The First Monster

by Ice Star

Real Evil

Before the desert was a less forgiving place and the old gods were struck with misfortune, there were buffalo elders who said their own elders remembered the dawn of the world when the stories of all tribes were new and had yet to be shared. Some even claim to remember when the first story was told. They knew the story of the first monster when the beast was more than a story. This same story will now be passed to calves like you, so gather around the fire and hear the warnings of your ancestors.

The buffalo duty is to love the world, to love the desert, and the plains as strongly as the land loves us. The first buffalo knew this too. Even when their ritual stampedes were too new to be rituals, they gave honor to the sand, dust, winds, and Alicorns so elusive. There was a magic to the dignity of buffalo that drives the heart of nearly every tribe, even then. This was long before there were many threats to face us peaceful buffalo. In these days, we knew that every buffalo face could be trusted and the hearth of every tribe member was thought to be a welcome place. We know that when the rest of the world returns to life each spring, we must stampede to our most sacred havens, and there we will be rewarded with new life.

Nothing is more sacred to a tribe than calves like you. In all the history to come, only that which is most cruel will seek to destroy the good of a young buffalo calf, who is so innocent and has so many stories to learn. Sickness robs a tribe of lively youth and wise elders alike. Southern jinn menaces those unaware of the world with riddles that lead to no good. Twisters are harshest to those with soft hearts who are still new to such fears. The chaos beasts bring the unimaginable terrors of the young to life.

Only the worst monsters look to the young as prey for their malice, and the most terrible in life are those who are not honest about their nature. They are traitors to nature itself, and it is only for them that curses should be reserved if you must ever say a curse at all. Fang, claw, and forboding magics are all marks of an honest beast. The first monster put even the deception of the shifting bugs to shame. Though this monster did not have the sharp fangs of a meat-eater or the claws like dragons who descend from the skies to snatch and devour us, there was something far more dangerous at hoof. No, this monster was beyond any stories yet to be told by the buffalo and the beast was here to upset the good of the world and any life that it touched on its way to Tartarus.

It began at one of the most sacred traditions of our kind. The cows and bulls from one of the first tribes our ancestors formed had reunited from their separate camps, and their hearts were eager to be warmed. The joining flame was to be stoked.

The shaman, chief, and elders arranged all of the eligible bulls and cows in a circle around the fire, which crackled with all of the scents of medicine and magic. Forming another circle to look on were those already joined in loving unions, remaining elders, and calves like yourselves.

Each hopeful buffalo stepped up to the fire and spoke their dream before tossing in a piece of themselves from their medicine pouch. Next, they excitedly watched as the fire sang with magic and the many colors within danced. The flames jumped and settled on curls of blue as rich as a cloudless summer sky, signifying the heart of the bull who had just stepped up would only want what the flames showed: the shape of a buffalo bull painted in varying hues of blue light.

The previous four bulls had gotten images of various cows at the heart of red flames.

The chief praised the bull, calling for any whose fire matched his to voice their desires, or to reveal themselves later in the ceremony. While this was a tradition that took place every spring, everybuffalo was eager to meet their match this particular spring, and you will know the same eagerness one day.

Would they like to join in courtship? asked the chief. If anybuffalo agreed, then the tribe would have to discuss the match. You too will know what it is like to have the elders discuss your own match. Give it time.

As the ceremony went on, bulls and cows alike were awed at the rainbow hues of the fires that revealed who they loved, and many matches were made. The elders were pleased. The joy and tenderness brought by the joining flame ceremony was a treasure in itself. The fire showed the warmth of the many hearts of the tribe shaping itself in the image of bulls and cows in varying combinations ready to build hearths of their own.

Only a few buffalo had not bared their heart to the flame and their tribe just yet. The shaman motioned joyously to one bull so that he might come up to the flame and do just that. This was no especially young bull. He had spent seasons of age without a mate, as some do even when we grow big and strong. As a calf, he had not shown any youthful fancy towards any other buffalo, and this lead many of our ancestors to quietly believe that his heart held only friendships, as some of those who are dearest to us often do.

Into the flames went his token, and the shaman waited patiently to read the fire's creation. All waited with the same excitement that you waited for this story, only greater than that. Feel the quickness of your heart and imagine something quicker, like the flight of a pegasus. That was the eagerness of the tribe. Together they basked in the warmth and glow. Our ancestors were like us at fire-times: they spent their time singing, dancing, and playing as streaks of color worked through the flames once more.

When the fire suddenly went out, fear seized our ancestors faster than the Arabians can sink in quicksand! No earthly forces could extinguish a joining fire! The ashes in the fire pit were shaking like calves in their parents' shadow and the shaman was bone-pale with worry. The bull by the fire wore his face stone-blank, and suddenly the elders were accusing him of being a wicked changing bug Tartarus-bent on stealing the love of the ceremony and the newly-paired tribe members.

If only that were so, young ones! Then, our kind would have been faced with a far simpler danger and not real evil.

Panic had now swept through our ancestors, who could recall no story from their own ancestors about times when the joining fires had gone out.

Before the bull could take even one step back, the flames shot up from the ashes once more! No longer were they any gentle color from the rainbow of the world. All that was gentle and good was gone from these flames. The pillar of fire was a searing bone-white that stung the eyes of all who saw it. Every last bit of warmth had departed those flames, now it tormented our ancestors gathered around it with a painful cold that they could not understand. Among this awful light was the visible trace of the ashes of what had burned with good and beautiful light, and they were swirling within this new terror lit of its own accord.

In that light so fearsome, there was the sight of a calf, whose firey face was twisted with such striking anguish. Mothers were weeping at the sight of the vision and some of the elders covered their faces with their hooves, knowing no time when the young had ever shown such hurt.

An outcry arose immediately. Every elder was now weeping with fear and brave warriors quickly stood between mothers and calves. Every buffalo now knew that this was no vision of love, but a warning of a hidden nature most vile. Here was a powerful sign that a lie had gone on for far too long. The shaman and chief of our ancestors dragged the offending bull before the terrible light while cows were quick to steer their calves even farther away to safety. The remaining buffalo stood as we all should in the face of such foulness, with horns lowered and hooves stomping.

Our ancestors' cries of anger demanded an answer, and the bull gave the confession of the evil that consumed him, one that he had been harboring for some time while his neighbors had wrongly gone on trusting him. Now, those same neighbors were rightfully protecting their calves and ready to defend their tribe. He said that the fire showed what was true, though the shaman and elders knew it had not failed. No joining fire ever had under even the worst of chiefs. With each horror the bull added to clarify his admission, outrage shook the prairie. The shaman and chief judged true: before them was a monster who just happened to be a bull. He had invaded one of the most sacred rituals of our kind and used up resources meant for all good buffalo for years. Now he was faced only with calls of righteous denouncement for being a curse to any tribe the more he walked among them and a threat to every creature, no matter where they were in the world or who their ancestors were.

United by the need to protect themselves and our home, the ancestors charged and chased the monster far, all their motions mirroring the stampedes we give to other evils. Horns lowered. Hooves fast. Beaten, broken, and begging for what he could never have, the limping beast was forced over a cliffside for his monstrous, unforgivable offense and guilt presented before his entire tribe. His death was mourned by none, not even his mother, who bitterly understood the grave offenses. The tribe vowed to spread the word of such horror to every buffalo under every part of the sky, and from that day on, all our ancestors vowed to be as good as the thunder that stampedes against such monsters that are the deadly drought of injustice in our lives.

Author's Note:

I found this little fucker lying around in a notebook, all completed and ready to be typed up. The story wasn't dated, but I can use stories that are also in the notebook to date it. The first complete story in the notebook was To Their Destruction, which places this as being written around late 2019.

It was originally going to go in the following anthology, but I decided it was good enough to stand on its own:

TCryptic Coda & Obscure Odysseys

• MLP: FiM
• Adventure
• Anthology

Various Iceverse creation myths, fables, and pre-history adventures.

• Violence
• Death
• Crystal Ponies
• Breezies
• Dragons
• Kirins
• Tree of Harmony

Ice Star · 18k words  ·  24  5 · 518 views

Comments

[Novelle Tale]

Only the worst monsters look to the young as prey for their malice, and the most terrible in life are those who are not honest about their nature.

This was an excellent quote, and some really cool & interesting word building. I especially enjoy cool buffalo worldbuilding, so this was a good read. The verbal storytelling tone came across really well, too.

[Ice Star]

11593444
Thank you so much! I was wondering when this would get the first comment. The buffalo have always been super fun to write. I wish more people would write them, 'cause I'm always proud when I get the chance to.

[FanOfMostEverything]

Brilliant world building and a most disquieting monster indeed to reveal. Excellent work and framing device. Thank you for it.

[Ice Star]

11593657
Thank YOU so much for reading this! I was worried that this story might struggle to find an audience.

[Nebbie]

I think there's a big problem here in that the fire doesn't seem consistent between the different bulls; with the first several, it shows who they love, and it's implied that the bulls haven't been with those they love yet, needing this revelation to be paired with them, but then with the last bull, it seems it's showing instead an action* done to one the bull doesn't love. Surely, if it worked the same, the last bull would simply get nothing shown in the fire.
It would make far more sense if the fire was described as being a sort of special-day confession tool to reveal who a bull has been sneaking off with, so that last-minute marriages can be arranged with some forgiveness. It could also be fixed by having the fire show nothing, but then for a suspicious shaman to use a second ritual that reveals someone's dark misdeeds, rather than the fire do it on its own.

*: I'm assuming that it's a past action (and probably one done a lot) and not a desire or future action. I really wouldn't know what to suggest if it's meant to be the latter instead, since then it'd just be utterly horrific, with the Buffalo effectively stoning people because of abnormal mental development, rather than giving them help to be able to resist dangerous urges.

[Ice Star]

11593714
The fire either shows love, or as shown in the story, the opposite. Note that when the fire changed the ashes of the previous fire were noted to be within and it was said to be unlike any fire in living memory. The first fire also contains the contributions of the medicine pouches of the tribe. The second one Carrie’s a reflection of what was in the medicine pouch of the lone bull. The feeling and sensations of the fire reflect who and what he truly is.

There is no past action that was done, as you can tell by the absence of the non-con tag and any specific calf coming forward or being named against him in his trial. The fire literally only reflects desires, so it could show someone who is longed for or just act as a mood ring for sexual orientation. In this case, it didn’t reflect a sexual orientation but a danger in the community.

Remember, the storyteller refers to hiding a nature, not hiding actions.

[Nebbie]

11593721
Oh...I see I assumed wrong...well then, the Buffalo just kill anyone who ends up with dangerous urges, rather than try to help them resist...that's pretty awful of them, and doesn't make a lot of sense in a society with so few members (bad luck, particularly if there was a famine causing developmental problems for a while, and you could end up having to stone a quarter of the adult males in a given period).

[Ice Star]

11593765

well then, the Buffalo just kill anyone who ends up with dangerous urges, rather than try to help them resist...that's pretty awful of them,

The community found and convicted someone who exploited them for resources with deceit (acting as though they were not a pedophile) and executed them for crimes on the basis of evidence. There were no victims in this story nor were there any mere 'urges' either, I'm not going to take kindly to downplaying pedophilia of all things in my comments. That's monstrous stuff, and whaddya know, this is literally a story about that.

and doesn't make a lot of sense in a society with so few members (bad luck, particularly if there was a famine causing developmental problems for a while, and you could end up having to stone a quarter of the adult males in a given period).

It is repeatedly stated in the story that the buffalo have many tribes and that their population is numerous. Over the Barrel showed one camp of buffalo, which could be one tribe, or as stated in the story a fraction of a tribe. Also, societies without pedophiles are better than societies with them. There is also no reason to focus only on the males because pedophilia impacts adults of all genders.

[Ice Star]

Deleting the comments before I can read them be like

[Sigmacipher]

11593813
You say the word pedophile but the story barely if at all mentions pedophilia.

[Nebbie]

11594090
It's a heavy, obvious implication.

11593813
Setting aside the nature of executing people for having the misfortune to end up with a certain mental problem (and pretending that nobody could possibly as a family member of someone like that feel bad about them being gone), are you suggesting that the buffalo should've openly announced to all of them that he was this way at some prior point, so as to not deceive, and this would lead to him getting help instead of being executed?
If so, I must note that it's a bit hard to get people to open up about things that may get them murdered, and that creates intense stress on people.

[Scampy]

Anyone who wants to rape children is bad and dangerous person. It amazes and horrifies me to no end that this is apparently a controversial statement among some people here.

[Nebbie]

11594116
That such a person's potential to act is dangerous is not at issue, it's how to address that danger; the approach spoken of in the story is to stone them to death without any consideration of alternatives (or that their mother might miss them when they're dead etc.).

[Sigmacipher]

11594098
Not really the only possible mention of it seems like it could mean a lot of things. Granted none of them good, but still feels vague though.

[Posh]

Fellas, fellas. This story isn’t about pedophiles.

The titular monster is an insurance salesman.

[Ice Star]

11594090
The fire shows love and its opposite. The opposite of love is shown to be a distraught child. It's referring to pedophilia in all but name.

11594098

Setting aside the nature of executing people for having the misfortune to end up with a certain mental problem

This is not 'a certain mental problem' because this story is about someone who wants to rape children. It's not about anyone who is misunderstood or has a condition like anxiety, autism, personality disorders, or whatever else constitutes a harmless difference. There is a real condition called pOCD where a person with OCD has obsessions centered around fear of becoming a pedophile, and survivors of sexual abuse can have intrusive thoughts about pedophilia, but the story is not about these things. As limited as the method for presentation (a campfire story) is, I at least wanted to exclude those. The bull doesn't have OCD and he isn't a trauma survivor, nor does he have any other mental health condition. He's literally just a pedophile, and the details that are provided about his life state that he was a seemingly normal part of the community. So, please don't use my comments to demonize people with mental health conditions like OCD or intrusive thoughts.

(and pretending that nobody could possibly as a family member of someone like that feel bad about them being gone)

There are indeed those who die without being missed. Also, it's worth noting that the bull had no spouse, no calves, and only parents possibly acknowledged. The fewer there are with any good connections, the more likely they are to go unmourned in the event that they're a bad person (or in this case, buffalo). Also, something to note: feelings do not have sway in whether someone is executed. Someone's mommy missing them won't change the fact that they're a serial rapist. Evidence of innocence is used, and what lands ya there is the conviction of being guilty of the accused crimes based on some sort of evidence. To avoid things like confession, testimony, evidence, or any measure of justice wasn't done in the story.

are you suggesting that the buffalo should've openly announced to all of them that he was this way at some prior point, so as to not deceive, and this would lead to him getting help instead of being executed?

Do you notice where it says in the story that he's been abusing the trust of others and using the community resources by pretending he's something he's not? He should have announced it in the sense of turning himself in so that others know that a) he wasn't trustworthy b) he wasn't worth the resources of society c) he should not be in society in the first place. The buffalo clearly have a very communal, multi-generation society that thrives on concepts like charity. If you want to rape children, all of those are wrong to offer to you. Voluntary association is also important to consider. You deserve to know if your neighbor is dangerous... or if your neighbor arguably has no right to the community at all.

Native American communities were heavily decentralized, and the tribes of the Great Plains (where I derive most of my inspiration for the buffalo) were especially so. Common forms of serious punishment in those communities included exile, though that always runs the risk of eventually finding another community to trick. Heavily communitarian lifestyles mean that being outcasted from the community is generally a death sentence. That would have been the other option if he had turned himself in instead of tricking others for years.

If so, I must note that it's a bit hard to get people to open up about things that may get them murdered, and that creates intense stress on people.

The feelings of pedophiles don't matter bro.
11594116
The best comment. I sure love getting pedophile apologia in my comments.
11594129
The fire confirms he wants to rape kids. He admits to the whole tribe he wants to rape kids and then some.
11594156
True that.

[Sigmacipher]

11594511
It could still mean a lot of things, physical abuse, the child parents were murdered, the child's mother was raped right before it's eyes, and yes pedophilia. Then again perhaps that's not really the point of the story is it?

[Ice Star]

11594595
It literally only can mean one thing, and I've already stated what that is. The image isn't a ghost. The images that appear in the fire reflect attraction.

[Nebbie]

11594511
None of what I was trying to say is meant to demonize anyone having a mental health problem. Quite the opposite, I must point out the logic of societal danger alone to dictate treatment of mentally ill people has historically been used to do horrible, horrible things to them.
Note the buffalo in question seems to not just have Pedophilic Disorder by the DSM-5's definitions, but also Antisocial Personality Disorder (a disorder characterized by no regret for actions, whether hurting others or deceiving them) and Sadistic Personality DisorderSexual Sadism Disorder (correction on the name, and it's a disorder where one enjoys the suffering of others); the latter two without the first can create still a very dangerous individual, but who would want to hurt adults instead of children, and can still, with management of their situation, engage just fine in society and contribute to the generational passing-on of traditions.

I doubt this will really go anywhere as far as agreement, but I will note that a while back, a video on the subject of this was shown to me that greatly affected how I view this stuff. It's Dr. James Cantor talking about his research into the behavior and neuroscience behind pedophilia...I must note that it seems like in more recent years he's gone down a bad political path, the usual stuff of a scientist stepping outside their field and becoming harmful, but at least the findings involved with the developmental nature of things are significant...basically, there are extreme signs of developmental oddities, similar in some ways to what's seen in autism and schizophrenia.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JB6zwvBtDK8
And those findings don't seem to simply be a fluke, as later studies show similar abnormalities in the brain (on pedophiles and rapists):
http://www.antoniocasella.eu/dnlaw/poeppl_2013.pdf
https://bmcneurosci.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12868-016-0278-3

[Sigmacipher]

11594609
Again that was what the spell was showing, however the way the story was written, seemed to suggest a massive change in nature of the spell and there were a lot of other things that particular buffalo could have been attracted to that could have been represented by that image, before you say anything I think you have written stories with individuals getting off on other particularly dark subject matter other than pedo yes? Than you do accept the fact that the image you have painted doesn't necessarily explicitly imply pedo, nice story though, the actual semi-vagueness actually helps in this regard so there's no reason to feel ashamed.

[Ice Star]

11594636

there were a lot of other things that particular buffalo could have been attracted to that could have been represented by that image

It was literally a child. I wasn't ambiguous about that.

I think you have written stories with individuals getting off on other particularly dark subject matter other than pedo yes?

Only one where it was stated explicitly or relevant to the story, and it's stated outright in the particular story (Stay Golden) that the character is a sexual sadist that cannot be trusted in society.
11594613

None of what I was trying to say is meant to demonize anyone having a mental health problem.

You do in your comment.

Quite the opposite, I must point out the logic of societal danger alone to dictate treatment of mentally ill people has historically been used to do horrible, horrible things to them.

While this statement is true, this isn't a story about mental illness. There are no characters that are even hinted to have a mental health condition in the story.

not just have pedophilia, but also Antisocial Personality Disorder and Sadistic Personality Disorder

This is not correct for a variety of reasons.

• First of all, Sadistic Personality Disorder does not appear in any current versions of the DSM. It is not diagnosed or treated as a personality disorder in any present setting in any country I am aware of. It effectively exists as a hypothetical disorder or semi-defunct one. I'm familiar with it because I've actually written a character in other stories who is meant to evoke this condition. While wanting to rape children is a sadistic thing, it also isn't enough to warrant a full personality disorder diagnosis. That grossly misunderstands PDs. People who consistently want to rape children are, by definition, pedophiles.
• The bull in question doesn't display any traits that would warrant a diagnosis of ASPD nor does every pedophile who hides themselves in society count as having it. People can be narcissistic and antisocial without having PDs, and though hiding something obviously dangerous is a bad thing (especially so in this context) it doesn't indicate an elevated level of PD diagnoses. What it would indicate are general Dark Triad traits.
• What you say about "the latter two without the first can create still a very dangerous individual" is a mischaracterization. People who develop PDs get them because of a mix of genetics and environmental conditions. Horrible people have to treat them horribly. They're people more likely to be endangered than society than a danger to it, unlike pedophiles who are in no way, shape, or form comparable to people with PDs. ASPD in particular is receiving loads more research lately and it's been shown that people with it are more likely to be abused, neglected, and mistreated. Here are some examples of the recent development in research of ASPD comorbid with BPD. None of these show anything comparable to someone who wants to rape children.
• You conflate evil behavior with psychological conditions or disturbances. Most studies on people who do evil things (like supporting hate crimes) find that many of these people do not have mental health conditions. Here is one such example. Being a pedophile begins and ends at describing someone who wants to rape children or does do so. It doesn't entail PDs or similar disorders because being a pedophile isn't some poor little pitiable state, it is the farthest thing from that.

but who would want to hurt adults instead of children

None of their actual criteria or proposed criteria offer a limit in age group of who the behavior is demonstrated around or towards.

can still, with management of their situation, engage just fine in society and contribute to the generational passing-on of traditions.

A major reason is that the people who have these conditions =/= wanting to rape children. Refer back to my comment about how there are some conditions that manifest intrusive thoughts that could be mistaken for (but are not) pedophilia. Someone with a PD isn't an inherently dangerous person. Someone who wants to rape children is.

I doubt this will really go anywhere further

You are acting morally offended about a story where something that is bad is shown as bad and the character who is bad gets their comeuppance. There isn't any moral ambiguity to that. Treating demographics of people who are wholly terrible to others and actively harm society in the comments of my stories and continuing to do so when this is pointed out by other people is one of the few ways to earn a block from me other than maybe just being genuinely perverted or an antagonistic presence on the site. This honestly could fit the latter, since I'd put people who are actively hostile, encouraging discrimination, supporting violent/totalitarian mistreatment, and other equally shitty conduct that may not strictly be against site rules there. Though, inviting sympathy to the unsympathetic arguably is hostile and discriminatory to wider society, especially when you pick pedophiles as your category of choice. Jesus Fuckin' Christ, the state of the MLP fanfic scene.

[Kikio3000]

To the character in the info for this story, the one that said: "You (they) can't wait for tonight's story", I say: was it worth it?!

Awesome and adorable cover art! Who made it?

Dang, this was interesting and well-written, and includes believable lore from Buffalos and other species such as Saddle Arabians - great work!

So...was the story a message that shows that evil can be in one's self? Was the evil was a nigh-adult calf who had anger and hate festering inside his heart, enough for it to block the ungulate from getting a wife and causing the dark emotions to become a physical force that destroyed every cattle's joy and braveness since the magical force could physically be felt and it put out the holy fire - though he had also destroyed resources (clarity please); and if they had not destroyed the bull, he would have taken everyone else down into black darkness? Oof, what a story!

[Ice Star]

11597322

Awesome and adorable cover art! Who made it?

The artist is called "SourCherry" and I know they can be found on derpibooru under the tag "artist:sourcherry" but I don't know where else you can find them.

Dang, this was interesting and well-written, and includes believable lore from Buffalos and other species such as Saddle Arabians - great work!

Thank you!

So...was the story a message that shows that evil can be in one's self? Was the evil was a nigh-adult calf who had anger and hate festering inside his heart, enough for it to block the ungulate from getting a wife and causing the dark emotions to become a physical force that destroyed every cattle's joy and braveness since the magical force could physically be felt and it put out the holy fire - though he had also destroyed resources (clarity please); and if they had not destroyed the bull, he would have taken everyone else down into black darkness? Oof, what a story!

The story is a message about how pedophiles are bad for society. The clarity for the bit about destroying resources is that because he never showed his true nature, he was deceiving others into thinking he was still a good buffalo by living normally.