• Member Since 22nd Jul, 2012
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Mudpony


Confound these wretched equines! For every one I fling away, a dozen more vex me!

T
Source

After Diamond Tiara loses a bet to the Cutie Mark Crusaders, she has to ask Snails to the Hearts and Hooves Day Dance. But when Snails turns to Sweetie Belle for help in impressing his date, she realizes she is starting to develop feelings for him. And so what was to have been a simple victory for the CMC turns into something a bit more complicated.

Chapters (11)
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Comments ( 164 )

Interesting story you have here :moustache: Liked and favorited. I wanna see where this goes :twilightsmile:

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Huh..cool uncommon I like it!:twilightsmile:

....I think I like where this is going. Gotta love loopholes!

Thanks all. Chapter 2 is up. And now I'm off to work on giving Diamond Tiara a miserable day at school.

This stuff is good. Just needs some polishing. If the competition allows people other than the author to edit I'm here.

1049896

Glad you're enjoying it and, yeah, it could definitely use polish.

As far as I know, nothing says you cannot have someone help you with editing and such. The competition is mostly for fun, after all, just to get people writing. The downside though is the one month timeline, which limits my ability to act upon editorial input, at least until the contest is over or the tale is done, whichever comes first. But, even so, I can fix smaller things and it would be nice to have a message box full of bigger things to fix up once I do have time. And, of course, knowing of past mistakes should help me avoid making the same ones in future chapters, so I can focus on making all new ones.

Short version: having an editor would make me :twilightsmile:

1052453
Ack, changeling stalker!

I feel for Snails, I've had this situation happen to me, before :pinkiesick:

Good job, Scootaloo, Applebloom, you're new pair of local bullies. Congratulations! Maybe you'll kick Snails while you on the roll? Maybe make fun of Snips? Don't be shy, Cutie-Mark-Crusaders-New-Jerks!

Also hoping that Snails will show them all. :rainbowkiss:

Go Snails we're all rut-en for ya!:yay:

And chapter 4. Had originally planned this chapter to cover a week, not just a day, but Sweetie sort of hijacked it and made it about her Saturday. I can't say no to her. But that's okay, will work out for the best, I think. Trusting a CMC to make things work, there's no way that can go wrong, right?

So finally another chapter (as well as a few more grammatical corrections on previous ones). This one moves things along a bit, covering most of two weeks worth of time. But that's all good, I think you'll find.

And it also means that chapter 6 covers the day after this chapter, Saturday, the day of the dance. And hopefully, I'll get that written a lot faster than this chapter :scootangel:

The plot thickens. I am intrigued :rainbowhuh:
Keep up the fine work, good sir.

Hmmm. Something's fishy about this Heart Throb character. A little rude, but that's not it. Guess we'll have to wait and see.

1466972

Yeah, the plot needed thickening. The love triangle was not working so well with only two points :) And will do my best.

1467307

It is probably just that he has a girl's name. :pinkiecrazy:

Chapter Six, in which ponies dance and do other stuff.

Geez, 8650 words in this chapter, and that is after I cut out a few sections. Over 25k words in total now. And have hit 430 unique views on the first chapter.

Next up, Chapter Seven, some quiet time at the hospital.

Snails I salute you.

Hah! I knew there was something fishy about him!

Also: Mud-pony? Yikes. Not the right town to sling that about, if there ever was one.

Sweetie Belle should have put laxatives on DT's punch :D

Maybe Snails and Diamond Tiara will end up in love for real? :heart::heart:

Yay, up to 450 views on the first chapter. Onward to 500!

1551935
I've got to say I've grown to like him quite a bit, even if he is a pain to write dialogue for. A bit oblivious and not too bright, yet determined to chase his dreams and do what is right. My idea file has a bunch of entries for a Snails related series thanks to how much he's grown on me.

1552126
It just fit on multiple levels. I got to use my handle, tie in to part of the title of the story, and gave Snails the extra little nudge he needed. Heart Throb should be glad the show was not set in Appleloosa. "Get the rope!" :)

1554213
That would have made things... messier.

1558340
Let's see what this here Magic 8 Ball has to say. *shakes the Magic 8 Ball* "Better not tell you now." Stupid, worthless 8 Ball!

"Oh come on. This is Tiara we're talking about. That's about as likely as..." Apple Bloom almost said chocolate rain, but stopped herself in time. "As crystal ponies bein' real," she finished.

Crystal pony are real. Its really going to happend:rainbowkiss:. But i hope :unsuresweetie: win
P.s: do anyone know how emotivon that are not in the list

And chapter 7.

Sorry for the delay. Halfway through writing this chapter, I got the idea for an A Christmas Carol crossover. That being seasonal, it became top priority. But that's done with and it feels good to be back on this. As previously mentioned, a quieter chapter, ponies dealing with the events of the dance, while setting up a few things to come.

And on to working on chapter 8, where Snips will scheme and Sweetie will plead.

Edit: And on to working on a revised version of chapter 8, after scrapping what I was working on. Snips has an idea, while the CMC and terrible twosomes' antagonism will lead to them competing for a good cause.

"Oh, you want to know why Snails decided to fight that blow hard?" Tiara nodded.

see wat you did there
Thats some new story developement interesting so i call that there is going to be a epic fight at the end of this
P.s go sweetie go:unsuresweetie:

Funny how your story would be the last one for me to read.
Let's see what you've cooked up here.

Friendly Tip: Spotlight's one word. :twilightsheepish:

I think I understand what you're doing here. By giving Snips hands instead of hooves, you're foreshadowing the fact that he will be the one to reach out and grab hold of this looming love triangle that may perhaps drive the story. As the only one with fingers, he's the only one that can effectively do the grabbing. Very clever, sir. I've yet to see a fic attempt such a metaphor.

Also liking the complementary attitudes going on between S+S and DT/SS. It's charging the story like a battery by giving it that positive-negative momentum.

1978992
Spotlight can wait until I do an editing pass on the early chapters. Celestia knows they need it.

Hands though... those are gone. Nuked from orbit, the only way to be sure.

With the intense fluctuation of behavioral misconduct that takes place on the actual show, I can't discredit the CMC as being uncharacteristically base. I do, however, feel that Snails's bold, imperative speech was far too verbose and profound for me to believe it was actually him. Nevertheless, I suppose I'll just have to hope I can adapt to this strange new Snails in future chapters.

If Twilight hears the word "manners" and immediately starts thinking about estates, I think she's been reading too many historical romance stories. Story's looking solid so far. I believe I've detected the pride, the prejudice, but I've yet to see any gastropods.

If Silver Spoon's reaction to getting that dress occurred as I envisioned it, we'd have a new meme face on our hands.

I believe I would be equally confused if Diamond were to suddenly take off looking for Silver Tiara. Also, I see now why this story's rated T.

1986757
Second time I've done that. Well, four if I count the two in With Apologies to the Moon, but those two were intentional, in part a reference to screwing it up the first time ;) Fixed now.

You know, if I could give an award for 'Best Interpretation of Snails', I would give it to this story. I believe it would be by default since this is the only story I've read to really feature Snails as a main character, but that doesn't lessen its validity. Actually, I would say this is my favorite of the romance-tagged stories I've read in the past week, and it's felt as if I've read nothing but romance this past week.

I suppose it's because romance is a factor of this story, but it's not the key focus. While it's a very subtle difference, the focus is on the relationship, not the romance. It's much more emotional than physical, and that gives it much more of a softer tone that I personally prefer to read. Because of this fact, nothing feels forced, nothing feels entirely detached from the show, and we don't have to make established characters one-dimensional to prove to the readers the validity of any OTPs. Heart Throb seems to be serving the generic role that the writers typically reserve for Diamond Tiara at the moment, but the story's not over yet, so I'll keep watching out for him.

This story might be out on the ocean, but I can still see the shoreline, and the waves are much calmer than what I've been seeing lately. Right now, I'd call this story a well-seasoned flounder with some lemon juice on top. It's fresh and tasty with a few additional drops of flavor to give it that extra push. I'll keep my surveillance on this one. I hear the next chapter's coming out soon.

And chapter 8. Took a bit longer than expected. First I wound up scrapping what I had, as I didn't like how it was going, too focused on single characters, rather than interactions. Then some computer problems (working off a borrowed laptop at the moment). And lastly lots of little revisions.

Next up, chapter 9. Buttons will be pushed, squares will be danced, and some karma happens.

Awesome chapter! Really like where this story is going.

Considering how expensive ten bits seems to be, I'm not surprised of the reaction that two thousand would cause. Although, Twilight must have bought some serious paper for "a few books" to be that expensive. Also, I'm afraid I must concur with the pink one on the subject of Truffle Shuffle's hat.

1992246
Thanks.

1993362
Yup, Twi went "a little bit" overboard. There were just so many interesting books the library didn't have. :twilightblush: Luckily, she restrained herself and only ordered the most interesting/important ones right away.

This is the best portrayal of Snails I have ever read. I love everything about this story and writing is excellent. I can't wait to see where it goes.

I loved the way you explained Snails cutie mark it was just plain awesome, I tip my hat to you good writer.

This has been my favorite chapter as of yet. It flowed in quite a similar way to an actual episode; at least that's how it felt to me.

I really like this story for the Snails and Diamond Tiara portrayal. You make a Snails that wants to be galant and important so he can fit in with DT's world. And DT may have started everything with only the full intention to relentlessly harass the CMC and Sweetie Belle especially, but you are writing her slowly coming to accept Snails. I especially like where Snails says something to the effect of being a one mare colt, being all-in for his affection to DT. I'm a little worried how true he will stick to that conviction in the coming drama. I'm assuming from your little teaser that the issue of the hospital card may be revealed, and be quite the blow since currently it is one of his most precious things.

Please keep writing! I adore this story so much!

When do we get an update?

2189167
Soon(TM). Ran into some writers' block, with things refusing to click. Past that now and completed the first draft the day before yesterday. So now working on polish. Figure sometime this weekend at the latest, if nothing unforeseen happens.

Chapter 9. Pesky chapter. The ideas and outline were sound, but the right words didn't want to come. Just one of those cases where little things are wrong. Eventually, the ol' brain mostly sorted them out, and things got rewritten. Lyra and candybutt got the boot, replaced by Derpy, for example. Happier with it now, yay.

On to chapter 10, in which an accusation will be thrown, lips will lock, and Applejack will be sold.

Yay! I've been looking forward to this updating and it was totally worth the wait :pinkiesmile:

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