• Published 29th Oct 2012
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Dishonored: The Outsider's Reach - Bloodwing



Years after the plague Corvo Attano dies... But can one truly die bearing the mark of the Outsider?

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Knowledge of The Void

Dishonored: The Outsider’s Reach

Chapter 5: Knowledge of The Void

Warning: Contains no gore... Disappointing eh? No worries next warning will be more valid.

Chapter inspiration: Asturias - Isaac Albeniz, Turmion Kätilöt - Paha ihminen and

“Arthur C. Clarke’s three laws:

1. When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong.

2. The only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible.

3. Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.”

The Universe is a vast empty space, hollow and mostly devoid of any life – or at least that’s what most mortals believe in. Only a few worlds are populated by sentient beings that in fact have little to no idea about the true nature of the eternal blackness. Only a few of those populated worlds developed themselves so much that they are able to gaze into stars not with fright but wonder. Thinking what secrets and power can be possibly locked in the deepest bowels of this darkness. This space holds the key to complete control over creation and destruction.

Sapient mortals might live in the ignorance or constant pursuit of knowledge, constant search for answers, but in fact there are already creatures who know its secrets; creatures that are neither alive nor dead. They know how this machinery ticks, what makes it work, and they hold but a shard of its true power. To the mortals on the many populated worlds of the Universe those creatures are sometimes called Gods. Some of them could be called good or evil. Sometimes they have no name as they don’t show themselves and sometimes they are but whispers in the wind, or shadows among the light.

One of these beings is The Outsider, as old as time itself, holding an extent of control over its flow, having the ability to shape reality and he knows how everything came to be… Only one mortal ever dared to ask him this question.


And so I suppose you would like to know how all of it really works, how it came to be and... You want to know more about me?

The Outsider chuckled. patronizing the mortal in front of him.

You were able to force me to come to you, for which I applaud you, as no mortal before you managed to do it. What makes you think that I will tell you anything though, hmmm?

The mortal took out a small shard of a black gem and showed it to The Outsider, now levitating in front of the child. The Outsider was rarely impressed and even less often he was amazed or actually felt a pinch of dread. His eyes went wide and his ever confident smile disappeared, replaced with a scowl. His lips formed a thin line.

The Black Eye… I see… The Outsider said bemused and irritated, but quickly shook off the feeling.

The boy only nodded hiding the shard of the gem back into his pocket and crossed his arms, waiting for the cosmic being to speak.

Very well… I’m not used to not knowing and I don’t know how a mortal came to possess a piece of The Black Eye, but you have me cornered.

The Outsider smiled again and applauded the boy out loud, entertained and understanding that he is not talking with a mere drop in the ocean. This boy will reach where no one has reached before. The cosmic trickster then folded his arms again and leaned forward looking straight in the young human’s eyes. The latter was not at all afraid.

Listen closely, for I will not repeat myself. There was a pause.

In the beginning as you can probably deduce easily, there was nothing. Vast emptiness where nothing existed. There was no time, no reality, no black, no light, simply pure nothingness. I would like to tell you that something suddenly happened; a beautiful fairy appeared and moved her wand to begin creation. The truth however is slightly different for instead of a fairy, they have come, through a gash in the nothingness, creatures from if you can believe it, another completely different Universe.

I don’t know how or exactly when, but they did something unimaginable. They turned nothingness around and commanded it to step aside… And it obeyed. Then with power none can wield they created everything, reality, time, matter, void… And with these they also gave life to The First Ones, sentient beings of pure energy. They were the only ones that had much knowledge of the Creators and were permitted to wield two tools the Creators left behind.

The first tool was The Orb of Eternity. An artifact that gave control over everything across the unlimited space. It’s still there, dormant, exactly in the middle of the creation. Now it is unreachable, behind a wall of pure chaos, through which nothing can pass… Supposedly.

The second tool was The Black Eye. An orb made out of a black crystal mass with truly terrifying power to simply delete everything the wielder wanted across The Universe. No one knows where it is now, but the fact that you possess a shard of it means it shows itself somewhere, sometimes and allows a simple mortal to use a small ounce of its destructive powers. With it in your pocket none of us cosmic beings can reach into your soul and know of you like we do about other sapient creatures. You are now a white noise to us, something that most would be shocked about. I also cannot take it from you forcefully. It would immediately consume me as it recognizes you as its owner. If you ever come across another shard like this in someone’s possession do not attempt to steal it.

With a pencil and an eraser at their disposal The First Ones shaped and added to the base left by The Creators.

And so they’ve created me and many others, giving me the task to simply observe and not interfere into the lives of the mortals. I abided by their rules, as they could easily end my existence. They gave me The Void as my own world. Many of my brothers and sister were given much more interesting worlds, where they had power given by our parents to bring many things to life. They could then rule their creations, or love them. I simply had nothing and could only watch.

Did it make me unhappy?

Oh no… I loved to watch mortals fight and make important decisions. It was and still is entertaining.

Nevertheless all of it changed when The First Ones simply vanished, as The Creators did. Many of the let’s say “Gods” quickly jumped at each other’s throats, battling and slaughtering under no supervision. All of them wanted to have The Orb of Eternity. The smarter and better informed of us however knew that it cannot be obtained, at least not without a good plan and knowledge. When most of the simpletons were no longer existent only a few of us remained. We forged a treaty where each of us got their own dimension instead of one world of the Universe to rule and supervise. Some openly showed themselves to the mortal creatures, some remained in the shadows and some further created worlds in their own layer. I have this the Void and this dimension so in fact you could say that I am your God. The Outsider smiled weakly.

I am used to observing however and never really planned into completely breaking the rules imposed on us by the First Ones. If they simply vanished, who’s to say they cannot return?

I might see and know a lot, thanks to being able to control the flow of time, but I am not all knowing.

The First Ones told me more things than most of us knew and will ever know. I was never sure why, but I know this… When one of us reaches the Orb of Eternity, The Creators will return. It might be hard to believe but like you or any mortal I also want to know… Why did they make us? What was their purpose?

Many of us that were left however, never planned to discover nor seek knowledge. This left only me and Arcana.

She was the Goddess of Knowledge and Life and similarly to me, The First Ones told her more. Only I and she knew in fact that The Orb is behind a wall of pure chaos that will obliterate anything that will try to touch it. And many of the previously mentioned simpletons tried to force their way through with not so pleasant effects.

Instead of focusing on quantity of the worlds, she focused on quality and truly her lone world was the most beautiful thing you could ever imagine. This is why I find only some of you mortals interesting. Most of you are pathetic and ready to trample everything that is beautiful under your feet if it will give you more power or riches. You’re often ruled by simple greed.

I’m no fool however; I know that there are individuals among you that are much more than this as I mentioned. That is why the more you are interesting the more ready I am to grant you some power, to make you truly stand out from the other trash.

Nevertheless I and Arcana forged a kind of alliance where we planned to touch the Orb together, organizing the chaotic wall, introducing order into it and then being able to pass through it. She was however betrayed by her own creations and trapped for eternity underground of her beautiful planet.

You must also know that I didn’t create you humans or anything other in this Layer. It might be rightfully mine, but I never truly interfered and all of the progress here was initiated originally by the First Ones and First Ones only.

I still don’t know how you managed to come into possession of The Black Eye shard, but it’s a truly impressive feat. You are also quite unique and I will give you a part of my power child, more than I have ever given any other mortal. You deserve it... The outsider pointed a finger on the boy.

The latter winced slightly as a familiar mark appeared on his hand.

He looked at it for a while and then turned his attention back at The Outsider.

This is how This Universe works boy. You have now a steady connection to The Void, it will whisper secrets to you, tell you things that should remain hidden. The power will grow steadily within you and you will find yourself capable of the unthinkable. No one will notice the mark, as it is not a simple brand like most of the humans I find interesting here have, it is something much more.

Don’t let the knowledge I gave you consume you… And bear the power of the Black Eye shard carefully, it is more destructive than you can imagine.

With that The Outsider vanished leaving the rather content boy alone. The little human smiled to himself as he looked at the mark on his hand. He patted his pocket cheerfully and turned to leave the dark room.

The Outsider observed the boy for a while, smiling slightly. He was something else. The cosmic trickster might have forgotten to mention a small fact though.

He plans to set Arcana free. He can’t allow her to be pitifully trapped underground, while her treacherous creations roamed unpunished, usurping her power.

And so slowly as to not allow other brothers and sisters to see, he created a small gash in dimensions, allowing for something to pass through from his to Arcana’s. Of course this gash made some of The Void to seep through, making the “spells” his interesting mortals used sometimes influence her world, but in fact he didn’t care. He and Arcana will be able to reach The Orb of Eternity and they will get their answers. Sadly he can’t free her alone, as any interference this powerful would cause the others to pay attention. He will have to test how far can he go though... Maybe show himself to the mortals of Arcana’s layer? It should suffice.

Nevertheless, the cosmic being already had an idea and a plan formulated in his keen mind.

Time to wake up dear Corvo…


Sokolov’s Clinic is one of the biggest medical care institutions in Dunwall. It was built as an addition to the Holger Square. Originally it was opened by now deceased Anton Sokolov many years back. In the beginning it was only a small building bought by the Royal Physician in the mostly abandoned part of the rich square, right after the end of the Plague.

Sokolov was never a man of morality and ethics, but something inside him finally broke after Corvo Attano, accused of murder of the previous Empress was able to restore her daughter to the throne almost clean handed. The idea of the clinic where he would treat his patients for free was a way of redemption for the inventor.

Together with Piero, they sought to improve medical care in Dunwall and across the empire, making medical breakthroughs. With the reestablishment of Empress Emily Kaldwin on the throne of the Empire of Isles, Sokolov and Piero were given considerable funds to finance their experiments, inventions and the constantly growing clinic. Thanks to their close cooperation new ways to detect different diseases were created, new optical instruments, new methods to analyze human body, new never before seen drugs quickly surfaced from their research. Quickly Sokolov and Piero extended their research and formed an impressive team of scientists, that under constant supervision of the geniuses, revolutionized medicine. The clinic was always first to receive the upgrades of equipment and treatment methods before any other hospital or similar facility.

Being exclusively funded by the Empire and Sokolov’s own budget the clinic quickly became very famous for its incredibly high standards. This was for it’s mostly free treatments, competent and superb staff of doctors and nurses, incredible medical breakthroughs and so on.

Until this day many want to be treated in the now gigantic facility, as it became a place of Miracles where diseases that were previously incurable somewhere else, could be cured. Because of the overwhelming inflow of patients, a certain limit was issued. The poor, below poverty line were always treated for free, while the ones that made average amount of money were obliged to pay a still small fee. The nobles on the other hand were sometimes forced to pay horrendous amounts of money for simple treatments.

Of course this would quickly cause the nobles to protest… If not for one man.

Corvo Attano, The Lord Protector of the Empress was a legend among the whole Empire, and even though Emily herself was considered compassionate, her Protector was a contradiction. He became cold, distant and dread-inspiring after Emily Kaldwin was restored to the throne. Gossips of him secretly executing opposition that could arise to the Empress appeared. It was said that he used demonic powers to find and neutralize those that would speak ill about the current ruler. Whether those were simple tall tales or true to some extent, none dared to question the Empress, knowing full well that the man protecting her was capable of making a whole nation burn if he wanted to.

And so the nobles swallowed their pride and never voiced their concerns out loud.

Aside from that, The Empire unfortunately couldn’t keep up with the clinic’s progress. Even when it used all of its resources to spread the medical revolution there were still some parts of the Empire where these didn’t appear yet.

And so to this prestigious facility yet another patient arrived. This one however got top priority.

The Containment rail unit arrived directly at the back of the massive 5 story building. The construction itself was mostly flat, spread over a considerable size of Holger square. The Clinic was decorated richly and somehow resembled more of a massive mansion, with stained-glass Gothic windows and with more decorations on its grayish surface than a highly advanced, Whale Oil Reactor powered hospital should have.

The double back door made entirely of steel frame and clean glass swung open as group of nurses with a doctor came out, all of them wearing gas masks on their faces pushing a bed directly under the rail unit.

This was an entrance to the closed off, separated part of the clinic, where highly contagious diseases and the like were treated.

The rail would always arrive under the entrance allowing for quick movement of the patient or patients.

From the sides of the Unit two watchmen came out, quickly opening the back door that had yet another watchman supporting a young pale woman that was unconscious as of now. Next to them a boy and a rather sick looking woman were standing.

The patrol quickly took out the weeper woman and placed her on the hospital bed, the nurses instantly moving the patient into the back of the facility to one of the specially secured rooms.

“Please follow me. All of you have to be decontaminated and applied with Serum-71A I’m afraid,” Said the lone man in white doctor’s coat. He had spoken in a loud tone, while looking at the rather dissatisfied watchmen and two civilians. He gently pointed towards the door.

“You heard the man! Move it!” The captain said as the three watchmen and the civilians entered the facility, leaving the lone Containment Rail Unit that soon would be decontaminated as well.

The steel door behind them closed themselves with a thud and a click. They were now locked and secured.


The secured part of the clinic was cleaned to sterility; made out of uniform white panels. The Captain of the watchmen couldn't really tell what kind of material it was, but the whiteness somewhat dazzled his eyes. They were now standing in a round room. In front of them there were white doors, which were now closed shut and behind them another set moved to the side, closing automatically. The doctor that led them here entered the decontamination cell control room and told the group to wait.

The bright light in the round cell changed to a dim green as tubes in the ceiling began to emit thick white smoke, covering the whole small area they stood.

It stung their eyes and skin a little bit, but they were sure it was a part of the decontamination. Only the boy moaned slightly.

The group seemed to be mostly unfazed by this. The popularity of the clinic and it’s futuristic technology is widely known, as the decontamination process is a basic part of it’s routine when it comes to diseases. Many floors of the clinic possess similar chambers and information about the clinic quickly became basic knowledge, explained even to children in school.

William knew what was going on, but it still made him uneasy and feel a little scared, shattering his confidence quickly. It came back when his sister put her arm around his small frame and pressed him closely to her body. He immediately felt safe and stopped worrying about the stinging smoke.

The smoke was quickly sucked in by small holes on the ground and the light turned back to normal. The door in front of them slid to the side allowing the group to venture further into the clinic, and so they did.

The doctor came out from the control room just on the left of the corridor, next to the decontamination cell.

His mask was now off and he held a chrome briefcase in his left hand, motioning for the group to follow him.

They were moving through a straight corridor and every 10 meters were leaving behind a set of white doors. They were constructed similarly to those in the decontamination cell and opened automatically after a complicated key was inserted into a slot on the wall. It was a true technological marvel, possibly another creation by Piero’s protégée James Laybar.

Everything looked exactly the same. It was no place for art as everything was simple and spotless. Finally the group approached door with the number 124 engraved above it. The doctor took out a necklace with some sort of a coin on a chain and pressed it delicately to a slot on the left of the peculiar door.

A silent beep was heard, and with a hiss the door slid open allowing for all of them to enter. The room inside was small and had a little window, allowing to peek outside of the facility. Right in front of the window stood a white, steel desk and behind it a similar metal chair. There were some bookshelves filled with different kinds of documents in the room and a bed behind a white curtain right next to the door. The room itself seemed spacious and hollow. It was again sterile, made out of white panels with a single powerful lamp on the ceiling covered by small grid of metal bars.

The doctor put the briefcase on the desk and opened it taking out a rather small metal syringe filled with a red liquid.

“The child first, please. He’s the most vulnerable.”

William was looking at the syringe slightly scared, but quickly furrowed his brows and bravely approached the doctor putting his arm in front of him.

The doctor smiled joyfully, positively surprised by the boy’s behavior. Similar smiles appeared on the watchmen and Martha’s faces.

For William, the doctor’s wrinkled face made him look like William’s grandpa. The silvery short hair combed precisely and neatly and his green eyes warmly added confidence to the boy.

The doctor then motioned for William to fold his sleeve up, which he did. The needle quickly pierced his skin. William didn't even move when the red liquid entered his blood system.

The doctor then took out the syringe and changed the needle for a fresh one. The whole group promptly got it’s dosage of the serum and was allowed to safely leave the facility with the exception of the Captain, who had to give the Doctor a more precise report as to what happened and who could the woman be. The latter he didn't know for sure, remembering only that her name was something like “Fluttershy”, which was obviously ridiculous and he had to hear it wrong.


William and Martha were moving back to the exit from the corridor when the boy suddenly stopped near room 21. He pressed a hand against the pocket of his blue trousers and winced, slowly turning his head at the door.

“William? What is it?” Martha asked with some concern in her voice.

“Sis… I have to look inside this room…” He said as all of his boyish happiness and smile disappeared.

“What? No William! There are very sick people here, we have to go, now!” She said flabbergasted and angry about her younger brother’s behavior.

“Oboedientia...” William said with his brows furrowed. Something started to glow, coming from his hand, something Martha didn’t notice previously. And then her mind was covered by fog as her expression turned blank.

“You have to look inside this room…” She said flatly.

“Sorry sister… But sometimes you’re unbearable.” William said with a sad expression. “Don’t worry, it will pass soon. Go outside and wait there! I’ll be right back!”

Martha could only stand and stare at a wall in front of her, no thoughts crossing her mind, except of a one that told her to move outside of the clinic.

William on the other hand knew that whoever was inside this room, had something very, very precious.


Inside room 21, a young pale woman was laying. Now dressed in white pajama of sorts, her eyes were closed as two nurses were connecting her to some medical equipment and an IV with the Rat Plague serum.

The woman’s clothes were put in a thermal, metal cauldron that would sterilize them. The nurses also quickly looked for any documents and came across a paper Dunwall ID. They didn’t blame the watchmen for not searching for it, as the Rat Plague was still something to be badly afraid about. The older of the nurses quickly read the ID as her eyes went wide.

“Oh my…” She said with bewilderment.

“What is it Hannah?” The other came closer, as she finished hooking up the IV.

“I-It’s Florietta Laybar!” The older nurse shouted out amazed.

“What?! The missing daughter of James Laybar?” The younger one couldn't contain her excitement.

“Exactly! It’s a miracle! She went missing 2 years ago and now she’s here!”

The door slid open as the Grandpa Doctor entered with hands behind his back. This brought the attention of the nurses to him.

“Did I hear right? It’s Florietta?” He asked pointing at the Weeper patient.

“Yes doctor. At least that’s what her documents say” The younger nurse said.

“Incredible… Miracles do happen, especially here, don’t they?” He asked with a warm smile. The two nurses only nodded, imagining her father’s happiness when she wakes up healthy and he comes to visit. But where could she have been to catch the Rat Plague?

The doctor then with some help from the nurses examined the patient closely and wrote a description of her condition, adjusting the dosages of the serum. The cauldron was left in the room together with personal possessions of the patient. The staff of the clinic then left the patient alone in peace, allowing her to recover.

Unbeknownst to all, something or rather someone else entered the room, shrouded in void magic, unable to be seen by any that don’t possess the mark of The Outsider.

William waited for everyone to leave the room and as they did, he approached the table next to the woman on which some jewelry was laying and dropped the shroud.

He picked up a silver necklace that was in fact a sort of small silver case on a rather thick silver chain. Quickly with his index finger he opened the case and to his eyes a shard of a black gem appeared. He stared at it for a while, not entirely sure how another piece of “The Black Eye” as The Outsider called it was in someone’s possession. He knew he couldn’t touch it lest he would be disintegrated and he understood why he didn’t sense it earlier. She was wearing it around her neck and so was undetectable by the other shard. He looked at the sick woman for a while. She seemed to be still unconscious. That is of course until her eyes twitched as she weakly opened them.


Fluttershy slowly opened her eyes, her vision blurry, her muscles weak but at least her nausea gone. She saw pure whiteness in front of her and all around her. Despite her tiredness and weakness, her mind was still quickly able to come to a conclusion that she had to be in Ponyville General. So all of what she saw earlier had to be just a dream! She had to hit her head or something… She sighed relieved.

“It was all only a small accident...” She said, mostly to reassure herself.

“Hello… Um… Anypony here?” She asked quietly, hoping that maybe some of her friends had accompanied her and are now here. She slowly turned her head to the left and spotted a blob next to her comfy bed. It was rather small, so probably a foal.

“H-Hello…” She said shyly. The blob didn’t move. As if on a whim the blurriness of her vision vanished and her nerves started to work properly informing her that in fact, she still wasn’t in her body. The blob on her left turned into a face of one of these bipedal creatures.

Fluttershy’s lips trembled as some tears started to flow from her eyes.

“O-oh no…” She hung her head down.

So either it was a very persistent dream or reality in which she switched bodies with somepony… Yet Fluttershy remembered her Iron Will training and wasn’t about to simply break down in tears. If she was in a different world altogether, she had to find somepony to help her, make a friend and find a way home!

The boy on her left stared at her as she raised her head up, weakly wiping tears from her face.

“Can you tell me how you have come to possess this?” The boy asked passively as he showed her a case with a pretty piece of a black gem inside.

She shook her head as if trying to process the information, not expecting any questions.

“I… Um… I’m not sure what that is…” She answered truthfully somehow hypnotized by the boy’s eyes.
He nodded slowly as if mostly to himself. He placed the case on her side.

“I’m not sure what happened to you Mrs. Florietta, but you obviously lost your mind… Or you have a different mind whatsoever. I can see that partially…” He paused as he looked intently at Fluttershy, making her feel uneasy.

“F-Florietta…?” Fluttershy whispered.

“Remember this however… The gem holds a power of ultimate destruction so keep it safe and use it only in an extreme case. I cannot take it from you and it is your responsibility.” The boy turned around deep in thought. He prepared to leave the room and the sick woman.

“Wait! Can you tell me where I am?... Um… That is if you want to…” She asked instead,
not completely understanding what it was about the gem that the young colt was talking about.

“The Doctors will tell you that miss. Farewell.” He said and right before Fluttershy’s eyes simply went straight through the door without them being open… Like a ghost. With her mouth agape the former yellow mare could only stare at the door as William, the boy who knew more than any mortal, left her alone with power to destroy all creation, laying innocently right next to her in a pretty silver case.


The sky was darkened by the dense clouds that seemed to envelop the whole world in a tight blanket. The sound of thunder echoed through the night accompanied by flashes of lighting as a storm raged. The dense darkness was only sometimes dispersed by these bolts, explosions of light that allowed a person to see for just a fraction of second. The light however quickly gave up consumed by the dense blackness again. The rain was pouring from the sky as if God himself was trying to sink the world anew. The violent gusts of wind threatened to sweep the more reckless individuals that dared to face the wrath of God, by walking outside.

The volume and power of this storm would cause a lesser man to tremble and hide in his safe haven, his house, separated and foolishly convinced that no harm can be done to him. Unbeknownst to these lesser men, the power of the elements would be easily able to destroy everything on its path on a whim. Tonight however was not the case, as the planet only expressed its annoyance with humanity and not a willingness to destroy the residents wholly.

Doctor Pyotr Yershov barely stood on his legs. The wind was causing him to fight for his ground as he slowly advanced towards the thick and high walls of the building in front of him. He was utterly drenched to the skin, his wallet and documents probably soaked through as well. The man was almost unfazed by this, completely concentrated on reaching his goal which was getting inside the building. He made it having, a black, steel gate on his right. The electrical lamp just above it did a poor job of fending off the darkness. Yershov, was however able to make out some details.

The gate itself was large enough to allow a passage of many different vehicles of considerable size. It had a baroque sense to it, richly decorated with many golden trimmings. It seemed to be an invitation of sorts. The artistic sense of the gate spoke clearly as if it was saying, “you are entering a different world”. On both sides of the gate there were gargoyles made out of obsidian; silent guardians of another realm. Somehow they reminded Pyotr of dragons from many stories he loved to read when he was younger.

Through the gate, Pyotr could see a wide-spread garden, now obstructed by darkness. In the distance shone small beacons of light, indicating that a facility stood in the middle of the gloomy garden.

Another wave of thunder and strike of lightning rolled through the land, brightening the sky once more, allowing any brave or foolish man outside to see glimpses of detail. Immediately he spotted a heavy metal plate on the wall, just next to the gate. It was colored black and crafted out of thick cast iron. Engraved on its surface were golden letters that made the reckless doctor smile to himself.

Finally here… He thought as he read the letters:

Dunwall Imperial Mental Asylum


Sitting in front of the reception desk, for a whole day without anything happening wasn’t an exact definition of “ an interesting activity” to most. The little ratty old man behind the desk saw this differently. He loved his job and peace it offered. Being a receptionist for a highly secured mental institution was in his book a dream come true. Day after day he was able to sit in front of the heavy, sturdy wooden desk in a rather comfortable Victorian chair and read his favorite books.

His hunched back and old bones were simply not fit for any other work to be sure.

This is why right now his face was contorted in a small smile that was not really natural to the man. He was in the middle of his book right now, the weak electrical lamp poorly illuminating the highly polished surface of the brown desk, making the reading an effort, but still quite enjoyable. His smile turned into a sour frown when he heard a noise of old iron hinges moving under the pressure. He looked up from his read.

The richly decorated, rusted iron door that served as a main entrance to the facility swung open as a person entered the asylum. The drenched man was dressed in a gray trench coat, white shirt and black trousers. His red tie was now unpleasantly glued to his chest due to the amount of water it absorbed.

The man had to be in his 70s by the looks of it. Many liver spots were visible on his ghostly white skin with some wrinkles on his face also present. His grey eyes keenly scanned the area, showing only experience, knowledge, and further thirst for more. The features of his face were rather sharp, giving him a somewhat cruel appearance. His long white beard and wire glasses added a kind of educated aura to him. Despite his drenched appearance, the man stood proud and dignified, radiating an aura of authority.

Doctor Pyotr understood that he was definitely in the right place. The Dunwall Asylum was famous throughout the Empire for its uncommon looks, which resembled more of a hotel than a highly secured facility. The main room he stood in now was spacious. There were brick walls covered by decorative wooden panels. The floor was covered by a green carpet. Directly in front of him there was a reception desk and on its left and right entrances that surely led further into the bowels of the hotel-asylum.

The facility only had one floor, but it was quite a high reaching one. To reach the ceiling one would have to be as tall as five grown men. The ceiling itself was finished with Gothic ribs. In the middle of the room a chandelier made out of crystal glass hung proudly. It was turned off right now and yet added a sense of wealth to the institution. It resembled spikes of ice hanging from the ceiling threatening to fall any second.

The Doctor quickly approached the reception desk. The man behind it gave Pyotr an angry glare, which turned into hate when Yershov got out of his coat and threw it on the desk with a wet splat.

“Doctor Pyotr Yershov, I’m here to see the interesting case of patient No. 101” Pyotr said in one breath, with a monotone voice. Normally he would wait a day to maybe get his clothes dry at least, but he didn’t venture into the storm for nothing. He had to see the patient as soon as possible.

The receptionist eyes went wide for a second, all traces of anger disappeared replaced by respect and regret of not realizing who he was talking to.

“Doctor Yershov?! It’s an honor to meet the pioneer of modern psychiatry! Boris Polunin.” The ratty man quickly stood up to his not really impressive height and gave the Doctor his hand. Both men made a friendly handshake.

“Likewise! I’m glad I finally arrived here. It was an exhausting journey!” Pyotr smiled genuinely.

“Why won’t you rest first doctor? Or at least allow yourself to dry off!” Boris asked with a small amount of concern.

“No time for that! The patient cannot wait.” Yershov answered running hands through his wet hair, to get rid of the excess of water.

“Of course.” The ratty man responded as he turned around facing a simple wooden key shelf. He ran his hand through the considerable amount of old thick keys mumbling something under his breath. Finally his hand stopped as he grabbed what he was looking for and turned around to face Pyotr again. The latter was now trying to clean his wire glasses, not really effectively.

“Here is the key to the Containment Cell 3 and a temporary recognition symbol. The Patient is inside, strapped and in a catatonic state.” Polunin looked at the doctor with some sadness in his eyes. Pyotr raised an eyebrow to that, obviously dumbstruck.

“Strapped?” He asked after a second of silence. The old receptionist was expecting the Doctor to dwell further into the topic as he sighed heavily.

“This is not a simple case of one kind of insanity. The patient is extremely dangerous and despite her catatonic state, she sometimes snaps out of it. On occasion she attacked a guard and snapped his neck before anyone could react. She is delusional, aggressive, and has enormous amount of agility and strength for her size. Whether it is due to her unique biology or some other factor, the fact remains that Patient 101 is a unique case.” The receptionist explained, somehow well informed about the situation and the patient herself.

“I wasn’t informed about her aggressive behavior…” Pyotr said quietly, but nervously. He heard about Patient 101 many times, from stories, gossip and his colleagues. He also read 3 articles about the patient as it was supposedly a mental case that cannot be resolved, lost cause.

From a medical point of view however Patient 101 was a miracle. She is the only known human being resistant to any form of disease. Her white cells are able to defeat any infection and possibly even cancer. That is why she is kept alive in the facility and The Empire does everything it can to help her mind.

Yershov was directly hired by The Mental Health Division of Empire Medical Care. The amount of money they gave him for the task was staggering and he wasn’t about to back out because the patient might be aggressive. On another note, he simply had to see her, as there was no lost cause to Doctor Pyotr Yershov.

“I’m perfectly sure that you are more than capable to handle her Doctor. I’m simply informing you. Nevertheless if you want to reach the cell you’ll need to go right and past two Walls of Light. You’ll spot the door… There are two guards standing there at all times. Also on your way you might want to talk to Doctor Alice. She’s assigned to 101 currently and her room is right next to the patient’s. Remember to hold onto the recognition symbol at all times if you don’t want to be zapped into unconsciousness by the gates! Also…” The ratty man didn’t finish as he put his hands under the desk taking out a white, clean towel. “You might want to at least dry yourself slightly.” The man smiled as he sat down again. Pyotr only nodded in some temporary confusion.

“Thank you,” Was all he said as he took the towel and started to get rid of the extensive amounts of water from his body.

“Oh and doctor…” The man suddenly raised his head from the book he was about to continue reading.

“Yes?”

“Good luck…” The man said with an amount of seriousness that dropped the temperature of the room by a few degrees.

Pyotr could only nod again as he put the towel around his shoulder and started the advance towards his destination. He took a look at the recognition symbol. It was a perfect silver coin of sorts with the asylum outline engraved on its surface. The key on the other hand was made out of old iron and was rusted in some places. The cell had to be very old then, or at least the doors were. He quickly passed the two mentioned gates and many black iron doors that were entrances to the cells probably. The design of the halls and corridors were reminiscent of the entrance to the asylum.

Finally Pyotr reached the end of the corridor in which a rather big steel reinforced door stood. They emanated a feeling of sturdiness and seemed to be newer than the facility, but still considerably old. They were prepared to withstand a grenade explosion. The two guards eyed him curiously. They were both dressed in riot armor made out of light steel, painted fully blue. Yet again Pyotr thought about knights of the old. Ridiculously he thought that maybe behind these doors was a dragon and these blue knights were prepared to slay it for the good of the people. He snickered somewhat, but quickly recomposed himself.

“Doctor Pyotr Yershov. I’m here for Patient no. 101.” He stated calmly, looking at the two guards. The blue knights looked at each other.

“You might want to visit Doctor Alice Blackheart first, doc.” The guard on the right said pointing his thumb at the door next to him.

“Oh… Right.” Pyotr answered as he approached another set of iron doors that were next to the reinforced ones. He looked them over curiously as if thinking how to ask the occupant for the permission to enter. He quickly shrugged and simply banged his fist against the door.

“Enter!” A sweet female voice, muffled by the thick iron came from the room.

Yershov pushed the door as they gave up and swung open on well-oiled hinges. Behind them, beside a Victorian wooden desk a beautiful blonde woman was sitting. She seemed to be in the middle of writing something. This was evident as she still held a pen in her delicate hands. She looked somewhat dissatisfied with the newcomer

She seemed to be in her early 30s, very young for the scientific community. The majority however knew Alice Blackheart for her uncommon approach to treating psychotic patients…

Uncommon and yet successful. She was in fact a rising star, similar to Sokolov or Piero, but in her own field. Many would be however mislead by her near angelic looks. Her beauty couldn’t be easily compared to anything. Her body was perfect in every sense of the word. It was incredibly symmetrical in shape. Her face was also perfectly shaped, with beautiful blue eyes now curiously looking at Pyotr... However if one looked into these eyes, he or she would see layers of intelligence and thirst for knowledge so similar to Yershov’s.

She recognized her visitor almost instantly as she dropped the pen, stood up and approached Yershov with excited smile.

“Doctor Pyotr Yershov!” She shouted out happily as she offered him her hand.

“In the flesh.” He answered, allowing a small smile spread over his features, as he shook the woman’s hand

“I’m Alice Blackheart and I read your book doctor. I must say that truly your thesis about the rat plague even when cured influencing the victim’s psyche is astonishing!” Alice said with a sweet tone that seemed to be natural to her.

“Thank you, thank you. I’m however afraid that the patient cannot wait while we waste our time chatting pointlessly.” Pyotr’s smile vanished as he said that.

Blackheart only nodded quickly and allowed the soaked doctor to take a seat in front of her wooden desk; it was quite a comfy chair. He put the towel on her desk ignoring her surprised expression. She sat on the other side and took out a thick folder from the drawer. She placed it in front of Yershov. The folder was made out of thick cardboard paper, there were red letters written on its front that formed into a word “Case No. 101”. Yershov took a quick glance at it, folded his arms and leaned back against the comfy chair.

“Would you be so nice as to give me the short story doctor?” He asked politely.

Alice tilted her head slightly, but didn’t say anything, concluding that a genius of Yershov’s magnitude would probably dismiss most theories that were in these files. She placed a hand on her chin thinking for a while.

“Patient No. 101 or ‘Hope’ as we found out her name is, was found on the streets of Dunwall Distillery District about 6 months ago. She was laying naked in dirt and filth, entirely unaware of her surroundings in a catatonic state. Two beggars found her and tried to rape the poor thing. A patrol of watchmen saw this, but before they could interfere, Hope snapped out of her autistic state and attacked the winos. From the watchmen’s report it seems that with one hit of her fist she completely pulverized one of the beggars face, crushing his skull, throat and damaging his brain.

The extensive force of the punch catapulted the thug through the alley. He flew about 37 meters before he crashed to the ground dead. The other beggar had no time for reaction as Hope grabbed him by the throat and raised him up in the air. She was holding him for about 3,4 seconds. Then she squeezed her fingers destroying the man’s throat and making him suffocate quickly. She then released the body and went back to her autistic state, standing in one spot, unaffected by the cold air or the small drops of blood that covered her face,” Alice said all of this almost in one breath.

On the outside Pyotr seemed to be unfazed by the story. On the inside however he was very much intrigued, he felt a little giddy even. He motioned for Alice to continue, which she did.

“The watchmen in the place, after witnessing what had transpired were smart enough to call for a containment unit, reporting something quite unnatural. They approached her slowly, trying not to make any aggressive moves. Luckily Hope seemed to only snap out of her state into instant aggressiveness when her life was directly threatened. Otherwise she allowed the two watchmen to delicately take her into the rail unit and to Sokolov’s Clinic. She was placed under supervision. Quickly it became apparent that there was no record of her anywhere, as she simply didn’t exist. Blood work tests and diagnosis showed something remarkable however. Her white cell count was higher than usual and one of the doctors contaminated her blood with some bacteria of early Rat Plague to see what would happen. Her white cells instantly fought off the infection, destroying the bacteria without any real effort. Later tests also showed that she is in fact incapable of getting sick.

It also became apparent quickly that she was breaking off her catatonic state on different occasions than when her life is directly threatened. In two incidents she killed 3 guards, 2 doctors and a nurse. One of the guards even shot her in the process. It however didn’t stop her at all. She regenerated faster from the shot than any human being, but still the incident threatened a valuable subject’s life. As you can probably guess the EMC decided that it would be best to restrain her in a more secure way than leather straps of a hospital bed. The best option was to move her here, where security was much heavier and medical care was on a similar level to the hospital. This was about 5 months ago. Since then all the blood tests and whatnot are done here by a group of specialists from the clinic” Alice explained the affair.

“What does that have to do with mental health?” Pyotr asked with a raised eyebrow.

“4 months ago the subject started to come out of her states on more occasions, but without any aggressive attempts. She would behave like a child then, interested in her surroundings, studying everything very closely wondering why she was strapped to the bed. EMC decided that it would be best to have her fully aware and not breaking into berserker states. Since it already was a mental asylum a psychiatrist was assigned, who tried to communicate with her. It was very hard as she seemed, not to be able to talk at all. Hope was showing mostly high interest and wonder. Later the interest turned into a kind of seriousness, as if her mind matured. She even started to talk, but no one could really make out anything from her broken words. Then she started to speak more coherently.” Alice stopped talking as she took a breath.

“She told the psychiatrist that she’s nothing, a slave and a test subject, that she deserved to die and we should kill her. All of that while crying loudly. She also said that The Outsider will save her,” Alice finished slightly bemused

“The Outsider…?” Pyotr smirked “She seems to be delusional to an extent, constant catatonic state, moments of lucidity. This is a really interesting case.” Yershov stroked his white beard for a while.

“Taking into consideration that there are no files on her anywhere and she has very unique body biology… It’s really hard to consider her case like any other.” Alice answered crossing her arms.

“True… If you don’t mind I would like to see her and maybe even speak to her. We’ll see what I’ll be able to find.” Pyotr smiled again, this was more interesting than he could have ever fathomed.

“But of course, just ask the guards to let you through Doctor. However I’m not sure what state she will be in. She might be catatonic again or aggressive.” Alice said warily

“Of course. But she also might be lucid,” Yershov responded as he stood up and walked through the door.

He stopped in front of the guards and motioned for them to step aside. They looked him over, as if not sure what he was asking for. One of the blue knights then simply shrugged and they both moved away from the door. Pyotr approached the reinforced steel and put the thick iron key in a lock that seemed to be overly complicated. He turned the key as series of loud clicks echoed through the corridors of the mental asylum.

“AAAAAHHHH!” One of the patients screamed his lungs out.

“IT IS COMING! IT IS COMING! IT’S A PART OF THE SWARM! AAAAH!” He screamed again. Pyotr stopped for a second, but being used to screams of mad men he quickly resumed what he was doing.

As the sequence of clicks was finished, Yershov pressed down on the door handle. The reinforced door swung open with unholy moans. In the middle of the room a steel bed was present and above it an electrical lamp that illuminated the room. The cushioned floor and walls that were supposed to stop the lunatics from hurting themselves were new and snow white here. There was a rather large window behind the bed, which had thick bars to stop the potential escapee from fleeing or again killing him or herself.

Strapped to the bed with metal clamps, was a rather fragile looking women. She was sickly thin, her ribs visible through her skin. Her eyes were sunken in as she was looking straight forward at the ceiling. She was not moving at all and only her rising chest was any indication of life. She had two cannulas sticking out of her left arm. On the side of the bed, a stand was present on which two bags of liquid were resting, slowly applying the liquids to the patient.

Yershov stood there for a while, examining the mysterious woman from afar.

“Chair please.” He said quietly to the guard that was now standing behind him. The blue knight nodded and quickly sported a shining metal chair. Pyotr took the chair as he approached the woman. He put it down and sat leaning forward and looking at Patient 101.

Hope was apparently in her catatonic state still. She blinked sometimes, but other than that she was not making any attempts to move.

“Leave us please.” Yershov said as he took a glance at the guards.

“Doctor? We cannot leave you with her. She’s dangerous.” One of the knights said looking awkwardly at Yershov.

“Please. Nothing will happen, she’s strapped and I know how to handle my patients.” Pyotr stated coldly.

The guards seemed to slightly cower from his stare as they only nodded and left the room. The thick door closed behind them. Pyotr took a look around, as if making sure he was alone with Hope. He placed his arms on his legs and watched the woman for a while. After a few seconds in deep thought, Yershov took the woman’s arm delicately and checked her pulse.

“Steady… Hmm… This will do.” He said to himself as he stood up slowly, still closely observing the woman.

He folded the right sleeve of his white shirt, exposing the rest of his arm. He took a look at the backside of it and stared intently. On the backside of his arm a tattoo was present that many would be jealous of and some would say it was a curse. Pyotr however always thought of it as a gift, allowing him to surpass simple limits of human body and mind. Corvo for example would identify it as the mark of The Outsider. Yershov however had the tattoo as long as he could remember and never really dwelled on where it came from… Unconditional love of the Universe perhaps? He placed his hand on the skinny woman’s chest, slowly and delicately, as if every move could cause the woman to lunge at him. He put his lips next to her ear with his hand still pressed against her chest.

“Expergo…”

He whispered to her ear, knowing full well what should happen… Void power however tends to be unpredictable and the gash between the layers of the Universe made the power spiral out of control.


First it was a steady heartbeat she heard and then she could sense her environment through touch and smell. Something was not quite right in her senses though… They were spread differently and Hope knew that it shouldn’t be like this. She barely opened her eyes, only to be greeted by deep darkness. This darkness however quickly came up as it was a curtain of sorts.

Her body felt numb all over, her senses in fact were somehow dulled and she felt horribly tired. She realized one fact though, her mind was not clouded, she could think lucidly and straight, she could keep a thought in her mind for more than a few seconds! Then… Then the memories came back, everything that was done to her seeped into her freshly sane mind. She remembered what happened and why she eventually broke down.

After all, it could happen to anyone who was a medical test subject and a slave. She could remember the name of the man that experimented on her, cut her, injected her with toxins and different medicines that made torture seem friendly. She knew the man was called a genius and every time he put a needle in her, he always said

Science requires sacrifices…

He would then smile with sick honesty and continue torturing her.

His name was Carl Sokolov and he was the son of Anton, so similar to his father…

She was kidnapped about 4 years ago, from a remote village on the outskirts of the Empire. She could remember her mother and father still. Oh God, how she loved them… how she missed them now that her mind was working again.

“Mommy… Daddy…” She said as some tears welled in her eyes.

4 years kept in a cell like an animal, coming out of it only for more experiments, fed with tasteless pastes and sometimes even a roasted rat. After those 4 years she eventually snapped when Sokolov was enraged that his experiments were not working, that he couldn’t reach the perfection he seeked. He then opened her cage and beat her, beat her badly, calling her many different names and assuring her that she will never leave this place alive. Her mind collapsed and then… only broken shards of memories were left. She could remember some men putting her in a bed, someone talking to her soothingly, someone asking her questions.

Sometimes she could find her way in the fog of her broken mind to tell these people something of what she went through, but if it went through to them? She couldn’t be sure… She also remembered feeling very enraged sometimes and that she could have done something horrible back then. She felt an amount of regret.

One particularly lucid memory stood out from these shards, someone whispering into her ear…

Expergo…

She remembered the word perfectly but had no idea what it meant.

And then the fog disappeared as if her brain had a kick start and put her in control again. Here she was thinking straight, remembering everything and most importantly…free! No longer breaking down! Some hope appeared in her heart. These people she barely recalled had to cure her somehow! She would be able to tell them what has been done to her! She would get her revenge!

First she had to visit her parents and her brother though; it has been 4 years after all. They definitely thought that she was dead by now and mourned her already. How did her brother look now? Has father finally got a promotion? How was grandma? How are all of them doing now? She just had to know right away and felt a pinch of happiness at the thought of returning home.

“Hello? Anybody?” She said out loud, hearing her voice being somehow muffled and still feeling weirdly numb and not quite right. Her vision was blurry and she could make out that she was laying on her side in some kind of a room… She blinked a few times trying to clear her vision.

Slowly her senses were sharpening. She now felt that she was on cold stone in some sort of a chamber made out of stone as well. Its roof had collapsed… This didn’t look quite right. It was however pretty dark still, so she couldn’t make out many details.

And there was this feeling in her body that was… so wrong. It was as if her nerves were thrown about differently, her head felt different, her back felt different, her legs and arms also and then…

Her hands and feet, she couldn’t feel them at all. She had no feeling in her hands! Oh god! She could feel her eyes widening in fear involuntarily. She tried to move but felt pain in the process.

“Oh god… I… lost feeling in my hands!” She said loudly.

Then there were footsteps. Those were also wrong! They sounded like clops of hooves and the other like heavy footsteps of a beast. She tried to wiggle her head that felt longer and heavier for some reason, to see the entrance to the deserted chamber. Sharp pain went down through her spine as she winced and moaned slightly. No, something was very, very wrong here and she felt like panicking now.

“Help! I can’t feel my hands! I… Don’t know where I am… Hello?!”

Her voice sounded as if doubled, slightly buzzing and full of venom, even though she tried to say it nicely. It was not her voice… Oh God, what happened to her?!

The sound intensified as something entered the room. The figure was not human at all. It was tall and unnaturally elongated. It was too dark to see the creature fully, but its serpentine silhouette was enough to make Hope terrified. The shards of memories she had told her that she had to be in some kind of hospital, but this… This was not it by a long shot… Did they throw her away?

“D-Don’t hurt me…” She pleaded weakly trying to shield her head and prepare for a beating or something similar. She couldn’t though; every move was met with pain and no reaction from her limbs.

The creature in the room moved to the side next to her, taking something out from the stone wall. It seemed to do a lot of flaying of its hands and searching through, what Hope assumed was its clothes. Then it took something out and with a few movements of its paw, dim flashes of light and sparks appeared as the creature lit a torch.

Everything was encompassed in light then, as Hope witnessed what stood in front of her… she thought it had to be the Devil himself, here for her immortal soul.

Her family didn’t believe in the silly Abbey of the Everyman. She believed that God created the whole world and shaped humans to fit his image. There was also a hell and a heaven and well… Here she had a final proof that hell existed. The Devil had a figure of a serpent and just as she assumed wore a leather coat and had a metal mask covering his face… Why? She had no idea.

His hands seemed to be in fact flexible paws of two different animals. In his eagle paw the demon held the torch and in its other paw a menacing silver blade. Hope knew now, she had died and gone to hell.

“I… Died?” She asked somewhat calmer, but still allowing tears to flow from her eyes.

“I don’t think so. You are pretty much alive.” The Devil responded calmly.

Hope blinked dumbstruck as she cleared her tears. She was finally able to see her own body stretched on the cold stone floor. The only thing she could do after what she saw, was to scream with such horror that it could be heard even in Ponyville.

The fact was that Hope no longer had her own body, but rather an equine-demon one, hence the lack of feeling in her hands and feet. Another interesting fact was that if a pony would see her now, he or she would probably shout out Changeling! And run away with their tail between their legs.

That was partially why Hope screamed so much. More importantly she realized that in fact she still had to be insane, because in all honesty all of this was quite impossible as much as she believed in hell.


Dictionary:

Oboedientia - Obedience

Expergo - Awaken

Author's Note:

Well took me much longer than expected, for which I apologize. Except for some stuff I had to take care of I also had a mild case of lack of inspiration. This however changed and here’s Chapter 5 ^^ Slightly shorter than two previous ones but still over 10k words :P

Originally there was supposed to be a slight Sci-Fi element here... But I decided it would reveal too much and threw it into a bonus chapter I might publish some day.

Can't thank enough Spanner, who became my Editor, as he helped me tremendously and my proofreader ProtheanBrony who also found the time to improve the story. Thank's guys, you rock :)

More of Corvo and much more action in next chapter. As usual thanks for reading!

Comments ( 58 )

Quick comment- You use "in fact" and "however" quite a lot and it is almost always unnecessary. Do a ctrl+f search for them and the former will appear twelve times while the latter shows up twenty seven times in this chapter. Now read all those sentences while omitting those terms. Sounds better, doesn't it?

Also, when you have something like "in fact" or "however" that is not part of the actual phrase, you need to add commas to separate it. I couldn't get into the story as well as I should have because it kept breaking the flow of my reading.

Overall interesting chapter. I liked the Outsider lore.

THE SHIT THAT IS GOING DOWN NEED MOAR CHAPTERS TO PROCESS BRAIN MALFUNCTION SKDLFSDLKFSJDLSFDSHFDLSDFH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH:flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::fluttershbad::fluttershbad:

Hayah. Yeah, I PacotheTaco has a point with the use of those phrases. I should have caught that.:raritydespair::twilightoops: Anyway, keep up the good work.:twilightsmile:

1810272

Aww, just love them "pet" words! They make me feel smart for some reason... But yeah, what you said is a good idea, will keep it in mind and do the ctrl f thingy next time, knowing my weakness. is "however" and "in fact" :P

Thanks ^^

1810284
Command: Brain Override
Command: Execute Psychosis.exe
Awaiting results :pinkiecrazy:

1810327
Well you did a lot, so not catching something like this is normal after the work you had :D I'm actually wondering why I didn't see it --' Damn cute pet words!

nice job with the chapter, keep goin and stay golden^^

I'm sorry to say this, but I didn't enjoy this chapter at all. I'm afraid this isn't what I was looking for, sorry. :ajbemused:

1810440
Not enough action I presume? :P

1810328 So wait, Dishonored version of Alice Kingsley? From Alice in Wonderland? Also, why is Fluttershy human? And, is "The Devil" the Outsider?

1810570

Well, it's only one type of a Crossover, I was just kinda inspired by the game but won't be adding any standing out elements much. The name was a honest coincidence xD Although... everything still depends on what my demented mind comes up with...

As to Fluttershy, previous chapters established that she ended up in Dunwall, or at least her mind did. It's a continuation of her story after she had passed out from exhaustion and Rat Plague, held by the Watchmen.

As to the Devil, from the description of what Hope sees you could pretty much guess it's Discord's body, occupied by Corvo ;)

Well, this is developing nicely.

Kind of glad you decided against the scifi bit to be honest lol. Loved the story though, been waiting for so long for this! So is Hope in the changeling castle now? As Chrysalis?

i feel like there wasnt enough pony....

1813066 In between chapter, don't worry.

You've made up a lot of new powers haven't you? I'm not about to rage at you for straying from canon, I'm just curious. And does Corvo say the words for each power in the game? I think he does but I could only ever make out a faint whispering noise.
I am going to rage a bit now. There is Willing Suspension of Disbelief, and then there is a woman punching a guy so hard he flies 37 metres. He was punched in the head, and you said that his skull was basically destroyed. The body would have moved a bit, certainly, but she would have just punched his head off. I'm pretty sure that Mythbusters have done something that would illustrate this.
Sorry, rage over. I'm kinda anal about this sort of thing.

1812895
Actually she's in the castle Nightmare Moon was fought off. Next chapter I'll explain how Corvo stumbled onto her :P Expect delusional laughter and complete denial from her. Corvo took kinda well, the change of scenery, but the girl was recently insane and so she'll have trouble adjusting... Oh the fun I'll have with that...

1813066
Next chapter will show what has happened to Celestia, Twilight and the rest and some good ol' Corvo action. This one was showed what is happening in Dunwall mostly as I thought readers would also like to know that.

1813834
Yes I did make up a lot of new powers, often unique for every kind of individual who was given such.

Corvo whispers something while he uses those, so I figured it was mostly obligatory to use them. It's just my idea to use latin :P

I am going to rage a bit now. There is Willing Suspension of Disbelief, and then there is a woman punching a guy so hard he flies 37 metres. He was punched in the head, and you said that his skull was basically destroyed. The body would have moved a bit, certainly, but she would have just punched his head off. I'm pretty sure that Mythbusters have done something that would illustrate this.

Yeah, might have gone a little overboard with this. Making the body fly sounds way more impressive though :P But I'll keep closer to reality next time.

Well your new chapter was something i really didnt expected from you. The begining was very good, i liked how you described the Outsider and basically the creation of the galaxy. The mistical iteams like orbs and black eyes shards. Well it kinda reminds me of Ameasia ^^
Then after it was short interaction with Fluttershy-Floretta. It was quite interesting i must say. But after it i was basically trown back by how you took a sharp turn from the story and started telling about the Asilium and the famous resident of it. That part was really long and yes i understand that you wanted a new character into the story, but ,wow, i never saw anyone done something like this in the way you did. I dont know what to think of it. At some sort it really left me asking myself what im reading...where is Corvo...where is Equestria...when this modern Dunwall is going to at end... well but in the other hand we have a quite interesting test subject at our disposal dont we... (evil laught)
Still i really didnt understand how Sokolov son turned to be like his fahter back after his ‘redemtion’ . I understand him doing that for the ‘future of mankind’, but I cant really imagine him being evil. Even Sokolov didn’t seem as the man capable of doing something of pure rage going as far as beating poor test subject for his mistakes. So until I get more information of Sokolov’s son downfall his character seems off. After seeing that Dunwall is living in Golden years (compared what we saw in-game) . No need on experimenting on humans as far as there are rats :)
But we are getting here off-topic. Now lets talk about Corvo. He doesn’t really shows in this chapter until the end. But there was a mention (gossip) of Corvo using his power against anyone who is brave or foolish enough to stand against Emilly. I understand that he is the Lord Protector, but why give him so much power. It would be more reasonable to see Corvo hiding his powers knowing that Outsider's 'blessing' isnt't very welcomed in the ranks of elite Dunwall guards, also in city Watch. And did you really need to give Corvo so much power to be able cripple Dunwall. I understand that in-game you kill some famous aristocrats, but only with a help of royalist. I cant imagine seeing Corvo fighting more that 10-15 guards at the same time.
Ok now about doc Pyotr Yershov. Well the name is really nice as much as i can say. But did Outsider really found a young psychiatrist interesting... I think not. It is said that he has the mark from old times he cant really remeber, soooo basicaly he got it in his childhood. Oh my Outsider really likes small children it seems ^^
Ok it is getting dark... lets move on... about the test subject, Hope... Well she kinda reminds me of one character of Red Alert or was it Command and Conquer, well it doesnt matter, but I find it really srange to see how Outsider simple brakes the dimmensions of two words and poor souls are twisted between them . But the idea is nice.

I see where this is going and im not here to lie to you, I'm loosing interest in this story. I perfectly understand that everyone has there ideas and imagination and i aprrove of originality put into this story. I will read the next chapter whenever it goes out and then i would decide if it is worth continuing reading.

1822287

Still i really didnt understand how Sokolov son turned to be like his fahter back after his ‘redemtion’ . I understand him doing that for the ‘future of mankind’, but I cant really imagine him being evil. Even Sokolov didn’t seem as the man capable of doing something of pure rage going as far as beating poor test subject for his mistakes. So until I get more information of Sokolov’s son downfall his character seems off. After seeing that Dunwall is leaving in Golden years (compared what we saw in-game) . No need on experimenting on humans as far as there is rats.

Oh Sokolov was more than capable to do atrocities. He injected captured people with Rat Plague just to observe the results. As to his son you can't really say a character is "off" when there is absolutely no information given about him and is basically my own creation. What caused him to become like this? The Golden Age of Dunwall introduced so many revolutions in medicine that studying human biology and limits of human body could become some kind of a passion, leading to many discoveries but also more questions. Passion can quickly turn into obsession...

And well, you cannot test everything on rats...

Now lets talk about Corvo. He doesn’t really shows in this chapter until the end. But there was a mention (gossip) of Corvo using his power against anyone who is brave or foolish enough to stand against Emilly. I understand that he is the Lord Protector, but why give him so much power. It would be more reasonable to see Corvo hiding his powers knowing that Outsider's 'blessing' isnt't very welcomed in the ranks of elite Dunwall guards, also in city Watch. And did you really need to give Corvo so much power to be able cripple Dunwall. I understand that in-game you kill some famous aristocrats, but only with a help of royalist. I cant imagine seeing Corvo fighting more that 10-15 guards at the same time.

First off all, to Emily Corvo was a Father figure, she loved him very much and considered him family. Furthermore she looked up to him and as that it might be easily deduced that he would be given much authority over many affairs, especially due to the fact that she was very young when restored to the throne.

Having much authority and deep relation with Emily, being somewhat afraid of the possibility of losing her again, considered what you had to come through, wouldn't you be a little bit concerned if not paranoid over the security?

As to what was his extent of authority I won't say yet.

Furthermore there is nowhere stated that Corvo came clean about his powers... No, really that would be just a little bit irrational, considering that the main religion of the Empire treats The Outsider like a devil.

Also there is nowhere said that he actually came out and attempted to personally eliminate someone.

You have to remember that gossips are created by society and when Corvo was restoring Emily to her throne there were some who witnessed what he did, using some kind of "demonical" powers These stories quickly spread adding a dark shadow to the hero figure.

Remembering that he was able to non-lethally take out some famous figures alone with some kind of unnatural powers, people would quickly attribute him with holding an evil secret.

Finally though, these are only gossips and as such don't hold the full truth. What was really Corvo doing during those years of Empire Golden Age, what kind of things did he do and what kind of authority was given to him is yet to be said and shown.

Ok now about doc Pyotr Yershov. Well the name is really nice as much as i can say. But did Outsider really found a young psychiatrist interesting... I think not. It is said that he has the mark from old times he cant really remeber, soooo basicaly he got it in his childhood. Oh my Outsider really likes small children it seems ^^

Well there was a nameless child with a Mark of The Outsider in the game, so as you can see he gives powers to many different people ;) You can't also be sure that he wouldn't find very young Yershov interesting, as there are no details about his past given and what he did to deserve the Mark. You can only deduce that Pyotr got the powers completely unaware of the fact and not contacted by the Outsider, or he repressed his memories for some reason.

Immediately assuming that it would be impossible is to be honest a little bit unfair :(

Ok it is getting dark... lets move on... about the test subject, Hope... Well she kinda reminds me of one character of Red Alert or was it Command and Conquer, well it doesnt matter, but I find it really srange to see how Outsider simple brakes the dimmensions of two words and poor souls are twisted between them . But the idea is nice.

I don't know why it is strange in all honesty as I already said many times that the extent of Outsider's power is unknown and that he has control over time and reality. He can bend both to his will, so why wouldn't he be able to break the dimensional wall? Also switching bodies is not the only result of the gash. The Void is seeping through and this might lead to some very interesting developments...

I showed it mostly to explain that everyone has motivation and The Outsider is not in fact all-powerful, making a very human decision here. He took a course of action that in the long-term might have devastating consequences for both dimensions, but he doesn't pay much attention to it and for now is fully focused on his goal.

I see where this is going and im not here to lie to you, I'm loosing interest in this story. I perfectly understand that everyone has there ideas and imagination and i aprrove of originality put into this story. I will read the next chapter whenever it goes out and then i would decide if it is worth continuing reading.

:pinkiecrazy: I think I'm too unpredictable to really even myself say, I know where this is going, because in all honesty... I DON'T :pinkiecrazy: The story is a chaotic storm in my mind that sometimes shows me more lucid and clear ideas.

As such I reserve myself the right to still surprise you and pique your interest ^^ Also thanks for the comment and reading the thing.

beautiful, simply beautiful....so i'm guessing this fic will be quite a long one?:duck:

1828542

Thank you! And yes I'm planning on making it pretty darn long :D

1544128 Bloodwing,How is Corvo going take out Celestia and Luna,Two Godess of power we don't know

1843702

Oh, you'll just have to wait and see :> Like Jessamine said, it can be done politically... Sort of.

1878477
Thank you! I shall cherish this mustache and am pleased that you're interested in the story ^^

Sooooooooooooo badass.

1920469

And I will keep it that way! Weehoo! :pinkiecrazy:

1727801

first of all that's not how shades of gray work.

Gray means good has bad parts and evil has good

Ex Crovo will kill if he must but also go out of his way to protect for he is both killer and protector. Yes he might think this is all fake but after some time he might not be sure. So he will slowly be more unwilling to take that risk . Also the fact the outsider is.making clear demands. After in the game he has stated.over.and over the outsider never tells those he blessed what to do will them? Crovo would have to question the right away

Right now its seems I was right this is a in.name.only version of dishonored were Crovo can just pull out new powers like the sue he has become.

Whatever you don't care. What matters is that its.dark and gore and stupid people think that's the seal of quality.

1958415

First, to me shades of gray mean that there is no clear line between evil and good. That's how I look at it at least and that's how I try to keep it in here. Corvo did something terrible in the beginning, not really smart if you look at it. The consequences might will fall onto someone else, someone innocent. This could be something that will be haunting him later on if you can deduce easily.

Secondly, I'm not sticking completely to canon as you can tell. I'm developing The Outsider's personality and yes he is making a demand and he has some kind of a plan in here probably. I'm expanding the universe slightly, because it amuses me.

The basic frame of the story is that many years have passed since the game plot itself, some new more developed powers appear (kinda figured that as a cosmic being, The Outsider could give more than only 6 strictly limited abilities), some new additional facts added to the background, some new points in the whole history of Dunwall, a nice sandbox to play in.

Third, yes he pulled some powers indeed, but you see that it didn't end good for him (the decomposing body bit). I believe that if he wants to survive and not be consumed by the Void completely (again) he can't go all pedal to the metal. Will be hard to go on rampage like that though :(

And yup it has blood and it's dark because I like dark and I like gore. Also adding psychologically dark, but that will be a little bit later ^^

I understand that the story itself if far from perfect or good for that matter. I'm just an amateur man, still learning quite a lot, trying to improve myself as best as I can :) I appreciate the criticism, but really we were over these points quite a lot and I simply don't see what you want me to do really.

Allow Corvo to be captured and then make friends with Ponies? I wouldn't enjoy writing that I'm afraid, I prefer the atmosphere of alienation and hostility. Something that is new to Equestria. There are quite a lot of fics where the main character makes friends and damn I just want something different, you know?

Make the story more canon? Well it wouldn't be a bad idea, but I just want to expand these two Worlds so much. It gives me an itch.

Make Corvo less of an badass and more let's say humane? It could be done and all, but I just love badasses and renegades. But yeah, will probably tune down with it at some point. I mean there are moments for everyone when their past catches up with them, no?

And hell, I don't know what are you basing him being a sue on? I mean, sure he has some nice powers which I would also like to have but he's far from being a sue.

You think he's overpowered? Well if you take away his ability to speak = bye bye awesomesauce powers. He's also not at all resistant to magic. How he succeeded with the Princesses?

1. Element of surprise (gives you even one bonus turn in DnD)
2. The Princesses being in a completely new situation
3. Overwhelming feeling of stress. This can limit your ability to think straight, so no wonder no one thought of shutting him up :P
4. Corvo is someone used to infiltration so he was more collected.
5. Time control O_o

So in fact, you could say luck... And time-control... Time-control a lot.

Also sorry, for being snappy previously and all. I'm just kind of a bitter, lonely and sad person. I take every part of every comment someone makes very seriously and sometimes wrongly interpret it as an assault on myself. So I apologize again and well, I know you won't change your mind and the fact that a Pony character died in the story will bother you so I hope you will find a better written story that will satisfy your taste :)

1959255

I'm not saying there is only good or evil, I'm saying you need to have characters do both good AND evil, and so far you're only are having them do evil. If Crovo just murders half a town it doesn't matter if he had a good reason or "feels bad" about it he still murdered half the town. There's no white in him, you can't make grey with just black, something you seem to keep forgetting.

You know the settling were the word Grimdark comes form? Warhammer 40,000 guess what? For the past view years they've been toning the grimdarkness down, like way down. Because they realized people don't care about the story, or characters. So they've been making the "good" sides more noble with real heroes but still keeping the bad. Same with the evil sides having reasons rather than be cartoonly villains.

You're Crovo is just a psychopath making excuses. Like you said him murdering a bunch of ponies at the start means he never has to face those consequences, even wend he should, at very least run into their families. You know like in the game. Because the things you do have consequence for everyone.

Yeah Crovo is so badass it doesn't seem like he needs to struggle, it really created tension wend he fights things that can in no way beat him ever.

I know he has time control, I also know he can only do it for a few seconds and it drains most of his powers juice thingy.

Like dark sure, but guess what happens wend you add in too much dark without the light? You trip over something and can't find your way. Your Crovo is just a pure evil asshole who shouldn't win and you made his. Right now Judge Dredd is more likable and he's a fascist lawman. If everyone is an asshole you don't care what happens to them.

Breaking away form canon is like I said before fine. But too much makes those parts in name only, and then ask yourself why the fuck are you even writing about it and not your own original story?

So? A lot of people make stories about them in war and grimdark up the ass, they're never really good but then again keeping the tone of the show is hard and people are too stupid to know that adding in rape and murder doesn't mean the story is good.

Yeah fine with the Outsider, but those are the only things we know about him, its usually a good ideal to at least keep some of those.

Again like I said I'm not saying your story is bad for dark elements or breaking away form form canon. My problem is that you have broken away form canon so much and made the story so dark with everyone doing grimdark shit its impossible for me to enjoy this story.

Again stupid people will like it.

1959441

I'm not saying there is only good or evil, I'm saying you need to have characters do both good AND evil, and so far you're only are having them do evil. If Crovo just murders half a town it doesn't matter if he had a good reason or "feels bad" about it he still murdered half the town. There's no white in him, you can't make grey with just black, something you seem to keep forgetting.

Well, can't really count leaving both the rulers they were ordered to neutralize as necessarily evil. Corvo already had his eyes opened, from the delusion he seemed to be in. So far the whole concept of grayness hasn't properly flourished in exchange for action of previous chapters. It's hard when your belief crumbles like that and it's even harder to accept it right away. It takes some adjusting. Overall it won't be easy to make the standard white you seem to be thinking should happen, as Corvo still has to somehow fulfill his part of the deal, the story initially begins in a position that makes the main character evil by definition.

You're Crovo is just a psychopath making excuses. Like you said him murdering a bunch of ponies at the start means he never has to face those consequences, even wend he should, at very least run into their families. You know like in the game. Because the things you do have consequence for everyone.

I never said he doesn't have to face consequences, that was his rationalization in the given moment. Won't deny he came through some things in Dunwall I still haven't described yet, that might have changed him slightly. He lashed out in a fit, which normal person wouldn't do probably. But he's not normal at all. Like I said, I understand you don't like the fact Ponies died, but this was not done for his amusement and ripples are there. The fact he didn't face them yet doesn't mean he won't. Consequences don't have to be immediate.

And actually everyone that took a life multiple times is by definition a psychopath, because of the reduced emotional response developed, so even the heroes could actually be slightly psycho.

Yeah Crovo is so badass it doesn't seem like he needs to struggle, it really created tension wend he fights things that can in no way beat him ever.

I applaud you on the awesome ability to make sarcasm happen, but other than that badass is a term i haven't used first, but people here seem to so I guess there has to be something in it. So far he initially created a kind of shock-wave that made most of the Ponies he faced struggle to comprehend that they have a new enemy (or an old one). It's hard to fight under such circumstances, as Equestrian army isn't exactly used to that kind of thing either, which you should be able to deduce easily. But as people tend to, the Ponies also will accept the fact and start to actually jump into action, instead of simply staring.

Like dark sure, but guess what happens wend you add in too much dark without the light? You trip over something and can't find your way. Your Crovo is just a pure evil asshole who shouldn't win and you made his. Right now Judge Dredd is more likable and he's a fascist lawman. If everyone is an asshole you don't care what happens to them.

Talk about exaggeration. It would end differently if he was an evil asshole. At the beginning he did something out of necessity and delusion. Yes it might not really be justified by anything and it will be something I'll use later on but that doesn't make him instantly an evil asshole. One event doesn't describe a character. As the story goes I will expand the issue of remorse and the impact on his psyche much more. He's not evil but seems to me you simply portrayed him as such due to the event, This story is supposed to be long and I won't be instantly showing these let's say whiter elements. Heh my mistake for waiting so long and losing those less patient.

Breaking away form canon is like I said before fine. But too much makes those parts in name only, and then ask yourself why the fuck are you even writing about it and not your own original story?

Don't feel ready maybe? Don't know. It's easier to write in already created World, where you can learn before starting something on your own. Plus non-canon is fun to write in my opinion. I don't feel I have put it aside too much but know that I introduced some different elements that are still fine I suppose.

So? A lot of people make stories about them in war and grimdark up the ass, they're never really good but then again keeping the tone of the show is hard and people are too stupid to know that adding in rape and murder doesn't mean the story is good.

Wow, I read this part of your "cultural argument" twice and... Nah, forget it.

Yeah fine with the Outsider, but those are the only things we know about him, its usually a good ideal to at least keep some of those.

Things we think we know about him :) But yes here you have a point and I still will try to keep some of his known characteristics

Again like I said I'm not saying your story is bad for dark elements or breaking away form form canon. My problem is that you have broken away form canon so much and made the story so dark with everyone doing grimdark shit its impossible for me to enjoy this story.

I intended to make this story very long and it's hardly even properly developed. I feel that I haven't broken from the canon as much, but rather expanded it without changing much of the basics, maybe I'm wrong but I simply enjoy it the way it is. I don't know who is doing "grimdark shit" as you put it bluntly, except for the known situation that occurred in Ponyville, but other than that there wasn't any more murdering or raping or whatever you put in grimdark. Yes there were mostly dark settings, but that's how it should be, not that really cheerful at all.

Again stupid people will like it.

Mate you can even piss all over this story as much as you like, you can point out what you think flaws are in it, but saying something like that is purely rude and only speaks negatively about yourself.

1959789

its been a while but if I'm not mistaken the only leaders in Dishonored who believed killing were necessarily evils were the bad guys, who started a plague to kill poor people.

And the whole point of Low Chaos was proving there are other ways, able bad or worst but sending slave owners to their own mines is karma.

Emily models her rule based off of what Crovo does so a High Chaos run would turn her into a tyrant.

The theme of the game is what are you going to do? Will like you say just lay down and accept the hell that is Dunwall or do you do something about it. Your Crovo doesn't have his eyes open, they're closed shut unable to look for other options because those are too hard to find.


There is a few really bad stories they only "good" parts is throwing dark elements for the sake of them.
That what happens wend you're a super cynic, you just lay down and take it rather than do something about the problem.


I wouldn't make this super long you're already messed with far too much and made things to a point were readers will stop caring what happens because everyone is either nuts, a psychopath, or broken. Plus you will loose focus of the story and things just drag on.

Meh whatever.

1960175

Holy shitsnacks :D

Why the hell do you think he didn't kill the Princesses? Because there are other ways! And they plan to use one of them, yay! Sorry, but it kind of proves that you don't read comprehensibly...

There is a few really bad stories they only "good" parts is throwing dark elements for the sake of them.
That what happens wend you're a super cynic, you just lay down and take it rather than do something about the problem.

Like I said this story, is far from being good, but it's not as bad as you make it sound either. If there is a problem I bet I'll find it. You actually made some valid points in our discussion there, which will help me, so thanks for that :) Also would be nice if you could define your vision of "dark" and maybe throw it out there? Like what does "dark" mean to you, what do you except from it, exactly?

I wouldn't make this super long you're already messed with far too much and made things to a point were readers will stop caring what happens because everyone is either nuts, a psychopath, or broken. Plus you will loose focus of the story and things just drag on.

Nah, you're just being pessimistic, I'm sure I'm focused on the story and plot itself, I don't see everyone being a psycho, broken or nuts either. Of course some will go through tough times, but it's very rare to develop mental issues.

Meh whatever.

Cave Johnson, we're done here.

1960327

I must admitted I haven't read the current chapters super well.

Dark to me is, dark themes, like war, death ect but with light elements like hope and joy thrown in. Because too much dark you can't see and get lost.

You can't have a low point without a high, in other words this http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/jimquisition/6281-Crying-Through-The-Laughs

1960524

I must admitted I haven't read the current chapters super well.

I see...

Dark to me is, dark themes, like war, death ect but with light elements like hope and joy thrown in. Because too much dark you can't see and get lost.
You can't have a low point without a high, in other words this http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/jimquisition/6281-Crying-Through-The-Laughs

Yup, guess I waited a little bit too long to introduce something lighter. Well shit... But you know, you learn from your mistakes, so I'll keep it in mind :P Let this lighten the mood:

Yes, I also was like "whaaaa-...?"

Quite good, so far.

Before the bristles come out, I'd like to say that I'm not going to write a 2-4 paragraph essay/rant pointing out why and how I think this story doesn't conform to my specific and subjective ideas. But if you would humour me, I'd like to make a few observations regarding what I've seen from the story, and from the comments by other readers.

Your quality of writing is magnificent. In terms of dialogue and description the story is quite vividly descriptive and highly immersive. I think most people here are objecting to the content of the story, and the plot. I'm not going to comment on this. It is your story, and you can write it how you want.

A problem that I think is arising is one that I'm beginning to encounter in my own writing: story pacing. In this chapter you've introduced quite a few characters and plot advancements in rapid succession- and for most readers I think it may be difficult to incorporate all the information at once. To add to this, like you yourself admitted, many of these advancements take small forays outside of Dishonored's canon. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not criticizing this fact. I'm only remarking that I think if you were to slow things down a bit, your readers might open up a bit more to the ideas being conveyed to them.

Again, the story itself is great. As a work of creative talent, I've no right to try and force my own conceptions on you or your work, I'm merely offering my views as a simple reader.

2008762

Thank you :) And yes, I know what you mean and I am taking your advice to the heart, as you are right. Again thank you for reading and your input good sir, I appreciate it very much :pinkiehappy:

I'll read this later.:pinkiehappy:

2241058
I really explained myself enough as it is for this story and I'm not about to get into it all over again. Read the comments and my explanations again if you want answers.as they sufficiently supply the explanations you seek. You don't like the concept, find a better one. I like dark and I'm gonna keep the story in this climate without care about pony-killing problems. People will die here, blood will be spilled, books wont be read, although logic will be supplied which I can't say about your weird issues.

2241095
Uh, ya rly. It all depends on your observations and personal approach. You seem like a "goodness and love" kind of guy so don't delve into this story as you simply won't like it at all.

2241356

Oh yeah, we can really judge someone's character and psychological profile fully, based on few sentences said in the game itself and then proceed to throw "OOC" left and right, overlooking facts and explanations, environmental pressure, supernatural interferences, additional past of the character and injection into new reality that really doesn't look anything like the old reality.

Should have introduced something lighter earlier though, That is surely what I did wrong, but oh well you learn something new every day.

God why does Fimfiction refuse to tell me when I get a reply to my comment? :facehoof:
Sorry for responding to all these at once.

2241094

Alright, I'm reading your comments. First thing I noticed is that you mention all he was told was to neutralize the princesses, which doesn't only mean kill them. Of course when he finally reaches them his first reaction is to kill them, until he suddenly decides that the world is not fake. He then slices Celestia's horn off. This is after several paragraphs talking about how both him and Jessamine realized that even though she was a ruler, she was still a nice person (pony, whatever). That would have been a nice moment for him to have a "What have I done?!" moment, but then, as I said, he slices her horn off. Another comment reminds people that this is based off low-chaos, and then proceed to say that it was fine that he was killing innocent ponies, because as far as he was concerned none of it was real (you probably realize by now that one of my major issues is the fact that most my problems from his OOCness is from the ridiculous idea that the entire world is an illusion).

A lot of your comments use how he feels regret as all the proof required that this is the low chaos Corvo, and not psycho!Corvo. The problem is that it doesn't matter how often you throw in something about him feeling regret if it never means anything. He very nearly kills Fluttershy, and feels regret. Then he does something just as bad, and then regret. And then he does another messed up thing, and then... Do you see where I'm coming from? You said in the comments how he regrets all this, but nothing in the story actually shows this. Sure it's mentioned in the story, but even that doesn't count because his actions completely contradict what he says.

I like dark and I'm gonna keep the story in this climate without care about pony-killing problems.

I think I wasn't clear enough. I don't care how dark Corvo is. Had this been based off a high chaos Corvo, everything would fit and make sense. My problem is from the fact that this Corvo is meant to be low chaos, but hardly seems to act like it. If it just said in the description that this was high chaos, he could go murder everyone on the planet for all I care. It wouldn't be interesting (probably hilarious at points actually), but at least it would fit.

People will die here, blood will be spilled, books wont be read, although logic will be supplied which I can't say about your weird issues.

Like I said above, the only problem I have with this (besides the last point obviously) is that it's high chaos behavior. And like I said above, if this was meant to be HC Corvo, I'd be perfectly fine with that.

2241114

You seem like a "goodness and love" kind of guy so don't delve into this story as you simply won't like it at all.

That's my point. The view I have is that Corvo is a good person (low chaos at least). The ending supports this in every single way (golden age, cure, happier). I'm not reading "goodness and love" into this based on what I want, I'm basing it off what the game says. If you want "dark and hateful" then why did you bother saying it was based off the low chaos ending in the first place?

2243678

Right here I think is another issue of communication. When I saw Corvo should be good in low chaos, I'm not saying it's all sunshine and rainbows (is that what you thought?). It's still a dark setting, and I completely understand that. However, his actions so far, against characters who have done absolutely nothing wrong to him. He's perfectly willing to ruin the lives of pretty much everyone in an entire country for completely messed up reasons. He's almost treating them as badly as he did with people like Campbell.

That's why I call OOC. Because while this Corvo is based off low chaos ending, he's acting nothing like it. So far his actions (I don't care how often the word regret is used. If he keeps doing the same thing, then obviously he doesn't really regret anything) seem like something high chaos Corvo would do.

Look, I'm sorry for ranting like this. I just hate how I can't enjoy this well written story (and for all my complaints, I will not deny that it is well written, as that would just be a lie). I don't hate you (I don't know any authors I don't like because of stories), I don't actually hate your story (though it probably seems like it), I just hate how I keep expecting one thing, and keep getting another. I think the main issue is that both of us have differing views as to how Corvo from a low chaos ending should be acting. You seem to focus on the darker aspects, and I'm focusing on the lighter aspects. I see the darker aspects to mean it should be high chaos, and you see them to be what low chaos was (if that makes sense).

Ugh, I didn't realize how long that got (that's what I get for responding to all three at the same time). :twilightoops:

Since I feel like I'm just wasting your time, then feel free to agree to disagree and I'll leave it at that. If you do respond, then I'll reply because I enjoy the discussion (as much as it likely seems that I don't).

As for this chapter, others have said everything. I'm eager to read about Fluttershy in Dunwall, but I pretty much stopped caring half way through the chapter due to the large amount of OCs and info dumps. Like others said, I think you introduced too many things in too short a time.

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Wow you are the first person from those previously criticizing to actually do that in a cultural and good-willed way. This surprises me positively and is indeed something new for me. I would quote some of my previous explanations and paragraphs from your critique but the issue I see here can be divided to quickly explain everything (hopefully).

First off the story is not even half done and as it is Corvo hasn't been able to properly start regretting his decisions that mostly were made in let's say hurry, under stress or in dire situations. What some may be forgetting is that, the whole deal he made is indeed very selfish and from the start positions him as, well... Evil. Initially he doesn't care about anything other than reaching his goal, which quickly ends badly to say the least. Now why does he believe it's not real? He's dealing with The Outsider, a cosmic being whose motives are not clear, the World he is in looks differently and I mean to the extreme. It is as if he was on an acid trip, which would make most question if they are not seeing illusions, plus the amount of warmth and goodness he suddenly encounters. It seems too unnatural to him.

About the low-chaos ending. Yes it has ended this way, but you really believe there would be no more opposition to Emily after she sat on the throne? No more bad people, wanting to get rid of her and possibly seize power? Being the Lord Protector, Corvo hasn't been sitting in a chair doing nothing, but had to actually make a lot of difficult moral choices that might have changed him... Corvo that entered Equestria is not the Corvo that saved Emily. He did some things that I was about to describe later, in order to maintain the "golden age". It is my way to underline that good cannot be forever truly maintained, it is a small candle-flame in the sea of darkness that can quickly go out any second. He still however has morality, that might have been shattered to an extent, especially now that he has to accept all that is happening around him and all that he has done. Which is a different thing from realizing it is real. Acceptance is the hardest step.

You have to remember that truly many, many years have passed in Dunwall. Even Sokolov is dead. Believing that Corvo would be the same person he was before Emily came into power wouldn't really make much sense.

As to his decisions, another thing many forget is the fact that Corvo is still human with many human weaknesses, one of which is making decisions under pressure. When you're in an unreal World and are fighting for your own existence, possibly even to save someone you love, observed by a cosmic being it would make people come to slightly illogical conclusions. Sure Corvo can work under pressure, but everyone has their limits. In fact I wanted him to make some bad choices, choices he would have to (inbound overused word) "regret" later in the story. Some of which he won't be able to really repair.

As to comparing the Pony bullies to Campbell? It's a standard human response to cognitive dissonance. Rationalizing a decision that was in fact tragic, to maintain own opinion and image about oneself. Corvo doesn't see himself as a murderer so he naturally would try to rationalize killing those Ponies. Be it by dumping all of it on the fact that "situation forced him to do it", which is partially true or on the fact that they were so evil, killing them was a favor to the World, which of course is ridiculous. Add to that the fact that Jessamine wanted to help ease his mind from the fact and he was able to temporary lock the issue away. That is until it resurfaces. He did kill innocents after all.

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Wow you are the first person from those previously criticizing to actually do that in a cultural and good-willed way.

That's kind of why I didn't bring up the arguments you used against those comments. :twilightsheepish:

Sure, they were related to my questions, but unfortunately it seems everyone who brought those points up did so in a way that personally insulted you, and anyone who enjoyed the story. I knew right then any response you made would be made defensively, because instead of just talking about the story they had to make it personal :facehoof:.

Anyway, that does make sense. It's my fault, because I keep forgetting that this does happen far after the ending, after Corvo just dies of old age. I guess the fact that he's in his prime again keeps making me think that this is only a small amount of time after the ending (in other words, his personality is still similar to how it is in the game). But again, that's my fault for forgetting that technically he's in his 80s or so (it said he died decades after the end of the game, so I imagine he'd be around that age). I guess I had just hoped he would have gone easier on Celestia and Luna, since they seem to be the type that he would actually respect (being that they hold a lot of power being rulers, and yet still remain kind and loving ponies).

Thanks for the response, and I apologize again for leaving that wall of text :twilightblush:.

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Not a problem, I like reading walls of text :P Hence why I make every chapter so darn long... And especially if that wall contains valuable information and is an entry point to a cultural discussion. For which to be honest you earned my respect, good sir.

Also you could yourself try to write a Dishonored crossover that actually takes place immediately after the low-chaos ending :) I would definitely read and enjoy it. I think you would do good as a writer, seeing you actually take consideration in what you write and do it comprehensively (unlike some other people that criticized the story and were unable to even keep proper grammar... Can't tell how much I wanted to point that out during the discussions with them).

Also if you will find any other issue that would bother you, do tell. I'm taking constructive criticism into consideration and always try to balance the story flow, including the advices I get.

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Thanks for the reply, and I doubt I'll be writing anything any time soon. It's weird since I like reading, but writing not so much. I guess I'm just a bit lazy :twilightblush:. Still, I'd love to see a story driven by character interaction where Corvo, not too long after a low chaos end, gets sent to Equestria by something like Piero's door. That means either just Corvo would be in Equestria, or (and this would be more interesting if done correctly) the door creates a stable portal which remains open, meaning both worlds can visit each other. Most of the character interaction I imagine would be (if he's there alone) Corvo trying to adjust to living in a place where everything is peaceful, and the nobility are not only not trying to muder him, but also generally nice ponies. If it's the open door, it'd deal with both sides adjusting to the fact that the other exists, and generally the interaction between the two (I wouldn't be surprised if Equestria lends every bit of help it can to try and help the survivors of the plague).

Basically, for me the most interesting part of the crossover wouldn't be the fighting (it would of course come up, it just wouldn't be the main focus), but instead the character interactions, and how each side deals with the large culture shock.

That said, I will keep on reading and leaving comments. I for one love how long each chapter is, since while it does take longer to read, at least I don't feel like each chapter is too short.

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I do enjoy the story. That's why I'm leaving reviews in the first place. Also, leaving reviews each chapter is what I usually do (especially when the chapters are long).

Besides, I've already discussed it with Bloodwing and apparently it was a case of miscommunication. I thought the way the description was worded meant Corvo would act one way (which was the main point behind a lot of my problems), and he thought it meant something different.

Anyway, I do fully agree with what you said. Even if I do have some problems with this story, I can easily say that it's more original and better written than a bunch of stuff on this site.

Any news on the next chapter?

When's the next chapter:raritydespair:

Are.... Are you dead?
Please don't be dead.

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It is dead... :ajbemused:

:raritydespair:R.I.P:raritycry:

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