Jack is a former Marine, after 14 Years in the Corps, he is transported into the The MLPVerse with only his Trusty combat Knife, and his clothing.
Yep. HiE Fic. And I know it kinda Sucks, so, Yeah.
Sorry to waste your time here.
Jack is a former Marine, after 14 Years in the Corps, he is transported into the The MLPVerse with only his Trusty combat Knife, and his clothing.
Yep. HiE Fic. And I know it kinda Sucks, so, Yeah.
24.media.tumblr.com/4cf870fc3e06c65b892217028d500de5/tumblr_meovs6yqWm1ro4ew1o1_r1_500.gif
Burt Gummer (Tremors) X Ponies crossover = Still not attained, Para-military Paranoid? Check.... Gonna read on ebook? Check Gonna pre fav? Check
Where to begin, where to begin? I'm going to start by coloring the words that do not need to be capitalized.
"Jack is a former Marine, after 14 Years in the Corps, he is transported into the The MLPVerse with only his Trusty combat Knife, and his clothing."
"Yep. HiE Fic. And I know it kinda Sucks, so, Yeah."
"( A Bit rushed. I Know.)"
Running after you get stabbed in the stomach? Romance out of nowhere?
I'm out. (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
COMPLIMENT: Well, at least you know it sucks.
i think its going to be good i will read all of it so i will tell what i think at chap. 4 so far you have wanted me to keep reading
good so far
a little rushed slow down a bit take the time to make us see him the room hes in and stuff like that so far im like this
needs to be fixed and im going to see what will happen *favs* there be happy about that and you really need to slow down make us see things your rushing it but still good i think
was reading chapter names, saw the word 'Love?' in the fourth chapter, and spit out my cereal. yeesh, thats a bad sign, and i'm talking from experience. still, i know know how hard likes and favorites are to come by with soldier HiEs so i gave it a like and a favorite.
Interesting
Too rushed
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Like my Archery teacher says, slooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit doooooooooooooooooooooooooooooown
I'm srry but I'm just laughing a little... element of power? Seriously? Intelligence also? Wow...im not saying its horrible I'm just saying its unexpected... and a human with wings that is a long lost brother to the princesses
1777620
Yeah, stupid, I know.
Couldn't think of any other elements, like I said: with a twist!
The sheer amount of grammatical errors alone repelled me from this story. Sorry, but this story is terrible. Chapters are too rushed and short, too.
Short clop scene... not complaining good stories don't really need clop also short chapter and seems a bit rushed... you don't need to fill in a dateline unless you are actually a fast writers just take your time
Good chapter but JARVIS and iron man suit and a secret Bunker under an awesome house with a ton of weapons and now a robot eye?... cool
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Is that good or bad?
1795412
Thank you.
For some reason common names aren't that's common anymore... i only know of. 1 Jack and that is you
And there it is. The end of Jack's life.
The beginning to Jack and Dash's life!
that was the ending? alright! looking forward to more.
1803439
Thanks!
Looking forward to making more!
I was going to complain there isn't any battles other than one and people would most likely leave without any more but you just finished it
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Remember, I'm working on a sequel.
There will be battle.
1804990 make them Russians who career under a drunk commanders rein and he has 2 more dozen bottles left so he stays drunk on vodka
yea u realy dont need clop moments lit ur readers use there imagination
Objection!
Overuled...
Damnit... :-(
Yeah, you are going through it like the clappers. Also you may want to keep tabs on your grammar.
I disagree with FireGnat. everyone has there problems don't worry about it that much, only one tip just read the story a few times before you post is online
I think the sequel needs to hurry.
1908520
What do you mean?
uhm.... Where to start?
This is too rushed for one, and, its hard to even read this as all of the story is single paragraphs. You should make a new line if a different character speaks. And, not trying to sound whiny or anything, but the stories are just too short...
Have you finished the sequel??? Is there a title??? Can you put a link to it???
wow. short
awesome wish he had some reliable gun that can work with a ham sandwich in it like the
AK-47 or the type 56(type 56 comes with a bayonet
oh......head to the alps and build a house. make a nuke install a dictatorship thats what i would do.
This is.... certainly entertaining...
10073644
Inspiring more like.