One Picture's Worth
"All I'm saying is one thousand," the Captain of the Guard said.
"What about it?" asked the Minister of the Interior.
"It is the highest number. I mean, where you gonna go from there?" asked the captain. "You have a brigade of two hundred ponies. You add another and you have four hundred. Add two more and eight hundred. And then one extra unit and you have one thousand. Where can you go from there?"
The minister and the Chief Steward nodded at the captain's wise words. "Yeah, where can you go from there?" the minister said. "One thousand is truly the largest number."
"Gentleponies, can we please return to the matter at hoof?" Celestia asked her council impatiently.
"Of course, Your Majesty," the Chief Steward said. "The preparations for the one thousandth anniversary of your coronation are proceeding on schedule. My chief aide is just finalizing the report and will be in shortly. I apologize for the delay."
"But what about next year?" asked the minister, who had had a troubling thought.
"Next year?" asked the captain.
"If this year is the one thousandth year, and next year is one more, then won't next year be the one thousand and one year celebration? One thousand and one is bigger than one thousand."
Silence fell around the table as the council as they contemplated this unexpected development.
"Look, one thousand is the largest number and that is that," decreed Celestia.
"What about one thousand and one? Or one thousand and two? " the Chief Steward asked, following along the minister's line of thought. "Those are larger than one thousand."
He looked questioningly at Celestia, hoping the wise princess could explain how this could be. The answer came in a flare of Celestia's magic, and he was gone, banished to some far off land. A shriek came from the doorway, followed by a clatter of a scroll hitting the floor, as the aide saw her boss disappear.
"At last. You have the reports on the preparation for the celebration, Chief Steward?" Celestia asked the former aide. "Please summarize."
The newly promoted steward looked at the spot where her predecessor had just been seated. With a gulp, she scanned the report on the floor before her. "Ah yes, of course, Your Majesty. The chefs have assured me all the food will be ready and perfect. The Grand Ballroom is decorated. All of Canterlot has been informed of the parade. And all two thousand invitees have confirmed that they are coming."
"How many have confirmed?" Celestia asked.
"Two thousand, Your Maj---" And the position of Chief Steward was vacant again, in the wake of another teleportation spell's woosh.
"One thousand. One. Thousand. Largest number. Simple," Celestia muttered.
The Minister of Interior shifted.
"You have a thought, minister?" Celestia asked.
The minister hesitated, clearly uncomfortable with answering, but when a god princess asks a question, one answers. "...The military."
"What about it?" asked the captain.
"Well, how many units do you have?"
"We currently have fifteen units," the captain said proudly.
"And each of those consists of two hundred ponies?" the minister asked. The captain nodded. "Then you have fifteen times two hundred ponies. That's three thousand ponies. More than one thousand." He looked around the room, clearly distressed.
"Minister... why do you make me do this to you? Haven't I always been good to you? Did I not promote you from being a mayor of a small town to this position?" Celestia asked, a dangerous tone to her voice.
Luna, who had just entered the chamber, chimed in. "He has a point, sister. Are there not ten thousand stars in my night sky? If so, how can one thousand be the largest number?"
"Moon!" Celestia shouted, her horn flaring. And just like that, her sister was gone. "Um, she was always jealous of my day," Celestia said, looking up at the jagged hole in ceiling while debris rained down around her. "So let it be written."
The meeting was temporarily halted as the court historians were brought in and it was so written. With that done, the meeting resumed.
"Now, Minister, you were saying?" asked Celestia.
"I'm sorry, I'm just so confused," blubbered the minister. "So many numbers. One thousand and one. One thousand, two hundred, I just don't know anymore..." He sat silently for a second. "And what about ten thousand stars?"
"Banished! And then thrown into the dungeon in the place he is banished to!" Again Celestia's horn flared.
The captain dove underneath the round meeting table. When the flare died away, the captain peeked up, to meet Celestia's glare. "I'm sorry, Princess. We were just talking about numbers and we got carried away, that's all. I mean, there's a hundred thousand ponies out there that--" He halted under Celestia's even more intense glare. When he did not find himself banished, he cautiously continued, "There's a... thousand... ponies out there that don't know that one thousand is the largest number, Your Majesty."
Celestia waited for him to carry on.
"I suppose I could go out there and let them know that one thousand is the largest number," the captain suggested.
"See that it is so, Captain. See that it is so."
"On the longest day of the..." The prophet looked nervously at the two royal guards who stood glowering behind her, before continuing, "...Thousandth year, the stars will aid in her escape, and she will bring about nighttime eternal!"
"Los Pegasus tied the windspeed record of one thousand wing power, set earlier this year by Vanhoover.
"In other news, Fillydelphia was devastated today by an infestation of one thousand parasprites. Three ponies were injured and a thousand pounds of foodstuffs eaten. Princess Celestia has pledged one thousand bits in aid."
Celestia looked at her prized student and spoke, "Even my knowledge of the empire is limited. But what I do know is that it contains a powerful magic. One thousand years ago, King Sombra, a unicorn whose heart was black as night..."
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With events relevant to both the season one and three openers happening one thousand years ago, it reminded me of this Mr. Show skit.
So I wrote this silly little thing.
The title is One Thousand Years Ago
Six instances of one thousand words in the description alone
The title of the chapter references a thousand words
Thirty three instances of thousand in story
And the total word count is one thousand
Mind...Blown...
The excellence in this story is well over nine thousand.
One billion! (runs away)
I actually found it funny, well done!
Snkkkt. I like.
I was also impressed by the amount of one thousands. Including in the word count.
1682552
One trillion! *takes cover behind you*
1682465 TO THE MOON!
1682613 A googolplex googolplex...
1682794
And that's how suns explode!
Thanks to all that read the story. And I shall think fondly of those that will shortly be banished and placed in a dungeon in the place they are banished to.
1682679
There are positions open in the cabinet, should you wish to apply.
1682571
Thanks. As someone who has read and enjoyed a thousand words you have written, this means a lot.
1682451
1682613
Well, it was one thousand. Where was I going to go from there?
1688024
Isn't it obvious? You wrote it yourself.
To the MOON!
1688027
To the MOON!. Sort of
Very silly and very cute, I love it!
1000 is the biggest number and Equestria is flat, everypony knows that.
Why didn't I read this sooner?
BRILLIANT. BRILLIANT, I SAY!!! And this explains so much, so well. You, good sir, are awesome. :thumbsup:
2336965
Thanks
Haha, it's kind of funny how we never hear about anything involving a number bigger than 1000.
Well done author.
I enjoyed this a lot more than I feel I should have.
A shame it doesn't have a thousand views.
2409524
Thanks. Someday it will hopefully get there. Luckily, people seem to enjoy it, even help promote it a bit, so yay for that and them. Exactly 30% of the way there. Wonder if I could get Knighty to cap its views at that total if it ever does, because that would be awesome, and not at all because I worry about what Celestia will do to me if it exceeds it.
1682613 Infinity. (teleports out of city)
A story that's exactly 1000 words!
One thousand years... Is this Celestia's attempt to hide her "actual" age? XD
8292552
: When one thousand years you reach, look as good, you will not.
5343743
Did you not read Celestia's decree? One thousand is the largest number! There is none larger than one thousand!
1000 word story. Clever girl
This reminds me of a song from The Beatles.
...1(000) is the loneliest number... Sing