• Published 24th Jan 2013
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My New Life in Equestria: Helping Has Its Ups and Downs - HAZESHIFT



Waking up in a tree usually doesn't mean its gonna be a good day...today on the other hand I find it to be the opposite...at least in the short run as i find myself in a world of ponies

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Chapter 31: something something DANGERZONE!!!!

Chapter 31: Something something DANGERZONE!!!

“Dan it’s almost time for bed are you done with whatever you were doing?” Twilight’s call from upstairs broke me out of my stupor; which I had apparently been in for a while. I was either thinking really hard or my constant head trauma was causing some kind of problem, because I looked at the clock and the time had changed considerably from when I started on my task.

“Oh and lets changes the bandages on your head before bed. I know there wasn’t much blood but I don’t take chances. Laundry isn’t on the schedule for another three days.” she said hiding the fact that she was a bit worried, but after hitting my head so many times I think it became the norm for her.

I ran my hand across my forehead, feeling the bandages. Looking down at the table I was sitting at, I looked at the things I was using. I had a book of spells open, I thought I should expand my magic more and Twilight was eager to hoof over a copy of Magic for Dummies, laughing the whole time after I looked at the title. The next thing was a letter to Celestia, telling her about getting my magic under control, and the last thing was a checklist. It wasn’t as detailed as Twilight’s checklists and she had been pretty vocal about it but I did it my way regardless. I had only managed to check one thing off on it, test flight capabilities.

Rainbow Dash’s flying lessons were in the morning and I thought it would have been good to try it out. The things I didn’t take into consideration was how much power to use and the fact that I was indoors in a building made for beings about one half my size. After I hit the ceiling, the lintel of the doorway separating the library and the kitchen, and at least two bookshelves, I crashed to the floor.

Twilight bandaged me up and then forbade me from propelling myself around the house until I got it under control. I spent the rest of the night learning about magic until Twilight called me. I looked down at the last page. I had been reading about teleportation and thought that maybe I could try it out. Twilight didn’t want me flying and moving hurt a bit from the crashes so I decided to see if I could take a short cut.

“Hey Twilight, you’re in the bedroom right?” I called up the stairs.

“Yes… Why?” was the reply I got.

“I’m gonna try some magic so stay there.” I said as my flames flickered. The book had given the scientific application and then gave theory and practice tips about how to perform a teleportation spell. You had to visualize where you were going to be and exactly where you want your body placed. You sent out a bit of magic and then used the whole of your magic to not pull it back but to pull you to it.

I breathed in and did exactly as the instructions said. I pushed just a small bit of my magic into the bedroom, exactly where I wanted to end up. As my magic made its way towards it I glanced down at the book and my eyes caught the last line, “make sure eyes are closed during transition.” I felt my magic make contact and started pulling me and I didn’t have time to close my eyes.

It was like traveling through a Stargate. Colors flying everywhere and completely assaulting your senses. Thank goodness I wasn’t traveling that far because the next thing I knew I was standing in the bedroom next to the dresser where my clothes were. I could feel my body sway in dizziness and my vision was filled with spots. I blinked rapidly trying to get them to go away.

“Didn’t close your eye before teleporting?” I could hear Twilight say.

“Yup.”

“Well other than that I say it was a good first teleport. Now hurry and get changed for bed I’m going to set the alarm clocks” Twilight said. Her body clock was really fined tuned so she didn’t need one but she got two for me because I tend not want to wake up.

“Alright.” I said getting changed. “Knowing Rainbow this will probably be the earliest she has gotten up in a while.”

“Well she did seem really excited to teach flying to someone who has never had the ability to fly before.” Twilight said as we got into bed.

“I’m just glad that you ponies don’t have any way of recording things on videos yet otherwise I wonder how many ponies would show up just to watch me crash and burn.” I said while staring up at the ceiling.

“But I thought your flames couldn’t-“

“It’s just an expression Twi.”

“Oh…Well what about Jarvis, can’t he record?” she asked coming back the topic.

“He probably could from my helmet but that’s going to be getting a lot of use protecting all this.” I gestured to my face. “You wouldn’t want to have an ugly boyfriend right?” I asked trying to get her to laugh.

“I don’t know, if you get hurt badly enough maybe we could get a good doctor to so some plastic surgery. Maybe turn that small nose of yours into a proper muzzle.” She smiled devilishly before nuzzling my cheek.

“Oh har har.” I faked being poset for a second before smiling again. “You’re getting much better, I think Rarity might have a challenger soon.”

“Oh really?” she asked.

“Yeah in a couple of years. Now let’s get some shut eye, I’m gonna need a lot of energy for tomorrow.” I said ruffling her hair a bit before grabbing her and hugging her like a teddy bear once again and shutting my eyes.

“Do we always have to fall asleep like this? Not that I really mind.” I could hear her voice waiver slightly during the second sentence.

“Well one day maybe you’ll be my size and I will be your size, then you can cuddle me all you want. But for now you’re mine.” Was the last thing I said before we both fell asleep.

Morning had never been good for me in Equestria. Twilight waking me up was usually the worst because she sometimes had to do it forcefully. When I was at the barracks I woke up to Reveille, but it wasn’t as bad considering it wasn’t directly in my face. This morning however that is exactly what happened.

The music went off suddenly and loudly, causing my eyes to snap open and see the bright blue Equestrian sky. Immediately I tried to cover my eyes but found that whatever I was laying on didn’t exactly give me good balance, and the next thing I knew I was falling.

The ground wasn’t to close so I had enough time to think. I ignited my magic and tried what I had done the night before. My flames shot out with enough velocity to stop me and then some flipping me over once before I landed butt first on the ground. I winced slightly as I felt the pain only to hear laughter. Looking back up to where I believe I fell from where Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Spitfire, Scootaloo, and some other pegasi.

“Oh yeah let a guy fall in a way that could hurt him, so funny.” I called up to them. As they stopped laughing all of them glided down, except for Twilight who teleported down.

“Well we needed some way to get you up quickly. And as it turns out the danger of you getting hurt is exactly what wakes you up.” Rainbow Dash said smugly.

“And what about if I hadn’t figured out how to kinda fly and smacked face first into the ground? Wouldn’t that put everything off schedule?” I asked.

“Nope we planned for that too.” Spitfire answered this time. “bad crashes happen all the time in Wonderbolts practices, so we keep a storm cloud around so we can shock them back to life if need be.” She put on a smile and pointed to a small dark cloud floating gently nearby.

“Oh I see…” I could feel one of my eyes twitching slightly. I shook my head to clear my thoughts before I spoke again. “So why do we have so many ponies today? Another crowd to watch my learning antics?”

“Actually no, they're also here to train. But let me introduce the ones you haven’t met yet. You’ve already met Thunderlane and Snowflake. But we also have Flitter, Cloudchaser, Blossom.” Dash said pointing to the mares who waved. “And last but not least-“ Dash started but stopped when a blue blur moved past her and stopped in front of me. It took me a second for my vision to focus on the pony who rushed up to me and now held my hand with both front hooves and was gingerly shaking it.

“The name is Cloud Kicker.” The mare said trying to be as charming as she could. Looking down I not only noticed that she seemed really too friendly but I could also feel it. I couldn’t tell whether it was my magic sensing it or something a bit more primal. I think I decided it was more primal when I could literally feel Twilight staring at me and Cloud Kicker.

I quickly returned the gesture, removed my hand from her grip and moved back a step giving Twilight a sheepish smile.

“Watch it Cloud Kicker, the big guy is already spoken for. If you keep pushing you might end up butting heads with Twilight, and she’s got a horn.” Rainbow Dash snickered as Cloud Kicker and Twilight looked at each other. Twilight looked angry but Cloud Kicker kept her smile on.

“Oh don’t worry boss, sometimes things get rough, and who knows maybe she’s the kind of mare who likes to share.” Her smile got bigger and in this game of mare on mare chicken Twilight backed down first, her scowl turning to a look of surprise and she started blushing.

Before Cloud Kicker could keep going though Rainbow Dash cuffed her over the back of her head and pushed her back into the line. “Well now that introductions are out of the way I can finally explain what’s going on today. Dan you and Scootaloo are going to be training with me, while Spitfire will be doing some more intensive drills with the rest of you. I trust you’ll show her how good the Pegasi of Ponyville are when it comes to flying?” with a quick glare everypony she marched in front of while speaking snapped to attention.

“Alright Spitfire they are all yours. Just don’t break any of the too badly, they got work tomorrow. Scoots, Dan follow me over here, we are gonna start with the basics.” I followed her as I watch Spitfire give some words to the other ponies and then take oof with all of them following her. Twilight followed behind me.

We walked a bit to where there were some clouds set up at different heights. While I stared at it Rainbow began speaking again. “Alright Dan, Scootaloo already knows the basics of what’s going to happen cause we have done a bit of this but I will walk you through most of it. The first thing you two are going to do is called hop floating.”

She walked closer to where the lowest hanbgin cloud was and jumped while flapping her wings slightly, propelling her up to the cloud. She landed softly and said “It’s a simple exercise gaze to the small Pegasus beside me.

Looking down I saw Scootaloo do some quick stretches before she beganj flapping her wing s to what extent she could. In small quick motions she hopped slightly before she took a bigger jump and floated up onto the clouds surface.”

“See Dan, if the little squirt can do it then you should be able too. Now light up and get you flank up here!” she said like a drill sergeant would.

Last night on of the things I had managed to do was figure out how to trigger my magic with a snap of my fingers. It was quick, easy, and not very showy. Stretching my legs I tried the same thing as Scootaloo. I gave my self a slight boost after my third hop and propelled myself up as I moved my foot to land of the cloud, Rainbow spoke and broke my concentration.

“Oh and just to tell you they don’t exactly look it but clouds can be kinda slippery!” she said as my foot had barely touched the rim of the cluod and then by some stroke of coincidence slipped leaving me to flip in the air and fall. I would have landed on my face if not for the fact that I found some way to keep myself afloat. Touching back down to the ground I looked up at Rainbow in annoyance.

“Just couldn’t wait till I was on the cloud could ya?” Rainbow only responded with a sheepish grin before I tried again. I didn’t question the fact that I could stand on a cloud. Since I woke up on one I guess that Twilight had used the cloud walking spell on me in my sleep. Finding it just as simple as the first time I made it up to the first cloud from there me and scoots repeated the exercise several times till we were on the second to last cloud. I had noticed that the gaps between the clouds had goteen bigger and bigger the higer we went up, I guess it was Rainbow’s way of pushing us.

With a bit of struggling, Scootaloo and I made it up to the last cloud. We both exchanged smile while we took deep breaths, the exercise wearing us out more than we had thought.

“Congrats you two you did that in a pretty good time.Now catch your breath and get ready of the next part of your totally awesome radical training!” Rainbow said gently flapping her wings beside us. From down below I could hear Twilight shouting.

“RAINBOW THAT TITLE ISN’T GRAMMATICALLY CORRECT!!!”

“I don’t think she really cares at this point Twi!” I yelled back down seeing as how Rainbow was talking to Scootaloo. I could see Twilight making some kind of face and knew that she would say something when we came down.

“Alright you two I hope you caugfht your breath because here comes the next part. So far you’ve gone up and that’s pretty much the easy part, but now you got to go down.”

“OK sounds simple but what’s the catch, Colors?: I asked while simultaneously trying out a new nickname.

She raised any eyebrow before figuring it out and answered. “Oh yeah you can’t land on clouds too hard or they will break so you got to watch your speed while desending. So go ahead but be careful.” She said before resuming her hovering near us, watching Scoots and I.

Scootaloo took the first leap, she maintained a good wing beat the whole way down to the closest cloud. I noticed that looked difficult to keep that much concentration into going that far so I thought that maybe I could try to slow myseklf down before I impacted instead of all the way down.

Insteap of jumping off I simply walked off and waited a few seconds before I hit the cloud and fired off a burst of flame. I managed to slow myself down and gingerly land on the cloud. Scootaloo had been watching me and whenh I landed slowly nodded to herself in thought.

As she took her next leap she did the same thing I did andit served her well, it was good to know that we could learn from each other on this, as one being that naturally had the ability to fly and another being that had a tendency to get hurt when trying something new.

Rainbow stopped us when we landed on the lowest cloud, she looked slightly upset, my guess was that Twilight had been talking about her title and how it had to be more grammitaclly correct.

“Ok everypony that was good, you’ve gotten through part two of Rainbow Dash’s Awesome Training without many injuries.” She shot me a sheepish smile which I returned with a smile, I couldn’t really keep any grudges with most ponies, curse pony cuteness. “And yes I changed the name of the training because someone read somewhere the grammatical whatever-ness will lower morale or something.” I saw her and Twilight exchange a glare.

“Now you’ve learned to go up and down, but now comes learing to move on a… What was it you called it Twiligh?”

“A horizontal X Axis.”

“Yeah what she said. You got to learn how to move forward, backward, and side to side.” Rainbow crushed her record for turning scientific jargon from Twilight into simple words. Both of you are going to have to sustain your flight and move in those directions. And land only after I have said so.” She gave us a determined a l as she got ready to get rid of the cloud underneath us. “Ready and…Go!” she said as she gave the cloud of buck.

Scootaloo and I dropped an inch or two as we got situated. I knew that my magic was more of an energy source but I guess that in time it took a bit of a strain on my muscles. I noticed as while floating I could feel a bit of tension in my arms, I guess that Scootaloo was feeling the same thing considering we were doing this side by side. I didn’t have much time to think about how to move so decided to wing it and hope for the best.

I flicked my left wrist slightly and I felt myself move to my left, and after moving about a foot I I did the same thing with my other worst this time making me go left. While I was just listing lazily to the left I looked over to Scootaloo who was being watched by Rainbow Dash intently even though the mare still had a smile on her face.

It didn’t take long to move forward and backward and while I waited for Rainbow to approve of me I just kept moving in circles suspended a few feet of the air.

“Alright you two you’ve done really well you two can land now.” Rainbow said with a flourish as she landed near Twilight. Scootaloo landed in a huff and pumped her hooves in the air while she laid on her stomach.

As I landed I felt my legs shake and my knees buckled, I fell on my behind and couldn’t help but smile even though I felt slightly exhausted. Twilight came up and hugged me from behind, showing how proud she was. We all took a break and Twilight brought out a picnic basket from somewhere and brought out some lunch that she made, to which I raised an eyebrow.

“When did you learn to cook?” I asked biting into a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

“Well since Spike and you can cook pretty decently I figured that I had to step up my game. So I’ve been practicing in my lab in the basement.

“So wait.” I said with a mouthful before swallowing. “So every time you said you were doing “sciency things”.” I used the air quotes gesture regardless if they got it or not. “You’ve been toiling away trying to cook? …That’s so cute!” I said grabbing her around her barrel in for a hug.

“ACk Dan what are y-!” she treid to say as I pulled her into a full bear hug not caring about the two Pegasus onlookers.

“Heh see squirts told you they would get all mushy.” I heard Rainbow say.

I looked over to Scootaloo who wasn’t looking at our public display of affection with disgust but more out of confusion and curiosity. “Is this that thing Ms. Cheerilee was talking about, like when a stallion and a mare love each other, and the birds and the bees?’

Scootaloo’s words had a different effect on each of us. Rainbow’s jaw dropped first and then her body did so as when her jaw hit the floor her mouth closed. Twilight began to blush so hard that I think her flanks were turning red.

Meanwhile my mouth was open but in the biggest smile I could have. I was on the verge of laughing and crying because of how funny the situation was but my body wouldn’t respond with anything.

Everything was quiet for a minute before Scootaloo asked “So was I right?”

“Well that’s not a question for me to answer squirt.” Rainbow said first.

“oh no it wasn’t-“ Twilight started before I spoke at the same time.

“Maybe.”” Was the only word I said before I got looks from all three of them. Rainbow and Scootaloo both looked puzzled whiel Twilight’s face was a mixture of embarrassed, confused, and angry.

“What are you doing? Don’t gp putting ideas in a foals head you you...” Twilight broke out of my embrace. It only got worse form there as that was when I started laughing. Twilight looked at me before she took on a more angry look and her horn lit up.

I stopped laughing when the first shot buzzed by my head. Looking AT Twilight I saw a slight grin of satisfaction. “Laughing at my expense? I’ll fix that.” My blood ran cold for a moment and I audibly gulped.

I managed to dodge the second magic blast by getting into the air. Having plenty fo room to dodge I tried my best but she picked up her firing rate and while I was turning I took a hit…to my butt.

“AUUGH!! I shouted my hands clasping my behind as I fell a few feet before realizing I was mid flight. “Alright Twilight you got me, I’m sorry I went a bit too far that time. Can we stop now?” I aksed floating in midair.

“Oh I don’t think so Dan, I think this is quite a bit of fun. I think we could make an exercise for us out of this. It will help you with your flying and me with my…accuracy. I’ll even be a good sport I’ll give you two minutes to get your armor ready and everything.” She magicked up a clock out of thin air and it was then I knew she was serious.

I chuckled weakly as I felt my armor activate. “Jarvis?”

“I took the liberty of helping you sir incase you seemed a bit scared. Would you also like some accompanying music to take some of the stress away?”

“Yes please Jarvis.” I said in a defeated tone.

“Am I correct in assuming that for this situation that Kenny Loggins would be the correct music sir?”

“Correct again Jarvis…oh and I did make plans for tomorrow right?”

“Yes you did sir.”

“Ok good thanks Jarvis. That’ll be all for now.” I said as Twilight’s magic clock went off. As it poofed away she looked up at me. Her dangerous smile still looked adorable to me and didn’t change any feelings I had about her. Right before she began I sighed to myself and muttered “Dange Zone.” To myself in my helmet.

The next thing I can consciously remember was that I was lying face up on a cloud with Twilight standing over me. Craning my neck back I could see Rainbow and Spitfire trying to suppress laughter as they pushed us to what I could assume was the middle of town. Ponyville had seen some crazy things, several of them involving me, so this sight was probably not weird for anyone that saw.

“Hey.” I reached up and poke Twilight in her stomach, earning a giggle from her as she looked down on me. “Wide blast are cheating you know.” I said as I sit up and she tooka seat in my lap.

“Well from now on it will, but you didn’t stipulate any rules this time so no use complaining about it.” She responded, that know-it-all smile never leaving her face.

“Hey you two, if you start getting all lovey dovey and making out we aren’t going to push this cloud anymore.” Rainbow says adamantly.

“Well what if we just make out are you gonna go grab the camera again?” I aksed earning a jab from Twilight causing Rainbow to laugh and Spitfire to give me a confused look. I rechae dinto my pocket and pulled out my wallet. Opening it up I pulled out a small picture and showed it to Spitfire. Her emotions went from awing at it then laughing hysterically. It was the picture Rainbow Dash and Rarity took of when I was cuddling Twilight like a Teddy Bear after my first night here in Equestria.

Spitfire laughed all the way back to the library much to Twilight’s chagrin. When we got there there was something though standing outside that we weren’t expecting. Outside the library was a chariot with two Pegasus guards.

The cloud came to a stop and Twilight got off. “Is there something I can help you two gentlecolts with?” The two guards l;ooked at her and then saluted quickly before responding.

“We have come to find Sergeant Major Allen, Ms. Sparkle.”

Hearing my name I walked over to the guard yawning slightly. The guard saluted me and I returned the salute, one of the reached into the saddle bags on his side and drew out a scroll. “Princess Celestia sent us here and said to give you this, she said you would know.”

I opened the scroll to find a short message from Celestia plus a piece of paper I had seen before. “What does it say Dan?” Twilight asked.

“You said any day; any time…It looks like Princess Celestia is cashing in on her Hearthswarming present. I said giving her the scroll, she looked at it before she smiled a bit. “I guess that means that I’m going to Canterlot for the rest of the day.”

“But Dan what about tomorrow?” Twilight said a bit distraughtly.

“Don’t worry I already made plans for us. But instead of starting them in Ponyville, instead you can meet me in Canterlot and we’ll start there, we can even say high to your folks as well. OK?”

She mulled it over for a while before she smiled and gave me a quick peck on the cheek. “Ok then I’ll see you tomorrow.” She said before she turned around and left with Spitfire and Rainbow Dash.

I looked at the guards whoi werew smiling at me. “Stow those smiles stallions, that was the beginning of a test, one that I hope to pass. Now let’s head off, I don’t want to keep wither mare waiting at any time.”

The ride was short, I still found myself a bit nervous on the chariots, even though I could fly meself. Upon reaching the palace I thanked the two pegasi that had brought me and headed for the throne room.

I reached the doors and greeted the two guard who were standing outside. “Are the princesses still holding court?” The guards nodded but looked a little uneasy for some reason. I could hear multiple voices coming from the other side of the doors, some souded calm and others sounded the opposite. “What are they talking about?” Both guard looked at each other with worried glances before one of them; a unicorn mare; spoke up.

“Um well they are speaking about…you, sir.” The mare looked at me and then at the ground.

“Me?” I hadn’t really made any enemies that I knew of beside Douchebag and Blueblood. Then again I hadn’t met most of the nobles and I’m not sure exactly what kind of impression I left on them. Maybe Celestia was protecting me form the ones that were “ooposed” to me. “Wow and they didn’t invite me either, how rude. Well I guess then I should see what all the fuss about me is about.” I said walking up to the doors and slowly opening one of them.

“Princess Celestia, we ask that you reconsider you position on this matter.” Was the first thing I heard as I slipped into the room. I could see the throne and the only pony sitting up near it was Cadence sitting to the right of it. Celestia was standing with her sister at her side and discussing something with a group of ponies; and she didn’t look happy. Cadence noticed me as I came in and I raised a finger to my lips, she nodded to confirm that she knew what I want. Slowly I made my way towards the front and the volume of the conversation got louder.

“Your highnesses why can’t you see that it is a present Danger to all of Equestrian society?” And unknown voice said.

“Besides the lack of proof, I wonder.” Celestia’s voice said. “And do not call him and “it” he has a name and we know what he is.”

“This human and his actions are simply inexcusable and intolerable by anypony.”

“Do you mean by anypony in general or anypony like you, he has helped the common pony and has gained favor with them, is that what is bothering you” Luna responded this time.

“No, our problem lies in the fact that he seems to be able to do anything he want regardless of the law and his powers are growing unchecked and no pony seems to care and it is a slap in the face of the nobility.” I got close enough to see an older unicorn who was leading the group.

“I’m sure you have some examples right?” I heard Celestia sigh slightly as she listened on.

“Of course your majesty, first off there were the times during the Gala and during Hearthswarming where he interrupted everything with his outlandish music.”

“Which also uplifted the spirit of the ponies around to hear. Not to mention free of charge” Celestia retorted.

“He not only insulted a prince but physically hurt him.” Another pony brought up.

“Yes strewth, but twas only after Prince Blueblood had offended not only Dan but one of the Elements of Harmony and Dan challeneged Blueblood out of honor. And might we add the second incident was after The Prince had drunken himself into a stupor and was embarrassing himself, twas most funny.” Luna answered next.

“What about the fact that he has made headlines for being in a relationship with your student, Twilight Sparkle?” A mare asked form a crowd.

“Whatever happens between Her and Dan are their actions and theirs alone.” Celestia sadi showing just a hint of anger at the topic.

“What about now that this thing has magic and a ways of making himself fly? What if his new powers grow?”

“Well first let me say that Dan’s magic is certainly not new, it has not been seen in a long time but we have encountered it before. And as for his strength, as he is now he has just discovered his power and would have the amount of magic capability of a foal entering magic kindergarten, and even though he may seem powerful to you my sister beat him easily. If he was to try anything I’m sure even Twilight Sparkle would be able to win in a fight against him.” Luina responded.

“You give us all these “if scenarios” princess and they don’t make us feel any better. We want to set up a task force so we can monitor the human, know what he is up to and make sure his intentions are for the betterment of Equestria. How else are we suppoused to know?” A stallion said form the group and I felt that now was a good time to reveal myself.

“Oh I don’t know you could just ask him?” I said aloud catching everypony’s attention.

“Oh Dan you’re here already?” Celestia seemed surprised that I had already made it to Canterlot.

“And what exactly are you doing here!?!? Guards seize the human for entering the throne room unannounced.” The noble leading the group that was talking against me was afraid and angry at the same time.

I looked at him bemusedly for a second before I turned to several guard who looked puzzled at what to do. “Belay that order, remain at your posts until addressed by me, the captain, or the princesses.” I said calmly. The guards saluted quickly before they returned to their stone like positions.

“What is the meaning of this, I said to seize him, this thing holds now power here now do your jobs or I will see you court marshalled!” the noble was huffing and puffing. He was becoming a bit belligerent and didn’t notice that the smiles on the princesses’ faces were slowly changing into frowns.

“First of all please don’t call me thing, I have a name it’s Dan. Oh and also the title to go along with it is Sergeant Major, so my words do hold some weight. And as for what I’m doing here, well Princess Celestia has requested my presences, so I came. Do you have any other questions?” I said looking down on the unicorn stallion, while also glancing up at Celestia inquisitively.

“Why yes I believe I do? What arte your intentions for your stay here?” Thew stallion said trying to be vague as possible.

“Well for one I’m trying to go at least one day without getting hurt, I’m pretty sure I’ve got a doctors appointment in a couple days to make sure that I haven’t sustained any kind of problems with all the head trauma I’ve had. Now can we stop beating around the bush here, I know you have some kind of problem with me I heard everything you said to the princesses. SO what exactly is your problem with me.” I decided to be direct.

“We are just trying to decide to figure out if your are safe enough to trust being around the ponies of Equestria.” The stallion answered. I looked at him trying not to show any emotion before a thought popped into my head.

I moved past him and over to Princess Celestia. “Princess do you trust me?” I asked her. She barely paused to think before she smiled and answered “Yes Dan, I do trust you.” Hearing her words I walked over to one of the guards.

“Soldier do you trust me?”

“I would follow you into battle at anytime, sir!” the mare saluted.

Following that I walked back over to the noble stallion. “Well Princess Celestia trusts me, the guard trust me, and I know for a fact that thorugh my actions and the general way I treat ponies better than you do that the common pony trusts me.” I snuck in a condescending remark for fun. “So the only group that I guess doesn’t trust me would be the nobles…” I paused for a bit in mock thought. “Well I guess three out of four isn’t bad I can live with that.” I said smiling.

“Now if you are done asking condescending and stupid questions about your allies and friends would you please leave the Princesses have other matters to attend to.” I said giving a signal for the guard to open the doors.

The stallion looked at me in disbelief. “Now see here you..” he started to say but dropped off as his anger slowly subsided into a bit of fear. I could feel Celestia’s presence over my shoulder and knew she must having been giving him a look.

Slowly the stallion and the group left the room, still giving me looks of discontent, hatred, and disgust, but I waved it off seeing as how I didn’t care about their approval. I turned around to face the Princesses who were grinning. Chuckling to myself I pulled out the piece of paper and showed it to Celestia.

“Looking to do some talking?”

Minutes later we were walking down a hallway towards Celestia’s chambers, Luna intended to join us but she had some of her own matters to do.

“You know your actions today won’t make them go away. The nobles will only come back and keep bothering you. Celestia said referring to earlier

“Well that means that you’ll let me have to take care of it one day, I’ve survived worse things than politicians, you’r eone of them remember?” I said thinking back about when she buried me in the arena.

Celestia blushed before responding. “Well I guess you are technically correct. Tell you what, one day in the future if certain plans of mine are met you’ll probably get your wish granted.” She played vague about whatever was going to happen in the future.

“Any chance on telling me what these plans are?” I asked.

“No you may not, you have other matters to attend to.” She said as we came to a stop standing outside the doors to her chambers. “Oh and just so you knowi haven’t had time to fully clean my room so it may be a bit… messy.” She said as she began to open the doors with her magic.

“Oh Celestia I’m not going to judge your cleanliness habits I’m not that type of… Oh mercy this room is kicking.” She had been right when she said she hadn’t fully cleaned. There were some small pile of clothes thrown about, pillows scattered randomly, and I believe some empty takeout boxes filled up a small trash bin and more laid around it.

“You get take out?” was the only thing I could say, it was just the strangest thing my mind could cough up.

“Oh yes every once and awhile when I don’t want to bother the cooks, I found this great 24 hour Chineighese place, when I was out for a stroll one day…would you like to order some?” she asked as she trotted into the room and started to use her magic to tidy it up.

“Uh sure I’m up for some new cuisine.” I said getting a better look at the room. It wasn’t overly decorated, but just what the Princess wanted, I could see a nice sized bookshelf; I wondered how many of them Twilight had read.

“OK there all clean and the food ordered. Would you like to take a seat?” I focused back on Celestia, who was sitting on a pillow near a table filled with a various assortment of drinks.

“Sure.” I answered walking over and plopping down on a large fluffy pillow. I grabbed a drink and took a sip , it had orange in it and I think there might have been some kind of alchol in it. I looked over to Celestia who looked a bit embarrassed. “What’s wrong Celly.” I decided now was the perfect time to try out nicknames.

“Well even though I asked you ehre and all I’m afraid I’ve never really done this before. Talk to anypony like this besides Luna.” She blushed slightly.

“Well the first step...” I paused to finish my drink and grab another one. “Is grab one of these drinks cause DAM that good stuff! And secondly it’s your story start wherever you want to.”

“Ah ok then… I guess I’ll start… with Discord.” Celestia looked off in remembrance.

Over the next few minutes Celestia regaled me of her and Luna’s past. From when Discord started ruling, to her and her sister’s ascension into Alicorns, to using the elements of harmony for4 the first time. It turns out that Discord isn’t totally evil, he was just misunderstood. Poniesa back then where like the nobility now, very unaccepting of things that weren’t up to their imaginary standard.

“So he does his little jokes and reality warping, but no one sees it as fun…well except for Pinki Pie and the chocolate milk rain..” Celestia said.

“Personally I could live with that too. Did he ever have any friends? I’m guessing everything was just a way of getting attention but did it ever add up to anything?”

“Unfortunately no, most ponies were two afraid of what he was doing, it’s part of the reason he was sealed in stone, I kind of hoped that maybe on daythere would be ponies that could accept him and change his mind.” Celestia answered

“Another one of your plans?”

“Possibly. What do you want to hear about next?”

“how about after you started ruling on your own…oh and do you have an embarrassing stories about Twilight from her younger years?” I asked hoping to gain some joke material.

“Trying to gain the upper hand for tomorrow are you?” Celestia wasd a good joker like me so she knew what I wanted. “Well ok I have a couple stories I can tell you. But you’re going to do something for me.” She gestured with hoof to a spot next to her.

I got up and wobbled slightly; I had a good number of drinks and was kind of tipsy. I sat down quickly so I didn’t end up doing something stupid and then celestia laid her neck across my lap. Even a bit drunk I knew what she wanted, I slowly started petting her and scratching her like anyone would a dog or cat.

Slowly and with slight moaning she went over her favorite events that happened after Luna’s exile all the way into Twilight’s school years. We talked for hours and hours until atleast I passed out form a combination of exhaustion and drinking.


I awoke to hearing singing. Slowly I sat up and felt a blanket fall off me. Opening my eyes to the not quite as blinding sunlight my eyes focused quickly on something that could make me go blind.

Princess Celestia was currently dancing and dancing badly. I think I finally understood two things. One of them was where Twilight got her dance moves from, and the second one is why Princess Celestia choose to spend a good amount of time at the Grand Galloping Gala.

“Wow...” I said louder than I had intending to, surpriseing the Princess causing her to somersault forward and end up sitting on her haunches.

“Oh Dan you’re awake…you saw huh?” she looked embarrassed as she got back to her hooves.

“OH yeah…don’t worry about I’m not saying anything…go ahead and keep shaking your groove thang.” I put emphasis on the last word.

“Ok then, since that is settled you can use the bathroom to freshen up and shower if you want, but do not use the rainbow colored bottle…unless you want to meet Twilight looking like a human me.” She smirked. “I will meet you in the throne room when you are ready, and be quick Twilight is on her way. She said trotting out of the room.

I showered and really had to resist the shampoo she told me not to use. Stepping out I found new clothes for me, I guess she had a staff member do it. A niuce set of pants,a nice shirt which had a vest to complete the look. “Now all I need is a…” I walked out of the room to find a pony waiting for me with a box, opening it I finished the sentence, “fedora… She really thinks of pretty much everything doesn’t she?” I asked the maid who returned my question with a warm smile.

“Have a nice day.” I said to the maid as I put on the hat on an walked towards the throne room. Coming in from the side entrance I heard whistling. As it turned out Celestia, Luna, and Twilight were there but there was also a good number of the female portion of the staff. I tipped my hat slightly to them as I tried to get to Twilight through the slight crowd, which on let the whistling and shouting get louder.

“Alright that’s enough ladies, Dan is taken and you would have to fight my student if you wanted to chance… any taker?” she asked looking to Twilight who started doing magic exercises. Quickly enough the staff left levingthe princesses, Twilight and I. Walkiung up to the throne I knelt down and hug my mare friend.

“Happy Hearts and Hooves Day, Twilight.”

“I was wondering if you would remember, what with all the head trauma and drinking you did with the princess.

“How did you know?”

“Princess Celestia told me.”

“Ah ok, well at least I cleaned up well enough. You showered right?

“Why of course!?!? I checked off ym shower checklist!” only known to close friends, Twilight had a waterproof checklist that she could erase and check off every morning, she een and my name and spike’s to it as well.

“I don’t know…” I said reaching behind her ear and feeling around. “Then what do you suppouse…this is?” I said pulling my hand back into view with a jewelry box.

Twilight’s mouth hung opne for a minute while her teacher and her teacher’s siter giggle like schoolmares. “But how did you-“ I interrupted her with a finger on her lips.

“Ah ah ah you should know a magician never reveals his secrets. Go on open it.” I told her letting her pick it up with her magic.

She opened it with her magic and her eyes went wide. Inside the box was a necklace, it was a simple gold chain but at certain lengths its would stop and there would be a white gem in the shape of a star separating two lengths, all leading up to large pinkish star in the middle.

“It’s my Cutie Mark…and it’s beautiful.” She said pausing to open the second portion of the box. “And there’s two? She pulled a second one out and gave me a confused look.

“The one is for later. It’s a surprise. And no you can’t ask about it we have a full day planned and-“ I was cut off as a guard galloped in.

“Excuse me your majesties but there is a petitioner outside.” He said saluting the princesses.

“But we aren’t holding court today. What is the nature of his request?” Luna said looking puzzled.

“Um actually he has asked to speak With the Sergeant Major.” Everyone stopped looking at the guard and stared at me.

“Um ok…send him in?” I looked down to Twilight who was looking up at me, our faces both showing surprise. I shrugged showing that I had no clue what was going on.

As soon as the guard opened the door a stallion galloped in, he skidded to a halt at the foot of the thorne and sotpped for a second to catch his breath.

“Can I help you?” I asked still a bit shocked an confused.

Upon hgeairng my voice the stallion seemed to gain energy. Her moved quickly up the stpes of the throne and grabbed one of my hands in his hooves.

“Oh please you’ve got to help me! You’re the only one that can!”

“With what?” I asked hunched over.

“My Wedding!!!”

Author's Note:

Hey guys been awhile right??? heh... well i'm sorry for keeping you reading AND NO YOUR THOUGHTS ARE WRONG DED STORY IS NOT DED HERE!!!!
i worked on another fic andf then just took my sweet ass time.

you know how it goes life's a bitch and i'm working on it. Chapter should become a bit regular again now that i can slow down with work as i go back to school.

i hope you are ready cause i've got some great chapters coming up, and hopefully you guys read and *cough* fave* my other fic as well

woops almost forgot, one of my editors the incredible incomparable and sometimes weird Flint Sparks has to stop editing for me for ahwile...so i'm looking for more help...if you're serious send me a message

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