Vesperal Breeze is an odd stock: a pegasus skilled in dream magic. She's recently found patronage in House Heart (one of Canterlot's oldest noble families) on the condition she helps solve a supernatural murder.
Oh, and there's also a few rowdy heirs to the family whom Vesperal has to help look after. But mostly she's here for the murder-solving thing.
A gift to my good friend Jaded Hearts, starring his OC in a decidedly NOT CANON side story. For the true adventures of Vesperal Breeze, check out her prologue story Available At The Library and her first proper tangle with a nightmare monster in Under The Influence.
Chapters (1)
Goddamn. Out for a few days and no likes? That can't be right. OCs are a tough sell I spose.
This is not what I expected Cinder to sound like.
While I'm no stranger to psychic animals with alternate selves, we are jumping into this awfully fast. I think this might scare off a few people who read this and assume they need to consume five other stories first.
Chamomile. Your author appeal.
I am not the type to faint, when things are odd or things are quaint, but seeing things you know that ain't, can certainly give you an awful fright! What a sight! Chase 'em away, chase 'em away! I'm afraid I need your aid! Pink elephants on parade!
This is less of a story and more of a scene. A good scene, in a story I'd very much like to read, but one I doubt I'll ever be able to. The cherry on top is the dream sequence, blending a few of your personal tastes for alliteration and eldritch descriptions into a very Earthbound-esque scene of trading limbs for forbidden knowledge. In both stories, the dismemberment doesn't stick, but seeing why at the end with her split personality at least tells me it meant something in the context of this non-existent story.
Dream sequences are a dime a dozen. 'It was all just a dream, nobody got hurt' is cheap. 'It was all just a dream, nobody got hurt, but its irreparably affected the characters psyche' is better.
Fuck, I havent finished reading your Pinkamena story.
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No likes? I'll have you know this fic has a whopping 8 upward thumbs and 0 downward ones. My only regret is that such proud info is not publicly viewable.
Either way, the only person this story needed to please was the owner of the featured OC. On that level, it succeeded. A happy repeat of Hot And Cold In The Capital City, the other mostly ignored fic I made that takes place in the Long Dead Gods 'verse.
I'm also well aware that Vesperal Breeze has a lot of backstory and baggage to just lob at an un-initiated reader. Her publicly published stories have only sent her on two dreamscape adventures so far, and those events haven't even gotten to Crossbreeze's creation yet. She'll be in the next, yet-to-be-published installment, though. The promotional artwork is already locked and loaded.
Same goes for Cinderheart. She's also still coming down the pipe, so as a placeholder personality I made her into one of those late 90s kewl kidz.
In short, I'm not broken up about this story's ostensible flop. It was, very simply, a fun experiment gifted to a buddy to encourage him to write more. Plus, there are more wholly realized stories that depict Vesperal Breeze and split-personality protagonists, respectively. Just depends on whether you're browsing Jaded Hearts's backlog or mine.
No rush getting to Her Bitter Half, bee tee dubbs. If you're still on the mend from covid, that obviously takes precedence over reading about Pinkie's grumpy Fugue State. I also need to cach up on YOUR backlog too. Thankfully, my Fimfiction free time has recently opened back up.
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Oh, the Diamond Dog, most unappreciated of races! "What a daring dream, to combine the finest qualities of humanity with the elegance and nobility of the animal kingdom!" I'm happy you gave a story about one such a glowing review.
I understand a story only meant to appeal to one. I feel the same way about my old Creepypasta romp: when you play in someone else's sandbox, you don't often think about the drivers on the road overlooking you. You've made one person happy, which is all you need to do. Kudos, friendo.
And christ, looking back at the reddit comment I left while plagued by COVID, I was a bit of an asshole to you there, huh? I'm sorry, man.
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Nah, u good. I too have weathered week-long head colds that made me pretty snippy after the first few days.
Speaking of snipp(ets), I gotta get to work gathering Picture Prompts for tomorrow. It will soon be another glorious Thursday of creativity.
So when I read Hot and Cold in the Capital City, there was something noticeably different in your depiction of Sandstone and Sapphire versus Cinderheart's, but I didn't really pay it much attention. Or, well, not as much attention as reading your depiction (or rather, your prose) of Vesperal versus Cinder's, because it's astonishingly different, very down-to-earth comapred to Cinder's floaty stream-of-consciousness style. But the consequence is that this feels strangely much more innocent, halfway reminiscent of the fact that this is still based on My Little Pony in that not even eldritch beings or companions are safe from the magic of friendship, viz-a-vis Crossbreeze helping out Vesperal as well as Cinderheart's light-hearted talk about TBH and what not.
In short, like Hot and Cold, this is a nice reprieve from Cinder's rather heavy stories. But while this isn't canon, it would also make Cinder's next installment hurt more, now that there's another serious tonal contrasting fic out there. On the side, it does pain me a bit that there's not that many stories out there for Cinderheart's universe, given the little that's already available in this digital library...
Anyway, this was good! Thanks for it.