I'm wanted in 14 different countries for Political assassination, man slaughter, assault, and jaywalking. So I decided to write stories.
The Outsider. His power had been sealed away, and without it, Dunwall and the rest of the universe maybe destroyed. In a desperate attempt to save himself and his universe, he tricks Corvo into fighting his way through a unknown land to regain his magic, by destroying the one who sealed his it away.
Or does he?
Crossover, Dishonored/MLP
Not a self-insert...I based my account off of Corvo/dishonored.
Page generated in 0.061 seconds
Total duration
1,012 users online
1,321,195 hits today, 2,004,447 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
_____________________________Author's note__________________________________________
Just wanted to say that I understand that Celestia was a bit OOC in this chapter. She'll be better in later chapters, I Pinkie promise. Please leave any mistakes I missed below, I will gladly fix them. Thanks : D
Heavy edits have been made to OOC characters, and the story in general.
EDIT: OK this is the final version of the Chapter, Pinkie promise, I want to give a huge thanks to Urdreth, who pre-(post)Read this for me and edited it. It wouldn't be nearly as good without him.
Hah when I logged on today I was wondering if any dishonored fics have started, and look what I found here!
1445840
Funny right...
What did you think?
Any suggestions?
More... I must have more...
1445863 I like it. I found a few mistakes that kept bugging me through the chapter but otherwise great :3 sorry but im writing on my phone and I cant really list the mistakes, one was near the end, you said luna was goddess of the sun. if I have a chance ill look through it and name the rest
cant wait to see more!
I searched for this two days ago and found you, glad to see that you delivered!
Was expecting Corvo to be the no killing style, but this is good too.
Looking forward to the next part a lot.
Wonder what the no kill option is for this mission, hmm. Ah well, tranq darts for everything!
By the way, you misspelled scene as seen.
1446003
You're right. Outsider was OOC big time. I will be doing heavy editing on his part (and in general).
I will be taking another look at the chapter and posting a revised addition, as this was more of a "testing the waters" type chapter (If people hate the whole Dishonored and MLP thing there's no point in writing this...
)
I will correct the spelling/grammar issues.
As for the Dishonored cannon I was actually talking about the whole faction and the rest of Dunwall (Who's citizens are tricked into beveling Corvo is evil and murdered the empress)....I suppose I could make that more clear though
Now about the characterization of Corvo... I feel this is a very...odd topic to say the least. Throughout the game the things you do/say can very greatly. I feel I based his attitude and general character on the choices you make more than what you say in the game. (What you do has a way bigger impact than what you say, in my opinion.) I kind of based "This Corvo" on the things you do in the Golden Cat walk through (violent version.).
All in all I think that even though there is a character that has been determined, his attitude will be based on what you as the player do.
...Well I'l shut up now and edit the chapter. I eagerly await your response.
Thanks for your input.
I'm going to see where this leads, dispite some of it being OOC on both ends.
1446446>>1446003>>1445925
Heavy edits have been made.
Read if your interested.
Corvo writing a fictional tale about corvo? Oh. This makes me all giddy inside....
I just got this game last night
Awesome story so far can't wait for more
I was wondering when this crossover would come you work fast
FUCK YEAH! keep it up!
Dishonored crossover?
Check.
(Excitement level: +5)
It's not that bad?
Check.
(Excitement level: +15)
Needs heavy editing and a pre-reader's help urgently?
Check.
(Excitement level: -5)
Here I see a potentially amazing story held back by some very basic grammar mistakes. Wrong comma placement, wrong use of "its/it's", capitalizing where it shouldn't be and not capitalizing where it should be...
A side of OOC and you've got yourself a recipe for disappointment!
...*sigh*
I want to like this, I really do. But before I can give this a thumbs up and proudly say "Amazing!", it really needs more work put into it. An excellent idea held back by a mediocre execution.
But don't fret! You shouldn't take what I said as "This is shit, stop writing.", oh no! Again, if you, say, get yourself a pre-reader and edit out things like the grammar errors and the OOC issue, you, good sir, have yourself a diamond of a story. I hope you take this as constructive criticism, not pointless insults to your (potentially great) work.
I'll keep track of it in hopes you'll listen. If you end up not listening, well, I guess I'll see it in the next chapter...
1451749
In that case my friend I have a very important question to ask you.
*Gets down one one knee*
Will you be my pre-reader? Please?
(I'm serious about this.)
You're correct. I feel that by having a pre-reader to rip into my work before actually putting it out here the quality would improve greatly. I can honestly say I never actually considered a pre-reader before. With that being said I just want to state that I am OK with you saying no. (You probably have stuff outside of MLP that you have to do...) But in the case that you do say no, would you mind pointing me to someone who might say yes?
Now about the OOC problem (Corvo.)...You want to refer to the comment I wrote to badwolf up above. "...Now about the characterization of Corvo... I feel this is a very...odd topic, to say the least. Throughout the game the things you do/say can very greatly. I feel I based his attitude and general character on the choices you make more than what you say in the game. (What you do has a way bigger impact than what you say, in my opinion.) I kind of based "This Corvo" on the things you do in the Golden Cat walk through. (violent version.)"
With that being said...I would like to know who else you think is OOC and how to fix it.
I be quiet now, sorry for writing you a novel
.
1451905
>>writing a novel
>>barely 700 words
corvo pls
*cough*
Besides, I guess I am at fault for writing a "novel" too. 'Tis only fair you return the favor!
Now, I didn't think Corvo was OOC, oh no. Corvo's a blank slate depending on which approach the player decides to take. In fact, I think you quite nailed his character (although the part where he smiles when he reaches Equestria was a bit too much. I mean, forests DO exist in his own world. Maybe not in Dunwall, but hey, that's the capital of a steampunk empire).
The characters I thought OOC were:
1- The Outsider. Why? Well, when I played the game (multiple times, mind you), I always thought him as not some incredible god, but as a shadowy figure. A mystery. What does he want? Why am I involved in his plans? And since Corvo's a blank slate, I envisioned my thoughts about the Outsider wouldn't conflict with Corvo's. But I might be wrong on that one. Corvo never speaks to the Outsider, so I might be confusing "silent interest" with "sheer, unmitigated terror".
At any rate, you barely missed his character. He's in this for entertainment. He throws Corvo under a bus and watches, intrigued, at how he reacts.
"You always end up in such interesting places, Corvo."
He is nothing short of a trickster. When he's thrown under the bus, I doubt he'd ask politely or force our protagonist to save him. He'd trick Corvo into helping him, just as he tricked the assassin into getting in this elaborate plot to kill the Lord Regent just so he could have a laugh (but... maybe he DID trick Corvo! DUN DUN DUU-)
2- Celestia. She seems rather annoyed at everything. The Outsider, paperwork... Is it that time of the month?
...Do horses even have that time of the month?
She's also very quick into sending her students into potential death (or worse). But, then again, that happens in the show quite a LOT, so I guess you can be forgiven for that.
BUT... There's a third element.
The Outsider is known to trick others and give them supernatural powers just for his amusement, breaking natural laws in the process. Can you name another god-like being that does that...?
3- DISCORD!
I'm howlin' at the moon, and sleepi- No? Ok.
Anyway, that's right! Discord! Our favorite scapegoat for anything conveniently bad that happens in Equestria, oh yes! More importantly, the role he plays.
Chaos.
My point is, it would make much more sense (and be a lot more lore-friendly) if Celestia confused the Outsider with Discord. The Outsider got into one little fight and his momma got scared and said "You're movin' in with your auntie and uncle in Dunwall."
...Ok, fine. Completely serious now. So, she confused him with Discord, sent him on his way (ended up binding him) aaand that's where our story begins. Is it a bit radical? Yeah, I admit it, and you might actually not even like this idea I have which is making me wonder why I'm even mentioning it. It does make more sense than "Hey, so the Outsider like, wanted some territory even though he has his own and Celestia was like "Nuh-uh" and kicked his ass because he almost started some inter-dimensional war. He comes crying back to Corvo and CORVO's like "Nuh-uh". They banter a bit and Corvo jumps in to SAVE BOTH WORLDS FROM DOOOOOOM!"
...Yeah.
Oh, and, sure, I'll pre-read for ya. That is, if you don't already hate me. I do tend to speak my mind quite often.
...AND THAT'S HOW YOU WRITE A NOVEL.
......... A Dishonored fanfic? Sweeeeeeeet. Me? I played the game in low chaos and enjoyed it very much. But the way you're writing this story it seems you prefer the high chaos route, correct? Corvo is going into Equestria....... Where this has nothing to do with his revenge against those who wronged him. I mean he would be killing innocent ponies (unless in self defense) so try to go the non-lethal approach here. You could probably have Corvo constantly get into situations where he is overcome with a raging bloodlust because the would fit in nicely. Like sometimes he'll see certain ponies, accidentally, as the people who wronged him. OR you could have him kill corrupt pony aristocrats. That would perfect. It's OK. Don't be jelly of my amazing idea which would be yours if you used it. But who am I kidding? Do whatever you want.
Author's note
Huge thanks to Urdreth for being generally bad ass and editing this, so that my insane jumble of words was actually readable (And good).
Great job!
I hope that it didn't take too long to get this out..I was having a bit of a fit when writing the fist iteration for this chapter.
Must have re wrote it a billion times!
Anyways Enjoy!
Another Dishonored crossover. Interesting. Well, I have some things to point out:
1) Trans tank? Don't you mean whale oil? I don't ever recall anyone in the game ever calling them "trans" tanks. And tallboys use incendiary arrows, which is mentioned several times throughout the game.
2) The portrayal of the Outsider just feels way off. In the game, he presents himself as a mostly-neutral observer to all events that happen, only taking action to give a specific chosen his "mark" if he deems them "interesting" enough, and always there to see how things go down. If he's a god, shouldn't he already have these sorts of things in the bag? Why worry about it now of all times? He's a being of immense power from the Void, and he can fight a war that no one else can see, so why bother sending someone lesser to do the work, especially if there's a chance for that lesser to screw up and die and leave him back at square one? That he is now extremely concerned with a quite literal otherworldly threat just seems really, really odd and out of place to me.
3) As I've mentioned on the other Dishonored fic, I still believe the better suggestion for taking Corvo to Equestria would have been Piero's Door to Nowhere.
4) Corvo never took his mask off in the Golden Cat.
5) As mentioned before, this could still do with some prereader/editor work.
There's some more minor questions, such as whether or not Possession grants the ability to attack (I've gone full nonlethal in all my runs and as such have no need for powers outside of Dark Vision and Blink), and whether or not Corvo would have actually obtained enough runes to actually max out Possession by the Pendleton mission. I was also assuming that the Outsider can only appear in places where he can manifest his power (ie: dreams or Outsider shrines), but otherwise can't literally appear out of nowhere.
:1472868
Many of the reasons you have stated above are the reasons Corvo is so confused(They'll be answered in later chapters)...By the looks of it you've only read the first chapter...you should read more, and wait for the story to progress further and things will begin making sense.
Specifically about number two. I was actually going for that (The Outsider being out of place like that)...he's a god but for whatever reason he doesn't have all this in the bag. For all you know, the outsider just wanted to make things more interesting!
About four...He was never sent to Equestria either...it's a fanfic, If you want the real reason I just wanted to add a bit more creativity to the fic. Most of the stuff that happens will be cannon enough later on. I will however be making some of the things Corvo does be slightly different than in the game.
Five...I'v been working with a pre-reader/editor more recently.
Trans...http://dishonored.wikia.com/wiki/Trans
About your other questions:
No, you can't attack with the Longbow, but as stated above, it's a fanfic. The problem with the outsider will be explained later, if I tell you now there will be major spoilers. I've already said to much...I'm going to have to kill you,
no just kidding.
I'm also pretty sure that you don't ned to max out the possession ability. (It just increases the duration of the possession.)
Sorry if I seemed like a jerk, I tend to be a bit short with everything,
Thanks for your comment, this will probably help clear up confusion with other people that have the same thought process as you.
imageshack.us/a/img33/5764/likethischapter.jpg
Keep going please. Or I will have to post MOAR pics.
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAR NOW!
or at least tomorrow plox!
1487833
Chap3 is being drafted bro(ny)
(That's a status update for the rest of you too...le to lazy to make a blog post)
Alright, before you write more, I'm just going to mention that 'The Heart' is actually the heart of Jessamine Kaldwin, the Empress. Note that in the actual game the heart hesitates whenever it says 'the empress'. Furthermore if you use The Heart on Hiram Burrows (The Spymaster/ Lord Regent) she laments having been foolish enough to trust him.
Also the heart doesn't backfire when it can't discern anything from a situation. For example, when you try to use The Heart on one of Daud's assassins, she'll tell you that she simply can't see their motives or memories.
I'm not sure if you put that in just as a plot element, or creative licence, but I'd just like to bring it to attention.
1492618
You pay attention.
Yes you are right. It doesn't back fire... but remember where he is, the Everfree forest, in Equestria, a land filled with ambient magic. It could have just been magical interference.
Oh boy, they're in for it now. Does Corvo have the ability to summon Pandyssian rats across a dimensional boundary? Or will he just hit them with a Windblast?
FUCK UP THOSE PONIES THEY DESERVE IT ... atleast beat them up and win then apologise cause they kidnapped you and they are dicks please beat them up but dont kill them.
-wargod
The outsider's mark vs magic of a prodigy? Either even or the outsider, no offense to Twi, but being blessed by a god has it's perks, beyond what can be learned from ancient tomes. Also, he's way more experienced in a fight, Twi is... a greenhorn. heheh horn. Let the pony thrashing commence! (or just use time magic to escape)
really? He didn't even pull out the "YOU KNOCKED ME OUT AND TIED ME UP!" card?
That's just a fail
Get them Corvo!
feed them to the rats!
1499759
That card'll come up a lot more, later.
Sorry if I disappointed you
1499816
There's no reason for it to come up later actually :/
Corvo is an assassin basically so he should know what to say and when. He's snuk his way through how many maps? a lot? and you'd think his IQ is high enough to figure out when to say things.
Yea I'm ranting deal.
A few errors in it, and the bit that Corvo didn't mention the obvious "You casted a spell on me and tied me up" bit.
As for magic, I hope its possession, that would be interesting.
1499844
Rants.... BioChemicalWolfGear pls. ranting isn't going to solve everything.
Yes your right, but look at what's happened. His judgement is impaired. Not to mention a purple, talking, unicorn just yelled at him for betraying his country. (Essentially she just made the hit list...) With that being said him getting KO'd isn't on the forefront of his mind.
The fact that he was famed was the whole reason that he went on this rampage of revenge.
If it really bothers you that much I will edit it in.
1499936
Well if you're going to have is judgment impared at least tell us it is and have constant reminders like.
pain in his skull. to give us the impression that he's impared. Also if you want him actually impared he should be missing most of the subject matter of the coversation. it makes him sound delusional but it works for the story.
1499954
Right...point taken you win...i'm stubborn
here is new addition.
“It’s fine that you attacked me, in fact that was expected. But nopony, and I mean nopony hurts my friends!”
Sighing Corvo gave a sarcastic remark. “I’m not a pony. Have you noticed?”
Twilight’s glare intensified. “I don’t care what you are. I’m going to call the princess and she’s going to throw you in...in a dungeon!”
Corvo stared at her. "Didn't you already that? I mean you only knocked me out and dragged me here for no reason."
1500018
Much better you've just regained my fav and improved my day congrats!
don't do it again or I'll report you to the writers association of in-character!
When will possession come in
Come on possession
QUICKLY CORVO USE DARK VISION!!!!!
1502185
No, do a double jump!
1503019
And then upgrade your agility so you can run FASTER!!!
I got an email saying this updated
... what happened?
1522911
Sorry bout the buck up...I'm in the middle of posting the chapter right now. I hit PUBLISH instead of EDIT by mistake... Derp...15 mins chapter will be up
1522911
K it's up
Awesome chapter, Can't wait for more.
That was pretty darn cool.
This Possesion stuff is pretty cool. Can he posses someone without him knowing it? Like hiding in the mind of that pony without alerting them to his presence and without controlling that pony?
1523442
No, when Corvo possess someone, what happens is his mind overwhelms theirs...meaning as soon as the bolt hits they are being possessed...also if he could do that, a lot of the stuff in this chapter wouldn't have happened...(He would have just hidden in Rainbow's mind and left when she was alone.)
All in all the way I'm writing it is an attempt at keeping this interesting. If Corvo can just smack the ponies around without difficulty or planing...the fic is no fun to read.
I like the idea though...I will use a different version of that idea... (You people make writing this so much fun!
)
What about the swarm of rats...... that would fun to see how that turns out.