- Member Since 2nd Nov, 2021
- offline last seen Last Thursday
Microsoft_2016
Just your typical American Brony who believes in our Big God Given Rights, defends our freedoms and the Constitution, and leads The American Resistance against the corrupt radical left in Washington.
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Microsoft_2016 · 46k words · 21 4 · 274 views
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Great and interesting start of this story, definitely added to my Tracking list.
Looking forward to see more. :)
Hope to see more
11277290
Thanks man. I appreciate it. I definitely have many plans for this story, so hopefully, things will go well.
11277431
I promise you'll definitely see more. I'll try to update as consistently as I can, but that's when my schedule permits me too. But don't worry. I won't abandon this story. I will make sure I finish this no matter what it takes. That's how much determination I have because I like getting things done regardless of how long it takes. If it is not finished, I'm not happy with that. But I will do everything in my power to fully complete that story and I hope you enjoy the story. The support is much appreciated.
How consistent we talking? Because there's another person who takes 3 months :(
Now I wanted to see what gotta happen next I think it a good story just wish others see that too
11277533
Oh goodness no. I wouldn't wait 3 months. The most I would take to produce a chapter and release one is 2 weeks at maximum. But I usually try to aim for every few days. Believe me. You won't have to worry about me posting that late. You have nothing to worry about. I promise.
11277879
Yeah, I feel ya. Not everyone is going to support this kind of story which is fine. I don't know why, but it's fully within their right to do so. I'm not going to let the dislikes get to me because I'm gonna keep writing no matter what they throw at me. If they want to act that way, then they can do so, but it won't make me stop what I love to do. So, we'll have to see how things move along.
11278148
Mad props
11278148
That the spirit and can't wait to see the backstory of the character
11278240
You'll be able to see some background context in the next chapter. It is all ready to go and I plan to release it tomorrow. So stay tuned for that. I think you'll definitely enjoy it very much and it could be something to get hooked to.
11278536
I will
Who will notice him
11278958
A certain pony that tries to do a gathering anytime she sees someone new that shows up to Ponyville. Hint hint. Wink wink. Nudge nudge. :)
11278965
I see I see
Noice
Update ayo?
11282376
I'm trying to get to it, but life has just been busy so far. You know how that is. I'll get work on it as soon as I can. Just wait a little longer. I promise I'll get it out in the next few days.
11282416
Cap
11286074
It's not cap, it's just taken longer than I would have liked to. Even though I'm out of school, I'm still really busy right now. But I can tell you that the chapter is almost done. No cap whatsoever. I apologize for the delay, but there are certain things out of my control. So, please be understanding and I'll get it out as soon as I can. I promise.
The sonic movie 2 replacement scene of Knuckles vs Sonic 1st round felt a little forced. I get you are doing your own take of it, but you should try and make future recreation scenes actually flow better. For a second I thought I was reading a different story and after thought it was a weird extended gag and even at one point that it wasn't real.
11286521
I see your point and what you're saying makes sense. But at the end of the day, it is just fantasy. It isn't exactly like like that scene in Sonic the Hedgehog 2. There are a lot of similarities, but it is not blue lightning vs. red lightning. It is more or less rainbow trail vs. red lightning. It's just sometimes a bit hard to convey that in word format. There are many secrets on that island and this story includes references to a bunch of different movies that I grow fond of. The whole purpose of this scene is just to show that Caleb or Knuckles as his nickname is more dominant over Rainbow Dash as you could probably figure out.
I understand how it can seem confusing for Caleb to be that strong, but he has supernatural abilities and that includes increased strength. He was just born with that. It's something he got from his grandparents. I would explain that to you right now, but I'll let the story do that later on. Also, sometimes it's hard to get creative and make things flow nicely, so I have to improvise sometimes. But I will try to improve on future chapters. Thanks for the commentary.
11286558
I was mainly referring to the dialogue being similar in ways where it makes no sense. Why would Rainbow tell him he can't have her power. In the original it makes sense since Robotnik was working with Knuckles, but here it makes zero sense, just as the one shining example. Like I said if you are doing your own take it should make logical sense in story.
11286564
Alright. Let me explain. Yes, it does not make sense here in this context. I agree with you 100 percent. I probably need to rewrite it slightly so it makes more sense. As we've seen before, the Mane Six were able to unlock Rainbow power in the Season 4 finale to defeat Tirek. Before that, it was just their natural abilities. Since we know that Rainbow can fly really fast, that is her "power" if you want to call it that. We've all seen those fanfics of Rainbow and Sonic trying to figure out who is faster, so I just replaced the characters around.
As for Rainbow saying why she would refuse to let Knuckles to take her power, it's because she had no idea who this creature was and what his abilities were. For all she knew, he could have the power of Tirek, which he doesn't, but she doesn't know that. So, she'd assume that he would try to steal it from her and use it for himself, but he has own power, so he doesn't need to use that. I hope that makes sense. I think I'll go back and revise it slightly so it makes more sense. I can see how this creates problems and if I fix it around a little bit, I think we shouldn't have any more problems.
11286572
No, not really. It just feels forced to me that you had her said that just to match the scene from the movie more and this just feels like backpedaling to justify it. I doubt you will convince me so if you feel strongly that it makes sense to you since you have the bigger picture in mind, then go ahead and leave it in.
11286581
Alright, tell you what. How about you tell me what could be improved upon in this chapter and I'll go back and add them in? You give me suggestions and I'll put them in there. I know that it seems like none of this makes sense, but I'm seriously trying my best to make this a good story. I guess I must have seriously stretched the term inspiration a little too much.
Something worth mentioning though is that not everything is going to line up at the beginning but by the time you reach the end, all the loose ends should have been tied up. So, if you seriously believe that I could improve on it, I'm willing to do that. I'm not trying to be stubborn or arrogant in any way. So, if you have suggestions, please let me know. I'll be glad to use them. I am always willing to use suggestions given to me at any point. So, if you have any, don't hesitate to ask.
Woah they got serve
11286985
Yeah, they did. Something worth mentioning is that Caleb had watched Sonic the Hedgehog 2 already and the first fight scene between Sonic and Knuckles, he had really enjoyed. So, he wanted to reenact it. That's why the shadow was there. One of his tactics against opponents is to reenact cool battle scenes from movies he has watched in order to display dominance over his enemies. It might seem a little strange, but the tactic is cool nonetheless.
Hot
11287417
Things definitely got a little heated in this latest chapter, but that's part of being a human with supernatural abilities granted from birth. There will definitely be more scenes like this in the future where things get very heated, especially when more of Caleb's past gets uncovered and revealed to the Mane Six.
That royal treatment for you
11290812
Yeah, Knuckles knows how to respect higher authority, but he chooses not to because he is just angry at his life right now and he wants to take it out on anyone that is not currently living in his mansion such as Reginald and Malcolm. He isn't hostile towards either of them because they live there with him, so there's no point in acting extremely rude towards them at every interaction. For everyone else, it just serves as a reminder of what he had to go through over the years and he has tried to bury it for good, so because of that, he acts aggressive towards others. But maybe the hatred will eventually die down for good with a certain alicorn around. :)
Lit
11290939
Thank you. I appreciate any support I can get. People like you is what keeps me going and writing these stories, so thanks for the encouragement. I mean it from the bottom of my heart.
She just said she doesn't know what the ultimate power is and now suddenly she knows?
Dare I ask how could insults kill someone?
What does that mean. After what is done?
Armwrestling isn't all about strength. Proper technique is more important.
Man I feel sorry to anyone who try to armwrestle Knuckles
11293711
Alright, answer to your first question is she still does not know what the ultimate power is. What she said was just a guess. She believes it is an artifact, but she isn't certain.
Answer your second question is insults do not actually physically kill you. That was meant to be a metaphor. That was probably a poor attempt at it, but whatever. It is what it is.
Answer to your third question is what I mean by after it is done is this important task she has ahead of her, trying to become friends with Caleb. Of course, she probably wouldn't complete it anyways because she would realize it was too difficult and give up. But that doesn't really represent Twilight's character and it wouldn't be a good story if that were the case.
Answer to your final statement is Knuckles knows that arm-wrestling is not about strength. He is at master level in several different forms of martial arts, so he would know that pretty well. He would combine his strength with his techniques in order to defeat Applejack at arm-wrestling. Spoiler: It would easily be a one sided match. It's probably the most unfair match that you would ever see, but that's the reality of it. Feel free to ask me more questions if you have any.
11293802
Yeah, it is not pretty if anyone tried to do that. Any form of combat, Knuckles would easily dominate in with no problem at all. Even without the Master Diamond in his possession, it would still be an unfair match and he would soundly defeat Applejack with ease. That could appear in the story at some point just for fun, but I'll have to see where I can put it in the story if I decide to do that. The moral of the story there is don't try to beat Knuckles in anything because he'll do that to you in a matter of seconds.
My issue was the paragraph which shows her perspective in third person lists specifically what it is when she shouldn't know. It would be more fitting if it was changed to either a vague artifact or simply "Ultimate power" Seeing those paragraphs saying what her perspective is list what it is just takes me out of the story which is a problem.
Yeah it failed since I don't even know what insults is even being compared to.
Spike statement makes no sense. If he won't make her quit why would achieving the task make her do so. Why would she give up when she achieve her goal when it means the opposite and if she doesn't it makes his statement a moot point. When someone asks for clarification they mean to make it easier to understand not harder.
What does Knuckles' knowledge on that fact have to do with Applejack and Rainbow's exchange? Nothing so I don't know why you brought it up but cool to know I guess
11293944
Alright, I'll review it to see if it needs to revised a bit so it can make more sense, but I'll have to see what I can do. I figured that was probably a terrible metaphor, so I'll probably have to reword that as well. The entire point of Spike's statement is to show Twilight that Knuckles is a very stubborn individual and it would only be a matter of time before she eventually gave up because of how difficult it is to deal with him. That could use some better wording as well, so I'll try to rework it a bit so it makes more logical sense. The exchange between Applejack and Rainbow is a bit more complicated to answer. Knuckles really doesn't have any sort of knowledge of this exchange, but he could beat Applejack in arm-wrestling if he was challenged to it. I'm sure that's quite obvious and I probably don't need to repeat that. So, I'll go ahead and try to add some revisions in there so it can make more sense if it is required. I apologize if things can get confusing at times.
Hot
To be honest I felt that was a jab from Rainbow at how she beat Applejack that one time at it or a part of her statement at least. I only pointed out the it being more about technique due to Rainbow not knowing so and thinking it's all about strength.
11295377
You would be correct. As we have seen throughout the show, these two are very competitive against one another. So any chance they get to one up each other, they'll do it. In this case, Rainbow is just trying to gloat that it's about brute strength when in reality, it's more about technique. So, the point is Rainbow doesn't seem to understand arm-wrestling as much as she thinks she does. But, that's what happens when you have a massive ego and get very prideful a lot.
I see social progress
11298651
Yeah, the idea I am trying to go for is accommodating but still just as stubborn. In other words, he'll will try to practice proper hospitality to Twilight, but he will still refuse to share anything about the Master Diamond or his dark childhood. However, the truth will eventually be revealed and he will have to make an account for it. So, that will be interesting when that rolls around.
I mean in Pinkie's defense there is no age requirement to be someone's aunt so she still could be Fluttershy's adopted one and their age difference doesn't actually go against it. Despite the social stigma and acceptance that aunts are older.
Twilight: Are you hinting at purposely provoking him?!
Rainbow: No, that didn't come out right.
Surprised and kind of disappointed knuckles didn't drop the I have been here for years and didn't cause anything until you six caused me to bomb like he did with the royal sisters.
11301301
I know there isn't really an age requirement to be someone's aunt, but it's kind of something amongst the fandom where Fluttershy pulls the "I'm still technically a year older than you" card on Pinkie. That was just a reference amongst the fellow community. Also, the only reason why Knuckles did not mention to the Mane Six that he had been living in Equestria for five years is because they didn't ask him where he was from like the Royal Sisters did. Knuckles is the type of guy that will only mention something when asked about it and sometimes, he'll go into an entire story as you are about to see in this new chapter with the story of Rapunzel. It might seem slightly confusing, but that's how his personality is. It's not always something that can easily be solved.
11301821
It's a fandom thing? Could have sworn it was an actual line from an episode, but good to know.
Your statement doesn't really prove your point since the sisters asked where he came from not how long has he been in equestria so he still told and gave additional information. I mean I get it even though you would think if he wants to be left alone he would just drop or say anything that would help his case and a one like that would at least stunned them enough to make them think.
I wouldn't say hate and I couldn't blame her since she was worried about something seriously important. She actually had her priorities straight. It was just more like I am more interested in x instead of y.
The highest possible score in bowling is 300. I get it's a fic but still.
She said that was the first time she got a strike then after their game where they somehow got more points than possible she said she read books and practiced until she got as good as she was, meaning she got strikes before that time. So which is it? Was it her first time and she is just lucky or mysteriously good or she practiced and it wasn't her first time getting it.
11301852
Alright, so Knuckles has a very... interesting personality to say the least. Sometimes, he'll only drop additional information if it helps out his case. I see how Twilight couldn't hate friendship, but she didn't like it very much. However, I only put that there because there will be something revealed later on in the story that will explain why she said that. As for bowling, I wasn't exactly sure what the highest possible score was, but that was good to know. The reason why it was much higher than that was because Knuckles modified the system to go as high as it wants. He pretty much has the power of Discord and can change anything to his liking at any time.
With the final comment, Twilight studied up on the books on how to properly bowl better because before that, she wasn't exactly very good at it, so she tried to figure out how to get better. After reading the techniques, she went to put it into action and it worked. From then on, she's been able to be pretty good at bowling and that's why she was able to keep up with Knuckles. It seems confusing, but that's how it's supposed to work.