Just a quick, frivolous intermission.

The comic in the story can be thus translated:

SPIKE: See, I think that I'm gay.
APPLE BLOOM: What? You too?
It was inconceivable. First all of my brothers and cousins, and now my little reptile. To think that all of the stallions I knew loved between themselves.

Yes, it took me several hours to make this. I suffer for my art.

The original comic is Marjane Satrapi's Persepolis:

i.imgur.com/mBACt.png

Luna's will be horrifying. I just know it.

1742641 Thanks for the translation, friend.

Luna... let's see... LUNA... I think Discord will be involved...

Bet: Comparable first time to one of Caligula's orgies.

Definite thumb down. For bad abuse of tags.

This is primarily GRIMDARK. A bad, very dark and very sad kind of grimdark. With all worst kinds of fucked up. The topmost layer of randomness doesn't make up for that in the least.

Look, if you pour cake frosting on a manhole cover, then drop it at your mother killing her by damaging her internal organs and breaking her spine so she dies of internal bleeding, this is a goddamned horror, not a comedy and the cake frosting doesn't redefine the manhole cover as a cake. It only adds up to how fucked up the murder was.

This shit gets more and more fucked up by the chapter.

WHY CAN'T I LEAVE IT?????!!!!!

1748406 Sounds like your pissed... or jealous.
Yeah, I think that is the reason for your drabble which you posted as a pathetic attempt at a comment.

You, good Sir, are in desperate need of a blowjob.
*drops pants*
Here's your chance.... get to work!

1748406
I'm sorry, but I'm not sure what your analogy is meant to prove. The tone and intention of a piece is what defines its genre, not its events. Subjective perception besides, this is first and foremost a slice-of-life fic. Life doesn't get any brighter the more you slice it up. The narration is meant to be consistently comedic, regardless of whatever events transpire within it. If the cake manhole murder happened as part of a comedy, then I'm sure it'd still be a comedy.

The existence of dead baby jokes, especially, kind of negates that entire perspective.

1748993
That's a bit too unnecessarily hostile.

1748993

Jealous? of what? Pissed, yes. I came here in hope of light-hearted, raunchy, funny story and it certainly started that way, and I ended up with taste of bile in my mouth.

And thanks for the offer but this story left me completely out of mood for any sexual activity.

1749087
The imagery both of Fluttershy scene and of Derpy scene were far too realistic. If you meant the narration to be consistently comedic, then you thoroughly failed at that in these two chapters.

If you show toony bang of a manhole cover against some poor woman and then switch to a scene with her grave with epigram of "died of manhole cake poisoning," that's dark humor.
If the footage takes ten minutes showing the guts realistically spilling, the poor woman screaming in pain, struggling, her face twisted in genuine pain, vomiting blood and choking on it, struggling for breath, and her murderer throwing lame puns from time to time, no matter what your intention, that's not comedy.

1749087 My apologies to you, for you was not the one who I saw as an ass, so I had no intention of offending you.

1749091 And you could have phrased it in such a way as to not be assholish.
Yes, I may be an asshole myself, only to those who have earned it in my opinion.
The author may have written something that was not to your taste, but you chose to tear him apart in a manner that would be most politely described as rude.

There are many ways that you could have said your piece without resorting to the level of obnoxiousness which you chose.

1749155
Well, for my excuse I have two reasons:
1. I was pissed (still am)
2. The way this was written seemed like a skilled troll employing bait-and-switch to pull unsuspecting readers into reading his shockfic - exceptionally well written shockfic with very disturbing imagery. I don't feel like being polite to trolls. If that was not a trolling attempt but merely author's shortcoming at humor, going quite a bit beyond the line, then okay, being rude was wrong. Being totally critical was not.

1749210 Shortcomings at humor? And HOW is it a grimdark? If anything, it would only be mildly dark, but only in a humorous way.

And where is there any "bait and switch"? And if you think this fiction is shocking, then some of the things posted in this site would put you in coronary arrest...

wait... why the fuck am I feeding a troll?

1749256
Well, excuse me but some of us don't have their sensitivity so thoroughly washed off.
Most of dark stories here are labeled as such or at least get a good sign of what is coming in the comments - or get downvoted into oblivion. The bait-and-switch is in the tags and in the beginning which is indeed humorous, Twilight's Starswirl tulpa and so on.

Now let me quote at length, and once we're past this lengthy quote I'm asking you to point one good reason to laugh within the text attached. Or maybe you're finding the entirety funny?

...and then he pushed me up against the wall.

A bit like this, see? I'd spread my legs a bit more to show you, but that'd be indecent.

He said some stuff—I'm not sure what, exactly, but I remember it was really hurtful—and then jammed his carpus upwards, really quick. I think I was seven or so, so it didn't hurt as bad as it would now, but it hurt really, really bad. I screamed and I think I peed myself—I remember there was some warmth there, but it might've just been blood—and then he grabbed me by the hair and rubbed my face into the mess—again, I'm not really sure whether it was his or mine—on the pavement, like a dog. Not that I'd ever treat a doggie like that, of course!

Oh, don't worry about the mess; it's just saliva and tea, after all. I'll mop it up later.

Anyway, I think he probably did that—kicked me, that is—to loosen me up a little, you know? So it wouldn't hurt him too much. I tried to pull my head up, but he stuck the little tube at that kinda soft bit at the back of my head and said he'd pull the trigger if I didn't lick the floor clean.

Well, I thought that was a bit mean, so I kicked up and tried to hit him in the you-know-where. He laughed—again, I can't remember what he said, but I remember what his laughter was like, kind of high and cracked—at me, and then he grabbed me by the hair again—that really hurt—and threw me onto one of the old sofas leaning up against the wall—we were outside a residential kind of building, but I think it got abandoned before I came, because no one came and tried to help me.

He felt my, uh—

Ooh, are you okay with swears? Dashie says they make the story have lots of impact.

I'll try and keep it cl—alright, Dashiekins!

I'm sorry, but I just can't say no to my Dashie. I hope you understand.

So, uh, he felt my cunt up, pushed at the folds. It was kinda like he'd never seen one of those things before, but he said something about me being wet. Since I knew by now he was definitely going to rape me, I started screaming for help, and he shouted something about the infidels or the King or Celestia's hostage government and hit me on the jaw really hard, like this. I kept shouting until he started choking me with his forelegs, and while I was trying to breathe and my eyes were rolling up into my skull he just put his thing—sorry, his dick—up against my cunt and just pushed really hard.

I was kicking at him as hard as I could before that, but my legs kinda stopped moving all of a sudden. I think I might've been in shock. I'm not sure how far he got in me before he pulled out and started pushing again. I was still conscious and breathing, so at some point he must've let go of my neck, but I couldn't hear my own voice any more.

That's kind of metaphorical, huh?

Oh, don't worry, I won't buck you in the head just for thinking that. It happened so long ago; Dashie's nice, but she has kind of a penchant for over—

—reacting. Please get your forehooves off Twilight's face, Dashiekins.

You're staying this time? I'll go make some tea!

Oh, you don't want any? I'll just go on, then.

So he started buck—I mean, he started fucking me. Tons of words for the same thing, of course, but 'fucking's the only word I can think of that's really being honest. I could say he was fucking my cunt, but it was more like he was fucking my whole lower body. He was grabbing my wings and just slamming into my hips. He wasn't fucking me, really, but he was fucking that part of me. It hurt a lot.

Well, it wasn't really him fucking that part of me. I like to say that he was using that part of me to fuck himself, like one of those toys Dashie likes to play with. He wasn't slamming into it as much as he was pushing and pulling on it really hard with his hooves, like he was doing it with himself and I was an, um—

Please don't cry, Dashiekins. Are you sure you wanna listen to this again?

That's not why I don't use the toys by myself. Don't even think of getting rid of them.

You're sure?

Smiling won't make me think you're not upset, Dash.

Alright. I love you.

So he was taking that piece of me and fucking me over and over for—for ten seconds before he let go inside me—that's better, Dashiekins, laugh it out—and pulled out. I found some stains on my coat later, so I know he got some outside. I didn't have my menarche yet and I wasn't in heat so I didn't get pregnant.

After he was done, he grabbed onto my hair and twisted my neck like this and spat on my face. I think it hit me in the eye, since I remember I closed my eyes instinctively. I tried to wipe it off before he hit me really hard on the face and it flew off entirely.

He told me the next time I came out naked, I wouldn't walk out of the alley. Then he left me there. I waited until I couldn't hear his hoofsteps before I ran straight home.

I came home very late and told my mother I wanted to wear clothes. A couple of years later, my mother managed to get me into Cloudsdale Flight School. And, uh, that's where I met Rainbow Dash, the best pony in the world!

1749312 Ok, you use an example from way back in ch 2 or 3 as why you hate the fic, but your commenting on ch 9, so inspite of the fact you hated the story, you kept reading. So, you invalidated any complaints you have towards this story, because you KEPT READING after you hated it...

This tells me one thing... your just a troll

1749338
I kept SKIMMING. In morbid curiosity as what happens next. I stopped past Applejack chapter when I realized it will not be getting any better, then kept switching chapters looking for one that diverges from the pattern, reading maybe three words per page. I read the Twilight's Mother chapter thoroughly in hope that it may contain some actual comedy, but since my own mother is quite abusive, this turned out to be a mistake, only adding to the distaste. I did read the Celestia chapter (my personal top 3 pony), and it wasn't actually that bad, although it pissed on canon in wide arc.

1749142
The narration, not the dialogue. The framing device is meant to be comedic, hence comedy; the stories themselves are their own little self-contained, genreless slices of life, hence slice-of-life.

1749370
And to note further, it's impossible for me to account for every single reader's personal history and neuroses. I apologise if you happened to have been particularly affected by the eighth chapter.

1752458
The formula remains true only if the dialogue is interspersed with narration densely enough, otherwise the form of one or another becomes dominant and the core story loses the character of the other. I can acknowledge your intent, but by providing prolonged sections that completely defy the core mood you got that mood lost and created some pieces that were really disturbingly dark.

Apology accepted, the downvote stands. The second chapter was the worst and the remainder didn't get to recover the mood it destroyed.

Aaaand it's incomplete