• Published 24th Jan 2013
  • 21,228 Views, 1,878 Comments

My New Life in Equestria: Helping Has Its Ups and Downs - HAZESHIFT

Waking up in a tree usually doesn't mean its gonna be a good day...today on the other hand I find it to be the opposite...at least in the short run as i find myself in a world of ponies

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I’m sitting in a nice lounge chair atop a hill overlooking a beautiful sunset and a field of flowers. Looking to my right Twilight walks by in her half human form; wearing a very good looking sundress and hands me as cold bottle of beer. I accept it and pay her with a kiss on the cheek as she sits down in a chair next to mine. Everything is quiet as we watch the sun go down and the view it gave us.

“Wow…well it looks like I owe Tia five bits then. I thought that from your actions your dreams would be more…action orientated.” A voice to my left said.

Looking to my left I made out Princess Luna; who had also assumed a semi human form. “Oh hey, Luna. I didn’t even know you knew that spell. I don’t think Twilight has finished it though she says she wants to get closer to me; you know; with less fur and actual feet. But I think that she still cute no matter how she looks…did you say dreams?”

“Yes I did, we are in your dream right now…and you still seem very calm about this.” Luna said.

“Well… I guess that everything is just making me feel really mellow and relaxed… So why exactly are you in my dreams? Is something wrong?” I asked a question but my voice still sounded like I was a happy drunk.

“Oh no nothing is wrong. I am just getting back into the swing of one of my jobs as mistress of the night...”

“Heh, phrasing.” I chuckled as my mind conjured a very non PG rated image.

“Ahem, yes and I was just going over what dreams look like when they are over and I realized that I haven’t seen what a human dream looks like when it is disturbed.” She said as she conjured her own chair and took a seat.

“What do you mean disturbed?” managing to raise an eyebrow in my relaxed state.

“Well knowing your beloved, the time, and some other aspect that I think you can’t realize at this moment. We should just be…right …on time…ah here we are!” she said pointing out into the fields, the skies darkening as she did.

Looking in the direction she was pointing it was too easy to notice what she was talking about. A gigantic tsunami blotted out everything in its wake. “So can I get an explanation for that please?”

“Well your body is able to sense things happening to it and representations of said happenings will appear in your dreams…albeit they will be exaggerated.”

“Ok then…so exaggeration aside. What does this giant tsunami tell us?” I said never taking my eyes of the approaching wave.

“Well besides “giant tsunami” being a redundant phrase. It means your wake up is going to be a bit…wet.” She said with a small smile.

“Well then…it’s been fun Luna, you should join me again sometime in my dreams…however creepy that may or may not sound.”

“Don’t worry Dan, I won’t tell anyone about you little speech flub ups. Although hopefully next time I will be in my regular form though. Not that I mind your human form I am simply not used to this.”

“It’s OK Luna... oh and if next time you are in your pony form just remind me not to stand behind you.” I said thinking of a quick joke.

“Why pray tell? Is there something wrong with my backside?” She asked.

“Well sort of…you're always…MOONING me!” I said putting on my cheesiest smile as the waves crest was completely over us and it started to fall.

Luna’s face went from worry to annoyance very quickly before the water hit us. “Really!?!?! That’s how you end this meeting between us?” she said in an annoyed tone.

“Hey my dream my rules.” I managed to say before the wave came down and I felt something cold hit my face and break my dreamscape. My body reacted automatically; my limbs flail and I felt myself move in some kind of random direction. I coughed, sputtered, and tried to clear my nose of water as everything came to.

“Oh good, that did wake you up, I was wondering if it would work considering how hard you are to wake up sometimes.” Twilight’s voice came at me from a direction I wasn’t sure of yet. As the sting of water being in many of my orifices that it shouldn’t be I managed to open my eyes and noticed that something was a bit off.

“Twilight…please tell me that I just fell out of the bed upside down and that you’re not really on the ceiling?”

“Well first off, yes, and secondly I’m wondering how you didn’t feel anything from falling off the bed.” She said with an adorable giggle.

“Well when your body is overloaded with too many things, some feelings are just left by the wayside.” I said as I started to get to my feet. “What time is it anyway?”

“It’s just about eight in the morning now hurry up and go take a shower or you’re going to be late!” she said in a very enthusiastic sing song voice.

“Wait for what…and why are you so happy about it?” I was a bit confused and scared. Having Twilight being this cheerful this early in the morning usually didn’t work in my favor.

“I’m not telling you anything until you get into the shower mister now hurry up!” She levitated my clothes into my arms and grabbed a towel for me, winding it up and snapping me in the back side with it.

“OW! Ok ok I’m going!” I grabbed that towel out of here telekinetic grip and shut the bathroom door. I scrubbed myself good and came out feeling awake. “Ok Twilight I’m all squeaky clean now!” I called downstairs.

“Did you fill out the checklist?” I heard her shout up. I looked over the wall in annoyance where a poster hung on the wall. On it was the morning health duties of Twilight, Spike, and I.

“But Twilight!” I said groaning slightly.

“NO BUTS MISTER NOW HURRY UP!!!” her shout was a bit louder this time. Sighing to myself I took the little marker and marked off my part of the list for the day.

“Ok Twilight I did it, now what are we doing so early that’s so impor…” I stopped talking when I saw that the library was very full for eight in the morning. Looking around I saw the rest of the girls; Rainbow looked crabby presumably because of how early she was up. And next to them was at least half of the squad, and also joining them was Derpy, Cheerilee, and Lyra.

“Ok what’s going on…are we having an intervention? Is it for Rarity being a drama queen and over acting?” I said looking to the white unicorn who glared angrily at me.

“Well I never!!!” she replied.

“Ok you two knock it off!” I turned around to see Twilight; who had her hair tied up in a bun and glasses on. I also noticed that she was standing next to a small stack of books, a chalkboard, and a couple of small desks. And sitting at those desks were Sweetie Belle, Dinky, Scribble Page, Flintlock Spark, and Flash Bang.

“Ok I’m completely at a loss now. What is going on?”

“Well it’s simple Dan.” Twilight said grabbing my hand in her magic leading me towards an empty desk. “Well, you have the ability to use magic now but that doesn’t mean you know how to use it properly. And that’s when an idea struck me, there are also some unicorn fillies in the town who don’t know much about magic yet. So I figured I could get a couple things done that would help everybody in a simple way.” She said moving to the black board and levitating a piece of chalk. “So without further ado… Welcome to Magic Kindergarten!!!” she said with great enthusiasm. The only sound in the room was the sounds of Sweetie Belle, Dinky, and Flintlock clapping.

“Any questions?” Twilight said out loud hoping that anypony would ask a question. I slowly raised my hand. “Yes Dan?”

“Ok I get Sweetie Belle and Dinky being here…but what about them?” I said pointing to my three squad mates. Flintlock opened his mouth to give a reply but his mouth was blocked by a hoof.

“I volunteered them.” Swift said as she wiped her hoof on the floor after removing it from Flintlock’s mouth. They may have their trademark spells but overall; they are lacking in a lot of places.” I could see her sadistic smile that she put on whenever we were training. “And I figured there would be no better way to get their skills up than by learning from the best there is.” she said pointing a hoof at Twilight who blushed slightly from the praise.

“Well thank you Swift. Now are there any other questions before we begin?” I slowly raised my hand up again. “Really Dan? And no you can’t leave...and don’t let me catch you sneaking out!”

“Oh with everypony here I wouldn’t even make it to the door. No my question that I was going to ask was…is there any chance I can get a desk in my size?” I looked straight down to the desk made for foals that didn’t even come up to my knee.

“Oh I’m sorry Dan I didn’t even think about that, I was just so happy that I would be teaching magic I completely forgot about it.” Her tone had a mix of her actually being sorry and her mocking me. Knowing I wouldn’t like an answer for any question I asked next I got down and sat on the little stool which I didn’t really fit on, folded my legs, and put the desk over them hoping that this would be more interesting than my mind was currently making it not seem.

“Alright then class!” Twilight started out; writing some things on the board. “My name is Ms. Twilight...”

“We already know your name.” I said, lifting my head from the desk and pinching the bridge of my nose.

“Ahem…well right. And today we are…”

“All of us already know why we are here.” I interrupted her again and got a piece of chalk thrown at me.

“Anyway, welcome to your magic lessons. Today’s lesson will be in two parts. First will be the lecture covering Magic Theory, Practicality, and Safety, which will go until lunch time where we will have a break, and then after that will be practice. Does anyone have any questions?”

I put my hand to my forehead to prop myself up wondering if anyone actually did have a reasonable question. A little white hoof shot into the air.

“Finally a proper question. Yes Sweetie Belle?” Twilight smiled at the little innocent filly.

“Um yeah; since you and Dan are in love and together now shouldn’t it be Mrs. Twilight instead of Miss?” Sweetie Belle asked in a happy innocent tone.

In the span of a few seconds after Sweetie Belle asked her question a couple of things happened. First was that the chalk in Twilight flew upwards across the chalkboard and flew somewhere. I couldn’t see where because the second thing that happened is that I was so shocked by the question my body locked up causing my hand to slip from my forehead and my head came crashing down onto my little desk and then because of that I fell backwards off my stool. The last thing to happen after that was everyone else in the room burst into laughter. After lying on the floor for a couple of seconds I propped myself up and looked around. Twilight was still frozen in shock, everyone else was laughing, and Sweetie Belle had a surprised look on her face.

“Did I say something wrong?” she asked looking back and forth between Twilight and I. And before either of us could open our mouths Dinky spoke up.

“Actually Sweetie Belle. I think that she would take Dan’s last name and be called Mrs. Allen instead.” She said with a confident nod.

At her words my body stopped working properly again and my hands slipped again causing me to hurt the back of my head this time. While lying on the ground with my eye shut in pain I could hear that everyone started laughing again.

“OK I think I’ll just let everyone call me Twilight. How does that sound?”

“That sounds like the best thing I’ve heard all day.” I say raising my hand in the air. “Oh and Twi? Please go ahead and schedule a doctor’s appointment for tomorrow so I can get myself checked for head injuries ok?” I said before letting my hand fall down. “Oh Jarvis?”

“Yes sir?” my clothing responded.

“Make sure you get all the notes please.”

“And would you like me to put them into in-armor graphics sir?”

“Yes, thank you Jarvis.”

“My pleasure sir.”

The next few hours went by exactly like I thought they would. Twilight poured out a lot of information and most of us tried to take it as best we could. I say most because whenever I looked to where Dinky and Sweetie Belle where, I could see that they were feverishly writing plenty of notes. After what seemed like hours it was time for our lunch break. Ponies broke off into groups and ate what they brought with them. Twilight made us a quick lunch and we sat together eating. While taking some time to look at everypony who was here I noticed that Flintlock was still at his desk.

“Hey Flintlock did you bring any food?” I asked from my seat.

“Well Dan it’s a long story but…” Flintlock started to explain but stopped when someone knocked on the door. “Oh that should be her!!!” he said jumping into the air and made for the door. As he threw the door open wide the sun spilled into the room. The light cast a shadow over the pony in the doorway for a moment as all our eyes adjusted.

“Flintlock!!!” A mare jumped up and gave Flintlock a hug. She was an earth pony with a green mane and red fur and her Cutie Mark was a Gear with a lightning bolt going through the hole in the center.

“Flint!!!” Flintlock returned the hug to the mare as the rest of us stared at them.

“Uh Flintlock? I think you should introduce us to your friend here before we start taking bets on who she is.” I looked over to Swift Gale and Rainbow Dash who were both holding bits in their hooves. Both of them quickly put their money away and smiled sheepishly when everypony looked.

“Oh yeah. Everybody this is my cousin Flint Sparks. Flint this is everybody.” He said stepping out of the way so everyone could see her and vice versa.

“Oh so she’s your cousin…and she just happens to basically have the same name as you.” I couldn’t tell if my face showed I was happy or puzzled.

“Yup.” Flintlock said quickly.

“So I’m guessing that both of you must have been born pretty close together huh? Like on the same day?” I said smiling as best I could.

“Nope.” my smile dropped immediately.

“Same week?” I pressed on.

“Nope.” Flintlock smiled obliviously.

“Same month?”


“Same Year?” I was getting a bit desperate.

“Nnnope.” Flintlock drew out his response.

“Same town?” I asked once more hoping that I could get something right.

Flintlock paused for a moment and thought for a moment before his mouth opened again. “Nope!” he kept his cheery smile on as I dropped my head in shame.

“So you’re saying that your names being really similar is…”

“Completely coincidental yes!” Flint answered this time, she was smiling just like Flintlock was. I stared at them for what seemed like forever until my mind rebooted.

“I’ll be right back in a minute.” I said and quickly turned around and started walking for the stairs.

“Dan where are you…” Twilight started to ask me.

“Just one minute, I’ll be right back.” I said in the most patient and calm tone. Walking up stairs in the bedroom I just stared at the door after I closed it for a second. Barely noticing that my gauntlets were on I threw four quick punches at the door and screamed out all my frustration. After that I took a couple deep breaths to steady myself before I opened the door and walked back downstairs.

“Everything alright there sugarcube?” Applejack looked at me with an eyebrow raised as I came back into the room.

“Oh yeah much better now.” I said in a long exhale before turning my attention back to Flint Sparks. “So Flint what brings you to Ponyville?”

“Oh well I was in Manehattan and I got called to Canterlot for a job a couple of days ago, and I remembered that Flintlock was here in Ponyville so I sent him a letter telling him that I was coming his way and asked if he wanted me to bring him anything. And he replied with a letter saying lunch.”

“I’m going to guess it was just the word “lunch” right?” Pinkie Pie spoke up for the first time in a while.

“Yeah, how did you know?” Flint didn’t seem to bat an eye at Pinkie’s answer.

“Just a hunch.” Pinkie responded.

Before Flint could follow up I interrupted her. “So Flint, I think that most of us know what Flintlock’s talent is…so what is yours exactly?”

“Oh well I’m good with engineering stuff…and because of some childhood thing I’m…good with fire.”

“Ok I gotta ask you to elaborate on that.” She piqued my curiosity.

“Well one day I…AH…AH…” it seemed like she was going to sneeze.

“OH NO OH NO!!!” Flintlock panicked and reached at his cousin. Grabbing her around the middle and turning her around so that she faced out the door.

“CHOO!!!” she sneezed loudly and at the same time a huge gout of flame came out of her mouth. I quickly looked around the room and sure enough everyone was staring at the same thing I had just witnessed.

“Ah so that’s what you meant.”

After that Flintlock introduced his cousin to everyone personally before she had to say goodbye and get to the train station, but not before giving Flintlock his long awaited lunch. After that we all finished our food and then moved outside for the practical portion of our magic lessons.

“Alright students it’s about time we practiced everything I have been teaching you so far. Everyone will be given an object to levitate. Each object will be representative of your magic power. But before we give you those you must first bring out your magic. You can use whatever kind of method you prefer. And…begin.”

I looked over to Sweetie Belle and Dinky who seemed to be trying to force it out. Twilight was near them giving them tips since they were the youngest of the group with the least experience. My squad mates were able to do it easily as they had years of practice. And then there was me, I stared at my gauntlets for a while thinking about what I was going to do. I didn’t really understand why I had magic and how I could conjure it up.

I thought back to the fight where I first really noticed it. About how I was stuck in a wall watching bleary eyed as Twilight was about to be attacked. About how my mind raced and came to one conclusion that I had to protect her and forced itself to react.

“Maybe it’s…willpower?” I mumbled to myself as my gaze was still fixed on my hands. Closing my eye I thought to myself. Ok magic I know you’re there. I don’t know exactly how I got you but I think that it’s going to be a fun ride. I guess that you respond to my willpower so here goes nothing. Now…BURN!

I felt a tingle move throughout my body and when I opened my eyes I could see my hand covered in the flames that were my magic.

“Dan I proud that you got it so fast!” my eyes moved from my hands to Twilight who had moved to right beside me.

“Well it took me a minute but I had some good teaching, and now I think I have it under control. Well I think it’s time to try it out.” I said smiling at her which brought a blush to her face.

“Oh well yeah, um… Pinkie the objects please.”

“Okie Dokey Lokie they are over here on the table.” All of us looked to the table that Pinkie Pie had pulled out from who knows where. On one end were some simple rubber balls which had a sign for Sweetie Belle and Dinky in front of them. Next to those were some bowling balls meant For Flintlock, Scribble, and Flash. And the last thing on the table behind a little sign with my name on it was…

“Uh Twilight…and or Rarity is that TMMPH...” I couldn’t speak as something covered my mouth.

“Dan listen to me for second darling.” Rarity said appearing from behind me. “Yes that is what you think it is on the table, and yes I do know that you weren’t present when I said that it was something that we should never speak of…again. But I’m going to give you one warning. Make any jokes and you will end up waking up in the middle of the Everfree forest naked and no way of knowing which way to go. Do I make myself clear?”

“Knowing she wouldn’t get my hand gestures I opted for a simple nod. As I did she looked past me to my squad mates. “And do you gentlestallions have anything to say as well?” her eyes narrowing at them.

Flintlock and Scribble quickly nodded while Flash opened his mouth to speak. “Do you have any dinner plans later?” he said nervously.

Rarity’s expression changed as her frown changed into a coy smile. “I’ll think about it darling. Now carry on then.” She said as she released the magic from my mouth.

“I rubbed around my mouth to get some feeling back before I stared at the boulder in front of me. Of course I got a boulder, my marefriend has high expectations for me. Slowly I lifted my left hand.

“Ok how did this go again? Concentrate on your target. Think about what you want to do to it in steps. Step one; enclose the target in your magic.” I felt energy move from my body towards the boulder, it took a little bit of time but I grasped all of it with my magic. “Ok step one done. Step two; think about what you are going to do in parts. Ok easy one there, lift a damn rock.” I fed the thought through my magic for it to move upward. It started easy but then I felt the weight of the rock. Knowing that my magic was based on my willpower; I did the same thing as the little engine that could, I kept repeating the line “I know I can” in my head.

After a couple of seconds I felt the weight lessen and the rock moved upwards. After raising it about ten feet off the ground I stopped it and held it there. Looking around I saw everypony else doing about the same. Sweetie Belle and Dinky were getting praises for the control they had over the balls while Flash, Scribble, and Flintlock were taking some time to do some maneuvers with their bowling balls.

“It seems like you’ve got a good hold on it Dan.” Twilight said from my side again. “I was wondering how your magic works, from the looks of it, it seems like the more you want to do something the more your magic responds, not just in ability but in power as well.”

“Well I think we are both in agreement there. I guess that explains everything in the fight. But I think to be conclusive I should test it out.”

“Uh how do you propose you do that?”

“Well I have a boulder and one free hand don’t I?” I said balling up my fist. I slowly started walking towards the floating boulder letting it float just a bit higher. When I was a couple feet away I let go of it and broke into a small run. As it came close I jumped into the air firing my magic from my hands boosting myself into the air before I brought back one fist, channeled some magic into it, and brought it flush with the boulders surface. I felt the magic flow out of my fist and blast into the boulder with force. Finishing the punch the boulder flew out into the air and was soon a little speck on the horizon.

Landing on my feet I turned around to see a couple of the ponies in the group with their mouths hanging open. “So what’s the score from the judges?” I asked hoping one or more of them would get it.

Pinkie brought a scorecard and raised a ten in my direction.

“Eh it was kinda cool big guy but I think you could have done better.” Rainbow was the next to speak up. “But I’m going to have to deduct point for your little float-y bit, your control was really bad.”

“True, but I really haven’t practiced that yet.” I answered her.

“Well what do you think we are doing tomorrow? You may have thought that this Magic Kindergarten was hard but just wait until you get done with my patented “Rainbow Dash Flying Lessons”.” She said flying over and nudging me in the ribs.

“Well if Twilight’s magic lessons went over this well. I can’t wait to see how tomorrow will go…although I expect it may be slightly more painful. But in any case, bring it on Rainbow.” I said holding out my fist which she bumped with her hoof. Afterwards she flew back to the group and Twilight came over, I sat down next to where she stopped and looked around at everyone.

“Well I guess that today’s lessons were a success Twilight.”

“Yeah I think so to. Sweetie Belle, Dinky, and you now have a good grasp on magic that will get better with practice.” She stared at the ground while responding.

“Well we had a great teacher.” I said as I took the opportunity to ruffle her mane.

She giggled for a moment while swatting my hand away, after fixing her mane she looked at me and asked, “Do you really mean it?” her face was the definition of adorable.

“You’re better than Celestia.” I said putting my arm over her withers and pulling her in. We stayed like that for a couple of seconds before she spoke again.

“That was a nice punch. I didn’t know you could calculate where the boulder would land that fast, you made sure it would go somewhere that wouldn’t hurt anypony right?”

My body tensed up at her question and my eyes widened in shock.

“Dan?” I looked down to her to see her looking up at me.

“You know maybe we should go check…it might help me sleep better tonight…so I don’t have a problem tomorrow…not that I’m worried or anything.” I hope my tone didn’t give me away.

After pausing for a second or two Twilight got up and turned around to the group. “Alright everypony we have one more thing to do today. Let’s go make sure that Dan didn’t hurt anypony with that Boulder.” To which the crowd responded by breaking out into laughter for the third time today.

Author's Note:

A NEW CHAPTER HAS APPEARED. sorry it took awhile. between work, being lazy, Pokemon X; WHICH IS TOTALLY SUPER AWESOME BTW!!!, and other things i just didn't wirte it as quickly.

This is one of two "learning" chapters. And i bet yoyu can probably guess what is coming next...because if you read the chapter you should already know. AND ANOTHER BET!!!! I bet you might be able to guess which SPECIFIC piece of music i am going to be using...cause it was only used in one of the greatest movies about flying...OF ALL TIME!!!!!

So sit back, tense up, and wait for the next chapter...

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