind I came across a certain song…I believe it was called a remix or something like that and it was made by a person known as….tombstone or something I believe.”

It took me a minute to put everything together but I knew what song Celestia wanted for me to perform.

“Oh sure no problem princess; hey Vinyl come here for a second.”

“What’s up do you know what the princess wants.” I said pulling out my phone from one of my pockets. “Listen to this for a second.” I loaded up the song real quick and let her listen; as she did I saw her mouth go from a horizontal line to a wide smile.

“That is awesome…we are so going to pull that off.”

A few minutes later we were at her little DJ booth and a sizeable crowd. It turns out that the word spread quickly that I was going to be doing another music thing on the orders of the princess and apparently people really wanted to see that.

“You almost ready Vinyl? We got some ponies waiting.”

“Just one more minute; here take the mic and warm up the crowd.” a microphone wrapped in her magic aura came towards me; I grabbed it and began to speak.

“Hey everybody; if you haven’t heard my name is Dan.” I was given some applause and cheers. “Well I did the piano thing and now apparently I’m also going to be doing some techno, electronic, whatever music you caller it here. Now I’m not sure how known it is but where I come from we do know about you ponies and a lot of us do like you. We also do know what happened with Discord awhile ago.” I got both boos and applause for everything I just said; and also a bit of confusion too.

“Well in light of that happening. One of the things that happened is that another human made some music about it and it became really big; so know Princess Celestia has asked that we play it for all the ponies to hear it; so with Vinyl on the table and me doing vocals I think…” I looked back to Vinyl who gave me a nod for confirmation. “I think it’s about time we…HIT IT!!!”

With that Vinyl started the beat playing and I waited for my queue; and when my time came I sang.

“I'm not a fan of puppeteers but I've a nagging fear
someone else is pulling at the strings
Something terrible is going down through the entire town
wreaking anarchy and all it brings

I can't sit idly, no, I can't move at all
I curse the name, the one behind it all...

Discord, I'm howlin' at the moon
And sleepin' in the middle of a summer afternoon
Discord, whatever did we do
To make you take our world away?

Discord, are we your prey alone,
Or are we just a stepping stone for taking back the throne?
Discord, we won't take it anymore
So take your tyranny away!”

The crowd loved the song; ponies were jumping and dancing by the time we hit the second part of the lyrics. And I was pretty sire I saw a certain unicorn shaking her groove thang.

I'm fine with changing status quo, but not in letting go
Now the world is being torn apart
A terrible catastrophe played by your symphony,
what a terrifying work of art!

I can't sit idly, no, I can't move at all
I curse the name, the one behind it all...

Discord, I'm howlin' at the moon
And sleepin' in the middle of a summer afternoon
Discord, whatever did we do
To make you take our world away?

Discord, are we your prey alone,
Or are we just a stepping stone for taking back the throne?
Discord, we won't take it anymore
So take your tyranny away!

We hit the break in the song and I let Vinyl do her thing on the turntables. It was awesome to see how the ponies reacted to this. Everyone was having fun and even a few of the nobles were getting into the music.

Discord, I'm howlin' at the moon
And sleepin' in the middle of a summer afternoon
Discord, whatever did we do
To make you take our world away?

Discord, are we your prey alone,
Or are we just a stepping stone for taking back the throne?
Discord, we won't take it anymore
So take your tyranny away!

I sang the last of the lyrics as the music finished and stopped to breath before accepting applause from the ponies; apparently I wasn’t as tone deaf as I thought. Now usually I would have stepped down but I thought that one more song couldn’t hurt. After I had let Vinyl listen to the first song I asked if we could do one more; then I let her listen to what it was and she immediately agreed as long as I talk to her dad after the gala about music.

“Alright folks I know you thought that there was only going to be one song but fortunately for you I am a crafty guy so my and the infamous DJPON3 got one more for you!” I said retreating behind the turntables with vinyl. We heard cheers coming from below where everything was set up.

We stopped and rested for half a minute before pulling something’s out from underneath the table setup.

“But this song requires us to wear some specific items so bear with us here. The crowd murmured and waited as Vinyl and I both strapped on a sort of helmet; I was even surprised that they would be in this world; but I was grateful for it at the moment.

Vinyl showed off hers first which looked like a normal unicorn head except it was basically pure chrome with a black strip of a visor where the eyes should be. Mine was basically wall of black going down the middle of my face while the outside of it was rainbow colored.

Ponies looked at us weirdly and I could see Rarity almost keeling over from what we were wearing. But unfortunately music wait for no pony so we started to play. The song started slowly and built up. There weren’t many words; but the reason for that is that the words suited as part of the beat too. And just like the last song all the ponies like it all the same.

As the music came to a close and I took off my helmet I just kept thinking to myself. “This is a pretty awesome night I really hope it keeps getting better.

Chapter 12: Can you feel the love tonight...if so go see a doctor

View Online

Chapter 12: Can you feel the love tonight…if yes go see a doctor…

It took me awhile to get away from the crowd of new fans and admirers after the show Vinyl and I had put on. I was flocked on all sides by stallions and mares who were telling me that that was some of the best music that they have ever heard. And I am pretty sure that at some point somepony poked me in the butt and I heard a couple of mares giggle.

Meanwhile while this was going on I could see the Princesses and most of the group was standing a bit away giving me some comforting looks. Well I say most but the only pony who showed a bit of something other than happiness was Twilight. I could tell that she was probably upset about me slapping Prince Blueblood; even if it was for a good reason.

After thanking many ponies for their kind words I dumped the rest of them on Vinyl who gave me a death glare as I made my escape back to the group where I got more praise from almost everypony.

“Dan that music was AWESOME!!!”

“That was the best party music I have every heard!”

“I’ll say it was like nothing I’ve ever heard before!”

“I um didn’t really even mind that it was that loud.”

“It was quite exquisite.”

The compliments came from everyone in the group; except for a certain brown stallion and grey mare who had been scene mostly dancing the night away. Oh and Twilight wasn’t with the group.

“Thanks everyone, I gotta say that was really fun. Hey has anyone seen Twilight?” I had thought that she would have stuck around to lecture me still since she was never one to skip anything.

“Oh while you were having your time with your fans her brother came over and then they went somewhere else in the gala darling.” Rarity managed to answer my question.

“Oh Shining Armor…I almost forgot that he would be here…well I guess I should get this over sooner than later.” I said out loud for absolutely no reason.

“Oh and why is that Dan? Did you do something that would upset Shining Armor?” Rarity chimed in and brought the whole group’s attention on me. Her coy smile led me to know that she probably knew what I had planned for the end of tonight.

“….Oh hey look over there!!!” I said acting as surprised as I could. Apparently this type of child’s play worked and distracted everypony long enough for me to get away.

“Hey where did Dan…he did that so he could get away couldn’t he?”

“Quite right Rainbow Dash but don’t worry I think that this will be even close to the biggest surprise of the night.”

“Ooh does that mean that there will be an even bigger surprise!?!?” Pinkie bounced with excitement.

“Oh I do hope so dear; this has already outshined last year’s gala it would be a shame for it to end on a bad note because Dan got his tongue tied because of his feelings for her.” Everypony was confused and looking to Rarity for answers bout her comment but she just giggled and wouldn’t give anything away

Further into the Gala Dan was walking through a sea of ponies. Some recognized him from his performance; and others still had not seen him yet and were shocked. So sometimes ponies flocked around him and other times ponies simply got out of his ways. Although even with his height he still couldn’t catch a glimpse of the lavender mare he sought.

“Huh you think being twice as tall as pretty much everypony would give you a better view…I wonder where she could be?” I mused to myself as I moved forward through the crowds. I felt that I really had to ask Twilight a question about something before the night was out. I sort of knew where my feeling were; but knowing Twilight and how she acted to certain situations I couldn’t even begin to guess how the next set of events of me staying in Ponyville.

I found a wall to lean against to give myself a small break before I waded back into the mass of ponies. I didn’t know how ponies stood and walked as long as they without stopping to rest; maybe it was because they had four legs supporting all their weight; and maybe it was just me being a little out of shape; besides the hoofball game and getting chased by a whole class of kids I hadn’t gotten much exercise. I should probably change that seeing as how I’m now a resident of a town where out of the ordinary things happen pretty often; me appearing there being one of them.

I let my mind continue to wander for awhile hoping that with any type of luck Twilight would walk somewhere that I could see and I could intercept her. It may have been a minute or two before I felt somepony softly prod me in the leg.

“Um excuse me?” I heard a female voice politely say. I looked down to find not just a mare looking at me but a stallion with me as well; and they seemed very familiar. The mare had a pink coat of fur with a mane and tail that were colored with blue and white stripes; her Cutie Mark was a set of three stars in a triangle. The stallion had blue coat with his mane being an even darker shade of blue; his Cutie Mark has a white crescent moon with two yellow stars.

The two of them stared at me while I stared back at them not saying anything for awhile. It was like that they knew who I was and vice versa but was still trying to pull up the information so we could use it.

“Um sorry aren’t you…” all three of us said at the same time. We stopped and gave a laugh to show how embarrassed we were at what we just did. I decided that I would let them speak first; and as the mare began to say something we were interrupted.

“Mom, Dad!!!” me and the two ponies in front of me looked to the where the voice had come from. Smiles lit up as another pony joined a group; and it turned out all three of us knew her. Twilight had joined us and had been pulled into a hug with the two ponies.

“Oh Twilight dear; finally we get to see you tonight; although I think we met your “special friend” before you though.” The mare said nodding to me quickly while talking.

“Special friend??? What do you…”Twilight said following her mother’s notion and finally noticed I was standing there.

“You think being almost as tall as Princess Celestia that I would get noticed quicker; don’t you think so Twilight?” I joked as looked at the unicorn with a shocked look on her face. That look didn’t last long though as it quickly turned into a look of anger. I guess in the happiness of meeting her parents she didn’t forget about wanting to lecture me. Thankfully as she was about to start her mother stopped her; like all mothers usually do.

“Ah ah Twilight we’ll have none of that now.”

“But but…Moooom” Twilight whined dejectedly somewhat like a child.

“There will be no lecturing before you formally introduce us to your friend.”

Twilight looked at mother and then shot me an angry glare to which I gave her a surprise shrug back before she sighed in defeat.

“Mom, Dad this is Dan; the human I somehow managed to summon from another world. Dan these are my parents.”

“Twilight Velvet”

“Night Light”

Both of them held hoofs out for me to shake but instead I knelt down and gave them a hug. Behind me Twilight gave a little laugh as her parents gave her a curious look.

“He’s a hugger.” She said with a shrug as I let them go and stood back to my full height.

“It is so nice to finally meet you two; and now I can tell where Twilight gets her brains and her good looks.” I gave them each a compliment to try to get on their good side.

“Oh look at him first a hug and then trying to butter us up with compliments; he’s nice and polite too.” Apparently my plan was very see through; although I should have expected that from the parents of the Captain of the Guard and Element of Magic.

“Yes he can be exceptionally nice when he wants too; except for times when he goes and slaps princes across the face.” Twilight said deadpanned; her parents looked to me curiously at this news.

“He insulted me and I was avenging my honor…its one of my many quirks.”

“Would another one of those quirks be annoying older brother of the sister you are staying with?” a voice said behind me which made my blood run cold and body stiffen for a second. I turned around slowly to find Shining Armor staring at me with an intense glare.

“Now Shining be nice; he wasn’t trying to upset you; he was just having a bit of fun.” Said the soothing voice of Princess Cadence as she walked up next to him and put a hoof on his back which calmed him a little.

“Shining!!! Cadence!!!” Twilight basically shouted as she moved around me and hugged her brother and sister-in-law. It seemed like a nice moment for awhile before Twilight pulled back and looked at her brother accusingly.

“What did you mean annoying?” she looked back and forth between me and her brother.

“Oh I’m assuming he didn’t show you these?” Shining said while magicking the letters I had written to the princesses and floating them over to Twilight. Now being a very studious reader Twilight read through both of them in a couple seconds; but also reread them a couple of times. This was apparent in how her cheeks started to get redder and redder as time passed. Her mom and dad also got a chance to read them and like I had thought the princesses would; burst out laughing.

“How…why…I don’t…” despite probably having read a dictionary or two; Twilight was speechless and as red as a tomato.

“Oh then I guess you haven’t heard of or seen the picture have you then?” I said reaching into my breast pocket and pulling out the picture that I had finally gotten from Rarity after begging and offering my help unconditionally for any project. Twilight stood there stunned while the rest of their family rushed over to see the picture of the both of us sleeping while I held Twilight like a child would hold a stuffed animal.

Cadence and Velvet ooed and aahhed cutely like they were looking at a newborn foal. Shining still seemed angry but I could hear him holding back a snort. Night Light on the other hand…hoof; was laughing heartily like a father would seeing one of his children in an embarrassing situation.

“You…You…YOU!!!” Twilight yelled angrily at me before storming away with a huff. She quickly made her way out of everyone’s sight.

“Too much?” I asked the group of four ponies next to me.

“Oh Twilight has always been this way.” Her mother started. “She really didn’t start showing an interest in trying to know anything about anypony else till we got Cadence to foalsit for her. And even then it was still an uphill battle for us.”

“Heh sort of like me but opposite of where both of us are today.”

“What do you mean by that Dan?” Cadence asked.

“When I was a kid I was very friendly with all sorts of people; not the wrong sorts of people mind you. But as time went on people did and said things that slowly made me shut myself away from real contact.”

“Well that settles it young…man.” Night Light stepped up to me to talk. “I think you know what is going on and what has to be done; and you have my permission.”

“Do you mean…”


Twilight sat alone in the cool night looking at the stars. It was one of the few things that could calm her down. It wasn’t working quit as well tonight however; and a certain human was to blame for that.

“Stupid Dan with his stupid letters and photo…why did he have to do that…And he slapped Prince Blueblood!!! Doesn’t he take into account all the things that could go badly because of his actions!” she said to empty space around her.

“I can’t understand how he could do things like that it’s so…it’s….I don’t even have a word to describe it!” she leaned half her body on a railing and looked to the night’s sky. “And that’s not even the whole problem…”

“Then perhaps we should get it all out in the open then?” Twilight gasped as someone said something from behind her. She turned to find Dan looking slightly sad.

“What are you doing out here?”

“Well A: I wanted to apologize and talk to you, B: to get away from the crowds for a bit, and C: to cool down; it’s kind of hot in there…So what exactly is on your mind?”

“Well…you would be more or less correct; I can’t get over on how you sometimes just do things. You seem like your just jumping from one thing to the next trying not to get distracted by something and never thinking about what could go wrong. I also wonder what would happen if we found a way to send you back; and how everyone would take it; and I can’t tell why I have these feelings” I could see that she was on the verge of tears. And that she was having the same kind of mental quandary that I was in also.

Instead of waiting I quickly wrapped her in a hug and held her.

“Dan what are you…”

“Honestly I didn’t think we would be thinking almost the same things. Twilight I’m sorry if I did anything that didn’t seem right; it’s just how I live. After some things happened in my life I decided to just live more in the moment and just enjoy everything I could; I don’t see what could go wrong because I don’t want to and I always try to make sure the right thing happens. As for going back…Twilight; you’ve seen what my world is like; why would I want to go back. There I’m just some guy whose has a job he doesn’t like and failing to pass school.” I pulled out of the hug so I could look her in the eyes.

“If I stay here I could do something more than I ever could back home…I have a fresh start here Twi; I don’t think there is anything else I would rather have than that. Not to mention especially when I have feelings for somepony…”

“…is it Pinkie?” were the first words that came out of Twilight’s mouth.


“Because both of your energy levels are so in sync sometimes…”

“No it’s not Pinkie, it’s…”

“Is it Rainbow Dash or Applejack because of how athletic they are; I mean it does make them look nicer but…”

“No if you wait…”

“Well I don’t think it would be Fluttershy.”


“Then it’s Rarity right; I see the way you two always look and talk to each other.”

“For Celestia’s sake Twilight no; Rarity and I do that as a game of wits just to have fun with each other. The one I have feeling for is…oh screw it actions speak louder than words.” I said moving my right hand under her chin and lifting it up. I then leaned in and brought her lips to mine for a kiss.

We stayed there in the kiss; motionless for awhile before the need to breath came up. Both of us pulled away and just stared at each other without saying anything. I decided to be the first one to break the silence.

“I’m sorry if that was sudden but…” I didn’t have time to finish as Twilight came back and kissed me this time. Needless to say I didn’t mind.

Afterwards I finished what I had tried to say. “I think that for now we came leave some of the talking for later and for the rest of the night let’s have some fun…ok?”

“That…sounds nice.” She said as we just sat there on the stone balcony outside in an embrace of finding a special someone and somepony.

“Would you like to dance Twilight?” I said standing up and holding out a hand.

“Um sure but we don’t have any mus…” Twilight started to say but stopped when we could hear music coming out of the palace loud enough for us to hear. “Well that’s convenient…so how do we WOAH!?!?” she started to ask as I lifted her off the ground with one arm wrapped around her midsection under one of her forelegs allowing her hind legs to dangle in the air along with part of her dress.

“Now just put one hoof on my shoulder and put the other in my hand.” I said giving her the instructions. Within in a minute we were set and were slowly dancing around in circles; doing nothing but smiling at each other for the hurdle we decided to jump together.

And while we danced we didn't notice that a certain group of ponies hid just out of our range; they sat there watching us, some with smiles, some with tears of happiness, and some with both. Also one of them had some tape over her mouth to keep her from squealing and screaming in delight. And until the music had finished they didn’t interrupt us and let us have this moment with each other.

Chapter 13: Best Night Ev...SHUTUP BLUEBLOOD!!!

View Online

Chapter 13: Best Night Ev….SHUT UP BLUEBLOOD!!!!

Twilight and Dan had finally gotten their feeling out in the open and found out that they had each been thinking out the other. They had kissed and with the accompaniment of loud enough music had started to dance to their new relationship. And meanwhile they were completely unaware that there was a nice size group of ponies watching them from the shadows of the entrance to the balcony. Some chatted amongst themselves while others just stared on at the dancing couple.

“See I told you he would kiss her first; humans always make the first move!” Lyra said turning to and looking to the three ponies of varying heights.

“Well Lyra I guess you are right…” Bon Bon said a bit displeased, she never likes losing; not to say she was a sore loser but she just didn’t like it.

“Tis true then; I guess I owe you ten bits then Ms. Heartstrings.” The medium sized dark blue Alicorn said to the smiling unicorn mare in front of her.

“Darn it Luna that’s the last time I take your side in a bet” Celestia said grumpily next to the two other mares.

Meanwhile Rainbow Dash and Applejack were talking to Twilight’s parents about their thoughts on how their daughter was now dating a member of a completely different species. Surprisingly they were ok with it.

“So Mr. Night Light it looks like Twi and the big guy are now an item…and that doesn’t bug you that she’s not dating an actual stallion?”

“Well you might think so Rainbow but one of the things most ponies don’t know about me is that I once dated a griffin.”

“Seriously!!!” Rainbow’s eyes nearly popped out of her sockets as Twilight’s dad told a little of his past.

“Yeah it’s true; and the breakup of that was how Velvet and I met.” He said looking of into the distance.

“Um I don’t mean to be rude but I knew a griffon once; did you and Twilight’s mom meet when she came to tend to your wounds?”

“Rainbow! That’s not something nice to say.” Applejack admonished her friend before noticing that Night Light now had an even bigger smile on.

“Well Applejack I wouldn’t be upset she is half right.”

“Half right” the pegasus pony and the earth pony said at the same time as they gave the unicorn a dubious.

Night Light laughed at their looks before putting a leg over his wife and pulled her into a hug before speaking again. “Yeah it is true when I broke up with the griffon she beat me up quite good. But then the weirdest thing happened; while I was on the ground this cute unicorn filly came by, saw me, got upset, and proceeded to literally mop the floor with my griffon ex girlfriend.”

Rainbow Dash and Applejack both looked to Twilight Velvet who smiled and nodded; and then looked back to Night Light with their mouths hanging open in shock and surprise.

“And then after she finished; she came over and gave me first aid. And after I was standing again I asked her on a date; and from there…well I think you know the rest of the story.”

“Wait...” Rainbow came out of her shock to interject. “So if Twilight got her flank kicking skills from you…” Rainbow pointed to Velvet.

“And her love of checklists.” Velvet added.

“Right. So if she got all that from her mom. Then what did she get from you?” She asked Night Light.”

“Most likely her love of Astronomy. Which in the long run helped her figure out the whole “Nightmare Moon returning” thing; so I think I can live with that.” Night Light said puffing out his chest a bit as to look proud.

“Oh honey.” Velvet playfully gave her husband a shoved and laughed.

Within hearing distance of that small group was the only three ponies left that were still watching Dan and Twilight dance. Two of them were probably the only ones who foresaw the connection between the human and the pony; while the third stared at the dancing couple with a protective glare. He talked to the other two without moving his eyes.

“…How long…”

“Shining dear; you are going to have to be a bit more specific… and stop staring at them it’s getting kind of weird now.” Cadence said to her husband.

“How long have you…and you too Rarity; how long have you guys known about them? About how they might have felt about each other and if they could be a couple?” there wasn’t any anger in his voice; just a bit of curiosity.

“Well Shining I believe it may have taken me a bit longer than your wife; depending on how you view it.” Rarity spoke up first. “When Dan first got here he paid us many nice compliments; and some of them were just to make us blush too. I did slightly notice how he always put a little more “je ne sais quoi”* into what he said to Twilight. If your wondering how I noticed; it’s because part of my job is to pay attention to the details; I see the little things in a lot of what ponies do. SO from time to time I could see that Dan was putting just a bit more effort into what he was doing or saying to Twilight. And then there was when we found the in bed cuddled up together; they looked so perfect like that. I swear it was one of the cutest things I have ever seen; and I seen all three of the Cutie Mark Crusaders giving me puppy dog eyes all at once.” Rarity unloaded a nice amount of info for the royal couple.

“But I’m guessing you had an easier time deducing it than I did; right Princess Cadence?” Rarity turned to the princess with a smirk.

“Hmm out of the six of you Twilight may be the smartest; but I think you give her a run for her money on who would be the cleverest.” Cadence gave Rarity the compliment she deserved before continuing. “Yes being the Alicorn of Love did give me help in this; I sensed something during the party they had for Dan after the carriage factory incident. And I know I haven’t really been there to see what Dan has done and said but I can tell that they have been thinking about each others. With my powers I have been able to sense them in Ponyville and for awhile I could see that their interests in each other has been growing nicely plus there were also two other things that gave me a definite conclusion.

“Two other…you don’t mean…?” Shining said looking like he had just realized something.

“Yes dear, the letters that Dan sent.”

“But how did they help you?”

“Well I can sense love like other unicorns can sense magic; or like how Rarity can find jewels. From the time we first got those letters I could feel Dan’s love coming off them. And not just his love of being funny or sarcastic but it was his love of who he was writing about.”

“Hmm… Fine I guess I’ll accept him for now… But I’m going to be keeping an eye on him, and make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid.”

“Stupid in general or stupid within in regards to your sister?” Rarity asked.

“Wow Cadence is right; you are pretty clever.”

Farther off from the group of ponies; the pony and the human that they had been talking about had finished dancing and were now sitting on a bench quietly talking to each other.

“So do you feel better now Twilight?”

“A little dizzy from all the spinning; but yeah I’m fine.”

“Well that is how you dance to a waltz.”

“Oh you know what I mean.” Twilight said giving him a playful shove.

“Yeah but it’s just so fun to push your buttons…” he said leaning in towards her. “It makes you look so cute.”

“You’re incorrigible.”

“”And you like it.” He said before giving her a kiss to stop her from retorting. They staid like that for what seemed like an eternity to them before breaking apart. They stared at each while they kept talking.

“So do you think that they noticed that we noticed that they are standing in the shadows by the entrance watching and talking about us?” I asked her trying not to give away anything.

“Probably not, but my question is how they got Pinkie Pie to be quiet this long?”

“Duct tape probably.”

“You think they would go that far?”

“Rainbow Dash once snuck into a hospital to steal a book rather than ask you so no one would know that she actually liked reading.” I said with a deadpanned expression.


“Gesundheit.” I said trying to be funny. “One more kiss before we go face the masses?”

“I don’t see any problem with that.” She said with a coy smile that made me happy.

A minute later we headed back to the entrance and heard the sound of hooves shuffling.

“We’ve known that you guys are there; I wouldn’t bother hiding.” I announced to the group. Slowly but surely they made their way out of hiding places; even Celestia and Luna had tried to hide. All of our friends and family encircled us and gave us their blessings about our relationships. Shining Armor and Cadence were the last to talk to us.

“BBBFF are you okay?” Twilight asked him noticing a little sadness on his face.

“Yeah Twily I’m fine it’s just… I guess I’m just trying to getting used to seeing you grow up; and having to deal with it rationally.”

“Oh Shiny.” Twilight said giving her brother a hug. “It’s okay I know from experience that sometimes we can get a little…out of hand.” She said remembering a certain incident with a certain stuffed animal. V

“And now maybe your special somepony…er human can help you out in those situations.” Cadence chimed in to the two hugging siblings.

By this point Shining was out of his little funk and smiling like he normally did.

“Your right Twily; I hope you and Dan are going to be happy…although there is one thing that still bothers me.” He said letting go of his sister as he moved back to his wife’s side.

“What’s that?” Twilight and I said at the same time; wondering what he could be thinking about.

“That last kiss did seem kind of long.” I could see his big brother sense perking up again; and unfortunately fort him he hadn’t learned how no to step into me making a joke that would turn on him.

“Well I will tell you this Shining; I was not the one using tongue.”

“And with that everyone stopped and looked to me and Twilight. Looking to my side I could see my new marefriend looking mortified. Within seconds all her friends were surrounding her asking her questions while she vehemently denied everything. Meanwhile here brother had gone into a semi-comatose state and was on his back with all four legs stuck in the air and eyes stuck wide in surprise.

I laughed for a good couple of minutes before my breath ran out and Twilight finally got away from her friends and came over and punched me in my side.


“Twilight I’m sorry. I can’t be held responsible for every time your brother happens to walk into a punch line. Plus I think if you look you’ll find that Cadence thought that it was funny.

Twilight looked over to see he sister in law trying hard to stay on her hooves while laughing; her parents and also the princesses were in the same situation. But before she could say anything else it turned out that Pinkie had finally gotten he duct tape off of her mouth.


“Pinkie I think that if you take a look around that we are already at a party so we can’t have another party right now for me and Twilight.

“Hmmm I guess so… SO that mean I’ll have to do it some other time; now back to the party!!!” she said speeding back into the castle and letting her friends follow her. Twilight and I started to follow but were stopped by Celestia and Octavia.

“Dan, Twilight I don’t wish to intrude on your night but it appears that we might have a small problem.”

“What’s the matter Princess?” I asked. It didn’t seem like something major since Octavia happened to be with us.

“Well it appears that one of the musicians has had an accident and cannot perform.”

“What kind of accident; is anypony hurt?” Twilight being a caring soul asked of her mentor.

“No nopony is hurt it is more of a…messy accident. But the thing is; he along with Ms. Octavia and the other musicians were supposed to perform to close out the gala and well…”

“Now you can’t which means you would like some help from someone musically inclined; like me?”

“It is always good that you are quick on the uptake Dan.”

“Thank you Celestia; and I think I already may have a solution to your plan. I’m going to need an electric guitar, a drum set and a drummer, some amps, and…Octavia you wouldn’t happen to know how to play a bass guitar would you?”

Several minutes later…

A big crowd of ponies was gathering at the main stage within Canterlot Castle. It was near the end of the night and for many regular ponies it had been fantastic. Some of the stuffy nobles had even had managed to enjoy themselves too. It was to be said that at least two highlights of the night were when the mysterious human had entertained many with music from his land that had seen as every word from astounding to supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. And now even as ponies gathered at the stage had heard rumors that the human known as Dan might be making a third performance.

Many ponies looked to the section of area where the princesses, the royal couple, the elements of harmony, and the group of friends they had brought along were all sitting and relaxing a bit from the festivities of the night. But the human was no where to be seen with them.

After a couple of more minutes the curtains to the stage finally opened; and all the ponies in the room were surprised to see what they did on stage. Usually the last music act of the Grand Galloping Gala was more classical music. But instead upon the stage ponies could see Dan the human who looked like he was wielding an electric guitar for some reason, as well as the renowned cellist Octavia who was working out how to use an electric bass guitar for some reason, the DJ Vinyl Scratch was also holding another guitar with her magic and behind them was a unknown pony who gave a bit of a crazy smile while sitting at a drum set who was somehow twirling a pair of drum sticks with his hooves. He looked pretty normal except that he had a pretty long brown mane which hung form his head and also connected to his beard and mustache facial hair combo. All around the stage though were a bunch of amplifier like Vinyl Scratch had used during her performance.

Then after a minute of fiddling around with some of the amplifiers the human walked towards the mic positioned direct center at the front of the stage. Tapping it a couple of times to make sure it was working; the human then addressed the crowd

“Hello Grand Galloping Gala!!! I bet that you were not expecting this. It turns that that one of the musicians for the normal closing music performance is not doing so well and will not be able to perform tonight. Now seeing as how I’ve done two performances tonight, one being classical music and the other being electronic. I thought that this would be a good opportunity to show you my favorite kind of music.” I checked to make sure everypony on stage was ready; which they were. “And it all starts with a history lesson.

I started playing the guitar like I should and soon enough we were off into the first song.

In the beginning
Back in nineteen fifty-five
Man didn't know about a rock 'n' roll show
And all that jive
The white man had the schmaltz
The black man had the blues
No one knew what they was gonna do
But Tchaikovsky had the news
He said -
"Let there be sound," and there was sound
"Let there be lights," and there was lights
"Let there be drums," and there was drums
"Let there be guitar," and there was guitar
"Let there be rock"

I let my finger do the talking for me when I wasn’t singing. From quick glances that I could manage I could that many ponies were surprised at what I was doing. They had never seen or probably heard music like this. Then again no pony had fingers to play; although I thought that Lyra might be able to with her magic. But I pushed it out of my head and concentrated on playing the music

And it came to pass
That rock 'n' roll was born
All across the land every rockin' band
Was blowing up a storm
The guitar man got famous
The businessman got rich
And in every bar there was a super star
With a seven year itch
There were fifteen million fingers
Learning how to play
And you could hear the fingers picking
And this is what they had to say
"Let there be light"
"Let there be rock"

I checked to see that everyone else on stage was able to keep up and sure enough Octavia and Vinyl had learned pretty quickly. As for our drummer I could see that he was having the time of his life. He played those drum like he was in some kind of percussion nirvana

One night in a club called 'The Shaking Hand'
There was a forty-two decibel rocking band
The music was good and the music was loud
And the singer turned and he said to the crowd -
"Let there be rock"

The end of the song came quickly and I let the guitar do most of the talking and started simply shredding the last of the notes. Everyone managed to get to the in a symphony of noise like it should be and we stopped to catch our breath and wait for the crowds reaction.

It was completely silent for about five seconds before the applause and noise we got was almost as loud as our playing. There were cheers, whistles, and screams all coming our way; and I think that a couple of mares threw their girders towards me on stage. I looked to Twilight from my position on stage and saw she was a bit upset about that fact so I simply swept them offstage with my foot and got ready for the next song.

“Well I’m guessing that you folks liked that huh? Well this next one goes out to a mare that’s very special to me…and in fact if you’re here with your own special somepony keep her close guys while we do this next one.

It started out a lot slower than the first but gradually built up into the first part of the lyrics.

I've waited here for you

I throw myself into
And out of the red, out of her head she sang

I strummed out that familiar rhythm on my guitar as I kept singing.

Come down
And waste away with me
Down with me

Slow how
You wanted it to be
I'm over my head, out of her head she sang

I looked straight at Twilight before the next words came out of my mouth. I hoped she would get the message

And I wonder
When I sing along with you
If everything could ever feel this real forever
If anything could ever be this good again

The only thing I'll ever ask of you
You've got to promise not to stop when I say when
She sang

Breathe out
So I could breathe you in
Hold you in

And now
I know you've always been
Out of your head, out of my head I sang

And I wonder
When I sing along with you
If everything could ever feel this real forever
If anything could ever be this good again

The only thing I'll ever ask of you
You've got to promise not to stop when I say when
She sang

Going into the last verse I closed my eyes and just let everything flow out; I didn’t think I could mess up now anyhow

And I wonder
If everything could ever feel this real forever
If anything could ever be this good again

The only thing I'll ever ask of you
You've got to promise not to stop when I say when
She sang

Like last time the ponies cheered us and this new kind of music they were hearing; I could also see that the group was having a good time listening to this too; before I started the next song I asked Rainbow to quickly fly to the stage and hand me something. She arrived in two seconds and handed me a pair of jet black sunglasses. I thanked her and watched her get back to the group’s are within three seconds.

“Alright everypony I can see that you definitely want some more; but this song is going to be a tad different; but I can guarantee you that it is going to be at least…” I put on the sunglasses before finishing. “two hundred percent cooler.” Some groan, laughter, and cheers followed my bad joke but I didn’t let me affect me as I got into the mindset for my next song

I dropped the pitch on my voice to sound a bit deeper as I started singing.

Rumour spreadin' a-'round in that Texas town
'bout that shack outside La Grange
And you know what I'm talkin' about.
Just let me know if you wanna go
To that home out on the range.
They gotta lotta nice girls ah.

Have mercy.
A pow, pow, pow, pow, a pow.
A pow, pow, pow.

I picked up the guitar playing like the first song but there was a different quality; it seemed more refined and emotional.

Well, I hear it's fine if you got the time
And the ten to get yourself in.
A hmm, hmm.
And I hear it's tight most ev'ry night,
But now I might be mistaken.
Hmm, hmm, hmm.

Ah have mercy.

I loved playing this guitar solo cause it just sounded so nice to hear the notes coming from each separate string. By the time we finished the crowd was still as pumped from the last song so I thought it would be best to get into the last song a bit quicker.

“Alright everypony this is the last song of the night and it’s kind of like one we did before. But don’t be afraid to let your hair down and simply rock out.

The song started fast and stayed that way all the way through I could tell that the three ponies behind me were a bit tired but would manage through this.

What have we done with innocence
It disappeared with time
It never made much sense
Adolescent resident
Wasting another night on planning my revenge

One in ten
One in ten
One in ten

Don't wanna be your monkey wrench
One more indecent accident
I'd rather leave than suffer this
I'll never be your monkey wrench

All this time to make amends
What do you do when all your enemies are friends
Now and then I'll try to bend
Under pressure
Wind up snapping in the end

One in ten
One in ten
One in ten

Don't wanna be your monkey wrench
One more indecent accident
I'd rather leave than suffer this
I'll never be your monkey wrench


I hit the part of the lyrics that I loved to sing in this song; I took in a nice amount of air stopped playing the guitar and let Vinyl handle it; I stepped up to the mic closed my eyes and started basically screaming the lyrics while banging my head up and down to basically every other word.

One last thing before I quit
I never wanted any more than I could fit into my head
I still remember every single word you said
And all the shit that somehow came along with it
Still there's one thing that comforts me
Since I was always caged and now I'm free

Don't wanna be your monkey wrench
One more indecent accident
I'd rather leave than suffer this
I'll never be your monkey wrench

Don't wanna be your monkey wrench
Fall in Fall Out
Don't wanna be your monkey wrench
Fall in fall out
Don't wanna be your monkey wrench
Fall in fall out
Don't wanna be your monkey wrench

The song ended with me breath less and hoping that I wouldn’t have to stand for much longer cause all that entertaining had worn me out a bit. Unfortunately this was the point where something happened. After the applause had stopped and the other three performers had walked off stage Prince Blueblood walked on stage and started to verbally abuse me. Turns out he had being drinking a lot since I saw him last and was now quite drunk.

“Wow that was the worst noise I have ever heard; I can’t believe these commoners are letting you stand on his stage right now.” He turned to the crowd who I could see was starting to get angry at him. “You peasants actually liked that? No wonder that none of you have what it takes to be civilized.”

He kept talking for awhile but I really wasn’t listening; I looked over to where Twilight and the group were. I could that some of them were getting pretty angry, and so was the crowd from the glances I got. It was about when I saw some pony hold up a tomato that I came up with an idea.

I held up my hand to quite the crowded that had started to boo Prince Blueblood.

“You know what Prince Blueblood; you may have a point.” I saw surprise coming from many faces including my marefriend who hadn’t expected me to do that. I gave her my trademark grin to show her that I knew what I was doing as I spoke again.

“But Prince if you want to speak you have to stand in the right place to do it.” I said giving him a shove in a direction. After a minute I managed to maneuver him in front of the biggest amps on stage. “Alright now just stand right here.” I said backing away slowly. He stood there stumbling a bit on his hooves. I backed up quite a bit grabbed my guitar with my left hand and held my right hand up. I put three fingers up and silently counted down from three with to the crowd. On three I brought my hand straight down through the strings and made the loudest noise I could. The sound came out of the amp that Blueblood was standing in front of. It completely blew him off his hooves into the air. He sailed through the air for what seemed like a minute before crash landing in a chocolate fountain.

The crowd cheered as if it was some kind of stunt that you would see at a Wonderbolts show. Twilight made her way to the stage as this went on. Once Blueblood had landed and the cheering was done I turned to her gave her a quick peck on the cheek and turned back to the mic.

“That’s all we have for you ponies tonight; I hope you had a great Grand Galloping Gala, and GOODNIGHT!!!”

After that I looked to Twilight. “Best night ever?”

She stared at me before smiling. “Yeah I guess it was.”

Chapter 14: They are watching...and it's kinda creeepy...not really

View Online

Chapter 14: They are watching…and it’s kinda creepy…not really

“Beginning virtuous mission” a voice hiding in the shadows said quietly. The pony behind the voice knew that its mission was vital and dangerous; stealth was of the utmost importance; for it and the two ponies accompanying it. They would have to sneak through the town full of civilians unnoticed and retrieve their target from the designated spot…in broad daylight. They quickly maneuvered through the shadows and alleys between buildings; making sure not to bring any attention to themselves.

Within a few minutes the three had managed to go undetected and had come within range of the location of their target; the Ponyville Library. Stealthily they made their way over to one of the ground floor windows to see if their target was inside. And they weren’t totally sure of what they saw when they peeked inside.

A Few Minutes Earlier…

Well it had been a few days since the Grand Galloping Gala and we were approaching Hearthswarming time; and in just a day or too the weather patrol would make the switch to the winter weather. So in these last few days they decided that today would be really really hot. But thankfully my marefriend lives in a tree which apparently doesn’t collect much heat unless you want it to; and plus Twilight can change the temperature inside with her magic.

So both of us took today to relax inside where it was cool…well at least I was relaxing in the definition of the word. Twilight on the other hand was going through a bunch of spell books trying to put something together. Now normally I wouldn’t try to bother her but every once and awhile she looked at me. Not the kind of look at me like a mother would to check on her child, but more of a look that gave the impression the she was measuring me and somewhat undressing me with her eyes…so I decided to ask what was up.

“Hey Twi?”

“Mmhmm what is it Dan?” she responded.

“Watcha doin?”

“Oh I’m trying to figure out how to create and perform a new spell.”

“And does that spell have something to do with me?”

“Yes…how did you know?”

“Well your kind of giving me that hungry academic look like I’m a test subject or something.” I saw her blush from my statement; which told me that I was close to the answer.

“Oh…well I was thinking that maybe if I studied your form that I may be able to use my magic to transform myself into a human…is that ok?”

“Sure I don’t really have a problem with it; but can I ask why?”

“Well… I thought that now since we are dating that if I could turn human since you don’t have any magic; that we would be closer…was I wrong?” she gave me one of those cute looks that showed her worry as she moved towards where I sat on the couch.

“No no; besides the fact that I feel close to you regardless of who looks like what I think it’s cool if you wanna try it out.”

“Thanks Dan.” She said giving me a nuzzle on the cheek. I would have thought that she was fine then if she hadn’t given a little twitch when she moved her neck a certain way.

“Are you alright Twilight?” I gave her a look of concern.

“I think I’m just a little sore from the constant turning to look at you for measurements. Don’t worry I’ll be fine; it’s nothiHEY!!!” she began to assure me right before I picked her up and laid her over my lap. “What are y…” she started to say as I dug my finger into her fur.

“I’m not going to let my girl go around with a pain in her neck when I have perfectly good hands for massaging her cares away.” I said cheerfully as she started to basically melt into my hands and lap.

“Ah but…ahhhh I was mmmm my work mmmhhh…” She tried to argue with me but relented after less than a minute. “How are you so good at this?” she managed to say after a couple of minutes.

“Back where I used to live I had cats and sometimes I would massage them whenever they decided to lie down near me.” I told her as I continued my massage on her back, neck, head, and flanks.

“Are you comparing me to your cats?”

“I’m saying that if you were a cat that you would be purring right now.” We both laughed at the joke. As I made sure my marefriend was content with her massage a bit of an evil idea popped into my head.

“He Twilight; do you want to know the one thing I never figured out about my cats that I’m going to figure about you?” I gave an evil smile that she didn’t see because her eyes were closed.

“Hmm what’s that?” she wasn’t expecting anything.

“If they were ticklish.”

“Oh ticklish alright…” she said as she was about to fall asleep from the massage; then her eyes shot wide open. “Wait what!?!?” her voice cracked as she got the message to late.

I had actually wondered if ponies were ticklish; and as it turns out Twilight was a very good test subject to try this out on. Reaching underneath her I began my attack and she was powerless to resist me. She immediately broke in hysteric laughing and started squirming ferociously.


After a minute or two I finally gave her rest. She was out of breath and panting from her spot in my lap.

“Well I think I can conclude this study and say that ponies are indeed ticklish. Do you think we should try to publish a paper on this Twilight?”

“You…Get...I’ll…” she said gasping for air with each word.

“Shh rest now and save you strength.” I said picking her up and heading to her room. I laid her on the bed and left the room saying “I’ll let you take a break and then you can start scheming your revenge ok?” a tired nod was all I got before I closed the door to let her get her energy back.

Without Twilight looking up things in five books at once the library had gotten substantially quieter. It seemed peaceful but I think that maybe I shouldn’t have put my marefriend into a post tickle coma. As for Spike he was with Rarity doing something; obviously anyone with eyes could see that he was trying to get her attention. Maybe one day I should help him.

My thinking and the silence of the library was suddenly stopped when I heard the creaking of the floor board come from behind me. I looked back thinking that maybe Twilight was trying to get back at me quickly. But instead of seeing my favorite lavender mare I saw three small black shapes. I say that because they only paused for a second when they noticed that I noticed them.

“HE’S SEEN US SMOKE BOMB!!!” one said as it threw something to the floor. In an instant everything turned white and my state of panic set in as I tried and failed to climb over the back of the couch. Upon crashing I felt hooves touch me and something started to constrict my movements. And as quickly as everything went white everything went black and now I could not see because something was covering my head. After that it went back to being quite and from how I was moving I could tell that I was already out of the library and going somewhere else.


“Oh I am so going to get him back for this.” Twilight huffed as she made her way out of the bedroom and moved down the stairs.

She knew that it had all been in good fun; but he said she could have revenge and she was going to take it. Well he actually said she could try to take revenge on him she reminded herself; always being one to be detail oriented and specific. Maybe she could find a way to use the transformation spell in her revenge.

While she was in the middle of thinking while going down the stairs she suddenly noticed that everything in the library was covered in a layer of pure white dust.

“Oh what happened here…Dan?” she called out and got no reply.

She walked forward and then saw that there was a large kind of smudge in the dust where it looked like something large had wiped it away. As she looked on she could see that it then made a trail which stopped at the door. And at the foot of the closed door was a note.

“Dear Twilight Sparkle…”

In A Different Location…

In the time I had been kidnapped and moved out of the Library I did something that most kidnapees would probably never do…I took a nap. For some reason I didn’t feel like I was in any danger; I couldn’t tell why but something just felt right. So with my head inside of whatever was creating the darkness around me I closed my eyes and rested. Coming to a sudden halt was what woke me up after what seemed like minutes. I tried to say something but stopped when I heard a familiar voice.

“Now what in tarnation is this?” I picked up Applejack’s voice and tried to respond but was cut off again.

“We got Dan just liked you asked?” I heard Applebloom’s voice answer.

“And why is he all tied up and has a bag over his head?”

‘Well Applejack that would be because the snuck into a library, used a smoke bomb to blind me and then tied me up and brought me out to what I am assuming is Sweet Apple Acres.” I finally managed to get a word in.

“Girls!!!” I could hear her starting to say something to the Cutie Mark Crusaders who were the ones that kidnapped me.

“Applejack it’s ok.”

“Wha? Are you sure Dan?”

“Yeah as long as someone unties me now please.” And in less that a minute the ropes and the thing over my head came of and I could finally see again. I gave a smile to Applejack before looking to the Crusaders and seeing that they were wearing costumes.

Sweetie Belle was wearing a camo suit with what looked like an empty knife holster on her side; her hair was held back with a large bandana tied around her fore head with the tails hanging and sometimes swaying in the breeze, and over one eye she had an eye patch.

Scootaloo was wearing a ninja suit which was sleeveless and had holes in the back for her wings. On the top of the hood was a kind of enlarged ninja head band and there was also a black scarf wrapped around her neck which was tattered in the back. And also for some reason she had a katana on her back.

As for Applebloom she had one a variation of the cat suit I know Twilight used when she snuck into the Canterlot Archives, this version had hood which like Scootaloo’s but instead of a ninja head band she had a nice size pair of night vision goggles which had a nice bright green glow.

“Well Applejack…” I said taking ma attention away from the Crusaders as they gave me some apologies which I took because curse pony cuteness. “I guess you wanted me for something?” I asked the mare.”

“Oh yeah that’s right. Big Mac and some of the other stallions are doin some construction for the farm and I was wondering if you would be able to help them out.”

“Oh sure no problem just show me where.” It was never a problem for me to help anyone when they asked me. I thought it was a bit weird that it was Big Mac and some of the other guys working on this; but I just pushed it out of my mind.

“It’s just a short walk that way.” She pointed out with a hoof.

“Thanks AJ.” I said turning to walk in the direction she pointed.

After Dan was out of earshot Applebloom turned to her sister. “You said we needed to get him secretly Applejack.”

“Does Twilight know that he’s here?” her older sister asked her.

“Yeah we left her a note.” The three fillies said together.

“Alright then you girls did a great job how about you gals head back to the house for some snacks.” The fillies cheered and ran off towards that house while Applejack chuckled at what had happened and how the later events of the day would play out. “Ahehehe this is gonna be a fun afternoon.”

After walking for a couple of minutes I heard the working sounds of tools and grunting so I knew that I was close. A little bit more walking found me looking at Big Mac, Caramel, Thunderlane, Doc Whooves and another pony who I didn’t expect to see here.

“Well look who finally showed up!” Shining Armor said; he was wearing a tool belt instead of his normal guard or royal clothes.

“Hey Dan it’s about time you showed up!” Caramel was excited to see me.

“Eeyup” Mac gave his usual greeting

“I guess Shining is right you did take your sweet time getting here.” Thunderlane said hi in his own way.

“Well since time is relative and all that wibbly wobbly…” Doc Whooves started to say straightening his tie but stopped when he got glares from most of the group. “Nothing never mind how’s it going Dan?”

“It’s fine, sorry if I’m late I guess my kidnappers took the scenic route. I said getting curious glances from the guys. “Crusaders; long story; tell you later…So what are we doing?”

“Well since the amount of crops we produce every year keeps getting bigger were just raising a storage shed today; and since we got you with those fancy hands and the prince with his magic it’s probably going to go a lot easier with all the parts that need screws.” A rare amount of words came from Big Mac; but I think when it comes to work he can speak for as long as he needs to.

“Mac I told you; you can just call me Shining like everyone else here does I think we’re good enough friends after the gala.

“Sorry Shining it just takes awhile for me to break out of habits and such.”

“Well ok then… This sounds fun; does anyone have a screwdriver?” I asked.

“Oh sure you can borrow mine.” The doctor said reaching into his collar.

“One that works on wood Doctor?”

“Oh never mind then.” He said blushing and returning back to his work with fervor.

We worked for awhile getting all the wood sorted out and building the frame of the shed and we setting up the roof. While we worked though a question popped into my head about Shining Armor; so I asked him after we got the structure of the roof set up.

“So Shining I never asked but; why exactly are you here?”

“What the captain of the royal guard can’t help the people?”

“No not that I mean that I would just never expect to show up to Sweet Apple Acres and find you here helping us on a whim.”

“I’ll let you know that I volunteered to help” he said to me before turning the other way; and I would have taken that answer if I hadn’t seen him look quickly upwards.

“Oh I get it; when you say “you volunteered” you mean Cadence volunteered you right?” he literally jumped when I said that and turned around ready to yell at me but then Thunderlane intervened.

“Sorry Shining I’m gonna have to go with Dan on this one I’m pretty sure all of us plus some ponies in Cloudsdale saw that jump so instead of taking your anger on the guy now dating your sister; just admit it and save yourself any embarrassment from any jokes we would create about you being kinda subservient to your wife.”

Shining stood in place for a minute thinking about his options before he sighed heavily and relented. “Yes Cadence volunteered me for this. Although I would have done it if asked normally.”

“Good. That’s all we wanted to hear right fellas?” I asked the group who all gave a nod except for Thunderlane.

“Actually I kinda wanted to hear him try to save himself I think it would have been funny.” I responded by giving him a light punch on top of his head. “OW!!!” now that was funny.

A Bit Farther Away…

Twilight had read the note that was left for her. She could tell that one of the Crusaders had probably left it; most likely Sweetie Belle since all the Is were dotted with little hearts. She guessed that they were also probably the ones who had taken Dan; but why to Sweet Apple Acres she wondered. She made her way towards Applejack’s house to see if she knew anything but on her way she heard a noise that sounded like giggling coming from a part of the orchard. She moved off the path and made her way into the orchard; as she went the sound got louder. She wondered what it could be and then after moving around a tree she saw Applejack.

“Oh Applejack hello.” She said as she trotted up to her friend.

“Oh hi Twilight I guess you’re here to figure out what happened to Dan huh? Well he’s here helping out Big Mac and some of the other guys putting up a storage shed.”

“Oh ok that’s nice to know but why did the Crusaders kidnap him then?”

“Well that might be a tiny bit my fault. I told him that they needed to be a little secretive about it and I think they kinda ran loose with the idea; they had costumes and everything.” The giggling sound came back after Applejack finished speaking and it sounded like Twilight was right on top of the source.

“Uh Applejack what exactly is that noise?”

“Oh that’s just the other girls.”

“What other girls?”

“Oh that’s right I should show you.” Applejack said as she turned around and stuck her hoof out like she was going to grab something which Twilight thought was a bit weird; and became even weirder when she actually did grab something that shouldn’t have been there.

Applejack the n moved her hoof like she was turning a doorknob and sure enough after she did she pulled and a door seemed to magically appear out of nowhere and opened for them.

Twilight sort of stared into space for a minute or two before her body took control and moved her forward through the entrance of the door to nowhere. As she walked in she saw that she was in a room that was well furnished with pillows and chairs and much cooler than the weather outside. Inside were many of the mares she knew in Ponyville; Lyra, Bon Bon, Aloe, Lotus, Rose, Lily, Daisy, Crystal Clear the reporter, Derpy, and even her friends. Each if them were sitting down and staring out what appeared to be a large window; they talked to each other and were giggling about something they were seeing.

“Welcome to the viewing room Twilight.” Applejack said as she came in and closed the door behind her.

“What is this?” Twilight was dumbfounded.

“Well Twilight let me start off by telling you that I do notice from time to time when certain gals are giving my brother a look or two. And I don’t blame them; I’ve looked at a couple stallions myself. So when I noticed that Big Mac was gonna start a little construction project a little idea popped into my head. I’d let Mac and a couple of guys work and let them flex their muscles and such; and all the while I’d let the girls watch for a very little and modest fee.

“Applejack that’s…well first of all brilliant from a business standpoint...but form a moral strand point…how do you think Princess Celestia would react if she knew that one of the elements of harmony was doing something like this?”

“Oh Twilight who do you think created this magic room and had already donated to your friend’s cause.” A royal voice came from behind Twilight; she turned to not only see her mentor but Princess Luna, and Her sister-in-law Cadence in the room as well.

“Princess…Celestia...” Twilight could barely get the words out.

“Twilight before you stress out let me tell you that there is nothing wrong with just watching and talking about something like this; and it is a great way to boost your friendship with your friends comparing your likes to dislikes.” The Alicorn said to her student.

Twilight cheered up a little and then turned to her old foalsitter.

“But Cadence why are you here; you’re married to my brother.”

“The smaller multicolored smiled at Twilight and brought her attention to the window where they could see the stallions and human working on the shed. “Who do you think is out their working as well Twilight?”

Twilight looked and sure enough she could see her BBBFF working beside Applejack’s brother and her coltfriend. She also noticed that they were sweating a bit more than they should be in the current outside temperature.

“Um should they be sweating that much?” noticing that Dan’s shirt was drenched in sweat.

“Well Twilight it may seem a little weird but I think it may be because a certain Princes is using he power over a certain celestial body to make the temperature go up just slightly enough ask to make the boys outside sweat and make them look more…how should we put it in her terms…delectable.” Princess Luna said coming up beside Twilight.

Twilight looked to her mentor to find that she was blushing quite profusely at what her sister had just said and was also not trying to deny it.


“Oh twilight I think if you look now my little change is having an affect on your cute human.” Twilight turned to see that Dan was indeed doing something. After wiping the sweat from his brow he looked down at his shirt. He moved his hands to the bottom and then pulled it upwards bringing it over his head and completely off.

All the girls in the room including Twilight herself squealed at this like little school fillies. But that wasn’t the end either; after that he took some of the water he had in a bottle and poured it on his head and let it run down in a mini cascade.

Some of the girls fainted from this While Twilight as well as the three Alicorns next to her stared in shock with their jaws hanging open and two of them had their wings at full attention.

“After collecting herself Twilight walked over to Applejack who was with the rest of her friends; planted a hoof on her shoulder and then said. “How much do I owe you?” to which Applejack only grinned.

Hours Later Back At The Library…

Working on the shed with the guys was fun. We talked bout a bunch of stuff ranging from Equestria sports to mares; in which me and Shining defended our choices in mares; much to the chagrin of everyone else. Although I had the weird feeling that it kept getting a bit hotter around us. I came back to the library to find Spike asleep downstairs on the couch. I guess whatever he did with Rarity tired the guy out.

“Dan are you back?” I heard Twilight say from upstairs.

“Yeah; sorry about that Big Mac needed my help with something.”

“Oh it’s fine…say can you help me with something up here?”

“Sure I’ll be right up.” I said making my way to the stairs. Upon getting to the bedroom I opened it up and I couldn’t see where she was. “Twi? Where are you babe?”

“Right behind you” I heard her say in a predatory. Before I knew it I flew through the air and landed on the bed; I felt magic turn me over and I came face to face with Twilight. I tried to move but felt my arms and legs restrained by her magic. She slowly got up onto the bed and then sat on her haunches onto my stomach.

“Try to get my revenge huh? Looks like I’m trying pretty good right?” she asked. A loud nervous gulp was all she got out of me. “So let’s see how you like it when your on this side!” she said raising her fore legs and then bringing them down and using her hooves to find my most ticklish spots.

The torture seemed to go on for hours; I had no clue that without fingers that a pony could tickle someone that well. Although I had that same doubt t about getting a massage. When she finally stopped I was very out of breath. She got up; and I tried to but still found myself restrained.

“Oh did you think that we were done?” I managed to see a flash of magic and moved my head to where I could see; and what in saw blew me away for a bit. My marefriend was now standing upright. He back legs still looked like her pony form but were a bit longer and slender. She was curvy in all the right places with her lavender fur still covering her completely. Aside from her fore arms which were now proper arms with hands and ten digits on each she looked mostly the same; but it was a breath takingly beautiful sight to see for me.

“By Celestia’s white flanks…” I muttered as my heartbeat became a bit irregular.

“Well she did help a little.” Twilight said walking back to the bed and retaking her place on top of me. She flexed her new fingers a bit trying to work them out before looking back to me with another predatory gaze before she bent down and gave me a quick kiss. “Now where were we?” she said with a smile.

“Oh no…” and those were probably the last coherent words I said all night.

Chapter 15: Hearthswarming: Family, Friends, Kickass Music, and just a bit of wanton destruction…

View Online

Chapter 15: Hearthswarming: Family, Friends, Kickass Music, and just a bit of wanton destruction…

Canterlot during the time of Hearthswarming was breathtaking. The already white city was made even more beautiful by the snow that had fallen over it; making it look like one giant ice sculpture. The palace as well looked great whether you were looking in from the outside; or out from the inside. And if you did happen to be looking inside you could see that things looked a bit busier than usual palace day to day operations. And it was not just that the staff was working harder. On the contrary; the princesses had given their staff the holidays off. It turns out that the two rulers had taken this holiday to invite not only the bearers of the elements of harmony to the castle for the holidays; but also their families as well.

All through the palace different families were doing different things. Applejack along with her brother and parents were busy moving a gigantic pine tree in while Granny Smith was sorting through the decoration into apple shaped one and non apple shaped ones. All the Pies were baking; with Pinky, Inky, and Blinky doing the actual cooking, while Ma Sue Pie was sorting and Pa Clyde Pie was taste testing. Rainbow Dash and mother Firefly flew circles around and in the castle while her father Blue Streak tried his hardest to keep up.

In the room where the tree was being set up Princess Celestia and Princess Luna were reveling in their break from running a country in a different way than usual. They sat on cushions while two other ponies who looked like they were tourists told them stories of their travels. Next to them how ever was the dear element of generosity; Rarity; who as she listened struggled to not bash her head against the nicely tiled floor while her “uncouth” parents told the princesses every tourist story in the book. And the princesses weren’t the only ones listening right next to them were Fluttershy and here two parents; they all seemed to be the same type just sitting their quietly listening.

And going back between all the sections of the castle; making sure things were prepared, checking off those things on check lists, and checking off that those checklists had been done on the major checklist were the five members of the Sparkle Family. Twilight had been the one to make the lists. Her mother sorted them according to family member capabilities. Cadence gave the orders. And Shining Armor and Night Light did what any good husband would do and just followed their wives orders.

That left four unaccounted for in the large group. One earth pony filly, one unicorn pony filly, one pegasus pony filly, and one human; and none of them were inside the castle at the time. They had taken the time to look at the grounds of the palace and found something to their liking. Now at a fair distance from the castle on a fairly high hill; the four looked out into the distance while contemplating their choice.

“Oh man this hill is awesome; this is going to be the best sled ride ever…period.”

“I don’t know Dan this seems kind of dangerous; we could get hurt.” said Applebloom.

“Said the earth filly that seems indestructible at most times in here crusader adventures.” I countered.

“We could get our nice winter clothes dirty.” said Sweetie Belle.

“With snow which turns into water which can be dried by unicorn magic.” I countered again.

“And this hill is kinda high Dan.” said Scootaloo.

“Says the pegasus that wants to fly in the clouds. Girls trust me we’ll be fine it’s just a sled ride plus after walking all the way up here I am not walking down.” I said moving the sled to the edge and looking over.

“So you can either climb on up or walk down.” After a couple of seconds I felt the telltale sign of little hooves climbing over me.

“Alright then everyone ready?” I asked.

“We guess so…” the said in unison.

We sat there on the edge for a minute before leaning forward and beginning our descent. It wasn’t that steep of an incline but after awhile we picked up some serious speed. Not to mention we still had to go around some obstacles in our path. For some reason though a question kept coming up in my head and I felt like I had to ask it.

“Hey girls… Do you think pony nature is good or evil?” I asked.

“WHAT!?!?” was the answer is got back from three screaming voices.

“I mean, do you think ponies are good with a few bad tendencies, or basically bad with a few good tendencies?”

“Watch out for that TREE!!!” Scootaloo yelled.

“And those ROCKS!!!” Sweetie shouted.

“Or, as a third possibility, do you think ponies are just crazy, and who knows why they do anything?”

“Why is there a loop-de-loop made of SNOW OUT HERE!?!?!” Applebloom shouted and pointed ahead of me.

Sure enough there was a loop and since if was made of snow it didn’t really hold together when we hit so and so now we were three fillies and one human covered in a mass of snow on a sled.

“Well? What do you think? Are ponies good, bad, or crazy?” I said as I somehow didn’t notice that we had somehow sledded of a cliff and into the open air.

Castle Common Room

After my BBBFF, mom, dad, and sister-in-law had finally gotten all of our checklists done and synced the checklist checklist we headed back to the common room where all my friends and their family were getting ready for a Hearthswarming brunch. Although it seemed that we were missing someponies and someone.

“Has anyone seen Dan and the Crusaders?” I asked the group of ponies who were gathering at a fairly large table.

Before anyone could answer Pinkie started shaking. “Ooh ooh twitchy tail, knee pinch, ear flop, eye flutter, achy back; someone open those patio doors there.” She said pointing to one of the doors that let outside.

Not one to disregard Pinkie’s Pinkie sense Rainbow Dash flew over and opened the doors as quick as she could.

“Ok now what Pink’s?”

“Now wait about ten seconds.” She said and for ten seconds everyone held their breath until all of a sudden a white blur fell and landed in the room. It took a second before the dust settled and the large group of ponies looked on to see a pile of snow with 4 pairs of legs sticking out of the top of it and also a sled sticking out of it.

“Well I think we’ve solved where Twilight and the girls are.” said Applejack dryly.

After a minute or two the Crusaders and I were dug out of large snow pile and I came face to face with a stallion larger than Big Mac but still smaller than Princess Celestia; and he had a fairly stern face on.

“So you’re the so called “human” that saved my little Applebloom and her friends from the fire.” He stared at me while talking; and I had the feeling that I knew who he was, but the slight trauma I had from sledding off a cliff and crashing into the palace had really obscured my memory.

“Um yes sir?” I said putting on a shaky smile.

He stared at me for a couple of seconds before breaking out into a wide smile. “Well I guess I owe you a thank you then don’t I son?” he said before he draped a leg over me. “Nice to meet you I’m Applebloom’s father Jonagold Apple and this is my wife Gala Apple.” He pointed to a mare who wasn’t as nearly as large as him.

“It’s nice to meet you Dan and I guess I owe a thank you two for helping our family the way you did.

“Well Mr. and Mrs. Apple thank you and it’s nice meeting you but I have to ask the question; if your kids run the farm what are you guys doing? My knowledge of your world never covers that.”

“Oh that’s easy to answer dear.” Gala answered me while the other headed to the table. “My special talent is learning to grow things in unsuitable habitats. I go around the world helping people try to grow crops in areas like hot deserts or icy tundra’s.”

“While I…” her husband said waling up beside her. “Since I was young I realized that I was a bit stronger than most ponies; so I signed up to be in the guard; it was actually how I met my wife; I was on palace duty when she came in with a group of scientist types trying to get a royal grant for their hazardous growing experiments. We met by accident when she got lost after trying to find her way back from the mare’s restroom; I thought she was so beautiful that I asked her out right there. She didn’t answer right then as much as she just…ran away; but later she found me and said yes; and the rest is history.”

“Wow that is awesome I never would of thought of that.” I said to the pair as we took our seats at the table. It was a nice brunch everything; besides Applejack’s parents I got to have some nice conversations with Rarity’s, Fluttershy’s, Pinkie’s, and Rainbow Dash’s parents. After the brunch came the usual time of Hearthswarming where everyone would exchange gifts. Everyone headed back to their respective room where we gathered what we had brought. Twilight and I much to her brother’s chagrin were sharing a room.

“So it seemed like you had an eventful morning.” she said to me as we got back to our room.”

“Nice to know you’re picking up sarcasm better than you were a couple weeks ago. And yes I did; and due to the number of checklists I saw I guess you had a good morning as well?”

“That’s true enough.” She said as she charged up some magic and used the spell she had made to turn her self part human. “So how do you think that everyone will handle my little “change”?” she asked.

“Well as long as you put on clothes I don’t think they’ll have a problem…except for your brother.”

“Why do you say that?” she looked quizzically at me while putting some clothes on she had made secretly from Rarity. She was the only other pony who knew about the spell Twilight had made.

“Because he’s so protective of his “little” sister; and who knows if he’s ready to acknowledge the point where her sister has a special somepony. Especially if that somepony or someone is a being who knows how to get on his nerves cause he will walk into every punch line there is.”

“Dan I thought I told you to be nice during the holidays?” she chided me.

“I will Twilight; for you; but I am going to let my gift speak for itself…you are sure that it was ok that I didn’t get a gift for everyone?”

“Oh yes; since your new and don’t have good access to funds I’m sure they’ll be fine with whatever you can give.

“Ok then I guess it’s time to face the music.” I said holding my arm out so Twilight could intertwine it with hers. We walked out of our room and back to the area where the enormous tree was set up. The reaction Twilight got was pretty much positive all around. After the comments came we all sat down to give our gifts.

Everyone took turns giving their gifts out; and everyone seemed to get something. I sat there enjoying the scene before a group of ponies stood in front of me.

“No don’t ya think we forgot about you Dan?” Applejack said as she pushed a present in front of me that was oddly hat shaped. It turns out that Applejack had got me a brand new Stetson hat; honestly I loved it I had always wanted one.

“And this one if from Pinkie and I” Rainbow Dash said as she tossed me a cylindrical shaped present. I unwrapped it to find a can that said “Reusable Lightning in a Can: For the Prankster on the Go!!!”. “Quick hint…” Rainbow whispered to me. “Do not use it indoors.”

Fluttershy was next and she gave me some toys to give to Titanus so that I could pay with him. I gave her a hug which seemed to comfort her in her little moment of embarrassing herself.

“Ok Darling I hope your ready to look fabulous because her is my gift to you. She handed me a box; and inside was a suit like the costume I wore on Nightmare Night but in this suit I didn’t have to have illusions make me look like a skeleton.

“Thanks Rarity this is awesome; I’m sure I’ll look very handsome in it too.” From behind me while I was checking out the suit I swore I heard Rainbow Dash say “Heh swag.” But I wasn’t to sure.

And last but not least Twilight strode up to me and handed me something that seemed to be a picture frame. Upon opening I noticed I was right about the frame but wrong about what was in it; and here I was thinking my marefriend was not good at practical joke gifts. I started laughing which made everyone look at me.

“Hey Dan what’s so funny about my sister’s gift to you?” Shining said being a little protective.

“Oh sorry I guess I should read this. Ahem…The holder of this certificate after being studied by a professional can now be clearly said to legally be Morally, Ethically, Spiritually, Positively Absolutely Undeniably Insane. And this is only said after an examination which that the holder is really most sincerely insane.” I could barely get the ending of that said without laughing a bit. And I wasn’t the only one who was holding back laughter either; looking around the room everyone was trying not to laugh.

“Honestly Twilight this is probably the most thoughtful and funniest gift I have ever gotten.”

“Well then I guess you don’t want this one maybe?” I looked to see she had changed back to her pony form and on her back; like I had described it to her days ago was a back Gibson SG guitar.

“Oh my…” those were literally the only words I could say; other than that I was speechless. I started to reach out for it but then remembered something.

“Ok wait now before I start messing out with my guitar and give Twilight all the love and affection in the world; how about I hand out the presents I have.”

“Oh dear you didn’t have to get us anything will all the brave acts you’ve done for us.”

“Your mouth says that but your eyes say something else.”

“Oh you know me to well…so what did you get us?” she asked knowing that I had her figured out this time.

“I went over to the tree and pulled out the giant sack that I had hidden. I pulled out on package and gave it to Rarity.

“Since we always are battling our wits against each other I figured this would be a nice touch.” She unwrapped it to find a chess set I had carved out of wood.

“Oh Dan this is lovely; and so well made to. Very well then I will see you on the battle field.” She said with a dramatic flourish.

I pulled out two boxes and handed them to Shining and Cadence who were surprised.

“Oh Dan that’s sweet you shouldn’t have.” Cadence said opening hers first.

“These are T-shirts; I wear them all the time and with Rarity’s help I had these two made especially for you two.” I said to Cadence as she pulled her out of the box. The room burst into laughter as they got a glimpse of her shirt; even the princesses were laughing.

“What’s so funny?” Shining said as his wife used her magic to move the shirt so they could both see what was on it. On the front of the shirt in big writing was the message “I’m With Stupid” and underneath it was an arrow which in this case pointed to Shining. The laughing continued as Shining sat there dumbstruck for a minute before he was able to speak again.

“Ok so you got Cadence that and let me guess my shirt says the same thing except with an arrow pointing to here huh?” he said as he magicked his shirt out of the box for everyone to see; except in stead of his prediction his shirt simply read “I’m Stupid”.

I think everyone was literally out of breath by the time they finished laughing; Shining had taken up the position of being a sad blob on the floor. Knowing that Twilight would give me a lecture for that I reached into the bag and pulled out something else and put it in front of Shining.

“What’s this another joke?”

“No that’s you real gift no open it you big baby.”

Carefully Shining un wrapped it until he was left with a box. He just stared at it for a minute before he opened it to find a new set of poker chips. “Poker chips? What are these for?”

“Read the note on top.” I answered to him.

“He picked it up and read aloud the message I left for him. “Dear Shining; sorry for being a as Pinkie Pie would call it “A big meanie pants” so these are to make up for it; also the rule is that the owner of a brand new set of poker chips has to host the first poker night at his place; no exceptions…oh so that’s what you mean…I guess; apology accepted then.” He said to me to which I replied with a simple nod.

I passed around a couple more gift before I came to the princesses. “Now don’t think I forgot about you two. The first is for Luna.” I said pulling out a rather large rectangle and letting her catch it in her magic. “This is my favorite painting ever and it took me awhile to recreate it an hopefully you like it Luna.” She tore of the wrapping paper and looked at the painting in awe for a couple minutes before she spoke any words.

“Dan this….this is simply beautiful…I…I don’t know what to say…thank you I am going to go hang this in my room right now.” And with that she teleported out of the room before anyone could see that she was crying in happiness a bit.

“Well if you did that to Luna I can’t wait to see how extravagant my gift is.” Celestia joked.

I reached back into the bag and pulled out an envelope and hand it to the princess who looked at me weirdly as I sat down in Luna’s spot. She slowly opened it and pulled out the card. It was a hand made card where on the front I had drawn two things. One: an Alicorn to represent her, and two: a human to represent me. And on the card as well was a speech bubble coming from the Alicorn which said “What!?! I let you live in my magical peaceful land, date my precious student, and be my friend all this time and all you got me for Hearthswarming was this crummy homemade card?” and under it was a smaller bubble coming from the human saying “just open it…” She chuckled at the humor I put into the card and opened it. The inside was a lot simpler it just stated

“I know that you gave a lot on your plate so my gift to your is a little less material and a bit more sentimental. Whenever you want you can call me here and just use me…as a way to vent out your frustrations and things like that…what did you think I meant? Although you will be asked to provide snacks.

Sincerely your friend;


Celestia read that over for a bit while thinking while I prepared my next and probably biggest present. I was about ready when she laid a hoof on my shoulder and softly with the warmth of the sun said “Thank you Dan it is a fantastic present.”

“Your welcome…just don’t make it to….slumber party-ish.”

“I’ll try not to.” She said before I turned to Twilight.

“And that leaves you for last dear.”

“I feel like I should be kind of scared…”

“Don’t worry this is just a straight up gift; no jokes or anything, no close your eyes.”

“…Ok?” she said as she closed he eyes; Once she did I started to grab and set up her multi piece gift up right in front of her.

“Alright you can open them now” upon doing so she was greeted by the sight of ten new books.

“BOOKS!!! OH THANK YOU!!!” she said jumping on me and knocking me down.

“Hey you should see what they are about first.”

“Oh right.” She said picking one of them up with her magic.

“The complete history, biology, and other topics of humans???”

“It took me awhile and some help from a friendly lyrist but I finally put them together.”

“And the filled ten books?”

“Actually it was only nine books worth of stuff; the tenth is a little something else.”

“Huh?” she said picking up the tenth book a levitating it over. Upon opening it she found a necklace with jewels in the same shape and color of her cutie mark going across it.

“Dan…this is…beautiful. Thank you.” She said before giving me a kiss.

“And would you believe that I still have something left to give to the group? If all you mares and stallions would follow me out side.” I said walking out of the room. Everyone followed me to just to the palace gates where a stage had been set up and some familiar faces could be seen.

“Hey Vinyl, Octavia are we all set up?”

“Yes and honestly I think it would have been easier if we didn’t need all the lights!!!” Vinyl yelled at me in her trademark fashion.

“Dan may I ask what exactly this is?” Octavia from her place on stage asked.

“An idea someone where I came from thought up of to bring rock and classical music together.”

“And does it really require all theses lights?”

“Just wait and see…oh crap I almost forgot. Twilight I need my…guitar.” I said turning around to see that Twilight had already gotten my guitar for me.

“Knock em dead.”

“Don’t I always?” I said turning to the group who had found their way to a seating area facing the castle. “Now mare and stallions I always find that it is quite nice to close a holiday night like this with a little music. This first song is called

I and the other musicians that Octavia had gathered started to play. And as we did the light moved with our playing it was something nice to watch for the ponies I had prepared it for. When I could steal a glance I could see the even the princesses were staring at their castle lighting up; like a child would it was nice to know that I could just help someone be happy during the holidays.

The song ended with a big crescendo and we heard applause not only from the group but also from ponies that were forming a crowd outside the gate to watch the spectacle we had just put on.

“Ok then time to address the crowd I guess.” I said walking up to a microphone. “Um merry Hearthswarming everyone; this was just intended to be a gift to my friends and their families but I don’t see a problem sharing it with you as well. But being as it is kinda late we have tome for one more. This song is called

I said before starting to play again.

Later that night…

The music had gone off without any problems and everyone enjoyed it including Vinyl and Octavia who afterward went off together to celebrate. And now I was going to get some rest after a great holiday. I opened the door to the bedroom me and Twilight were staying in.

“Hey Mr. Rockstar.” said Twilight from the bed where she was already reading through one of the books I made for her.

“I guess that means you liked the show?”

“I don’t think there was anyone who didn’t like that show. Oh by the way I’ve been looking at the traditions of a holiday like this back from your home.” She said getting off the bed and walking towards me.

“Yeah; Christmas; what about it?”

“There was one tradition that I did find kind of…cute.”

“Which one” I couldn’t tell where she was going. She gave a small giggle and pointed above me. I looked up at the doorway to find a sprig of mistletoe hanging above me.

“I don’t think I have ever had a problem with that tradition.” I said chuckling as I knelt down and kissed her.

Afterwards she looked at me and said “Merry Christmas Dan.”

And I returned “Merry Hearthswarming Twilight.

Chapter 16: Are you still looking over my shoulder; making sure everything is ok?

View Online

Chapter 16: Are you still looking over my shoulder; making sure everything is ok?

Winter had come and gone in Equestria and I had to say that besides the cold everything about it was awesome. The funnies part for me was that I started to grow a beard and everyone thought I was either getting some kind of disease or turning into a monster. It took me forever to convince not only the princesses, but Shining Armor and a small contingent of guards, a team of doctor in pony hazmat suits, and Twilight that I was able to grow hair on my face. Luckily I was able to bring up the fact that other ponies have beards as well; reminding Twilight about Starswirl was the only reason I got to sleep in the bed that night.

Winter Wrap up was also fun. Although I somehow managed to skip the entire singing portion of the work and was just there for the normal parts. For the whole thing though I was in charge of shoveling duty because of my two appendages.

But now spring was here and it was finally time to get back outside and start having fun. I woke up finding that Twilight as usual had already gotten up. I stretched my arms for bit before scratching my beard; I decided that since the weather was warmer now I had no use for it; time to have a shave. It was a bit clumsy at first since the mirror in the bathroom was at the height for a pony; but I managed to get it all off without any major cuts or blood loss.

Walking downstairs I say Twilight curled up with a book while having some breakfast.

“Honestly that is an adorable sight that never gets old.”

“Oh hey your up I was wondering how long it would take…” she paused after finally looking up at me from her book. “You…shaved?”

“Yeah I thought it was time that I whoa!” I started to say but was jumped on by Twilight who then continuously nuzzled my face.

“Oh you have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to do this.” She said while repeating the cat like action; I didn’t mind her fur was soft and warm.

“You could have done it when I had a beard you know?”

“Yeah but your beard was scratchy and annoying.”

“You didn’t like my beard?” I felt just a little hurt.

“Well I liked that you liked it…and that it wasn’t in any way dangerous.” A flashback of a bunch of needles held in her magic telekinesis played over in my mind. “But it wasn’t exactly easy to cuddle with it. I think we should just stick to me being the one covered with hair ok?”

“And if I grow another one and don’t shave it off?”

“Well you like it when I am all adorable and cute right?” I could see the blackmail coming a mile away so I just gave a curt nod and hung my head in defeat.

“Glad you could see the “bright side” Dan. So what are you going to do today?”

“Well for now I think I’m gonna go for a jog. Have you seen Titanus?”

“I think he’s sleeping in the basement? You know for an ancient dinosaur that has already slept for a couple thousand years he enjoys sleeping as much as Spike and Rainbow Dash.” Said my marefriend as she resumed reading after she gave me the business.

I walked over to the basement door and opened it expecting to get run over…just in case. “Hey Titanus wanna go for a walk boy?” I said to the dim darkness and the shadow that I assumed was my pet. After a couple of seconds the shadow moved and a head on a very long neck reached out of the darkness to greet me. After getting licked in the face by a brachiosaurus tongue I turned and headed for the door.

It was a nice spring say in Ponyville. Sun shining, birds singing and all that jazz. And with everything that has gone on in Ponyville no one felt weird that a human and his pet dinosaur were going for a jog; and also that a human needed to jog. I may have been slightly more in shape then I was when I first arrived; but still was a bit outmatched in some categories by ponies. I kept jogging all the way to the middle of town and was content to go farther when some voices stopped me.

“Well it looks like someone is getting some exercise finally.”


“Huh Twilight was right I guess he does actually look cuter without all the face fuzz.”

I turned to find Applejack, Big Mac, and Rose who were at their stands which happened to be right next to each other.

“Oh HA HA. The human getting some exercise and it turns out he shaved how funny; let’s all laugh at the human.” I said coming to a stop with Titanus right behind me.

“Oh well since you gave us permission I guess we can keep going.” Rose shot back at me.”

“You’re getting a lot better at the whole sarcasm thing.” I said raising an eyebrow at the mare as she searched for something in her booth.

“Well I had an ok teacher…ah here it is” she came out from underneath her booth with a nice sized medium fern. She walked over to Titanus who lowered his head so she could pet him with her hoof.

“Hey there Tity Whitey how’s my big dinosaur today? Would you like a nice fern?”

Her answer was a tongue to the face; to which she giggled before Titanus started eating. I watched them for a bit before Applejack said something to me.

“Well it looks like your pet dinosaur is doing pretty well; and it’s not like anypony in town really minds him.”

“Probably because he was smaller than when we first found him and because he isn’t the type of dinosaur that won’t eat things like you and me. And the kids seem to really like him to. Oh and speak of the devils.” I said catching three little blurs out of the corner of my eye.

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADER DINOSAUR CLIMBERS YEAH!!!” the shouted as they jumped and started climbing all over my brachiosaurus.

“Girls!” Applejack was about to start saying something.

“It’s ok Applejack he’s a lot heavier than pretty much any pony so with the girl’s weight and their little hooves; it’s pretty much like he’s getting a back massage.” I told her.

“Oh…well I guess that’s alright then.”

“Ah I almost forgot he learned a new trick too. Girls get down from there I’m gonna show you something cool.” Applebloom and Sweetie Belle hopped down quickly; but Scootaloo who was on top of Titanus’s head did something I didn’t expect. She jumped up landed on her back two hooves and slid down from the head to the tail of my dinosaur

“YABBA DABBA DO!!!” she cheered as she ended with a flip of the end of his tail.

“Nice one squirt. I give it a nine point five out of ten.”

Thanks Dan; now what did you want to show us?” Scootaloo said as she joined in line with her friends.

“One second.” I said turning to Applejack. “My I have an apple please?” I said.

“Three bits.” She replied. I reached into the pocket of the shorts I was wearing and pulled out the coins which I traded for the apple.

“Can’t blame you AJ; knowing what’s about to happen.” I said getting a firm grip on the apple. I flung my arm upwards and threw the apple as high as I could.

“Titanus pull!” I said to the dinosaur as the other looked at me. Within a second or two long tubes magically flipped out of Titanus and hung over his shoulders aiming upwards. After looking he looked at the apple flying upwards the hole on the end of the tubes on Titanus’s shoulders began to glow. And then with a sound like Pinkie’s party cannon a blast of light launched out of the tubes up into the air hit the apple and exploded in cascade of bright colors.

I looked down to see that everypony around me as well as anypony in the part of town we were in had their jaws literally on the floor; mostly cause them were in the duck on cover position.

“Yeah it looks like my favorite dinosaur is packing some magical artillery. From what Twilight and I have discovered I only harmful if you get him angry at you; otherwise it’s just basically fireworks.” I said but looking around I saw that everyone was still dumbstruck. “Really now?” I sighed.

“Oranges are better than apples.” I shouted hoping that it would have the intended affect.

“NO THEY AREN’T” was the shout that came at me from a trio of siblings.

“Good; that was enough to bring you out of shock.”

“Oh sorry bout that Dan I think that nobody expected your dinosaur to make a big boom like that.” Applejack apologized.

“At least it’s not worse than finding out about it when it happens inside.”

“Is that why Twilight seemed a bit miffed that one time we came over?”

“Yeah.” I was about to say more when the Crusaders interrupted me.

“Dan that was so awesome with the cannons and the lasers and explosion!” Scootaloo being the more action oriented of the group started off with.

“Yeah and they explosions were so pretty I bet if Rarity saw that; then she would try to make some kind of fashion line like it.” Sweetie Belle was next.

“Yeah and it was loud too I bet if you wanted you could pass it off as a fireworks display for the town or something.” Applebloom suggested.

“Now now just hold on girls you know we got a fireworks thing set up for when the summer starts. I mean heck it’s only March second; you just gotta have a bit of patience.

I agreed with Applejack and I was pleased to know that nobody thought that my Dinosaur had shoulder mounted magical laser cannons…wait what was the date she mentioned?

“Applejack what did you say the date was?”

“Oh it’s March second Sugarcube; why got a date tonight?” she said giving me an elbow in the leg.

March 2nd, the date played over and over in my head for some reason as if I was trying to remember something but yet suppressing it. And then like a brick to the head; it hit me.

“Dan are you ok?” I snapped my head and shocked Applebloom who had asked me the question.

“What? Oh yeah I’m fine…hey I just remembered something I got to do; Applebloom do you think you and the girls could watch after Titanus for me?”

“REALLY!?!?!” the girls squeaked in unison.

“Dan are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“Yeah sure what could go wrong; ok thanks bye!” I said turning around and bolting suddenly back towards the library.

“Well that was kinda weird don’t cha think Big Mac?”


“Well I’m gonna make sure the girls don’t do anything to dangerous. You okay watchin the booth Mac?”



“Uh oh looks like that’s my queue; see ya later Mac…GIRLS SLOW DOWN!!!” said Applejack running after the three fillies riding on the back of a large dinosaur.

Outside the library…

My mind had been racing as I ran back; how could I have forgotten a day like this; I guess being here and being more relaxed than usual had put me a little off… and today was looking to be so happy too. I stopped outside the door to calm myself so Twilight wouldn’t worry about how I might have acted.

As calmly as I could I opened the door and went inside. Twilight was still in the position she was when I left; although the amount of books next to her had grown.

“Hey Twilight I’m back.”

“Oh hey… Where’s Titanus?” she said looking up and noticing that it was just me.

“I left him with the crusaders for a bit; I think they really like his cannons.”

“Are you sure that was a safe idea?” I could see the worry on her face from hearing the words “crusaders” and “cannons” in the same sentence.

“Oh Applejack is with them so it’ll be fine; I’m just stopping back to grab something anyway.” I said going down to the basement and grabbing what I would need.

“I’ll be back later Twi…also make sure you get up and stretch every once and awhile ok?” I said giving her a quick kiss on the head.

“Yes mom?” she said sarcastically back at me; I laughed as I closed the door.

A few hours later…

“Now I’m not saying that it wouldn’t be a bad idea girls; but it’s just not the right time.” Applejack said walking the crusaders and a dinosaur towards her friend’s library.

“Well what is the right time Applejack?” Applebloom asked her sister.

“The time to see how powerful Titanus’s cannons are is when something is coming to attack us not in the middle of a peaceful day like this…and don’t think that gives you permission to go looking for trouble either!”

“Yes Applejack.” The girls said in unison as they got to the library and found that Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie were there as well.

“Hey Applejack about time you showed up.”

“Yeah yeah Rainbow; I’d like to see how fast you’d be going if you had to take care of three fillies and a giant dinosaur.”

“Wait Dan wasn’t with you?” Twilight interrupted the two friend’s little friendly argument.

“No I haven’t seen him since he bugged out a little and then left me to watch the girls and the big guy.” She said pointing to the dinosaur that made his way back to the basement to rest.

“That’s weird I thought that he would come back with you. Nobody else here has seen him the whole entire day; even Pinkie Pie.” Twilight sounded a little worried.

“Yeah it’s true I haven’t seen any part of him around town all day.” said the pony bouncing around the room and yet still showing some worry on her face.

“Oh my well if Pinkie hasn’t seen him then I think we can skip all the other stages and go straight to the “something is obviously wrong and we should call in reinforcements” stage; don’t you thinks so dear?” Rarity said looking towards Twilight.

“…What do you think Fluttershy?” Twilight asked her introverted friend.

“I… I think that if he accidently went into the Everfree Forest that something could have happened to him…I think.” She said with all the confidence she had for the moment.

“Ok girls I guess it’s time to call in the heavy artillery then.” Twilight said walking over to her desk and then wrote a quick note which she handed it to Spike who teleported it. The girls were mystified for a minute as to what Twilight was doing; but it all became much clearer when there was a bright flash and then the princesses as well as Shining Armor and Cadence were standing in the library.

“Twilight.” Her mentor began sharing a quick nuzzle. “Can you tell us what has happened to Dan?”

“Well princess he went out for some exercise with Titanus earlier today and that’s when he met up with Applejack.” Twilight pointed to her orange friend who then continued the rest of the story. It wasn’t very long but after a couple of minutes everyone was caught up on what had already happened.

“Alright then my little ponies I suggest we spread out in groups. Spike you can come with my sister and I and Twilight you can go with Cadence and your brother; that way incase we need to send messages we will be all set.” Celestia declared and as quick as they had gathered at the library everyone left in search for their favorite human.

Twilight, Cadence, and Shining Armor choose to go more towards the woods in hope that Dan had went to some place with more solitude than the town or the Everfree Forest.

“Why do you think he just disappeared Twilight?” Cadence asked trying to console her sister-in-law.

“I…don’t know I never really asked him if anything was bothering him; he seemed a bit off but no more than usual.

“Maybe he’s cheating on you.” Shining said emotionlessly staring straight ahead as he walked ahead.

“SHINING!” his wife yelled at him as Twilight almost fell over from hearing our brother’s words.

“Hey I don’t like the implication either; but we have to be ready for any circumstances though. Right Twily?” he said looking at his sister.

“Your right Shining I guess…did you guys hear that?” she said stopping and with her they also stopped. They stood still for a minute before they heard the sound of something hitting stone. Slowly and quietly they made their way towards the sound. They got really close to where the sound was coming from and found some bushes to hide in. On the other side of those bushes was the human that they had been looking for. He had a hammer and a chisel with him and was working on something that they couldn’t see from their perspective.

“What do you think he’s doing?” Cadence was the first to speak in a low whisper.

“I’m not sure but I think we should message Princess Celestia and the others to tell them that we found Dan.” Shining said.

Twilight maneuvered some parchment and a quill out of the bags she brought and wrote a couple of notes. She passed them to her sister-in-law who teleported them to everyone else. Within a couple of minutes the group had gathered and was secretly watching Dan from their hiding place.

“Well princess we found Dan now what do we do?” Twilight asked her mentor who had been watching Dan the whole time; never taking her eyes of him.

“Well maybe we should wait to see if he finishes what he is working on. And then you can go ask him Twilight.” She said after taking a moment to think.

A few minutes later Dan stopped working on whatever it was he was doing and in exhaustion he sat down to catch his breath. He sat there for awhile before he finally said something.

“Hey…it’s been awhile…I’ve missed you.”

To Twilight these words did nothing but conjure up plenty of fears. She didn’t know if he was going crazy or talking to somepony else or another mare. Without anypony but the princesses noticing she started creeping closer

“It’s been a long time since we talked like this. Let’s just say things are…different.”

“Dan?” Twilight said her voice low and scared. She was still a bit scared when he turned so quickly to look at her.

“Twilight what are you doing here?”

“I should ask you the same question Dan. Nobody knows where you went; you were gone for awhile; and now I find you out here talking to whatever; and I don’t know if it’s another pony or another mare or…or.”

“Twilight slow down. Sorry I didn’t realize I was gone for so long. As for the talking well… I was talking to this I guess…” he said gesturing his hand in front of him.

Twilight looked to where he was pointing to find a stone; It was smooth on the top of it the was sticking out of the ground at an angle. Dan had taken the chisel to it and had written something into the stone itself.

“Marie G Blanken…grandmother…William Blanken….grandfather…Dan; what is this?” Twilight was very confused.

“Well before I explain I think it would be better if everyone came out.” He said to the surrounding area; slowly the whole group came out and gathered around Dan and the rock.

“I don’t think I was even going to remember it until Applejack said the date. I’ve been here so long I forgot almost forgot about events from my home. And as to answer you question your question Twilight; the names of the two people are my grand parents.” There was a gasp or two as Dan gave them the information.

“March second was the day that my grandmother passed away. And a couple of months after that my grandfather followed her. It was the hardest time of my life and there were so many times I just wanted to lose all hope and sanity. It was also around the time I found your show. But every year though I always try to visit their grave and talk with them; even if they can’t talk back.” He said while he kept staring at the rock. The thing that broke his concentration was the soft feeling of hooves moving around his neck and Twilight giving him a hug.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” she asked.

“I just got so wrapped up with everything that I completely forgot everyone else. All I kept thinking about was them; and everything that happened afterwards…and how my life slowly went in a downwards spiral…until a little miracle happened.

“What happened?” twilight said; she looked like she was about to cry.

“During my grandmothers funeral; on my way to the graveyard I listened to the radio; hoping it would cheer me up a bit and by chance my favorite song happened to play; and then fast forward to my grandfathers funeral right before I’m about to leave the graveyard in my car the song starts playing again on the radio. I know it may not seem like much; but for me then when I was standing on the edge of that mental cliff I took it as a sign that everything was bad. And heck; soon after that I found your show and I began to brighten up a bit.” I said looking into Twilights eyes before I gave her a kiss on her forehead. Nobody besides Twilight and I had said anything; they simply encircled us listening to everything I had to say.

Twilight and I just sat still for awhile before either one of us said anything. She was the first to break the silence.

“Can you sing it for me…the song you heard those times?”

“Heh I don’t think I can ever say no to you…” I said before taking a breath and remembering the lyrics I sang to myself for a long time to make myself feel better.

Hey Jude, don't make it bad.
Take a sad song and make it better.
Remember to let her into your heart,
Then you can start to make it better.

I remembered all the good times I had with my grandparents; from being a kid to being an adult. I felt emotions I hadn’t thought about since coming to Equestria bubble up inside.

Hey jude, don't be afraid.
You were made to go out and get her.
The minute you let her under your skin,
Then you begin to make it better.

The sadness that plagued me; that threatened to bring me down at any moment; and that for awhile affected my life and made me feel alone.

And anytime you feel the pain, hey jude, refrain,
Don't carry the world upon your shoulders.
For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder.

But in this case I wasn’t alone. I finally had a girlfriend; and she really cared for me. And I was also surrounded by a great group of friends that I had made including two goddesses. And as it turns out that now they were singing with me.

Hey jude, don't let me down.
You have found her, now go and get her.
Remember to let her into your heart,
Then you can start to make it better.

Now I could act like I have always wanted to act; they knew enough about me to know how I really felt in this situation. And instead of trying to act calm like I did all two years ago; I simply broke down and cried while singing. Just letting everything come out because now I had ponies who would help me at every turn because that was what they did.

So let it out and let it in, hey jude, begin,
Youre waiting for someone to perform with.
And don't you know that it's just you, hey jude, you'll do,
The movement you need is on your shoulder.

They helped me just like I had and would help them.

Hey jude, don't make it bad.
Take a sad song and make it better.
Remember to let her under your skin,
Then you'll begin to make it
Better better better better better better, oh.

Na na na na na ,na na na, hey jude...

I belted out the rest of the song like I knew how it should be done. And afterwards there was a giant hug; plus a bunch of smaller hugs and consolations from singular ponies. Princess Celestia and Princess Luna took some time before we left to do a better job with their magic than I had a chisel; they even took the picture I had of my grandparents in my wallet and engraved its liking in the stone; as well as magically grow their favorite flowers around the marker.

Later that night I sat in bed thinking about a lot of things. The thing to break me out of my thinking was Twilight walking into the room; I say walking because she was in her human transformation.

“What’s’ with the magic?” I asked

“Oh I just thought I try something tonight” she said back playing with her silk pjs that Rarity had given her; making sure they were flat and non-wrinkled.

“Oh and what is that?” I was still curious.

“Lie down and find out.” She teased. I complied and lied on my back. She in turn also got into bed and instead she wrapped what she could of her arms around me.

“I thought that tonight you should be the one to find out what it’s like to constantly like to be hugged in your sleep.” She smiled at me before turning the lights off magically. I think I could tell what she was trying to mean with this; and it warmed my heart to think that she cared enough.

“Thanks Twilight…”

“Your welcome Dan; goodnight.”

Chapter 17: I wanna talk about it just…not now…before alcohol.

View Online

Chapter 17: I wanna talk about it just…not now…before alcohol.

The five friends were hanging out in town when they heard about it. The news trickled down the grapevine pretty. They were having a pleasant day when Lyra came running to them and told them of the development that ponies could hear coming from the library. Without a second thought the five bolted from their spots and headed to the library. By the time they got there the setting had quieted down from what they had been told.

Rarity was the first one to go to the door and slowly open it. She peeked inside hoping that nothing was too wrong and there she and the girls could help fix whatever had transpired. To her surprise nothing was wrong with the library. It was some what darker than it normally should be for this time in the day. Cautiously Rarity entered the library. She couldn’t see anyone for awhile and jumped slightly when she heard a whisper call her name.

“Pssst Rarity over here!!!” she turned her head to see Spike poking his head out from the kitchen and waving her over. She slowly crept to the kitchen hoping not to disturb anything or anypony.

“Spike what’s going on?” she asked in a hushed voice.

“All I know is that I was relaxing with Titanus in the basement and then the volume got really loud. I knew that both of them were yelling; it lasted for a couple of minutes then quieted down. And the last thing I heard before I made my way up here was the sound of the door closing.”

“Oh thank you for the info Spike; now where is Twilight exactly?”

“Well right as I was coming out of the basement I saw her come in here and grab something and then she just headed into the main room and that’s where she’s been up until now…I’m kinda to scared to go in there.” He admitted shyly.

“Oh it perfectly alright Spikey Wikey I think after what may have happened that practically anypony would have been scared; but we are here now and we are going to get to the bottom of this.” She said turning around and quietly waved her friends in.

Everyone managed to sneak in quietly and soon everyone was looking out of one exit of the kitchen at the place where Twilight was sitting. The scene seemed normal enough; Twilight sat in the middle of the room where the light was just so and was reading a book; everything looked like it would on any other day but the mood of the whole room just seemed off.

Rarity; again being the one who knew the most about things like relationships; was the first to move towards her friend. Slowly with trepidation she regarded her friend. Twilight’s hair looked fine from a distance; but with the fashionista’s keen eye for detail she could see that her friend’s mane had been tussled. She could also make note of what appeared to be wet spot on he wood floor. Had Twilight been crying? What could have happened between her and Dan that would have done this? And where was Dan exactly as well?

“Uh Twilight?” the alabaster mare said as she came within a few feet of her friend who hadn’t really moved since she had laid eyes on here. With a speed that only previously Pinkie Pie could pull off Twilight turned her head took look at her friend. Her face was in shock and surprise first but quickly changed to a smile.

“Oh Rarity so good to see you!” Twilight said a bit louder than she normally talked; this was a sign to Rarity that something was off about her friend. The second was seeing Twilight having trouble get up and also wobbling around a bit as she stood.

“So what’s up Rarity; what brings you to visit your good friend…me?” Twilight said gaining her balance and then preceding to walk towards her friend just a few feet away.

“Well Twilight me and the girls heard that something had happened here and we rushed over to make sure that you were alright…” Rarity started to tell her friend but was cut off by a sudden hug.

“Oh that’s so nice of you guys; but don’t worry everything is certainly fine and I’m fine.” She said giving Rarity a hug; and while she was Rarity caught a quick whiff of Twilight’s breathe and put that and her other hints together and quickly figured out what was different about Twilight.

“Twilight…have you been…drinking?” Rarity said as she took a step back from her friend and as her friends took a step forward.

“Oh just a little bit…I think…” Twilight moved over to one side of one of the chairs and pushed some bottles into view of everypony else. She had drunk more than a few.

“Holy Moly our little egghead is drunk; this is kinda awesome. And she’s much looser than normal I think we should go out for a drink with her she’s more fun this way.”

“Rainbow Dash this is not a “fun” situation we are in to be making jokes like that! Twilight may have just had a fight with Dan; who may I mention is not here at the moment and as Twilight’s and Dan’s friends and surely there…” Rarity stopped talking as the atmosphere of the room changed once again.

Apparently saying the name “Dan” was the trigger word that started it. Everypony in the room felt it. The light seemed to get sucked out of the room. Everyone looked then looked to Twilight to see that her face had turned from drunken happiness to murderous rage.

“…dan…DAN!!! Why would you even mention he’s nothing but a…a big old good for nothing!!! That arrogant…stuck up…scruffy looking…NERF HERDER!!! I mean I try to be a good marefriend….and feelings….and all that jazz.” Twilight started yelling; after awhile she started missing some words in here sentences. It took her a couple of minutes to get it all out; and then she collapsed to the ground. Her friends tried to move over to her to help her but she got up quickly walked over to one of the chairs and pulled out a bottle from one of the sides that her friends hadn’t seen. She then popped of the top of the bottle and quickly downed it faster than here friends thought she would.

“Well it seems that she taking this rather well.” Rarity said.

“Uh Rarity what part of any of that screaming back there could be considered “well”?” Applejack asked.

“Well considering that all she was doing was yelling and not blasting magic all around us; or breaking anything, or the like; I think that so far this is going well.”

“Oh ok; then my next question is…where is D…” Applejack started to say but then remember the scene that just played out seconds ago when certain named was mentioned. “Where is “He” right now?”

“Well Applejack I think Twilight knows the answer to that but right now I believe she would not rather tell. Let’s just hope the “He” is safe and with somepony we would know.

Canterlot Palace…

Today had been a big day in the courts; all three princesses; Celestia, Luna, and Cadence were in attendance and had heard many petitioners. Unfortunately for Princess Celestia more f the reasonable petitioners; the ones that were more simple ponies who had smaller and frankly better requests went to Cadence. Apparently ponies seemed a little less frightened of her because of how her nature came across to them; Celestia thought it also had to do with how Cadence was also in closer to height with other ponies than she was. Luna was fine handling all the requests that dealt with math and things like that because she was the brains of the three.

But Celestia got stuck with all the request of the nobles. The ones that even at their best were ridiculous and only helped to keep the ego of whatever noble brought it up slightly higher. But at their worst; they were plans that would possibly ruin plenty of ponies’ lives if she allowed them; but the nobles never saw that. They were to busy thinking about their status.

After many petitions were met and in Celestia’s case; shot down, the three made their way from the throne room to one of the dining rooms for a well deserved lunch. Luna and Cadence chatted away happily behind the taller Alicorn; who had insisted that she just be allowed to walk in her own silence with her head held low to the ground.

Upon entering the room they noticed a couple of things. One was that their lunch was ready for them; and apparently the chefs had guessed that Princess Celestia had a particularly bad day because there was a good amount of dessert on the large table. The second was that Shining Armor had somehow managed to meet them. And the third thing was that there was also a bipedal creature wearing a hood that they knew who was also joining them along with a bag full of clothes and his guitar.

“Dan? What a nice surprise to see you.” Luna said not reading anything into the situation at hand.

“Oh does that mean Twilight is here; it would be nice to see her after today.” Said Cadence.

“I didn’t sense her magical energy so I do not think she is here.” Celestia said to Cadence as Shining Armor turned to them.

“Well your majesty that’s the thing; she isn’t here and I think some…” Shining started to say but was interrupted by the three Alicorns.

“Huh that’s strange she would never miss a chance to see us.” Cadence started.

“Yes that certainly is; Dan do you know why she isn’t here?” Luna asked the human as she started moving towards him.

“Yes Dan is there something you have to tell us?” Celestia’s followed the other two’s actions.

“Your majesty’s please.” Shining said to them; including his wife. He tried to give some context to the situation but they wouldn’t let him. They kept poking questions at Dan; wondering why he kept his hood up; head down, and voice unheard. It continued for a couple of minutes before Shining Finally had enough.

“ALRIGHT THAT’S ENOUGH!” he shouted surprising the Alicorns. He walked in between Dan and them to provide a barrier and also give him a place to speak where he would be heard.

“I’m sorry princesses but you should read the situation more; you can clearly see that Dan isn’t in a great mood; you shouldn’t be so brunt and straight forward asking your questions like that. Give him some space please.”

All of the princesses were shocked at what their Captain of the guard had said; despite the fact that the friendship between Shining and Dan was slightly better then tenuous because of all the joking and pranking. But for Shining to step up like that for Dan must mean something is serious.

“Your right Shining we should have been more thoughtful about Dan instead of acting like high school fillies.” Celestia apologized. Shining took it to heart; he gave a slight nod and back away slowly from between the two parties.

Celestia stayed silent for a moment thinking before she talked to Dan again; hoping he would answer this time.

“Dan did something happen in Ponyville?” She asked softly.

For the first time that day Dan finally moved and looked at them. “…nd…igh…d…ght…” he mumbled.

“What was that Dan we couldn’t hear?”

“me and……d a f…” he spoke slightly louder.

“Dan you’re still mumbling a bit.”

“TWILIGHT AND I GOT INTO A FIGHT OK!!!” Dan got angry and shouted almost loud enough to rival the Royal Canterlot Voice. He glared and the princesses for what seemed like an eternity before returning to the position the first found him in; with his head hung low.

“And that’s why I was trying to do this the easy way…” Shining said as he walked up to Dan and gave him a hug; which surprised the princesses slightly more than.

“Oh dear...this is serious isn’t it. Do you want to tell us what the fight was about Dan?”

“No not right now…when I fell better I will but just…not right now please.” The human said slowly shaking his head no as he did.

“the three princesses stood there for a minute; each trying to think of something to do; Luna was the first to ask. “Sister what do you think we should do?”

“I’m not sure Luna. It seems that he has completely left Ponyville; I guess he didn’t want to strain any relationships with anypony in the town so he even brought his stuff to get away. I have never been the best with relationships.”

“Actually princess; if you don’t mind I actually had a plan.” Three sets of eyes turned to look at Shining Armor who looked like he was about to have a moment of genius.

“Shining what are you thinking?” Cadence slowly asked her husband.

“Well remember what we did after our first fight Cady?” he said. Cadence eye slowly widened and a smile grew on her face.

“When you got all busy in your work and I stayed away for awhile?”


“Excuse me Cadence and Shining Armor; what does that exactly mean for Dan here?” Celestia asked the couple.

“Well Dan needs a way to work out his problems; but he can’t really be around Twilight or us all that much either; so I was thinking that starting today Dan temporally join the guard and train here with the soldiers. It’s a way we can keep an eye on him cause letting him wander around Equestria probably wouldn’t be a good idea nd we can’t just let him loaf around the palace.

“Hmmm I think it is a swell idea Shining Armor; although I will only go along with it as long as Dan agrees to it; right sister?” Luna said looking up to her.

“I agree Luna…what is your decision Dan?” she said. Dan stayed silent for awhile; he looked up at the ponies in the room took his hood off; and for the first time that day smiled.

“It’s the best idea I’ve heard so far.”

“Great that settles it; I’ll take you down to the barracks and get you set up; and while I’m doing that you all can have lunch and figure out how to help Twilight. Grab your stuff Dan I’ll lead you there.” And with that the Captain of the guard and Equestria’s first human left the three goddesses to their lunch. For a god time the princesses sat silently and ate peacefully; except for Celestia who somewhat noisily at her desserts. And then a thought cam to Princess Luna’s mind.

“Wait so we now have to take care of Twilight; who can sometimes really emotionally over react to things and Shining gets to take care of Dan who we all know has a great sense of humor to anything and can mellow out his feeling pretty quickly.” The other two princesses stared at her for a minute before the weight of her words sunk in completely.

“Well it seems like my husband is a bit cleverer than I gave him credit for…”

The barracks and training grounds for the royal guard were quite close to the castle; but still out of sight of the rest of Canterlot. It sat closer to the side of the mountain then the palace did and the grounds were well kept in military style. Along the single road that leads to and from the base one stallion and one human were walking. The stallion was giving the rundown about procedure and things to the human; and he was making sure to pay attention to him for once.

“Thanks Shining I really can’t tell you what this means for you helping me out like this.” I thanked the pony that had been the target of a couple of my jokes.

“Hey I know what fights are like in relationships; especially since my wife is the Alicorn of Love. And I know that after a fight like I think the one you had some distance will do you and Twily some good. Now like I was saying…Oh hey Jona!!!” Shining gave me some wisdom and then yelled at someone down farther on the path; I looked to find Applejack’s father waving at us.

“Ah captain…and Dan? Sir Permission to ask what is going on?” the large earth stallion asked.

“Well Jona; for certain reason Dan is now going to be joining the guard temporarily.”

“Ah girl troubles then?” Shining and I were both surprised that he had pegged it so fast. “I have two daughters, a wife, and a granny that’s wiser than most ponies; I can tell when it’s girl problems.”

“Well regardless of that Dan is here now and he is going to need to be placed.” Shining said.

“I got room in my squad for one more if you don’t mind captain; and if you would like to Dan?”

I looked him over for a minute; weighing out my options. I knew he was an Apple and that meant that the work was going to be hard; but during this time I didn’t really want to take the easy road and be left to think about things.

“I’ll take your offer on the Mr. Apple.” I said to him.

“Ah ah as of now private that lieutenant you hear?” he said smile still on his face.

It put a smile on mine as I responded “Sir yes sir, lieutenant.

“Alright then it’s settled; we’ll get you settled in tonight and tomorrow we’ll get you fitted for your own armor. Let’s head to your squads barracks lieutenant.” Shining said once I had agreed.

“Sounds good, we were getting ready for dinner so we can introduce you to everyone.” My new commanding officer said turning around. We walked for a little bit before we hit our building labeled “Alpha/Apple squad”. I didn’t even bother asking.

The two stallions step in first and I behind them. Seven other ponies were busy moving about and getting other things ready not noticing the two officers and me standing there in the doorway.

“ATTENTION!!!” shining shouted getting every pony’s attention. All of them stopped on a dime within a second and snapped to attention; three hooves planted on the ground and one raised to their forehead in salute.

“At ease soldiers” he said allowing the ponies in the room to relax a little. “I have an announcement to make. As of right now we have a new “special” kind of recruit who has just joined the guard and I am assigning him to your squad. Any questions?” he added the last bit on the end trying to provoke anypony in the room’ I could guess it was because no one had seen me yet and he wanted to gauge some reactions.

A hoof shot up quickly. “Sir!” I heard a feminine voice sound out. I teal pegasus moved forward into where I could see. “What’s so special about a new rookie that you’re willing to…” she started to ask as she turned to face her superiors; then she saw me towering over the officers and our eyes met. I saw surprise in her eyes as she looked at me. It was around this time that everypony else took notice of the mares stop and looked to see me. There was a lot less reaction then I thought there would be.

“Private Dan here…” Shining started; and I could tell that he was pleased to call me “private” “is going to be with us for awhile and has accepted Lieutenant Apple’s invitation to your squad. So treat him like you would any new solider.” I saw some faces light up with those words. “But don’t expect him to go down easy. He is the human you have read about in the news; the one that had the factory roof drop on him. And with that I’ll leave all of you to get along.”

Shining finished and turned to leave but not before giving me some advice. “Just think of it as when Princess Celestia sent Twilight to Ponyville; so make some friends and try not to do anything to stupid.”

“No promises Captain.”

“Knowing you that’s the best I could hope for.” He said taking his leave.

I turned around to find that Jonagold was gone and in front of me was the mare that had asked the question before as well as some other ponies I didn’t know yet. They started speaking first.

“Well I’m sorry for questioning how “special” you were; welcome to the Squad my name is Swift Gale, rank sergeant.” She reminded me of another pegasus I knew; her cutie mark was two crossed swords.

“Nice to meet you; the name is Dan.”

“Heh simpler than any other name here. I’ll introduce you to some of the other squad mates. Shadow Dancer, Scribble Page, Flintlock Spark get over here n the double and greet the new rookie!!!” She screamed to three pother ponies and immediately thee ponies dropped whatever they were doing and hurried over to meet me. I got some good looks at them before the stopped in front of me.

Shadow Dancer was a unicorn stallion completely black from horn to hoof and had the words “Semper Fi” written in red for his cutie mark. Scribble Page after a second glance because his hair was so long was a stallion who had a knick on one of his ears; probably from an accident; and had a scroll for a cutie mark. Flintlock Spark was another stallion who kinda looked like a mare but more for body tone than hair; his coat reminded me of people from the second Tron movie; his body was black but around the end of every limb was a bright neon bluish ring. His cutie mark was a fireball that looked like it was made from many things including some light blue dragon scales. But the weirdest thing about him was his tale; it took me some time going through old memories to figure out that he had a more classical unicorn tale which was more akin to a griffin or manticore tail in being one solid piece.

“If you can find something to like in these guys…” Swift Gale spoke up as the three approached “I think you’ll fit in here quite nicely.” She said smiling.

Chapter 18: New places and new faces…but it still hurts like a bitch…ow.

View Online

Chapter 18: New places and new faces…but it still hurts like a bitch…ow.

The rest of the night had been pretty swell as far as I was concerned. Like Ponyville the ponies that I was now in a squad with were pretty friendly. Swift Gale was friendly enough when she wasn’t barking orders; I'm guessing she was very tough since everypony obeyed those orders to a T. After getting some fist hand…hoof greeting from some of my new squad mates we all sat down for some dinner where I got to learning about the ponies that I would be spending some time with.

Scribble Page he was the energetic one of the group; always speaking in an energetic voice. It took awhile for him to get acclimated to me; but once he did it was worth it. He had a deeper voice than I thought he would; he told me that he liked to write and look over other people’s writing. His creative side was astounding coming close to Pinkie’s and my level. I questioned him about the little knick on his here and that was when Swift Gale suddenly did a spit take and however much of her drink she had was spewed across the barracks. It turns out that Scribble every once and awhile writes some stories and sends them out to competitions and publisher seeing if anything happens.

On one particular day he ran a bit late on the timing for the daily mail shipment. And as he was sprinting across the ground he happened to cross paths with Swift Gale. She was coming back from combat practice and was carrying so practice sword which were still quite sharp. Scribble didn’t even think to acknowledge her as he ran straight under her. In his pursuit of speed he didn’t notice that his hair and tail were flying upwards in the wind; and also how low his CO was flying. His hair then touched her underside and Scribble found out something about his sergeant that day; that she has a very ticklish stomach. It wasn’t the laughing that did it for him though it was when she lost control of her flying for just a second and one of the swords came of her wing and the rest was history after that.

That was probably the best background story I heard from all the ponies at the table; the other like how Flash Bang told how he admitted to sort of cheating on his entrance test.

Like his name suggests he found a way to use his magic to create a deafening and blinding explosions. When he was questioned after the test he said that he hadn’t broken any of the rules; in the case that he used his magic to be able to look at the proctor’s answer not any of the students; which was not written down anywhere. To me it seemed like he had a bit of an eccentric side but yet he seemed the most plain looking with his gray coat and short brown mane.

Shadow Dancer was as friendly as he had to be. If I were to think a bit stereotypically of military types Shadow Dancer would have to be the more special ops stealth kind of pony. I was even more correct in my thinking when he told me that he specialized in stealth magicks. He was calm collected and thought his next steps out carefully.

Although doing a complete one eighty from him would be where Flintlock Spark. He was loud, boisterous, and jokey once he got comfortable around me. He seemed like one of those kids that you knew in school that you think would love to play with fire or blow stuff up. And true to intuition it turns out that was exactly right; and why he held the rank of specialist above some other ponies in the squad.

Now besides the three that Gale introduced me to; I did meet the rest of the squad at the table. The tallest of them being a stallion named Lore Keeper. Like I thought up in my head before he started talking to me; he was basically a military librarian. And that sounded cool in so many different ways. He was bookish and smart; preferring to know more about old tales and myths. But when push came to shove he could be a strong fighter.

Going down the height ladder was another unicorn named Shadow Fire. Now I had only briefly seen the night guard in person and on the show but this guy ha d almost a spot on look besides some characteristics. He had the eyes and the fangs but his colors were off. And as it turns out that when he joined his only goal was to specifically be a part of Luna’s night guard.

And he wasn’t the only one either; the last pony if the squad that I met was a smaller unicorn named Red Star. His bright white coat and red mane was really a stand out. I wondered why he had joined the guard when he told me that his cutie mark meant that he was passionate about astronomy. It turned out that after Luna had come back he had read up on how she fell to darkness; and he felt that she didn’t know that many ponies like him enjoyed her night; and somewhat felt an obligation to show her. And so he set off on a path to be a night guard.

I mentioned something about how the two of seemed to want to be night guards on account of the fact that they might have a thing for Luna. And for that I was rewarded with a double spit from both of them and then they both stammered like embarrassed foals. Everyone else laughed at the dinner table antics and we all seemed to get along fairly well.

We all talked while we ate dinner and since I just got here I volunteered to help clean which no one turned down; and I figured out why when I saw a large pile of dishes. Though I did have some help so it didn’t take me forever. By the time I had finished Luna had already raised the moon; there weren’t many lights across the whole barracks area so you could see everything in the night sky. I stargazed for awhile while Red Star who had joined me outside spewed forth a library’s worth of information about every little star in the sky.

I listened to him for awhile thinking about my day. It started out with a horrible event; I decided that for right now I would do my to not think about what had happened; I needed some time to get away from it and hopefully everypony in Ponyville would understand my decisions…respecting them though was a whole other story.

After awhile the lieutenant came out and told Red Star and I that it almost lights out and because that tomorrow was my first day that I really should get a good rest. The tone in his voice made it sound like I was going to be in some kind of danger. I shrugged it off and headed back into our barracks; because I was larger than anypony they had to take two of the beds and put them together so I could fit. I slowly got my little bed area set up; despite not having to wear clothes all the time each pony had a dresser to keep whatever clothes they had. I unpacked and changed for the night as the lights went out. I heard everyone say goodnight except for Swift Gale and Jonagold. I decided not to think about it too much though as I remembered Jonagold’s words about getting a good rest; so I close my eyes, let the past stay in the past for now, and fell asleep looking forward to tomorrow.

Outside the barracks Jonagold sat up looking at the stars. It was a ritual he did every night. He sat there thinking about his family. His granny that seemed like she could outlive the princesses. His three Children; his son who was strong enough to break a mountain if he wanted to, His older daughter who was a national hero and trusting, and his youngest daughter that had more energy than lightning and could cause as much trouble as the spirit of chaos himself. Lastly he thought about his beautiful wife; he always missed her the most and whenever they had time together they were inseparable. As he sat out in the dark and voice broke his train of thought.

“Sir?” Jona turned his head to see his sergeant walking out of the barracks to check on him.

“Hey Swift what’s the matter can’t sleep?” He said; when no one was really looking or he was solely around family Jonagold Apple was a real joker.

“No sir but something is bugging me…I have a question so…permission to speak freely sir?”

“Granted Swift you know I gladly accept your point of view.”

“Ok then sir; well my question in more or less the correct way of putting it is…what the BUCK just happened today?” she yelled loud enough that she did not wake anypony but still loud enough to surprise he CO.

“I’m guessing this is more about why Private Dan has joined our squad or joined the military entirely?”

“Well yes sir. You, I, as well as the rest of the squad know that a certain “military tradition” is coming up soon; and maybe giving us someone like him isn’t exactly the smartest move. I can only guess as to why he is in the guard but to be in our squad…I’m hoping there’s a plan of action sir.”

“Well sergeant as to why he is here in the guard for now…you know how he is dating the Captain’s little sister right?”

“It has circled in the small talk around the camp.”

“Well when I meet Shining Armor and Dan on the way to camp; Shining said that Dan was here for “certain reasons”.”

“…I’m afraid I don’t follow sir.” Swift said in confusion.

“I thought you wouldn’t your still kinda young so I didn’t think you would remember when it happened.” Jona said chuckling a bit to himself. “Back awhile ago now; our great Captain spent two months doing nothing but working and training here; he never left to go into the city or report to the palace. He used the same reason and during some of the time when I was stationed on palace patrol I also noticed a slight change in one Princess Mi Amore Cadenza.” As he finished he could see the gears turning inside Swift Gale’s head as she came up with the answer.

“Sir are you implying…?”

“I’m not implying anything Swift. Let me tell you a little secret; when a stallion uses the terms “certain reasons” it is guy code for relationship troubles.

“Ok…but why then in both cases sir would either of them stay here?”

“Well one of the main reasons is fear. Fear of messing something up and getting hurt. Imagine if you were a stallion Swift who was dating an Alicorn Princess of the bearer of The Element of Magic; who both have amazing and incredible magical powers. What would be one thing you would try not to do?”

Swift stared at the lieutenant for awhile before she put it all together. “Ohh ok then I get that part sir. But now what about the part where he is joining our squad?”

At her last question Jonagold gave a bit of a smile. “Well Gale let me tell you a story of some things I learned over Hearthswarming…”

The Next Morning…

My ears were the first thing to work that morning as I was awoken to a bugle blasting Reveille. My eyes snapped open and were greeted to a tolerable amount of brightness. As my eyes got used to the light the sound of Reveille was replaced by shouting.

“ALRIGHT EVERYPONY UP AND AT’EM!!!” Jonagold who had been a farm pony for a part of his life was up quicker than anyone and true to his station barked order as good as R. Lee Ermey. Not wanting to see if he could do insults with the same style I was out of bed within second and making my bed.

While I was going Swift Gale came up behind me. “Welcome to your first day Private; how do you feel?”

“Surprisingly well I did not expect the bed…beds to be that comfortable.” I said as I finished making the bed; I looked to see a surprised look on Swift Gale’s face.

“Wow I didn’t think you would make you bed so nicely; usually it take awhile for anyone in the guard to get it.”

“My dad was in one of the branches of the military back where I come from and every day he would always stress about if we made our bed and if it was done properly. After a couple of years you just learn to do it right.”

“Huh I guess that makes sense… Say Dan I heard…” Swift started to talk to me about something but was interrupted.

“Hey Dan; special early morning delivery for you!” Flintlock said rushing by me and Swift while dropping something on my bed.

“Huh weird…was there something you wanted to ask Swift?” I said as I started to open the package before me.

She stared at me for awhile thinking. “…Oh nothing that can’t wait for a bit. Oh and in here you can call me Swift; but when we are out there unless I tell you to its Sergeant or ma’am got it?” she said putting her trademark demeanor back on.

“Yes ma’am.” I replied.

“Alright then hurry up; you got a long day ahead of you.” She said trotting off.

I finished getting the package open and though I immediately knew who it was form I was still surprised. Inside the wrapping was a couple pairs of dark camo green cargo pants and a note. I picked up the note and began reading the delicate handwriting.

Dear Dan,

I know that right now you might not want to hear from me or anyone from Ponyville but I feel like I have to write this. As of now I am the pony in charge of getting news between us here in Ponyville and the palace. I’ve heard from Shining Armor as well as the princesses and I know that you are going to be staying with the guard for awhile. I know your clothes aren’t exactly super durable so I made you these nice pants like I saw out of one of the books you wrote. But now to the hard part about this; you and Twilight. The girls and I are taking care of her; we don’t know what really happened between you two. Whenever we try to ask Twilight she skips around everything and we never get a full answer. So for now what I have to ask of you besides not trying to get yourself hurt to badly is that in your spare time when you feel up to it; that you try to find a way to figure out what’s going on between you and Twilight. You two are both very dear friends of mine and I’m not alone in saying that all of us here would like to see both of you happy. If you wish to write back do so; until then I hope you stay safe Dan.

Sincerely your friend;


I felt happy that Rarity wasn’t going to push any issues. I needed some time to put everything together and getting away for awhile would help that. Unfortunately I didn’t have long to think as I realized that everypony else was about ready. I quickly put on one of the pairs of pants Rarity had sent me; they were fantastic they kind of reminded me of the pants a certain video game character wore. I asked Jona what I kind of shirt I should wear and he told me “Something that doesn’t cover much; I don’t know if you’ll need it.” I was perplexed by his word but still managed to throw on a simple t-shirt. After that we fell into a formation and marched to where a large crowd was gathered.

We didn’t go straight into the crowd; rather we went around it to where I could see there was an open space. In that space I saw that the princesses were there with Shining Armor; and with them was a somewhat large monolith looking thing. The soldiers were all facing away form me and hadn’t seen me yet but I guess they were no stranger to whatever the monolith was.

Upon seeing me Princess Celestia’s eye lit up and she gave a nod to Shining Armor. He stepped out in front, drew in a breath, and then began shouting.

“Royal Guard Attention!!!” within seconds every single pony there snapped to attention; there was easily over one thousand ponies there; at that was about when I lost count. After everything went quiet Celestia addressed the troops.

“Good morning my little ponies. Now I would like to quickly get to the point of why we are here. Now you may have heard rumors that a couple of months ago a new creature came to Equestria. And that the creature known as a human soon showed that it was capable of some incredible feats. And for those feats he earned the royal blessing to stay in Equestria. Well I can tell you everything you have probably heard is true and that he is a friend of the crown. Now if you are wondering why I bring this up; it is because that starting today he is going to be joining you. Dan Will you please come up here.” On the last sentence she looked at me causing everyone to turn their heads my way.

I made my way quickly to the princesses and gave a slight bow; I wasn’t sure if going up and giving them a hoof bump would be the right way of doing things. I heard murmurs go out through the crowd; some sound good and some sounded bad. Whatever the word was about me I would take it as best I could.

After being stared at for awhile Celestia finally began talking again and broke the tension. “Now I’m sure you're wondering why I’m standing you here up in front of the rest of the guard? Well as you know all the guards have their armor like they normally do; its enchanted so when they are stationed within the castle that each guard looks the same; whether they be a Day Guard or Night Guard. But outside of those duties their armor is actually specific to the soldier and blends with its wearer to their capabilities and talents.

Now the machine behind us acts as a template for most of the ponies that is able to make the armor quickly with magic; but since your not exactly a pony; my sister and I have had to modify the machine so that it will work with you; and that is why you are here in front of the crowd right now.”

“Oh ok then.” I said looking at the machine. “So how exactly does this…” I managed to start saying before the machine let out a noise like a pressure lock was releasing. The front of the monolith slowly started swinging forward. After it opened the whole way I saw an indent that took the shape of a human, torso, head, arms, and legs.

“So is there anything I need to know before I jump in?” I asked Shining.

“Oh yes; well since ponies don’t wear pants you will not be getting any armor for that. Your armor will consist of a helmet, chest piece, and some kind of gloves whether they are gauntlets or something else. Also since you’re not going to be getting the standard guard armor; the machine may take some designs of something that could be used as armor from you memories so it may or may not all match exactly…oh and don’t wear you shirt in there; the machine doesn’t work well with fabrics but your pants should be fine if Rarity made them like I said.”

“Well…” I said looking around to the Princesses who were smiling, to my squad who was encouraging me as best they could, and to the rest of the guard ponies who were watching me with curiosity. “What’s the worst that could happen?” I said walking toward the back part of the machine which I believed I should get in first.

I walked up to it, turned around and fit myself within the indentations. After I had a couple seconds to get comfortable I guess the machine turned on cause my body snapped in place; every part of my body went rigid and I could see the part that had opened start its return to shut me in.

“Just so you know Dan we will be able to here you from in there but you won’t be able to hear us. Are there any last questions?” Shining said as the door got closer to closing.

“Umm…Oh yeah! Is it going to hurt?” I said with only a little light left. As it closed fully I was able to make out Shining saying the word “Slightly” to me as the world went dark.

From outside the box ponies watched as their newest and weirdest brother was closed in the machine; they heard him ask their captain if the process was going to hurt any. They all knew that it did hurt a little. After the door closed they heard a loud yell come out. “WHAT!!!” Everypony around laughed a bit at the comment and waited.

A magical whirring noise signaled that the machine was starting. “Ooh kinda cold.” The voice came from inside. The machine kept working for a couple of minutes before anything was heard again. “Hey this kinda tickles ha I don’t see why…” every pony heard the pause and knew what was coming next. A new noise came from the machine and with that so did something else. “HOLY SHIT WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!!!” the volume surprised most ponies. After that some noises of discomfort we heard again but nothing major. After that the machine came to a stop and opened with a cloud of steam; everypony was curious as to what their new comrade would look like.

Everything felt a bit blurry; not just my vision but I felt like my body was made of wavy lines as the machine released its grip. I walked as best as I could and stretched my arms. After I minute I finally opened my eyes and was greeted to a weird sight; I could see everything in front of me but it looked like it was on some kind of electric screen right in front of my eyes.

“Ah well now that sure is something to look at.” I turned to see Celestia smiling. “I didn’t think you would come out looking like this…how exactly are you seeing out of the thing?” She said looking into what assume what was covering my eyes and feeding me images of outside.

“Um I don’t exactly know, can I get a mirror please?” I said wanting to get a whole look at myself so I could process what happened. With a flick of her magic Celestia summoned up a mirror and as I got a look at myself I saw what my imagination hap prepared for me. Starting of with my helmet; I noticed that it looked like it had many moving parts. It had two flat parts in the front where my mouth and forehead would be; but the most striking was my vision visor. It completely covered my eyes and on the helmet were three horizontal strips that were glowing bright neon blue. The rest of the helmet was colored more darker shades of blue with the darkest being the biggest parts.

My chest piece was similarly cooler and covered everything from the bottom of my stomach to my neck. At the neck it made a circle the went diagonally upward around to my back; and also on it didn’t go over shoulders; instead it simply stopped right where the socket would be and had a large opening for me to move my arms in very large motions if I needed to. One small feature I also noticed was by my right shoulder there was a small knob; I decided I would figure out later what it meant.

My new gauntlets were the last thing I checked out and to me they were the most impressive. In contrast to my armor which was blue my gauntlets were a bright flaming red. They reached almost all the way to the elbow; on the end I noticed a sort of indentation that I didn’t know what was for either like the knob on my chest piece. I kept looking down the gauntlets form my elbow. It wasn’t all one piece like medieval gauntlets; it sort of seemed like they were sectioned into pieces that well together; halfway down there were flames on them and when I got to my hand I saw the best part. Each of my fingers were free but were adorned with smaller pieces of armor protecting the joints. And on the part where the back of my hand was looked like a brilliant round gem which was set in and fastened with two metal straps which formed and “X”

“Dan do you think you could remove your helmet?” Luna said as she came closer to look at me.

“Uhh….” I said moving my hands around my helmet not finding a clasp or anything that suggested “pull here”. I thought out loud to myself “now how am I going to get this helmet off?” and as if those were the magic words I heard a slight whirring and my helmet started moving and soon my helmet had sort of collapsed into the back side of my chest piece.

“Wow that is simply astounding…I must say that I love your new armor Dan.”

“Thank you Luna I have to admit; so do I.”

As I took a moment to give myself a look over Shining addressed the crowd. “Alright Everypony you know the drill; to the arena!” at his words the ponies fell out of formation and headed toward a structure that I hadn’t seen when I first got here.

The word “arena” also broke me from my gazing. “Huh what arena what’s going on?” I asked wondering why everyone including my squad was leaving.”

“Oh that’s right we haven’t told you yet have we.” Celestia said with a coy smile. “Getting your armor is only part one of your initiation into the guard, there is also a step two.”

“And that would be?” I said getting nervous.

“Oh just a simple combat trial against another pony.”

“Oh good…so who do I have to fight?” I said looking to the princesses and Shining.

“Oh just me.” Celestia said walking ahead of me with a little more pep in her step.

“Oh ok.” Were the words I said not even thinking about Celestia’s reply. I kept up a walking speed to keep me up with Luna, Cadence, and Shining and was fine for about a minute before it finally hit me.

“…WAIT WHAT!!!!!!!

Chapter 19: Surely you can’t be serious? I am serious and don’t call me Shirley…

View Online

Chapter 19: Surely you can’t be serious? I am serious and don’t call me Shirley…

“Is something the matter Dan?” Luna was the only one who had stopped moving at my outburst.

“Oh no not really; it’s a nice day, I got this cool new armor, oh and apparently I’M FIGHTING YOUR SISTER!!!” my stress levels were high.

“Yes it something that happens to all new guards; although we expect you to put on more of a show” despite my yelling Luna saw nothing wrong with it.

“Well first off how can you be okay with it? I mean your girls are immortal, you’ve fought many more dangerous things than me, and you can probably take a lot more pain…I guess I just answered my own freaking question there didn’t I?” I said putting my face in my hands.

“Yes you did but not completely you forgot a couple of things.”

“Oh I did? Then enlighten me please” I said giving the princess a deadpanned looked and raising one eyebrow.

“Well for one; you can’t use magic and you’re going up against a deity who uses magic to move a huge nuclear fusion reactor through space. Second we are immortal Alicorns who have lived thousands of years…”

“And one thousand which you spent on the moon.” I said interrupting Luna just to be a smart ass.

“Yes and regardless of that fact Tia and I have still learned and mastered plenty of different kinds of fighting styles. Where as I am assuming that you know…” she paused to let me fill in the blank.

“The basics of a couple of things…” I learned how to throw a decent punch, give a kick, some basic grappling from wrestling and jujitsu but that was about all. I was a jack of all trades and a poor one at that.

“And last but not least Dan; While you may be dreading this fight I can Assure you that Tia is looking forward to it with more excitement than I have seen her gave many things over the past few months…Dan do you know what normally happens when a pony who is new to the guard goes through this?”

“No but I’m assuming the phrase “piss myself” goes through their mind.”

“It may but Dan when other ponies speak to us how do they normally say it?”

“Most likely Princess Luna or Princess Celestia.” I wondered where she was taking this.

“And when somepony sees us what do you think they think of first?”

“Of you and your sister as princesses…oh.” The gears started turning in my head.

“And because of old tales and how my sister and I look what do you think a guards first thought would be when told that he is going to be fighting one of the princesses?”

“I get your point Luna; you don’t want this to be like other times where new ponies threw away their chance to fight a being who already outclasses them.”

“Well most ponies don’t throw their chance away. They just try to rush headlong with no plan thinking that they could end the fight either winning or losing it. Besides what the worst thing that could happen?”

“On the off chance I somehow “win”” I said doing air quotes.

“Oh sure let’s go with that” Luna said chuckling, obviously trying to hide her laughter which wasn’t going very well.

“Celestia’s a sore loser and she sends me to the moon?”

“Oh well don’t worry if she does I’m sure that I can get her to bring you back within a week.” Luna tried joking.

“Luna I can’t breathe in space…”

“Oh well…” She had run out of things to say as we finally came upon the entrance to the arena.

“But don’t worry I get what your saying…I just hope Celestia knows her limits and how to use them on me.” I said solemnly.

“Don’t worry about it we have great medical care here; we patched you up fine after the factory didn’t we? I’m sure even if your torn in half you’ll be fine.” apparently the princess of the night had one more joke to which I gave a very sad face to.

We walked in and began to hear chanting, cheering, and screaming coming out of one end of the hallway we had walked into. After a fairly short walk we came out into a circular arena like the coliseum in Rome but smaller. The princess and I stood on the middle ring that went around and there were seats that went lower until there was a sharp dip into the ring where Princess Celestia was waiting to fight with me.

I guess she had gotten a bit of a warm up; I could see a bit of sweat on her; she was also not wearing her royal regalia. She looked up as the crowd signaled my arrival. Our eyes met and we kind of had one of the silent conversations where our eye said everything.

After we had finished I headed towards what could only be described as “certain pain and doom”. I didn’t try to see if there was some stair or anything. I simply started walking down the path of the lower seat. About halfway down I broke into a run. At the end there was a railing which I grabbed and pushed myself over. I actually built a little more speed than intended so I decided to try to be flashy for a second; with the speed I had I was able to make myself spin completely around once. After that I decided on a simple pose; I hit the ground with one foot, one knee, and one fist. I choose the iron man pose; one fist to the ground while kneeling also while my other arm was waving slightly in the air.

I guess the ponies hadn’t gotten anything like that from other new recruits because the crowd loved it. Even Celestia was smirking at me for my little show.

“Hmm I guess you’re more athletic than I thought Dan?”

“Well it’s a shame to disappoint but a lot of that was luck and me praying not to land on my face.” I joked.

Celestia chuckled a bit before speaking to me again. “OK then shall we set some ground rules?”

“I’d thought you never ask. My only concern is you using magic that will shave years off my life span.”

“Oh Dan I would never do that; just some simple telekinesis, magic beams, teleporting. Nothing I wouldn’t expect some unicorns here not to know.”

“Oh ok then…other than that any specific hitting rules?” I wanted to make sure that I wouldn’t accidently hit the princess where the sun don’t shine…and vice versa cause getting bucked by any type of equine in the balls just hurts.

“Oh well I am going to put simple shield spell on both of us that will more or less protect or skin from blows and contact. The pain and force will still be felt but it will make sure no marks are left.”

“Just like a bag of oranges.” I muttered.

“What was that Dan?”

“Oh nothing.” I’m kinda glad she didn’t hear that.

Afterwards I was given a brief period to stretch. I tried to mimic somewhat how Bruce Lee stretched; making sure to get the blood flowing through all of my body. I could feel the eyes of everypony on me; I hadn’t really shown anything that could be considered my “violent nature” since I got here to Equestria. I just hoped that I wouldn’t give a bad impression somehow. Looking up into the crowd I saw where my squad was sitting; I couldn’t tell if they were cheering for me; or for me to get my ass handed to me. The princess and I shook before each going to one end of the ring. My mind raced to create any kind of strategies I could use. Hopefully I could come up with some kind of plan.

Upon reaching the wall I simply put my hands on and leaned on it; saying a silent prayer to any kind of deity that would listen. Unfortunately before I could get a reply Luna spoke up over the crowd.

“Attention Everypony!!! If everyone participating in today’s match is ready I believe it is time we get under way. Will the fighters please make their way to their spots and get ready?” She said in a loud enough voice even though at her words everyone turned silent.

Celestia and I made our way to the center to where there were two markers to designate where we should stand; and there was still a nice amount of distance between us. I took up a simple stance; I turned my body sideways to give a smaller target, I had one hand out in front of me with the other slightly behind it and closer to my body, I used one foot as an anchor behind me and pointed the other towards my opponent. Celestia on the other hand didn’t really move; or at least I couldn’t tell. Maybe Alicorn had a way of making very small movements.

“Are the fighters ready?” Luna’s voice came from above; neither Celestia nor I looked at her. Celestia gave a polite nod the way she always did. And when I could feel the eyes on me waiting for me to say something I said “Helmet on.” And watched as the helmet covered my view and all the electronics inside light up; and then nodded. It was then that Luna raised her hoof into the air and spoke.

“THEN…BEGIN!!!” she said bringing her hoof down.

Now from what Luna had told me about previous times is that most ponies just gave a kamikaze charge hoping to get it over with quickly for the “princess’s sake”. I decided not to go with that approach.

I stood in my stance as still as a statue facing my opponent. Celestia had a smile on her face; I think she was glad I decided not to rush anything. She stood as still as I did for awhile watching me.

“Well thank you for not being so hasty like the others Dan. I had hoped you would take the opportunity to…slow down and enjoy our fight…” she kept a slight smile on her face and started to walk around the arena slowly; I kept still thinking that she could attack at any second.

“You know it has been awhile since I had a challenging fight. I can guess that my sister has filled you in that usually when a new guard has to fight me they end up charging me.” She stepped around in a semi circle never crossing to my side. “But did she tell you what I do to those guards that keep trying that tactic?” She asked stopping her walk to admire the wall for some reason.

“No…she did not.” My voice sounded like I didn’t even have my helmet up.

“Well I’m looking right at my last “masterpiece” if you will. What do you think about it?”

I decided to take a chance and looked. And if people could see through my visor they would see that my eyes bugged out; and the reason for that was because I saw that the wall we were staring at had an imprint of a pony in it. Like someone had magically slammed somepony so hard that they imprinted in the wall.

I had never thought that I could be so engrossed of seeing something that could only take place in a cartoon world. I guess it also lulled me into a false sense of security too; because in all that amazement I barely registered the small amount of white that entered my peripheral vision. With whatever pure reflex I had I managed to turn my head to see that Celestia was in mid charge and about to collide with me. My first thought was to jump straight back but I quickly considered that she might use magic if I did.

I managed to jump to the side avoiding the blow from Celestia. I wanted to counter attack but I was shocked because she pulled of what I had wanted to do to her.

“Well I seem to have caught you buy surprise Dan.” She said as I turned to face her.

“I’m surprised because I wanted to try it on you.” I hope my voice sounded calm and not how nervous that attack made me.

“Oh really? Well now that someone has made the first move; don’t you think we should give this our all then?” she had a coy smile on; it was like facing down a female assassin who knew how good she was.

“Ladies first.”

“Oh how chivalrous of you. But you are going to regret that.” She was smiling for the first half of that sentence. And then she put on a serious face. Her horn also lit up and she began to fire magic beams at me. I wasn’t lucky enough to dodge the first one. It felt like getting hit with the force of a cannonball. I flew backwards off my feet and collided with a wall. I guess she hadn’t used as much force as with other ponies because this time I wasn’t fully imprinted in the wall.

I heard a nice “ooh” sound come from most of the crowd; they knew as well as I did that what just happened hurt like a bitch.

Everything stopped for a few seconds as my wrenched my body from its little hole, shelf, imprint whatever you want to call it; and simply slid to the floor for a second.

“My my that’s not the end of you is it Dan?” I managed to look up and see Celestia smiling again; she was seriously fighting with me but still had the attitude and aura suggesting that she was playing with me.

“I’m fine.” I said getting up and stretching really quickly. I reached down and stretched to my toes to male sure my back was still in one piece. I stood back up at full height I didn’t take a stance or anything I just stood there waiting for what ever was going to happen next.

“Well…shall we try that again?” I asked putting on the same kind of smile she had. Not waiting for a reply I ran forward trying to close the now pretty big gap between us. Celestia reacted accordingly as she charged her horn and started firing at me again. This time however I was slightly more prepared. I swerved in between the first few couple of shots and jumped over another. After that shot I was almost within range; but she managed to get a shot off that was headed right for me. With whatever luck I had I managed to only have it graze my gauntlet as I put it to my helmet for protection.

After that I was finally within a legs reach of the princess. I planted my left foot on the ground and swung my right foot out wide. I by the look o Celestia’s face I could tell that she wasn’t expecting any type of swinging punch or kick. I had guessed as much seeing as how I had never seen a pony make any kind of punch besides a straight jab. It only took a few seconds but it seemed like forever as my kick collided with her. She moved sideways with the force of my kick; I was kinda dumbstruck for a second thinking to myself “Holy crap I actually hit her!!!” but snapped back to normal thinking “Ok got to follow this up correctly.” After the kick I rushed towards her again; in response she reared on her back legs possibly trying to crush me to incapacitate me.

Luckily I knew the easiest way to counter that; I kept moving forward until to close for her move to be affected. I turned slowly and threw my shoulder into her underside keeping her in her up right position. I moved back slightly and threw some quick punches to her body so she would start moving backwards. Noticing that she was leaning backwards slightly I figured I had enough time to try something ballsy. Spinning under her hooves an around her wings I managed to get behind Celestia who still hadn’t reacted to anything I had done yet.

Now I was behind here facing back to back thinking that I might have the strength to pull it off. I bent backwards and wrapped my arms around Celestia. I never knew exactly how much she weighed before this but I could tell that she had probably eaten a little too much cake. I took a bit more strength but I was able to start lifting here from my position. From there I managed to swing her over my head in somewhat of an inverted power bomb. I flung her down with all the strength I had only to hear a familiar popping noise as I attempted to throw her to the ground.

She teleported out of my grip and reappeared in front of me. “Well Dan that was certainly impressive Dan. Now it’s my turn to retaliate.” I didn’t even have time to say anything she seized my whole body in a telekinetic grip a flung me sideways a lot faster than when I was hit with her magic blasts. It was like being in a car crash; not just the throw itself but also when I hit the stone wall hard enough to bounce back to the center of the ring. That wasn’t the end of it though as I sailed through the air back to where I had started I was grabbed again a flung in the opposite direction. I was kind of glad I had my armor on other wise my body may have been reduced to a pulp. I hit a second wall and flew back and again Celestia grabbed me and I guess to complete the set threw me straight backwards this time.

So far from what I had seen the fight between my sister and Dan had been going along very smoothly and then Celestia’s true fighting nature leaked a little and she threw Dan into three walls. He hit the wall with great impact and got stuck in it; at least for awhile before it crumbled around him a bit and he fell face down to the ground. I watched as my sister stopped her magic and took in a few breaths to compose her self.

“Well my I guess that’s the end of that…” I heard her say since no pony has said anything since the fight started. ‘What did you think of the exhibition Luna?” my sister looked up to me in the stands. I looked her over; I could tell that Dan’s blows had hurt her; it wasn’t enough for a serious injury but painful none the less. And then I looked to Dan and was a bit surprised at what I saw.

Putting on a small smirk I answered her “I think you should turn around and finish it Tia.” She was confused at what I meant until she did turn around. Dan was on one knee and still trying to fully get up.

“Well Dan I am surprised to see you standing.” My sister said as he got to his feet. “Although I am not sure if we should continue.” For awhile Dan just stood there breathing not saying a word; I don’t know if it was because he was thinking or simply trying to stay conscious.

“Armor…gauntlets only.” Were the first words he spoke after a minute. His helmet and chest piece disappeared with magic and he was left there standing with his gauntlets.

“Dan I think you have proven your capabilities well enough.” My sister said to him; if he was going to fight without his armor he could get hurt more than he intended.

“Tia Tia Tia…” his words sounded laborious as he was still breathing hard. “You of all ponies should know that’s not how a fight works. It’s not done until one side can’t stand anymore.” He closed his eyes, took in a deep breath, and exhaled slowly. I could tell that calmed him down as he slowly opened his eye and said “And luckily I’m still standing.”

He charged again without any kind of tell. With a couple feet between Celestia and him he brought his right arm back and threw a punch. My sister was quick enough to set up a shield in front of her to block his attack. What she didn’t count on is that when his fist hit the shield he simply didn’t stop or attack the shield madly like a beast. He leaned in on his arm then pushed on it to spin himself around the shield. Using his momentum he brought back his left arm. Catching my sister by surprise he let out a warrior like scream as he threw his fist forward.

His fervor in his attacked surprised not only me but my sister as well. And out of instinct I saw her horn light up with a spell she shouldn’t use in a situation like this. But she used it before I could warn her and the next thing I knew Dan was swatted by gravity; six inches into the ground. And then the spell activated again and the ground collapsed in on him not once but twice more and he was practically buried underneath rock. I quickly got up and moved down into the ring to make sure that Dan wasn’t too badly hurt…and took make sure Tia paid those bits because we had a bet that Dan could get her to use more serious magic.

The Last thing I remember before blacking out was aiming a left hook at Celestia. Then there was a flash of light and I remember being face planted in the ground…three times I think; then came the sweet brace of unconsciousness…or death I’m not to sure.


What was that? Do I hear voices? I guess I’m not dead.


That sounded familiar I can’t really tell at this point.

“Dan…are you ok say something. Open an eye; something to make sure we don’t have to send you to the hospital so they can stick needles in you.”

“I’m up I’m up no need for needles.” I groaned as I cracked an eye open and saw Swift Gale looking at me with concern.

“Oh good you can open your eyes; now can you see?” she asked.

“I think so but I think it may be a little messed up; I see a pony who looks like my sergeant but doesn’t have her usual smug grin on.”

“Oh ha ha you idiot if you weren’t already in bed I’d hit you…so what do you remember…about the fight.”

“Well lets see…pain, a wall, getting a couple lucky shots in…more pain, more walls. And then I think I gave a cool little one liner and tried a heroic last charge…and the my face and body in the ground… then darkness.” I said to her.

“Anything else? I just have to make sure you don’t have a concussion or anything.”

“Hmm…oh yeah remind me to write a note to Celestia that she needs to lay off the cake. I mean I felt like I was going to hurt my back when I tried to lift her that one time. Seriously; talk about heavy.” I said trying to laugh but I still felt a bit of pain in my ribs.

“Oh it seems that you are alive and well Dan; and with how you like to joke. I guess that means your ready for another round?” I sat up to see the Celestia was sitting right in front of my bed back in the barracks. In fact most of the squad was crowding around my bed.

“Um no thanks Celestia you cheated; I think I will wait awhile before trying again thank you very much.” My comment was met with a hoof to the back of my head from Swift Gale.

“Dan don’t talk like that to the princess.” She said angrily before turning to Celestia. “I’m sorry princess we haven’t had time yet to whip him into shape I’m sure he didn’t…” she stopped after hearing Celestia chuckle.

“It is quite alright Sergeant Gale; Dan is a personal friend of mine and I understand his humor very well. And in times like this he is right to make a joke like that. He is right though I did cheat and I am sorry for that Dan maybe next time will be different. I am glad to see that you are fine and now I will return the palace; I do look forward to see how everything goes from now on.” She said before getting up. She gave everybody a good bye before heading to the door. Upon opening the door though she stopped and looked back to me. “Oh and Dan.” she said catching my attention. “Just remember if you make many more jokes about my weight or about my dessert eating habits…lets just say that next time you can find another Alicorn to perform a healing spell that fixes your eight broken ribs, fractured right arm, internal bleeding, lacerations, cuts, and bruises.” He tone was warm but you could see through past he smiling face to the fury of the sun that lay behind it.

As if on some kind of queue everyone in the barracks audibly gulped. And on that the princess left laughing to herself. After she did everypony visibly relaxed.

Swift who was still beside me was the first to break the silence. “So Dan who was…are you laughing?”

Sure enough my laughter had been building from the moment the door had closed and soon enough I couldn’t contain it and the barracks were filled with my laughter.

“What’s so funny Dan?” Swift asked hoping to get an answer.

“I got a chance to beat up Celestia at least in some way or shape or form…and she apologized to me!!!” I started laughing again before the realization sunk into everyone else’s mind and they started laughing. Sure enough soon we were all laughing.

Outside the barracks Celestia had concealed herself with magic to see what would go on right after. Not too much to her surprise Dan shook everything off with his trademark humor like he was prone to do with everything.

“Well at least it’s a step in the right direction for now. At least I didn’t have to tell him why I cast that spell; his visage as he came at me with that last blow was…something else. Humans sure are something different.” She said to herself before taking to the sky to fly back the palace and enjoy some nice dessert to counteract all the exercising she did today.

Chapter 20: First Day part 1: The best part of waking up is Jarvis in your cup

View Online

Chapter 20: First Day part 1: the bets part of waking up is Jarvis in your cup


“And it looks like you are coming close to the halfway point of your journey.”


“But it is still a long and arduous path. Will you be able to do it, Dan?”


“Well we mustn’t think about failure now. For now you should think about waking up, Dan.”

I woke up suddenly after having a weird dream. It’s not like I haven’t had dreams like that before; having a lucid dream where you are fully aware that you are dreaming but still stick with it. But I’ve never had one where someone or something was talking to me; and seemed to be talking about my actual life specifically. In any case it was freaky enough to wake me up and make me feel like I didn’t want to sleep anymore.

It was still pretty dark but I could see that no one else was up yet after my eyes got used to the darkness. I figured that since I was up I should try something out that I had thought about before I went to bed. I got out of my bed and made it as quietly as possible. Looking over at my night stand I saw a note that hadn’t been there before I fell asleep. I noticed the writing as Celestia as I picked it up and read it to myself.

“Dear Dan,

I am very thankful for how you fought against me. It has been a very long time since I have had at least a little challenge. That being said I will apologize again in this letter for the end of the match where I may have over reacted a tad bit. Although I will say I was impressed with your last strike; it showed your intensity and will to fight. Maybe that was the reason I cast that triple gravity spell. Anyway if you are reading this now you are probably back in your barracks and wondering about what happened to your armor right? Well after we got you back here I cast a spell to take your armor off and it turned into a pair of gloves which I out in the nightstand. Now normally with guards I am well aware of the potential of their armor; but since you aren’t exactly a normal pony guard I can’t fully give a good estimate on the potential of your armor. You can fiddle around with it and experiment with it and see what you can make of it. I look forward to seeing what happens


Princess Celestia

PS. If any of the guards give you flack for calling me Tia instead of just Princess Celestia just ignore them.”

I laughed on the inside; Celestia sure was something else. Ready to fight but yet apologetic when going just too far. I looked down and saw the pair of gloves that apparently were my armor in their unused state; they were more mittens than anything else. Not wanting to wake anypony I grabbed them and headed into the commons room of the barracks. Putting on the mittens I decided to give Celestia’s advice a try and see what I could do.

“Ok so I know it responds to my words but in a combat situation that’s not so good so let see…” I stood there just looking at the mittens on my hands and then began to think. I figured that since it was magic armor and that if they could respond to my voice then the same could be said for my thoughts. I concentrated thinking about each individual piece of my armor and started thinking of commands that would work.

“Umm Armor up?” I said in my head and waited. Nothing happened after a few seconds.

“Suit up?” again nothing.

“It’s Morphing Time?” in tried out of desperation kinda hoping that it would work.

I stood there just thinking for awhile before I decided to try the simplest command I could think of. “Armor: On?” I thought and sure enough with a magical flash my armor appeared and my helmet came up and covered my head.

“Ok good to know that works. Now I wonder if there are any other commands?” I said looking at the screen on the inside of my helmet. “Umm armor commands.” I said and was surprised to see a list of words pop up no my view screen. “Ok I wasn’t expecting that. I wonder what I got in this armor? Ok lets see where was that command…ah ok. Helmet: Disconnect.” I said the command and waited as I heard a bunch of little parts move and do their job. Once the noises stopped I grabbed my helmet, pulled upwards, and surely enough it came off.

“Ok good good; step one complete. Now let’s see what I’m working with here.” I said finally getting a good look at what I had been sticking my head into. It was a lot different than I had though. It looked like normal circuitry but with some kind of magic twist. I saw gems that looked like circuit parts and other things that amazed me.

“Wow now that is something else…I wonder how I even begin to...” I started to worry about how to work on this but then something caught my eye. As if the helmet was hearing me I saw a bright arrow point to something inside the helmet and fade away. I stuck my hand in to where and my hand came upon I little inset where a wire was. I could feel that you could be able to pull the wire out so I did and once I got a good look at it I was a bit stupefied.

“Oh you have got to be shitting me it can’t be that simple.” I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone. I looked at the side to where you would plug things in and sure enough the plug from the helmet was like one I would plug into my phone.

“Ok now that’s too uncanny even for me…I guess I’ll chalk it up to magic here and see where this goes.” I said to myself plugging the two together. For awhile nothing happened but then the screen on phone flickered and then went black. I stared at it for awhile thinking that I might have just broken my phone before the word “Hello” appeared in bright blue letters. I stared in shock for awhile thinking of what to do.

“Uh…hello?” I said thinking that since my phone had a microphone in it that something would get picked up. I waited after I had tried to have a conversation with my hybrid helmet phone before the screen lit up again saying “What is your name”

I was shocked that my phone just asked me a question; and I was even more shocked that somewhere in the back of my head I thought it would be rude not to answer. “Um my name is Dan…and you are?” I wasn’t sure why I asked back.

“I am your armor I do not have a name unless given one” it only spoke in statements and didn’t use any punctuation.

“Hmm what are your functions?” I asked.

“I have three functions. First: listen and respond to user commands, Two: maintain armor, Three: adapt”

“Adapt; what does that mean?”

“Due to powers I can’t quantify due to magic or technology I can process any information to acquire new functions that you desire”

“So you can imitate things?” I asked not finding it weird that I was now having a conversation with my helmet.

“Imitate is an acceptable synonym”

“Alright then; I can think of something I want you to adapt but I will need control of my phone.” I waited a second and my screen turned back to normal. I had found out that I could still use the internet for some reason here in Equestria. And this was the first case where I found that it would be more beneficial to me. After looking through a couple of things I brought up as many things about one of my favorite AI’s; J.A.R.V.I.S from iron man.

“I want you to asses everything I bring up and adapt to it as best you can.” I was now giving commands to my helmet and I guess the AI inside it.

“I am already half way done is there anything else you would like me to do?” I was surprised when the voice I had heard in the movies came from my helmet.

“Wow your fast. Um no after finishing do what you have to; to optimize yourself and the armor ok Jarvis?”

“Very good sir. And I thank you for giving me a copyrighted name too sir.”

“Dan is that you?” I turned to see Swift Gale had come into the room. “I heard talking but I only see you. Who are you talking to?” she gave a look like you give a person who you think is going crazy.

“Oh I’m just talking to Jarvis here. Say hi to the Sergeant, Jarvis.” I said moving to the side and letting her see my helmet that in the way it was sitting had the front visor staring at her.

“Good morning ma’am.” came the voice from the helmet and just like I had figured Swift Gale freaked out. She immediately jumped backwards and hid behind a table in a defensive position.

“WHA WHA…WHAT IS THAT!!!” she shouted; not loud enough to wake everyone else.

“Well it’s my armor. It turns out it’s a bit more technologic than I would have thought and so I was able to create a sort of “spirit” if you will that helps me out with things.

From my position I could see Swift just barely poking her eyes out from the top of the table, and despite knowing her more aggressive behavior her actions did make her seem a bit cute. Slowly she peeked more of her head out from behind the table.

“Is it dangerous?” she asked.

“Sir if I may?” Jarvis said from his place on the table.

“By all means go ahead.” I said giving him permission.

“If I may ma’am…”

“Sergeant.” Gale interrupted; rising quickly from her position before realizing what she had done and lowering herself again.

“…Sergeant. I’m nothing more than a mix of magic and technology I have no physical form other than Dan’s armor. And since the point of armor is defense and protection I have no means of doing anything that could be considered dangerous.”

“So you can’t attack?”

“Even in the armor fully constructed state I don’t think I have the ability besides what Dan has allowed me to. I cannot move unless he gives me the information to adapt.”

“Ah ok then I…guess that’s ok.” She said finally coming out from behind the table and coming closer. “What are you smiling at Dan?” she said after finally looking back at me.

“I was just thinking that this went better than I expected for the first time. I mean at first I thought you were going to scream in panic and declare it witchcraft or something. But then I remembered that you already have magic; so I kinda lost my train of thought there.

“Sir I am ready for re-attachment I have finished the adaptation.”

“Oh good thanks Jarvis. Ok let’s try this out.” I said unplugging my phone and grabbing my helmet from the table. As I started to put it back on it automatically adjusted so it would go on with out any problems; I guess that was Jarvis doing It for me. After my helmet was once again secured and connected it back my chest piece everything went dark for a moment.


“Just a simple reboot sir I have to acclimate and go over the rest of the armor for all new functions to be processed and work.” I stood there in total darkness for awhile before everything started up again. It turns out that even my outside audio was off because once everything came back online I heard the morning reveille sound and saw the squad start their morning routines. Nobody asked me anything and Swift had disappeared to do her stuff so I thought it was best to simply drop the armor for now. It turned back into its normal state of a pair of mittens and I went along the business of getting ready for the day. It wasn’t until breakfast that anypony had bothered to say anything to me.

“Hey Dan what’s that thing on your ear?” Scribble Page asked me. I was puzzled by the question until I finally felt around and found something on my ear. I managed to pull it off without hurting myself; I found that a Bluetooth like ear piece was the thing he had been asking about.

“Jarvis did you do this?” I asked out loud causing ponies to give me a weird look for talking to no one in the room. That was until Jarvis voice came out through the earpiece.

“Yes sir I thought it would be a more optimal idea for when you do not have you full armor on. And might I add that it does look quite nice on you.” I chuckled at the AI’s attempt at flattery and humor and looked around to see plenty of shocked faces looking at me, and before any of them could speak Swift Gale answered for them.

“It like some kind of magic spirit in his armor that helps him maintain it. That’s the easiest explanation you’re gonna get. You can ask him any other types of questions you want later but for now we have morning training so hurry up and finish eating and move out!!!” and on her words everybody seemed to forget about it quickly and went back to what they were doing except for Jonagold who was muttering something along the lines of “confangled modern doohickey”. I laughed a bit as I put the earpiece back in and headed outside to begin the day.

“Sir, am I such a strange thing to these ponies?” he asked.

“We are in a world with magic, mythical creatures, deities that can move celestial object and who knows what else. I’m sure strange is the norm for a lot of things. Give it some time it will pass. Now lets see what today’s training has in store for us. Right Jarvis?”

“Very well sir I will create some First Aid protocols.”

Chapter 21 First Day part 2: meeting an old… “Enemy”???

View Online

Chapter 21 First Day part 2: meeting an old… “Enemy”???

“Alright so what’s on the docket for today’s events Lieutenant?” I said to Jona as I made my way out of the barracks with the rest of the squad. The meal had finished in relative normalcy after Swift Gale had given everyone the bottom line about Jarvis.

Well Dan your in luck today’s a week before our usual weekly all guard training. So for today we have in squad basic training in the morning. Mostly weight training, slight sparring, and any general exercise you can think of to get the squad back in good shape for what’s about to happen in a two weeks.”

“What happening in two weeks? I haven’t heard anything.”

“That’s because only squad leaders and military leaders are supposed to know, now hush. And then after the morning training we have town patrol duty; where we just patrol Canterlot. It usually isn’t too bad though, it’s less boring than palace duty. Just a simple patrol and sometimes breaking up temper tantrums the nobles start.”

“What do they get angry about?” I asked.

“Oh it’s usually something along the lines of how the “lower” class of ponies are messing up their “lifestyle”” Jona stopped for a second to do air quote with his hooves, And even after seeing it I couldn’t comprehend how he did it.

I didn’t ask anything else as we walked for a couple more minutes till we reached a building that I guessed was a gym. On the inside I could see that it was like plenty of gyms that I had seen with equipment the mirrored the same things on my world but more for ponies than humans. Besides the weights and equipment I saw what looked to be a boxing ring and farther into the building I could see what looked like to me as a small ring for weapon sparring.

“Alright troops we got a week to get into a better shape than we are in right now. Everypony needs to improve upon at least something before the weekend is up you hear me? So go ahead and see Swift; she has done her work and knows in which areas you should work on. I’ll let everyone know when it’s time to stop.” He said to everyone before starting walking off to start his own exercise. But before he did he stopped and turned to look at Swift Gale. “And make sure nobody gets hurt this time Gale.”

“Yes sir I’ll go easier on them.” I could see her put on a smirk. Looking around I could see on Everypony’s faces that they were a bit scared at Swift’s face. It was as if they were staring at some kind of monster.

“Alright then everyone line up and listen up!” Swift Gale snapped at us after Jonagold had gotten a bit farther away. “I’ve been watching each and every one of you to see where your strengths and weaknesses lie. Even you Dan!” she said snapping her head to give me a look which made me stand completely straight. “

“Shadow Fire!” she said as she started at the beginning of the line. “I know your magic is good and in a fight you do better than expected. But you can’t always rely on that. Get to work on training that body of yours, toughen it up so you can take a hit better. Got it?” She said giving him a drill sergeant stare.

“Yes ma’am!” He said and fell out of line to begin his regimen.

“Scribble Page” Swift barked coming to the next pony on her list. Instead of a neutral stare like I saw Shadow Fire give I saw a look of dread and fear in Scribbles’ eyes. “Your good when it come to noticing details, Fighting or otherwise. But you rely to much on thinking and not enough on your instinct when it counts. So you, sparring ring, I’ll be there with others soon enough.”

I had him give an audible gulp before he responded “Ma’am.” And then slowly turned and headed towards the far end of the gym with his head hung low.

And it went like this for couple of minutes. Lore Keeper had good enough strength so he was sent to sparring, Flash Bang needed to work on his agility more than anything so he could avoid not getting hit while he cast his trademark skill, Shadow Dancer was also sent to sparring because even though he was stealthy he needed to learn how to take down ponies from that stealth, Red Star being the smallest of the group was told he had to do everything; weight training, sparring, agility training, as well as magic meditation. Flintlock was the last pony before she got to me. He was told to do nothing but meditation because he needed to learn to have more of a level head during a battle scenario. He happily saluted and then trotted of to the meditation area.

“Ugh sometimes that stallion…Now then Mr. big bad human.” She started to say something about Flint before giving me the drill sergeant look she had given all the others. And even though she still had some of those “adorable” pony qualities she still could put a little fear into me. “I saw your little demonstration yesterday and for some parts I was a little impressed. But you still have a ways to go. Now due to your form I can assume that if trained right you can be much stronger than you are now. Am I correct Private?”

“Yes Sergeant.”

“Good…so for today you’re going to do the same thing as Red Star. While your strength and fighting capabilities may be good enough to land a couple of blows on the princess it’s still not good enough for me. So for the week you’re going to train your whole body to the best you can through exercise and sparring. And by the end of this week your going to be a lean, mean, fighting machine is that understood?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Alright then get to it; I’m not exactly sure what exercises to give you to do since you’re not a pony. But you probably have an idea of what you should do right?”


“Then get to it…oh and Jarvis?” she said stopping to talk to my armor.

“Yes Ms.?” Came the voice from my earpiece.

“Keep a count of what he does. And don’t let him slack off.” She said with a smirk as she turned around to head towards the sparring ring.

“Of course ma’am good decision.”

“Hey I thought you were supposed to be my armor. Why are you siding with her?”

“I am just making sure that you are able to perform to the best of your abilities. And isn’t it the correct situation to listen to you ranking officers orders?”

“Oh fine I get it smartass…well lets gets to it then.” I said resigning my self to the fact that my armor was getting better at being a smartass.

For the next two hours I weight trained with the others. I couldn’t use the equipment since it wasn’t exactly my size, so instead I opted just to use the weights and do other exercises like sit ups. Red Star occasionally asked me what my exercises did for my body; and I explained it to the best of my ability.

After awhile it all turned into a routine like Blur until someone spoke up.

“Hey Dan, Red Star. Sarge says it’s time for you guys to head to he sparring ring.” I looked up from the weights I had been holding to see Lore Keeper standing in front of us. He had taken his armor off and I could see a couple of hoof sized bruises dotting his side.

“What happened to you?” I asked partially out of concern but mostly out of fear.

“Well I think you got her all excited; seeing as your one of the first new recruits in awhile to actually take a swing at the Princess during your initiation.”

“Hmm how long has it been?” I was curios about how many ponies there were willing to try and fight against the princess.

“Weirdly enough it was Red Star here.” He said pointing to the smaller pony next to me.

“Oh really? What made you so brave Red?”

“I don’t know I kinda chalked it up to momentary loss of sanity. Let’s hurry up and get over to Swift I’m guessing she’s run out of opponents and you shouldn’t keep her waiting.

“What do you mean?”

You’ll see when you get over there…good luck.” Lore said ominously as we walked past him.

I didn’t get what he said until we got within a better view of the sparring ring. Swift Gale was standing in the center with her armor up. Since I knew that she was pretty much a master with dual swords I could tell that her armor might have more of a duelist look to it. And as it turns out that I was right, it was sleek and more contoured to her body, but looked sturdy enough to take its fair share of blows. And instead of a full helmet, she had this veil that covered her mouth.

“Geez Sarge do you even know the meaning of the words easy? One of these days you might actually hurt one of us.” Red Star said from my side and it wasn’t until I glanced around the ring and saw everyone else lying down like they had been slain. Shadow Dancer was lying in a crumpled head with his rear in the air and what looked like a red outline of the flat of a blade showing on his dark fir Scribble in a somewhat odd twist wasn’t even lying on the ground. Instead it seemed that his sparring had somehow ended up with him hanging from the lighting fixtures in the ceiling.

“Save the chatter for later Red, you’re up first.” She said after what looked like catching her breath.

I looked at Red Star and he looked back at me with somewhat pleading eyes. Hoping that something would happen that would stop him from having to spar with his senior officer.

“You’re not going to give me your last will and testament are you?” I asked.

“Oh no I don’t think she would kill me…”

“I’m waiting Private.” Swift said interrupting him as she strode towards her end of the circle.

“…not today at least.”

“Godspeed buddy.” I said giving pitiful look.

To be honest with myself the fight wasn’t actually that bad from my stand point. I had no clue how long a fight between two ponies should last so I thought that the five minutes that Red Star managed to keep conscious were impressive.

Being a Pegasus Swift Gale was very agile and flighty. Red Star used his magic to great affect in trying to keep her low to the ground. From what I saw ponies couldn’t throw punches or kicks like I could. Everything they threw was more of a straight jab than anything considering how their bone structure looked. But Swift Gale had found a way to use her wings to use two single handed swords like a human would. She was able to swing them in nice arcs, which with her wingspan could sometimes keep them out of opponents view. Especially when up close.

IF I had barely seen, then I can only guess if Red Star had seen when she brought her wings in close and threw them upwards, propelling Red Star onto his back legs. From Swifts position she then quickly flipped back and then with what seemed like enough time; turned around and bucked Red Star out of the ring.

“You are getting better Red Star no doubt about that. But your close quarters combat strategy is a bit rusty, brush up on that before our next spar.” She said to the still on his back unicorn. A groan was all she got in return for an answer.

“Alright next up is the big bad human.” She said turning to face me. I could tell that she was grinning underneath her veil.

“Well this should be something. Hopefully I don’t let down you expectations of me Swift.” I said as we both took our place in the circle. My body had mostly moved on autopilot while I was getting into position. My mind at that second was split into two parts, one was thinking of moves to use, and the second was praying for my life and safety.

“Jarvis will you count us down from ten to start?” I asked my armor as it enclosed around me when I gave it the thought to.

“Ten…Nine…” Jarvis began.

“On go?” Swift asked from across the ring getting into a stance as the countdown went on.

“Six…Five…” I simply nodded in response.


Minutes Later…

“Dan…Dan are you okay…are you conscious?” were the next words I remembered hearing.

“I think he is coming around please stand back.” I heard Jarvis say

“Jarvis…is that you?” I said harshly; it felt like I couldn’t breathe right. There was pressure on my face like I was laying on it but the rest of my body wasn’t lying flat on the floor. I could feel my forearms touching the inside of my legs. After a couple of seconds of waiting I started to move and found that there wasn’t much pain anymore. My helmet went down and I was greeted to the sight of the whole squad staring at me in worry.

“Do I got something on my face?” I tried to joke.

“We’re just trying to see if you’re still breathing after what happened.” Jonagold pushed the other out of the way to give me more space.

“Can someone remind me what exactly happened?”

“YOU DON’T REMEMBER!?!?! IT WAS ONLY ONE OF THE COOLEST THINGS I HAD EVER SEEN.” Flintlock was suddenly in my face for a minute as he shouted. And as quick as he had done that he retreated and started to act out what had happened.

“You and Swift Gale just stood there in cool poses after the timer had gone down.” He said standing on his back hooves and striking a ninja like pose. “And then WOSH!!! You both charged; Swift swinging her right sword forward and you throwing you arm wide in a what was it you called it?”

“Right hook?”

“Yeah one of those. And then you each stopped each other’s blow with you free limbs. Swift took upwards while you tried to figure out what to do next. You two tried to hit each other for the next coupe of minutes. Swift being a bit faster nailed you a couple of times but it didn’t look like it fazed you one bit. And then after she thought that you were tired out she flew up kinda high and came down with both swords pointing at you and that’s when you sprung your trap!” he stopped talking long enough to catch his breath and jump a couple feet in the air.

“Right when she got this close to you.” He moved his hooves really close together to make a point. “And the WHAM!!! You shot your arms out really quick and grabbed her fore legs and wings in one move!!! And then you head butted her and after that you tried something with your knee but it didn’t really work against her armor.” I had wondered why my knee felt sore; I guess I tried to knee Swift in the stomach.

“Yeah and then after that she backed off still reeling from that head butt; but she shook it off pretty fast and then charged again straight at you. Surprisingly you dodged it and were in her blind spot and when you started to attack you…” weirdly he stopped talking there. He looked away from like he was embarrassed.

“And then I…?” I looked around to anyone hoping for an answer. Everyone was doing the same thing except for Jonagold who looked like he was trying to hold back laughter.

“You grabbed my flank…” I looked to see Swift sitting a couple of feet away from me. She was blushing slightly.

“Oh…” I said as the words hit me and I thought about it for a second. I grabbed her flank…oh shit I GRABBED HER FLANK!!! “OH! Swift I…”

“Stow it private it was a good tactic I wasn’t really prepared for. And what happened afterwards was more of a reflex than anything.

“Do I even want to know what happened afterwards?” I asked Jona seeing as how he was the only one who wanted to talk about the subject.

“Well I’ve seen the same things happen to her at those nightclub thingies. And just like she’s done to other stallions…well…she bucked you.” He said chuckling.

“…ok…that still doesn’t explain the unconsciousness.”

“Well from what we could see and what you fancy armor told us; she kinda bucked you in your um…stallion parts.” He said before laughing out loud.

It took me a second to drink in all the facts. I grabbed Swift Gale’s flank. She responds in true mare fashion and bucks me. Because of my physiology she just happens to buck me in the balls. And from there the pain would cause me to pass out.

“Ok then…we are never speaking of this again.” I said giving everyone a glare. “So how long have I been out?”

“Long enough that gym time is over. Up an at em everyone we got time to catch a quick lunch before heading into town for patrol so move it on the double ponies!” Jonagold stated.

I got up as quickly as my body would let me. Feeling a bit sorry for me Swift helped to make sure I could get up and walk straight. Everyone in the squad went back to our barracks and grabbed a quick bite to eat. I settled for some apples as we headed out of the grounds.

“Hey Dan wait a minute.” Swift stopped me at the gate to the compound.

“What’s up?” I said finishing one of the apples I had grabbed.

“Well it’s about your armor. Since our armor has the magical charm it changes to the regular armor that you know when we exit, but yours doesn’t. And we can’t have all the civilians seeing you in your battle gear or at least in a color that looks official; so we have to find something to do about that.

“I believe I may have an answer to that Ms. Gale.”

“What did I say about calling me Sergeant, Jarvis?”

“My apologies I am still adapting to certain language protocols but sir if I could direct you attention to the little knob on you chest piece.”

“Yeah I remember it. How does it help?”

“If you turn it you can change the color of your armor.

“Oh really how does it know what color to change?”

“I have set some presets in it for you already including this default setting as well as both guard color armors.”

“Ok lets try this out then.” I reached for the knob and twisted it and within seconds the color of all my armor had turned into the normal gold color I had seen the day guards wearing. “How do I look Sarge?”

“Uh I don’t think the gold work on you it makes you look like a statue with pants. Try the night guard colors.”

I flicked the switch again and my armor turned into a dark blue color.

“Eh it looks better than nothing. Now come on your partnered with me for your first patrol.”

“This wouldn’t happen to be a type of apology for kicking me in the balls would it.” I said smirking in my helmet.

“No and if you bring it up again you won’t get an actual apology. Now hush its better to remain silent on patrol so we can hear what’s going on.

And with that I began my first patrol of Canterlot. I got a kick out of how many times a pony saw me and freaked out. I wanted to laugh but literally every time it looked like I was going to start Swift was staring at me. Of course as we passed by nobles I could see ones that were ready to gallop to the palace and ask Celestia what I was doing in the guard with armor.

Canterlot was a nice city very clean. It wasn’t one hundred percent clean but every time I saw a wayward piece of trash I also saw somepony pick it up; even the nobles did so. It was nice to be in a relatively calm city.

It wasn’t till almost an hour into our patrol that we finally came across something. We had walked into the market square and there were a group of ponies crowded around something and I could here a guitar from somewhere in the noise. But that was the second thing that caught my attention. The first was the sight of a little colt sitting across the square from the group looking at it and crying.

“Alright I guess we should do something about this cro…Hey Dan where are you going?” Swift Gale started as I walked away from the crowd and towards the colt. He had a very vibrant red mane; almost neon, the rest of him wash a nice tan color. He never took his eyes of the ground as I approached.

“Hey there little guy what’s going on?” I said trying to help.

“Oh just the world being unfair and stupid!” he said throwing his hoofs up in annoyance. He had a slight Trottingham accent on him it reminded me of Pipsqueak.

“Would you like to tell me what happened? I’m in the guard maybe I can help.

“Ok...” he said with a sniffle; wiping his nose on his forelegs. “Well it started when I had begged my parents to get me a guitar. I had seen the human called Dan play his music at the Grand Galloping Gala and I thought the way he played a guitar was awesome! And I thought that maybe I could try. So I begged my parents for a guitar and an amp for my birthday and they got it for me. I was so happy I practiced till I fell asleep. And then today comes and I was going to go play in the park. But then I got here and I was stopped by some bigger ponies. They asked me where I was going and I told them. Then one of them took my guitar saying that he was friends with Dan and that he learned guitar from him and that a little loser like me wouldn’t ever be able to play guitar right. Then he started messing with my guitar and playing it. I tried to say something but then ponies started to swarm hi to watch him play and I was quickly pushed back. And now here I am without my guitar and told that I’ll never be able to play guitar.”

“Well that’s not right?”

“You mean that I should be able to play guitar?” the colt said finally looking up at me. I brought down my helmet just to let him see who he was talking to.

“Well that and the fact that I never taught anypony how to play the guitar…at least not yet anyway.” The look on his face was priceless he just stared at me in shock before looking like he was going to scream.

“Oh whoa wait kid don’t scream just yet we still have to get your guitar back and its going to be much better if whoever did it doesn’t know I’m here yet. Hey Swift come here for a second.” I motioned for Swift to come closer.

“Dan what is going on…and who is this?” she asked pointing to the colt.

“Oh he’s a new friend and as it turns out the reason for the crowd is because some mean bigger ponies took his guitar. Isn’t that right?” the colt looked at Swift and shook his head. So I’m going to get it back and you are going to…” I said picking the colt up and putting him on Swift’s back. “Are going to keep an eye on the kid while watching my back ok?” I said turning around and heading for the crowd without waiting for Swift’s reply.

It was only a little hard to get through the crowd seeing as how I could step over most ponies. Many ponies realized who I was and moved out of my path making it easy for me to reach the front. I began to hear the sound of guitar the closer I got to the front as well as a voice that I began to recognize.

“Oh yeah me and Dan go way back! I met him only after a couple of days after he first got here. I was even there at the Grand Galloping Gala when he first played. It was after that when he taught me everything I know about the guitar.

“Is that really true it sounds kinda farfetched to me?” I said getting the attention of anypony who hadn’t seen me yet except for the pony with the guitar.

“Yeah of course it’s true what do you take me for a liar?” he said finally facing me. And sure enough it was a face I realized.

“Well the thing is I haven’t taught anyone about the guitar. And if I did I especially wouldn’t teach it to you. How have you been Douchebag?” I said to the pony I had once played a game of hoofball against.

“Wha What are you doing here?” he asked nervously his voice squeaking a bit.

“Don’t you see the fancy armor? I’m in the guard. I’m here with my patrol partner Sergeant Swift Gale. We just happened to walk into the square and see the crowd of people. We would normally just make you disperse but then I saw this little colt here.” I pointed to the colt poking his head of Swift’s she didn’t seem to mind the weight. “And he told us a story about how someone just went and took his guitar from him and told him he would never be able to play guitar.”

The crowd slowly looked form the colt back to Douchebag and his friends and gave them some angry looks.

“Now wait a minute that’s not how it went down.”

“Oh I’m sure you have your side of the story Douchebag but I also remember that you’re a liar and once tried to hurt one of my friends in a game of hoofball just because you were losing. But I’m gonna give you a chance. Let me hear how you play; if you do good enough you can keep the guitar and I’ll leave you alone.”

“Dan is that a good idea?” Swift said at my side.

“Just trust me ok Swift.” I said looking form her to the colt. “Do you trust me?” I asked him. He simply nodded his head slightly before I turned back to Douchebag.

“Alright then you get one shot and then I’ll see if I can do better. SO go ahead…dazzle me.” I said with a straight face.

Douchebag started playing and it was amateur at best but some of the ponies around that weren’t friends seemed to like it a bit. I could tell that he had messed with the strings though and that it was a bit out of tune. Once he finished he got some applause and took the guitar off and handed to me.

“So how was that.” He said with a smug grin.

“Oh golly gosh I don’t know how I’m gonna beat that.” I said with obvious sarcasm making a bunch of the ponies laugh.

“You’re horrible Dan’s gonna blow your non-existent pants off!” said the colt making ponies laugh harder.

“Hey kid how’s about you…” Douchebag started to say until he met gazes with Swift and promptly shut up to stop himself form getting his flank kicked.

“Ok then I think I’m just going to play a little warm up.” I said fixing the tuning so it would sound correct

“A warm up? That’s it?” Douchebag said tome thinking he had this in the bag.

“Yeah that’s it. And it goes a little something like this.” I said shutting up there and letting my fingers do the talking. It was a good minute and a half before finished but I could tell by the silence that everypony was astounded.

I looked up to see that Douchebag and his friends had snuck away knowing that I had beaten them again. The crowd cheered for my playing and then dispersed quietly afterwards leaving Swift, the colt, and I standing there.

“Huh they got away. Weren’t you going to punish them Dan I could fly and catch them?”

“Naw the embarrassment is punishment enough. They won’t come into this city or Ponyville again. Here’s your guitar kid.” I said taking of the guitar and putting it into his hooves.

“T...Thank mister.”

“Hey no needs for that just call me Dan.”

“Thanks Dan…Do you think that maybe one day I’ll be a good guitar player like you even though I don’t have hands?”

“Kid it’s not about having hands it’s about having heart. If you don’t have emotion your music isn’t going to sound good. Also don’t be like Douchebag just doing it for the fame and stuff. If you do good that will come but you have to do it for the music.”

“Wow.” The kid was lost in amazement.

“Hey before I go, I never got your name?”

“Oh I have to go too. And my name is Ziggy. Ziggy Stardust.”

“No shit.” I said under my breath so the kid couldn’t hear.

“Oh and Dan by the way do you…do you think that maybe I could get lessons form you some time?”

“Sure I don’t mind, just go into the castle and ask the princess. If you use your little kid cuteness they will give in and say yes I know it. Try tomorrow if you want.”

“That’s awesome. Thanks Dan!!!” he said as he took his stuff and ran down the street back home, no doubt to tell his parents what had just happened.

I stood there for a bit before Swift nudged me. “Come on let’s finish our patrol and regroup with the rest of the squad.

“Alright; oh and thanks for carrying the kid for me.”

“Eh no problem I guess that’s a favor for me hitting you in the balls then?” she asked.

“Yeah and that makes us almost even.”

“What almost even? What is that supposed to mean?”

“Well I do have two balls so I think one favor for each ball is appropriate isn’t it? Good? Then we are agreed. Let’s hurry up then.” I said as I started to move ahead of her as she stood there in silence.

“Wait what…argh Dan you little. GET BACK HERE!!!” I broke into a run as she began to chase me down.

Chapter 22: Hooray for pony cuteness!!!

View Online

Chapter 22: Hooray for pony cuteness!!!

Reveille sounded once again to start the morning and for some reason I could find anything against it to get annoyed at after hearing time and time again. Since today I didn’t have to wake up and discover that my armor was sort of alive I found it easier to fall into a normal routine. I suspected that if I slipped up though Jarvis would immediately tell me.

I cleaned myself up as quick as I could, grabbed my armor mittens and earpiece, had breakfast, and headed out the door with the rest of the squad. The only thing that was different was that Swift Gale banned Flintlock Spark from having coffee in the mornings to help him with his training.

“SO what’s on the menu for today Lieutenant?” I asked.

“Are you going to ask me that everyday Private?” he said giving me a deadpanned look.

“Well I have only been here like 3 days…and there’s no schedule written up in the barracks.” I said back.

He opened his mouth to say something while we walked on but closed it to think for a second in thought. “Hmm you got a point. Well first up today us earth ponies and pegasus ponies get to take it a bit easy for training. It’s archery practice today so mostly the unicorns do the training. Others are allowed to participate but it’s kinda hard to work a bow with just tow of these.” He said waving a hoof in my face. “But you got those watchamacallits so I think that you’ll be fine if you wanna try.”

“You mean fingers?” I said seeing where applejack got here language skills from.

“Yeah those things. Do they help you with weapons or do you humans have some kind of fancy schmancy mind weapons?”

I laughed at Jonagold’s words it was hilarious; I could see how they could think that. “I guess you’ll just have to see at the range.” I said as we walked towards what I assume was an archery range. As the group and I got closer I could hear the rhythmic tune of bows strings letting lose and the “thwack” sounds of arrows hitting their targets. We came within view of the range and stopped at a fence. I had remembered the same type of setups at camps that I went to when I was younger.

But instead of politely asking the range master permission to enter Jonagold instead started shouting. “HEY SIX CAN YOU GET YOUR FLANK OVER AND GIVE US PERMISSION TO GET IN ALREADY!!!” His shouting was loud enough to disrupt everyone at the range. From the earth ponies and Pegasi ponies taking a break to the unicorn ponies who were actually shooting. I saw a couple of arrows go veering off in a bunch of different directions. I heard a couple of groans as well as what I think was at least one scream of pain.

Jonagold simply stood there with a straight face as silence reigned for a couple of seconds. And then from the back of the range came more shouting.

“JONAGOLD APPLE!!! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT ON MY RANGE?” a mare came walking down to us from the far end of the range. Her fur color was a nice red, less the how Big Mac was but definitely not pink. Her armor looked like a ponified version of a typical archer from a fantasy movie, not plate like and bulky but more light with protection where it counted. It also had a hood which was down so anypony would clearly be able to see the anger on her face.

“YOU MAY BE A LIEUTENANT BUT YOU ACT LIKE SUCH A COUNTRY BUMPKIN SOMETIMES I SWEAR IF IT WEREN’T FOR THE FACT THAT WE’RE COUSINS I WOULD PUT A QUIVER IN YOU AND TELL THE PRINCESSES AND YOUR WIFE THAT IT WAS A WEAPON ACCIDENT!” she kept screaming even as she got within an in of Jona’s face. Jona just stood there like a statue as the mare finished yelling at him. He gave her a chance to huff, puff, and collect her breath.

“Does that mean we got permission Six?” he asked.

“Yeah your squad can go in...Except for you big fella.” She pointed at me. I watched as everyone left Jona and me to our fate. The mare walked up to me and proceeded to look me over. She could see that I was a bit surprised and scared since I didn’t have my helmet up. She was also one of the first ponies to just stop looking at me and start poking me as well.

“So I’ve heard some things about you. I also saw your fight with the Princess. I have to saw there are some here that think that you should be punished for trying to fight with the princess. There are also some nobles that heard about it and kind of want you to be hanged.”

“That seems kinda harsh. Let me guess Blueblood is the one leading the charge?”

“Don’t you mean Prince Blueblood?”

“No, no I don’t” I hadn’t liked him since we met at the gala and I sure wasn’t going to use some title for a vain and pompous asshat.”

“Well in any case your right. Oh and by the way; Dan is it?” She asked me. I nodded yes to give her an answer. “Right then since it’s your first time here and also the first time me; as well as everybody else here is gonna see someone besides a pony shoot a bow I think you know what’s going to happen.”

“You are going to make a big scene and I’m going to have to go along with because I have no choice?” I said knowing that was probably what she meant.

“Oh Jona you did wonders picking this kid up he’s smarter than a lot of recruits.” She said to Jonagold before turning back to me. “The name is Six Shooter by the way if you were wondering. Now come on in and follow me let’s get this over with.

I managed to look at Jona before Six started shouting again; this time at everypony at the range. “Well Well Well Everypony it looks like we are gonna get a little show today. We all now get to see how Equestria’s first human does with one of our fine weapons.” As usual all the heads in the vicinity turned to face me. I wish that I had my helmet up just incase I was accidently blushing. I kept following six as she basically led me to and empty lane.

“Here’s your bow and you get two practice arrows to get your bearings. After that we start counting points.” She then pointed to a board where a list of everypony who was shooting was labeled and points were being tallied for their shots.

The bow was a simple recurve bow; I hadn’t expected them to have figured out the compound bow yet. It was about the right size for me; I picked it up and found the right grip to hold it. I could feel many pairs of eyes on me as I set my feet and held the bow in my left hand. I grabbed my first arrow and knocked it on the string. I drew up my bow and pulled back on the string with two of my fingers. I was focused on my target ahead of me; although I couldn’t quite tell how far away it was. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Six Shooter taking notes on my posture and form. I held the sting back as I aimed. I inhaled one last time and slowly exhaled holding my breath from that point. I simply let go and watch the arrow go.

It flew pretty well for my first shot but still ended up landing a bit short of the target. I heard sighs, oohs, and laugh coming from all around. It didn’t bother me really. I said nothing as I thought about it for a second and quickly picked up my second arrow.

“Are you sure you wanna do that so quickly there Dan. You don’t want to miss a second time now do ya? Oh by the way I forgot to mention we set the targets today out around 50 feet so make sure you…” she said as I made a quick adjustment and let loose my second arrow.

This time I hit the target; it wasn’t a bull’s-eye but I managed to hit the eight ring. I let the bow fall to my side. I looked around; many ponies ha varying expressions on their faces. From what I could see of my squad they had looks of approval. Others were in disbelief, and I thought for a second I saw a group that was frowning at the fact that I had succeeded.

“So did I do well?” I asked Six. She returned my smirk and then punched me in the leg.

“Ok I think we all get it Mr. Smartass. Now let’s get you some arrows and see how well you do.”

“The next couple of hours flew by as I shot with what I cam up with as the term, a “barrel full” of arrows. And by the time we were told to stop I had somehow managed to wrangle myself into tenth place. Almost everyone else in my squad who participated was behind me in terms of rank except for Flash Bang and Flintlock Spark. After the time was up everyone made sure to make sure the area was spick and span or else punishment would come from Six.

The squad and I made our way back to the barracks afterwards but we all stopped when we came across another squad. We stood there for a second as one of them made their way forward. It took me a second to notice that he was glaring straight at me.

“Hey you.” He said just to make sure you had my attention. And just to be a smartass I did the funny thing and looked behind me to see if anyone was there.

“Ha ha very funny now pay attention you freak.” I was ready to dismiss him until he said that last word.

“Ok it seems I got your attention. Now listen up; you happened to knock me out of the top ten in archery today. Do you know what squad I belong to? We are Omega squad; we are the best squad in the guard; and we don’t take to kindly to anybody breaking “the rules” around here. Now I don’t care if your squad likes you as a freak but that doesn’t mean you can come in here and start showing us normal ponies up.”

“So what are you going to do about it?” I said finally deciding to make my move.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me. Listen I don’t care if you call me a freak but don’t go insulting anypony in my squad. As for your squad; I’ve only been here a couple of days so no, I don’t know the whole squad power hierarchy whatever you want to call it. And if you got a problem with me then let’s find a way to settle it man to stallion.” I moved around my squad and straight up to the unicorn until I was looking straight down at him. Although I had to give him some props for not flinching or anything as I towered over him.

“OK then how about we just have little match? First one to give up or go unconscious?” he said.

“Lieutenant you got any problem with this?” I turned my head slightly so I could see Jona in the corner of my view.

“None as long as you don’t make us late for palace duty. You can fight your own battles.” And with his words the unicorn and I got ready. Our squads formed a circle around us.

I brought my full armor up thinking that it would be better to error on the side of caution just in case this was one of the ponies that didn’t approve of me in the guard.

“Someone give us a countdown or something?” I asked the ponies around us.

“Allow me.” Swift volunteered. She raised her hoof in the air to signal to get ready. Both I and the unicorn readied as we waited for the signal.

“And…FIGHT!!!” Swift yelled bringing her hoof down.

“The unicorn was the first to move. I hadn’t exactly thought of a plan yet. The unicorn charged at me and I could see that he was charging some kind of magic with his horn. I decided that defense would work the best for the moment. The stallion plowed into my stomach horn first and fired his spell. It felt like getting hit by a moving wall and it managed to knock me off my feet.

I flew backwards a couple of feet and slid on my back with the unicorn still on my stomach. A dust cloud settled over me and the unicorn as I finally came to a stop. When it settled he was now standing on top of me.

“Well now I hope you can see the power of Omega squad. Did this little exercise teach you anything?” I could literally hear the smugness in his voice. But unfortunately he forgot some things.

“Yeah it did.” I said as I threw my arms around him as quick as I could; catching him off guard. “I learned that you’re incompetent when it comes to checking if your opponent is actually unconscious. And I also learned that you let you defenses down way to early.” I said as I gave him a head butt to disorientate him. I then turned him around, put one arm around his neck, and then clasped my hands together to put him in a chokehold.

“Now this move in my world.” I said out loud for everyone to hear “Is called a chokehold. One of the good things about them is that they are great submission moves.” The unicorn struggled in my grip, I slowly cut of his oxygen supply and within ten seconds he was unconscious. Afterwards I laid him down slowly and let his squad take care of him. Meanwhile the squad and I headed to the palace in silence; we would talk about it later.

“I remember once hearing one of the ponies in my squad saying that they would prefer to be on town patrol over palace duty any day. And after the first hour or so I kind of agreed. We had the “honor” as the nobles liked to say to keep watch over the throne room. We were greeted by Celestia and Luna sitting on their thrones. Shining Armor and Cadence were also there but the Lieutenant left with them as soon as we got in to room. That left eight of us to guard the entire throne room.

We got there right in the middle of the day court. Many ponies were lined up to ask something of the princesses. And usually they took care of it in the way that they saw best. And in most cases it meant turning down some nobles request for something that would make them seem more grandiose. It took awhile but eventually the princesses heard all the requests. After the petitioners had filed out everything got a lot more peaceful.

“Oh finally a break, I swear there are more petitions from the nobles every day.” We all heard Celestia say as she and her sister rose from their thrones and took a well deserved stretch. “Well how is everyone doing today?” she asked all of us. Red Star and Shadow Fire moved past her to see if Luna needed anything. From where I was I think I could see Luna chuckle a bit as they sort of fawned over her.

“Well from were I was standing Celestia I think somebody need to ask you the same question.” I said to her which in turn cause most of the ponies in the squad to give me a confused look.

“Dan you don’t just call her Celestia. It’s either Princess Celestia or just Princess, now apologize!” Swift Gale started to chew me out but stopped when Celestia intervened.

“It’s quite alright Sergeant. After Dan’s heroics at the factory he and I came to an understanding about things. I have allowed him to call me by my name only.”

“And she won’t admit it in case she offends you but she would also like it if her subjects; including her guards also just called her by her name so she can feel more normal.”

“Dan!” Celestia gaped that I gave away something she had told me.”

“Well you never said it was a secret and you should admit that it’s true and start being more open. It’s true just like the fact that you and most ponies like to get scratched behind the ears.” I stared at the room of ponies who were again staring at me in shock which now included one princess. I simply nonchalantly stared back until Luna trotted up to my side.

“He is right you know Tia; I’ve told all my night guars to simply call me Luna if they feel like it. Oh and right about the scratching thing too. Speaking of which Dan do you mind?” she said tilting her head towards me.

“Oh sure thing.” I said retracting one of my gauntlets. I lifted my hand to Luna’s head and started scratching her behind the ears. I could tell that Red Star and Shadow Fire were giving me intense looks of jealousy and Luna moaned a bit at my scratching. Celestia moved towards me to say something but was interrupted by Swift.

“Um princess?”

“Oh yes Sergeant Gale?”

“Is What Dan said true?” Celestia was taken aback a little by her forwardness.

“Um well…yes I guess I have to say that he is correct.” She said admitting defeat sinking down and sitting on the floor. “It has been so long and I’ve always been referred to in a royal way and even if just for awhile it would be nice to feel normal to more than just my sister and Dan.”

“Oh really that’s all? Well that’s easy; if you would like us to do that I think we can manage Celestia!” Flintlock seemingly came out of nowhere to appear between Celestia and Swift Gale. Celestia just stared at him for a second; he was smiling out of both idiocy and concern.

Celestia stared at him for a minute before she shut her eyes and smiled. “Thank you Flintlock. I guess I forget sometimes who easy something simple can be.”

“See I told you that was the right answer.”

“Dan would you like to have another little spar?”

“Oh I think that would drastically cut into Luna’s scratching time.” I said looking down to the princess of the night.”

“Oh I agree with Dan that’s not a good idea.” Celestia looked like she was about to retort when there was a knock on the throne room door. It opened slowly and another guard popped his head in looked at the scene. Choose to disregard what he was seeing and spoke.

“Um Princesses there are two ponies here that would like to ask something of you.”

“Well the court has ended for the day and I don’t believe that we have any appointments.”

“Um it is a filly and a colt your majesty and the colt said that he was told that he could come here and ask you a question…” the guards voice faltered a bit.

“Oh children? ...ok then send them in.” she said to the guards. “Luna get up you don’t want children to see you at the mercy of a relaxation treatment do you?”

“Ooohhh...fine.” She said as I stopped my scratching. Both the sister made their way to the middle of the room and waited for the kids to come in. It took a minute but after the door opened again two heads popped out past the edge of the door. And I recognized one of them because of the hair. After the heads retreated the two walked in; one of them was Ziggy the colt I had met the day before and helped with his guitar problems; but I didn’t know who the little filly was. They slowly entered; Ziggy was carrying both his guitar and amp and the filly seemed to have saddlebags that had stuff in them. The looked t the princesses in awe as the finally came up to them.

“Why hello my little ponies. What brings you here today?” The princess gave them her warmest most serene smile like she gave all ponies. The two just stared for a second before the filly snapped out of her daze. She looked at Ziggy and after seeing that he couldn’t speak gave him a nudge in the side. That was enough to wake him up.

“Oh uh hi princesses you both look very nice today!” he said all of a sudden. Now being in a room full of adult the rest of the squad and I all tried hard to keep a straight face…for about five seconds. The room burst into laughter as Ziggy realized what he had done; his face turned almost as red as his hair.

“Oh why thank you. Now please tell me your name and why you have come here please.” It wasn’t a command more of a plea so she wouldn’t scare the little ponies.

“Well ma’am I MEAN PRINCESS!” he quickly corrected himself earning a chuckle from Celestia. “Well it started yesterday when…” and he went on for awhile explaining what happened. The whole room listened at the tale being told. I looked over to Swift noticing she had a smile one as if remembering something nice. “And then he told me to come here and ask you if I could get guitar lessons from him. So I guess my request is princesses. Can Dan teach me to play guitar and be a cool musician like him?” and with that sentence he did something I had seen the Cutie Mark Crusaders do a bunch of time. His lower lip stuck out just enough and his eyes widened very much.

Luna was the first to react to it; her hoof immediately went to cover her mouth and it looked like her eyes were watering up a little. Celestia eyes widened a bit as her mouth hung open slightly. They both stood motionless until Ziggy dropped the look at which it took Celestia a couple of second before she spoke again.

“Oh well I don’t see any reason as to why that would be wrong. But are you sure this isn’t just a way for Dan to get off his guard duties?” she asked Ziggy.

“OBJECTION!” I shouted throwing my arm out forward an pointing to Celestia. “This is clearly for education purposes; I should make sure that the future of Equestria knows how to rock.” If I had a couple of bits every time I had a room of ponies stare at me I would probably be rich.

“…Well that…is at least somewhat of a suitable answer. Ok then I’ll allow these music lessons for you Ziggy.” She said after haring my objection. Ziggy face lit up with a wide smile. “but only if they are done here in the throne room; I think my guards could use some music to relax while they wait for their shift to be over. Don’t you think so to Ziggy?” Ziggy was happy at first but when she said that he had to perform for the rest of the guards he became nervous. He looked around the room at the other guards and then back to me. I gave him a shrug and waved him on as if to say “What have you got to lose?”

“Ok then princess I think I can do that.” He put on a face with as much determination as he could muster.

“Well then my sister and I will take a seat and let you two have at it.” Celestia said turning around to head back to our throne. I broke off from my post at the wall and walked over to Ziggy.

“See Ziggy that wasn’t so hard you did everything I told you to.”

“Easy? Maybe for you; your tall you can stare eye to eye with the princesses. It’s different when you’re small.”

“I guess that’s true. Oh by the way who’s your little friend here?”

“Oh this is Jett Note. She’s a friend of mine from school. She wants to be a songwriter so I brought her along thinking that maybe she could help with something…if that’s ok?”

I looked down at the filly and saw that she basically looked like a punk rocker. Her fur was a dark bubblegum pink and her mane was black; it was cut short and hung around her face.

“Sup.” Was the first thing she said to me.

“I’ll think she’ll be a fine addition. Now come on lets see what you got.” I said as we basically sat down in the middle of the throne room. It turned out that Ziggy had a pretty good handle on the guitar. He wasn’t that fast but he could still fret nicely even though he had hooves. I left it to one of those “ponies can still do things with hooves that they technically shouldn’t be able to” mysteries. The throne room was filled with the sounds of the guitar from basic melodies to major riffs.

“Well Ziggy I think you got a pretty good handling on it. Maybe we should try out a song or something to see how well you do overall.”

“Oh oh you can use the one I wrote.” Jett said speaking for the first time in awhile. She had mostly watched us and a few times I had seen her scribbling something in a notebook.

“But that one is kinda weird.” Ziggy seemed kind of uncomfortable with it.

“What’s weird about it?” I asked.

“Well she kinda made a story about me…not me know like a weird rock star superhero version of me. And the title of the song is my name. it’s just…”

“Ziggy listen to me for a second.” I said cutting him off. “In the world of music there are no boundaries. Heck back where I come from there are songs for just about everything you can think of. Even if the subject is weird, scary, or otherwise. What matter though when you think about if you like the song is if the pony playing the song is doing it right and making it sound like something people will enjoy. You never know what people will like. But at the end of it all you also have to enjoy what you are doing. Do you get what I’m trying to say?”

“Ziggy looked at me for a bit before looking at his hooves and concentrating for awhile. He mulled my words over before finally saying “Yeah I guess your right Dan.”

Jett jumped at his answer. “So you’re gonna try my song?”

“Sure Jett I’ll play your song. But I need some other ponies to play with.”

“Oh I believe I can help with that. Luna said after overhearing from her throne. Her horn glowed and a drum set as well as two guitars popped into existence and settled on the floor. “It’s a unknown fact that I actually like playing the bass from time to time.” Everyone looked in surprise at Luna; including her own sister. “What? I learned after I got back from the moon. Now are we just going to stand here and talk or are we going to jam?”

We snapped back to reality after that. I took up the drums, and Jett knew how to play guitar a little decided she would be on rhythm guitar.

“Well Ziggy you ready? Got the lyrics down?”

“Yeah I think so. I hope I don’t mess up though…”

“Oh just stay positive and let the music do its work. Now get ready. One Two. One Two Three Four!”

The song started of with Ziggy playing the guitar for a bit and we joined in after a coupe of seconds. Ziggy seemed really into it and it showed in his voice. He tried to sound a little adult like and it felt like it fit the sound of the music. He was right that the lyrics Jett Note wrote sounded a bit weird although from what I could tell it was like the song was part of a larger story.

We finished playing and everything was silent for a bit. Ziggy looked around to see how people would react to it. I was smiling; I liked the song. After looking at me he looked to the princess. She was sitting at her throne and her eyes were closed.

“Um Princess…” Ziggy squeaked in here direction. Her eyes opened slowly like she had just awoken from a good nap. “Didja like the song?”

“Oh I thought it was wonderful. I haven’t heard something that different in a long time. I think you should keep that one; in a couple of years I think you could make it a hit.”

“Really!!! You mean it!?!?” Ziggy’s face lit up with happiness.

“Yes I do. Do you have any other ideas for songs like that?”

“Well it’s not a full song yet but I had an idea for a song about a pony in space.”

“Well I can say that I would certainly like to hear that seeing as I know what that is like.” Luna said causing everyone in the room to laugh. It was a good way to end everything for the day.

Chapter 23: Oh IT...IS...ON!

View Online

Chapter 23: Oh IT…IS…ON!

After the guitar lessons the rest of that week flew bye and by the time I realized I was waking up to the start of the week where Jonagold said some kind of event was going to happen. I woke up and noticed that everyone was not moving as fast as they would during a normal day.

“Hey why is everyone moving so slowly? Don’t we have something to do today?” I asked no one in particular.

“Not yet Private. We don’t have to do anything but relax and prepare until noon. That is when the event is gonna happen.” Jonagold told me as he help set up the breakfast table.

“Any chance you are going to tell me what the event is?” I had been wondering for a little while.

“Well I guess I can tell ya. The event today is the all guard obstacle course performance test. It shows your progress over last year and then afterwards we get to the bigger event which is the annual Equestrian War Games.”

“War Games? Like as in mock battle?”

“You bet your behind. Every year all the guards from across Equestria gather and during a selection and sign up. There are two teams fight out in a scenario of one team’s choosing. From it can come promotions and such but mostly what you get is the glory.”

“Huh okay that sounds interesting. So how exactly are teams…?” I started to ask but a knock on barracks door interrupted me.

“Ah that must be our guests, Private Dan could you get that?” Jona said to me. Wondering who could be here at this hour I walked over an opened it.

“Welcome to Alpha Squad barracks howOOF!!!” I said as something hit me in the stomach. It happened two more times after that in quick succession; and since I wasn’t wearing my armor it hurt quite a lot. Once I hit the floor I was greeted to some voices that I hadn’t heard in quite awhile.

“DAN!!!” I heard three voices shout at me. Looking upward from my position on the floor I saw the face of the Cutie Mark Crusaders staring at me with huge smiles on their faces.

“Hey girls how have you been?”


I couldn’t find any words to say anything as Applebloom ranted from atop my chest and her friends did nothing to stop her. After she stopped to take a breath I managed to hear a snicker coming from behind me. Looking back I saw Flintlock Spark trying to hold in some giggles. I wanted to say something but then Applebloom hopped off my chest and slowly walked over to him.

“Is something funny Specialist Spark? I’m talking to a friend who I haven’t seen in awhile and you think there is something to laugh at?” she stopped less than a foot away from him and stared straight up into his face. I could see a little fear on Flintlock face as he looked down at the filly.

“I believe I asked you a question Specialist Spark.” Her tone was cold and her face showed the same.

“Ma’am?” Flintlock voice waivered.

“I asked you if you thought something was funny... I want an answer Specialist.”

“Nothing. Nothing was funny ma’am it was only a slip I didn’t mean it I’M SORRY!!!” he broke at the end and fell forward to the floor and put his head to the floor in apology. Applebloom held her icy stare as she slowly walked to the prone form of. When she stopped walking she was standing directly over Flintlock’s head. She stood there for awhile before her scowl melted and was replaced by her normal smile.

“Ah I’m just playing with you Flintlock; Dad told me I should be all hard on one of you and you just happened to be the lucky winner.” She said patting him on the head. The room stayed quiet for a minute before Jonagold laughed as loud as he could while he picked his youngest daughter up.

“AHHAHAHAH!!! Now that’s how you do it. Just like I told you Applebloom. You did great; now where’s your sister?”

Looking up from my place on the floor again I looked to the doorway and saw some familiar silhouettes.

“Well well girls look who we have here. And as usual he’s on the ground. How’s it been partner?” Applejack was the first to step inside the barracks. She was followed by Rarity, then Spitfire, and lastly was Crystal Clear.

“Uh hi girls…how’s it been?” I said as I managed to sit up after Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo looking at the four mares.

“Oh you mean how has it been going since you got in a fight with your marefriend, left the town and left us to clean it up, and then joined the guard to fix whatever masculine problems that you might have.” Rarity showed just how much she missed me with her sarcasm and wit which caused everyone to laugh.

“Ok I deserve that. I totally deserve that.” I said getting to my feet again.

“Oh you deserve much more than that big guy.” Spitfire came over and nudged me. But considering the events that you are about to go through and how we may see you get beaten up a little I think that we can put aside or mare fury and wait a couple of days.” The smile on Spitfire’s face showed me that she was involved in this matter as well. I could hear bits of laughter coming from the whole room.

“Ok so Applejack I understand coming cause her father is in the guard. Spitfire you’re in the guard as well because of the Wonderbolts. Rarity probably came because Sweetie wanted to come. So Crystal besides the fact that I haven’t seen you in awhile; what brings you here?” I said trying to figure out everything here.

“Oh well my boss heard through the wire that a certain human was going to be in the guard’s yearly war game. And since I am your media liaison I get to come here and watch the festivities.” She said with a happy tone.

“Crystal Clear look at you. Started as a newbie reporter and now an official media liaison to a new species. You’re moving up in the world; I hope they upgraded your pay because you’re trying to keep up with me.”

“Wait you’re THE Crystal Clear?” I heard a voice say from across the room. I turned to see Scribble Page making his way over. “Wow it’s nice to meet you; oh sorry I forgot to introduce myself I’m Page Scribble WAIT! No no I meant I’m Scribble Page, I’m a fan of your writing it is very well done.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah I like to edit pieces of writing in my spare time and after reading your articles I really couldn’t find anything to fix it was a great read.” Scribble seemed to be love struck to me.

“Oh thank you. No one has complimented my writing like that before.” She said as a blush crept its way onto her cheeks and she looked away smiling.

“Um would you…. I mean one day do you think you would like to.” And now scribble started to lose it as he tried to ask something of the mare. Luckily I was close by to read the situation.

“Hey maybe you two should get coffee sometime and talk about writing and editing. With both your skills it could make for some interesting conversation.” I said nonchalantly as I walked past them. I noticed out of the corner of my eyes that both of them jump and started speaking faster than I could process. I think they agreed on their little “date”.

“So I see you’re still the same helping soul as ever.” Rarity said coming up beside me.

“Although I have messed some things up pretty badly… So how bad is the actual damage? I’m assuming that the rest of you also came and that since they aren’t here that they are with the princesses and Shining Armor.”

“And you would be correct dear. But don’t worry dear none of us are going to try to give you a bad image. All of us including the princesses and Shining have said that it you and Twilight that have to work out the problems. And only you two got it? This means no helps from us.”

“Honestly that’s probably the best scenario I could hope for. Do you think I’ll screw it up?”

Rarity stayed silent for a while thinking while she watched the Crusaders wander around the barracks looking at everypony and asking them questions; mostly about their Cutie Marks. “Honestly Dan you and Twilight have so many unknown variables even with my knowledge on relationships it hard to find a solution. But now I think that after the events are over you are just going to have to do your best.”

“Well I think that’s the best answer I am going to get so I’ll take it. Now let’s see if we can finally get something to eat. I need to make sure I got enough energy for the obstacle course.”

Everybody finally settled down and we had breakfast with our guests. Applebloom did a lot of talking; telling her friends about all the ponies in the squad. Some of them blushed at her words including Swift Gale when Applebloom said that she was so cool when she used her swords.

Noon came fast enough and everyone besides Spitfire left to go the crow stands where no doubt the rest of the girls from Ponyville would be. We stayed behind for a little to stretch and get ready for a bit when a group approached us.

“Excuse me we are looking for Private Dan?” I heard a mare’s voice call out.

“Yes?” I answered standing up from where I had been stretching.

“Oh it’s finally nice to meet you I’m Second Lieutenant Shock Point from Omega Squad.” The last words bought my full attention to the mare. Her mane was a lightning like yellow with her body being an electric blue.

“Is this about what happened last week?” I asked remembering the situation that happened with the unicorn.

“Well yes it was brought to our attention and I as well as the other two leaders of Omega Squad would like to offer an apology for our former squad member’s actions and performance.”

“Well then thank you I supp…wait what do you mean “former”?”

“It is the rules of Omega Squad that when you are allowed to join you are the best and win in any situation that you can. Losing is not an option. After his lose to you he was reprimanded and then let go from the squad.”

“Wouldn’t that be a little upsetting to his friends in the squad?”

“Aside from my two co squad leaders there is no friendship allowed in the squad. You are in to win and show your strength above all else.” Her voice was cold when she relayed that fact. The ponies behind her didn’t move or flinch at all to her cold words.

“Ah I see…then well apology accepted and I’ll see you at the obstacle course.” I gave a nod.

“Yes well then have a nice day Private.” She said with a small smile. Her squad broke in the center to allow her to walk through and then turned to follow. I stood there for a minute thinking before Swift floated into my view.

“Hey Dan it’s time to go. Is something on your mind?”

“Yeah Swift… What can you tell me about Omega Squad?

As we walked to the start of the obstacle course Swift filled me in. It turns out that the leadership is made up of one Pegasi pony, one Earth pony, and one Unicorn pony. Together the made a powerful team and were practically unbeatable. When they had started in the guard they had been fine enough, but over time their egos started to swell a bit. Now they wanted to only have the strongest squad. Pure strength was the only thing that mattered to them. Personality and other traits like that didn’t appeal to them. In a nutshell the wanted a strong little contingent that did nothing but obey.

I thought about it for awhile as I walked with the squad. As we walked the crowd of ponies got thicker and thicker until it was getting hard to walk. Ahead of me as we came into a clearing in the base was the starting line. Spitfire flew of to join the Wonderbolts and we were left waiting to be addressed. Now I couldn’t count how many ponies were here but I had to guess there might have been over to thousand ponies there. But for some reason as I looked around close to us I managed to see a familiar unicorn. I waded through the crowd over to him and gave him a poke. As he turned to look at me I saw his expression turn from sadness to shock.

“What are you doing here?”

“Do you mean here as in talking to you or here as in the obstacle course?”

“You know what I mean! You ruined everything for me you know. I was in a good squad and then you beat me in that fight. And if that wasn’t bad enough once Shock Point found out I got beaten by her and the other two leaders.” He showed me the bruises and bandages that coverer some of his body.

“…I’m sorry.”

“And then to top it of now you’re here to…you’re sorry?” he was confused by my sudden apology.

“I didn’t mean to get anyone hurt. I thought I could teach you a small lesson and that was it but I didn’t really know anything about Omega Squad yet. I don’t like anyone making fun of my friends; and I’ll protect them it’s what squad mates should do.”

“I…I…” he couldn’t find anything to say.

“But now that I know how Omega Squad treats their “former” members I’m starting to dislike them a bit more. It may lead to me doing something drastic.”

“I think that would be a bad idea to get on their bad side; despite their ways of running a squad they are still really powerful.”

“I’ll keep that in mind…but for now do you belong to a squad?”

“Um no I don’t I haven’t had a chance to ask or look around but I don’t see what that has to do with HEY!” he shouted his last word as I picked him up. I walked back over and when I had gotten back to my squad I set him down on the ground in front of Jonagold.

“Uh Dan why did you bring the unicorn that tried to pick a fight with you over here?” he asked.

“Well I’ve learned that he doesn’t have a squad and I was wondering if we had any room to fit him in ours. And before you ask it’s partially out of guilt and partial to piss Omega squad off; yes.” I could feel not only the eyes of my squad on me but also other ponies around me. Jonagold looked at me for a bit before turning his gaze to the unicorn who flinched under his stare.

“What’s your name son?” he asked the unicorn.

“Uh Corporal Storm Breaker; sir.” He choked out.

“Well then welcome to Alpha squad! I’ll get all that darned paperwork sorted out later but for now you’re with us and don’t let any other pony tell you differently got it?”

For the first time I saw Storm’s face light up in a smile. “Sir yes sir; thank you sir!”

“Alright then I think this shindig is about to kick off so introductions will have to wait; just do your best at the course and we will work it out from there.”

Storm Breaker seemed to understand but I think he was still confused that he wasn’t being told to be the best. Either way I looked away from him at the sound of trumpets coming from the stands. All the ponies look to find Princess Celestia and Princess Luna standing to address everyone.

“Welcome my little ponies to the beginning of the annual Equestria War Games. Today we will be holding the obstacle course race to determine our top ten and see who will be leader for one of the teams. After the race is over we will announce the scenario for this year and during lunch team signup will begin.” Celestia started first.

Luna stepped up next to talk “Now as for rules we are basically going to follow the same setup as last year. No hurting your fellow guards is the first, the second is that all Pegasi must maintain an six foot flight ceiling at all time; spells have been put in place so that if you reach seven feet you will be set back as a penalty. The third rule is that the course must be done without armor or shoes so please take them off. And the fourth and last rule is that otherwise there are no rules. Compete as you like and have some fun out there.” The crowd resonated with Luna as they cheered.

“Now please everyone get ready.” All the guards made there way to the starting line. We were all in one huddled mass. Ponies were removing their shoes and trying to make sure that they didn’t hit anyone. Everyone in the squad managed to find a place for their shoes and armor. I was the last to put my armor in the pile and as I looked up into the stands and saw her. Our eyes only caught for a couple of seconds but we hadn’t seen each other in awhile so it seemed like forever. We stared at each other not moving until Jona called me back to the group. I broke eye contact with her hoping that the next time I saw her we would be able to talk.

Well all were ready to run As Luna flew over the starting; flag in mouth. She waited for a couple of seconds and the waved it vigorously to start the race. With a sound akin to a thunderstorm everypony took off. With al the shoving and pushing going on it was hard to stay with my squad but we believed that would be the best idea to overcome the obstacles that we would face. We all ran for about five minutes before we came to our first obstacle which was a giant warped wall. It was taller than six feet so the Pegasi couldn’t fly over it and some ponies were confused about how to get up it. I saw one pony try to run up it and flipped upside down and fell back.

“Well how are going to get up this?” Jona asked out loud. “Do you think you guys have enough magic to get all of us up there?” he asked all the unicorns in the squad.

“It okay guys…and Swift I got a plan for this.” I said before I started running at the wall. I imitated some of what one of the ponies I saw did and I started to run up the wall but when I got to the middle of the curve I changed it up and jumped as high as I could. Stretching my arms out I managed to grab onto the ledge and hung there for a second before pulling myself up. Once I got up I laid there for a second before turning over on my stomach. I held my arms out and yelled to my squad. “Ok now try to do what I did and I’ll catch you. Swift was the first to try it out; she ran up, jumped up, and held her fore legs out for me to catch. I grabbed her and pulled her over and assumed my position. One by one my squad ran up and I caught them and pulled them over. Plenty of other ponies tried to copy my method and were somewhat succeeding at it by the time the squad and I had gotten over and were on our way.

By this point the crowd had thinned considerably. It was much easier to run and get to and through obstacles. We caught up quickly to the top two squads which happened to be the Wonderbolts and Omega squad. We were about in the same place coming out of the last obstacle which was like a little gladiator where ponies were swinging Pugil sticks at us. At this point it was pretty much a straight race to the finish but the race had clearly taken its toll on my squad and the other two. I noticed that Storm Breaker was having a harder time than most.

“Storm are you okay?” I asked trying to conserve my breath.

“I’m fine it just hurts. But I think I’ll make it.” He said before he fell to the ground. The squad almost stopped before I waved them off. “Keep going I got him.” The continued on while picked Storm up and put him over my shoulders.

“What are you doing?” he was surprised.

“You’re hurt and if you keep pushing yourself to hard you are going to do something to your body that you are going to regret. So just rest for a bit and I’ll make sure you cross that finish line.”

“So you’re going to throw away a good place in the race just to help me?”

“No I think I can help you and get a good place so try to hold on as best you can; this might get a bit bumpy.” I started to run faster. I could feel Storm try to curl his legs so he had a better grip. Within a couple minutes I caught up to my squad who was catching up to the other groups with minimal distance to go.

“SO guys anyone want to kick it into overdrive?” I asked as we could see finish coming up.

“I think all the other guys are running on fumes but I still got a little gas in the tank Dan.” Swift said as she took flight again. She had been alternating so she could save some strength.

“Ok then Swift on the count of three we bolt and we don’t stop till we pass the line got it?”

“Got it. One…Two…THREE!!!” she said as we took off. Most of the normal part of the Wonderbolts and Omega Squad was intertwined with each other and if I had looked back after Swift and I passed them I’m pretty sure I would have seen looks of shock. Up ahead I could make out five shapes; I guess that they would have been the leaders of Omega squad, Spitfire, and probably Soarin. Swift hit the finish line before me and I crossed carrying Storm Breaker on my shoulders. I could hear cheers coming but I did didn’t look up. I was too out of breath and energy to look up. Instead I looked at the ponies around me. Swift and Storm were ok and revealing in a bit of the cheering. Spitfire and Soarin we sharing surprised smiles on my left and to my right I finally got a good look at all three leaders of Omega squad; and the didn’t look happy with me at all.

It took a while after that but slowly everypony finished the race. And afterwards we went back to camp where a bunch of tables were set up with piles of food on them. Everyone started to dig in ravenously even though they were dirty, sweaty, and messy.

My squad sat at a table talking cheerfully about how Storm Breaker, Swift Gale and I had taken three of the top ten places.

“That was really something guys! Usually Omega squad takes a majority of the places but this year you guys limited them to half. And from the looks of it I don’t think they were too happy.” Flintlock said with a smug face as he chowed down on a sandwich.

“Attention everypony” Celestia’s voice boomed over everything silencing all the conversations. She as well as her sister, Cadence, Shining Armor, and the girls from Ponyville were sitting at a larger table up upon a stage. In front of that stage was a table where two scrolls were.

“We are now going to begin the team sign up. Now I ask that everyone form a nice line and please maintain an orderly line. And as for our top ten finishers they can skip the line and join whatever team they please. And as for the scenario this year we have created n are where we have decided it will be an attack and defense scenario with team A; leading the attack, and team B; leading the defense.”

As soon as Celestia had finished talking many ponies made a mad dash for the sign up table only to be stopped by the three from Omega squad. The pony that started talking was the earth pony; he had a brown coat with a black mane and was built like house.

“Alright then everybody; as of now me and my two friends are going to be taking control of A team. You can stay in line but we will determine if you good enough quality for the team; and if your not you will be asked to leave.”

I heard the words that came out of his mouth and was about half shocked; after listening to Shock Point earlier and finding Storm in his condition I wouldn’t have put this situation past them. I looked to Storm who seemed to be taking the whole scene in.

“So what are you going to do Storm? You have a free pass you could walk right up there and put your name down.”

“Yeah and probably risk another beating. Honestly after spending this little time at lunch and the whole race with you guys…” he motioned to the rest of the squad. “I’m starting to see what was wrong with Omega squad; I think I can realize that you do need personality to be able to form a cohesive unit that can work well; instead of the type of mindless drone army they are going to put together. I feel sorry for the smaller and somewhat weaker guards; those three won’t even give them the time of day even if they have enough heart for three ponies.”

I thought about what Storm said. It was nice to see he was changing his thinking a bit. But he was right about the leaders from Omega squad’s selection process. I could see them picking ponies out of line that were a bit scrawny, skinnier than most, or kind of short. I wondered what exactly I could do and that’s when the outline of a plan popped into my head.

“Dan you’re doing that smirking thing again…what are you thinking up?” Jonagold recognized that my deviousness was showing.

“Ok guys I have an idea and I’m going to go through with it. If you think it’s too insane don’ follow me I won’t hold it against you. I will say though that it will be a bit dangerous and there is no absolute guarantee for victory until I can work some things out. But if you want to know more you’re going to have to trust me on this one.” I said to the group as I rose from my chair.

I walked away from the table and headed toward the sign up table. As I got halfway there I could feel stares upon me and hear murmurings go through the crowd.

I made my way past the line and in a minute reached the table and found Omega squad looking at me.

“Well hello there Private. I was wondering if you would show up. Are you here to use you position to join us on the winning team?” Shock Point greeted me. I could see the list from my point and it looked like all the members of Omega squad were already on the list. And up at the top of the list was a space that said leader where three names had been written down.

“Well I thought about Second Lieutenant I really did but I don’t think I’m here for that reason.”

“Are you saying you don’t want to win the game?” she said confused.

“No; and I hope you don’t hold it against me; but I think…I think it’s time that someone showed you how the game is really played.”

I walked away from the A team line and over to the side of the table where the B team list was. Not a single name was written. I grabbed the quill and in the biggest letters I could manage I wrote my name into the leader section of the team B list. I quietly set the quill down and walked away. I turned around to see plenty of shocked faces except for a few ponies like Spitfire, Storm Breaker, and Jonagold. I walked past my squads table and headed back for the barracks and once I was out of earshot I said to myself “And now the game…is afoot…or in this case would that be ahoof?”

Chapter 24:All that you can be

View Online

Chapter 24: All that you can be.

My walk back to the barracks was pretty quiet. The noise from the lunch with everyone had severely died down when I decided to make myself the leader of team B. I didn’t really hear anything from anypony as I walked back to the barracks. I got back went to my things and pulled out some paper to write on. I thought that if I was seriously going to do this I needed to write my plan down.

I wrote for a couple of minutes before the barracks door slammed open. Swift Gale was behind it and I could see most of the rest of the squad standing behind her as well as some other ponies. I could tell she was angry without looking at her; I could feel the aura coming off her and crossing the room.

“ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR BUCKING MIND!!!?” I began to think that you could train to use the Royal Canterlot Voice from how well some ponies shouted. She walked into the barracks and straight up to me knocking anything.

“Truthfully it’s been awhile since I talked to a psychiatrist so.”

“Dan I’m kinda pissed off this is not the time for jokes. Why did you do it?” Her volume dropped but her tone remained firm.

“Guess.” I said softly finally looking away from my notes.

“…honestly Dan with you I can’t even begin to make and educated guess. Just what is going on?”

“What kind of life did you have in school Swift?”


“Were you the kind of girl that just excelled at most things? Always picked first for sports and activities like that?”

“Um yes…but what does that have to do…”

“Because I was the opposite of that. I wasn’t the best growing up. I wasn’t fast, tall, strong; any of that. I know what’s it’s like to be picked last. I know what it is like to have someone judge you before being able to show them what you can do. And that if I would be given the chance; I would surprise everyone.”

I was about to continue when the door slammed open again. This time Spitfire walked in and she didn’t look angry at me in the slightest. In fact she was smiling. “Well Dan I got to say you are pretty surprising. I haven’t seen a team sign up go like that in…well ever. You should have stayed to see it.” She chuckled a bit at my expense.

“Well fill me in; what went down?” I had wondered if my ploy had worked.

“Well first off after you signed your name, had your little words with the leaders of Omega squad, and then turned on a dime and left; everything was still and dead silent. Heck I don’t think either of the princesses saw that coming. Heck the first pony to make a sound was Jonagold and he started laughing up a storm so bad that they had to get him a paper bag so he could breathe. Your squad then signed up behind you.” I looked back at Swift Gale who blushed a bit.

“Then after that it looked like no one else would but then one of the last people that Omega squad kicked out of the A team line went over and signed up for your team. And then slowly but surely other ponies that they kicked out of line started doing the same. But that wasn’t the weirdest thing that happened. The weirdest thing to happen by far was when ponies that were still in the A team line got out of line and started signing up with you. You should have the look on all of Omega squads’ faces. Heck, I think Shock Point was about to have a conniption fit. And if she didn’t then she certainly did when me and the rest of the bolts signed up with you.” She said smiling.

I looked at Swift who had an astonished look on her face; then I looked back to Spitfire. “Your serious about this, I could be a total hard ass leader?” I questioned her. She straightened up slightly and gave me a mock salute.

“Oh captain my captain; let’s call this me returning the favor ok?”

“Sounds good. So do you know how many actually signed up?”

“Well you can take a look I think everypony should be outside. Waiting to here a few words from their new “fearless leader”.

Looking to the door I could see a veritable sea of shadows moving. I audibly gulped trying to get my feelings in order. I went over to the table and gathered my notes and put them back with my stuff; I would get back to them later. I walked to the door and stopped for a couple of seconds bringing my armor up.

“Jarvis you awake?”

“I am always awake sir.” The mechanical voice said from my helmet making Spitfire jump back a bit in alarm.

“Well first introduce yourself to Spitfire here. And second; when we get out there take a head count ok?”

“Very well sir.” After his words faded I took a couple deep breaths and walked through the door. Outside there was a huge crowd of ponies; I couldn’t see then end of the crowd from where I was standing.

“Sir I can’t get a clean count from this position; might I suggest getting a bit higher?” I took his idea into consideration and thought it was ok. I turned around and quickly climbed up to the roof of the barracks. Spitfire and Swift Gale joined me shortly after I got up there. In the front of the crowd were the rest of my squad and the Wonderbolts filled in behind them. And I wasn’t sure if the crowd noticed from down there but I could also see Princess Celestia off to the side trying see what I was going to do an not be noticed at the same time.

“Sir I have finished the count there are just over 500 ponies here.” Jarvis said breaking my concentration.

“Do you know how many guards there were overall?”

“I did not get an approximate number but I believe the number is below five thousand.”

“Alright then…I guess I should address my troops. Do we have a microphone in here?”

“Yes we do. Would you like to use it?”

“Yeah just let me say something to Swift. Hey Swift do you think you can bring everypony to order here?”

Yeah just watch.” She flew up a couple of feet above me and took in a deep breath. “ATTENTION!!!” her yell was loud enough o be heard even by ponies in the back of the crowd. Afterwards you could here the fumbling of hooves as everyone snapped to attention and faced forward. She fluttered down to the roof and gave me a look that told me I could continue.

I stepped forward tapping my helmet to make sure the mic was on. I stood on the edge of the roof looking out at a sea of ponies that I was going to lead into some kind of battle. I quickly thought of every speech I had ever heard and decided that I would just adlib when I needed.

“Now I want you to remember…the no dumb bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it…by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country.” I could see that some of the ponies were a bit confused by my opening words.

“I’m not going to ask why any of you signed up for my team. I believe I already know the answer to that. I know that many of you want to be given a chance. A chance to show that even though you aren’t the strongest that you have something that apparently Omega squad doesn’t care about. See I’ve figured out their game; they want to have a team made of people that won’t question them or their motives. They want to command a large group that doesn’t have chemistry. They think that in their squad they have enough intelligence, cunning, ingenuity between all of them that they can simply throw numbers at the problem and win and take all the glory they can. But we…we will be different. Omega squad wants ponies that will fight for them, but I am different. I don’t want you to fight for me…I want you to fight with me!!!” I paused for a second. Apparently the crowd was very appreciative of my words and was getting excited.

“All of us here together we have a purpose now. . We will be the group that will show everypony what a group of united soldiers can do. This will be an even t that many will not forget. Are you with me on this?” The crowd cheered. “Alright now I want you to cheer louder. Let Omega squad and their group hear you. Drown them out in noise! Let them now what is going to happen and who they are up against! THEY HAD THEIR TIME! BUT NOW…THIS IS OUR TIME!!!” The group roared into frenzy as I finished. The volume was through the non-existent roof. It went on for minutes before ponies had to stop to breathe and such. Afterwards I told everyone to go back to their barracks and that instructions would be given tomorrow. I climbed down off the roof as was met with the rest of my squad.

“Well Dan I got to say that was a mighty fine speech.” Jonagold complimented me.

“Yeah even though I ripped some of the lines from other people.”

“Sometimes it is appropriate to do so Dan. The words of others can even help the person speaking to do better. Trust me I’m old enough to know.” Princess Celestia stepped out of hiding place. Everyone quickly bowed besides me. Besides the speech, the race, and basically declaring a small war it had taken all of my energy to stay awake; if I bowed I think I would fall over and pass out.

“Enjoying the show Celly?” I caught looks from my squad and the Wonderbolts for that nickname.

“Oh very much I do have to admit I have grown a little tired of seeing Omega squad string arm their way into victories.”

“Why Princess I didn’t know you had such bloodlust.” I said in a mocking voice.

“Well when you have had an opponent that challenged you for a little; old feeling creep up and you get a bit excited.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Did I ever say it was you?”


“Glad you know who wins. Now onto business; I came to give you this.” She maneuvered a group of folders in her magic over to me. “These are the rules for the war games. They include many topics that will be discussed tomorrow at the leaders meeting. I suggest you bring a second in command with you. I suggest you read up some and plan ahead. Now if you all will excuse me I just won a bet and now a certain someone’s ace is mine.” For a second Celestia’s eye turned predatory before she turned to walk back to the castle. She walked a couple of steps before she stopped and turned around.

“Oh and by the way Dan because of your actions not only during the sign up but by also helping your teammate during the race. It has been made that you are being giving a rank advancement. Congratulations Staff Sergeant Dan.” She said with a smirk before leaving.

I, the squad, and the Wonderbolts stood there in shock for a bit. I was just promoted past everyone else in the squad. I guessed it was partly because of my performance and partly to make myself look a bit better with my new troops.

“Well I can honestly say that was unexpected.” Flintlock as usual was the first to spit something out. Everyone shook themselves out of their stupor after that. Spitfire dismissed the rest of the Wonderbolts after that remaining behind to say something. But my first thought wasn’t on her; it was about Swift Gale. She looked up at me with a bunch of emotions on her face.

“Before you say anything Swift I got a question for you. Well more like a request. How would you like to be my second in command?” Now since coming to Equestria I had been keeping track of tasks that I did that I could do better the anypony. The first was catching; hands really helped in that situation. And now with my last statement I could add completely shocking ponies to that list; I thought that maybe I was getting a bit Gary Stuish; but I cross referenced it with how many time I’ve screwed something up, put my life in danger, and gotten myself hurt and I thought that I was just good at some things but definitely not anywhere close to perfect.

“Why would offer me that kind of position? I disagree with you on plenty of things!”

“That’s exactly the reason I offering it to you.” The whole group let out a “HUH?” in unison. “If I had a second in command that agreed with me on everything do you think I would good advice? No I need someone who is going to question me and also at times keep me in line. Heck there is an old old story about an emperor who every day when he walked amongst the people he ruled. Even though they cheered him and praised him he didn’t let it go to his ego because he had a man that every time walked beside him and told him “You’re only human.””

Swift ruminated on this for awhile. “Well…I guess that makes sense. I guess I will accept your offer then…but don’t expect me to go easy on you because of this OR the fact that you’re now my superior officer.” She said softly at first then sternly when she got to the end.

“Alright then now that it is settled everyone listen up!” I got everyone’s attention. “Now I am also going to need everyone of your to help. I’m not going to be able to instruct all of these ponies by myself that why all of you are going to help me out. The Earth ponies will help with the Earth ponies and so forth and so on. I will designate leaders tomorrow but know that some big things are gonna happen so. That includes you to Spitfire.” I motioned to her. “That’s it for tonight head on in.” I said before turning to Spitfire. “Had something you want to say?”

“Well actually you kind of answered it with your boss like words their…boss.”

“Oy now don’t start with that I’m going to lead you into one hell of a fight but I’m not trying to rule over anypony.”

“Oh I just busting on you. You’re always so susceptible to it.”

“Eh even I have my dumb moments. But yeah I’m going to be looking towards you to help with the Pegasi.”

“Well seeing as how I am an icon to most of them it shouldn’t be too hard.”

“Oh just wait till you see the plan and the training regimen.” I gave a bit of an evil smile. “Then let’s see how much they love you.”

“Just make sure it’s something that won’t kill them before the games ok?” she said taking to the sky.

“That’s ok sir.”

“I’ll think about it!” she said flying away.

I laughed to myself for a bit looking at her fly away, then looking at the info Celestia gave me, and then back to my barracks and my squad inside. “So much to do so little time…maybe I should make a checklist.” I said letting my thoughts roam to Twilight for a second. It had only been a couple of weeks and I had seen her for only a couple of seconds. I knew we were going to have to talk but thanks to my actions I had to put it off till after the war games. I grabbed a pen from one of my pockets and wrote on top of the first folder I had all the while talking to myself.

“War Games Checklist. Last step: Talk to Twilight…”

Chapter 25: Blood, Sweat, Tears, and just and bit of Soiled Armor

View Online

Chapter 25: Blood, Sweat, Tears, and just a bit of Soiled Armor.

It was early in the morning in Celestia’s study and the room was as quiet as a crypt. “The tension was palpable as I along with Swift Gale sat on the opposite end of a table from the leaders of Omega Squad. The three of them didn’t stare at me all at once but every time one stopped looking another one took their place. Each of them also had a different type of stare. Shock Point had a stare like a secretary staring at from across a desk. The Earth pony named Rock Crush stared at me like an angry pro wrestler. And lastly the Pegasus who was named Wind Shear just stared at me like he was a bot bored at the whole situation.

The whole waiting felt like it was thirty minutes that passed but in reality it was five minutes before the doors to the room opened and Celestia and Luna walked in.

“I’m sorry we’re late my ponies. Sometimes those nobles can seriously seem to talk forever.” Celestia apologized to us.”

“Tis true I wonder sometimes if they actually need to stop breathe sometimes when they get on their rants.” Luna added.

“Maybe one day you should let me talk to them maybe I can knock some sense into them.” I joked. After sitting in a relatively weird silence I felt like it was the best thing to do.

“Your not going to threaten them with violence are you Dan?” Celestia had her trademark smirk on.

“Oh no Princess I’m would probably just yell at them to the point where all the stallions are crying like little fillies.”

“Hmm…well I’ll think on it and save it for later but for now we have some business to discuss.” Celestia said as she walked up to the table and tapped it twice. The lights dimmed a bit as a light came from the table. A 3d map sprung up from the boundaries of the table surprising me and the rest of the ponies in the room.

“This is a representation of the whole area which will be the battlefield. The scenario as we have previously stated is an attack and defend scenario. Team A will be the attacking force; while Team B will be the defending force. Now the first thing Team B has to do is pick their defense point. The rules are that after that Team A will be set at a distant point away from that and they will have to get past the other team. Dan I suggest you look over the map to see if anything seems good for you.” I nodded to show my understanding.

“Now as for combat.” Luna said next. “We know that usually soldier such as yourself cannot put their full strength into battle against your fellow guards for fear of hurting them in ways that would weaken the guard as a whole; fortunately this year we have come up with something. During the games this year before it begins all guards will have a couple of spells placed on them. What these do is that in battle if a guard is struck by a “killing blow” then the magic will kick in and register them as dead. After that they will be switched with a doll that represents their body. It will weigh as much as a normal pony and on the inside it will be… “Accurate”.” Luna magicked a doll before us. It looked like they had made a sandbag in the shape of a pony and filled it with…stuff.

“For combat all types of weapons are allowed. You may restrict your teams to whatever weapons you desire. As for magic we are setting the threshold at class five spells so things won’t get to crazy. Oh and also there will be a maintained flight ceiling of 1000 feet.” Celestia finished up as her sister played around with the dead pony substitute. “That is all the information that we have to give you at this time; is there any questions?”

“None from us Princess Celestia we look forward to the battle.” Shock Point said first gathering some papers she had been writing noted on. She walked out first followed by her two co-leaders behind her.

“And have you decided on where your forces will try to hold ground?” She looked at me as I kept my eyes on the map.

“Jarvis; you find what I was looking for?” I asked out loud.

“Yes sir.” The disembodied voice responded. “After going through the entire area I believe the closest place you looking for will be right here.” The image on the table altered and zoomed into an area that was along a coast line leading into a canyon of sorts.

“Thank you Jarvis, why don’t you relay all the info to the princesses while we wait.”

“Certainly sir. Might I add it is finally nice to meet you; your highnesses. And if you are wondering about “looking at me” you can just say whatever you feel is comfortable to the table; I will not take any offense.” Celestia and Luna both stared at the table; Luna being a bit more wide eyed than her sister. It took a minute before they seemed to calm down and both started talking to the table. And while they were doing that Swift nudged me in the side.

“Ok now I can say that I’ve seen just about everything. But what are we waiting for exactly?” she asked.

“Oh I sent Lore Keeper and Storm Breaker to go search the archives to go see if there was a particular spell or something else that will help out our team very nicely. I hope they get here…oh; speak of the devil.” I said as I heard two sets of frantic hooves coming down the hallway. Sure enough two forms tried to stop and skidded past the door and out of view again. Five seconds later there was a knock at the door.

“Permission to enter your highnesses?”

“You may enter. Now you were saying Jarvis?” Celestia allowed them to enter and then went back to whatever conversation she was having with her sister and Jarvis.

“Thank you Princess. Dan I think we found exactly what you were looking for.” Lore Keeper ruffled through one of the bags at his side and brought out a book. He set it down on the edge of the table and opened it up to a specific page. “Is this your spell?” Lore said with a grin on his face.

I looked at the page his hoof was pointing to. I poured over the text of the page and felt myself start to grin.

“Oh this was exactly what I was looking for. We have been restricted to level five and under spells though. Where do this come in?”

“It is exactly at level five.” Lore Keeper’s grin didn’t get any smaller even as Swift came over and read over the page.

“Anti-Pegasus Field? Do you mind explain what this is about Dan?” I could tell she was confused but I could also hear just a bit of anger in her words.

“Let’s just say I’m playing to the other team’s emotions a bit and trying to even the playing field a bit. And don’t work I’m sure we can make sure it doesn’t affect our side right Lore Keeper?” I said looking at him. He quickly nodded in confirmation. “Good. Now excuse me Celestia I’m afraid I’m going to have to take Jarvis away. Its day one of training and it promises to be…different.” I said looking over to the white Alicorn.

“Oh sure we were just finishing up anyway. Do your best Dan you’re going to need it.” Celestia said with one of her trademark smiles. I nodded, picked up my things and left with the other members with my squad.

Minutes later I was standing in front of my team. As they had all gathered I told them to mix it around so that they weren’t standing next to anyone from their squad in any direction. “Alright stallions, mares. Look at the ponies surrounding you. Look left, right, behind, whatever. From now on get to know these ponies not just your squad mates. This is no longer just a simple team. When we face combat we will fight as one group not as a bunch of groups thrown together. We must be like a family; each mare or stallion to your right or left is your brother, and you will protect them with everything you have just like you would for your actual brother or sister. Now to practice and demonstrate this I’m going to need five volunteers; none of which are from my squad at the moment cause I have filled some of them in on what we are doing now. So will five lucky ponies step up?”

It took about a minute but five ponies made their way up. Three stallion and two mares. “Alright good now that you’re here I’d like to introduce you to my second in command Sergeant Swift Gale; she is going to be personally training you for this portion.” Swift stepped out from where she was standing and the five ponies gave her a salute.

“Ok so this portion of training which everypony will undertake in some way goes a bit like this. The theme of this is teamwork; your objective is to stop her from getting through you. No magic no weapons just use yourselves. But be warned she is a very good fighter so don’t do anything to…well you know when the time comes. So just remember stop her from getting through you past this line.” I walked behind them and dug a line in the sand. “Alright so let’s see how this turns out. Pay close attention everyone all of you before this day is out will pass this or you’ll do it till the sun comes up tomorrow.” I made sure to clear the area and I picked up a whistle. “Everybody ready?” The group of five managed to nod their heads meekly; I didn’t need to look at Swift since she was always ready for something like this.

*TWEET* I blew the whistle. Swift wasted no time in speeding towards the group, and in true panicked fashion all five started to charge her at their own pace. Swift flew into the first one who was knocked of his feet into the mare behind him. She pushed right in between the next two so she could barrel into the last one and keep pushing him straight back past the line before picking up off the ground a little so he could fall.

A mixture of sounds could be heard from the crowd as the ponies that were mowed down by Swift laid on the ground. I let them rest for five seconds before I called out.

“That…was the complete opposite of what I wanted now get up and try again. She didn’t hit you that hard. I want you up and ready in ten seconds to go again. NOW UP!” I barked a little as the five slowly got to their feet and into position to begin again.

*TWEET* I blew the whistle and watched the same exact events play out again. All five charged wildly and again they were thrown to the ground. I sighed put on a fake accent and said “Mada mada dane.” under my breath so no one would hear.

“Up and again.” I said to the ponies getting off the ground. I knew that it would take a couple tries for them to get what this part of the training was about but I felt like it was the best way. “Spitfire.” I called to her out of the crowd. She got to me right as the group got to their positions for another round.

*TWEET* “Is their something you wanted to see me about Dan?” she said.

“Yeah. Jonagold and I have to go see a smith about equipment. I want you to start breaking everyone down into teams like this. Find ponies like Swift and have them do exactly what she is doing. Every ten times they go through the motions have them take a couple minutes rest; but not to long. Oh and try not to have too many injuries ok?”

“Got it chief anything else I should know?” Spitfire asked. I shook my head no and then realized the group had gotten up. I couldn’t tell if they were determined, scared, or believed that I had something up my sleeve. But I could tell that they were in a bit of pain.


It took a bit but Jonagold and I stood before a shop where he said worked the greatest blacksmith in all of Equestria. “Are you sure this guy can make what we need?” I asked Jonagold.

“Well if we are going to need something that going to take a bashing and still look pretty this stallion is our pony.” He said taking a step towards the door only to have it swing open towards him. A plume of black smoke came out and a stallion calmly walked out coughing only slightly as he was laughing.

“Well ok then I think that all the ways explosive spells can’t be used for smithing. Guess I can check that off my list… Well who do we have here?” He said as he finally took off his goggle and looked at Jona and me. “Well if it isn’t Jonagold Apple and if my eye don’t deceive me Equestria’s first hummus.”


“Gesundheit.” I felt a bit surprised that the small bit of conversation just happened. “The name is Brass Tack and as you have probably heard from Jona; me…?”

“Oh, Dan.” I said holding out my hand. It took him a moment but he put his hoof in mine and we shook.

“I understand you have some things you want me to make for you? Why don’t we step into my workshop and see what you got.” It took a minute to get through the smoke but once inside I saw vast shelves filled with different swords, shields, armor, and plenty of other kinds of fighting instruments.

“So what exactly do you need me to make for you?”

“Well I need a couple hundred of these.” I said pulling out a piece of paper from one of my pockets. It had design for a shield on it.

“This seems simple enough. Seems like it fits more to your size and build but I think I can swing it for ponies. It seems to be heavy enough to protect from just about anything but light enough to swing in defense. And from how to the edge of the shield looks it can deal a nice bit of damage when you strike pony… Alright I can have these made for you before the games. Complete with magic protection.”

“Just like that you accept?”

“Well I do owe Jonagold a favor and it’s not like making a couple hundred shields to these kinds of specifications will be difficult. Heck if it was difficult then I wouldn’t be the best blacksmith in Equestria. Heck just wait a couple of minutes and I’ll have the first one ready for you.” He said gently pushing us out the door. We waited a minute before we heard the sounds of clanking from within the shop. Barely ten minutes went by before the door opened and something rolled out towards me. I stopped it and picked it up.

“There is the first one made especially for you. How’s it fit.” I picked it up and put it on my left arm. It fit like I had owned the shield for years. It covered from my thigh to the bottom of my shoulder.

“This is perfect…how am I supposed to pay you for this.”

“By using what I give ya to win the damned games. And maybe I’ll ask you for a favor too.”

“Sounds fair to me. What time can we expect them to be done?”

“Whenever you think your soldiers are ready for them.”

“Well then I’ll be back in a couple days then.” I said giving a short bow. Jonagold followed me and I handed my shield to him as we walked. “I’m gonna tell them about it today but I want to make sure at least someponies get through the first part of the training first.

“Do you think any group has managed to figure it out?”

“Probably not I’m expecting somepony to break and ask when we get back. We got back in around the same time it took us to walk to Brass Tack’s shop. And from what I could see there were plenty of ponies lying on the ground in pain.

“Spitfire sit rep.” I said walking over to the mare who was sweating a bit.

“Oh your back. They are staring to get it but I think you should take a look at the first group.” She said panting. Looking over I could see the group of ponies who had first volunteered. They were lying on the ground, battered, and slightly bruised.

“How many times have they gone?”

“I think it’s been just over fifty.”

I walked over to the group who was lying on the floor. “Still trying to get it I see.”

“Sir permission to speak?” said one stallion on the grounds.

“If you can spare the air soldier.”

“What’s the point of this? To get ourselves beat up and build character?”

“Honestly no you’re not doing the exercise the right way.”

“Excuse me sir?” he said managing to get to his feet. I could hear just a bit of anger in his voice.

“Your point in the exercise was to stop her from crossing your defense line. And every single time you charged her didn’t you and engaged her one on one didn’t you?”

“Yes sir.”

“At any point did you consult withy your teammates and work together to try and stop her together without moving.”

“Are you suggesting that we let her come to us?”

Now you’re getting it. I’ll give you a couple of seconds before the next attempt; spend it to talk a bit of strategy with your team but if I had to give some advice I’d say…” I leaned in to whisper something in his ear that I wanted only him to hear. After that I let him mull it over and walked to Swift. “Get ready Swift I think the fifty first time is the one.”

“Shame I was just starting to get a good sweat going.”

“Alright everypony eyes up here again.” I called out getting everyone’s attention. “You five ready to go?” I looked; they were now standing in a pyramid formation. Three in the back, and two in the front. I think they finally got the message.

“Ready and…” *TWEET* I watched as Swift charged again. This time she crossed the space without anyone coming at her. None of the other five ponies moved as she charged. Once she closed the gap the group dared to move. Swift hit the first two ponies in the group and moved about one more inch. And then she stopped moving. The five ponies worked in tandem and stopped her. And then while everyone was busy marveling in the fact they stopped her they missed one of the mares in the front hitting Swift in the face and knocking her to the ground.

Silence rang for awhile as no one said anything. The sound of clapping was the first thing people heard. It started with me and Swift joined in.

“Now you finally got it. That’s what I have been looking for. Jona the shield please.” I took the shield from Jona and held it so the crowd could see.

“This is going to be one of your instruments for fighting. Right now this is the only one. Through this training you will earn it. Learning to work together like this is the first step. If five of you can stop one really trained fighter imagine what five of you can do when ponies that aren’t as good as you charge you in a frenzy. Now everyone remember what just happened cause by the time the games come around all of you will be able to do that in unison.

From that point the rest of the week of training was a blur. Spears were thrust, blood was shed, and on occasion we broke a stallion or a mare to hard and some psychologist work was needed.

I woke up two hours early on the day of the games. I left the barracks and headed to the gym. The pre dawn air was crisp and cold. For me I felt I did more than a cup of coffee ever could. I had been practicing fighting with my gauntlets on; it always paid well to be prepared. I kept hitting the bag till someone interrupted me.

“Sorry to interrupt you Dan but it’s time.” I recognized Swift’s voice from behind me.

“Alright then I guess we find out if everything we’ve done is going to pay off.”

“You should be saying that it’s going to work period.”

“Just pre-show jitters. When we get in front of the big wigs I’ll be better. Is everypony assembled?”

“And waiting…oh and by the way everyone; myself included made a nice visual change to our armor just for you.”

“Oh really? This I gotta see. I walked out and looked at my group and what I saw surprised me.

“You ponies really do confuse me sometimes. Almost as much as I confuse you probably. Alright let’s head out.” Everyone grabbed their equipment and we headed to the stands that we stood at before the obstacle race started. It was where both groups would show off for the royalty and nobility.

As we came into view of the stands I heard a voice call out over a microphone. “And here comes Team B; who this year will be lead by not only a new edition to the guard but a new edition to Equestria itself! Dan the human! And with him comes his force of….oh wow ladies and gentle will you take a look at that.

We walked into the area; shields and spears with us. I had my full armor on and the blue lines on my helmet seemed to glow just a bit brighter. Behind me stood my group had put the glowing lines not only on their shields but also on their facial armor. We marched until I was in line with the leaders from Omega Squad. On the way up I looked at their forces. I saw multiple uniforms and a range of weapons.

“Well mares and stallions.” The voice of the loudspeaker spoke once again bringing my attention back to the stands. “Now that both of the teams are here let’s have some words from the princesses.

Princess Celestia walked up to a podium. She looked at the Team A and then over at my team. I could tell that something was on her mind but no was not the time to think about it.

“Soldiers, let it be known that we thank you for all you do. This is not for our entertainment but to make sure that you are on top of your games in case of times gone wrong. With the games today please show us what talent lies underneath.” There were cheers as she finished and her sister took her place.

“To our dear guards. We realize that for the more warrior type of pony. These times of peace may test you in ways unlike normal ponies. I can understand what is like to want to fight to hide your more true primal nature. These games are a way to let what you are hiding on the inside out.” I could have sworn she looked at me specifically as she talked. “Now do our team leaders have anything to say to us?” Luna looked down to us.

Shock Point stepped up and spoke for Team A. “Princesses and Ladies and Gentlestallions of the nobility we hope that our performance will show you the might and strength of the Equestrian Guard.” She stepped back and took in the minimal applause that was given.

I stood there for a second thinking about my words. I stepped up, dropped my helmet, and looked at the crowd. I saw faces look at me in wonder, enjoyment, and hatred. “Well I was so busy training my troops that I didn’t bother to prepare a speech so I think I’ll wing it.” I could here familiar voices laughing at my jokes. “This battle that we are about to fight…isn’t for you.” I pointed to the nobles in the crowd. “This battle is for us to show that we are not weak. We will show as a united group that nothing short of the princesses themselves will be able to strike us down!!! SPARTANS DO YOU AGREE!!!” I didn’t turn to my troops to see what they were going to say.

All in unison my group behind me shout “HOORAH!!!” Their chant silenced everything in the area. It was a minute before Princess Celestia got back up to speak again.

“Well what enthusiasm we have. Well with that done I suggest we start. Teams in just a short moment me and my sister will bring you…TO THE BATTLEFIELD!!!”


View Online


The princesses came down from the stands and took their places; each of them in front of one group. Celestia stood in front on Team A; while Luna stood in front of us and readied her magic.

“So how do you feel Dan?” She said as her magic slowly moved over my team.

“I’m Just like you said Luna. Ready to let off some steam.” I gave her a smile.

“From what I saw of you in the leaders meeting and also what I have seen and heard of your training I can’t help but think that you have something…extraordinary planned?”

“Well I don’t know if I would use “extraordinary”. But I think it’s going to be worth watching.”

“I look forward to it. Are you and your team ready?” She asked as her magic had finished covering my team.

“As ready as we will ever be.” I told her. Luna then looked to her sister and nodded. Celestia nodded back in confirmation.

“Well then my sister and I are ready to teleport you and your team to the designated starting points. Good luck to you and your team.” Luna said as her horn started to glow brighter.

“Thank…” was the first word I got out before I was blinded by a massive flash. When my eyes adjusted back to normal I saw that we were in the wilderness on a coast line. Exactly where I had picked for us to defend. “…you.” I figured it would be kind of rude not to finish.

I walked out to the cliff face and look out at the sea. It was a nice view. And son we would spoil it a bit with the sounds and sights of bloody battle. I turned around and looked at my troops. They were looking at me to give the orders. They already knew what I expected of them; but I think that they thought that they were being courteous.

“Alright Spartans!!! You all know what is expected of you. If you were designated to be on a special sub team report to your sub team leader. Stealth team I want you up here on the double. Magic team start getting those wards ready I want them up as quick as possible. Everyone else start setting up camp.” Ponies started moving quickly as I finished giving my orders.

Within a minute or two the stealth team was in front of me waiting. I had selected Shadow Dance to lead them seeing as how he was the best at stealth magic.

“Stealth team ready to go Sergeant Major.” I could hear in his deep voice that he was raring to go.

“Alright you guy and gals know the drill. Be silent and be swift. Any patrols you come across are to be taken out immediately; remember show no mercy because your enemy will give you none. And be sure to bring back the bodies if your able; we’re going to need them for something. Got it?”

“Sir Yes sir!” the troops chirped out. They then headed out to make sure that no one on the other team would see what we would be doing until they got up close.

As the stealth team headed out I walk back towards the canyon we were situated in and help set up camp. It was a couple hours before the stealth team cam back. Dragging with them at least ten bodies. As the rest of the team dragged the bodies to the building team Shadow Dancer came over to a table where Spitfire, Jonagold, Swift Gale, and I were sitting

“They sent out two patrols sir. We made sure they didn’t even get within five kilometers of this place.” Shadow Dancer said with a bit of a smile.

“Good job did you find the main army though?”

“Yes we found the main camp and we have also found that they are already sending troops our way.”

“How many?”

“Around our numbers sir. Five hundred or slightly more. And they’ll be here in about three hours.”

“Good. Thank you for the work Dancer; tell your team to rest for awhile and then prepare for combat.”

“Got it sir… and thank you.” He said before walking away to help his squad.

“So three hours and then we get our first lick of fighting?” Jonagold said after Shadow Dancer had left.

“Sounds like it. That’s plenty of time to have everything ready. You guys do what you have to I’m going to check with Lore Keeper and Storm Breaker about those wards.” I got up from the table and left leaving three of my commanders to do whatever they needed.

Our main camp was situated back in the canyon that we were defending it took me a couple of minutes to walk through it. I kept seeing ponies move around setting things up as they went. They seemed happy but I knew that I trained them to snap into a fighting mode within seconds. I would soon have to put that to the test.

“Lore, Storm how is the progress going.” I said to the two unicorns as I finally found them out by the cliff face.

“Oh Dan. Well I think you’ll be happy to know that we will be done in a couple of minutes. It was a bit hard getting the wards working down there.”

“Well I’m glad to know you two could get it done. And soon we are going to see them get put to use.”

“Are enemy troops approaching?” Storm asked.

“Yeah around five hundred or so; they’ll be here in a couple of hours. So run whatever final checks you have to and then make sure your team is ready. Got it?”

“Yes we’ll get right on it.” Both said before getting back to their work.

By the time I made it back to the camp the word had spread around that enemy troops were coming. Ponies were checking their armor and weapons. As well as making sure their shields were up to snuff. True to his word Brass Tack had made us all the shields for each pony. We had practiced with them and each pony under my command could use it as a lethal weapon.

I reached my tent and decided to rest for awhile. Jarvis had been busy most of the time downloading music from my phone. I thought it might be good to have some music during battle; to make things a bit different. My shield sat next to the table Jarvis was on and a couple of spears were placed by it. And then in one corner sat a large package. I already knew what it was. It was something special I asked Brass Rack to make especially for me. I looked at it for awhile thinking if I should bring it out on our first defense. I thought about it for a couple of minutes just pacing around my tent. I thought about it till something else caught my eye. I had forgotten that also on the table were all my papers concerning the games and troops. But there was also one other thing that was on top of that pile. My checklist that I made the day I decided to make myself a leader. I had added things to it since that day and managed to check almost everything off. Except for the first thing I wrote on it.

I looked at it over and over. “Last step: Talk to Twilight…” The words echoed over and over in my mind. “Heh yeah I’ll get out of battle here and then start a war.” I joked to myself. Once this was all said and done I had to do it. She was watching, her friends were watching, her family was watching, and her teacher was watching; there would be no escape.

“Sergeant Major Sir! The enemy has been spotted nearing the boundaries of the wards. Sergeant Swift Gale sent me to get you sir!” an earth pony mare basically yelled from the entrance to my tent.

“Thank you. Go start telling everybody. And then get your things and head to the formation point ok?”

“Yes sir.” She said before bolting away.

“I turned back to grab Jarvis and secure him back to my armor, grabbed my shield and spears. I took on last look at my package and thought “leave it for later.” And headed out of my tent.

Other ponies around were scrambling to get their things together and head towards our staging area. Others who had there things soon feel in line behind me. As I reached the mouth of the canyon I could see that a good number of ponies had already shown up. In this situation me being tall had an advantage so I could see which ponies were where. As I got to the front I could see that Swift was already waiting for me.

“Dar and here I was thinking I could get to the front line before you Swift.”

“What and let you have all the action? Fat chance of that cloud head.” She used a playful insult that she had come up with over a week. It was because I was tall and also because I sometimes just let my mind wander off freely.

“Glad to see your in a good mood to fight.”

“As to what crochet?”

“Hey save the good jokes for battle I don’t want you running out and having to use battle puns like “let me AXE you a question.””

“Good point…so do you think we are ready?”

“Well we are about to find out aren’t we?”

“I guess we are. Oh Storm Breaker your joining us on the front line as well?” Swift said looking around me. I turned ands sure enough Storm had his armor on and settled into formation right beside me.

“Yes ma’am; to be honest I’m kind of hoping someone from Omega Squad is also in front and leading the charge. I kind of want to get them back a little.

“Storm…” Swift started to reprimand but I cut her off.

“How about I’ll let you have one and then you just put the rest of your mind into the fight?”

“Deal sir. Oh look I think there coming around the corner now.” He said staring out into the distance

Before I started looking I quickly turned to Swift because I could feel her glaring at me. “Hey everybody gets one.” I said as nonchalantly as I could before looking forward. I couldn’t see any troops yet but I could definitely hear troops coming closer. It seemed like we waited forever; but slowly and surely a formation of troops appeared form around a stretch of wall. I could see that there was some kind of commotion going on in their ranks. I guess the Pegasi were confused as to why they couldn’t fly at all. I had planned that we would set up a bunch of wards over a large area of our defense that would use what was known as an “Anti Pegasus Field”. It made it so that any enemy pegasus that came within its borders became flightless. Originally it was all Pegasi but we found a way to apply some wards directly to a Pegasus so that the wards would count them as an exception.

As the angry group of soldier finished marching I could see that there group was slightly larger. It appeared as if they numbered around six hundred in stead of five hundred. Perhaps they had come as reinforcements after Shadow Dancer had observed them. Either way their numbers would be a good testing point.

Once they soldiers had stopped marching we could clearly hear the insults they were throwing at us. As they did that one pony made his way to the front. When he got there he tried to talk but couldn’t be heard over the roar of his group. Within seconds after whispering to another soldier next to him he got them to quiet down enough.

“SPARTANS!!! If is because of the honor of the Leaders; Rock Crush, Wind Shear, and Shock Point that they are giving you a gift!” his yell came in loud and clear.

“A gift? Oh this should be good.” I said to everypony around me.

“Our leaders wish that the battle will be fast and easy so they would like to offer you the chance for you to simply give up. You are outnumbered and outclassed”

“Wow they really went there.”

“You have one chance Spartans. Lay down your weapons and let us pass.” The pony finally stopped talking.

“Dan you’re not seriously considering that are you?” Swift asked next to me.

“Of course not! I’m just making it look like I am so that pony stays in place a little longer. Hey Storm Breaker is he in Omega Squad?”

“Yeah he is what about it?”

“How’s your spear throwing?” Storm got the meaning in my words and put a nice grin on. Quietly he turned around and asked for an extra spear. He brought his arm back as far as he could without looking conspicuous and then hurled the spear. The leader pony on the other team barely saw it coming. It wasn’t until it was a foot from him that he realized what we had done. The point hit him in the neck and sank on further. There were a bit of a smoke clouds and then we could see that his body had been replaced with the dummy body; the spear still sunk in a good way through its neck.

The ponies then looked at the body in surprise before looking back my way. In turn I shouted back. “If you want our weapons…” I said reading my shield in front of me; as did everypony else, “THEN COME AND GET THEM!!!”

It took very little for my words to stir them up. With the Pegasi angry that they couldn’t fly and other shocked that their leader was just taken out everything had been set up just right. Suddenly a few of the ponies screamed and began charging, and with that a domino effect happened and the rest of them stated to run toward us in frenzy.

“Alright everybody this is what we trained for! Our enemies are at our gates and we will repel them!!! This is where we hold them!!!” I shouted loudly so everyone could hear me.

Everyone got ready as the ponies closed in. I planted my feet as best I could and made sure my shield and prepared to get hit by wave after wave of ponies.

It didn’t start out as much weight when the first ponies finally reached us but then after the fourth and fifth wave hot us it was some serious weight pushing us. Ponies up front madly tried to hit us with their weapons but our shields provided us good protection.

“Alright everyone altogether now… PUSH!!!” On my verbal cue everybody behind me put their hooves on the pony; and in my case person in front of them and everyone at once pushed their hardest. Whatever ponies were pushing on our shield flew back a little and into perfect placement. Everyone on the front line and second line then stepped forward just enough and thrust their spears at a target and killed a good amount of enemies. We quickly pulled back as more tried to rush us. They fell prey to the same tactic and we managed to kill some more. We repeated this tactic until almost a third of their troops were dead. Some of them got trapped under dummy bodies and were finished as we advanced. As we got more room I broke off from the front and advanced a little. Immediately some eyes went to me and a couple charged straight at me.

“NO PRISONERS!” Swift shouted.

“NO MERCY!” I finished as I moved to attack.

I ducked under the first one who swung high; Swift was behind me and got him. I thrust my spear into a pony who reared up to attack. I block a glancing blow form another and speared the one right behind him. After freeing my spear from the dummy body I clotheslined one with my shield. I struck one more with my shield before I tossed it slightly in the air, caught it, and then flung it straight into the side of another pony.

I pulled out a sword from my shield. I ducked two more assailants before slicing two up across their bodies. The next one got a clean swing at me but I blocked it and then reached down and took one of his back legs off with my sword before bring it and him down across his stomach. I saw one last charge and I simply slammed my shield into. He landed dazed on his back. He snapped out of it in a couple of seconds and a look of terror crossed over his face as I stood over him and drove my sword down.

We all formed up again as we came upon the last group. Our Pegasi had flown over them and cut off their escape. They held their weapons up in defense and looked scared.

“Heh they look thirsty Sergeant Major.” said a stallion to my left.

“Then how about we give them something to drink? TO THE CLIFFS!” We put our shield out and slowly advanced on the group. In a panic some of them tried to take a swipe at us but their weapons deflected off their shields and allowed us a get them with our spears. Slowly but surely we pushed them to the brink off the cliff and kept going as we let them fall over.

Some Pegasi that were in the group cause they thought the APF wouldn’t extend that far and tried to take flight only to find that we thought ahead and made sure the field extended as far as the sharp rocks below. As we saw the last of them turn into dummy bodies the team cheered loudly at our small victory. Except for me I stood firm because I knew that there was more to come; but I knew that I had to let the team have their victory to let the morale be high.

After that we set out to clean some of the bodies out of our way and more into whatever way that would antagonize our enemies. After that we headed back to camp to clean ourselves and celebrate a bit.

Those were the only troops they sent at us that day. I made sure to keep the stealth team on patrol just incase though. The morale was high as ponies celebrated our win. I heard ponies comparing body counts and even talking about cool moves they pulled off. I didn’t want to brag so I stayed away form that. I walked through the camp a bit and came across my squad talking around a fire.

“Hey Dan come here you got to hear this!” Flintlock called out to me. As I came closer I could see Scribble Page sitting with his head in his hooves.

“What happened Scribble? Lose a bet?”

“Sort of.” He mumbled.

“He told us that after he was this is over he’s going to ask out that reporter friend of yours.”

“Your going to ask out crystal?” I said not even trying to stop myself from smiling.

“Yeah I like her and I think she might like me and we have the same kind of tastes…but that’s not the problem.”

“Then what is?”

“Well I made a bet with Shadow Fire about who would have the highest body count after today…”


“And he beat me by one! The bloody elf” He called him that because in his night guard armor his ear looked bigger and pointy; even with the bit of extra fur.

“And so the bet was?”

“Well if I won I was going to force him to ask Princess Luna out for coffee.”

“And since I won I told him that on his date with Crystal Clear I told him that he has to sing to her during some part of it.”

“Oh ok….what do you not have a good singing voice?”

“THAT’S NOT THE POINT!!! Oh sorry…it not that my voice is a problem…its that I can’t think of a song…”

“Oh…*snerk*” I couldn’t stop myself from laughing out loud and everyone also joined me once I lost my control.

“Guys!!! It’s not funny!”

“Ok ok sorry Scribble. So do you want some help with that song?”

“You want to help me?”

“Well I am a pretty decent musician.”

“Did you have a song in mind?”

“Well kinda I was thinking of saving it for someone but I think it will help you more. You guys wanna help me here?” I said to the rest of the group I got shrugs that basically was their ok.

“Alright then I guess that’s a go. Just follow after me guys. One, Two, Three.

Whoa, oh, oh, oh
For the longest time
Whoa, oh, oh
For the longest time
If you said goodbye to me tonight
There would still be music left to write
What else could I do
I'm so inspired by you
That hasn't happened for the longest time

Once I thought my innocence was gone
Now I know that happiness goes on
That's where you found me
When you put your arms around me
I haven't been there for the longest time

Whoa, oh, oh, oh
For the longest time
Whoa, oh, oh
For the longest
I'm that voice you're hearing in the hall
And the greatest miracle of all
Is how I need you
And how you needed me too
That hasn't happened for the longest time

Maybe this won't last very long
But you feel so right
And I could be wrong
Maybe I've been hoping too hard
But I've gone this far
And it's more than I hoped for

Who knows how much further we'll go on
Maybe I'll be sorry when you're gone
I'll take my chances
I forgot how nice romance is
I haven't been there for the longest time

I had second thoughts at the start
I said to myself
Hold on to your heart
Now I know the woman that you are
You're wonderful so far
And it's more than I hoped for

I don't care what consequence it brings
I have been a fool for lesser things
I want you so bad
I think you ought to know that
I intend to hold you for the longest time

Whoa, oh, oh, oh
For the longest time
Whoa, oh, oh
For the longest time

A small round of applause was given after we finished. Scribble seemed like he remembered it. I hope it would do him good. And now I was going to have to think of another song.

Inside Canterlot Palace…

As the end of the first day of the games approach many of the people in the stands left and went back to their homes. The stands only covered what happened when battles were going on. But if you were good with magic you could make a spell that would allow you to watch everything else from the comfort of your home. Inside the palace the Princesses along with Twilight and company had done just that.

At the moment though Ponies jaws were dropped in shock at the song that they had just watch and heard Dan sing.

“Did he just…” Applejack had a hard time processing what had just happened.

“I think… I think…” stuttered Rainbow Dash.

“Man; Dan is just so random sometimes…. Right Flutters?” Pinkie said asking her yellow friend next to her who only nodded in return with her mouth still open.

Rarity who sitting next to Cadence made eye contact several time with the Princess of Love. Booth of them had a hoof in front of their mouths’ trying not to giggle in the slightest. They knew something that everypony else in the room didn’t.

Shining simply stared at the screen trying not to show any emotion.

And as for the princesses they sat next to each other just watching smiling slightly at what was unfolding.

“Ok girls, Cadence, BBBFF, and Princesses I’m back with the snacks!” Twilight announced as she along with Spike entered the room with a cartful of treats floating in her magic. “Alright who ordered the nachos?” She said before looking to the group who were staring at her in surprise.

“What…did I forget something…did I get something on my face???”

Chapter 27: One nothing wrong me, Two nothing wrong with me, Three nothing wrong with me, Four….something might be wrong with me…

View Online

Chapter 27: One nothing wrong me, Two nothing wrong with me, Three nothing wrong with me, Four….something might be wrong with me…

Morning came quickly after I had gotten rest after the first day. And with the rising sun our enemies rage also rose. It was barely hours into the day before they sent more troops at us. For the first wave they sent ponies charging at high speeds in hopes to break our defenses like that. We simply moved our formations into a wedge shape so we could split them and cause them to easily allow them selves to be speared.

We had a short breather before they sent another wave of troops at us this time it was like the first they had sent the day before. They had hoped that the first had made us lose focus but they fared as well as every other soldier they sent at us.

Team A didn’t stop at that though. Their next attack was actually their smartest so far. They sent a large force of unicorns that fired off various ranged spells at us. This was actually when we first faced some troop loss. We only los about five soldiers but it enraged us enough to close the gap the unicorns had put between us and them. At a closer range their magic was still as deadly but they started to panic when we got in spear range and soon they fell.

We faced wave after wave after wave of enemies and suffered minimal casualties. I could only smirk a little imagining the looks on Team A’s leaders’ faces as none of their troops ever came back.

By the time the second day was over we had shaved their numbers by more than half. It was closer to us having just fewer than four hundred and they might have been around two thousand.

As the sun set we built a small funeral pyre for our fallen comrades. Even though it was only symbolic since they hadn’t actually died it helped to keep everypony focused on our goal. Everyone went to bed that night knowing that tomorrow was going to be the final stretch.

I woke up the next morning and felt like I had for the past couple of weeks. Walking out of my tent I could see everypony busy doing whatever morning rituals they had to. It seemed like it was going to be a good day; besides the fighting of course. That was until I hear somepony screaming my name.

“DAN!!! DAN!!!” I had barely ever heard his voice this loud but I could tell that it was Shadow Dancer. I made my way towards the sound of him and eventually we met up in the middle of the camp. He was there along with Swift Gale. He looked pretty beaten up. He was bruised and cut.

“Shadow Dance what happened?”

“The stealth team is gone. Everybody is dead. We were ambushed.” He managed to say through his panting.

“Here have some water first then tell me everything.” I said giving him a canteen I got from a Pegasus who was passing by. He took a long drink and took a couple of deep breaths to steady himself.

“We were on our patrol like usual and we scouted an enemy party. So we jumped them and began to take them out. We got down to the last five and then a second party came out and ambushed us. It was still nothing serious and we were slowly turning it around when it happened. A third party came in; it was made mostly of ponies form Omega squad. The third team then proceeded to open fire on everybody.


“Us, their own team, they didn’t seem to care. I managed to get myself out of sight while all their spells kicked up a huge wave of dust.”

“And that’s when you got out of there?”

“Almost I waited till the dust died down to check if anyone on the team survived. As it turned out one pony did survive…it was Red Star…They took him sir…” Shadow Dancer had maintained pretty good eye contact but with his last words his eyes sank to the floor.

I looked at him for awhile not just thinking about him but also about Red Star and why Omega squad had taken him. The only possible reason I could think of was to draw me out and hurt my troops.

Apparently Swift was thinking the same thing I was. “Dan it’s obviously a trap I don’t think…” she started.

“Flintlock FRONT AND CENTER!!!” I shouted stopping her. Within seconds the energetic unicorn appeared.

“Hey boss watcha nee…HOLY CRAP Shadow Dancer what happened to you? It looks like someone put you through the ringer!” Flintlock was surprised by the state of Shadow Dancer.

“Flintlock go get a medic for Shadow Dancer and bring them to my tent.” Flintlock threw up a quick salute and then galloped off. Shadow Dancer, Swift Gale and I made our way to my tent.

“You can rest up on my bed Shadow.” I told him. He got on and managed to lie down before Flintlock came in with the medic.

“Shadow can you tell me exactly where you were when this all took place?” I asked.

“Yeah if you bring a map over I can show you.” He said as the medic applied some kind of slave to his wounds. I could hear him gasp a little from the pain as I walked over to the table in my tent and grabbed a map. By the time I got back he was being wrapped in bandages and I think he might have been flirting with the medic.

“So sorry to interrupt your chat here Shadow but…”

“Oh right sorry sir.” He said giving a slight nod and smile to the medic as she finished up and left. I set the map down in front of him and let him retrace his steps; he stayed silent for a little as Swift Gale, Flintlock, and I watched him.

“It all happened right around here.” He said pointing to a point on the map with his hoof. It was about halfway through the entire battlefield; not close enough to either force to be too useful.

“Alright then that should be a nice hike for me.” I said getting everyone’s attention.

“Would you like me to program the map for your helmet sir?” Jarvis asked.

“No thanks’ Jarvis you’re staying here with Swift.”

“Uh Dan just what do you think you are doing? You obviously know that it’s a…”

“Trap right; but they took Red Star to get to me. And come hell or high water I’m going to get him back.”

“But what about the troops here Dan are you going to forsake them?”

“No. That is why I have a second in command after all. You’ll lead the today. If they ask about me tell them everything; they’ll understand.” I told her. Walking to my things I took Jarvis and gave him to Swift.

I moved over to the far end of the tent to where I had put Brass Tack’s special package for me. “Well guys I wonder what Brass Tack made me?”

“You mean you haven’t checked it out?” Swift asked.

“Hadn’t needed it so far so I left it wrapped up.” I said grabbing the material that covered it. It was akin to some kind of heavy cloth. Gently opening what I assumed was the top the first thing to greet me was a handle I grabbed it and hefted whatever was on the other end up. IT was heavy enough to make me use a decent portion of strength but just enough so that it wasn’t taxing on me. I swung forward and the rest of the cloth flew off to reveal my new weapon.

It was a sword. If I remembered anything from my childhood it would be that this would be classified as a buster sword. The blade itself was about half my size. It was double edged blade that had some serration on it on the end by the handle. The blade looked like it was a pitch black onyx color but upon a bit closer inspection I noticed that something was engraved on the blade near the handle.

“Uh hey boss not to mess up “special time” with your new sword but I think this is for you; it fell out of the cloth your sword was in.” my trance was broken by Flintlock who was holding out a note to me. I took it looked and gave it a quick read. A small grin broke out on my face as I took my sword and strapped it to my back and began to walk out of my tent.

“Flintlock watch after Shadow Dancer; if he gets into the formation make sure he’s not near the front line I don’t want him dying on me like that. Swift, like I said earlier you’re in charge till I come back with Red Star. If anyone asks just tell them.”

“Dan wait a second!” Swift said as she started walking with me. “Why are you doing this?”

“To get Red Star back.”

“Okay that’s your motive on the outside now stop skirting around the bushes and tell me what’s really going on. You can only play your poker face for so long.” She said staring at me seriously like she did whenever I was making choices like this.

“…It’s about Omega squad. This whole thing…they want to send a message. Not to all of us, not to Alpha squad, just me. They want me. They want to make an example out of me because I’m probably one of the first to actually stand up to them. And they probably figured out that the best way to get to me is through my friends.” I stopped when I got to the edge of camp I stopped and look at Swift.

“Swift how much do you know about my kind?”

“I’ve read up some stuff.”

“Mostly about how we fight and our wars right?” I smiled gently.

“…yes.” She said apologetically; her ears folding back in embarrassment.

“It’s okay Swift I expected you to. But since you have read some…tell me…what usually happens when my kind is provoked in the wrong way?” I asked her and then watched her reaction. She was in thought for a little before all of it seemed to click in her head. Her thoughtful expression turned blank as she brought her eyes back to mine.

“It’s just like a wise man once said. Speak softly and carry a big stick.” I said patting the sword on my back. And with that I took off to go get Red Star back. “It’s just like Luna said Swift; this is time to blow of some steam.

About two hours later I was close to where Shadow Dancer said they were attacked. I tried to be as stealthy as I could. I had decided not to bring my armor for some reason I couldn’t remember so the only thing I could protect myself with was my sword. After walking for a couple of more minutes I began to hear something. Slowly making my way towards it I could make out the sounds of ponies talking.

“I still don’t think it was a good idea doing this without tell at least one of the leaders.”

“Don’t worry about it once they see our results I don’t think that they’ll have a problem.”

“Even though we took out like twenty of our own guys?”

“Hey they don’t have to know about that.”

I got closer and suddenly I could see into a clearing. There were two ponies there talking around a little sort of makeshift camp.

“But what makes you think that the human will even show?”

“Oh ye of little faith. He has this thing about sticking by his teammates. That’s his big weakness. And that is also why we captured that little guy over there.” I saw the pony point off into the distance a little and up against a rock I saw Red Star. He was beaten up, bound, and gagged. Even though he was covered in bruises and cuts which were probably causing him a good amount of pain he was still glaring defiantly at his captors.

“Dan is sure to come looking for him; we killed everyone else in their party. No doubt Dan will get worried and come looking for him and then we’ll spring the trap on him.

Well your kind of close on that one but I think you don’t have some of the fine details worked out.” I had heard enough and simply walked into the clearing in full view of everypony. Red Star sat up and looked at me with admiration in his eyes…or was it fear it was hard to tell.

“Well well well looked who walked right into our trap.” The pony who had been talking earlier said; he seemed to be taken back that I had just simply walked out into the open. “I do hope you know you’re surrounded right?” on his word four other ponies walked out of the brush.

“I’m guessing this is all of Omega squad? Well minus that one stallion Storm Breaker took out on day one. Got to admit one hell of a throw...” I joked. Looking around I noticed that no one was laughing. “Alright serious time it is then. First things first let Red Star go.”

“Oh making demands now? How do you know that we don’t need him?”

“Well first off if you were to kill me and him it could be seen as a combat thing. No you just want me because then it becomes a message. Now…let…him...go!” I dropped my smile and just stared at the pony. It unnerved him enough to make his decision; he shoved the mare next to him who slowly started walking over to Red Star.

“Wait a second!” he said making the mare stop right before she reached Red Star. “How about you take the sword of you back first. Just stick it in the ground right in front of you. Do that or no deal.”

Red Star looked at me and feverently shook his head no. “Well I guess that’s a fair trade I said doing exactly as the pony instructed. True to his words after my sword was in the ground the mare went over to Red Star and untied him. He shook himself off after getting untied giving the mare who untied him a harsh glare as he walked towards me.

“I’m sorry I got captured sir. He said as he reached me facing away from the enemy. He looked like he wasn’t in too bad of shape but I noticed that all his injuries seemed to be concentrated like they tortured him for information.

“It’s okay Red Star; Shadow Dancer told me the whole story. If all it took was for these idiots to kill their own teammates to try and capture you then I think that you’ve been doing your job. Go back to camp and go see a medic.” Red Star nodded and walked off. I watched him walk down the trail I walked in on and didn’t stop till he was out of sight.

“Now I’m guessing you going top want to know our names right?”

“Not particularly it would distract me. Oh and by the way; the way I have to say congratulations for getting at least this far.”

“Distract you? Distract you from what?”

“Oh its nothing important. I just hope you guys know that it was an okay plan. I said walking a bit closer to my sword. “But I think you might have missed one part… The part where the target in question that you are trying to trap has a TRAP OF HIS OWN!!!” on my last words I grabbed the handle of my sword with both hands. A symbol lit up at the bas of the blade and I thrust the blade down into the earth a bit more.

“THE BLADE’S ENCHANTED!!! GET HIM QUI...” was all somepony had to say before the spell stored in the blade went off. The ground cracked and chunks of earth flew in all directions. Magic energy poured out of the cracks and everything exploded in a lavender-ish light. It didn’t blind me as much as I thought. I saw a couple of ponies fly backwards and saw some others that managed to brace themselves.

As quick as I could I pulled my sword out. The closest pony was behind me. I ran forward just a bit and then threw my weight forward flinging the sword in my right hand in a horizontal arc. The pony barely had time to see it coming as the blade caught him in the neck and kept going. His dummy body was in two pieces when it appeared.

“AHHH” a cream from above caught my attention as a Pegasus dived bombed me. He hit me in the face and came around for a second pass. I managed to catch him by the throat. Bringing him over my head I threw him to the ground and then did the exact same thing with my sword. Two down, four to go. With the time it had taken me to get the first one the other four had managed to pull themselves together and had surrounded me again. I was up against two Unicorns, one Pegasus, and one Earth ponies. I hoisted my sword over my right shoulder and gave them a maniac grin.

“Well then…whose next?” I said daring them to attack me. Even though I was outnumbered I felt relaxed. I think I was letting my inner maniac out and just blowing off as much steam as I could on these ponies.

“Distract him!!!” the unicorn shouted. Her three companions charged me and began to attack in anyway possible. They left we with very little openings so all I could do was dodge and take some of the lighter hits.

“Alright GET OUT OF THE WAY!” the unicorn shouted. I turned and saw that there was a small fireball floating just above her horn. Seconds later a large torrent of fire poured from it and came straight at me. I panicked and did the first thing that popped into my head. I used the flat of my sword as a shield and charged straight into the inferno.

I was burnt a little as I came out on the other side but I didn’t have time to think on it as I was right in front of the unicorn. She tried to start casting another spell but I countered by punching her in the face. She staggered and I was about to continue when I noticed the Pegasus flying straight for me. Both hands occupied I tried something else. I managed to dodge the Pegasus when she swung at my head. With his hoof outstretched I opened my mouth and clamped down on her limb. His scream and the fact that it tasted like biting into a carpet didn’t deter me from my plan. Twisting my neck fast enough to give a person whiplash I pulled him down and on top of the still dazed unicorn. They collided and fell to the ground where I picked up my sword again and shish kababed them.

There were only two left now. And they were both behind me as I pulled my sword out of the two dummy bodies. The one that had orchestrated the whole plan stood in shock while the other was enraged at the loss of his comrades. He charged me as fats as he could but I was still able to dodge. I swung my sword at him hitting him with the flat and propelling him into a nearby boulder where he hit with a sickening crunch.

Catching my breath I turned back to the instigator for this whole fight. He was frozen looking at me with fear in his eyes. “How…It was perfect…Your…Weakness…”

I smiled walked over to him and stood towering over him. “It not just a weakness you idiot. It’s more of a double edged sword. It’s true that putting faith in someone can make them a target but… It can also make them your support. They can help you unlock parts of yourself that you barely know are there. If you can’t understand that concept well then, it will be a hard road for you to get any stronger. OH and don’t worry I’m not going to kill you just yet. I need you for something.” I said as I knocked him out. I trudged back to camp hefting both my sword and the pony.

The walk was longer than it had taken the first time. I got back to the camp and nothing seemed to have changed that much. I grabbed my armor and headed for the front lines as fats as I could. Everyone was resting when I got there; I think I got here right in between attacks.

“Dan your back… who is that?” Swift was happy and confused.

“One of the ponies from “the trap”.” I answered as I woke him up with a couple slaps to the face.

“And you didn’t kill him?”

“I needed him for something. But first I need him to wake up!” I said as my final slap brought him back to consciousness.

“Who what where?” he said as he looked around and got his bearings. Noticing all the angry enemy faces he tried to pull his head into his body like a turtle.

“Oh stop being such a baby; they aren’t going to hurt you…yet. I need you for something. Now I’m assuming that since your part of Omega squad and since you wanted to deliver my head to them on a silver platter you had a way of signaling them so they would come to you; right?”

He stared at the ground not making a sound or eye contact. Hoping to make this short I picked him up by the back of his neck so that he was vertical. “Swift every time he doesn’t reply or do what I ask quickly, buck him in the balls.”

“What’s your definition of quickly?” She said smiling sinisterly at the pony who started to break into a cold sweat.

“I’ll let you be the judge of that.” I said returning her smile. “Now I’ll ask again. You have a way of contacting your leaders and bringing them to you right?” moved slightly and the pony responded well to it.


“Wow that actually worked better than I intended.” I said picking up the stallion and putting hi in front of our group. “Ok then do it.” He quickly lit up his horn and fired a beam of magic into the sky. It turned a couple different colors before turning into a weirdly shaped cloud of smoke.

“They’ll be here in minutes.” He said. And true to his word minutes later the whole A team was in front of us along with their leaders in the front leading the charge. I could see confusion come over their faces as they saw one of them standing by me as they stopped marching. Shock Point was the first to break the silence between the groups. “Would you mind explaining just what exactly is going on here?”

“Oh just a little coercion slash extortion. I just wanted to talk to you guys, but before that.” I said reaching for the handle of my sword. The stallion didn’t see it as swung down at him; his dummy body was cut cleanly I half. “Now where was I? Oh yes! I wanted to have a word with you three.”

“We’re listening.” Shock Point said not intimidated one bit by my last display of violence.

“Well I think it’s about time we end this. Now I have a problem with you three, and you three have a problem with me. That about sums it up nicely right?”

“That’s hitting the nail on the head.” Wind Shear answered this time.

“So I think the best we could end this is not with our troops because lets face I’ve been winning on that front. So I propose this. Instead of fighting down to the last stallion or mare. How about we make it… me versus you three in the coliseum. No weapons, whatever armor you wanna wear, and we fight till one is standing.” I felt every eye stare at me. Not just the three leaders and their troops, but all of mine as well.

“Dan are you sure you didn’t hurt yourself to bad back there?”

“I’m fine Swift. And who knows it might have come down to that anyway in the end.” I told Swift as I watched Rock Smash, Wind Shear, and Shock point talking abut things amongst themselves. I waited until they broke and Rock Smash started talking.

“That sounds like a “fun” alternative. We accept.”

I nodded and then looked up to the sky. “Did you hear that princesses?” I shouted. We’re gonna finish this a bit differently do you think you can get us out…” everything flashed white again and I realized I was in the coliseum. “of here.”

I was standing down on the arena floor where I had fought Celestia except this time instead of one super powerful opponent I had three opponents whose strength I had never seen. Turning to the stands I could see the princesses, and the girls. Mixed reactions lined their faces; showing just how much they cared. To the right of the princesses were all my troops. I walked over to see Swift Gale in the front row.

“Are you sure you know what your doing Dan.” She asked her face was a mixture of concern and fear.

“Mostly; keep Jarvis with you I’m going gauntlets only for this one. Time to show you guys how humans get it done.” I was wearing just a pair of shorts and my gauntlets. I had always liked the way mixed martial arts fighters looked before a fight. “Does anyone want to wish me luck?”

“Good luck sir”. Jarvis said from the helmet sitting near Swift Gale.

“Good luck you idiot your gonna need it.”

“Rip’em to piece Dan!” Shadow Dance and Red star said at the same time.

“Spartans I think we should give our leader a proper good luck!” Jonagold shouted from the stands. Every one stood up drew in a breath and then shouted.

“HOORAH!!!” the noise was loud it completely dominated the noises from he other side of the stadium.

I turned around to find my three opponents waiting for me. Armored in varying degrees.

“Ok then since it seems both sides are ready to begin.” Princess Celestia stood and addressed everypony. I tensed up; ready for the fight to begin. “Then….. FIGHT!!!”

On he words I broke into a mad dash straight for my opponents. Within seconds Rock Smash who was the most armored out of all three was doing the same. Knowing that he would be faster than me I had to time my attack perfectly. As I ran towards Rock Smash; neon blue beams of light came from behind him and moved towards me. I put my gauntlets up to defend myself. The beams bounced off my gauntlets with a bit of force slowing me just a bit. I got close enough as I wanted to Rock Smash and slowed down just enough; he kept charging not knowing exactly what I was doing. When he was about ten feet away I stopped leaving my right leg behind me a little bit. With all the force I could muster I swung my right foot forward. By the time my foot came forward Rock Smash was a legs length away just like I had hoped. My foot caught him under the chin and sent him reeling upwards into the air a couple feet.

After that I wanted to follow up but was hit by something moving pretty fast. Wind Shear hit me in my left side plowing me into the ground a bit. I got up and managed to see catch a glimpse of him as he flew around trying to confuse me. I couldn’t stare at him for long though cause Shock Point decided to ramp up her spells a bit before and now she was throwing lightning. I dodged them as I attempted to get a lock on Wind Shear. By this time Rock Smash had managed to shake off the kick I had given him and was charging back into battle. Trying to keep track of each of my opponents was very hard. I was barely dodging everything that they were throwing at me.

Luckily for me on one pass to hit me Wind Shear flew within my field of view. Dodging two bolts of lightning I managed to grab him and using the momentum swung him in a circle so I could hit Rock Smash with his own teammate. From there I continued to swing them till I was in Shock Point’s direction and then let go. They both flew towards their third teammate and a decent speed but I forgot that she would be able to stop them with her magic.

“Now did you really think it would be that easy?” she said with a condescending smile while she lowered her teammates to the ground.

“You know for a second there…yeah I really did.” I said panting slightly.

“Well then how about we show you something that won’t be so easy for you.” She said as her horn lit up. Magic jumped to both of her partners. Wind Shear gave a quick hop and stood upon Rock Smash’s back. After a couple of seconds Shock Point channeled a different spell. The aura that was covering her two teammates turned into lightning which covered their bodies.

“What do you think about this Dan?” she asked.

“Actually that is pretty nice.”

“Well let’s see how you like it when it’s up close!” Wind shear said as he grabbed Rock Smash and took of as fast as he could towards me. Despite his load he was pretty quick in closing the gap between us. I tried to move but noticed my feet wouldn’t move. I looked down and saw that plant roots were wrapping around my feet. As they came closer I did the only thing I could and tried to take the attack head on. I grabbed Rock Smash’s hooves and tried my best to hold him back. Instead of me being bowled over I was pushed back several feet. The pain wasn’t anywhere near what I thought though which mad e me a bit suspicious.

“Well it look like you…” I tried to raise my arms and point but my arm wouldn’t move. Heck even my neck wouldn’t turn. “Oh the first attack paralyzes the opponent…”

“SO that on the second we can deliver a worse blow yes Dan.” Shock said as she channeled more magic in her teammates this time the lightning around them seemed to look more violent then the last attack.

“Well…shit.” Was what I said before the two plowed into me and this time I didn’t stand a chance. Rock Smash’s hooves crashed into my chest and pulled me off my feet. It took a couple seconds of being propelled but hitting a wall with enough force to break into it still felt as good as the last time. The pain hurt and I felt like I couldn’t tell what was broken or bleeding.

Somehow I managed to pry myself from the wall and walk forward a bit. My eyes half lidded looked at my enemies who were smirking.

“By the princesses he’s tough.” Rock Smash said looking at me.

“Yeah but I don’t think he’s being to bright right now getting back up like that. Light us up again Shock, one last hit should bring him down.

I really remember the second hit and the second wall imprinting. My body felt weak and broken. But I knew I couldn’t give up yet. If I wasn’t fully unconscious then there was still a fight to be had.

“Really again he gets up. Heck if we hit him one more time I don’t think he’s gonna go to the hospital, it’ll be straight to the morgue. But hey if he got up he knows the consequences.” I heard one voice saw I couldn’t make out anything really far away.

I could hear noises all around. Cheers form one side and yells from the other. Suddenly I could make out a flash in front of me followed by a familiar voice.

“Alright that’s enough of this!” Twilight had teleported in front of me; I could make out her lavender shape. “You’ve obviously won just take your victory and stop this…this…bullying!” Everything was silent as she spoke.

“I’m sorry but we can’t do that ma’am. Dan there set the terms of the fight and we are just abiding by him. Also under coliseum rules if anyone were to enter they should be treated as an enemy combatant. Now I would like to ask nicely for you to go back to your seat please. Other wise you are also going to a target and there isn’t anything anypony can do about it.” The voice who I think was Rock Smash said.

“I’m not moving.” Twilight said. Why was she defending me; putting herself in danger for a stupid reason.

“Well then ma’am I warned you and I’m not sorry for what happens next.” My vision cleared up enough to see what was happening. Shock Point charged Rock Smash and then used her telekinesis magic to fling him at high speeds toward Twilight.

Everything slowed down in those few moments. I wanted to move so badly but my body was battered and broken. But I wasn’t dead yet. I needed energy, I needed more ability. Memories flashbacked before my eyes; most prominent of them was when I was trapped under the factory roof. Why couldn’t I be like back then. I trained myself, I was defiantly stronger and faster than back then. Heck is what like the same situation. There were ponies that I needed to protect back then and now there was a pony that I needed to protect right now.

I felt my body twitch. It knew what I wanted. My mind and willpower was forcing everything I was to keep going. I would protect her…EVEN IF I DIED DOING IT!!! Somehow the gap between me and Twilight closed my arm reached out to grab Rock Smash’s hoof that was aiming for twilight.


Dan was perhaps one of the weirdest beings I have ever met. Ever since he picked me out of all those other reporters I could tell there was something different about him. Well actually that’s a lie ever since he stepped out of the princesses’ royal chariot I knew he was different. I had seen him save foal from a fire, survive getting hit buy a collapsing roof, befriend an ancient dinosaur and even play music that nobody had really heard yet. I had watched him get beaten by the three ponies he had challenged and I thought at first it was all part of a plan up until the second time he was slammed into a wall. Twilight teleported down there for some reason to try and stop them but it didn’t work. Now one of the ponies was magically charged and flying straight at Twilight who didn’t know what to do. I almost turned as the pony crashed into Twilight but saw and Orange-ish blur come from behind.

A large explosion rocked the stadium. Everypony was blinded by the light that was produced. Afterwards everyone looked back to see a large cloud of dust covering the arena floor. Twilight’s and Dan’s friends were on the edge of their seat trying to figure out what was going on. I looked over to Princess Celestia and Luna and saw that they were…smirking? Why would they be happy about something like this? Gasps from all around drew my attention back to the arena where a sight so strange greeted everyone. Twilight was ok and un harmed. Rock Smash was in the air his fore arm still outstretched was close to Twilight. What was more noticeable was the look of absolute surprise on his face and what he was looking at. Dan was right behind Twilight standing over her; eyes closed; with Rock Smash’s hoof in his hand. But his was on fire. It wasn’t only his right hand either. There were three flames; one covering each of hi hand and gauntlets, and one in the middle of his forehand. Everything was still as a picture until Dan opened his eyes.

Although something was different about him now. He seemed more composed and leader like than during the battles.

“Dan what..” Twilight started to say but was silenced when Dan used his other hand. The flame on it spread over Twilight but it didn’t seem like it was burning her. Slowly she lifted off the ground, he was levitating her! He moved her all the way back to here seat and then the magic stopped. He gave her a look that told her that they would talk later. He then turned his attention back to Rock Smash and spoke for the first time in awhile.

“That was a really really bad move.” He said coldly.. Rock Smash didn’t have time to answer though, Dan quickly pulled down on his hoof bringing all of Rock Smash down with him. Dan threw his right knee up and caught Rock Smash in the jaw putting him airborne again. Dan quickly turned to his side and like a coiled snake his leg shot out straight hitting his opponent in the stomach.

Rock Smash flew past his teammates and straight into a wall. Shock point went to help him but whatever was happening to Dan made him a lot faster. He was in front of her within seconds. She panicked and teleported away trying to escape but Dan put out his hand and the flame on it stretched, grabbed her, and flung her back towards Dan where he clotheslined her before she too hit the wall. Wind Shear was the last on standing. He was enraged by how Dan took out his opponents and dived straight at him. Dan pointed his hands at the ground and the fire exploded out of his hands and propelled him into the air. Both of them got close and then Dan flipped and kicked Wind Shear in the back sending him into he same wall as his teammates. Dan hit the ground as they started to get up and then did something even more incredible than what he had been doing.

He placed on hand behind him and the flames on his left hand started to shoot out like a fire work flying into the sky. He extended his other hand which started to glow brighter and pointed it at Omega Squad.

“TAKE THIS!!!” he said before what looked like a massive solid column of fire shot out from his palm. Omega squad had no time to do anything as it engulfed them. The blast continued for seconds until it died down. When it ended the wall had a solid crater in it. An in that crater were the three unconscious leaders on Omega Squad.

Everything was silent as Dan stood there. He turned to us and simply smiled; and he looked very good doing it too I think I may have blushed a bit.

“Mares and Stallions we have our winner of this year Equestria War Games…Team B and their leader; DAN!!!” Celestia’s voiced boomed as she announced the victor. The stands where Dan’s team was exploded into cheers. Dan looked up into the stands as ponies cheered his name. “Yes yes there will be time for celebration my ponies but first we have a talk with your leader please go back to your barracks and relax. The festivities will begin shortly.” Celestia cut things short. She, her sister, Twilight and her friends, as well as Princess Cadence and Prince Shining Armor quickly made their way down to the floor as everyone left.


I stared at my hands in awe. An orange flame was flickering on them but I didn’t really feel any heat from it. It felt like it was a part of me. I looked to the crater on the wall. I was amazed that it was me that did that.

“Congratulations Dan.” Celestia’s voice snapped me out of my trance. I looked over to see everybody standing there. I looked to my hands and tried to see if I could control the flames with my thought.

“Fade.” I thought to my self and sure enough the flames died out jus leaving my gauntlets. Looking back at the group I noticed that one pony was sticking to the way back of the group. I walked towards them and they started to give me praises.

“Well Done Dan I must…” I walked right by Princess Celestia and Luna.

“DANTHATWASAMAZINGINEVER…” I drowned out Pinkie’s noise and kept walking.

“Shining tried to say something to me but I paid him no mind and kept walking till I reached the back of the group where Twilight was standing. Everyone got quiet as our eye met.

“Dan what you did was amaz…”

“ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR CELESTIA DAMNED FUCKING MIND!!!” I shouted as loudly as humanly possible. Twilight flinched..

“Just what in all that’s holy do you think you were doing! You could have gotten hurt Twilight. Your part of one of the most powerful forces on this planet Twilight!”

“Oh so I was just to supposed to watch you get hurt.” She went from being defensive to offensive.

“Twilight you know about my race we can take a beating. We’ve lived through things that you ponies can’t even begin to fathom yet. Trying to take a hit form me like that is definitely not one of your best decisions.

“We at least I was SHOWING THAT I CARED!!!”

“Oh you really want to do this now. You want to start this whole thing up again right now!!! Fine then go ahead, your still wrong if you think I’m not showing it.”

“Oh please Rarity’s acting when she overreacts is more visible than you!”

“Excuse me?” Rarity’s voice sounded off in the background.

“And what about you!?! You think I’m not showing interest what are you doing that’s so “visible”?”

“I’m doing plenty your just to much of an idiot to notice.”

“Dan, Twilight Sparkle that is enough!” Celestia shouted over both of us. I looked and saw that our friends were staring at us. Cadence broke the silence that followed.

“Is this about your fight that happened before all of this?” she gestured to the coliseum. We both nodded. “Well then how about instead of shouting at each other and leaving us in the dark you actually tell us what happened and maybe we can help.”

“Cadence is right dears. We all want to help you so can you trust us enough with your problems please?”

I shrugged and nodded and then looked to Twilight. She looked at everyone and then sighed. “Alright fine… if you must know… Back all those weeks ago I tried to start showing Dan that I was just more than interested than him.”

“And at the same time I started doing the same thing thinking that Twilight was smart enough to pick up on what I was doing.”

“Oh I’m smart enough you just a class dunce.”

We were about to start shouting again when Rarity interrupted us. “I’m sorry you two but what exactly were you doing?”

“I was acting like a female would to attract a male!”

“I was acting like a stallion would to attract a mare!”

Both sentences came out at the same time. We both heard each other, looked at each other and froze. I couldn’t believe what both of us just said. We both looked in front of us. The princesses were on the backs, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy were staring at us. Rarity and Cadence were both face hoofing and Shining…he was laughing loudly.

“HAHAHA That is what this is all about! Oh my gosh if I had known it was this simple HAHAHA!” His wife removed her hoof from her face in order to say something but Shining to stop her. “Sorry Cadence I’m sorry but this is rich. Heck this may just be the one problem where I don’t have to be a princess, or the Alicorn of Love, or an Element of Harmony to fix. Heck I’ll show you I can fix this right now.” He stopped talking and walked over to both of us.

“Ok you two I know what this is about and I’m telling you from experience that you’re going at this the completely wrong way. SO do us all a favor and just stop the acting and just say it. It’s easier than whatever you’re thinking of. Don’t try to be smooth, just come out and say it.” He said to us then turned and went back to his wife.

I looked at Twilight. Thinking about everything that had happened. Me coming here, being in my mind, the factory, nightmare night and her costume, the gala, us dancing in the night. Everything I felt from then until now it all pointed to one thing. I moved closer to her sat down. Took her hooves in my hand and looked her straight in the eyes.

“Well for once your brother is right Twilight. I probably should have just done this from the beginning. Twilight Sparkle I love you. I’m so in love with you it blinded me and made me do something stupid. I know now that I aced like an idiot but from now on I just want to be your idiot.” I smiled at her as I spoke. Everything came from the heart and I meant it.

Several “awwww”s came from the girls as I waited for Twilight’s response.

“After all this time reading about thing’s in books I felt like I knew how to get something like this right. Ever since I moved to Ponyville everything I knew has changed. And ever since I managed to summon you here everything was flipped on its head once again. It’s been completely exhausting trying to get back to a stable point.” She said looking at the ground, her ears laid back and a blush visible. “But with you it’s been so enjoyable and I just can’t help but admit that…I love you too.”

I looked into her eyes for what seemed like forever, then I pulled her into a kiss. It had been so long since I had felt happy like this. It just felt right. Hopefully after this things would be better..

“So after we get back to Ponyville let’s just agree to just say things instead of trying to play some weird game of charades.” I said after we broke our kiss.

“That sounds fine with me. Is that okay with everybody?” Twilight asked looking around. Everyone except for one nodded their heads in agreement.

“Oh but I’m really good at charades…” Pinkie frowned a little bit.

“Pinkie it’s just…” Twilight started to say.

“OH OH WAIT! Before we never play charades again I got a good one especially for right now!”

Twilight rolled here eyes and looked at me. I just shrugged and went with it. “Okay then Pinkie what is it?” I said.

She squeed a moment before going silent. She tapped her hoof three times on the ground.

“Three words…” the first thing she pulled out was a head of lettuce. I stared for a moment before she chopped it in half. Trying to think like her I put forward my best guess. “Uh…Let’s?” She nodded her head. Next she pulled out what looked like a checker board but had a grid with much smaller lines. She then put a white stone on it and a black stone on it. “Go?” she nodded again. The last thing she pulled out was her party cannon.

“Ok Pinkie I think I get the message. Let’s go party?”

“YES!!!” the pink pony shouted before taking off to head outside. Everyone laughed and began to follow her. I gave Twilight another quick kiss before getting up and following them. This was sure one heck another good adventure for me. And now that I had finally gotten over a stupid emotional hurdle things were looking up.

Chapter 28: First step: Party Hard, Second step: Don’t think about the hangover…

View Online

Chapter 28: First step: Party Hard, Second step: Don’t think about the hangover…

“So Dan are you in need of another healing spell?” Celestia asked me after we all finished laughing at Pinkie’s game of charades.

“Well. I believe that...” I said as I stood up. When I hit my full standing position I felt my body gave me feedback. My back cracked in multiple areas, my arms went limp, my knees locked my legs into position and the pain in my chest caused my upper half to lean forward almost to the point where gravity would force me to fall over. “Yeah I think I’m going to take you up on your offer for that Celestia.” I said trying my best to stay standing.

“Well then hold still. You were unconscious last time this was cast so it was a bit easier. You may feel some tingling.” I saw her horn light up and the glow extend towards my chest. When it connected I could feel energy surge within me like I had just been given a shot of adrenaline. It continued and spread up into my neck and down into my arms and legs.

It was like being wrapped in a nice hot towel. Not too hot or too warm but just enough that it was soothing to the touch. As quick as it had come the warmth left me and it was replaced by the feeling that my whole body was asleep.

“Ah, pins and needles!” I said as every little movement I made me feel like a million tiny doctors were prodding me with a million little needles that couldn’t pierce my skin. I slowly moved my body trying to reduce that feeling until it went away. I rotated my neck and my eyes caught sight of the crater I put in the wall; along with three shapes that were slowly rising within it.

Still stretching I started walking over towards it. “Dan what are you doing?” I heard Twilight call from behind me.

“I just have to finish something. Then we can all go party.” I said walking towards the wall and the three ponies who were helping each other out from the wreckage. I stopped a couple of feet from them and sat down. Not saying a word to them yet.

It took them awhile but finally Shock Point got fed up with me just staring at them and broke the silence. “Yes we lost. Is there anything else we can do to make you happy?”

“Do you think that’s the only reason I am over here?”

“Other than to gloat and throw it in our faces?”

“We were never on different sides. All of us are part of the guard, there’s no reason for me to do that. The reason all of this happened was not for me to show you up but to give you a hint at what you were doing wrong.”

“Well perhaps you can stop being all wise and mysterious and just get to the point!” Wind Shear said as Rock Smash was prying him from the indent he made in the wall.

“…well fine if you wanna go like that. You’re setting a bad example for leaders. You classify yourselves as the best and then put down all others that don’t make that mark based solely on limited knowledge. Did you see how hard my side fought? I saw mares and stallions tap into reserves of strengths that even I didn’t know they had. If you want to call yourself the best that also means being the best in raising others towards greater heights. THAT’S what you should be doing. If you want to call yourselves the best bring ponies up, give them something to strive towards and know that if they work hard and show every last ounce of ability they have that it will be what makes them accepted. Not because they don’t meet your first impression guidelines.” I let it all out hoping that my words made a good amount of success.

The three of them after checking themselves for injuries and dusting each other off sat there for a while thinking about what I had to say.

“He’s right.” Rock Smash said first surprising the other two. He was usually never the first to speak. “We started Omega Team out on the right hoof but somewhere along the line we just wanted to be the strongest in the worst possible definition. I guess getting our asses handed to us is the final nail in that coffin.” His two partners and I stared at him as he remained silence after those few sentences.

“Okay Rock I agree with what you’re saying, whole heartedly I do.” Wind Shear started. “but I think we might have to check if you have any brain damage because that’s the most I have ever heard you speak in like…well ever!” he was genuinely surprised. The two of them locked eye contact after that while I looked at Shock Point.

“So can we declare this over, shake on it, be friends, and go party because I’m not sure how much longer Pinkie Pie can be maintained. I pointed and looked over my shoulder. Pinkie pie was standing completely still just staring at us like she was taking the whole scene in for a painting. It frightened me so I tried to settle things as fast as possible.

“So what do ya say?” I said holding out my hand. Shock Point looked at me then to her teammates and then back to me with a smile on her face.

“I guess we can call that a deal.” she said placing her hoof in my hand and shaking. I could hear the girls behind us cheering a bit as I solved another problem that I had technically started.

“You know Dan you can be a very serious type of stallion when you want to. It’s a very… enduring quality.”

“Hey now watch it soldier, I’ve got a marefriend now. And if you remember what I just did when I got a little angry imagine what she will do.” I turned and waved Twilight over and as I finished talking.

“She’s a lucky mare.” Shock Point said as Twilight came closer.

“I like to think that I’m the lucky one.” I said back.

“Is everything alright now Dan? Pinkie is getting kinda…proddy.” She said taking a moment to rub her neck a bit.

“Don’t you mean pus...?” I started to say but I looked up and saw that Pinkie Pie had actually pulled a stick out of somewhere and was literally prodding everypony including the princesses towards the exit. “…I see…well then let’s get a move on.”

Shock Point walked quicker to catch up with her two friends and me and Twilight stayed a bit behind the group. I slowed down my pace so Twilight could keep up.

“So…” she said.

“So…” I returned not sure of what she wanted to speak of.

“Does this mean that you’re going to come back to Ponyville after this is over?” she asked.

“Well it would seem like the right thing to do. But I think I have to talk it over with Celestia and your brother considering that I’m still in the guard.

“Well Celestia we should talk to but I wouldn’t worry about Shining. I have ways of making him see things my way.” The end of her sentence sounded a bit creepy.

“You are talking about making Cadence get him to do whatever you want right?”

“Of course… What did you think I meant?” she gave me a confused look.

“…nothing. Oh and by the way, are we at that point in a relationship we both of us are going to start using “we” to refer to ourselves.”

“Why is that a bad thing? I read it in a book one night before everything happened and I thought it was the normal thing to do but if you don’t...”

“Twilight stop I get what you’re saying. I don’t mind it, it’s just that I’ve never really had it happen to me before. Being in a relationship, having a girlfriend…or marefriend in this case, being in love. So much is new to me. And now add to the fact that I also have my own magic.”

“Oh that’s right I completely forgot. Well not forget I put it on a mental checklist because I thought it would be better to get some other issues out of the way first. But since you brought it up. It’s amazing that you have magic now, I didn’t think you would be able to harness it. I can’t wait to get back the library and study it. Oh and you’ll need lessons on how to use it as well! I’ll have to put you through your own magic kindergarten.” Twilight started doing little Pinkie Pie like hops as her excitement built up. Slowly and surely she started jumping higher and higher.

“Ok that’s all well and good Twilight.” I said catching her in mid-air, tucking her under my arm. “I’m looking forward to all that but, let’s look forward to the celebration ahead. I think that you might also see a different side of me that you haven’t seen yet.”

“Oh what side would that be?” she asked struggling against my grip.

“Well if there is alcohol; it will be my drunk side specifically.”

Eventually after walking for a couple more minutes we reached the main parade ground of the camp. Many ponies were already starting the celebration. Ponies were drinking and having conversations with one another. Twilight and I arrived at the stage where Princess Celestia had started this whole thing off. Celestia, Luna, and the leaders of Omega squad were waiting for me at the stairs to the stage.

“Well now that you two have made it we can get underway.” Celestia said as I put Twilight down.

“Oh, sorry about that Princess. We just needed some time.”

“Twilight she’s joking. So anyway, why are you waiting for me? Do I get to make a speech or something.”

“Actually Dan yes you do, as the leader of the winning team you get to close the ceremonies with whatever words you see fit. But please try to make it something nice.”

“Alright Celestia I think I might have something in mind. Hey you three come up with me.” I said getting Omega Squads attention. Together all four of us walked up on stage. When Ponies from my team saw my a wave of cheers went out but quickly turned to boo’s when Shock Point, Rock Smash, and Wind Shear stepped up behind me.

“Hey Jarvis is the mic up?” I asked my helmet.

“Yes sir at one hundred percent capacity. Will it be loud enough for you sir?”

“Yeah that’ll be plenty Jarvis, thanks.” I looked into the crowd for a while before I spoke again. “HEY!!!” I shouted quieting the crowd quickly. “Now I don’t want to hear anymore booing from anypony. I and the Leaders of Team B have talked it out and now we are all on good terms. Now tonight I don’t want to hear any talk of winning or losing. The ponies you fought were still your fellow guardsponies. Instead I want ponies to be talking about how well each side fought. This is to be a celebration of how everypony performed. Now before I continue can everypony grab a mug of hard cider…and somepony grab me one too.” It took a couple of minutes because of the sheer number of ponies but eventually everyone got one.

“Now before I continue...” I said before taking a small taste of the cider. “Ooh boy is that good I’m gonna be having a lot of this tonight.” I said to the crowd; getting some laughs in return. “Alright then where was I…? Oh yeah, everypony raise your mugs.” I saw hoof after hoof rise into the air. Looking behind me I could see the princesses, Shining, Cadence, the girls, and Twilight doing the same thing.

“I’d like to thank everypony here for everything they did. It doesn’t matter if I fought with you or against you, I will consider you an ally. Let us give thanks to everything our family, friends, and fellow guards have done for us so that we can be standing here after a good fight. And let us give thanks to anything I might have forgotten to say. NOW DRINK!” I shouted to everyone and began to chug down the cider. Out of the corner of my eye I could see ponies doing the same.

After finishing the drink I placed the mug on the closest table and said one last thing. “Alright then everypony, with that out of the way LET”S PARTY!” I said as loud as I could before I was drowned out by cheers.

Turning around to I walked over to the group. “Well that wasn’t as good as I usually do but I think it served its purpose.

“Well you’re right about one thing, it wasn’t your most grand speech but I’ve seen plenty worse in my life.” Celestia said to me as I came back to the group. “By the way Dan, am I correct in assuming that since you and Twilight have now made up that you will want to be going back to Ponyville?”

“Well I do want to but I still don’t want to leave the squad like that. I mean I know it’s only a short train ride and now that I have magic which may let me be able to fly, it will be easier, but I still feel like something would be off.. Do you know what I mean Celestia?” I asked her.

She looked off into the distance for a while before a small smile broke onto her face. “Well Dan I think I might have an idea that will work. Why don’t you leave it up to me.” She said her smile turning a bit sly.

“Why do I have the feeling that this is a little nefarious plan of yours?”

“Nefarious? Me? Never.” She said in a mocking tone before walking off into the crowd.

I walked about shaking hooves with other guards and letting say whatever they felt like to me. I had a couple of more drinks before I finally found Twilight and the girls again.

“Oh, Dan, there you are!” Twilight said as I came up to her. She was busy talking to Swift Gale about me, her cheeks seemed a little flushed.

“Oh boy you two are talking about me, which point?” I asked as I grabbed another mug of cider.

“Oh Swift was just telling me about the part where you two were sparring and she accidently…well I was about to find out when you came over. So what accidently happened Swift?” She looked to my second in command who was now blushing herself.

“Oh I…well you see I… um how can I put this gently…” Swift was trying to find some way to say it to my marefriend.

“She panicked when I went for a grab and touched her flank and she kicked me in the balls knocking me unconscious.” I said in one breath before I started downing my sixth mug of hard cider.

“WHAT!!!” Twilight shouted doing double takes in between Swift and me.

“It was a training accident I said that I was sorry. And it’s not like it crippled him in anyway.” She said with a sheepish smile trying to talk a shocked Twilight down.

“B-but you…and him…FLANKS!?!?” she kept sputtering her words.

“Twilight babe it’s okay like she said it was an accident let it go.” I said after finishing the mug and laying my arm across her withers.

“Oh fine…” she said slumping down in defeat. “Wait a minute... “babe”? Um Dan how many ciders have you had to drink?” her energy was renewed as she looked back at me.

“Um… I think this makes six?” I said looking at the mug in my hands.

“SIX!!!” both mares turned and looked at me with surprise.

“Alright now before both of you start sayin that it’s too much remember one thing. I’m a little more than twice your sizes so any reference you have on ponies drinking alcohol doesn’t readily apply to me.” I said to them as coherently as I could. I was about to continue when I spied something going on in the background which caught my interest.

“And second look over at the dessert table over there I think something awesome is going to happen.” The two looked to where I mentioned and were hopefully seeing what I was. Every couple of seconds a hoof came out from under the tablecloth and grabbed one dessert and pulled it back under. Normally I would assume that it was just Pinkie Pie but after I got a good look I could see that one hoof that came up sometimes was black and blue. Even in my slightly buzzed state I could tell that Pinkie Pie and Flintlock Spark were under the table and soon it would probably lead to something funny.

I encouraged everyone to watch as more and more desserts disappeared. Soon there was only one cupcake left on the table. Slowly both hooves appeared on opposite sides of the table and began searching. It took them a minute before both of them found the cupcake, each of them landing a hoof on opposite sides. Each slowly began pulling and when they felt tugs at either side the battle began.

They both struggled to take home their prize each pulling so hard that the other pony came out from under the table. But then with some kind of unknown strength Pinkie pulled so hard that Flintlock came over the table. With this Pinkie went under the table and came out the other side. And this didn’t happened once though this happened a couple of times so fast that it looked like there was a solid ring on pink and neon blue circling the table.

After a couple of seconds of this they both crashed onto the table on their stomachs facing each other the cupcake still in mint condition landing between their muzzles. Both of them opened their eyes to see their opponents. And while Pinkie Pie still had the battle like look in her eyes, Flintlock eye looked a little different. They were more like he had just heard the question and answer to everything in the universe.

“Oh I’m sorry I didn’t know you were trying to get this cupcake.” He said smiling at her

“Whaddya mean you didn’t know? We’ve been fighting over it for minutes now.” Pinkie Pie seemed puzzled.

“Oh have we now? I guess I forgot once I saw your beautiful blue eyes.” He said trying to put on a dashing smile. I had been in the middle of my eighth cider when he said that and I did a glorious spit take. Me, Twilight, the girls, and everypony in my squad started laughing at what Flintlock had just said.

I kept laughing it up until I felt something tap my shoulder. Turning around I saw that Princess Luna was the one who tapped my shoulder and Spitfire was standing next to her. “Dan we have a proposition for you.” Luna said.

“Ok I’m sober enough to hear you out.” I said with as straight of a face as I could.

“Ok then? Well I was talking with Flight Captain Spitfire and…”

“Is that really your title Spitfire?” I cut Luna off.

“Um yes? How many mugs of cider have you had Dan?” Spitfire asked with a worried look.

“Well that’s awesome…and to answer your question, not enough. So what is it you would like Princess?”

“Well Dan we were hoping that you would do us the honor of playing some of that new music of yours. But if you’re too inebriated then…”

“WELL EEEEXXCCCUUSSSEEEE ME PRINCESS! But I’m fine enough to do anything…and in fact I actually have a song in mind. You set up the instruments and I’ll do the whole music thing. Go into my head and you’ll see what you need.”

Minutes later I was up on a stage with my guitar strapped on and my tenth mug of cider in my hands. Luna was back on the drums and some other ponies had been chosen for the other instruments.

“ATTENTION EVERYPONY!!!’ I said into the microphone catching the attention of the crowd. It had died in size a bit since some ponies took their leave already so they could be back to their post and positions tomorrow, but that didn’t mean the energy had died down. “Alright now that I have your attention let me just finish this drink.” I said before chugging down my tenth cider.

“Okay now let me ask you a question people. Are you having fun tonight? Because if you are, then I have an awesome song for you. ARE YOU READY!!!” the cheering they gave me was enough of an answer. “Ok I’ll take that as a maybe but I’m still going to do this thing anyway.” I gave Luna the signal to start and she started with the drums and was followed by a pony on the Piano who was then followed by me playing my guitar.




HEY hey HEY hey HEY hey HEY hey YEAH!!!

When we heard that the world was a way to go
We took the stupid thing to a whole other level OH!
When they saw what we did to it all below
we took the stupid thing and we asked it a yes or no

i took it to the ground i took it to the ground
with a one two three it was down the count
i took it to the floor they raised my stupid hand and said
pay no attention to the stupidest champion

we want fun but we want something more
you've got to lay down on it
we want you so get up off the floor...
don't ever lay down on it
we don't want to ever live or die...!!!
it's going to be hard but we can make it today
You've got to HEY! hey! HEY! hey! take it to play

We want fun! And you better believe it
We want fun! you do it or leave it
We want fun! No you don't understand
You got to HEY! hey! HEY! hey! Make your demands

We want fun! And you never can see it!
We want fun! So you take it, or leave it
We want fun and you might as well face it
we wanna have fun and we want to get WASTED...!!!

When we heard that time wasn't ours to Kill
We took the stupid thing then we gave it a real thrill
When they saw we were back on the map again
mom And dad started getting real sad again

we want fun but we want something more
you've got to lay down on it
we want you so get up off the floor...
don't ever lay down on it
we don't want to ever live or die...!!!
it's going to be hard but we can make it today
You've got to HEY! hey! HEY! hey! take it to play

We want fun! And you better believe it
We want fun! you do it or leave it
We want fun! No you don't understand
You got to HEY! hey! HEY! hey! Make your demands

We want fun! And you never can see it!
We want fun! So you take it, or leave it
We want fun and you might as well face it
Where are fun and we want to get WASTED!!!


We Want Fun More Fun More Fun
Yeah what do we Want what do we want
We Want Fun More Fun More Fun
Yeah what do we Want what do we want
We Want Fun More Fun More Fun
Yeah What Do We Want We Know What We Want!!!
We want fun and you might as well face it
Where wanna have fun and we want to get

I belted out the last lyrics before falling flat on my back. Within seconds Twilight was looking down at me. “Ok Dan I think that you’ve had enough to drink.”

“ok I think you’re right on this one Twilight help me back up so I can tell the crowd something.” She gave me a couple nudges so I could get to my feet.

“Alright everypony my marefriend says that I’ve had enough to drink so I think I got to stop for tonight.” A little bit of booing from the crowd made me a bit defensive. “Hey hey none of that now.” I said before I reached over to Twilight.

“Dan what are you, ahh!” she squealed as I picked her up and showed her to the crowd.

“Crowd meet Twilight Sparkle, Twilight meet the crowd.” She made a small wave with a sheepish smile on her face. “She’s the mare I’m in love with and I’m going to take her word on some things. And I dare any of you to try and come up here and tear us apart… Actually I’m making it a challenge. Come up here and FIGHT ME FOR TWILIGHT SPARKLE’S LOVE AND AFFECTION I”LL TAKE ON ALL CHALLENGERS!!!”

For a while all was silent besides Twilight telling me to put her down but then a voice rang out behind me. “I’ll challenge you for Twiley.” I turned to Find Shining in a fighting stance. He looked like he had also had a bit too much to drink.

“Shiney what are you doing! Don’t embarrass yourself like this!”

“Don’t worry Twilight it’s fine for your brother to defend your honor.” I said as I sat her down, she started to move towards her brother but Cadence blocked her with an outstretched hoof.

“Don’t get in their way Twilight.” She said trying to keep a smile on her face.

“But they are about to do something completely stupid!”

“That’s what happens when Men with big egos have too much to drink. Besides your friends don’t seem to mind.” She said pointing to the other five girls who appeared to be taking bets.


“It’s okay Twilight.” Cadence kept trying to calm her. “It’s only a little fun…plus I already bet on your brother.”

“CADENCE!!!” Twilight last shout was loud. After that I focused on Shining.

“Alright then Shining Armor the fight you’ve been waiting for, first I’ll take care of you and then move on to the rest…oh hold on I thought of a way to make this more interesting. OH AND BY THE WAY EVERYONE! IF YOU DON’T WANT TWILIGHT AS A PRIZE THAN INSTEAD YOU CAN TRADE IT IN FOR A FAVOR FROM EITHER PRINCESS!!!” that got the crowd warmed up. And it was the last thing I remembered clearly that night.

Chapter 29: Don't eve let her forget it.

View Online

Chapter 29: Don’t ever let her forget it.

I woke up, feeling as though my liver had sent several hundred petitioners to noisily protest in my head. Opening my eyes, the sun's bright rays quickly attacked and forced me to shut them in pain. I don’t know why there were so many times where I just had to wake up in a weird way. Slowly I stretched my limbs trying to see if it would relieve some of the pain. While stretching I noticed that whatever I was lying on was moving.

“Oh god, what happened and how much did I have to drink?”

“Oh look, you’re finally awake,” I heard a familiar voice say. After finally opening my eyes and looking around I saw Twilight standing on the stage from the party last night. The only thing that was weird was that I was at eye level with her. I managed to twist my neck enough to see under me and I saw that I was lying on a pile of ponies.

“Ok let’s see if I can do this gently. One… Ta-whooo…Three!” I rolled to my right and fell a couple of feet before landing on my side with a resounding crunch. I laid there for a couple seconds before Twilight came over and cast a shadow over me.

“How many times will it take until you learn to stop hurting yourself?” she said; her face was a mix of worry, pity, and a hint of anger.

“The world may never know.” I grunted as I rolled onto my stomach and got onto my hands and knees. “So would you like to fill me in on what I did after, I’m assuming, I blacked out? I remember singing…then something about how much I love you…and then said I would fight anypony for you?” It all seemed a bit hazy in my head.

“Oh yeah you did all that, and not that I minded the whole ‘how much you love me’ thing in front of the crowd. But starting a huge brawl over it?”

“How much did I have to drink…and wasn’t your brother involved too?” I said as I climbed to my feet.

“Oh yeah you started fighting with him and then a bunch of other ponies jumped in and well...” she gestured to the pile of ponies behind me who were starting to try and untangle themselves.

“Your brother isn’t in there is he?” I asked, hoping I wouldn’t have to dig him out.

“No, you actually knocked him out pretty quickly. He’s over there on the stage where he spent the night. Cadence decided to let him ‘stay with the boys’ or whatever that means.”

“Wow, she is a good wife,” I said looking over towards the stage. Shining was up sitting on his stomach using his front hooves to rub his head. Cadence stood over him with a warming smile and a mug of coffee.

“Do I get something to drink to?” I asked before I noticed that something was casting a shadow over my head. Looking up I saw a bucket that I could only hope was filled with water; being suspended in Twilight’s magic. “Please tell me not…” I started to say before the bucket slowly drifted down and landed in front of me.

“Please Dan, you should know I’m not like that. I figured that since you can drink more than ordinary ponies, that you could use a bit more water. I just want to try and be a good marefriend.”

It might have been my imagination or the hangover but I could swear she was putting some emphasis on certain words. I grabbed the bucket and slowly raised it to my lips. The cool water felt heavenly going down my throat and I took gulp after gulp until I had consumed about half the bucket.

“Oh thank whatever deity for crisp clean cold morning water,” I said as I dipped my hands into the bucket and splashed some water on my face. It helped to alleviate a bit of the pain and feeling of fatigue. “Oh that feels good…hey Twilight, did I ever put a shirt on last night after everything?”

“No and you’re still shirtless now…why?” she asked as I got to my feet with the bucket in my hands and proceeded to pour what water was left over my head.

Ooohhaahahaha” was the sound that came out of my mouth as the cold water ran over the nerve ending in my skin waking me up further. “Oh that’s the stuff!” I squeaked out as I gave myself a little impromptu bath. “So what’s on the agenda for today Twilight?” I said as I scrubbed my half naked body.

“Well first you’re going to put on a shirt.” She levitated one over to me; I could see a faint blush on her cheeks. “And then we were going to get your things, say goodbye to everypony, and then go back to Ponyville; where Pinkie will probably want to throw the both of us a party.”

My stomach churned when she said the word ‘party’. “Not that I’m going to mind another celebration but can you please not use the ‘P’ word. My body is still recuperating.”

“Ok big guy, now let’s get a move on. We don’t want to miss the train…oh and I have one piece of advice that I couldn’t give you last night.”

“Is it about not drinking too much?” I asked.

“Nope.” She replied before her horn lit up and she used her magic to pull me down to eye level with her. “Don’t ever call me BABE again.” she growled. The angry look in her eyes made her look serious…and just slightly cute.

“Ok ok I got it Twi, you can let go now,” I said before she released the grip she had on my shirt. The walk to the barracks after that was quiet. I was trying to remember what had happened last night.

“So Twilight?”


“So I can’t really remember…but I guess that since I was laying on top of the pile of ponies that I won my little challenge?” I asked hoping that something she said would trigger a memory. Oddly enough she stopped walking, looked at me for a fraction of a second and started laughing. “Oh boy there’s something I’m missing, isn’t there?” I said while I waited for her to finish laughing.

“Yeah the end of the fight is about when the party ended for you. Oh and no you didn’t win, Red Star did.” she said wiping a tear away and continuing to walk towards the barracks.

I stood there in there in disbelief for a while. “…red star? ….RED STAR!?!?!” I yelled running to catch up to Twilight who had already made it to the barracks. “Alright I gotta know…how did he beat me?” I asked as I opened the door for her.

“Well it happened a couple of minutes after you began fighting random ponies. Everyone that came to fight was about as drunk as you were and when it seemed like you would be the last guard standing…Red Star broke a chair over your back.” She managed to say with a straight face before bursting into laughter again.

“He…broke a chair over my back…really?” I was shocked as Twilight answered me with a nod as she regained her breath. “I…I can’t believe that…he would be so creative like that. Next time I see him I got to give him a pat on the back. That was pretty good thinking.”

“Are you being serious right now? Or just very sarcastic?”

“Serious. When you get into a drunken brawl you can’t expect to be defeated gracefully. Whatever happens, happens. Actually, wait a minute, there is one more thing. If he hit me in the back with a chair…then how did I end up lying face up?”

“Oh you did a dramatic mid-air turn with a very Rarity like dramatic flourish.” Twilight said in a deadpanned tone as she helped me pack up my things.

Half an hour later we exited with my things. Twilight was helping me by carrying some things in her magic while I had my bag on my shoulder and my sword strapped to my back. “So where is everypony? I haven’t seen anypony from the squad and that’s weird considering I can usually see Flintlock who knows where all over the camp.” I hadn’t seen plenty of ponies from the games but I wanted to say goodbye to the squad. I had talked to Celestia about it and she had come up with her own plan, but I had no clue what it could be.”

“Well I know the girls went into the city to do some quick things, we are all going to meet up at the train station. But I haven’t seen anypony from your squad as well. But you talked to Princess Celestia about it right? I’m sure that she came up with something right?” she said trying to cheer me up.

Looking down at her and into her eyes I couldn’t help but smile just a bit. “Yeah she is pretty smart when it counts. Although in a fight; if you surprise her too bad you may end up paying the price.”

“I don’t know what that’s supposed to mean Dan.”

“It means tha...” I started to say before I was interrupted by a shadow over head.

“It means Twilight…” Celestia said as she flew done and landed near us. “That Dan here is still a little sore about his ‘initiation’. I thought that you liked how the fight went Dan?”

“I did how like how the fight progressed Celestia. But I didn’t like the part where I apparently scared you into using a triple gravity crush spell to basically put me six feet under!” I said a bit angrily as I remembered what happened.

“Gravity crush spell? Dan, you do know that there is no spell named that?”

“Yes; and while that is true it was also more like ten feet, the ground in the coliseum was a bit softer than I had thought.” Celestia’s coy smile was just egging me on.

“Oh really now ten feet?!” I said, putting on the maximum amount of sarcasm I could muster. “Oh, and by the way Twilight, yes I do know. I just haven’t studied any magic to know what the spell is named. Now how about we get to the train station before anything you two are about to say gives me an aneurysm?” I said before stomping off while hearing the two ponies giggle behind me.

The three of us met Luna, Cadence, and Shining at the entrance to the palace. Since it was still a guard holiday, Shining had the day off and Cadence and him thought it would be a nice opportunity to come back to Ponyville with us for the rest of the day.

It was a quiet walk to the train station where we met the rest of the girls. Pinkie and Rainbow Dash were fighting over some treats while Rarity, Applejack, and Fluttershy watched them with only one pony giving a look of worry.

We all said our goodbyes to the Princesses and boarded the train afterwards. The long ride back gave me some time to think about what was going to happen. I wondered about what Celestia’s plan was. And also about my newly discovered magic. How did it work and why exactly did I get it?

Time passed quicker than I thought as we arrived in Ponyville. Getting off the train I felt relieved. The atmosphere always seemed to calm everything.


I took back my last statement as a small group of ponies rushed to tackle me. Lyra was leading the pack made up of herself, Bon Bon, Vinyl, Octavia, Doc Whooves, Caramel, Thunderlane, and Snowflake. When they were about five feet from me they all jumped to tackle me to the ground. Instinctively I held my hand out , and closed my eyes waiting for their weight to collide into me. Seconds later when nothing had happened I slowly opened my eyes to see what happened.

In my panic my magic had activated and grabbed each pony in mid-air. Each of them looked surprised as my fire like aura held them…well except for Lyra whose eyes lit up in joy.

“You can do magic now?!?!?” the enthusiasm in her voice was very high.

“Uh yes? Oh and HI guys, been awhile huh?”

“A while is an understatement Dan. You’ve got some explaining to do… now can you please let us down.” Bon Bon was easily the angriest in the group.

“Ok ok let me figure out how to…” I said as I tried to control my magic. Relaxing a bit and controlling it like my armor I thought and gave it the command to stop. In an instant the glow disappeared leaving the ponies to fall into a tangled mess. Laughing a bit I helped them untangle themselves. “Oh and don’t you guy and gals worry I’ve got such a story to tell you.” I said smiling.

“I don’t know Dan it was such a big and confusing story, don’t you think you might need a bit of help from some ponies that saw most of what happened?” I heard a familiar voice say from a little down the train platform. Turning to face the voiced I saw a familiar Pegasus.

“Swift? What are you doing…?” I started to ask before several shadow jumped out from behind her straight towards me.

“SURPRISE!!!” Flintlock shouted as he was the first to collide with me.

“WAAGH!!!” I shouted as several bodies dragged me down to the floor. “Wha? What are you guys doing here?” I said as my squad mates got up after jumping me.

“Princess Celestia didn’t tell you?” Jonagold Apple said as he came off the train and stood next to Swift.

“DAD!?!?” Applejack’s voice was joined by her other two siblings who had walked up behind the first group. All three of them rushed over to hug their father.

“Well Dan; We knew that you were going to miss us but we didn’t count on you telling Celestia about it. As it turns out she thought that it was about time that Ponyville have squad of the guard here to help for when things go wrong. So she sent us since we were the squad in charge of the winning team of the Equestrian War Games.” Swift took over explaining while Jonagold was being hugged by his kids.

“That smart, over confident, smug know it all of a Princess really knows how to make a plan come together.” I said; my grin reaching from ear to ear. A small tug on my pants made me look down and see spike holding up a scroll for me. I hadn’t even realized that he had gotten here; he could be really sneaky if he wanted.

“If you think that’s smart Dan, she sent this for you for when you got here,” he said as he handed me the scroll. Opening it up I looked at the message written on it.

“Dear Dan. Thank you for the compliment and you’re welcome,” I said as my expression quickly changed from curious to deadpan. “So Swift, I guess this means that you guys are going to live here now?” I asked her, trying to forget how troll like Celestia was being.

“Yeah Captain Shining has already gotten everything set up. It’s pretty much perfect right?” I looked to Shining who gave me one of the silent guy shrugs that said ‘I know’.

“Yeah it is pretty much perfect…although I can think of one more thing that would make it even better…”

“HEY JONAGOLD!!!” a voice called out from beyond the platform. Jona who had just untangled himself from his kids turned to face his caller and was immediately hit the face with a snowball. Looking to where it came from; all of us saw his wife; Gala Apple standing next to a royal chariot that had presumably carried her here.

‘”MOM?!?” said the three Apple siblings before they rushed past their father and glomped on their mother.

“Well hey there my darlings,” she said. Hugging the two older siblings and then sweeping Applebloom off her hooves into a hug.

“Gala I don’t… I mean…how?” Jonagold struggled to find the right words.

“Well I was just minding my business up in the frozen north growing plants that can survive in the cold when this here chariot came down and on of the guards gave me a message from the Princess. Now instead of breeding plants for different environments, she wants me to see if I can get those kinds of plants to live in normal environments like this one. The message even came with a grant to get all the equipment we need to set it up at the farm!” she said smiling softly at her husband.

“Does that mean?” Applebloom said; her eyes widening in excitement.

“It means we are gonna be home from now on little one,” Gala said, giving her youngest a nuzzle.

As I stood on the platform watching this unfold I looked over at Swift. “Ok Swift now it’s perfect.” I said as I watched the family celebrate. “Hey Pinkie! I think we are going to need to make this a bigger party!”

“Ooh then I’m going to need some help…can Flintlock help me?” she asked seemingly pulling the pony out of nowhere.”

“Uh, sure…” I said raising an eyebrow.

Soon enough me, Twilight, Spike, and the twenty plus other ponies were inside Sugarcube Corner; living it up at a Pinkie Pie’s party with some Flintlock Spark flair. And by flair I mean everything was a bit more “explodey” the usual. I told everypony from Ponyville about my time in the guard. All the guys and Vinyl laughed and the mares gasped when I told them about my spar with Swift Gale; Swift on the other hand blushed profusely. I had pony’s jaws on the floor when I told them about the battles and everything leading up to getting my magic. And when I told them about my moment with Twilight all the mares; sans Vinyl “Awwed”. And then I had every pony laughing when I told them about my drunken shenanigans.”

“I still think you shouldn’t have done the whole fighting thing.” Twilight said as I finished my story.

“But drunken shenanigans are the best kind of shenanigans!” I said to her. We both sat at a table after my story was done.

“But it…and you…humpfff.” she pouted; puffing out her cheeks adorably.

“OH don’t be like that Twilight this is a party!” Pinkie appeared at our table. “Just pretend like it yours or Dan’s birthday, I bet that would cheer you up!” I nodded a bit at her kind of sagely advice.

“I got to agree with Pinkie on this one. Although we already passed my birthday.” The music stopped abruptly. And Pinkie stopped in her tracks and turned to face me with the force of a hurricane.

“WHAT!!!” her voice boomed; her eyes were wide in surprise with just a hint of fear. “What did you say?”

“That I agreed with you?” I shrunk in my seat a little.

“NO! The thing after that!”

“That we already passed my birthday?”

“YES!!! I MEAN NO!!! We can’t have passed your birthday because I didn’t throw you a party for it!” she inched closer and closer to the point where our faces were almost touching.

“Well it was back in the fall and we had all the stuff happening and I even forgot I didn’t think it was such a big deal.”

“Not a big deal! NOT A BIG DEAL!! I make it my job to make sure that everypony is super duper happy on their birthday in Ponyville. I would try for in the whole world but I don’t have the right equipment yet, but that’s not important. You have to let me make it up to you!” Her voice took on a pleading tone.

“But Pinkie…”

“But nothing mister. Please please please please please please please!?!?! There’s gotta be something you want right?”

I could tell that she wasn’t really going to take no for an answer. I looked around the room for a way out but didn’t find much. I saw Shining and something clicked in the back of my head, a weird idea that I had thought of way back that I would never be able to pull off.

“You know what? Pinkie I actually do have something in mind for you.” The pink mare nodded her head rapidly and I pulled her in so I could whisper my plan to her. When we moved apart she smiled brightly.

“Okie Dokie Loki!!! I got it, I just need to borrow your helmet thingy so I know the music. But other than that it will be ready in two shakes of a pony tail,” she said before zooming off.

“Dan what did you tell her to do?” Twilight had the right idea to be suspicious.

“I can’t tell you, it would ruin the surprise…but it is going to be a nice surprise,” I said, smiling.

Over the next couple of minutes I notice Pinkie putting her plans into action. Ponies started disappearing as Pinkie needed for “the project”. It was also funny to watch Cadence’s reaction as her husband suddenly disappeared.

“Um, Dan, Twilight, either of you wouldn’t happen to have seen where Shining went to right?” she asked as she came to join us at our table.

“If he suddenly vanished then Pinkie has possibly abducted him for her project to make up for missing Dan’s birthday,” Twilight replied flatly.

“Oh ok then…wait what are they doing?” she said, now looking at me.

“Oh don’t worry Cadence it’s nothing dangerous at all…I fact I think it will be more humorous than anything.”

“I’m not sure I get what-” Cadence started to say but was cut off.

Attention everypony!” Pinkie Pie’s voice called out and drew all the attention to a stage that seemingly was put together without anyone noticing. “Since I wasn’t informed of our good friend; Dan’s birthday. I’ve taken it upon myself to prepare a little musical number that he suggested. And with the help of some of our friends I present a performing of the song “A Modern Major General”!!!”

Pinkie bounced off the the staged as the curtain rose and everyone behind it began the performance. In my eyes it was great, I was about to laugh my head off through the whole thing and then Shining came out and did his singing part. I was in complete shock. It was too funny to do anything. I simply sat there with my mouth open watching as the song went on.

Went it was finished everyone who wasn’t on stage began to laugh and clap furiously. I was on the ground holding my sides because they hurt too much. It was the perfect way to end a pretty much perfect day.


View Online


I’m sitting in a nice lounge chair atop a hill overlooking a beautiful sunset and a field of flowers. Looking to my right Twilight walks by in her half human form; wearing a very good looking sundress and hands me as cold bottle of beer. I accept it and pay her with a kiss on the cheek as she sits down in a chair next to mine. Everything is quiet as we watch the sun go down and the view it gave us.

“Wow…well it looks like I owe Tia five bits then. I thought that from your actions your dreams would be more…action orientated.” A voice to my left said.

Looking to my left I made out Princess Luna; who had also assumed a semi human form. “Oh hey, Luna. I didn’t even know you knew that spell. I don’t think Twilight has finished it though she says she wants to get closer to me; you know; with less fur and actual feet. But I think that she still cute no matter how she looks…did you say dreams?”

“Yes I did, we are in your dream right now…and you still seem very calm about this.” Luna said.

“Well… I guess that everything is just making me feel really mellow and relaxed… So why exactly are you in my dreams? Is something wrong?” I asked a question but my voice still sounded like I was a happy drunk.

“Oh no nothing is wrong. I am just getting back into the swing of one of my jobs as mistress of the night...”

“Heh, phrasing.” I chuckled as my mind conjured a very non PG rated image.

“Ahem, yes and I was just going over what dreams look like when they are over and I realized that I haven’t seen what a human dream looks like when it is disturbed.” She said as she conjured her own chair and took a seat.

“What do you mean disturbed?” managing to raise an eyebrow in my relaxed state.

“Well knowing your beloved, the time, and some other aspect that I think you can’t realize at this moment. We should just be…right …on time…ah here we are!” she said pointing out into the fields, the skies darkening as she did.

Looking in the direction she was pointing it was too easy to notice what she was talking about. A gigantic tsunami blotted out everything in its wake. “So can I get an explanation for that please?”

“Well your body is able to sense things happening to it and representations of said happenings will appear in your dreams…albeit they will be exaggerated.”

“Ok then…so exaggeration aside. What does this giant tsunami tell us?” I said never taking my eyes of the approaching wave.

“Well besides “giant tsunami” being a redundant phrase. It means your wake up is going to be a bit…wet.” She said with a small smile.

“Well then…it’s been fun Luna, you should join me again sometime in my dreams…however creepy that may or may not sound.”

“Don’t worry Dan, I won’t tell anyone about you little speech flub ups. Although hopefully next time I will be in my regular form though. Not that I mind your human form I am simply not used to this.”

“It’s OK Luna... oh and if next time you are in your pony form just remind me not to stand behind you.” I said thinking of a quick joke.

“Why pray tell? Is there something wrong with my backside?” She asked.

“Well sort of…you're always…MOONING me!” I said putting on my cheesiest smile as the waves crest was completely over us and it started to fall.

Luna’s face went from worry to annoyance very quickly before the water hit us. “Really!?!?! That’s how you end this meeting between us?” she said in an annoyed tone.

“Hey my dream my rules.” I managed to say before the wave came down and I felt something cold hit my face and break my dreamscape. My body reacted automatically; my limbs flail and I felt myself move in some kind of random direction. I coughed, sputtered, and tried to clear my nose of water as everything came to.

“Oh good, that did wake you up, I was wondering if it would work considering how hard you are to wake up sometimes.” Twilight’s voice came at me from a direction I wasn’t sure of yet. As the sting of water being in many of my orifices that it shouldn’t be I managed to open my eyes and noticed that something was a bit off.

“Twilight…please tell me that I just fell out of the bed upside down and that you’re not really on the ceiling?”

“Well first off, yes, and secondly I’m wondering how you didn’t feel anything from falling off the bed.” She said with an adorable giggle.

“Well when your body is overloaded with too many things, some feelings are just left by the wayside.” I said as I started to get to my feet. “What time is it anyway?”

“It’s just about eight in the morning now hurry up and go take a shower or you’re going to be late!” she said in a very enthusiastic sing song voice.

“Wait for what…and why are you so happy about it?” I was a bit confused and scared. Having Twilight being this cheerful this early in the morning usually didn’t work in my favor.

“I’m not telling you anything until you get into the shower mister now hurry up!” She levitated my clothes into my arms and grabbed a towel for me, winding it up and snapping me in the back side with it.

“OW! Ok ok I’m going!” I grabbed that towel out of here telekinetic grip and shut the bathroom door. I scrubbed myself good and came out feeling awake. “Ok Twilight I’m all squeaky clean now!” I called downstairs.

“Did you fill out the checklist?” I heard her shout up. I looked over the wall in annoyance where a poster hung on the wall. On it was the morning health duties of Twilight, Spike, and I.

“But Twilight!” I said groaning slightly.

“NO BUTS MISTER NOW HURRY UP!!!” her shout was a bit louder this time. Sighing to myself I took the little marker and marked off my part of the list for the day.

“Ok Twilight I did it, now what are we doing so early that’s so impor…” I stopped talking when I saw that the library was very full for eight in the morning. Looking around I saw the rest of the girls; Rainbow looked crabby presumably because of how early she was up. And next to them was at least half of the squad, and also joining them was Derpy, Cheerilee, and Lyra.

“Ok what’s going on…are we having an intervention? Is it for Rarity being a drama queen and over acting?” I said looking to the white unicorn who glared angrily at me.

“Well I never!!!” she replied.

“Ok you two knock it off!” I turned around to see Twilight; who had her hair tied up in a bun and glasses on. I also noticed that she was standing next to a small stack of books, a chalkboard, and a couple of small desks. And sitting at those desks were Sweetie Belle, Dinky, Scribble Page, Flintlock Spark, and Flash Bang.

“Ok I’m completely at a loss now. What is going on?”

“Well it’s simple Dan.” Twilight said grabbing my hand in her magic leading me towards an empty desk. “Well, you have the ability to use magic now but that doesn’t mean you know how to use it properly. And that’s when an idea struck me, there are also some unicorn fillies in the town who don’t know much about magic yet. So I figured I could get a couple things done that would help everybody in a simple way.” She said moving to the black board and levitating a piece of chalk. “So without further ado… Welcome to Magic Kindergarten!!!” she said with great enthusiasm. The only sound in the room was the sounds of Sweetie Belle, Dinky, and Flintlock clapping.

“Any questions?” Twilight said out loud hoping that anypony would ask a question. I slowly raised my hand. “Yes Dan?”

“Ok I get Sweetie Belle and Dinky being here…but what about them?” I said pointing to my three squad mates. Flintlock opened his mouth to give a reply but his mouth was blocked by a hoof.

“I volunteered them.” Swift said as she wiped her hoof on the floor after removing it from Flintlock’s mouth. They may have their trademark spells but overall; they are lacking in a lot of places.” I could see her sadistic smile that she put on whenever we were training. “And I figured there would be no better way to get their skills up than by learning from the best there is.” she said pointing a hoof at Twilight who blushed slightly from the praise.

“Well thank you Swift. Now are there any other questions before we begin?” I slowly raised my hand up again. “Really Dan? And no you can’t leave...and don’t let me catch you sneaking out!”

“Oh with everypony here I wouldn’t even make it to the door. No my question that I was going to ask was…is there any chance I can get a desk in my size?” I looked straight down to the desk made for foals that didn’t even come up to my knee.

“Oh I’m sorry Dan I didn’t even think about that, I was just so happy that I would be teaching magic I completely forgot about it.” Her tone had a mix of her actually being sorry and her mocking me. Knowing I wouldn’t like an answer for any question I asked next I got down and sat on the little stool which I didn’t really fit on, folded my legs, and put the desk over them hoping that this would be more interesting than my mind was currently making it not seem.

“Alright then class!” Twilight started out; writing some things on the board. “My name is Ms. Twilight...”

“We already know your name.” I said, lifting my head from the desk and pinching the bridge of my nose.

“Ahem…well right. And today we are…”

“All of us already know why we are here.” I interrupted her again and got a piece of chalk thrown at me.

“Anyway, welcome to your magic lessons. Today’s lesson will be in two parts. First will be the lecture covering Magic Theory, Practicality, and Safety, which will go until lunch time where we will have a break, and then after that will be practice. Does anyone have any questions?”

I put my hand to my forehead to prop myself up wondering if anyone actually did have a reasonable question. A little white hoof shot into the air.

“Finally a proper question. Yes Sweetie Belle?” Twilight smiled at the little innocent filly.

“Um yeah; since you and Dan are in love and together now shouldn’t it be Mrs. Twilight instead of Miss?” Sweetie Belle asked in a happy innocent tone.

In the span of a few seconds after Sweetie Belle asked her question a couple of things happened. First was that the chalk in Twilight flew upwards across the chalkboard and flew somewhere. I couldn’t see where because the second thing that happened is that I was so shocked by the question my body locked up causing my hand to slip from my forehead and my head came crashing down onto my little desk and then because of that I fell backwards off my stool. The last thing to happen after that was everyone else in the room burst into laughter. After lying on the floor for a couple of seconds I propped myself up and looked around. Twilight was still frozen in shock, everyone else was laughing, and Sweetie Belle had a surprised look on her face.

“Did I say something wrong?” she asked looking back and forth between Twilight and I. And before either of us could open our mouths Dinky spoke up.

“Actually Sweetie Belle. I think that she would take Dan’s last name and be called Mrs. Allen instead.” She said with a confident nod.

At her words my body stopped working properly again and my hands slipped again causing me to hurt the back of my head this time. While lying on the ground with my eye shut in pain I could hear that everyone started laughing again.

“OK I think I’ll just let everyone call me Twilight. How does that sound?”

“That sounds like the best thing I’ve heard all day.” I say raising my hand in the air. “Oh and Twi? Please go ahead and schedule a doctor’s appointment for tomorrow so I can get myself checked for head injuries ok?” I said before letting my hand fall down. “Oh Jarvis?”

“Yes sir?” my clothing responded.

“Make sure you get all the notes please.”

“And would you like me to put them into in-armor graphics sir?”

“Yes, thank you Jarvis.”

“My pleasure sir.”

The next few hours went by exactly like I thought they would. Twilight poured out a lot of information and most of us tried to take it as best we could. I say most because whenever I looked to where Dinky and Sweetie Belle where, I could see that they were feverishly writing plenty of notes. After what seemed like hours it was time for our lunch break. Ponies broke off into groups and ate what they brought with them. Twilight made us a quick lunch and we sat together eating. While taking some time to look at everypony who was here I noticed that Flintlock was still at his desk.

“Hey Flintlock did you bring any food?” I asked from my seat.

“Well Dan it’s a long story but…” Flintlock started to explain but stopped when someone knocked on the door. “Oh that should be her!!!” he said jumping into the air and made for the door. As he threw the door open wide the sun spilled into the room. The light cast a shadow over the pony in the doorway for a moment as all our eyes adjusted.

“Flintlock!!!” A mare jumped up and gave Flintlock a hug. She was an earth pony with a green mane and red fur and her Cutie Mark was a Gear with a lightning bolt going through the hole in the center.

“Flint!!!” Flintlock returned the hug to the mare as the rest of us stared at them.

“Uh Flintlock? I think you should introduce us to your friend here before we start taking bets on who she is.” I looked over to Swift Gale and Rainbow Dash who were both holding bits in their hooves. Both of them quickly put their money away and smiled sheepishly when everypony looked.

“Oh yeah. Everybody this is my cousin Flint Sparks. Flint this is everybody.” He said stepping out of the way so everyone could see her and vice versa.

“Oh so she’s your cousin…and she just happens to basically have the same name as you.” I couldn’t tell if my face showed I was happy or puzzled.

“Yup.” Flintlock said quickly.

“So I’m guessing that both of you must have been born pretty close together huh? Like on the same day?” I said smiling as best I could.

“Nope.” my smile dropped immediately.

“Same week?” I pressed on.

“Nope.” Flintlock smiled obliviously.

“Same month?”


“Same Year?” I was getting a bit desperate.

“Nnnope.” Flintlock drew out his response.

“Same town?” I asked once more hoping that I could get something right.

Flintlock paused for a moment and thought for a moment before his mouth opened again. “Nope!” he kept his cheery smile on as I dropped my head in shame.

“So you’re saying that your names being really similar is…”

“Completely coincidental yes!” Flint answered this time, she was smiling just like Flintlock was. I stared at them for what seemed like forever until my mind rebooted.

“I’ll be right back in a minute.” I said and quickly turned around and started walking for the stairs.

“Dan where are you…” Twilight started to ask me.

“Just one minute, I’ll be right back.” I said in the most patient and calm tone. Walking up stairs in the bedroom I just stared at the door after I closed it for a second. Barely noticing that my gauntlets were on I threw four quick punches at the door and screamed out all my frustration. After that I took a couple deep breaths to steady myself before I opened the door and walked back downstairs.

“Everything alright there sugarcube?” Applejack looked at me with an eyebrow raised as I came back into the room.

“Oh yeah much better now.” I said in a long exhale before turning my attention back to Flint Sparks. “So Flint what brings you to Ponyville?”

“Oh well I was in Manehattan and I got called to Canterlot for a job a couple of days ago, and I remembered that Flintlock was here in Ponyville so I sent him a letter telling him that I was coming his way and asked if he wanted me to bring him anything. And he replied with a letter saying lunch.”

“I’m going to guess it was just the word “lunch” right?” Pinkie Pie spoke up for the first time in a while.

“Yeah, how did you know?” Flint didn’t seem to bat an eye at Pinkie’s answer.

“Just a hunch.” Pinkie responded.

Before Flint could follow up I interrupted her. “So Flint, I think that most of us know what Flintlock’s talent is…so what is yours exactly?”

“Oh well I’m good with engineering stuff…and because of some childhood thing I’m…good with fire.”

“Ok I gotta ask you to elaborate on that.” She piqued my curiosity.

“Well one day I…AH…AH…” it seemed like she was going to sneeze.

“OH NO OH NO!!!” Flintlock panicked and reached at his cousin. Grabbing her around the middle and turning her around so that she faced out the door.

“CHOO!!!” she sneezed loudly and at the same time a huge gout of flame came out of her mouth. I quickly looked around the room and sure enough everyone was staring at the same thing I had just witnessed.

“Ah so that’s what you meant.”

After that Flintlock introduced his cousin to everyone personally before she had to say goodbye and get to the train station, but not before giving Flintlock his long awaited lunch. After that we all finished our food and then moved outside for the practical portion of our magic lessons.

“Alright students it’s about time we practiced everything I have been teaching you so far. Everyone will be given an object to levitate. Each object will be representative of your magic power. But before we give you those you must first bring out your magic. You can use whatever kind of method you prefer. And…begin.”

I looked over to Sweetie Belle and Dinky who seemed to be trying to force it out. Twilight was near them giving them tips since they were the youngest of the group with the least experience. My squad mates were able to do it easily as they had years of practice. And then there was me, I stared at my gauntlets for a while thinking about what I was going to do. I didn’t really understand why I had magic and how I could conjure it up.

I thought back to the fight where I first really noticed it. About how I was stuck in a wall watching bleary eyed as Twilight was about to be attacked. About how my mind raced and came to one conclusion that I had to protect her and forced itself to react.

“Maybe it’s…willpower?” I mumbled to myself as my gaze was still fixed on my hands. Closing my eye I thought to myself. Ok magic I know you’re there. I don’t know exactly how I got you but I think that it’s going to be a fun ride. I guess that you respond to my willpower so here goes nothing. Now…BURN!

I felt a tingle move throughout my body and when I opened my eyes I could see my hand covered in the flames that were my magic.

“Dan I proud that you got it so fast!” my eyes moved from my hands to Twilight who had moved to right beside me.

“Well it took me a minute but I had some good teaching, and now I think I have it under control. Well I think it’s time to try it out.” I said smiling at her which brought a blush to her face.

“Oh well yeah, um… Pinkie the objects please.”

“Okie Dokey Lokie they are over here on the table.” All of us looked to the table that Pinkie Pie had pulled out from who knows where. On one end were some simple rubber balls which had a sign for Sweetie Belle and Dinky in front of them. Next to those were some bowling balls meant For Flintlock, Scribble, and Flash. And the last thing on the table behind a little sign with my name on it was…

“Uh Twilight…and or Rarity is that TMMPH...” I couldn’t speak as something covered my mouth.

“Dan listen to me for second darling.” Rarity said appearing from behind me. “Yes that is what you think it is on the table, and yes I do know that you weren’t present when I said that it was something that we should never speak of…again. But I’m going to give you one warning. Make any jokes and you will end up waking up in the middle of the Everfree forest naked and no way of knowing which way to go. Do I make myself clear?”

“Knowing she wouldn’t get my hand gestures I opted for a simple nod. As I did she looked past me to my squad mates. “And do you gentlestallions have anything to say as well?” her eyes narrowing at them.

Flintlock and Scribble quickly nodded while Flash opened his mouth to speak. “Do you have any dinner plans later?” he said nervously.

Rarity’s expression changed as her frown changed into a coy smile. “I’ll think about it darling. Now carry on then.” She said as she released the magic from my mouth.

“I rubbed around my mouth to get some feeling back before I stared at the boulder in front of me. Of course I got a boulder, my marefriend has high expectations for me. Slowly I lifted my left hand.

“Ok how did this go again? Concentrate on your target. Think about what you want to do to it in steps. Step one; enclose the target in your magic.” I felt energy move from my body towards the boulder, it took a little bit of time but I grasped all of it with my magic. “Ok step one done. Step two; think about what you are going to do in parts. Ok easy one there, lift a damn rock.” I fed the thought through my magic for it to move upward. It started easy but then I felt the weight of the rock. Knowing that my magic was based on my willpower; I did the same thing as the little engine that could, I kept repeating the line “I know I can” in my head.

After a couple of seconds I felt the weight lessen and the rock moved upwards. After raising it about ten feet off the ground I stopped it and held it there. Looking around I saw everypony else doing about the same. Sweetie Belle and Dinky were getting praises for the control they had over the balls while Flash, Scribble, and Flintlock were taking some time to do some maneuvers with their bowling balls.

“It seems like you’ve got a good hold on it Dan.” Twilight said from my side again. “I was wondering how your magic works, from the looks of it, it seems like the more you want to do something the more your magic responds, not just in ability but in power as well.”

“Well I think we are both in agreement there. I guess that explains everything in the fight. But I think to be conclusive I should test it out.”

“Uh how do you propose you do that?”

“Well I have a boulder and one free hand don’t I?” I said balling up my fist. I slowly started walking towards the floating boulder letting it float just a bit higher. When I was a couple feet away I let go of it and broke into a small run. As it came close I jumped into the air firing my magic from my hands boosting myself into the air before I brought back one fist, channeled some magic into it, and brought it flush with the boulders surface. I felt the magic flow out of my fist and blast into the boulder with force. Finishing the punch the boulder flew out into the air and was soon a little speck on the horizon.

Landing on my feet I turned around to see a couple of the ponies in the group with their mouths hanging open. “So what’s the score from the judges?” I asked hoping one or more of them would get it.

Pinkie brought a scorecard and raised a ten in my direction.

“Eh it was kinda cool big guy but I think you could have done better.” Rainbow was the next to speak up. “But I’m going to have to deduct point for your little float-y bit, your control was really bad.”

“True, but I really haven’t practiced that yet.” I answered her.

“Well what do you think we are doing tomorrow? You may have thought that this Magic Kindergarten was hard but just wait until you get done with my patented “Rainbow Dash Flying Lessons”.” She said flying over and nudging me in the ribs.

“Well if Twilight’s magic lessons went over this well. I can’t wait to see how tomorrow will go…although I expect it may be slightly more painful. But in any case, bring it on Rainbow.” I said holding out my fist which she bumped with her hoof. Afterwards she flew back to the group and Twilight came over, I sat down next to where she stopped and looked around at everyone.

“Well I guess that today’s lessons were a success Twilight.”

“Yeah I think so to. Sweetie Belle, Dinky, and you now have a good grasp on magic that will get better with practice.” She stared at the ground while responding.

“Well we had a great teacher.” I said as I took the opportunity to ruffle her mane.

She giggled for a moment while swatting my hand away, after fixing her mane she looked at me and asked, “Do you really mean it?” her face was the definition of adorable.

“You’re better than Celestia.” I said putting my arm over her withers and pulling her in. We stayed like that for a couple of seconds before she spoke again.

“That was a nice punch. I didn’t know you could calculate where the boulder would land that fast, you made sure it would go somewhere that wouldn’t hurt anypony right?”

My body tensed up at her question and my eyes widened in shock.

“Dan?” I looked down to her to see her looking up at me.

“You know maybe we should go check…it might help me sleep better tonight…so I don’t have a problem tomorrow…not that I’m worried or anything.” I hope my tone didn’t give me away.

After pausing for a second or two Twilight got up and turned around to the group. “Alright everypony we have one more thing to do today. Let’s go make sure that Dan didn’t hurt anypony with that Boulder.” To which the crowd responded by breaking out into laughter for the third time today.

Chapter 31: something something DANGERZONE!!!!

View Online

Chapter 31: Something something DANGERZONE!!!

“Dan it’s almost time for bed are you done with whatever you were doing?” Twilight’s call from upstairs broke me out of my stupor; which I had apparently been in for a while. I was either thinking really hard or my constant head trauma was causing some kind of problem, because I looked at the clock and the time had changed considerably from when I started on my task.

“Oh and lets changes the bandages on your head before bed. I know there wasn’t much blood but I don’t take chances. Laundry isn’t on the schedule for another three days.” she said hiding the fact that she was a bit worried, but after hitting my head so many times I think it became the norm for her.

I ran my hand across my forehead, feeling the bandages. Looking down at the table I was sitting at, I looked at the things I was using. I had a book of spells open, I thought I should expand my magic more and Twilight was eager to hoof over a copy of Magic for Dummies, laughing the whole time after I looked at the title. The next thing was a letter to Celestia, telling her about getting my magic under control, and the last thing was a checklist. It wasn’t as detailed as Twilight’s checklists and she had been pretty vocal about it but I did it my way regardless. I had only managed to check one thing off on it, test flight capabilities.

Rainbow Dash’s flying lessons were in the morning and I thought it would have been good to try it out. The things I didn’t take into consideration was how much power to use and the fact that I was indoors in a building made for beings about one half my size. After I hit the ceiling, the lintel of the doorway separating the library and the kitchen, and at least two bookshelves, I crashed to the floor.

Twilight bandaged me up and then forbade me from propelling myself around the house until I got it under control. I spent the rest of the night learning about magic until Twilight called me. I looked down at the last page. I had been reading about teleportation and thought that maybe I could try it out. Twilight didn’t want me flying and moving hurt a bit from the crashes so I decided to see if I could take a short cut.

“Hey Twilight, you’re in the bedroom right?” I called up the stairs.

“Yes… Why?” was the reply I got.

“I’m gonna try some magic so stay there.” I said as my flames flickered. The book had given the scientific application and then gave theory and practice tips about how to perform a teleportation spell. You had to visualize where you were going to be and exactly where you want your body placed. You sent out a bit of magic and then used the whole of your magic to not pull it back but to pull you to it.

I breathed in and did exactly as the instructions said. I pushed just a small bit of my magic into the bedroom, exactly where I wanted to end up. As my magic made its way towards it I glanced down at the book and my eyes caught the last line, “make sure eyes are closed during transition.” I felt my magic make contact and started pulling me and I didn’t have time to close my eyes.

It was like traveling through a Stargate. Colors flying everywhere and completely assaulting your senses. Thank goodness I wasn’t traveling that far because the next thing I knew I was standing in the bedroom next to the dresser where my clothes were. I could feel my body sway in dizziness and my vision was filled with spots. I blinked rapidly trying to get them to go away.

“Didn’t close your eye before teleporting?” I could hear Twilight say.


“Well other than that I say it was a good first teleport. Now hurry and get changed for bed I’m going to set the alarm clocks” Twilight said. Her body clock was really fined tuned so she didn’t need one but she got two for me because I tend not want to wake up.

“Alright.” I said getting changed. “Knowing Rainbow this will probably be the earliest she has gotten up in a while.”

“Well she did seem really excited to teach flying to someone who has never had the ability to fly before.” Twilight said as we got into bed.

“I’m just glad that you ponies don’t have any way of recording things on videos yet otherwise I wonder how many ponies would show up just to watch me crash and burn.” I said while staring up at the ceiling.

“But I thought your flames couldn’t-“

“It’s just an expression Twi.”

“Oh…Well what about Jarvis, can’t he record?” she asked coming back the topic.

“He probably could from my helmet but that’s going to be getting a lot of use protecting all this.” I gestured to my face. “You wouldn’t want to have an ugly boyfriend right?” I asked trying to get her to laugh.

“I don’t know, if you get hurt badly enough maybe we could get a good doctor to so some plastic surgery. Maybe turn that small nose of yours into a proper muzzle.” She smiled devilishly before nuzzling my cheek.

“Oh har har.” I faked being poset for a second before smiling again. “You’re getting much better, I think Rarity might have a challenger soon.”

“Oh really?” she asked.

“Yeah in a couple of years. Now let’s get some shut eye, I’m gonna need a lot of energy for tomorrow.” I said ruffling her hair a bit before grabbing her and hugging her like a teddy bear once again and shutting my eyes.

“Do we always have to fall asleep like this? Not that I really mind.” I could hear her voice waiver slightly during the second sentence.

“Well one day maybe you’ll be my size and I will be your size, then you can cuddle me all you want. But for now you’re mine.” Was the last thing I said before we both fell asleep.

Morning had never been good for me in Equestria. Twilight waking me up was usually the worst because she sometimes had to do it forcefully. When I was at the barracks I woke up to Reveille, but it wasn’t as bad considering it wasn’t directly in my face. This morning however that is exactly what happened.

The music went off suddenly and loudly, causing my eyes to snap open and see the bright blue Equestrian sky. Immediately I tried to cover my eyes but found that whatever I was laying on didn’t exactly give me good balance, and the next thing I knew I was falling.

The ground wasn’t to close so I had enough time to think. I ignited my magic and tried what I had done the night before. My flames shot out with enough velocity to stop me and then some flipping me over once before I landed butt first on the ground. I winced slightly as I felt the pain only to hear laughter. Looking back up to where I believe I fell from where Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Spitfire, Scootaloo, and some other pegasi.

“Oh yeah let a guy fall in a way that could hurt him, so funny.” I called up to them. As they stopped laughing all of them glided down, except for Twilight who teleported down.

“Well we needed some way to get you up quickly. And as it turns out the danger of you getting hurt is exactly what wakes you up.” Rainbow Dash said smugly.

“And what about if I hadn’t figured out how to kinda fly and smacked face first into the ground? Wouldn’t that put everything off schedule?” I asked.

“Nope we planned for that too.” Spitfire answered this time. “bad crashes happen all the time in Wonderbolts practices, so we keep a storm cloud around so we can shock them back to life if need be.” She put on a smile and pointed to a small dark cloud floating gently nearby.

“Oh I see…” I could feel one of my eyes twitching slightly. I shook my head to clear my thoughts before I spoke again. “So why do we have so many ponies today? Another crowd to watch my learning antics?”

“Actually no, they're also here to train. But let me introduce the ones you haven’t met yet. You’ve already met Thunderlane and Snowflake. But we also have Flitter, Cloudchaser, Blossom.” Dash said pointing to the mares who waved. “And last but not least-“ Dash started but stopped when a blue blur moved past her and stopped in front of me. It took me a second for my vision to focus on the pony who rushed up to me and now held my hand with both front hooves and was gingerly shaking it.

“The name is Cloud Kicker.” The mare said trying to be as charming as she could. Looking down I not only noticed that she seemed really too friendly but I could also feel it. I couldn’t tell whether it was my magic sensing it or something a bit more primal. I think I decided it was more primal when I could literally feel Twilight staring at me and Cloud Kicker.

I quickly returned the gesture, removed my hand from her grip and moved back a step giving Twilight a sheepish smile.

“Watch it Cloud Kicker, the big guy is already spoken for. If you keep pushing you might end up butting heads with Twilight, and she’s got a horn.” Rainbow Dash snickered as Cloud Kicker and Twilight looked at each other. Twilight looked angry but Cloud Kicker kept her smile on.

“Oh don’t worry boss, sometimes things get rough, and who knows maybe she’s the kind of mare who likes to share.” Her smile got bigger and in this game of mare on mare chicken Twilight backed down first, her scowl turning to a look of surprise and she started blushing.

Before Cloud Kicker could keep going though Rainbow Dash cuffed her over the back of her head and pushed her back into the line. “Well now that introductions are out of the way I can finally explain what’s going on today. Dan you and Scootaloo are going to be training with me, while Spitfire will be doing some more intensive drills with the rest of you. I trust you’ll show her how good the Pegasi of Ponyville are when it comes to flying?” with a quick glare everypony she marched in front of while speaking snapped to attention.

“Alright Spitfire they are all yours. Just don’t break any of the too badly, they got work tomorrow. Scoots, Dan follow me over here, we are gonna start with the basics.” I followed her as I watch Spitfire give some words to the other ponies and then take oof with all of them following her. Twilight followed behind me.

We walked a bit to where there were some clouds set up at different heights. While I stared at it Rainbow began speaking again. “Alright Dan, Scootaloo already knows the basics of what’s going to happen cause we have done a bit of this but I will walk you through most of it. The first thing you two are going to do is called hop floating.”

She walked closer to where the lowest hanbgin cloud was and jumped while flapping her wings slightly, propelling her up to the cloud. She landed softly and said “It’s a simple exercise gaze to the small Pegasus beside me.

Looking down I saw Scootaloo do some quick stretches before she beganj flapping her wing s to what extent she could. In small quick motions she hopped slightly before she took a bigger jump and floated up onto the clouds surface.”

“See Dan, if the little squirt can do it then you should be able too. Now light up and get you flank up here!” she said like a drill sergeant would.

Last night on of the things I had managed to do was figure out how to trigger my magic with a snap of my fingers. It was quick, easy, and not very showy. Stretching my legs I tried the same thing as Scootaloo. I gave my self a slight boost after my third hop and propelled myself up as I moved my foot to land of the cloud, Rainbow spoke and broke my concentration.

“Oh and just to tell you they don’t exactly look it but clouds can be kinda slippery!” she said as my foot had barely touched the rim of the cluod and then by some stroke of coincidence slipped leaving me to flip in the air and fall. I would have landed on my face if not for the fact that I found some way to keep myself afloat. Touching back down to the ground I looked up at Rainbow in annoyance.

“Just couldn’t wait till I was on the cloud could ya?” Rainbow only responded with a sheepish grin before I tried again. I didn’t question the fact that I could stand on a cloud. Since I woke up on one I guess that Twilight had used the cloud walking spell on me in my sleep. Finding it just as simple as the first time I made it up to the first cloud from there me and scoots repeated the exercise several times till we were on the second to last cloud. I had noticed that the gaps between the clouds had goteen bigger and bigger the higer we went up, I guess it was Rainbow’s way of pushing us.

With a bit of struggling, Scootaloo and I made it up to the last cloud. We both exchanged smile while we took deep breaths, the exercise wearing us out more than we had thought.

“Congrats you two you did that in a pretty good time.Now catch your breath and get ready of the next part of your totally awesome radical training!” Rainbow said gently flapping her wings beside us. From down below I could hear Twilight shouting.


“I don’t think she really cares at this point Twi!” I yelled back down seeing as how Rainbow was talking to Scootaloo. I could see Twilight making some kind of face and knew that she would say something when we came down.

“Alright you two I hope you caugfht your breath because here comes the next part. So far you’ve gone up and that’s pretty much the easy part, but now you got to go down.”

“OK sounds simple but what’s the catch, Colors?: I asked while simultaneously trying out a new nickname.

She raised any eyebrow before figuring it out and answered. “Oh yeah you can’t land on clouds too hard or they will break so you got to watch your speed while desending. So go ahead but be careful.” She said before resuming her hovering near us, watching Scoots and I.

Scootaloo took the first leap, she maintained a good wing beat the whole way down to the closest cloud. I noticed that looked difficult to keep that much concentration into going that far so I thought that maybe I could try to slow myseklf down before I impacted instead of all the way down.

Insteap of jumping off I simply walked off and waited a few seconds before I hit the cloud and fired off a burst of flame. I managed to slow myself down and gingerly land on the cloud. Scootaloo had been watching me and whenh I landed slowly nodded to herself in thought.

As she took her next leap she did the same thing I did andit served her well, it was good to know that we could learn from each other on this, as one being that naturally had the ability to fly and another being that had a tendency to get hurt when trying something new.

Rainbow stopped us when we landed on the lowest cloud, she looked slightly upset, my guess was that Twilight had been talking about her title and how it had to be more grammitaclly correct.

“Ok everypony that was good, you’ve gotten through part two of Rainbow Dash’s Awesome Training without many injuries.” She shot me a sheepish smile which I returned with a smile, I couldn’t really keep any grudges with most ponies, curse pony cuteness. “And yes I changed the name of the training because someone read somewhere the grammatical whatever-ness will lower morale or something.” I saw her and Twilight exchange a glare.

“Now you’ve learned to go up and down, but now comes learing to move on a… What was it you called it Twiligh?”

“A horizontal X Axis.”

“Yeah what she said. You got to learn how to move forward, backward, and side to side.” Rainbow crushed her record for turning scientific jargon from Twilight into simple words. Both of you are going to have to sustain your flight and move in those directions. And land only after I have said so.” She gave us a determined a l as she got ready to get rid of the cloud underneath us. “Ready and…Go!” she said as she gave the cloud of buck.

Scootaloo and I dropped an inch or two as we got situated. I knew that my magic was more of an energy source but I guess that in time it took a bit of a strain on my muscles. I noticed as while floating I could feel a bit of tension in my arms, I guess that Scootaloo was feeling the same thing considering we were doing this side by side. I didn’t have much time to think about how to move so decided to wing it and hope for the best.

I flicked my left wrist slightly and I felt myself move to my left, and after moving about a foot I I did the same thing with my other worst this time making me go left. While I was just listing lazily to the left I looked over to Scootaloo who was being watched by Rainbow Dash intently even though the mare still had a smile on her face.

It didn’t take long to move forward and backward and while I waited for Rainbow to approve of me I just kept moving in circles suspended a few feet of the air.

“Alright you two you’ve done really well you two can land now.” Rainbow said with a flourish as she landed near Twilight. Scootaloo landed in a huff and pumped her hooves in the air while she laid on her stomach.

As I landed I felt my legs shake and my knees buckled, I fell on my behind and couldn’t help but smile even though I felt slightly exhausted. Twilight came up and hugged me from behind, showing how proud she was. We all took a break and Twilight brought out a picnic basket from somewhere and brought out some lunch that she made, to which I raised an eyebrow.

“When did you learn to cook?” I asked biting into a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

“Well since Spike and you can cook pretty decently I figured that I had to step up my game. So I’ve been practicing in my lab in the basement.

“So wait.” I said with a mouthful before swallowing. “So every time you said you were doing “sciency things”.” I used the air quotes gesture regardless if they got it or not. “You’ve been toiling away trying to cook? …That’s so cute!” I said grabbing her around her barrel in for a hug.

“ACk Dan what are y-!” she treid to say as I pulled her into a full bear hug not caring about the two Pegasus onlookers.

“Heh see squirts told you they would get all mushy.” I heard Rainbow say.

I looked over to Scootaloo who wasn’t looking at our public display of affection with disgust but more out of confusion and curiosity. “Is this that thing Ms. Cheerilee was talking about, like when a stallion and a mare love each other, and the birds and the bees?’

Scootaloo’s words had a different effect on each of us. Rainbow’s jaw dropped first and then her body did so as when her jaw hit the floor her mouth closed. Twilight began to blush so hard that I think her flanks were turning red.

Meanwhile my mouth was open but in the biggest smile I could have. I was on the verge of laughing and crying because of how funny the situation was but my body wouldn’t respond with anything.

Everything was quiet for a minute before Scootaloo asked “So was I right?”

“Well that’s not a question for me to answer squirt.” Rainbow said first.

“oh no it wasn’t-“ Twilight started before I spoke at the same time.

“Maybe.”” Was the only word I said before I got looks from all three of them. Rainbow and Scootaloo both looked puzzled whiel Twilight’s face was a mixture of embarrassed, confused, and angry.

“What are you doing? Don’t gp putting ideas in a foals head you you...” Twilight broke out of my embrace. It only got worse form there as that was when I started laughing. Twilight looked at me before she took on a more angry look and her horn lit up.

I stopped laughing when the first shot buzzed by my head. Looking AT Twilight I saw a slight grin of satisfaction. “Laughing at my expense? I’ll fix that.” My blood ran cold for a moment and I audibly gulped.

I managed to dodge the second magic blast by getting into the air. Having plenty fo room to dodge I tried my best but she picked up her firing rate and while I was turning I took a hit…to my butt.

“AUUGH!! I shouted my hands clasping my behind as I fell a few feet before realizing I was mid flight. “Alright Twilight you got me, I’m sorry I went a bit too far that time. Can we stop now?” I aksed floating in midair.

“Oh I don’t think so Dan, I think this is quite a bit of fun. I think we could make an exercise for us out of this. It will help you with your flying and me with my…accuracy. I’ll even be a good sport I’ll give you two minutes to get your armor ready and everything.” She magicked up a clock out of thin air and it was then I knew she was serious.

I chuckled weakly as I felt my armor activate. “Jarvis?”

“I took the liberty of helping you sir incase you seemed a bit scared. Would you also like some accompanying music to take some of the stress away?”

“Yes please Jarvis.” I said in a defeated tone.

“Am I correct in assuming that for this situation that Kenny Loggins would be the correct music sir?”

“Correct again Jarvis…oh and I did make plans for tomorrow right?”

“Yes you did sir.”

“Ok good thanks Jarvis. That’ll be all for now.” I said as Twilight’s magic clock went off. As it poofed away she looked up at me. Her dangerous smile still looked adorable to me and didn’t change any feelings I had about her. Right before she began I sighed to myself and muttered “Dange Zone.” To myself in my helmet.

The next thing I can consciously remember was that I was lying face up on a cloud with Twilight standing over me. Craning my neck back I could see Rainbow and Spitfire trying to suppress laughter as they pushed us to what I could assume was the middle of town. Ponyville had seen some crazy things, several of them involving me, so this sight was probably not weird for anyone that saw.

“Hey.” I reached up and poke Twilight in her stomach, earning a giggle from her as she looked down on me. “Wide blast are cheating you know.” I said as I sit up and she tooka seat in my lap.

“Well from now on it will, but you didn’t stipulate any rules this time so no use complaining about it.” She responded, that know-it-all smile never leaving her face.

“Hey you two, if you start getting all lovey dovey and making out we aren’t going to push this cloud anymore.” Rainbow says adamantly.

“Well what if we just make out are you gonna go grab the camera again?” I aksed earning a jab from Twilight causing Rainbow to laugh and Spitfire to give me a confused look. I rechae dinto my pocket and pulled out my wallet. Opening it up I pulled out a small picture and showed it to Spitfire. Her emotions went from awing at it then laughing hysterically. It was the picture Rainbow Dash and Rarity took of when I was cuddling Twilight like a Teddy Bear after my first night here in Equestria.

Spitfire laughed all the way back to the library much to Twilight’s chagrin. When we got there there was something though standing outside that we weren’t expecting. Outside the library was a chariot with two Pegasus guards.

The cloud came to a stop and Twilight got off. “Is there something I can help you two gentlecolts with?” The two guards l;ooked at her and then saluted quickly before responding.

“We have come to find Sergeant Major Allen, Ms. Sparkle.”

Hearing my name I walked over to the guard yawning slightly. The guard saluted me and I returned the salute, one of the reached into the saddle bags on his side and drew out a scroll. “Princess Celestia sent us here and said to give you this, she said you would know.”

I opened the scroll to find a short message from Celestia plus a piece of paper I had seen before. “What does it say Dan?” Twilight asked.

“You said any day; any time…It looks like Princess Celestia is cashing in on her Hearthswarming present. I said giving her the scroll, she looked at it before she smiled a bit. “I guess that means that I’m going to Canterlot for the rest of the day.”

“But Dan what about tomorrow?” Twilight said a bit distraughtly.

“Don’t worry I already made plans for us. But instead of starting them in Ponyville, instead you can meet me in Canterlot and we’ll start there, we can even say high to your folks as well. OK?”

She mulled it over for a while before she smiled and gave me a quick peck on the cheek. “Ok then I’ll see you tomorrow.” She said before she turned around and left with Spitfire and Rainbow Dash.

I looked at the guards whoi werew smiling at me. “Stow those smiles stallions, that was the beginning of a test, one that I hope to pass. Now let’s head off, I don’t want to keep wither mare waiting at any time.”

The ride was short, I still found myself a bit nervous on the chariots, even though I could fly meself. Upon reaching the palace I thanked the two pegasi that had brought me and headed for the throne room.

I reached the doors and greeted the two guard who were standing outside. “Are the princesses still holding court?” The guards nodded but looked a little uneasy for some reason. I could hear multiple voices coming from the other side of the doors, some souded calm and others sounded the opposite. “What are they talking about?” Both guard looked at each other with worried glances before one of them; a unicorn mare; spoke up.

“Um well they are speaking about…you, sir.” The mare looked at me and then at the ground.

“Me?” I hadn’t really made any enemies that I knew of beside Douchebag and Blueblood. Then again I hadn’t met most of the nobles and I’m not sure exactly what kind of impression I left on them. Maybe Celestia was protecting me form the ones that were “ooposed” to me. “Wow and they didn’t invite me either, how rude. Well I guess then I should see what all the fuss about me is about.” I said walking up to the doors and slowly opening one of them.

“Princess Celestia, we ask that you reconsider you position on this matter.” Was the first thing I heard as I slipped into the room. I could see the throne and the only pony sitting up near it was Cadence sitting to the right of it. Celestia was standing with her sister at her side and discussing something with a group of ponies; and she didn’t look happy. Cadence noticed me as I came in and I raised a finger to my lips, she nodded to confirm that she knew what I want. Slowly I made my way towards the front and the volume of the conversation got louder.

“Your highnesses why can’t you see that it is a present Danger to all of Equestrian society?” And unknown voice said.

“Besides the lack of proof, I wonder.” Celestia’s voice said. “And do not call him and “it” he has a name and we know what he is.”

“This human and his actions are simply inexcusable and intolerable by anypony.”

“Do you mean by anypony in general or anypony like you, he has helped the common pony and has gained favor with them, is that what is bothering you” Luna responded this time.

“No, our problem lies in the fact that he seems to be able to do anything he want regardless of the law and his powers are growing unchecked and no pony seems to care and it is a slap in the face of the nobility.” I got close enough to see an older unicorn who was leading the group.

“I’m sure you have some examples right?” I heard Celestia sigh slightly as she listened on.

“Of course your majesty, first off there were the times during the Gala and during Hearthswarming where he interrupted everything with his outlandish music.”

“Which also uplifted the spirit of the ponies around to hear. Not to mention free of charge” Celestia retorted.

“He not only insulted a prince but physically hurt him.” Another pony brought up.

“Yes strewth, but twas only after Prince Blueblood had offended not only Dan but one of the Elements of Harmony and Dan challeneged Blueblood out of honor. And might we add the second incident was after The Prince had drunken himself into a stupor and was embarrassing himself, twas most funny.” Luna answered next.

“What about the fact that he has made headlines for being in a relationship with your student, Twilight Sparkle?” A mare asked form a crowd.

“Whatever happens between Her and Dan are their actions and theirs alone.” Celestia sadi showing just a hint of anger at the topic.

“What about now that this thing has magic and a ways of making himself fly? What if his new powers grow?”

“Well first let me say that Dan’s magic is certainly not new, it has not been seen in a long time but we have encountered it before. And as for his strength, as he is now he has just discovered his power and would have the amount of magic capability of a foal entering magic kindergarten, and even though he may seem powerful to you my sister beat him easily. If he was to try anything I’m sure even Twilight Sparkle would be able to win in a fight against him.” Luina responded.

“You give us all these “if scenarios” princess and they don’t make us feel any better. We want to set up a task force so we can monitor the human, know what he is up to and make sure his intentions are for the betterment of Equestria. How else are we suppoused to know?” A stallion said form the group and I felt that now was a good time to reveal myself.

“Oh I don’t know you could just ask him?” I said aloud catching everypony’s attention.

“Oh Dan you’re here already?” Celestia seemed surprised that I had already made it to Canterlot.

“And what exactly are you doing here!?!? Guards seize the human for entering the throne room unannounced.” The noble leading the group that was talking against me was afraid and angry at the same time.

I looked at him bemusedly for a second before I turned to several guard who looked puzzled at what to do. “Belay that order, remain at your posts until addressed by me, the captain, or the princesses.” I said calmly. The guards saluted quickly before they returned to their stone like positions.

“What is the meaning of this, I said to seize him, this thing holds now power here now do your jobs or I will see you court marshalled!” the noble was huffing and puffing. He was becoming a bit belligerent and didn’t notice that the smiles on the princesses’ faces were slowly changing into frowns.

“First of all please don’t call me thing, I have a name it’s Dan. Oh and also the title to go along with it is Sergeant Major, so my words do hold some weight. And as for what I’m doing here, well Princess Celestia has requested my presences, so I came. Do you have any other questions?” I said looking down on the unicorn stallion, while also glancing up at Celestia inquisitively.

“Why yes I believe I do? What arte your intentions for your stay here?” Thew stallion said trying to be vague as possible.

“Well for one I’m trying to go at least one day without getting hurt, I’m pretty sure I’ve got a doctors appointment in a couple days to make sure that I haven’t sustained any kind of problems with all the head trauma I’ve had. Now can we stop beating around the bush here, I know you have some kind of problem with me I heard everything you said to the princesses. SO what exactly is your problem with me.” I decided to be direct.

“We are just trying to decide to figure out if your are safe enough to trust being around the ponies of Equestria.” The stallion answered. I looked at him trying not to show any emotion before a thought popped into my head.

I moved past him and over to Princess Celestia. “Princess do you trust me?” I asked her. She barely paused to think before she smiled and answered “Yes Dan, I do trust you.” Hearing her words I walked over to one of the guards.

“Soldier do you trust me?”

“I would follow you into battle at anytime, sir!” the mare saluted.

Following that I walked back over to the noble stallion. “Well Princess Celestia trusts me, the guard trust me, and I know for a fact that thorugh my actions and the general way I treat ponies better than you do that the common pony trusts me.” I snuck in a condescending remark for fun. “So the only group that I guess doesn’t trust me would be the nobles…” I paused for a bit in mock thought. “Well I guess three out of four isn’t bad I can live with that.” I said smiling.

“Now if you are done asking condescending and stupid questions about your allies and friends would you please leave the Princesses have other matters to attend to.” I said giving a signal for the guard to open the doors.

The stallion looked at me in disbelief. “Now see here you..” he started to say but dropped off as his anger slowly subsided into a bit of fear. I could feel Celestia’s presence over my shoulder and knew she must having been giving him a look.

Slowly the stallion and the group left the room, still giving me looks of discontent, hatred, and disgust, but I waved it off seeing as how I didn’t care about their approval. I turned around to face the Princesses who were grinning. Chuckling to myself I pulled out the piece of paper and showed it to Celestia.

“Looking to do some talking?”

Minutes later we were walking down a hallway towards Celestia’s chambers, Luna intended to join us but she had some of her own matters to do.

“You know your actions today won’t make them go away. The nobles will only come back and keep bothering you. Celestia said referring to earlier

“Well that means that you’ll let me have to take care of it one day, I’ve survived worse things than politicians, you’r eone of them remember?” I said thinking back about when she buried me in the arena.

Celestia blushed before responding. “Well I guess you are technically correct. Tell you what, one day in the future if certain plans of mine are met you’ll probably get your wish granted.” She played vague about whatever was going to happen in the future.

“Any chance on telling me what these plans are?” I asked.

“No you may not, you have other matters to attend to.” She said as we came to a stop standing outside the doors to her chambers. “Oh and just so you knowi haven’t had time to fully clean my room so it may be a bit… messy.” She said as she began to open the doors with her magic.

“Oh Celestia I’m not going to judge your cleanliness habits I’m not that type of… Oh mercy this room is kicking.” She had been right when she said she hadn’t fully cleaned. There were some small pile of clothes thrown about, pillows scattered randomly, and I believe some empty takeout boxes filled up a small trash bin and more laid around it.

“You get take out?” was the only thing I could say, it was just the strangest thing my mind could cough up.

“Oh yes every once and awhile when I don’t want to bother the cooks, I found this great 24 hour Chineighese place, when I was out for a stroll one day…would you like to order some?” she asked as she trotted into the room and started to use her magic to tidy it up.

“Uh sure I’m up for some new cuisine.” I said getting a better look at the room. It wasn’t overly decorated, but just what the Princess wanted, I could see a nice sized bookshelf; I wondered how many of them Twilight had read.

“OK there all clean and the food ordered. Would you like to take a seat?” I focused back on Celestia, who was sitting on a pillow near a table filled with a various assortment of drinks.

“Sure.” I answered walking over and plopping down on a large fluffy pillow. I grabbed a drink and took a sip , it had orange in it and I think there might have been some kind of alchol in it. I looked over to Celestia who looked a bit embarrassed. “What’s wrong Celly.” I decided now was the perfect time to try out nicknames.

“Well even though I asked you ehre and all I’m afraid I’ve never really done this before. Talk to anypony like this besides Luna.” She blushed slightly.

“Well the first step...” I paused to finish my drink and grab another one. “Is grab one of these drinks cause DAM that good stuff! And secondly it’s your story start wherever you want to.”

“Ah ok then… I guess I’ll start… with Discord.” Celestia looked off in remembrance.

Over the next few minutes Celestia regaled me of her and Luna’s past. From when Discord started ruling, to her and her sister’s ascension into Alicorns, to using the elements of harmony for4 the first time. It turns out that Discord isn’t totally evil, he was just misunderstood. Poniesa back then where like the nobility now, very unaccepting of things that weren’t up to their imaginary standard.

“So he does his little jokes and reality warping, but no one sees it as fun…well except for Pinki Pie and the chocolate milk rain..” Celestia said.

“Personally I could live with that too. Did he ever have any friends? I’m guessing everything was just a way of getting attention but did it ever add up to anything?”

“Unfortunately no, most ponies were two afraid of what he was doing, it’s part of the reason he was sealed in stone, I kind of hoped that maybe on daythere would be ponies that could accept him and change his mind.” Celestia answered

“Another one of your plans?”

“Possibly. What do you want to hear about next?”

“how about after you started ruling on your own…oh and do you have an embarrassing stories about Twilight from her younger years?” I asked hoping to gain some joke material.

“Trying to gain the upper hand for tomorrow are you?” Celestia wasd a good joker like me so she knew what I wanted. “Well ok I have a couple stories I can tell you. But you’re going to do something for me.” She gestured with hoof to a spot next to her.

I got up and wobbled slightly; I had a good number of drinks and was kind of tipsy. I sat down quickly so I didn’t end up doing something stupid and then celestia laid her neck across my lap. Even a bit drunk I knew what she wanted, I slowly started petting her and scratching her like anyone would a dog or cat.

Slowly and with slight moaning she went over her favorite events that happened after Luna’s exile all the way into Twilight’s school years. We talked for hours and hours until atleast I passed out form a combination of exhaustion and drinking.

I awoke to hearing singing. Slowly I sat up and felt a blanket fall off me. Opening my eyes to the not quite as blinding sunlight my eyes focused quickly on something that could make me go blind.

Princess Celestia was currently dancing and dancing badly. I think I finally understood two things. One of them was where Twilight got her dance moves from, and the second one is why Princess Celestia choose to spend a good amount of time at the Grand Galloping Gala.

“Wow...” I said louder than I had intending to, surpriseing the Princess causing her to somersault forward and end up sitting on her haunches.

“Oh Dan you’re awake…you saw huh?” she looked embarrassed as she got back to her hooves.

“OH yeah…don’t worry about I’m not saying anything…go ahead and keep shaking your groove thang.” I put emphasis on the last word.

“Ok then, since that is settled you can use the bathroom to freshen up and shower if you want, but do not use the rainbow colored bottle…unless you want to meet Twilight looking like a human me.” She smirked. “I will meet you in the throne room when you are ready, and be quick Twilight is on her way. She said trotting out of the room.

I showered and really had to resist the shampoo she told me not to use. Stepping out I found new clothes for me, I guess she had a staff member do it. A niuce set of pants,a nice shirt which had a vest to complete the look. “Now all I need is a…” I walked out of the room to find a pony waiting for me with a box, opening it I finished the sentence, “fedora… She really thinks of pretty much everything doesn’t she?” I asked the maid who returned my question with a warm smile.

“Have a nice day.” I said to the maid as I put on the hat on an walked towards the throne room. Coming in from the side entrance I heard whistling. As it turned out Celestia, Luna, and Twilight were there but there was also a good number of the female portion of the staff. I tipped my hat slightly to them as I tried to get to Twilight through the slight crowd, which on let the whistling and shouting get louder.

“Alright that’s enough ladies, Dan is taken and you would have to fight my student if you wanted to chance… any taker?” she asked looking to Twilight who started doing magic exercises. Quickly enough the staff left levingthe princesses, Twilight and I. Walkiung up to the throne I knelt down and hug my mare friend.

“Happy Hearts and Hooves Day, Twilight.”

“I was wondering if you would remember, what with all the head trauma and drinking you did with the princess.

“How did you know?”

“Princess Celestia told me.”

“Ah ok, well at least I cleaned up well enough. You showered right?

“Why of course!?!? I checked off ym shower checklist!” only known to close friends, Twilight had a waterproof checklist that she could erase and check off every morning, she een and my name and spike’s to it as well.

“I don’t know…” I said reaching behind her ear and feeling around. “Then what do you suppouse…this is?” I said pulling my hand back into view with a jewelry box.

Twilight’s mouth hung opne for a minute while her teacher and her teacher’s siter giggle like schoolmares. “But how did you-“ I interrupted her with a finger on her lips.

“Ah ah ah you should know a magician never reveals his secrets. Go on open it.” I told her letting her pick it up with her magic.

She opened it with her magic and her eyes went wide. Inside the box was a necklace, it was a simple gold chain but at certain lengths its would stop and there would be a white gem in the shape of a star separating two lengths, all leading up to large pinkish star in the middle.

“It’s my Cutie Mark…and it’s beautiful.” She said pausing to open the second portion of the box. “And there’s two? She pulled a second one out and gave me a confused look.

“The one is for later. It’s a surprise. And no you can’t ask about it we have a full day planned and-“ I was cut off as a guard galloped in.

“Excuse me your majesties but there is a petitioner outside.” He said saluting the princesses.

“But we aren’t holding court today. What is the nature of his request?” Luna said looking puzzled.

“Um actually he has asked to speak With the Sergeant Major.” Everyone stopped looking at the guard and stared at me.

“Um ok…send him in?” I looked down to Twilight who was looking up at me, our faces both showing surprise. I shrugged showing that I had no clue what was going on.

As soon as the guard opened the door a stallion galloped in, he skidded to a halt at the foot of the thorne and sotpped for a second to catch his breath.

“Can I help you?” I asked still a bit shocked an confused.

Upon hgeairng my voice the stallion seemed to gain energy. Her moved quickly up the stpes of the throne and grabbed one of my hands in his hooves.

“Oh please you’ve got to help me! You’re the only one that can!”

“With what?” I asked hunched over.

“My Wedding!!!”

Chapter 32: Somepony To Love

View Online

Chapter 32: Somepony To Love

“OK let me see if I can get this straight before I ask you for more details. You want me to help you…with your wedding?” I stood there next to two princesses and my mare friend, each of whom was as confused as I was.

“Yes,” The stallion said taking time to regain his breath, the sweat coming off his face showed he had ran quite a distance.

“Alright then, proceed with your explanation.” I,waved him on.

“Well as you can tell I’m supposed to be getting married today to the love of my life. We are actually getting married just outside of Ponyville, in the nice quiet countryside like she wanted, everything was fine until this morning,”

“What happened, did she get cold feet?”

“WHAT! Oh no nothing like that, this doesn’t have to do with either of us. The problem is with the band we hired to play at the reception. I just got the word last night that they won’t be able to make it, seeing as how they now have food poisoning. The band is one of my fiance’s favorites, she really wanted them at the wedding and I couldn’t think of any way to replace them until last night,” The stallion said in one breath.

“I’m guessing she doesn’t know?” I asked.

“No she doesn’t. She’s worked hard enough on this wedding, this was something I wanted to fix. We both were at the last Gala you see, and I remembered that she also really liked your performance, she even bought the copies of the songs you sang,”

“But I haven’t been…” I turned to Twilight quickly. “Remind me to talk to your uncle later.” She nodded before I turned to face the stallion again.

“So last night I heard around town that you had gone to Canterlot so I caught the earliest train and made my way here so that I could beg you to perform at my wedding,” I could see from the look on the stallion’s face that he was at the end of his rope.

I honestly couldn’t think of what to do. On one hand I had a stallion whose wedding was depending on me and my ‘OK’ musical talent. And on the other hand it was Hearts and Hooves Day and I had plans with the love of my life and I couldn’t drop those plans.

I started to speak so I could turn him down, and right before the words came out of my mouth Twilight jumped in. “Of course he would be glad to help you on your special day,”

My jaw went slack and my mouth hung open as I looked incredulously at Twilight. I could hear the stallion happily making his way towards me in my stupor and I could also feel him grab my hand and shake it vigorously.


After I didn’t respond for a few minutes Twilight saw that as a sign to escort him out of the room so they could figure out how to get back to Ponyville.

“She’s such a caring mare isn’t she,” Celestia’s voice brought me back to the land of the living. “She knew you were torn up inside because you want to help but didn’t want to be a bad coltfriend and break your Hearts and Hooves Day plans. So she did it for you.”

It took me all of ten seconds to think about it before I simply said, “She really is special.” I stared at the door she walked through for a moment as Luna came up beside me.

“Dan does this mean all you plans for tonight are now ruined?” she put emphasis on the word all so she know what I was talking about.

I thought about it before I came up with an answer. “Actually Luna I think we can probably still make that one work, we planned it for so long I don’t think it should got to waste.” Luna smiled at my answer.

“And with that my princesses, I gotta go save a wedding!” I smiled as I walk down the steps of the throne and broke into a slight jog so I could get across the room quickly.

Stepping through the large throne room doors I found Twilight and the stallion waiting for me. “Oh Dan we arranged to get a chariot to take us to Ponyville,”

“Alright that sounds good,” I told Twilight, learning how to fly on my own had all but gotten rid of my nervousness of riding on a chariot, I now stood up in them instead of sitting in the middle. I walked in time with Twilight and the stallion. “So I never got you name by the way,” I said to the stallion as we got to the chariot.

“Oh it’s Tranquil Creek,” the stallion said before we boarded.

“Hmm ok Tranquil, what is it that you do?” I asked as the chariot got going after all of us were on it.

“Oh well I’m one of the park rangers in Centrot Park in Manehattan,”

“That sounds pretty nice, and what about your soon to be wife?”

“Oh well she works at the zoo in the park, her name is Menagerie,” he said the corners of his mouth turning upward into goofy grin.

“I’m guessing you both met on the job?” I asked.

“Oh yeah I was busy doing my rounds and I noticed her while I was walking through the zoo.”

“OK before you go further can you explain the zoo. I thought that most if not all animals are sentient on this planet?” I was curious.

“Well it’s not like it is slavery or anything, ponies can’t exactly travel far to see all the different type of animals, so instead we sometimes ask the animals if we could use their services in exchange for shelter and food and anything else they want.”

“So basically like a foreign exchange student program…somewhat?” I kept trying to wrap my head around it but something kept escaping my grasp.

Tranquil Creek opened his mouth to say something but stopped, he closed his mouth and put a hoof to his head to think. He repeated the process several times before he looked at Twilight, causing me to look at her as well.

“Well I guess that would technically be a correct way of putting it,” Twilight said her eyes not making contact with either of us.

“OK then, go ahead and continue about how you met Menagerie,” I said trying to put the last two awkward minutes behind everyone.

“Oh, well I was trotting through the zoo saying hi to everyone when I noticed her. She was busy helping the new Lions from Zebrica, and apparently I was staring at her for so long that the lioness she was talking to noticed and pointed me out. She turned around and I got a good look at her deep green eyes for a good second before I realized what was happening and tried to play it off, but I ended up embarrassing myself,” His hoof scraped against the bottom of the chariot as he slowly moved it around in circles while staring at it.

“Tripped over your own hooves didn’t you?” I asked.

“How did you know?” he was surprised at my guess.

“Seemed like the most logical choice, continue on, what happened next?”

“Well as I was getting up she came over to me laughing and trying to ask me if I was okay, I said sure but I just got stuck looking into her eyes again Instead of waiting for me to snap out of it she poked me in the head causing me to wobble a bit. When I came back around I asked her out then and there, I just blurted out the words…and we’ve been together ever since then. A couple of months ago I asked her to marry me and well I think you can guess the rest,” he smiled calmly just looking at the open sky, as if remembering fond memories.

“Ok I think I get the jist of it,” I said to him before I turned to Twilight. “I’m just gonna fly right next the chariot, I need to think a bit about what I’m gonna do ok?”

“Fine but just don’t try anything stupid I definitely don’t want to have to go to see the doctor sooner than expected ok?” she said, her tone a mix of seriousness and sarcasm.

“When do I ever do anything stupid?” I mocked in innocence.

“I’ve started filling up a book with all the examples, it’s about half full as of now,” she smirked and I bent down to give her a quick kiss before leaping over the rail of the chariot. I fell a few feet before everything kicked in and then I simply moved myself upwards till I was level with the chariot.

The rest of the trip to Ponyville was calm and uneventful. We landed outside the Library and got off thanking the guard for their help. I walked inside and headed straight for the bedroom grabbing something nice to wear, I was going to a wedding after all. Twilight walked in behind me and also set out to put some clothing on. She put on a dress I had never seen before, I could only assume that Rarity had given it to her and told her to keep it secret. I noticed some kind of symbols on it that I remembered Twilight was looking up in some book about magic, but I didn’t ask about it thinking that it was just part of the dresses style. We both came out of the room at the same time, I grabbed my guitar and walked out with Twilight and Tranquil.

We walked through the town and then reached what I could only assume was the church. A small bit away from the church was the setup of a couple of tents. As we got closer I saw a couple of ponies waiting outside the doors. Their nervousness was apparent with trace of sweat on their brows and their eyes were darting back and forth. When we got with a few hooves; or feet in my case the stallion looked our way, more specifically they looked at Tranquil and rushed towards us. One was a mare with a light pink coat and the other was a stallion whose coat was some shade of green; sometimes being colorblind had its disadvantages.

“Tranquil where have you been?” the mare asked in a near shouting voice. She grabbed him by his withers and shook him hard enough to make his head a blur. “Ponies have been asking questions, heck if you hadn’t have left that note then even we might have thought that you got cold hooves!” She would have kept on shaking him if not for the stallion who separated them before taking his turn to talk.

“Yeah so what’s up, is everything ok? The note you left just said reception problems, I’ve been checking out the setup, the DJ arrived but the band hasn’t,” the stallion said.

“Well that’s the thing… the band isn’t coming, apparently they got sick,” Tranquil told the two ponies whose jaws proceeded to drop open.

The mare was the first to get her words out. “B-But that’s Meanies favorite music group…what are we gonna do? There’s not time to find someone else she like’s, oh this is going to be a dis-“ Tranquil managed to silence her with a hoof and started speaking again.

“Well guys that’s why I was gone for so long, I had to go all the way to Canterlot to find a replacement, and I don’t think I did too badly,” he said, his chest puffing out slightly as his used one hoof to point upwards towards me.

“Who did you get you know Menagerie is kind of…picky…about her…music?” her words slowed and pitch went up as she finally inclined her neck and got a look at me, I still couldn’t comprehend how I just seemed invisible at times to creature pretty much half my size.

As she and the stallion both finally noticed and got a good look at me I waved casually pretending like nothing big was happening. “Hi how’s it going?” I asked trying to hold in my laughter.

The mare slowly looked down from me and then back to Tranquil. “You went to Canterlot, barged into the palace, threw yourself at the mercy of the princesses and begged Dan; Equestria’s First Human, to play music at your wedding?” she was shouting again, her eyes looking between Tranquil and I.

“Well I wouldn’t put it as begging, that implies he asked multiple times, It would be more akin to… what would you call it Twilight?” I asked, trying to draw some of the attention to her.

The eyes of the mare whose jaw was already on the floor widened as Twilight came from around my right side. “Well I think in technical grammar terms it would be that, he made a plea for help, since he only asked once,”

The mare looked between the three of us for a while she finally came to her senses. “You know what? I don’t have time for this. You don’t have time for this,” She leveled her hoof an inch from Tranquil’s face. “You have literally two minutes to get in there, get dressed, and get ready to get married, otherwise I’m going to beat the snot out of you and you’re going to have to explain it to Meanie why you look like hell.” She lowered her hoof and started walking back to the church. The other stallion started to open his mouth to say something but a glare from the mare made him shut his mouth.

“Well that was my mare of honor and best stallion.” Tranquil sighed as both of them disappeared back inside the church. “Well if you guys want to come in for the ceremony you’re more than welcome. But I better get in there before I end up with a bloody snout and black eye” he said before galloping towards the building.

Twilight and I decided not to go to the wedding, it would serve as a better surprise to be seen at the reception. On the short walk Twilight asked me a question. “So….'Meanie'?” she said simply trying to wrap her intellect around it.

“Probably a nickname short for Menagerie, it’s kind of easier to give nicknames for ponies with long names, it can kinda be exhausting to say full names,” I quipped, piquing her interest.

“Oh is that true?”

“Yes Twilight sparkle, Twilight, Twily, Twi, Twishy.”

“Twishy? I’ve never been called that!” she responded.

“I just made it up, did it go over well?” She shook her head in response to my question, a new nickname was definitely out of the question. “Oh well you win some you lose some.” was the last thing I said before we walked into the reception area and saw who the DJ was.

“Hey Dan! Hey cousin Twishy!” Vinyl said cheerfully as she sprung up from behind her turntable setup.”

“Hello Vinyl…wait how did you know about-“ Twilight greeted her cousin and then started to ask a question but was interrupted.

“Oh it’s pretty quiet in here I heard you guys coming down the road. Oh and I fully approve of the new nickname are you gonna be using it big guy?” You couldn’t see Vinyl’s eye but you could tell she was looking at her cousin before she looked at me and asked.

“Well it seems she doesn’t like it, so I’ll put it on the backburner for a while and bring it up later,” I said catching Twilight’s reaction.

“That sounds cool, so… why are you guys here?”

“Oh apparently the band they wanted is sick and can’t come so the groom came all the way to Canterlot and practically barged into the throne and begged Dan to play at his wedding!” Twilight said in a chipper tone, her remark caused Vinyl to stare at me.

“So you offered to play at some random stallion’s wedding instead of doing something else on Hearts and Hooves Day?” she put some emphasis on the last words of her sentence and the frown she wore show me how angry she was.

“Oh Vinyl it’s not like that, I actually told Tranquil that Dan would play his wedding. I could see that it was bothering him so I made the decision for him,” Twilight spoke up quickly, seeing the error of how she explained the situation.

Vinly looked to her cousin and then back to me, here eye still narrowed at me as she said “Well…ok, but don’t think you’re off the hook,” she waggled a hoof at me. “Now go set up the ceremony should be done soon.” she stopped pointing at me long enough to point over to a stage where some instruments were already set up.

I went over and began to set up my guitar as well as check out what other instruments were here. After a while I heard the telltale signs of ponies arriving. Bells ringing and ponies cheering celebrated. I didn’t know if the groom and the bride would arrive first so I decided not spoil the surprise. Hiding behind one of the fold of the large tent I waited for the right time to show myself.

I was waiting for about ten or fifteen minutes before my time finally arrive, I could hear ponies talking as the reception finally got underway. Vinyl had played some music for the bride and groom as things got ready and then someone a microphone was handed to somepony.

“Uh, hi everypony,” Tranquil’s amplified voice carried well. “Well first I’d like to thank everpony for coming today…” I kept listening and one thing that stuck in my mind was how to make an entrance. Quickly looking inside I noticed that on the roof of the tents were these fake windows, to let some extra sun in, I noticed that one was above the stage.

As quietly as I could I flew above the tent and managed to open the fake plastic window. Right as I got it open I heard Tranquil start to introduce me. “Well baby I know this is a day that both of us have look forward to but there is one slight change though. I know you had your heart set on having your favorite band here today but last night I went out and I think I found a great alternative that you’re going to like.”

I took that as my cue and dropped my magic and let myself fall, it was only ten feet I could handle a fall like that. That didn’t mean it hurt when I landed on my side. I heard a couple of gasps and screams. I quickly got up, purposely facing away from the audience and began to dust myself off. After a couple of whispers went round I looked over my shoulder nonchalantly before turning back and then did a double take before I turned around with a smile.

“Well that’s definitely one way to make an entrance right?” my joke caused a few to laugh. I walked over to Tranquil and the mare who I guessed was Menagerie, her eyes were as wide as dinner plates and it looked like her jaw was almost touching the ground.

“Now before you make a sound just know that it was completely your now husband’s idea to ask me,” Menagerie looked to Tranquil, the look of her face not changing. It took a couple of seconds before she squealed like a fangirl and hug tackled her new husband.

“OH THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!” I chuckled as she hugged Tranquil and yelled his ear off at the same time.

I made my way back to the stage and slung my guitar strap across my back. “Alright, now that we got out of the way, as I think it’s tradition, the first song and dance goes to the newlyweds!”

With a bit of hesitance both of them got off their place on the ground and walked over to the dance floor. I looked back to the ponies that had joined me on stage, they were back up performers and I was glad I wouldn’t have to be a one man band on this occasion.

“Are the Bride and Groom ready?” both of them nodded hesitantly. “Just remember Tranquil don’t step on her hooves, nothing good ever comes from that,” I said getting some laughs. I turned around to the rest of the makeshift band and said “Ok guys just follow my lead and we should be alright, 3…2…1.”

The beat started out slow and built only slightly, the song was meant to be a slower one. I hadn’t really listened to this song all that much but it was one that seemed perfect for a situation like this. I looked all around the tent to find where Twilight was sitting, I found her sitting in the back close to where her cousin had set up. I knew this wasn’t the kind of Hearts and Hooves Day she was expecting but I was definitely going to make it up to her.

Tranquil and Menagerie finished Dancing and applause went out from every corner of the tent. They both blushed and then looked at me expectantly on what to do next.

“Alright now I’m not going to be able to do all this singing in one setting so I’ll do two more before a quick break,” I quickly looked behind me to see if I had anypony playing a trumpet, I frowned as I found that the answer was no. “Um…does anypony know how to play a trumpet here?” I looked to the crowd with hope. But I got nothing but headshake and murmurs in return.

“Uh I do…” I looked down to see Tranquil raising his hoof.

“Well that’s unexpected…this day is just full of surprises. Ok get up here I need you for the next song.” The stallion walked to the front of the stage and started to climb before I stopped him. “Use the stairs Tranquil no one wants to see your plot flying off the stage as you try to climb up here.” That one got a lot of laughter.

He got up and grabbed the trumpet from the back of the stage and rushed up almost tripping over his own hooves. “OK, ok, steady Tranquil, steady, now like I told them just follow me and you should be fine. Alright ladies and gentlestallions, here’s a new type of music from my world that I have no clue whether or not you’ve heard anything like it before.”

I had the drummer start it up and when I was ready I strummed the string on my guitar and Tranquil and I counted down. “One, two, ONE TWO THREE FOUR!” even as we went through the beginning of the story I could tell that ponies had never heard Ska music before, it was really evident as ponies rushed the dance floor and started dancing and cheering at us. I could see Menagerie at the front of the stage watching her hubby doing something that in her mind exceeded awesome.

As the song ended I took my guitar off and let Tranquil take a bow as the cheers rolled in, he jumped off the stage and landed next to his wife who proceeded to smother him in hugs and kisses.

“OK you two, save some of that for the honeymoon, I got one more before we take a small break, Vinyl are you ready?” I said hopping off the stage. I could see her tail swishing above the console as she worked underneath it.

“Yeah I think we are good to go, thanks for letting me use your watchamacallit!” she said as she came out from under her set up. She lifted a microphone with her magic and tossed it to me.

“Alright I hope everyone here remembers me and DJ-PON3 doing a bit of a collaboration at the last Gala, and well now we are going to do it again! DJ SPIN THE RECORD!” I shouted before the music started playing. It was a bit of an old song that I had almost forgot about, it was very happy and uplifting, perfect for playing at a wedding.

After the song was over I took a quick bow and waited for a majority of the applause to stop before I excused myself to go sit with Twilight. She levitated a glass of water over before I got to my seat and I drank it in few gulps, singing too much really put a strain on my throat.

“So how am I doing so far?” I asked her, panting slightly wiping the sweat from my brow.

“You’re doing fine, that second song you did was incredible, what kind of music is that called?”

“It’s called Ska, it’s always kind of upbeat and happy.”

"It did sound that way.” she said before going silent for a bit.

“Are you happy with this, being how our first Hearts and Hooves day ended up?” I decided to skip too the big issue of today.

“Oh yes, I mean I know that you like helping and it makes you happy. So if this becomes our plan for the day then I’m happy about it.” she said trying to reassure me of her decision.

“Well I wouldn’t say it was our only plan for today, I do have something else in mind for later. But before you ask, yes it is a secret,” I said confusing her on purpose, I wanted at least something to be a surprise of my own making.

I felt a hoof prod my midsection and turned to see Menagerie and Tranquil standing next to me. “Hey you two enjoying the festivities?” I managed to say before the mare wrapped her forelegs around me and pulled me into a tight hug. She didn’t scream or anything she just hugged me for a bit before she finally spoke.

“Thank you so much for this, I don’t think it could have been better, and I just love your music,” she broke the hug and I was able to see that she was crying slightly. Although it looked more like tears of joy than anything else.

“Well I’m not done just yet, I got at least two more songs I think you’ll enjoy. Hey Vinyl is my whatchamacallit still hooked up to you system?” I shouted slightly, the mare barely heard me with her headphones on and took a second away from her work to look at her stuff and then back to me and nodded.

“Ok good that means this won’t be difficult,” I said getting up. I walked over and grabbed my phone and started flipping through some things, I was glad that it had survived my many mishaps and accidents. I was also glad that Twilight had found a way to keep it charged, and that she hadn’t smashed it open in a fit of science to see its inner workings. Flipping through some menus I found the songs I was looking for and loaded them up.

I grabbed a microphone and waited for the song Vinyl was playing to stop. Once it did I spoke up again and headed to the stage. “Ok is everypony having a good time?” and good amount of cheers and whistles. “Alright I got two more songs for you ponies.”

“Now on a day like today it’s always good that your music has a theme, and that’s what I’ve been trying to do so in keeping with my theme of new love and such let’s see if this works!” I said before the eighties music started playing. I lowered my voice a little bit and started swaying back and forth with the music, and the ponies started dancing in the same way. Twilight was also dancing and it had been awhile since I had seen her dance, but I think she might have gotten some lessons seeing as how she was not flailing about the whole place.

The song came to a close and I grabbed the glass of water I brought up with me and happily gulped it down. “Well it looks like you guys like that one, now before I go into the next song I have a question for the groom about his bride.” I looked down on the two ponies who were wondering what I was doing. “So Tranquil, tell me something, is you new wife…superstitious?”

Menagerie looked like she was going to say something but Tranquil took about one second to think before he shouted out “Yeah!” causing a round of laughter to go out as his wife blushed.

“Ok and is she a bit of a party animal?”

“Yes!” his answer was instantaneous.

“Well then this next songs fits perfectly,” I said as I watched Menagerie jab Tranquil in his side.

The trumpets blared from the sound system and everyone was lost in the latin rhythm of the song. During the song while I was singing I walked off stage and started twirling Twilight across the dance floor while continuing to get the lyrics right.

Everything came to a standstill when the song ended, everyone was silent as they stopped dancing and tried to regain their breath. I set Twilight down from the pose I had been holding her in. She kept blushing as I set her down and we made our way over to Tranquil and Menagerie.

“Well how was that?” I asked both of them.

“That was…it was…” Tranquil started to say but couldn’t find the words.

“COMPLETELY AWESOME!” Menagerie finished Tranquil’s sentence with a shout.

“Well I’m glad both of you enjoyed it,” I said before the sound of something hitting the tent above us grabbed my attention. Looking outside I could see a steady stream of rain falling down. “Oh hey it’s raining, glad you guys had a tent.”

“Yeah we heard that the weather team for this town was going to schedule it right before the night. So we thought it would be best we didn’t want anybody getting accidentally soaked,” Menagerie said looking outside.

“Yeah that would be ba- wait did you say before night?” I asked not really knowing what time it was I had completely forgotten to check it.

“Yeah right before Princess Luna raised the moon they scheduled it why?”

“Oh well not to try and leave suddenly but I have something planned for a specific time with Twilight, so would you two mind if we-“ Menagerie cut me of simply smiling at me, her nod was all the clarification I needed. “Oh thank you two so much, Twilight we gotta go!” I called out to the mare who turned to me and then looked out at the rain.

“But Dan it’s still raining?”

“I know but we got to be somewhere at a very specific time. and besides a little rain never hurt anypony, if we make a run for it we won’t get that wet,” I said grabbing her, holding her in the crook of my arm.

“Ah Dan what are you EEP!” she squeaked at the end as the cold rain hit her as I ran out. Thankfully I knew we were pretty close to where I wanted us to be. After running for a couple of minutes we arrive at a hill top that was free of rainclouds.

“Well here we are,” I said putting Twilight down. I let her inspect the area and find a table set for two.

“Ok what are you planning?” her curiosity got the best of her and I knew she couldn’t figure it all out since one major part had yet to be revealed.

“Well have a seat first.” I moved over to the table and pulled out the chair for her, once she sat I pushed the chair in and moved around the table and sat in mine. This was supposed to be my grand finale but I guess due to other things this is the only thing I have left, although I’m still glad that I could keep it a surprise.

“So what is the big surprise?”

“Well you do have your necklace, right?” I watched as she slowly moved her hoof up to the necklace that she had been wearing the whole day. “And you remember the second one right?” I took out the box since I knew she wouldn’t have been able to carry it. I opened it and passed it over to her.

“Yeah what about it?” she was adorable when she was confused, her ears twitched slightly and she got this look in her eyes.

“Well it’s not really a necklace, charge some magic into it and then throw it as high as you can,” I told her. I watched with a smile on my face as she did and once she let go the magic happened.

The necklace flew through the air and once it hit a point it rocketed higher until it seemed like it was up in space. And then the sky began to change. Stars seemed more visible and the air it selfed seemed to become visible and swirl in a collection of colors.

Way back when i gave Luna the copy of Van Gogh painting the idea made it’s way into my head, it wasn’t until I asked her if it was possible, and she said yes, that I decided to try it out. I looked at Twilight’s who stared at the sky in amazement, her eye seemed to glisten in wonder as she watched.

“What do you think?” I said drawing her attention.

“It’s so beautiful,” she said never taking her eyes of the sky.

“Well for me it’s the second most beautiful thing right now,” I said causing her to finally make eye contact.

“And what’s the first?” she asked. I simply stared at her, raising an eyebrow. “Oh…so you did all of this for me?”

“Well you know what they say about first impressions,” I got up and went over to a little speaker that was near us, I took my phone out looked for the song I had been saving for tonight and hooked my phone up to the speaker.

The slow band music started and I moved over to Twilight and pulled her up so she was face to face with me, and slowly I started dancing with her under our magical sky. I felt the tingle of her magic over my skin. In a flash she had changed into her more human form and we could dance a bit more properly. Slowly we danced and just held each other, her head rested on my shoulder. We were still a bit wet, our clothes clinging to us slightly.

“I love you Twilight Sparkle,” I said in a whisper

“I love you too Dan,” were the only words that were spoken for awhile as the song came to a close and as we slowly pulled apart…

“Aachoo!” Twilight sneezed a small cute kind of sneeze, after she finished she looked at me and I looked at her. Quickly I put a hand to her forehead and felt a little more heat than usual coming off of it.

“Well this is different, how about we head home and get you snuggled into bed?” I said as I leaned her into my shoulder, she nodded looking at me with her tired eyes. She had taken care of me when I was sick before and now it might be my turn to do the same. At least we had had a good Hearts and Hooves Day.

Chapter 33: Sugar, Spice, and some things from your everyday pharmacy

View Online

Chapter 33: Sugar, Spice, and some things from your everyday pharmacy

Coughing, coughing was the first thing I heard the next morning. Slowly I sat up and managed to open my eyes to see darkness. I waved my hand in front of my face to make sure I was not blind. The dark blurred outline of the appendage showed that it was just dark in the room. Blinking a couple of times to try and acclimate my eyes I looked over at the second occupier of the bed.

I could make out Twilight lying next to me, she was tossing and turning and seemed to be having trouble simply breathing. I squinted in the dark trying to read the face of the clock that sat on the nightstand on Twilight’s side of the bed. The time looked to be around five in the morning but I could be wrong. Slowly I got out the bed, small creaks sounded off as my feet hit the floorboards. Slowly and quietly I shuffled towards the bathroom, I used my magic to illuminate the space around me. Making sure to duck I got into the bathroom without any injury. Using one hand I managed to grab a couple of things from the medicine cabinet. One again I made my way back to the bed. I chuckled slightly as I found out that I could light a candle with my magic, my arm like a matchstick. Slowly as the glow brightened the room a little I set the stuff from the bathroom down on my nightstand.

“Twilight…” I gently nudged her, earning something between a mumble and a moan. “Twilight,” I said a bit louder, pulling the blanket off of her and seeing that she was sleeping in basically puddle of sweat.

“Fwah? If it time to gef up?” she said, her voice hoarse, croaky and nasally. She squirmed a bit in the sheet she was wrapped in, I watched as she opened her eyes, she looked exhausted and not at full health.

“No but you’re tossing and turning a lot and sweating more than Rainbow Dash after a hard workout. How are you feeling?” I asked, putting a hand up to her forehead, trying carefully to not poke myself with her horn. My hand met the dampness of her fur and felt the heat coming of her. "It feels like you got a bit of a fever," I said reaching with my free hand to grab the box of tissues I brought with me.

"Here, blow your nose," I told her holding up a tissue. Her horn lit up and the tissues floated out of my hand and levitated for about a second before her magic fizzled and the tissue dropped. I watched the tissue float down to the bed and then looked at Twilight, she looked slightly angry at the tissue. Before I could say anything she grabbed the tissue and promptly blew her nose. The sound was anything but pretty or graceful but it still made me smile for some reason. She crumpled it up with her hooves, and while I was pondering how that was completely possible she gave it a small toss towards the waste basket in the room.

“Can you breath or are you all stuffed up?”

“Stuffed up isn’f a real medical diagnofis,” she said, the sound of her voice basically giving me an answer.

“Here I got some of that eucalyptus rub left over from when I was sick that one day, it should help a bit. We’ll worry about it more once the sun comes up. Now come here,” I said grabbing the little container. I dipped my finger into the gek and moved back to Twilight. “Now for some immediate relief apply here,” I said running it along her muzzle, right above her mouth. In between applications I turned to grab a tissue so I could clean my hands , when I turned back to Twilight I found her licking her lips.

“Hey no eating that,” I chuckled.

“But it tastes good and it helps my throat,” Twilight sighed, I took her word for it as she seemed to relax slightly. I applied the gel to her muzzle again and then applied some to her underside, I think that area was called the breast if I remembered that lecture Twilight had given me about equine anatomy. And just because she didn’t have human breasts didn’t mean I didn’t blush as I rubbed the gel into that particular area.

“Feel better Twilight?” I asked while wiping my hands clean.

“Yeah a little bit, maybe now I can sleep better,” she said as she started to pull the covers back over her.

“Whoa whoa whoa. You’re basically sleeping in a puddle of sweat there, that’s not good for you switch sides with me so you can be a bit more dry,” I said pushing her to my side of the bed. “And don’t worry I’ve slept in worse.” I forcibly tucked her in and moved to her side of the bed. “Now let’s try and get a little more sleep ok?’ I said laying my head down and going back to sleep.

The next thing I heard was the hellish sound of Twilight’s alarm clock. That was really the only way to describe the sound it made as the small hammer quickly moves back and forth between the two bells. I flailed my arm about, trying to find the accursed noise making machine, sighing when I finally managed to stop it. I got out of the bed to stretch a bit before looking at Twilight. She looked like she was sleeping a bit more peaceful. But the weird rise and fall of her chest showed me that she was still probably stuffed up. I sat on the bed for a while and just watched her as she slept.

"You know, Rarity would say that it’s not polite to stare,” Twilight said, eye closed still looking like she was asleep.

“How long have you been up?” I asked as she remained still.

“Since the stupid alarm clock went off, I thank you for not smashing it with your magic though,” She said slowly moving and getting out of bed.

“I will say that it has crossed my mind a few times,” I said watching her making sure she didn’t fall or something. “How are you feeling?”

“Ugh, still stuffed up a bit, I feel like I got a headache and my throat is scratchy. And not to mention that even though I just got out of bed I’m exhausted.” she answered my question while swaying a bit on her hooves.

“Well what do you want to do check the book of unicorn illnesses?” it may have only been eight in the morning but I could still give good sarcasm.

“Oh don’t be ridiculous Dan, there’s no book of unicorn illnesses,” Twilight laughed, slowly going down the stairs. I watched her as she walked over to a bookcase, and struggled as she pulled out a book that was as large as a suitcase. “There is however the Equestrian Health .Guide, 5th edition. It has all the latest facts and figures about equine health and sickness,” she said with a smile, even when not feeling well it was pretty adorable.

“Alright then let’s crack open this tome and answer the question “What is making Twilight feel under the weather?” I said grabbing a good portion of the giant book and opening it.

“It’s not a tome Dan, I don’t know why you wou—“ she was silenced when I let the portion of the book I was holding fall to the floor with a thump.

“You see? Only tomes make that kind of sound,” I tried to make my tone sound like I was half serious and half joking.

“Oh shut up and get down here and help me look,” she said. I sat down next to her and began to read at random from the pages we were on. I had no clue that there were so many different health problems that ponies could face, and that the book described them in great detail, unfortunately for me.

“Well I haven’t found anything that matches any symptoms you have…thank goodness for that. What about you Twi?” I waited for a bit but didn’t get a reply. “Twilight?” I looked over to her and found her eyes staring straight at a spot in the book.

“Oh how could I be so stupid? I have Uninfluenza!” she raised her hooves to the ceiling and shouted.

“Can you guys keep it down? A dragon can’t get any decent sleep around here?” Spike shouted from upstairs, causing Twilight to wince slightly.

“So Uninfluenza? Besides sounding like you just have the flu, does it do anything else to you?” I asked, bringin my volume down a bit.

“Well it can cause problems with unicorn magic, it can basically shut off a unicorn’s magic, or make it go out of control, or both could happen in random fits,” she said. She attempted to close the book with her magic only for it to fizzle. “Um… kind of like that.”

“Ok then. I guess I see what’s going to happen today.” I said, managing to close the tome.

“And what’s that?”

“Well for one I hope you didn’t have too much planned for today, because you missy are under the weather and need rest and relaxation, no ifs, ands, or buts,” I said.

“But what about my schedule for today, and all the plans I made with everypony?” Twilight started to protest.

“We’ll write everyone a note explaining the situation, and then explain more once everyone shows up worrying about you,” I said as I got some of Twilight’s stuff to write with.

“That was oddly specific at the end there Dan,”

“I know our friends well, remember when I was sick that one time? Everypony showed up like it was the end of the world,”

“Point taken. So what am I supposed to do for the day?”

“Well first you are going to rest on the couch over here, if you want a book to read I’ll get it, I’ll make you some of that tea you like, and I will make it my mission to find a way to entertain you and make you feel better,” I said while I put the stuff I was holding down, picked Twilight up, and moved her over to the couch.

“That sounds like a lot, do you think you can handle all that?” she said giving me one of her trademark smirks.

“Well I’ve lead soldiers into battle and that was pretty challenging. But trying to keep the Twilight Sparkle, one of the most over reactive ponies, happy and well rested… well this is going to be one of my hardest tasks eve-oomph,” I took a throw pillow to the face for my joke.

“Hey what’s with all the chatter this early in the morning?” Spiked said, alerting us to his presence as he came down the stairs.

“Oh well Twilight’s got a small case of Uninfluenza and not feeling well, so I’m making her take the day off, you think once you’ve had breakfast you can send some letters out to everyone?”

“Yeah sure, do you also want me to get out the “Sick Twilight” Checklist?” he said so nonchalantly I almost missed it.

"Yeah sure, since it’s actually a thing. How about you go get that and I’ll pour you some cereal?”

“Alright but go light on the milk I don’t want it getting soggy,” He replied as he turned away from the kitchen. It was easier for me to do that then to ask him where to find this checklist. It took him all of five minutes as he opened a drawer and pulled out a scroll. “Here you go. It seems old but it hasn’t changed much since Mom wrote it all those years ago,” Spike said handing me the scroll, I remembered how Velvet had said that she viewed Spike as her own son even though she hadn’t given birth to him.

“Alright then thanks Spike, just let me know when you send the letter to everypony. Here’s your cereal by the way,” I handed him the bowl and watched as he took a bite and sighed somewhat as it crunched in his mouth.

“You know something Dan? You make pretty good food. You’re alright in my book,”

“Did it just take now to get me there?” I asked.

“Well you’ve never made me food so you’ve been on the cusp. I’ll go wake Titanus up while you get started on that checklist,” he said heading for the basement door.

“Ok sounds like a plan,” I said walking over to the couch where I had put Twilight.

“Oh you got the “Taking care of Twilight” checklist, Mom wrote that so long ago but it’s never really changed.”

“I guess Velvet knew that her daughter loved routine so much that she wouldn’t have to change it even when she wasn’t a little filly anymore” I said opening the scroll. “Oh look it’s even got a picture of little filly Twily on here,” I laughed, turning the scroll around so that Twilight could see a miniature drawn version of her on the parchment. “Now that is precious.”

“Oh will you get on with the checklist already?” I heard Twilight huff as I brought my eyes away from the little drawing.

“Alrighty then, step one; put Twilight somewhere you can keep an eye on her at all times,” I paused, looking up from the list to Twilight. Looking at the couch and all the vantage points it gave me. “Check. Step two; get her a comfortable blanket,” I read walking up the stairs and into the bedroom. I opened the closet and dug through a box of my stuff to find a blanket I knew would work.

“Ok then step two check.” I said after a quick trip back to the main room, and draped the blanket over Twilight.

“Oh where did this come from?” Twilight asked, I hadn’t brought it out before so it was a good guess that she probably hadn’t known about it.

“Oh well, it’s basically a replica of a blanket from my home, that I’ve had since I was a kid. I asked Rarity of she could try and make it awhile back, and she succeeded. It’s kind of like a little memento for me. And I thought that since it was pony sized, that it would suit the job here,” I said trying not to blush.

“Oh that is so cute, and very sweet of you Dan,” she told me as she snuggled into the blanket. It was slightly bigger than her so it left her some room for maneuvering.

“Alright the next step is, um ok ah I don’t think I should read this part aloud…” my voice faded out in a mumble.

“Oh just read it, it can’t be that bad,” Twilight got a bit angry, her OCD kicked in sometimes when I didn’t’ finish reading things aloud.

“Well ok then, you asked for it. Step three; if Twilight has finally gotten some friends, and they come over to see her. Tell them that she is sick and cannot come out to play,” My throat hurt slightly from how my voice kept changing because I tried my hardest to not start laughing.

“Mmmmooooommmm,” Twilight groaned and twisted around under the blanket. She grabbed a tissue and blew her nose before she resumed talking. “I’m not that kind of filly anymore.”

“Well anyway you do have friends now and if Spike sent those letters out then I think if I timed it right then I should be able to do step three in five, four, three, two, one,” I looked to the front door only to find nothing happening. “I really thought that I would get that,” I said before the door slammed open.

A cacophony of questions flooded the room and overlapped with one another making it impossible to hear anything. I watched as all of our friends walked, climbed, and flew over each other trying to get their words to a somewhat surprised Twilight.

“Will everyone please QUIET DOWN!” Twilight shouted over everyone, which caused them to stop. “I understand your concern but it’s nothing to get too excited about. It’s not like the first time Dan was sick, remember how that went?”

“Uh for those of us that weren’t there can someone fill us in on that?” Swift Gale asked as she raised her hoof.

“I almost had to beat them back with a broom so they didn’t whisk me off to some lab, it was just a simple cold. I still think the time I started growing my beard was worse than that. Twilight didn’t break out her hazmat suit the first time,” I called out to everyone drawing some attention away from Twilight. “Well anyway now that you all are here I have part of a checklist to do that involves you so nobody move,” I walked in between The group and Twilight holding the scroll up like some kind of medieval messenger. “ Dear Twilight’s friends or ponies she was supposed to work with today on something. Twilight has a slight case of Uninfluenza and will not be able to come out and play or work.” I put the scroll down, making a mental reminder to check that off when I got a chance. “Now you know everything I know so—“

“Wait you said Uninfluenza?” Pinkie interrupted me. “Isn’t that contagious to other unicorns? QUICK ALL UNICORNS GET OUT SAVE THE CUTE ONES!” she suddenly gasped, grabbing Flintlock from somewhere out of the group and holding him above her head. As quickly as I could see her move , pinkie buzzed towards the door, Flintlock still being held above her. As she crossed the threshold of the door, there was a sound that resembled a judge slamming his gavel. I watched Pinkie run outside on her back two legs, her front two legs were still up in the air, but not holding anything. Looking at the top of the doorframe I saw Flintlock who with the speed Pinkie was moving had gotten lodged horn first. Weirdly enough his posture hadn’t changed form when Pinkie picked him up, he was still in the sitting position, and gravity wasn’t having any affect on him.

“Um you okay up there Flintlock?” I asked.

“Heh, she called me cute,” I heard him say before a pink hoof reached through the doorway, grabbed his tail, and pulled him out.

I made a note that everyone including me watch that spectacle and paused for a bit before I started speaking again. “Now I know you all had something to do that involved Twilight today but you’re going to have to reschedule, which will be done later. Rarity do you think you could take Spike and Titanus for the day?” I asked after addressing everyone again.

“Oh sure darling, it’s no problem, if it can make your job here easier then I welcome it,”

“Ok then that settles that,” I said before I noticed everyone elses downtrodden faces. “Ok now before everyone gets all sad, how about I make you guys a deal? If you guys all go and do something else while I get Twilight feeling better than later today I’ll give you guys a surprise?” I watched as, like children, everyone broke out into a smile.

Quickly as they had come in everyone, save for Rarity left. Rarity stayed around for a bit as she waited for Spike and Titanus. “So are you sure that you’ll be able to take care of Twilight all by yourself Dan? You do know that she can sometimes be,” Rarity held that last word for awhile, struggling to finding something to say that wouldn’t hurt her friends feelings.

“Obsessive Compulsive? Picky? Perfectionist?” I threw out a couple of words.

“You both know that I am sitting over here right?” Twilight called from the couch.

“Well anyways I hope you feel better Twilight. And I hope you do your best Dan, I will return later for your surprise, ta-ta for now,” she waved as she left with Spike and Titanus, she used her magic to close the door.

Once it was quiet in the library I took a couple of seconds to just appreciate the silence before I returned to the checklist. “OK next is step four. Do work around the house and help Twilight if she needs anything.”

“The other checklist for the library work today is in my desk drawer. Oh and can I get some tea please? Oh and a couple of books, some light reading will relax me,” Twilight called out after I finished reading the step.

Getting used to equestrian appliances had taken a bit of time, but I had gotten the hang of it, it was like all the appliances were out of a 1950s sitcom, everything was just a bit older and more manual than I was used to. Brewing tea was also something I had to learn, but thankfully I had Twilight, Rarity, Fluttershy, and the princesses to teach me otherwise ponies would be lucky if they got boiled water instead.

“Your tea milady,” I jokingly acted like a butler setting a tray down on the little table near the couch. I left her tea in the cup, Twilight was very precise about what she put in her tea. I grabbed the second checklist I would need and unfurled it. Today’s library work wasn’t extensive or anything as hard as re-shelving it all. All I had to do was make sure that they were in the right order for their section.

I got to work, fortunately I now had a third checklist which was all the books, which aided me in my job. I could see why Spike didn’t like doing all this work sometimes, but it was more difficult for him than it was me. He had to get a ladder and do a lot of climbing, moving, and checking, while I was tall enough that I never really required it.

“You seem to be having an easier time than Spike does,” I looked over to find Twilight staring at me from over the back of the couch.

“Well if Spike was my height, I think he would find it easier as well. And why exactly are you watching me work?”

“Well somebody forgot to get me some books to read, so all I can do is watch you, and make mental notes of your mistakes. Oh it would be easier for someone to do their job if only my eyes weren’t on them constantly,” she smirked at me.

“Ok ok I get it I get it, Twilight. Now let’s see which books should I give you?” I lit up my magic and used it to randomly pick ten books off the shelf. “Here you go I think these will be able to entertain you,” I floated them to the table and neatly stacked them one on top of another.

“Oh what are they all about? And why did you give me ten books,”

“Well the answer to the first question is that I have no clue I picked them at random. And as for why there are so many, do you really think you’ll be satisfied with one book?’ I returned on of her questions with a question.

“Oh well I guess you're right on that one, come here,” she held her forelegs open for a hug and I couldn’t refuse. I felt the warmth of her body and just wanted to stay like in the same position forever, but unfortunately I had work to do.

“Ok that’s enough hugging for now, you’ve still got some work to do mister and I will be double checking,” she broke the hug first and playfully waved her foreleg at me. “Oh and also be thinking about what to make for lunch please,” she said as I slowly went back to work.

It didn’t take me long to finish up and after that I moved into the kitchen and made lunch for the both of us. Soup for Twilight and just a plain peanut butter and jelly sandwich for me. “So how many of those books have you gotten through?” I said after swallowing a bite.

“Oh only around five, normally when I’m feeling fine I would probably be through at least seven of them, but what are you gonna do?” she posed an aimless question.

“Well glad to see your keeping a positive mind today,” I told her, thinking about how the day could have played out.

"Well what was the worst thing you could think of?”

“Not as bad as the Smarty Pants tardy friendship report incident but somewhere within that ball park,” I noticed the look she was giving me and tried to turn the conversation around. “But if it makes you feel any better, so far everything that’s happened has been my best case scenario,” I smiled trying to make it seem like something great.

Twilight in return just stared at me with a deadpanned expression for a while before talking again. “Pick me up so I can inspect your work on my library,” her possessive tone told me that I should just do as she says with no lip service. I picked her up bridal style, smirking a bit as she blushed and fumbled around her words. I held her close as I moved from bookshelf to bookshelf. She scrutinized everything from top to bottom, her eye narrowed, never saying a word.

After the last shelf she pointed back to the couch. I walked back over to it sitting down and putting her across my lap where I petted her mane, she didn’t seem to mind.

“So did I pass?”

“I would give it a pass. But now I want you to do something else for me,” she leaned into my touch, she always liked it when I treated her like a pet.

“Oh and what would that be?” I knew it probably didn’t require me getting up from my spot, but I couldn’t guess anything else.

“I want you to… sing to me,”

“Umm ok,” I responded to her request thinking for a minute before a song that fit the mood came to mind. “Ok I got a song but I don’t have…wait hold on I’m gonna try something,”

“Try what?”

“If it works you’ll see. HEY PINKIE!”

A second passed before the front door was kicked in and Pinkie jumped into the room landing on her back hooves, her front ones in the air. “OH YEAH!”

“Hey Pinkie thanks for making that work. You wouldn’t happen to—“

“Here’s a ukulele you can borrow,” I simply raised an eyebrow, I knew she could be weird but I didn’t think she would out think me and give me the exact instrument I needed.

“Ok I know I might regret this. But how?”

“Oh I read ahead silly, it’s been so long that I just couldn’t help myself,” her cheery smile didn’t help that her words were very cryptic. “And you know how the rest goes, I got this from my—”

“Your secret stash of ukuleles, in case of music times?” I interrupted her this time, a feat not easily managed. I thought myself to be funny at that moment before Pinkie suddenly changed. She was still smiling, but it was very unsettling.

“Now listen here buster, reading ahead and interrupting ponies lines is my shtick, I know you’re a fan but there are some lines you don’t cross ok?” She brought her face real close to mine, shadows danced across her muzzle giving her and even more menacing look than before.

“Yes ma’am,” I saluted and prayed that she accepted.

“Well okie dokey then. Sorry about that Danny but sometimes writers think they’re so hot and try to circumvent some normal stuff, but they should just let known jokes and dialogue play out, and stop trying to force the funny. Anyways have a nice rest of the day…until we come back for your surprise that is,” and with her last words she closed the door behind her, leaving me and Twilight who was still in my lap, probably with the same look I had on my face.

“Well that was…interesting,” I said adjusting my hold on the small ukulele as I looked down at Twilight.

“Pinkie Pie sure can be...I don’t even know how to describe what just happened.” She look up at me with a confused look.

“How about we just forget about it right now and I’ll make with the singing.” I said while I tuned the ukulele.

“That sounds like a good idea. So why did you need a ukulele for this?”

“Well it's technically not the instrument for the song but I think for a quiet setting like this it will work just fine, now hush,” I told her as I slowly strummed the strings back and forth. It was a nice slow melody

Hold me close and hold me fast
This magic spell you cast
This is la vie en rose

When you kiss me, heaven sighs
And though I close my eyes
I see la vie en rose

When you press me to your heart
I'm in a world apart
A world where roses bloom

And when you speak, angels, sing from above
Everyday words seem
To turn into love songs

Give your heart and soul to me
And life will always be
La vie en rose

At some point during the song I tilted my head all the way back and let it rest on the back of the couch. “So how was that?” I asked Twilight, bringing my head back and looking down. Her neck was upturned and she was smiling up at me, it was a nice calm smile, the kind which had me have fall for her in the first place.

“It was perfect.” she said, lifting herself up a bit and giving me a peck on the cheek.

“There anything else you want while we’re like this?” I asked.

“Well…how about you tell me a story. Oh and a massage please while you're at it,”

“Ok do you want me to pick a book?”

“No, tell me a story about something from your world. Please?” she looked at me with those large adorable eyes of hers.

“Fine fine, you know you don’t have to use those eyes of yours, I would gladly do it anyway,” I chuckled.

“Yeah but you love it anyway,”

“Well that is true. But anyway hush for a second and let me think,” I poked her in the side, making her giggle a bit. “Wait a minute,” I poked her again, listening to her giggle.

“Um Dan what are you doing?” she giggled on for a bit after I poked her.

“Just getting my inspiration for my story. Now get comfy because this is gonna be a good story,”

She shuffled around on my lap, adjusting the blanket and making sure she was comfortable. “Ok ready,”

“OK I’ll set the scene. Our story begins in, the city of Townsville!”

“The city of Townsville?”

“Yes not to be mistaken with the town of Citiesville, now no interrupting,” I silenced her with a pinch. Earning me a small “eep!” and a bit of a glare.

“Anyways. The city of Townsville, is in big trouble. Day after day, crime, lawlessness, and evil are running rampant. Its citizens have lost all hope. They are utterly helpless and in desperate need of a true hero. But who? Is there no one who can who can help this forsaken town and make it a better place? Fear not fair listeners, for there is a man, a man of science. A forward thinking man who looks back. Back to a sweeter time, when there was a spice to life and everything was nice. I must profess sir, that this man holds the ingredients to Townsville’s salvation. This man known simply as, The Professor.” I started. All the while I used my magic to create some illusions and show what was happening. Pausing for a second I looked down at Twilight who was enraptured by my simple illusions. I smiled a bit before I continued


“Sugar, spice, and everything nice. These were the ingredients chosen to make the perfect little girls. But Professor Utonium accidently added and extra ingredient to the concoction, Chemical X. Thus Blossom, Bubble, and Buttercup were born! Using their ultra super powers, they dedicated their lives to fighting crime, and the force of evil. And so for the very first time, the day is saved. Thank to, The Powerpuff Girls!” I finished the story, letting Twilight gaze as my illusions faded off.

She clapped to it even though she didn’t have to, and I just took the praise silently. “Wow Dan that was incredible!”

“Yeah and it’s technically only the beginning of the story.”

“You mean there’s more?” Her eyes grew wide.

“Yeah and maybe one day I will show you but not right now. We have company coming soon. How are you feeling?” I put my hand on her forehead again, she felt cooler than she had during the early morning, she stopped sneezing and blowing her nose a lot, and she wasn’t coughing as much.

“Oh I feel loads better. So is this surprise for our friends anything like you showed me?” she asked

“Well it’s something like that, although possibly a bit better. You have a projector here right?”

“Yes, we keep it in the basement with the other equipment.”

“Cool I need to grab it and start setting everything up,” I lifted her off my lap and got up rubbing the muscles which had gotten a bit sore since I had been sitting for a long time. A quick knock at the door told me I should hurry up. “Twilight can you let everypony in so I can set up?” she responded with a nod which allowed me to slip into the basement. “Jarvis helmet up we need to do some things, and quickly,”

Coming out of the basement I saw a group of almost twenty ponies waiting for me. “Jeez I didn’t expect this many ponies to show up. Oh well when life give you lemons,” I said as I moved around everypony and set up the projector.

“Hey Dan why do you have your helmet on?” Rainbow asked as she hovered around me.

“Well it’s part of the surprise. Well I know that you guys do have movies, and my people also have movies so I decided to share one of my favorites with you guys. And Jarvis hear makes that possible,” I told her before taking the helmet off. I pulled out a plug from inside the helmet and attached it to the projector. “So you see Jarvis is already connected to my phone and now I can basically use the projector to show stuff from my phone. Trust me this is gonna be awesome, just find a good seat,” I patted her on the head, ruffling her mane a little. She shook it off and grinned at me before flying off.

“Ok everybody grab a seat, I’m almost ready. Oh and btw the couch is reserved for me, Twilight ,and the crusaders,” I heard a couple of cheers and a couple of grumbles. I set everything up and then took my seat back on the couch and Twilight took her place in my lap again. Pinkie had generously provided everyone with snacks, I myself had a large tub of popcorn. “OK everyone, this film is a favorite of mine, get ready for, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Jarvis start the film please, oh and somepony turn out the lights,”
As the projector whirled to life I looked around the room at everypony, Pinkie snuggled up next to Flintlock whose face was more red than black. Crystal Clear and Scribble page were sitting together. And above us on a cloud Rainbow Dash and Swift Gale were sitting kind of close.

I smiled as the soft jazz saxophone stopped after the title and the merry melodic music came up.

“Really Dan, you’re showing us a cartoon?” Rarity who was in front of me turned around to ask.

“Just wait and watch Rarity, wait and watch,” I smirked.


“That…was the best movie ever…of all time,” Rainbow Dash said as the credits rolled. Everyone chittered and chattered, and I sat there with a smile on my face. Besides this being a huge success it had been a very good day and I was glad it hadn’t gone the other day with Twilight being sick.

“Alright everypony it’s getting dark and I reckon we ought to put the youngins to sleep,” Applejack pointed at not only the Crusaders; who were all curled up around each other, but to Spike who was asleep upon the dinosaurs back, and also Pinkie and Flintlock who were leaning against each other while snoring in tandem.

I helped get everypony situated and out the door. I waved goodbye before I helped Twilight with spike and put a blanket over Titanus. After getting myself ready for bed I made sure all the lights and things were off before I got to the bedroom.

“You know I’ve got to say Dan you really handled everything really well today,” Twilight said from the bed, her head resting on a pillow.

“Well at least one of us has to have grace under pressure,” I joked.

“Oh ha ha very funny, hurry up and get in bed you must be tired after today,”

“Yeah a little bit, are you going to be back to one hundred percent tomorrow?”

“Well I believe if I remember right, one of the laws of thermodynamics states that you can’t get one hundred percent efficiency out of any heat machine so I think that would be impossible. I’d say that I’ll be back to around ninety maybe ninety five percent,” she said smiling.

“Well thanks professor but it’s way too late for a lesson. Let’s get some sleep,” I got into the bed and hugged her close. “Goodnight Twilight.”

“Goodnight Dan,” she answered. The last thing I saw was her horn sparking and lighting up slightly. I didn’t think anything of it, even though I could feel her magic touch me briefly. The last thing I felt was her softness and a weird tingling sensation covering my body as I fell asleep.


View Online


I woke up stretching. my limbs felt a bit stiff, as if I had tried to sleep in a smaller, curled up position. I opened my eyes and guessed with my cloudy vision that it might have been somewhere around nine in the morning from how bright everything seemed. I looked over at Twilight and saw nothing but some kind of shade of pink. At least I think it was pink; sometimes I really hated my color blindness, or to be more specific, color vision deficiency. I blinked a couple of times to clear my vision, and when it did I could feel my eyes widen at the sight. Normally I love waking up to see Twilight next to me, but usually she was a small lavender colored pony. This morning, however, I was not staring at a small lavender colored pony. I was staring at a naked woman.

I slowly got up, trying not to disturb anything. I disregarded the fact that my body still felt weird. Taking a quick look around, I saw that I was still in Twilight’s room, in Ponyville, in Equestria, on Equis. For a split second I thought that maybe I was on Earth waking up from a crazy dream, drunken haze, or drug coma.

I slowly looked at the woman, but could already tell it was Twilight. The hair was a dead giveaway. It was a shade of lavender with a pink streak in the front. I felt myself smile as my gaze moved from her hair to her face. Her skin was slightly pale, probably to relate to how much time she spent inside. Her nose was cute, like it was made for a pair of reading glasses. The face she made as she slept was cute; slender cheeks, soft lips.

I kept looking down, and that’s when I ran into a problem. My gaze moved from her chin to her neck, and then to her chest. My brain stopped and did a double take, my eyes blinking to make sure I was staring at what I thought I was staring at. I was staring at the semi-covered bosom of Twilight Sparkle. Part of me wanted to stop looking, but another part was fighting, telling my conscience that this was a once in a lifetime chance. It took a while before my mind made itself up and reached out to try and cover her up more.

I reached out and grasped the covers, but stopped and felt shocked again at what my eyes were seeing. My hand wasn’t grabbing the covers; instead, there was a hoof. I stared at it for a while before I finally summoned the courage to move and watch it move with me. I moved it closer to me, but underestimated the speed and hit myself in the face. As I winced, I felt my balance go and I tumbled backwards off the bed.

I felt the pain spread through my body, but it felt much different than usual. Before I tried to get up and open my eyes, I started thinking and talking to myself. “Okay Dan, obviously this is going to be another exciting day in Ponyville. Now from the looks of things, I’ve probably turned into a pony and Twilight has turned into a human.” One part of my mind was assessing the situation.

“And she’s completely hot!” And the other part was playing Devil’s Advocate.

“Yes that’s true, but she’s also completely naked.”

“She’s naked most of the time, and you’ve never seemed to have any problem with it before.”

“Well usually her… 'bits' aren’t…ya know, visible,”

“Oh, so you’re being specist and sexist now?”

“No, it’s just that if I get those feelings while I’m human it’s easier to hide the… you know… while wearing clothes, and not being a pony who doesn’t exactly know how to control or hide it.”

“You know what?” I imagined the other half of my mind pausing, thinking, and imagining what I was saying, and then at last I saw a little imaginary light bulb pop over his head.

“Oh…oh OOOHHH! Ok I get it now. Yeah that is kind of a problem. So you’re just trying to make sure that-"

"Yes. I don’t want her to wake up to see a pony she’s never seen before, standing over her with… well you know.”

“Well alright then. I’ll let you get back to your plan. Have fun with that,” was the last thing my conscience said before I moved back to the bed and pulled the covers over Twilight. After that, I moved to the foot of the bed where Spike lay in his little bed.

“Spike…” I poked him once and waited, hoping it wouldn’t take much for me to wake him up. While poking him a bit more, I looked in the mirror that was close by to get a good look at myself. My fur was some shade of green, my mane was still looked to be some shade of red, my eyes were their normal blue, and my body didn’t look to be on the Big Mac or Jonagold level, but I’d say I would be somewhere in between them and Fancy Pants.

“Hmm what’s goin’ on Dan? Why do I need to get up?” Finally, after a lot of poking, Spike woke up, sat up and slowly rubbed his eyes.

“Okay Spike, now you know that a lot of things happen to us here in Ponyville, and it looks like today is no exception. Now I’m counting on you to not freak out and stay quiet when you see me."

“Dan I don’t have a clue what you would mean by-” He stopped when he opened his eyes, and instead of seeing my shins he saw my own blue ones. “Dan…”

“Yeah Spike?” I answered.

“You’re a pony.”

“Yes Spike,” I answered again.

“So if I follow correctly, then if you’re a pony, Twilight has turned into a human?” he asked.

“Wow, that’s some pretty good logic there Spike,” I complimented him.

“Well I have lived with Twilight for most of my life. Learning how to do some things was inevitable. But I have to say that you’re taking this very well.” Spike got out of his bed and stretched.

“Well I did have a mini freak-out when I first saw I had a hoof instead of a hand, but I had to stop it quickly or risk my freak-out becoming a part of Twilight’s bigger freak-out,” I told him. We chuckled a bit before the sound of Twilight stirring in bed stopped us. As our eyes met, I could tell we were both afraid of what could happen if she woke up right now. As she rolled onto her other side and settled down, Spike and I both let out a sigh of relief.

"Well that was pulse raising. You also turned off her alarm clock right?” Spike asked as I felt my pulse stop and me eyes widen.

“Alarm clock?” were the only words I could manage to squeak out before Murphy’s Law set in and the same device we feared went off, the shrill tone of the bells sounded out. I watched as Twilight brought her arm up from it’s place on the bed and then down on the clock. The bells stopped and all was quiet in the room as Twilight rolled onto her back and slowly rose. Her hair was a mess and the blanket I had pulled over to cover her slowly began to fall as she sat more upright.

“Uh… hey Twi. Good morning. Sleep well?” I asked, my voice shaky.

“Mmmhm, I sure did,” she began as she stretched. “And I feel a lot better, too.”

“Oh, well that’s good to hear.” I couldn’t find a way to delicately approach the subject. I looked for Spike, but noticed that the door was open slightly; he must have slipped out when I was panic stricken. That was pretty quick thinking on his part.

“I mean, I feel so much better that I think that today is going to be just perfect!” She still hadn’t open her eyes to see the weird predicament we were in.

“Well you say that but…”

“But what?”

“Uh Twi, there’s really no easy way to explain this without you opening your eyes first. But when you do, prepare for a surprise.”

“Okay, but I don’t get wh-” She stopped as she opened her eyes before they settled onto me. She stared at me for a while before she looked to herself. The look of shock on her face was about what I expected. I just hoped what I thought would come next wouldn’t happen.

“Twi?” I said, triggering the reaction I wished against. She screamed, and I couldn’t tell if it was louder because of my new ears or her new lungs, but boy was it loud.

“Well that was far worse than expected. Maybe her human lungs are better than her normal ones,” I could barely hear myself say. My ears were ringing, like someone had just set off a flashbang.

“Wha- what’s going on. And who are you?” she said, shakingly pointing a fist at me, and then staring as she realized it wasn’t a hoof, but a hand.

“Well, seeing as you’ve fully turned into a human, I’ll leave it to you to guess who I am sweetheart.” I got back to my feet and slowly moved towards the bed, never allowing my eyes to leave hers.

As her breathing became steadier, I could figuratively see the gears in her mind turning. She squinted at me and then, as her eyes widened, she managed to stutter out “Dan... is that you?”

“The one and only. It seems like we can never just have a nice normal day. The universe always has to throw us a curveball, doesn't it?” I responded, taking my time to walk towards the bed; I hadn’t gotten used to walking on all fours yet.

“How are you being so calm about this? This is way beyond anything that’s happened before! We’ve switched species!” It was funny seeing the slight blur she made when she flailed her arms above her.

“Well one of us has to be calm at the moment. Imagine if our friends came in right now to both of us freaking out. It would cause a chain reaction of freak outs that might lead to the destruction of at least a couple things in ponyville. So I would like to try to avoid that, okay?” I laid out my reasoning and hoped that she would accept it.

“Okay, I guess that makes sense,” she answered.

“Well that’s good. We should get ready. I’m pretty sure everyone heard that scream and is on their way here right now,” I explained to her as I started to head for the door, but I felt like I was forgetting something.

“Okay, I’ll join you,” I heard her say and start to get out of the bed. And that’s when it hit me, again, that she was still stark naked in her human form.

“Wait!” I managed to spin around on a dime and not fall over, my eyes practically bulging from my skull as I looked at my girlfriend in all her naked glory.

“What is it?” She looked at me confused, probably not realising because she was always naked.

“You’re… naked.” I put heavy emphasis on that word, hoping it would click in her mind quickly and we could save ourselves some embarrassment.

“Yeah, but I’m always naked,” she said, and for the first time in my life I facehoofed.

“Yeah, I know, but that was when you were a pony. Now you’re human and you have no fur and you’re more… exposed,” I said as I kept moving my hoof around even though I couldn’t make any specific gestures with it.

I watched as Twilight thought about it, looking from me and then down to the rest of her body. She did this about three times before she gasped and her face turned beet red, which was so cute and adorable.

“Ah! I’m naked!” she finally exclaimed and started trying to cover herself up, much to my amusement. My grin quickly faded when she looked back at me with a frown. “And just exactly what are you looking at?”

Even with all the fur on my body, I felt like I was inside a freezer. “Well uh… you said yourself that you’re always naked?” I squeaked out the last word and tried to brace myself for whatever was going to happen.

It took her all of two seconds to grab the thing closest to her, hurl it at me, and scream “PERVERT!” all in one motion.

For never really being athletic, she sure had good aim, because she hit me right on the snout. Eyes closed and backpedaling, I tried to get away as she threw more things at me. Unfortunately, I never thought about the distance to the stairs while as a pony. I took one more step backwards and found nothing but air; once my rear leg went, gravity brought the rest of me with it. I felt each stair on my jaw on the way down. I bet it looked comical to anybody watching, so thank goodness nobody could see it. I was content to just lay at the bottom of the stairs, after my body had slunk all the way down, a slight pain in my jaw as it had personally greeted every stair on the way down.

“Dan, you okay man? Are you hurt?” I turned my head slightly enough to see Spike standing nearby.

“Just my pride, stomach, and jaw,” I said, waiting till all the pain faded away. “Hey, do me a favor Spike, make sure you tell me when the girls get here so I can pull myself together.”

“Uuhh...” was the only sound I got in response.

“They’re already here, aren’t they?” I asked, probably knowing the answer.

“We got here five minutes after the scream, darling. It was very hard to miss something that loud.” Rarity’s voice was the first I heard as I lamented waking up first and setting off this chain reaction of events. After spotting them sitting near the kitchen, I finally got up and made my way over to them, watching as they looked me over.

“Well I’ll be a monkey’s uncle. Somethin’ strange always has to happen to you, doesn’t it Dan?” Applejack seemed mystified at my new appearance.

“Wow, I gotta say Dan, I’ve seen some weird things; Nightmare Moon, The Wonderbolts getting knocked out by Rarity that one time, Discord, actually meeting the Wonderbolts. But I gotta say you’re climbing up that ladder pretty fast big guy,” Rainbow said as she flew around me. “Although I guess I can’t call you big guy if you’re about our size, huh?”

“Yes, Rainbow, cause I’m doing all of this for your amusement,” I told her as I watched Rarity do the same thing.

“Well you are a bit of an oddity already dear, and you turning into a pony certainly doesn't help your case, but I do have to say I never thought you would have this kind of color scheme.” I could basically see the gears in her head turning, as she thought out clothing ideas for me. Hopefully Twilight’s arrival would take her mind off of me. “It’s rare to see anypony with a viridian coat and a violet mane, but I think you can pull it off, Dan.”

“Although I think the more precise name is Thioindigo Violet, Rarity,” Pinkie chirped in randomly, causing another one of those times where we just stared blankly at her. “What? I was bored at Rarity’s one time so I looked through all her color swatches. All five thousand three hundred and thirty one of them!” She bounced around, happy at knowing exactly how many color swatches Rarity had.

“Well okay, I guess it’s good to know exactly what colors I am. I would have just said red and green anyways. Colorblind, remember?” I said, thinking about the first time Twilight corrected me on exactly what color her fur was. “Well what do you think, Fluttershy? We’ve already voiced our own opinions. How about yours?” I looked at her as she went through one of her normal routines on trying to get rid of unwanted attention before caving in.

“I’m more curious to see what happened to Twilight, and what she thinks about all this,” she answered. Weirdly enough, I was thinking the same thing.

“I’m thinking that these clothes don’t fully fit,” I heard Twilight say and turned around to watch her walk down the stairs. She had gotten a bit used to walking on two legs in her anthro form, but we had never tried stairs. I watched as she basically hugged the wall as she slowly came down, certainly not the picture of grace she sometimes presented, or that I at least daydreamed in my head about.

“Oh my gosh… Twilight, you’re not purple anymore.” Rainbow was the first to blurt something out.

“What? That’s the first thing that say? That I’m not purple anymore? Not how I’ve fully transformed into a human, or how I have actual feet instead of hooves, or that I don’t have fur or my tail, or how I don’t even have a horn anymore? But that I’m not purple? Seriously?!” It seemed that in her slight rage, Twilight’s motor skills got better and she walked very quickly up to Rainbow Dash, looking straight at her, nose to snout.

“Umm… yes?” She smiled nervously.

Twilight let out a sigh as she pinched the bridge of her nose. I wondered if she instinctually knew how to do it or remembered watching me do it. “Somepony, anypony, please say something else,” she groaned.

“Um Twilight.. I think you look very nice. Please don’t be upset.” Fluttershy walked up to her and nuzzled one of her hands. Twilight broke into a small smile and ran her hand over Fluttershy’s mane. It was a pretty cute sight.

“Man, how come my Pinkie Sense didn’t pick this up? It’s just so Freaky Friday-ish, don’t you think so, Dan?” Pinkie asked as she appeared right next to me.

“Yeah it kinda… did you just steal my joke and reference?” I questioned her, thinking about how Pinkie basically stole the words and thought right out of my head.

“Oh don’t be silly Danny. You can’t steal jokes, that’s not funny at all,” she answered and hopped off.

I stood there for a moment, trying to think of something to say. My mouth opening and closing until Applejack waved her hoof in front of my face.

“It’s easier if you just stop thinking about it altogether, Dan. I think we might have a more important thing to deal with right now.” She pointed back over to Twilight who was now standing again, but this time with Rarity circling her like a shark.

“Now tell me again dear: Why are you wearing Dan’s clothing?” she asked.

“Well, because I was naked. Not naked in the pony way, but naked in the human way and-”

“Yes, I get that dear. You don’t want to be exposed and possibly have somepony’s prying eyes on you.” She shot me a look at the end of the sentence. “But why Dan’s clothes and not some of the nicer things I made you?”

“Because they wouldn’t be practical in thi-” I started to answer, but Rarity shot me an angry glare.

“Well Dan is kinda right Rarity. It’s not that I don’t like your clothes, but they don’t work for this kind of situation, and I needed some casual clothes to wear and Dan’s are-” Twilight backed me up a little before Rarity interrupted her as well.

“Wait! I know what must be done! Everyone to the boutique! I’m going to make Twilight some appropriate clothing instead of these… things,” she said with enthusiasm.

“Hey!” I said, trying to defend my clothes.

“Is for ponies dear, so go eat some and come along. This is not up for discussion,” she said, starting to push Twilight and everyone out the door. Usually I had been able to shake off most of the looks ponies threw me, but I guess now that I was literally one of them, it wasn’t so easy.

“Spike, you coming? Rarity is about to go all Project Runway on Twilight,” I called out to him.

“Dude, I have no idea what that means,” he said.

“It means Rarity is going to spend a good amount of time making clothes for Twilgiht and a lot of us are going to be bored while we wait for it to be over. You know how Rarity is.”

“Yeah, she’s awesome.”

“Whatever, lover boy. Now hop on if you want a ride. Oh, and did you send a letter to the princesses?” Spike nodded and climbed onto my back, then we headed out the door to catch up with the girls.

Spike and I caught up with the group just as we were about to hit the town center. Immediately, all eyes fell on Twilight, the new human, and me, the never before seen pony. It took all of Ponyville five minutes to converge on us. After satiating a good number of questions, our little mob made it’s way to Carousel Boutique, and only the girls were allowed inside.

“Well so far this has been a fun day,” I said. I was playing a game of checkers with Flintlock, who had brought the game with him for some particular reason.

“I’ll say. You get turned into a pony, and now you’re mare- I mean girlfriend is getting a clothing makeover because one of her friends doesn’t like your filthy rags,” he said, never breaking eye contact with the board as he took his turn. I wondered if he could feel my stare on him.

“Flintlock, do you ever listen to what you say?” Scribble Page asked from nearby where he was reading a book. Thunderlane, Big Mac, Jonagold, and Snowflake were nearby, hoof wrestling each other. All of the others were on patrol duty.

“Sometimes, but not all the time. King me. Hey Dan, have you tried using your magic?” he answered the question, moved his piece, and asked another question all at the same time.

“Actually no, I haven’t… Does anybody feel that?” There was some kind of presence near by.

“It is really nice to see how much you care for the ponies in your dreams. It keeps me interested in you. I will say in advance, though, I am sorry for future events. Some things truly are out of my control. But enough about that for now, it is time to wake up. You have a very big day ahead of you, Dan,” a voice sounded out from nowhere, and my vision went white, then black..

My eyes opened and I found myself staring at a familiar ceiling. “Wow, now that was weird,” I growled, the dream still fresh in my mind. I turned to my right and saw Twilight, who was still herself. I sighed in relief, seeing that she was still the same. I reached out and gently started stroking her mane. I knew she was awake, because after doing it for a while, she started nuzzling into my hand.

“Good morning, Twilight,” I chuckled.

“Mmm morning,” she returned, smiling at me as she opened her eyes. “What are you so happy about this morning?” she managed to say without yawning.

“Had this weird dream where something happened. I turned into a pony, and you turned into a human.”

“Oh really? How did that go?”

“About as well as could be expected,” I told her. “Man, this feels so nice. You, me, this comfy bed. I could spend the whole day like this,” I told her, making her giggle.

“I bet you could, you lazy bum. But unfortunately for you, we have things to do so-” The end of her sentence was cut off by a noise which shook the whole tree. Both of us quickly jumped out of bed and made for the door.

“What was that, an explosion?!” I shouted as we got to the door.

“No, a normal explosion wouldn't be able to shake the tree like that. It’s gotta be something bigger. Something huge like-” she started as the door swung open, and at once we both stepped out, our eyes turned to the skies as we both saw what was causing the problem.

“A volcano erupting?” I finished her statement in disbelief as, off in the distance, I saw smoke and fire coming from the top of a mountain.

“But that’s not possible! It’s literally not possible! I’ve studied those mountains before, and none of them are even remotely close to being a natural dormant volcano!”

And then, like some kind of answer, a powerful voice rang out from the volcano.


“Something tells me that that isn’t natural either, and it doesn’t sound very nice… Is it to late to stay in bed all day?"


View Online


A pony walked upon a path covered in shadow. Although Celestia’s sun was on its early way into the sky, it almost seemed as though the light purposely avoided the place. The pony on the path didn’t really care anyways; he wanted to be in the dark for now, as well as alone. His eyes looked downward at his hooves and an angry frown adorned his muzzle. It was as if he was just walking, not caring where the path took him.

“Stupid. Stupid friends, stupid city, stupid ponies, stupid everything,” he muttered to himself. He continued to walk down the path that seemed to lead nowhere, simply muttering to himself. Unfortunately he wasn’t fully watching where he was walking and his hoof caught a small cleft, and he ended up going face first into the dirt. As the small dust cloud he created settled, the pony let out a yell. If any creature had been around, they would have heard a mixture of anger and sadness as he rose to his hooves, bucking and swing wildly at the air.

“STUPID STUPID STUPID! It’s all their fault! All I was doing was trying to live my life and they ruined it!” he screamed, small rivulets of tears rolling down his face. “I should change?! Why the hell should I change? Everything I was doing was going great!” The pony stopped to breathe, his chest rapidly moving back and forth as he tried to control his breathing. Once he calmed down, he started to talk again.

“That was until that… freak! Stupid human just shows up and starts messing things up. Who does he think he is? I know though. He’s just an outsider messing in everypony’s business. What gives him the right? He… he’s the douchebag, that’s what he is.” The pony chuckled.

Yeah it really sounds like it,” the pony froze as a voice came out of nowhere. In a panic, the pony looked around, finding himself in some sort of cave. It was dark, but it was like the darkness was an actual thing, not just the lack of lighting.

“Wh-who’s there?” the stallion stammered

Well that’s a tough question to answer, but I think you should explain yourself first, since this is my cave after all.” The voice’s answer did nothing to calm the pony.

“Look, I don’t want any trouble. It was an accident I ended up here.” The stallion was too terrified to even move.

Well I believe you on that. I believe it’s actually impossible for any being to be able to look for and find this place. But you weren’t looking, were you? Too preoccupied with something else on your mind, something that fills you with anger and hate. What if I told you I could help you with whatever your problem is?” The stallion froze again, but not out of fear. This time it was out of curiosity.

“Why would you want to help me?” the stallion wondered out loud.

Boredom mostly, I can’t tell you how long it’s been since anything has been here,

“Well…hypothetically speaking, if I wanted to take you up on your deal, how might I?” The stallion took a couple steps forward his fear subsiding as ideas ran through his head.

Just come forward and you’ll see,” the voice said to the stallion as the darkness around him seemed to part as if it were water.

The stallion took several slow steps forward, his hooves making a very soft ‘clop’ as they touched the stone beneath him. It didn’t take him long to figure out what the voice was referring to. His eyes widened as he came upon a monolith of stone. It stretched from the floor to the ceiling of the cave, the darkness seemed to be coming from its cold pure black surface. The stallion felt his chest get tight as he looked at it, as if it was giving of some kind of energy that was making him uncomfortable, but it did nothing to stop his eyes from looking over every inch of the object. As his eyes adjusted to it he saw symbols, oh so many symbols that he had never seen before, they certainly weren’t written in Equish.

It does have a nice look to it doesn’t it?” the voice snapped the stallion out of his trance. “And if you want some help to deal with whatever your problem is all you have to do is touch it, just set your hoof flat upon its surface,” The pony looked at the intimidating thing before him, he wasn’t acting mystified, this time he was studying it, thinking about the choice he could make and weighing out all his options.

“What’s the catch?” the stallion tried his best to sound tough.

You shall only feel a small amount of pain for a small time. That is all, I promise,” the voice told the stallion. The stallion stood there for a time, thinking and thinking, he rubbed his hoof against his chin so much that his skin felt raw.

After minutes passed the stallion moved closer to the monolith and brought his hoof up. “Alright, I accept,” He said as his hoof came flat against the cool surface. Immediately the stallion felt energy coming off the rock and onto him. At first it was like getting struck with lighting, His body tensed as the energy surged quickly through him lighting up all his nerves, feeling like he was being shaken to the core. After a few seconds it passed and the stallion took deep breaths and noticed the pain was gone. He guessed the worst was over but then glanced to his hoof and noticed something was off. His hoof was still touching the monolith and he couldn’t move it. In fact, save for his neck, he couldn’t feel or move anything. It was then he noticed the heat, looking to where his hoof was there slowly started to glow a circle around where his hoof was.

“Wha-what’s going on?” He yelled, scared as the glow grew brighter and the heat hotter.

Oh this? This is all part of the process, you freed me. Unfortunately ever since I was sealed here I lost and have forgotten my material form. Now being made out of darkness, hatred, and some various other things is cool but it’s not strong. No, to truly do what I want I need a body, and thankfully you are offering up yours,"

“B-but that’s not what we agreed!” the stallion began to panic, he watched as the glow no longer stayed on the monolith but started to crawl up his hoof. Not only that but the monolith itself started melting, dripping around him, and encircling him like the molten dripping had a mind of their own.

We agreed that I would help you with your problem. But I have bigger ideas, I see a bigger picture than you do. Equestria is so big and fortunately I can use you to bring back a good amount of my power, so much hatred in that little head of yours. But I’ll tell you this, in my destruction and subjugation of Equestria it is most likely possible that I will fulfill you petty ambitions. I know it sounds like I tricked you, do you have anything to say about it?” The voice finished talking.

Unfortunately the stallion couldn’t respond, his body was slowly being encased by something he couldn’t figure out. And even if he could his mind was too preoccupied with his impending demise. Memories played out in his mind all the choices he made and everything he could have and should have done.

“,” was the only noises he could make as tears slowly ran down his cheeks.

The voice chuckled as it behold the stallion’s last actions. “I’ll take that as a no,” it said before all the darkness and molten rock suddenly converged on the stallion.


I stood there next to Twilight as we both looked at the mountain, I felt my pulse rise as I watched something slowly make its way out of the opening of the volcano in the distance. It was large and certainly looked like it didn’t want to make my day easier. After it escaped the mouth of the volcano it slowly started to make its way down, right in the direction of where we were standing.

“Dan?” Twilight’s voice broke me out of my trance at looking at the figure that looked like it was going to cross our path. Looking at her I could see she was worried but it was such a mix of things.

“Oh good looks like you’re the same way,” she said before she managed to smile a bit.


“Your face, I can see that you’re worried but there’s more to it than that. I guess we’re thinking the same thing huh?” she said smiling like the usual unicorn I knew.

“I guess I’m that easy to read, huh?” I laughed even though something possibly evil made its way towards us. “What do you say that we go get, whatever that thing is, a welcome party ready?” I said making sure to give air quotes.

“But why...oh right, air quotes, I got it. I’ll go gather the girls and get the elements ready,”

“Send a letter to the princesses as well, if they don’t know about it already, I’d think it be a good idea to have some heavy firepower. And while you’re doing that I’ll take the squad and Titanus to head that thing off,” I told her as both of us quickly walked back into the tree house. Twilight grabbed some parchment and began to write while I assembled my armor and grabbed my dinosaur. Before I left I went over to Twilight and gave her a quick hug to comfort her.

I took to the sky, leaving Titanus to catch up. Jonagold met me outside of the barracks, I could hear a commotion on the inside, I guess everyone was prepping their gear.

“Guess you know about the explosion , the volcano, and the weird apparently evil being coming out of it and coming towards the town?”

“Wasn’t that hard not to know when you can see, hear and feel it,” Jona chuckled. “So you’re marefriend getting those the girls together and getting ready to blast whatever this thing is?”

“Yup I’m also calling in some heavy fire support from Canterlot. Not that I don’t think the Elements can’t handle it but…this seems different from the other evil things that attack Equestria.”

“I can understand that, I’ve never seen anything turn a mountain into a volcano either. Feeling nervous?”

“Just a little,” I said as the commotion on the inside stopped. I waited and watched as the door slammed open and the rest of the squad slowly made their way out and formed a line. When we were in the war games I didn’t get to see a great deal of everypony’s personal armor but now I could get a better look.

Swift’s was very traditional, armor plating that covered a good portion of her but allowed for flight and good maneuverability. Attached to her wings were two swords; one onyx black, and the other a very bright white.

Flintlock looked like patchwork, but with good reason. On every different piece of him was something that looked like he could put together into some kind of explosive. He kept looking himself over, making sure that he had everything.

Shadow came out wearing a robe and hood, I thought it weird but as he got closer i saw there was a bit more to it. Chainmail lined a good bit of the outside and some plating covered his legs. Maybe it was hard to see it from a distance since the glaive strapped to his back did grab attention first.

Everyone else came out in the same fashion. Storm Breaker with his bow and additional crossbow. Shadow Dancer Came out in a cloak, stealth being his game I didn’t want to say that it might not hold up against a monster that was possibly made out of part lava. Lore Keeper came out with various scrolls and magic accessories attached to him, I could literally feel the power from some of them; having magic could be weird sometimes. Red Star’s armor looked like it was collecting energy with all these glowing red ports on it. Flash Bang had found a way to seal his name sake spell in some vials, and after tampering with a crossbow he basically invented Equestria’s first flash bang grenade and grenade launcher; if I got out of this I would have to talk to him about it. Scribble Page was the last out, All the way back when we were both in Canterlot, Swift had told him that he needed to work on his strength and he had taken that to heart. He had bulked up quite a bit, And while Lore Keeper was busy with the magic scrolls Scribble took it upon himself to borrow his Claymore.

Everypony lined up and stood still at attention, I stood slightly off to the side as Jonagold checked them all out. After he was done he walked back over to me and gave a slight nod, I took that as my cue to begin.

“Alright everyone, as you know early this morning, something decided to take this nice peaceful day and turn it on its head. As of right now some unknown entity is coming down from its newly created volcano home and headed in this general direction. Our mission at the moment is to be the welcome wagon. We are to intercept it, and find out if it hostile,”

“And if it is hostile?” Swift asked as Titanus’ loud foots signaled his arrival.

“Well that’s the reason I brought some heavy artillery. If the entity proves hostile till the elements as well as the Princesses arrive. This is strictly defense everybody. I do not want anybody taking any unnecessary risks. Is that understood?” I asked and was met with a bunch of head nods. “Alright then, let’s move out!” and with that well all headed to the outskirt of the town in the direction of where whatever it was should be coming towards us.

We all stood there in a field outside of Ponyville, our eyes on the Everfree Forest, and the smoke rising from it in the distance. Slowly the noises began to grow louder, and a shape began to become clearer. I could feel my hand shaking slightly, I kept flexing it as I tried to steady myself.

“Nervous?” I jumped slightly As Jonagold came up on my side and asked.

“That apparent?”

“You’re the only thing I know personally with hands, so it’s easier to notice when you’re doing so much with them,”

“Huh never thought about it that way. Well I guess I am, never been in a fight like this,”

“You lead troops before,”

“Yeah but there was no possibility of death then,”

“What about in the Coliseum?”

“Different kind of circumstances, though I can see your point. Guess I’m just hoping that Twilight, the girls, and the Princesses get here quick,”

“You think we can’t handle whatever’s coming?”

“I think we can handle it for a while, but defeat it? It literally blew the top off a mountain, even with Titanus I don’t think we can bring it down,”

“Nice to know you’re not under or overestimating us and yourself,” Swift dropped in between the two of us and pointed ahead of us. “I think it’s time we test your estimate, heads up,”

In my conversation I had barely noticed that our target had finally come into full view and was at the border of the forest. If I wasn’t trying to keep it together at the moment I think I would have let my jaw drop.

It was about as tall as the trees; those it hadn’t crushed or burned down on its way here. From what I could make out it looked very much like a centaur, body of a horse, torso of a human or minotaur, but it’s head was more like a pony’s or horse’s. but that’s where the similarities stopped. It’s “skin” if I could call it that seemed to mix and swirl. From what I could see on it, it looked to be combined of lava, rock, darkness, and something else I couldn’t identify. Besides its normal centaur like shape, tentacles waved in all directions from practically all parts of its body.

I looked at it’s head and as the colors of it’s skin moved and changed I noticed two things which I could only guess were its eyes. I watched as they slowly looked around and then either locked onto me or the place where I was standing.

Oh good finally some of the local populace…And something else?” it said slowly taking a couple of steps towards us. “Haven’t seen one of you before but you seem very familiar…oh you were the thing that he was talking about!” it pointed at me as it talked, making me feel kinda nervous.

“OK that’s definitely not what I expect to hear. Identify yourself!” I was caught off guard at first but tried to sound serious in front of this intimidating creature.

Ah, well I do have a name, but it has been so long I don’t know if it still strikes fear into the hearts of mortals or not,” I really didn't like the sound of that sentence. “Tell me little ponies, Does the name Tirek still inspire fear in your souls?

Taking a quick glance I saw Jonagold and Lore lock up, their eyes wide with fear. The others seemed to notice this and shifted in their stances slightly. I looked back at the creature, at least now I knew his name, maybe the princesses would recognize him.

Well at least I haven’t been completely forgotten, that means it will be easier to terrify all the creatures, all those who remember will be terrified again and I can terrify new mortals. Oh the fun I’m going to have,” he chuckled to himself.

“And what makes you think we are going to allow you to do that,” I said trying to seem intimidating to something much bigger than me.

Oh are you the first line of defense? I had hoped you were worshippers of mine…then again I can’t really recall if I ever had any of those. The memories of the pony I took are still in the way a little bit, for some reason it has to do with you,” he pointed at me not with his hands but with every single tentacle that was coming out of him, I didn’t take that as a good sign.

“What is that supposed to mean?” my heart raced a bit, I didn’t like the fact that numerous tentacles were still pointed at me.

Oh you shouldn’t worry about that, there’s nothing you can do about that. And I hate to sound cliché, but what you should really be worried about. IS THIS!!!” three tentacles launched forward with a good amount of speed.

I dodged right to avoid the first and a quick left hook sent the second tentacle crashing to my right. I jumped over the last tentacle and on the way down I grabbed my sword and impaled it through the tentacle into the ground. “Alpha squad, LIGHT HIM UP!” I shouted glaring at Tirek.

Flash Bang reacted first, horn glowing white a spell shot out towards Tirek, not knowing what to make of it and not appearing to be threatened by it he just stood there. When the spell reached inches from his face it went off. From behind my helmet I could get a better view without blinding myself. A magnificently bright explosion happened. Tirek reeled back from it his arms and a few tentacles waving in multiple directions Storm Breaker shot next, letting loose a couple of arrows from his bow, they moved fast, some of them hitting the tentacles waving around wildly. Seconds after finding their mark they exploded with magic energy.

WHY YOU IMPUDENT...!” Tirek bellowed, his tentacles stopped waving and pointed themselves at us.

“Jona, Swift, Scribble, Shadow’s on me! Hold the line!” I pulled my sword from the tentacle and watched it slither back before I raised my sword. I sidestepped one that came straight at me and sliced into it with my sword, I wasn’t sure if it even hurt Tirek seeing as how chopping into these tentacles didn’t seem to faze him. As I battled the one in front of me a shadow fell over me, I jumped away leaving my sword stuck. Another shadow fell on me but before I could react I heard a whoosh above me, Swift flew over my head and with a particularly hard flap the swords extended slightly off her wings, with her speed they easily started cutting through the tentacles as she flew circles around it.

While Swift attacked the tentacles in the sky and Jonagold, Scribble, and I were shoulder to shoulder, taking a shot at anything that came our way. Both Shadow Dancer and Shadow Flame were on both flanks watching and attacking any tentacles that went wide.

“Gah it’s like there’s no end to these things!” Scribble yelled as he brought the claymore down on another tentacle.

“Yeah and being made of lava doesn’t do us any favors either,” I punched a tentacle, my magic giving me some protection from the lava.

“ARGH!” I heard Jona scream behind me. Looking over I saw him kneeling clutching one of his hooves while a a tentacle aimed to impale him.

“JONA!” I blasted the tentacle, managing to basically disintegrate part of it. Rushing over managed to throw him over my shoulder. Using one hand to hold him and the other to keep blasting anything that came my way I shouted to everyone “Alright everybody fall back! LORE! Set up a shield on the double!” I kept looking between him and the tentacles.

“Dammit Sonofa- that really freaking hurts!” Jona growled. “One of those freaking things caught my leg, could feel the armor melting around my hoof, glad I managed to pull it out or I would been in more trouble than these damn burns. Thanks for the save Dan,” he said as we got closer to everyone else.

“No problem, you would have done the same for me,” I said placing him down on the ground. “Lore where are we on that shield?” I said as I saw the tentacles group up and head for us.

“Just one more and… got it!” he finished doing something with a scroll and energy exploded outward in a bubble. The tentacles hit it and bounced off, not able to get through as it kept expanding until it covered Titanus.

Oh so you have some tricks up your sleeve?” Tirek seemed impressed but I really wasn’t devoting any attention as to if he was being sarcastic or not.

“Lore how long will this hold?” I asked.

“A couple minutes at most if nothing too bad happens. We can get out and shoot from in here but nothing he shoots should be able to get in.” Lore answered as we both watched Tirek take a couple of whacks at the shield and even drop lava on it. I sighed inwardly as I watched it fall down the shield.

Well…I was hoping to use this of enemies of higher caliber,” I heard Tirek growl. “But since you put up a nice defense allow me show off a little offense,” he said as all his tentacles formed a half circle around him. Slowly little black balls began to from near the tip of each tentacle.

“Oh that does not look good,” Flintlock stated the obvious.

“Titanus,” I got his attention. “Get ready to fire on my word ok?” he responded with his usual slow nod, his eyes narrowing as he went back to watching Tirek.

The monster stuck his hands out, the dark balls of energy slowly moving and gathering where his hands were placed. Each orb melded together into a bigger one which doubled in size every time. “You should feel proud that you’ve made me at least this serious, I only use attacks like this on much more powerful foes,

Time seemed to slow down as I focused on him, his hands move back and I can feel myself tense up. My lips purse, ready to issue an order. I have to time it perfectly or we are going to be in a ton of trouble. His hands and arm extend and I barely see the energy in his hands flux before I shout.

“TITANUS NOW!!!” The ancient hears me, shoulder cannons already primed. I heard it before I could see it, but it was so good to see two huge twin burst of red energy fly over my head towards the attack coming at us.

I hit the ground hard on my back, I didn’t move for awhile as I lay there coughing. I opened my eyes to pretty much nothing but dust. I slowly got up making sure that I wasn’t injured. I made out a large shadow in the dust, the long protrusion making me think it was Titanus.

“Titanus, that you boy?” I called out, receiving a low roar, or groan, I wasn’t sure.

“Why are you asking about the heavily armored giant dinosaur and not us fragile little ponies?” Swift voice came from in front of me. After a couple of steps I found the Pegasus slowly getting to her feet.

“Because you hate it when I make you seem weak. Is everybody else ok?” I heard groans coming from all different directions, I could start making out ponies easier as the dust settled.

Well I don’t expect that to last really,” Tirek voice sounded like it came from right behind me. I jumped up and spun around, only to see a tentacle inches from me. It slammed into my chest. For the few seconds it touched me I could the intense heat from it spreading across my chest piece. The heat let off as I flew backwards. I hit what I could only guess was Titanus and crumpled into an upright position.

“DAN!” I could hear multiple shouts and the sounds of hooves coming towards me.

“Jarvis report,” I coughed taking a couple of strained deep breaths.

“Armor is at thirty five percent sir. I would advise not taking another hit like that, otherwise the armor will be structurally compromised,” the voice told me as I massaged my aching neck.

“Advised and noted, just try to keep it together for now,” I said looking up, most of the squad was around me and Tirek was slowly advancing, arms cross and I can only assume a smug grin on his face.

Well now this is much easier, I’ve got all of you together. Much easier to get rid of you this way. Did you pathetic little ponies and…whatever you are, honestly think you had a chance of defeating me?” I looked up into his face, trying to think of some kind of plan to make sure we all didn’t die here and noticed a couple of dots in the sky.

Normally I would have tried to play it off with a poker face, but this time I couldn’t keep it in. I smiled and started chuckling which soon turned into loud laughter.

Oh well it looks like one of you has finally lost their mind, I was wondering if I could still cause people to do that,

“No that’s not it,” I shook my head at him catching my breath a little. “Who ever said that we were here to defeat you? Sure wasn’t me. We’re just the first line of defense, the guys and gals holding you here while the heavy artillery arrives,”

Oh really? And just when exactly is your 'heavy artillery' going to arrive?” he said right before a large ring on light blue magic lassoed around his torso.

Seeing the surprised look on his face I just smirked and said “About now, thanks for letting us distract you,” As they got a bit closer I could see Cadence whose magic was holding Tirek whip her head backwards. Tirek was pulled off his feet with force into the air with.

I watched, slightly in awe as he sailed up into the air, and then with a simple twist Cadence flung him down into the ground. He hit the ground with an impact of a small explosion. Dust and bits of earth flew off in every direction.

Tirek Slowly got to his feet as Luna and Celestia reached over head, the aura around their horns instead of being their usual transparent were solid. In a show of power each fired at Tirek. Two beams descended from the sky. One yellow and the other blue hit tirek and bombarded him with their power. The wind and pressure were so great that I put my hand in front of my face to block some of it, until a magic shield of a familiar color materialized in front of us.

“Dan!” I heard Twilight call. She came running up with the rest of the girls and her brother; his magic providing the shield.

“Oh hey nice of you guys to show up,” I said as Twilight hugged me. In the few seconds of peace we had, Applejack checked on her dad, Rainbow Dash checked on Swift, Pinkie gave Flintlock a snack and Fluttershy helped get Titanus back on his feet.

“So the princesses look like they are going all out here,” I said watching as the beams of energy kept pummeling Tirek into a crater.

“Yeah you should have seen it in Canterlot, I was there when they sensed his power. I’ve seen them look down ruthless griffon ambassadors and dignitaries while still giving those calm smiles and never ever flinching. But boy when they felt this guy’s magic I saw surprise and then pure anger, even scared me for a second,” He told me as Celestia, Luna, and Cadence landed after the beams had finished. I simply stood there and thought about it for a second before nodding. “What, no smart comeback?”

“Not after that light show. They must really hate this Tirek guy...thing…monster,” I responded keeping my eyes on the princess until I felt two hooves yank my face down.

“Did you say TIREK!” my eyes were met with Twilight’s as she basically shouted at me.

“Um that’s what he said his name was…exactly how bad is he?”

“How bad? HOW BAD!?! On a scale of one to ten of evil he’s a perfect ten I’m surprised you guys aren’t hurt more. I mean I know you guys are well trained but this guy makes Discord look nice by comparison!” Twilight rambled as she checked me for any injuries I might have somehow missed.

“Hmm maybe that’s why Celestia and Luna are so serious at the moment,”

Oh you haven’t even begun to see serious yet Dan,” Cadence said as Shining opened up an entrance in his shield for her. “If you thought your fight with her was anything just watch,” she said motioning two the two Alicorn standing near the crater, watching as Tirek black form slowly made it way out.

“You had a fight with the princess?” Twilight asked in a hushed tone.

“It was during our whole 'I’m in love with you but don’t know how to say it' thing, I was in the guard and apparently it’s a mandatory initiation,”

“Well I hope you didn’t hurt her,”

“Hurt her! She literally pushed me into the ground! Six times! In a row! It was me you should be worried about in that kind of situation, did you even see that attack her and Luna did? I don’t think you have to worry about them,” my whispering got loud as I tried to make my point that Princess Celestia was a grown mare and could definitely defend herself.

“Shhh you two it’s about to start,” Cadence shushed us as Tirek finally regained his composure.

Ah to be hit with such a strong attack like that. Filled with intent to obliterate and destroy,” he said eyes closed with a smile on his face. “It’s been so long Luna, Celestia,” his eyes opened but they were not the black that I had seen. Purple and white swirled in a way I couldn’t described. It was what like what happened when a shark attacked its prey.

“Don’t act all pleasant you demon, we sealed you all those years ago, how did you escape?” Luna shouted at him, clearly in no mood for pleasantries from the enemy. Celestia on the other hand stood still. I could feel a pressure emanating from her.

Escape…well I really wouldn’t call it an escape. I mean I was set free…by one of your little ponies, even,” he said smiling, trying to get a rise out of either of the two rulers. Neither of them budged at his attempt. “It was weird knowing how you enchanted my seal so that anyone searching for it could never find it, but he wasn’t. Apparently he was just walking thinking to himself, probably for quite a long time. So I told him that if he released me I would help him with his problems. It’s still a bit fuzzy but going through his memories I believe that thing over there was the cause of most of his problems, something about calling him a “douchebag” or something,

I’ve never felt any stiffer than I did right then. Immediately memories clicked into place. My breathing became ragged as I glanced at Swift wide eyed, she looked at me the same way I was looking at her.

So I spoon fed him that and let him think about it for a bit and what do you know he bought it. I felt so glad when I consumed him that I knew that I could still lie though my teeth. You know-

“What do you mean by consume?” Celestia broke her statue like pose to ask a question.

Well as you probably remember, when you sealed me with the Elements of Harmony you basically turned my body into an ethereal energy that couldn’t wreak havoc on anything. So when the poor sap broke my seal I needed a way to become…tangible so we say? So I took him and broke him down. I used his mortal body to create this shell you see before you, it’s a bit thin but I made the best with the little I had to work with. I used his life force to bind my new from together, well at least what was left of it…I think scaring him while I slowly took over him wasted a bit of it. And then finally once I was ready I took his soul and...” He glanced back at the volcano. “Well it’s kind of obvious what I did there,” his evil grin turned into a malicious snarl.

Most of us stood motionless, taking in his words and trying to think of something to be our next move. Thankfully for us all Celestia had already decided. Six blasts of magic fired from her horn faster than I could see. All of them hit Tirek and stopped binding him in place. It was just a brief moment in time after they hit him but before he tried to free himself Celestia charged. With a flash of ma