Just a story about two background ponies at a donut shop...or is it?
I wanted to do a sequel to "Two Background Ponies Eating Cookies" after seeing how popular it was, but I was short on material as I pretty much hit all my nuances with the show in the first installment. I basically had to change things up a bit. This might still work as an on-stage production, but it would have to be an ensemble (something more akin to what "Second City" might do) than just a dialogue.
I regret to say I don't think this is quite as good as the first. Since I am already aware of that, please don't overload the comments with things like: "Not as good as the first", "The first was better", "This was alright but the first was funnier", etc.
The image used is public domain.
word count seems bugged... it says
I loved this story, loved the characters, and the overall feel. It was lighthearted, funny, and creative. Those two stallions would be great characters for further writings (if you chose to do so). Great job!
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I think the reason for that is because I tried to submit the whole story for approval prior to publishing the actual story content. It seems fixed now.
Ok, pardon my ignorance, but what are the second through fourth steps of the scientific method? In fact what are any of the steps of the scientific method? Also the sixth circle of hell reference, don't they have Tartarus instead of hell?
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Heh...well, not to get too technical as this is a comedy, but...
There are no precise steps exactly to the scientific method as there's flexibility, but the general format is (1) Identify a problem, (2) Propose a hypothesis to explain the problem, (3) Conduct an experiment to test the hypothesis, (4) Analyze the results, (5) Make a conclusion regarding the hypothesis. Twilight gets the "juicy bits" that require a lot of intelligence.
As for the afterlife, yeah, Tartarus or at least Erebus might have made more sense...but you have to go for wordplay in this sort of thing. :P "Sends them to the sixth circle of Hell" sounds a bit funnier than "sends them to Tartarus".
2967520 Ah I see, I thought Twilight would associated with step 1 as she usually causes the problem, haha kidding.
Also drawing conclusions is kinda her thing too, with the letters to the princess and all, but yeah the "juicy bits" definately suit her.
"The sixth circle of Tartarus" kinda works though don't it? Still I'm being nitpicky, this story was hilarious.
I thought it was really funny. I would hate to stuck with some crap cutie mark. Though I wonder if tattoos became a thing if you could modify your mark somehow.
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I'd love to do more with Incarlsistency and Sam-Listens-to-Carl's-Problems (and Misty Meadow from my other stories, frankly), but the hardest part of writing these things is coming up with material. It looks like I got the original and the sequel out in a couple days of each other, but I originally wrote "Two Background Ponies Eating Cookies" way back in December over a day or two. It wasn't until after Season Three was over that I started to think: "Maybe I can get Carl's thoughts on having a new alicorn to worship...", and not until months later I finally got enough topics to do a sequel.
I'll see how popular this gets. If it gets big enough, I'm thinking I'll either try to see if I can find more material during Season Four/Equestria Girls (humanized Carl and Sam might be work a look), or I'll write a longer one where Carl and Sam go on their own little adventure. (Kind of like how Jay and Silent Bob were "Shakespearean gravediggers" for years before they finally got their own movie.)
2966704
After watching "Equestria Girls", I definitely have enough material to make this a trilogy. I may try getting that out within the next few weeks.
3045076 I look forward to your next masterpiece. Don't disappoint me
3045076 Everyone keeps talking about Equestria Girls; what is it?
... Good story, by the way
3097418
I'm sad to say I can't tell if you're joking with me or serious. Going on the assumption that you're serious...
"Equestria Girls" was a 70 minute movie/episode that got released in limited theaters this summer, is currently out on DVD, and will air on television in September. The plotline is the newly-crowned Princess Twilight Sparkle has her crown, which, we know, is also the Magic Element of Harmony, stolen by Celestia's former "star pupil" prior to her, Sunset Shimmer, who after being corrupted by a lust for power fled into another world where the dominant life form is humans rather than ponies and is, in many ways, the modern USA yet centered around a high school rather than a magic kingdom. Sunset Shimmer gained "power" (in a sense) in that world by poisoning everyone against each other and using gossip and rumors to eliminate anyone who got in her way, so that everyone was so busy being at each other's throats that she was able to ascend the school "pecking order". Twilight basically is told to go in there by Celestia to get the element back (Celestia, of course, once again doing nothing herself, sending Twilight into a dangerous situation she knows nothing about [it could have been Mordor on the other side of that mirror for all she knew], and this time not letting anyone go with her as it would disrupt the balance of reality by having too many "duplicates" of a person in the same world...although it appears at least Spike could come along, no problem.) She's instantly turned into a human herself on crossing through and finds the world entirely populated by humanized versions of the people of Equestria.
Well, it turns out Sunset lost the crown soon after coming back and, since it looks identical to the crown for the Princess of the Fall Formal, it was turned in by humanized Fluttershy to be given to whoever gets named Princess of the Fall Formal, which Sunset has won three years in a row. Rather than tell the principal the whole story and just get it back (which, as it eventually turns out, would have been the better course of action as everyone believes Twilight's story implicitly when she finally comes clean with it), she decides she has to win the crown "fair and square" by beating Sunset at her own game although she has all of three days to develop the necessary social skills, popularity, and name recognition to do so before not only does the Fall Formal take place...but the portal closes for the next four years. (Based on the timing of the portal's opening, we can start to deduce Twilight's age, though.)
...So, it's kind of like the "My Little Pony" version of "Casino Royale", when you think about it.
In spite of my nitpicking, as well as humanized Carl's, it was pretty good. A more satisfying ending to the third season than the rushed "Mystical Magical Cure" (Did I get that name right?) The villain ended up being better than King Sombre, at least, in my opinion.
3098515 Cool, and I was being serious. I'll have to watch this!
It wasn't just the 90s, it was the early 2000s as well (2000-2010).
The story was good. Like!
3281581 yeah, i remember pizza hut coupons or something for reading when i was in like 2nd or 3rd grade.
This is especially egronious considering they just mentioned that they don't have fingers.
A Dr. teeth and the electric mayhem reference? Amazing.
Wow this paints a way more cynical picture of Equestria.
8495398
Heh...the original "Two Background Ponies Eating Cookies" was written after I had become a fan in between Season Two and Season Three and plowed through the first two seasons in a marathon. This one, somewhat more obviously, came out at the end of Season Three. I did one specific to the first Equestria Girls movies ("Two Background Humans Eating Cookies").
However, after that and "Two Background Ponies Go on an Adventure", things started to change. I'm one of the members of the fan community who thought "Princess Twilight Sparkle" was not that good of an episode, and I thought: "How would Sam and Carl react to seeing that there were no more Elements of Harmony, especially since Discord now has free reign?" I ended up writing a blog post: "Two Background Ponies Quickie: 'Princess Twilight Sparkle' Aftermath". The next week, I ended up doing another for "Castle-Mane-Ia". Now it's tradition for me to do one for every new episode that comes out. This one's a real challenge. Some episodes have something I can work with so well the blog post ends up being a small fanfic (like "A Royal Problem"); others I honestly can't think of anything and I cheat my way out of.
I wanted to do another official fanfic, so eventually I wrote "Two Background Humans Adamantly Refuse to Eat Cookies" for the "Rainbow Rocks" film...but FIMfiction rejected it, saying it had nothing to do with MLP:FIM. (Even though the Dazzlings appeared in it and, toward the end, the pony versions of Sam and Carl showed up.) I ended up posting it as a blog post instead. However, I also tried to compile all of the blogs for a season into "season recap" fanfics with each chapter being a different episode with a small bit of joke commentary from Sam and Carl in between each one. FIMfiction allowed me to post it for Season Four, but when I did one for Season Five they rejected it, saying it wasn't fanfiction but just my commentary in "pony form". I got so frustrated that I eventually cancelled plans for the sequel to "Two Background Ponies Go on an Adventure" ("Two Background Ponies Endure the Apocalypse"...which would have featured, among other things, Sam and Carl meeting "god" [Lauren Faust], Princess Luna unhappily being forced into the role of the Pony of the Apocalypse, and a time-space paradox that was caused by the events of the music video "Friendship Through the Ages" [in which Sunset Shimmer, an Equestrian, was riding a horse]) and now I just confine myself to the blog.
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I too, have ran afoul of the moderators many times. You could always concoct bullshit frame stories. I think I did that once and got away with it. (Though it is in some ways easier to get away with stuff with the self-publishing option. The flipside is that they crack down on stupid stuff they used to let fly, like story title length.