A Para-military Paranoid in Equestria.

by The Last Renegade


An old friend and happiness.

I woke up and changed my clothes swiftly. I needed a favor. " JARVIS, tell Dash I might be gone for a week or two. I made an actual camera so she can see what I see. Tell her that she should meet me at the top of my house. Two hours okay?" " Yes master."

I kissed Dash on the forehead and made for the door, I needed a favor. I took off and headed for the Castle, arriving in minutes.

" Guards! Tell the Princesses I need them." They saluted and got Luna and Celestia. " Yes? What is it?" Tia asked me. " I need a huge favor. I know you brought me here. I need you to send me back to get a friend." They looked at me, worried. " I've got a gun. I promise you I'll be fine." " I...I suppose we could send you for a week. Take this." She told me, floating a small box to me.

" It will get you and your friend back." I nodded. " We need to get to my house. I'll provide housing and other essentials."

* Two hours later. *
Top of Jack's compound.
"And to see what I see, press that button okay?" Dash nodded. I kissed her and stuck my hand through the portal. " Goodbye for now. Two weeks tops!" I yelled, getting sucked into the portal. I got up and, cars. I was in L.A. where my friend lived.

After two days of wandering around, I found his house. I knocked on the door. " Who is it?!" A man yelled. " A friend!" I yelled back, the door opening. " Who are you?" " Captain Jack Fifteen. You Kyle? " " Jack? Is that really you?!" I shook his hand. "Where you been?" " Well. You're a brony right?" He nodded. " I was transported to Equestria. Turns out I'm the brother of Celestia and Luna. Now, for the real reason I'm here." I told him, taking out the box.

"Would you like to come back with me?" I asked him. He was happy as could be. " Hell yes!" We fistbumped. " Let's go. Get your things. Clothes, and all that." He rushed to his bedroom and packed. " Goddamn man! So good to see you. I thought you died!" I pointed to my eye. "Lost sight. Bionic eye. Pretty badass. Very painful too. Anyway, ready?" He nodded happily " What about your family?"

"They uh..." " I'm sorry. We have to go now." I grabbed his arm and put his hand on the box, activating it.

We woke up in front of my place. " Woooooow" He said, obviously shocked. " This is my place. Underground base." I let us inside.

" Dash! I'm back! Meet Kyle!" She came out at an amazing rate. " Hi! I'm Rainbow Dash. Jack's marefriend." His eyebrow raised. " So..." " We have plenty of space here. You will meet my sisters in the morning. It's getting late." "You really scored didn't you?" I smiled at him " More than I deserve. I have a family, a lover, many friends, a house, and now I'm not the only human here." I took him on the tour, showing him to JARVIS, and finally his room. " Well, Night pal." He was fast asleep.

It was morning, and I heard Dash and Kyle talking. I walked out into the dinning room. " Morning." I told them. " Oh hey, Dash and I were just talking about life here." " Don't worry man. I'll find you somepony to uhh... be friends with. " I nuged him with my elbow I'll take you out to hit the town with Dash and introduce you."

We got up after breakfast and hit the town. First was AJ. He was sort of like her. Southern accent, very truthful, and strong. "Alright, first is Applejack. I'll fly you there. We'll meet Dash there." I told him. " Alright. Hop on my back." "Uhh..." I looked at him. " It's not a that kind of thing. I'm transporting you since you don't have wings. Crap! I forgot about he wonderbolts!"

" Wonderbolts? What about them?" " Hearts and Hooves day. I gave Rainbow VIP tickets." " What'd she give you?" I chuckled. " I was happy with just having her with me." " So, I've always wondered, how old are you?" " Thirty-four." I told him.

Kyle got comfy and I took off. " Don't take the riding thing wrong way! You know, I'm thinking about a special boot camp for the royal gaurds! What do you think?!" " As long as I can help!" " Gladly! You can help me with anything! Like practice!" I yelled, wind rushing through my hair.

We landed at Sweet Apple Acres a few minutes later. " Alright, walk with me." We walked into the barn, where AJ was feeding the animals. " Morning AJ. There's someone from back home I want you to meet. He's a human like me." she turned around. " Kyle! Come on in!" I yelled as Kyle walked through the doorway. " Howdy Kyle. Any friend a Jack's a friend a mine."

" Nice ta meet ya." " Name's Applejack." " Well. I'll leave you two for now." I said, walking outside. " Oh hey. We need to get to the Wonderbolt's thing." I scratched my beard. " Sure. Let me tell AJ and Kyle." I said, poking my head back into the barn.

" Hey AJ! Can you show Kyle to the princesses and around town?" " Sure sugarcube." " Thanks." I told her, going back to Dash. " Come on, I'll fly you there." " Okay..." She said, hoping on to me. I flapped my wing as fast as I could.

We arrived shortly at the stadium " Tickets please." A Pegusus asked us. I handed the tickets over and he directed us to an empty VIP booth high above. We sat down as the show started, or at least, I sat down. ' This is great. I gave her a great gift and a great man.' I thought to myself. " Who do you like more, me or the Wonderbolts?" She just looked at me.

"I love you much more. You give me all I could need and much more. You support what I want to do." " And that's the way it should be. Trust me, there's alot of better people you want to be with." " Don't say that. I love you and only you." I kissed her on the cheek. " I've seen things about because of the less amount of stallions so they get a herd. You know anything about that?" She had to think a minute.

" Yeah, only a few stallions do that though. Again, I only love you." "And I love only you too. Now, you going to watch them?" I asked as she turned around. " You know, Kyle's like a little brother to me. I've known him a long time. He was the closest person I had to a family."

After the show, we went down to the stadium where Soarin' was giving away autographs to ponies. Rainbow waited in line while I waited for Spitfire to meet me. Rainbow got her picture autographed and waited by me.

Not ten minutes later, Spitfire had found us. " Hey. You must be Jack and Rainbow Dash. " "The one and only!" Dash yelled out, boasting. " Yep. I'm Jack alright." Spitfire signaled for us to follow her for the try out. " So, how much did the private try outs cost?" " Alot. Don't worry. We're good on money."

Rainbow blew away the Wonderbolts with a sonic rainboom. They even wanted to make her a main Wonderbolt. " But remember; you might not see him for a while." " Oh I wouldn't worry. His hands are wonderful for massages. They will relax you more than anypony in Equestria."

" We could use a good relaxing. Can you give me a demenstration?" " Sure." Dash said, as I walked to the massage room. "Alright, just lay down on your stomach." I told her, cracking my fingers. As I started with the massage, Soarin' walked in.

" Wha?" " Don't worry Soarin'. He's just trying out as a relaxation specialist." " Okay. I'll come back later." He said. " No. You're fine. What do you need?" Spitfire asked him. " We need to set up a training program for Rainbow Dash." She had to think of a good schedule. " I'll think of something." she told him as I finished. " That was great! I've never been more relaxed! You got the job!"

"Cool. Thanks, now I can still see Dash." I said as I walked out of the room. "Oh yeah... what are my hours?" I asked Spitfire. " Monday to thursday, 8 A.M. to 6 P.M. Sound good?" " Yeah, sounds good. I start tomorrow?" " With those hands, you think you can also handle fixing things?" I nodded. " Count on me." I told her, walking out again.

" So how'd it go?" " I got the job as a relaxation specialist and handyman." " Cool. Let's get back to Kyle huh?" I nodded, taking off to find Kyle.

We found him an hour later at the Carousel Boutique, talking with Rarity. " Hey Kyle. Oh Rarity, I'm going to need more clothes." "Of course darling!" " Nothing too fancy though." She got right to work on the clothes. " Alright. Kyle we gotta go. I work for the Wonderbolts now. Along with Dash. " " Jack... I think I'm in love." My eyebrow raised. " Really? Who?"

"Fluttershy." I patted him on the back. " You've got to tell her. How do you think I got Dash?" " You're right. First thing in the morning.

After that, we headed back home. " So, what time will you be working?" " Monday to Thursday, 8 to 6." I told him as I landed. "Alright." I yawned out. " I'm dead tired." I said, laying down onto my bed. Rainbow was already asleep, so I just climbed in.

* Morning *
7 A.M.

I woke up at about 6:30 and woke Rainbow up. "Wake up. It's 6:30. We have to get ready." She just groaned so I shook her " Alright... I'm up." " I'll get breakfast ready." I told her, walking downstairs where Kyle was eating. " Morning" " Mornin'." " You know Kyle? I think of you as a little brother. And yes. Little. You're twenty. I'm fourteen years older than you." I told him as I took out an MRE to eat.

We talked for a while before Dash came down. " Food's on the table. I'll wait for you outside." She nodded at me. When I walked outside, I saw a little filly shivering on the ground. " Hey, what are you doing here?" Attached to her was a note. It read:

Dear Jack and Rainbow Dash,

I cannot take care of this filly, as I can't afford to.
I hope to see you raise her as you're own.
I am very sorry.

I took the filly inside, away from the cold. " Hey Dash. C'mere huh?" I asked her. " What?" She saw one look at the little pony and said " Oh my gosh! What do we do?" " JARVIS?" "Yes master?" " We found this filly outside. We don't know what to do."

"Don't worry." Kyle spoke up. " I'll treat her as my own. I know a thing or two." "JARVIS keep an eye on him. If he needs anything, help him" " Yes master"

As I arrived at work, I went straight for Spitfire. I knocked on the door and it opened. "Hey. What's up?" " Well... let's just say somepony left us a little filly to take care of. I can still come in though. She's with Kyle. One of my old friends." "Well. You have quite a bit to fix. Soarin' bumps into things alot." I scratched my head. "Alright boss. I'll get on it." I said to her, walking out to fix the things Soarin' broke, including a shower, a sink, and a ripped suit.

I was done with my work before noon. Spitfire said I had my own office, so I decided to find it. After twenty minutes of looking, I found it. It was a decent sized room, because it was Rainbow's office too. " Hey. Shared office, cool." "Yeah. At least I get to see my stallion still." "Yeah. You'd go crazy without me." " It's true. I can't stand being away from you."

Then, without warning, I fell in pain. I don't know why, but I did.

*** Kyle POV ***
I had arrived at hospital as soon as I heard about Jack. They were looking into what had happened. I walked into his room. " I'm deeply sorry. He has to go into surgery. There's less than a ten percent chance he will survive. He collapsed because he had been hit by a magic blast two months ago."

I instantly saw Rainbow start crying. " He'll be alright. He's a very strong guy." I tried to comfort her.

*** Jack POV ***
I was in a pure white room except for a dark figure. " Who are you?!" No reply. "WHO ARE YOU?!" I yelled louder. " Don't worry Jack. It is me. Luna. " " Luna... what are you doing here?" " You are dying Jack. The only way for you to live, is for you to follow your dreams." "But..." " No. No buts. Listen to me. What is your dream in life?" I thought for a moment. " To make Rainbow happy."

"Then marry her. It's the only way to get rid of your disease.." " I don't have a disease. " " That's the problem. Nobody cared for you on Earth. Ponies care for you. You are their prince. No matter where you are from. You keep believing it's too early for marriage. It's not. Go Jack. And make Rainbow Dash the happiest mare alive. I'll let you go now."

Just then, I woke up with a yell. " What?! JACK! YOU'RE ALIVE!" Dash exclaimed. " I need to ask you something." "What?" She asked. " Rainbow Dash, Will you marry me?" "OH MY GOSH! YES!" She screamed. " I promise to make you the happiest mare alive."

" You just did." She told me, hugging me tightly. " How are you feeling?" "Much better now that I asked that. It's like we were made for each other." I heard a voice in my head. I recognized it as Tia's. ' You were. I made her for you. And I made you for her. I made it so she wanted somepony with no fear. None. And somepony who is not going to give up. Somepony who loves her for herself. Somepony to protect her, with battle scars to prove it. Somepony who was awesome.That somepony is you, Jack. She is also perfect for you. Kyle and Fluttershy are also perfect for each other. The rest of the ponies will find other ponies.'

* 1 Week later *
The marriage.
"Thanks for letting me be your best man." Kyle said. " Couldn't have chosen a better man. Help me with this, I want to look badass." "Are you kidding? You saved my life. You've saved many other lives. You're a total badass. Now let's go. Don't want to keep a mare waiting." I took a breath mint. " You look scared. " I put my hand on his shoulder. " I can't be scared. You know what I've been through. I now know what love is. Ever since I saw Dash, I knew. Also, are you like, you know, a dad now?'

" I guess so. I've been spending more time at Fluttershy's taking care of her animals and Mystic." " That what you named her?" He chuckled. " Yeah. It was at the meeting."

I walked down the isle waiting for Rainbow. A moment later, she came down the isle.

" Rainbow Dash, Do you take Jack to be your lawfully wedded husband?" " I do." She said. Kyle smiled. " And do you, Jack, take Rainbow Dash to be your lawfully wedded wife?" " I do." " Then by the power vested in me by Princess Celestia, I now pronounce you, Man and mare! You may kiss the bride!"

I knelt down and kissed her deeply. After that, we flew away into the sunset for the 'Just married' Party that pinkie had set up.

We arrived at Sugarcube Corner and walked in to almost the entire town, including Kyle, Luna, and Celestia. " I'm proud of you Jack. I knew you could do it." "Not without Kyle and the two best sisters ever."

The party raged on into the night before ponies started heading home. " Thank you Jack." Twilight said to me. " You proved that Rainbow was not a filly fooler, while also making her the happiest mare alive. I just hope the rest of us will find somepony."

"Twilight, I know the rest of you will. I know it. You are all family to me. I've been through rough times." I turned to Dash." I've lived to tell my tale. This is the end of my story. But it is just the beginning of our story. I promise to protect. I promise to serve. I promise to live to tell the tale of my life to our grandchildren."

I got on to podium " And I promise to live a good life, and to ensure saftey to Equestria. That is why I am opening Jack's boot camp for the best of the best of the Royal Guards. It will be a Spec Ops squadron of the top fighters, not afraid of death. This is the end of my tale! But the beginning of our tale. As a couple! United forever!"

The crowd was cheering at my speech. They didn't care about where I was from. They accepted me. Fuck Earth! " I don't want to go back to my home planet! I am home now!" I yelled, leaving with Dash to celebrate a new life. " I promise love you forever." " I promise to love you forever too Jack."