A Dishonored/My Little Pony crossover.
The city of Dunwall, once the pride of the Isles, is on the brink of anarchy. As Emily Kaldwin, the child Empress, and her assassin-turned bodyguard, Corvo Attano, struggle to prevent the death of an Empire, a deal made with an Outsider sends Twilight Sparkle into the chaos.
Some credit for this goes to Urdeth, who helped pre-read my chapters.
Disclaimer:
Dishonored was co-created by Bethesda Softworks and Arkane Studios. MLP:FiM is property of Hasbro. I have no affiliation with either.
It seems good so far, just some minor formatting issues since some paragraphs are indented while others aren't. Storywise, it feels as if the first two chapters could be merged into one, or maybe go into further detail in each of them to flesh things out. Details like what exactly happened with the Loyalists and further backstory on the other characters should also probably be resolved early one, as the way that it stands will have a reader that's played the game with some questions.
I really like how Emily fits into all this.
...Now, is Dunwall ready for a purple magical talking pony?
Probably not.
And thus, our adventure begins.
Should you need any more help, Klepto, you know who to call.
GHOSTBU-
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-STERS
Thanks, I'll be sure to get in touch with you again.
Been wondering when someone would do a fanfic about this, it's possible people already have and I'm just blind, but yay
Hehe, I'm finishing writing a Dishonored crossover too, but it tells the story many years after what happened in the game.. Anyway good luck mate and have a Derped Rarity for the idea:
th03.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2012/297/6/4/rarity_got_derped_by_derant-d5iququ.png
so with wich ending are you working on this fanfic?the low chaos ending?
I forsaw this fanfic... Long ago.... Now to read.
I quite enjoyed this....I shall stal- I mean watch you as you create more word sequences that work well together. (I like your writing style)
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Despite the grim outset, I am working with the low chaos ending. I don't think I could work with the way Emily becomes a bloodthirsty tyrant on the high-chaos ending.
1524071 good cause i was hoping that you were using the low chaos ending it seens to be the most cannon ending and also my personal favorite
A dishonred fic already, damn that was quick.
Looking forward to reading it, gonna wait till I beat the game first in case of spoliers.
Hmm... This seems to be featued, huh.
Can someone please explain how the feature box works? I'm not sure anymore. 29:4 like to dislike ratio with a feature. Are there other variables?
Interesting premise that is done fairly well. It would be interesting to read what purpose Twilight could find in a plague-ridden, war torn city.
Intriguing. I wonder if Twilight and Spike will stay as a Ponie and a Dragon respectfully, or will they both be transformed into Humans? The Overseers would have a meltdown if they ever encountered these two in their original forms, and don't get me started on Piero and Solokovs reaction... Actually, i'm looking forward to Twilight meeting those two.
Emily Pankhurst: "you cant win a war, no one can win a war!"
me:
like
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Well, as of now, there are 37 likes, but there are 68 favorites.
I think someone is holding out on me.
when in doubt: face hoof
Ohhh this is gonna be good!
For the love of plasma weaponry, yyeeesssssss....
I have been waiting too long for a Dishonoured crossover.
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It's real.
Ah, good to see I'm not the only one doing this, and judging by the positive reception it'll be a good read. Watched.
The Outsider... that prick, I never liked him.
Looking forward to more.
In the case of placing spoilers and ruining the game for others who haven't played it yet, I find this story to be quite a wonder. The story is well-written and excellent ideas, seriously though, does anyone took notice that the markings on the portal was an easter egg of "Portal". I didn't know that at first, but man, I was like wooing all over.
The story is interesting, especially Twilight going to city of Dunwall by magical mean, but is it wise to have her visit to a grim and darken city. I was thinking more like having the Outsider interact with the princesses more than the student, so I'm kinda concern about that part. But seeing this is all about ponies, let's go through with it and let's see how it goes. The writing style was easy to read, descriptive and exciting because you could just imagine the scenario just by reading it. Another concerning about was Discord that use to rule over the Veil before the Outsider. I mean seriously, Discord ruling the Veil? I don't see the picture. Sure, the Outsider can be chaotic sometimes, but don't forget that he is a true neutral, both an angel and a demon and his goals are unknown and mysterious; which I find it to be interesting.
So in the end, cutting it short, the story was good, but the plot, well, I'm hoping that the next chapter have Whalers kidnapping the purple mare or something. Keep on writing good sir, I'm eager to see what happen next.
More please!
Well no offense against your story, but my story was more popular, but never got featured. I'm just wondering what factors lead to the feature box
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I was thinking on there being more interaction between Celestia and the Outsider, but I'll be completely honest with you.
I have trouble writing Celestia's character. I experimented with it during the first fiction piece I wrote... it didn't end well.
Regarding Discord and the Void, I was mainly using it as a writing item to give Celestia a bit of back story with the Outsider. Although re-watching "The Return of Harmony", I do see your point of view.
Regarding the Whalers, keep in mind that their supernatural abilities were linked directly to Daud, and as a result their abilities would most likely be diminished, if not reduced to nothing, when he died. However, I may consider going more in-depth with them later. Rest assured, the 'adventure' tag is there for a reason, things are just getting warmed up here.
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Personally, I think scoring the featured box takes a bit of luck, in addition to having a good story. Personally I would also appreciate any solid knowledge regarding the process of how a story makes the featured box. I've seen the same story make the featured box over and over again whilst other authors had to be content with sitting on the sidelines. (Not that I didn't like 'What Princesses Need', but it gets old after the third time you read it, y'know?)
EDIT: Ah, here we are, I looked it up. The explanation for featured stories are as follows:
"Featured stories are completely automated. They are calculated on a mix of a few things. The number of likes a story has received, the proportion of likes to dislikes, the total number of ratings, how frequently it's being viewed and the time since it was approved are all factored into the equation."
...Yeah, I think by now we can both agree that it feels a bit more complex than that.
You... this story... just...
ALL OF MY LOVE! ALL OF IT! I read this even before it became featured, and now that I have an account, just... Agkjdlkgjlgjhfllghdlghl
Please, keep this up!
sounds like corvo needs a little help from an outside friend
FUCKING YES! BEEN WAITING FOR A DISHONORED STORY TO COME ONTO FIMFICTION!
Brace yourselves. the dishonored crossovers are coming.
I just got Dishonored a week ago and haven't stopped playing since. And you sir, have made an awesome crossover. Keep it up!
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You know, as of now, there are three other Dishonored fics on this site...
I'd pretend that I'm the first, but that would be petty and dishonest, so here:
The Rat Assassin
Dishonored: The Outsider's Reach
An Even Sadder Hand Fate Has Dealt
Dishonored ponyfic, good Dishonored ponyfic. Well, I'm impressed
You combined Dishonored and MLP. Instant like and fave.
All of my yes.
1527310 That could be me, But I'll fix that
Good stuff dude. I honestly can't wait to see where you take this.
Well alright then, this just got very interesting.
If I may make a suggestion:
You shouldn't ignore Twilight's 'home universe' while she's out on her adventures.
How do her friends react to her disappearance?
How does Celestia react? Seeing as she probably knows exactly where Twilight went.
And even more importantly:
Assuming Twilight makes it back eventually (albeit with some scars, mental and physical)
Do not end the story right when she gets back.
Having a Twilight, changed by another world, have to readjust to life in Equestria makes for some damn good reading.
Even if you completely ignore my advice, this is shaping up to be a good story. And I look forward to reading more.
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I don't mind the interaction with Celestia, but why her? Shouldn't it be Luna instead. I thought she was the more interesting type, seeing that she was imprisoned by her sister for a thousand years. Also, the Whalers aren't link to Daud, they're bestowed upon the gifts given to him; and by likely chance that Whalers may have a new leader and following Daud example in teaching new recruits of their powers.
From what I have read so far I can safely say that I can follow this story with some antisipation. While I was a bit skeptical at first to read this as most of the time when I see a crossover with a pretty small word count per chapter it usally leads to some combination of bad writing, gratuitous fan serves, or rushed plot. I'm happy to see this one break the mold that and can't wait to continue with the next part.
Hey, it has come to attention that many of you are adding this story to your favorites, without dropping a 'like'.
I don't like being held out on, so please leave a like if you fav'. I appreciate it.
Interesting chapter, seems as though Emily is going to be the one playing the main role as rather than Corov...I like it.
I can't wait for the plot to start developing. Knowing the Outsider, this HAS to be interesting.
Sooooo...is it too much to ask for spoilers?
1540739 Since the great tracking/favorites consolidation debacle, faving does not necessarily constitute a like. It is a step above the read it later, in that you want to receive updates on new chapters, but if the quality of said chapters declines it can easily be un-starred. A like means that you endorse this story with your own personal stamp of approval. I end up "liking" probably about 5% of the stories I track(fav).
As for what this means for you and your story? A few more good chapters to give a better feel of the story and you'll more than likely get a thumbs up from me.
Entertaining chapter and nice timing. I'll be interesting in reading the rest of it as you post.
YOU LYING SACK OF SHIT!
I DID leave a like!
sorry about that, either way KEEP IT UP SON! or daughter.....whichever you are
1530007 Maybe you aren't the first, but you do have something those others don't. Yours is a pony going to Dishonored, theirs are all Corvo going to Equestria. A fresh perspective is always nice.