Rainbow Dash, having neglected her Weathermare duties for too long, was forced to give Sweet Apple Acres it’s scheduled rain for the day.
After a freak accident involving a defective cloud, she finds herself among the halls of the dreaded Rainbow Factory, told to get back to work by weird cultists and finds that, for some unknown reason, Scootaloo is here as well.
After thwarting the Prisma gathering process, Rainbow Dash has to contend with the Pegasi complicit in the murder of innocent foals, fight her way out of the factory, and put an end to the Pegasus Device once and for all.
Chapters (4)
aaahhh
Different universe for Rainbow Factory
Rainbow Factory gives me questions
Daww! The affection Rainbow Dash has for Scootaloo is palpable here. I love it!
Go Rainbow Dash! Be that awesome hero character you were concived as!
Cannon Rainbow vs Grimdark knock off. Who will win and who will fry?
Indeed, it's a sweet moment.
I'll be tracking this.
Definitely looking forward to more of this. Rainbow Dash facing the horros of the Rainbow Factory will be quite interesting to see.
holy shit, this was an interesting chapter
Interesting and scootaloo being adressed about flying is a nice touch.
Just to be clear, cloud are somewhat semi mechanic?
Works for me with the names. Eager to see the next chapter. And broken rips, hope you have planned a way to heal it
It also kinda reminds me of a bad dream i had once
And raises a question i dread
Honestly that may not even be necessary.
The only reason To Where And Back Again works is because no one made a effort to deal with the Changeling threat.
I imagine that a world where Pegasus routinely kill their own would be a lot less hesitant about taking preventive measures.
One good preliminary strike, and goodbye mass Changeling metamorphosis event.
Rainbow Dash versus Rainbow Factory Dash is given me serious Injustice vibes: Normal Superman v.s. Regime Superman. After all, Regime Superman killed a child too.
11357081
I imagine they would be, as it seems they make the clouds. The show was never very clear.
11357089
I was thinking that, since Rainbow stopped it almost immediately, the ribs are more fractured then broken. Not great, but not nearly as bad as broken ribs.
She’ll definitely need medical attention.
Well, now I’m curious.
11357257
There’s no evidence in the Ranbow Factory proper that the rest of Equestria is so cruel, or even that the vast majority of Pegasi know or would support the Rainbow Factory. The exile of course seems a little weird, but could be chalked up to Pegasus culture that Celestia couldn’t wrest from them without causing a lot of problems.
In this story at least everything is exactly how it is in the canon show except Rainbow Factory Dash has a strained relationship with her parents and obviously is in charge of the factory.
Having Twilight not be a princess also complicates Rainbows journey as she doesn’t have the authority to command soldiers.
11357357
Hey, you too? I was thinking the exact thing while writing this.
11357430
IN that case, you got this covered with Nurse Redheart/any canon medical pony, or would you require an OC?
The clouds, okay, I just wondered how they can be defective if they are not mechanic.
Well, I got an OC whp's an elite ryal guard, and has 2 friends, one of them a...unique pegasus, with their job dealing with higher threats like monsters, and demons, etc. I dreamed once they discovered the rainbow factory and wondered how they never noticed this. Turned out, it was the pegasus who secretly worked with the factory, as to why the elite guards never found out.
And the dread, my personal Oc is a pegasus crippled due to premature birth, how the factory would handle that...straight killed after born?
11357435
Scoots needs immediate medical attention, especially after what will happen with the shredder, and the Rainbow Factory is implied to be really far away (at the very elast it’d need to be away from civilian populations and curious eyes) so it’s unlikely to be close to Ponyville.
Dash will have to find a nearby town to have Scoots get medical attention, further complicated by the fact that she has no idea who she can trust. So, no Nurse Redheart.
I was thinking of making an OC for the medical practitioner.
Think of them as a defect on a factory line. Most will be fine, but there’ll occasionally be one that the machine screws up and won’t be caught by the workers.
Occasionally the Cloud Maker makes a defective cloud for whatever reason.
That’s a very specific dream with a coherent plot. My dreams are always bonkers and makes me feel like I’m on drugs.
Don’t think they can get away with that. It seems that the flight test itself is what is needed to ship off any disabled Pegasi.
11357446
Well, I might have 2 unicorn OCs with medical backgrounds, if you need help.
Yeah, gave me shivers.
okay, though he can fly, just not as long or good as a normal pegasus
11357432
Wouldn't there also be friction between Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash in the RF verse, since Fluttershy also failed her flying test and would be considered a failure too? Or did Fluttershy get some kind of special exemption such that Rainbow Dash considers her "one of the good ones" or something like that?
11357725
Did Flutters fail her flight test? I don’t remember that in the series.
Or a flight test at all in the series.
We can assume she passed in the RF verse at the very least, or she’d have been reprocessed.
Huh. Looks like tracking this story is a good idea after all
11358024
I couldn’t agree more.
spooky and very dark, I like it
11357766
It was a mentioned thing in the Rainbow Factory sequel Pegasus Device, that upper level employees could give sacrifice themselves in place of a single failure. Fluttershy and Derpy were saved in this method.
Granted if you're just working off of the original, Fluttershy may have just passed.
11358674
Doesn't that defeat the whole purpose of the factory? They want to get rid of foals who can't fly, why would they sacrifice perfectly normal Pegasi? And who would die for Flutters and derpy specifically? What made them stand out from the dozens of other kids killed?
Further, flutters and Derpy can fly effectively despite being meek and having crooked eyes respectively.
And yes, this is set before the sequal.
I wondered if this might be Zephyr Breeze at first, not going to lie.
I mean, if it's good enough for Dominator.
Interesting idea. I'm not sure I understand the in universe reasoning though. Unless Cannon Rainbow Dash is so weak that fighting off little kids and factory workers allowed her to bulk up.
Or maybe she knows what the top brass or the rest of Equestria will do to her if she loses.
So is she maimed or simply injured? There's a difference.
NIcely done, loved the tribute to awoken
11372330
Zephyr has a bluish green coat, not gray. And why would someone like him be working in the factory? Especially if Dash is the director.
What is this referencing?
The way I justify it is that she went to other pursuits after joining the factory, having given up on her dream to instead serve Equestria another way. So instead of training her flight skills as much as our Dash, perhaps she bulked up. I also imagine Rainbiw Factory Dash wouldn’t be as lazy as our dash seeing as how she has a whole factory to run and conspiracy to hide.
11372340
You don't describe his coat orginally, just the fact that he's a pegasus.
Because he has no remarkable special talents, and because no one wants him around, not even his own sister. He's the perfect candidate to make disappear from pony society.
Even if she controls every aspect of the factory, she still has a needs for certain workers, and Zephyr Breeze is perfect, for all the reasons listed above.
Plus the threat of being feed through a blender by your crush tends to change people's outlook.
I can't imagine Zephyr wanting to start something, upon seeing how badly it could go for him if he did.
A blink and you'll miss it moment during the "My Fair Hatey" episode of "Wander Over Yonder".
Makes sense.
Poor Scootaloo.
11372383
Ah ok.
He’s also lazy, kind of clumsy, and even if he does annoy his family, they still love him and would raise a fuss if he disappeared.
Dash is also friends with Fluttershy and might use her influence to make sure he isn’t inducted into the factory to spare her friend the heartache.
Theres also the fact that Flutters isan Element of Harmony who would have some influence and clout due to her position, as well as being friends with a princess and other element bearers. She could raise just enough of a fuss to expose the factory.
Finally Zephyr has no experience with factory work, they’d need somebody more qualified to run the facilities. Though I suppose he could be a janitor or something.
Ah, I never really watched WoY.
She should still be able to walk though, but maybe with a limp.
This is also probably the end for Scoots’ trauma.
11372399
Neither did I, but I recently got back into the series, and it was way better than I remembered.
On the job training exists.
Besides I can't imagine more qualified candidates signing on to make mincemeat out of kids, at a government rate of pay.
Equestria may not be the most industrialized country in the world, but enough work exists to keep you busy, if you have the talent for it.
Being lazy can be something one is conditioned out of. Also he's not clumsy, so much as he deliberately does a terrible job to avoid working.
And there are plenty of signs that indicate that even if they wouldn't be happy with him outright dying, the Shy family has run out of the will to keep track of him.
When Fluttershy is willing to kick you out, you probably shouldn't be looking for a good Samaritan to come wandering by to save you.
They might even consider it a blessing that Rainbow Dash is 'looking after him.'
If Rainbow is willing to kill her number one fan, then giving Zephyr Breeze a job he can't resign from isn't even that cruel by comparison.
I hope so. I really do.
So it's a mirror match, is it? Something tells me Rainbow Factory Rainbow Dash isn't going to go down easily.
Why is this story in the Displaced group General Alduin?
I'd realllyyy love to see this continued, amazing premise and start so far!
11531507
I don’t know man, life’s been dragging me down so I’m in a bit of a hiatus. My writing schedule has the next chapter as the third thing to write, so whenever I get through those
Glad you still remembered after so long, loved it!
But something I noticed
If they are feral, should not that be hoof, instead of foot?
11553781
I’m mostly concerned that a typo got past me and that it’s redundant because of another sentence from earlier. I scrapped that sentence.
11553789
okay, it just surprised me, as you contuined foot throughout it after this
the rainbow factory
I hate this place
The disharmony REEEKS here
11553791
I feel like foots a shorthand for the back hoof, as everyone’s going to understand what I’m referring too. Idk, maybe I’ll change it.
11553804
okay
Glad to see this is updated. Here's to hoping none of Rainbow's friends in this universe are in on the Rainbow Factory scheme.
meanwhile somewhere on youtube
1 2 3 4
"Tell me im not the most valuable member of this team"
-SCP O[DATA REMOVED(search for overlord yourself people!)]
Golly gee gosh this story is ABSOLUTELY FANTABULOUS!! i love it haha