- Member Since 27th Sep, 2016
- offline last seen February 14th
Staadnauthursil
I am Swedish, born and raised in the fine city of Göteborg, or Gothenburg in English, I'm male, single, heterosexual, I like to read, write, paint, Tabletop RPGs, playing video games and cooking.
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Your writing has improved a lot since you started your other fic, and it was already good to begin with.
Colour me interested in the story so far.
Edit:
I like the CCC, but their name always makes me laugh too much to take them seriously. I bet the old cultivatiors got beaten to death with rubber chickens.
This story made me finally make a FIMfiction account just to comment, even though I'm not a MLP fan. I was just excited to see a fanfiction relating to monster hunter in form. And just to confirm and not make myself a crazy guy, the character transformed into a humanoid version of the Kirin from monster hunter right? if so, hopefully he does receive the full force of a Kirin, and maybe the Oroshi variant also.
ALL NEW!!
It's a new something! Let's read it and watch the carnage!
awesome writing dude, keep up the good work!!!
(Excitement intensifies)
The most possible song for this chapter, for me that is, felt like it's a nice fit. Nothing theme-related, but the meaning is there.
I haven’t seen anyone use cultivation before on the site. Good luck with this it looks to be a fun story to follow.
I hope we see him meet Celestia and a young Twilight
10855193
Cover art is clearly Oroshi, so...
Are the chapters for this going to be as absurdly long as the ones on your other story? I normally don't like chapters longer than 15-20k in one sitting, but that's my fault.
10855193
Humanoid kirin is something I can get on board with. Can author confirm this, though?
10855415
You're right, this is Oroshi Kirin. Unlike the typical Kirin which uses thunder, Oroshi uses ice, so I'm interested in seeing where this is going.
Oh this is nice. I get a slight Lawbringer vibe and allways enjoy the God Queen of
ManPonykind on her throne.Let's watch the shipping with Sparklebutt commence!
10855080
Thank you for the compliment and your interest. And yes, the CCC is a bit like that. But mostly they are insane fanatics with chicken mutated bodies utilizing forcefully tamed chimera creatures as war beasts. A bit of a combination of Beastmen of Warhammer Fantasy and the cocos of Zelda.
10855202
ALL HERE!
10855227
Hope you will enjoy it.
10855253
Thank you and I will.
10855304
[inspiration intensifies]
10855365
I liked it. Not fitting for the moment but I might use it later.
10855391
I've been watching and reading a lot of xianxia and wuxia lately so I thought to try it out with an anthro mlp world.
10855409
In the future, it might be possible. Not spoiling anything though.
10855600
Eh not really what I was going for but it's still good. And I won't be spoiling any shipping. You crazy readers can work that out yourselves.
10855193
10855415
10855489
As I mentioned in my author's note at the end of the story. I could not find a proper humanoid form of the orochi kirin. I liked the darker colouration. So instead I used another kirin humanoid art to get the base idea of what I wanted. He is young in the body as he does not have a beard. And his serpentine tail shows that his dragon blood is more profound in his kirin heritage. I am combining the kirin of Chinese myth with the MWH kirin's body and horns.
So yes. He is meant to be a young adult anthro orochi kirin with some minor alterations. Author's confirmation of MHW anthro MC given.
Yes this is good I must have more.
So you've already established the MC is a young, anthro Oroshi Kirin. But will he have ice powers, or the regular Kirin's lightning powers? The lightning would make more sense given his sect.
10855664
Glad you like it.
10855783
Not going to spoil that.
MESSAGE FOR MY READERS: In my blog I will be posting a poll. Check it out.
this is the first cultivator story I have seen on FIM
Depending on what facial structure you're okay with, creative cropping can pull it off.
If u need help with cultivitor genre message me i have read thousands of mtl novels
I'm gonna guess that hitting the bell 16 times is signal for the biggest issue possible.
yes, my favorites author still alive
but fuck, it's cultivator...
hurt my head indeed
10855827
This is great!
Apparently the eastern equivalent for "someone is talking about you", instead of a sneeze, is a itchy ear.
Though this could probably just be only Korea
Auto correct error.
The word you want here is 'much.'
Don't worry guys this one doesn't seem like a chinese cultivator story where they go:
"Hoh hoh I eat pill like addict and get stronger. I use money am rich, buy pill to make inner energy stronger, hmm become god."
10857125
Also does not seem a type of "You tarnished my honor, for you did not bow in my presence and ask for mercy. Thus I will smite you and your 10 closest kin".
10857171
Exactly and I feel like that's the only type of story the chinese can make in terms of fiction.
All I can see in my mind’s eye is a crowd of farmponies oohing and aahing over this:
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/8c/Farmall_C_cultivator.jpg
Which, of course, suddenly appeared somewhere in Equestria with no explanation.
10858868
Why are you writing all this?
Dude, you captured wuxia, in this. Streamlining the "overexplain bait" was appreciated.
I so thought you were going to mention that the sacred fruit could be used to extend you lifespan 9 times and stealing one would be, likewise, punished by killing 9 generations of your kin, or something like that.
Spread the Dao, muh dude!
10858868
Love your enthusiasm, but author already established that every story has it's own system for how qi works. I love that I'm not the only one here that loves wuxia, but adding details that aren't established in the story might confuse and scare away potential newcomers to the genre.
Open the sect gates and let the new blood flow in. No scaring the initiates until after they swallow the slave medicine (because that blood comment screams dark sect).
(Slams their palm on a table) THIS SHIT IS AWESOME!!! GIVE ME ANOTHER!!! (joyful screaming intensifies intensifies)
so he arrives only 2 years into twilight position as tia's student? that's quite a bit of time for him to train
Very interesting beginning. I will eagerly await more chapters. I admit I am not that big of a fan of multiple worlds stories, but I will definitely give this one a chance.
10855923
I did not know this but I think it is a good opportunity for people to get a feel for it and see what they think. Let's see how I do in inspiring myself and others with this work.
10855984
Eh. I could literally not find any art of an anthro form of the orochi kirin that weren't either human with monster features, nsfw, not male, or too strangely proportional.
10856157
Thank you for the aid, I am willing to accept suggestions.
10856306
Indeed.
10856352
Sorry. This is medicine for my inspiration and medicine sometimes hurts.
10856544
Thank you.
10856587
Only heard of the sneeze myself or if someone's ears are burning. Could be various versions.
10856727
I think I corrected it, unless auto correct failed me once more. Thank you for pointing it out.
10857125
I can like that kind of story from time to time but I am not interested in making one of those.
10857171
Heh. yeah those can be a bit annoying. But fun if made correctly.
10857219
Not really but they do take up a lot of attention.
10858782
10858850
10858868
10859496
10859545
10859874
10863575
Uuuum... Okay. Feeling a bit overwhelmed at the moment. A lot of interesting ideas and suggestions. But... maybe spell check it before posting and not write so much at once? I do accept PMs or messages on my blog posts or profile page. No need to clutter the comment section.
10859058
It is rather impressive, what shadesplit is doing I mean. Though a bit overwhelming.
10859094
Yeah a lot of basic explaining in the beginning. to get the information flowing. But I do not want too many explanations so I intend to just let people make their own assumptions on some of the things I write.
10859100
Thank you. yes, the Qi system in this story has its own rules. And will not be even one-tenth as advanced as some of the stuff I've read in stories or manwha. So I will try to make a less over-the-top Qi system and just try to make it function as it should without the extra hassle. And yeah the blood sect is a group of maniacs.
10860574
The next chapter is up. Enjoy.
10863578
The multiple world aspect will not get involved until later. Thank you for reading.
10862838
Indeed. He is just recently accepted as an Inner Disciple and has had his Qi cultivation forcefully advanced to the Fifth Rank of the Low tier, he needs to learn control and focus. Which will become apparent when he gets into a fight.
10864978
10856455
Thank for the music, though not sure if they fit.
I was kind of expecting a Kyoketsu Shoge or a chokuto type sword
10868892
10868892
I have questions for you as for the teacher and student relationship
This has been a most engaging read, a very interesting take on the isekai/crossover that has me looking into the source material.
I have to ask though, why the announcements for 'point of view' changes? I've seen so many fanfic writers do this and it never becomes any less jarring.
So long as the scene is well initiated and described (which both of the key instances were in this chapter), a page break is all that your readers will need to know that the focus has shifted. Your writing is more then good enough to achieve a smooth scene transition without the need for a cue card :)
Also, while first person perspective can seem much more intimate and allows for a smoother internal monologue, your wrighting style seems to favour the intricate scene wide descriptions of the third person. I've noticed that the exposition flowed much more naturally when you felt able to describe the surrounding events without the limitation of a single person's line of sight. This is illustrated by simply comparing the earlier 'spiritual conversation' scene with the later 'village walk through'. The latter felt more alive and conveyed far more between the characters and environment then simply what was said or thought.
Might be worthwhile sticking to the third person for a full chapter just to feel things out.
Brilliant read thus far and I look forward to your next entry.
This is fantastic. Can't wait for more
I require more to sustain my life force.
10869112
Cultivation stories are normally chinese oriented, and while the chakram originally came from India is it close enough for the weapon to have reached China. Thus I added it to the storyline.
Plus I just think they look awesome.
10869123
Nice song. It might have a place in a future story.
10869127
Sure ask away.
10869182
I am more used to writing in 3rd person. This story is not for me to be comfortable, it is for me to work out new writing styles as well. It is an experiment in the working. I had a feeling that I need to work on my 1st point of view because I do not use it often.
What I might do in the future is split up chapters into 3rd person and 1st person chapters to clearly mark which chapter is which point of view. That might be a worthy endeavor for me to work on in the future. Though the only person who will have the 1st point of view will be Guo Long.
Thanks for the criticism and suggestions. And I am glad you are enjoying the story.
10869374
Thank you, hopefully, I will have the next chapter up soon. But do not except too much from me.
10869526
I will try to get you some chapter injection in the short future, call me if it becomes an emergency.
10869606
I will not deny that
Sir/Ma'am, you and your creative team, keep it coming please, I think I am falling in love more for this story.... will the MC have an eventual love interest tho? Is it Luna? Luna is love Yes~ or would the MC's lover is an all new beautiful and sexy female OC that hopefully doesn't screams Mary Sue.
And seriously when I first read this story and now it's second chapter I swear I feel like inhaling a damn fine powdered drug through my nostrils. And so I say unto you and your team... keep it coming please!!! Heh heh heh.
-signed by my still drunk self
With love, for the author and their team
I NEED MORE
Hahahahaha!!!!
E
D
C
B
A
S
SS
SSS
SSS+
Man, real life gacha
m-my head,
too much explanation..
i
i will laying around in the corner..
its just i love and hate this type of story sometimes
love because its very detailed
hate because it's too much information..
regardless from it, i still love it more than hate it..
10869606
The name of the song is call I have questions for you