• Member Since 27th Sep, 2016
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I am Swedish, born and raised in the fine city of Göteborg, or Gothenburg in English, I'm male, single, heterosexual, I like to read, write, paint, Tabletop RPGs, playing video games and cooking.

Comments ( 108 )

Your writing has improved a lot since you started your other fic, and it was already good to begin with.

Colour me interested in the story so far.

I like the CCC, but their name always makes me laugh too much to take them seriously. I bet the old cultivatiors got beaten to death with rubber chickens.

This story made me finally make a FIMfiction account just to comment, even though I'm not a MLP fan. I was just excited to see a fanfiction relating to monster hunter in form. And just to confirm and not make myself a crazy guy, the character transformed into a humanoid version of the Kirin from monster hunter right? if so, hopefully he does receive the full force of a Kirin, and maybe the Oroshi variant also.

It's a new something! Let's read it and watch the carnage!

awesome writing dude, keep up the good work!!!

(Excitement intensifies)

The most possible song for this chapter, for me that is, felt like it's a nice fit. Nothing theme-related, but the meaning is there.

I haven’t seen anyone use cultivation before on the site. Good luck with this it looks to be a fun story to follow.

I hope we see him meet Celestia and a young Twilight

Are the chapters for this going to be as absurdly long as the ones on your other story? I normally don't like chapters longer than 15-20k in one sitting, but that's my fault.

Humanoid kirin is something I can get on board with. Can author confirm this, though?

You're right, this is Oroshi Kirin. Unlike the typical Kirin which uses thunder, Oroshi uses ice, so I'm interested in seeing where this is going.

Oh this is nice. I get a slight Lawbringer vibe and allways enjoy the God Queen of ManPonykind on her throne.

Let's watch the shipping with Sparklebutt commence!

Thank you for the compliment and your interest. And yes, the CCC is a bit like that. But mostly they are insane fanatics with chicken mutated bodies utilizing forcefully tamed chimera creatures as war beasts. A bit of a combination of Beastmen of Warhammer Fantasy and the cocos of Zelda.


Hope you will enjoy it.

Thank you and I will.

[inspiration intensifies]

I liked it. Not fitting for the moment but I might use it later.

I've been watching and reading a lot of xianxia and wuxia lately so I thought to try it out with an anthro mlp world.

In the future, it might be possible. Not spoiling anything though.

Eh not really what I was going for but it's still good. And I won't be spoiling any shipping. You crazy readers can work that out yourselves.

As I mentioned in my author's note at the end of the story. I could not find a proper humanoid form of the orochi kirin. I liked the darker colouration. So instead I used another kirin humanoid art to get the base idea of what I wanted. He is young in the body as he does not have a beard. And his serpentine tail shows that his dragon blood is more profound in his kirin heritage. I am combining the kirin of Chinese myth with the MWH kirin's body and horns.
So yes. He is meant to be a young adult anthro orochi kirin with some minor alterations. Author's confirmation of MHW anthro MC given.

Yes this is good I must have more.

So you've already established the MC is a young, anthro Oroshi Kirin. But will he have ice powers, or the regular Kirin's lightning powers? The lightning would make more sense given his sect.

Glad you like it.

Not going to spoil that.

MESSAGE FOR MY READERS: In my blog I will be posting a poll. Check it out.

this is the first cultivator story I have seen on FIM

I could not find a proper humanoid form of the orochi kirin

Depending on what facial structure you're okay with, creative cropping can pull it off.

If u need help with cultivitor genre message me i have read thousands of mtl novels

I'm gonna guess that hitting the bell 16 times is signal for the biggest issue possible.

yes, my favorites author still alive

but fuck, it's cultivator...
hurt my head indeed

Apparently the eastern equivalent for "someone is talking about you", instead of a sneeze, is a itchy ear.

Though this could probably just be only Korea

At the second week had one-third of the nation been put to the torch, axe, dagger, needle, and mismanaging hands of the invaders. An armada of ships covering mush of the sky above the isolated nation, chanting out the name of their ruler. The Storm King.

Auto correct error.
The word you want here is 'much.'

Don't worry guys this one doesn't seem like a chinese cultivator story where they go:

"Hoh hoh I eat pill like addict and get stronger. I use money am rich, buy pill to make inner energy stronger, hmm become god."

Also does not seem a type of "You tarnished my honor, for you did not bow in my presence and ask for mercy. Thus I will smite you and your 10 closest kin".

Exactly and I feel like that's the only type of story the chinese can make in terms of fiction.

All I can see in my mind’s eye is a crowd of farmponies oohing and aahing over this:
Which, of course, suddenly appeared somewhere in Equestria with no explanation.

Clearing my throat I speak up the most obvious things I could see. The size and amount of the ribs, the spine's length, and the skulls and their "pointy bits". "Because humans do not have so many ribs, nor of that size, the spine is far too long, the skulls look more like a deer, horse or possibly some kind of reptile. And we definitely do not have horns on our foreheads. They are obviously the bones of some kind of animal or spirit beast."


Theory of Cultivation : Partly complete because the research matherial was ...Too heavy and under pressure ruined by bad memories , again .

Anyway .

Strong Body , Strong soul or whatever energy magic mubo jumbo .
Probably to get used to get the energy and atracting it or the certain familiarity .



YING AND YANG in balance proportions .
And of course the Rest of the stuff is like the tree pony tribes doing their stuff . External and internal .

The way the body is enchanted and reinforced from inner energy additionally reinforcing the body capabilities .

The other is internal like the magic casting .

Both make the Third .

I don't know in which order

But one is the quantity the other is quality , the purity of mana , and of course energy Control to prevent exess energy wasting.

That is what I could answer to your question Twily .

If you want more stuff to know.
there is density , Durability , structure , motion ,Space , Chemistry , Everything is energy , the ever Dreaming Deity of all creation Azeroth . That is the Highest Grade I know and I said the basics . Understanding the basic should gwt the harder and getting more sense in the madness. The micro world I heard it is very interesting and wacky known is heavy , Light ,and Non known. , Possible strange apearences and things but that is what I could offer in the very end .

Basicly research energy and never stop . Twilight Sparkle YOU ARE THE THING UNITING ALL THINGS , NOT JUST FRIENDSHIP , SO Straying away gave me bitterness despite the lessons , but along with the lessons that whatever science you do , you not stop , Even when you got wings if got them yet . YOU WANT KNOLIDGE , GET ALL KNOLIDGE YOU COULD GET.

That is if you Ask The person who uses strange references mostly exclusive (Wierd costumes ,Changings)

And those affected trained properly who understands more in the creatures of Dark energy Roaming could bring the fearsome potential .

Unexpected visitors looking outherwordly are more interesting in the Possible hot spot of dimention leakeges
Some of those making concern and trying to contain and convert those inviders , or is the divine to act as Antybodies to those inviders .


So researching all that stuff could get better grasp . And getting further in Understanding

Unfortunately Some if the suff is pretty Heavy and Vetoed out because even those parts are pretty dangerous .

From what I know Spirit , and that branch ,
Void (Dimensions,Time , Dark,Space)

Dark Energy as pretty trick
Corruption (really dangerous)
Spirit ,Death (flesh ,Pain ,Curse)

Nature elements , sub Elements ,Plazma ,Paper , Cristal ,Lava .

Nature ,Life ,Spirits .
Dark spirit can have Light Dark Light , As the spirit and meaning what can do .

Call it where is a lot

Elements ,

Dude, you captured wuxia, in this. Streamlining the "overexplain bait" was appreciated.

I so thought you were going to mention that the sacred fruit could be used to extend you lifespan 9 times and stealing one would be, likewise, punished by killing 9 generations of your kin, or something like that.:rainbowlaugh:

Spread the Dao, muh dude!

Love your enthusiasm, but author already established that every story has it's own system for how qi works. I love that I'm not the only one here that loves wuxia, but adding details that aren't established in the story might confuse and scare away potential newcomers to the genre.

Open the sect gates and let the new blood flow in. No scaring the initiates until after they swallow the slave medicine (because that blood comment screams dark sect).:rainbowlaugh:

Twilight Sparkle is THE FRIKEN ELEMENT OF MAGIC ,I wanted her more advanced.


In the original Time line of her's she neglected her research and science for more friendship lessons and stuff and probably even more as Alicorn . But as researcher she should not go too extreme in her behaviour like other too extreme counterparts (possible other scary story)

As for the cultivator thingy that is the theory . I gave the first part .

maybe saying some stuff may scare possile researchers of that /magic students? because I accidentally slipped saying t scary truths theories sometimes ,
it would be irony to be said as horror story

Of the lighter truth .
The second part which I said is the darker scary , possibily forbidden part

There was a double to wanting to know EVERYTHING .
The everything is the not so restricted theory

And the more heavy stuff .
So I said the scary stuff if it is .
If it is too scary someting to say it's scary truth and Choise should it's wanted to know .

The heavy stuff it could understand Discord how he does his thing , and provably better understand Pinkie .

Getting the best advanced Potential of Pinkie

And the best potential of Twilight Sparkle as the element of Magic and Science is the other half of MAGIC(Unity of All, (Friendship is part of Unity of All))

Just to know/say

Fluttershy is druid and a ranger , could control the nature , and something kind of ... Mind control commanding eyes potential ,
Syren also as her voice is honey ?

Maybe AppleJack has just the streght and Control the plants and lie detector , unless she learn how the magus does it and doing it herself

Pinkie is a bard
Rarity can replicate the cristal ponies with her talent ,

Rainbow is Hermes I guess(By Fernir's opinion , she was. Compared to surpass Slepnir in speed , maybe somewhere there are her roots , oh yeah ,The Flash and Flashpoint as well.

And I said Twilight is Merlin

Alicorn is the probably the misterious third path of cultivation , and the pillar to go higher , it's probably level of divine champion when are bigger grates .

Basicly I wish what I know what potential has to prosper , grow and advance .

Sometimes uncontrolably slipping truths theories which may bring... confusion ?

Well maybe the Twilight in the end of the comment , MAY ADVANCE , Albeith MAYBE Alittle disturbed a little

(Slams their palm on a table) THIS SHIT IS AWESOME!!! GIVE ME ANOTHER!!! (joyful screaming intensifies intensifies)

so he arrives only 2 years into twilight position as tia's student? that's quite a bit of time for him to train

Oh and one more thing .

The Basic stuff should be the more available stuff The Ruler of Equestria Celestia allows and partly combat magic

The Dark ,Soul , Necromancy are more uncommon but more likely to be found in magic advanced dimentions but relatively common

Well Using Void is more Rare even in the magic advanced universes .

Discord is equal to the relatively strong things even in the more magic universes and are few things surpassing

And up in the ladder are the high things

It's just to know probably to defend better and how Equestria fares against the more magic advanced universes when the things mentioned are more common knowledge even a bit rarer and more accepted in some places

Very interesting beginning. I will eagerly await more chapters. I admit I am not that big of a fan of multiple worlds stories, but I will definitely give this one a chance.

I did not know this but I think it is a good opportunity for people to get a feel for it and see what they think. Let's see how I do in inspiring myself and others with this work.

Eh. I could literally not find any art of an anthro form of the orochi kirin that weren't either human with monster features, nsfw, not male, or too strangely proportional.

Thank you for the aid, I am willing to accept suggestions.


Sorry. This is medicine for my inspiration and medicine sometimes hurts.

Thank you.

Only heard of the sneeze myself or if someone's ears are burning. Could be various versions.

I think I corrected it, unless auto correct failed me once more. Thank you for pointing it out.

I can like that kind of story from time to time but I am not interested in making one of those.

Heh. yeah those can be a bit annoying. But fun if made correctly.

Not really but they do take up a lot of attention.

Uuuum... Okay. Feeling a bit overwhelmed at the moment. A lot of interesting ideas and suggestions. But... maybe spell check it before posting and not write so much at once? I do accept PMs or messages on my blog posts or profile page. No need to clutter the comment section.

It is rather impressive, what shadesplit is doing I mean. Though a bit overwhelming.

Yeah a lot of basic explaining in the beginning. to get the information flowing. But I do not want too many explanations so I intend to just let people make their own assumptions on some of the things I write.

Thank you. yes, the Qi system in this story has its own rules. And will not be even one-tenth as advanced as some of the stuff I've read in stories or manwha. So I will try to make a less over-the-top Qi system and just try to make it function as it should without the extra hassle. And yeah the blood sect is a group of maniacs.

The next chapter is up. Enjoy.

The multiple world aspect will not get involved until later. Thank you for reading.

Indeed. He is just recently accepted as an Inner Disciple and has had his Qi cultivation forcefully advanced to the Fifth Rank of the Low tier, he needs to learn control and focus. Which will become apparent when he gets into a fight.

Thank for the music, though not sure if they fit.

I was kind of expecting a Kyoketsu Shoge or a chokuto type sword

I have questions for you as for the teacher and student relationship

This has been a most engaging read, a very interesting take on the isekai/crossover that has me looking into the source material.

I have to ask though, why the announcements for 'point of view' changes? I've seen so many fanfic writers do this and it never becomes any less jarring.

So long as the scene is well initiated and described (which both of the key instances were in this chapter), a page break is all that your readers will need to know that the focus has shifted. Your writing is more then good enough to achieve a smooth scene transition without the need for a cue card :)

Also, while first person perspective can seem much more intimate and allows for a smoother internal monologue, your wrighting style seems to favour the intricate scene wide descriptions of the third person. I've noticed that the exposition flowed much more naturally when you felt able to describe the surrounding events without the limitation of a single person's line of sight. This is illustrated by simply comparing the earlier 'spiritual conversation' scene with the later 'village walk through'. The latter felt more alive and conveyed far more between the characters and environment then simply what was said or thought.

Might be worthwhile sticking to the third person for a full chapter just to feel things out.

Brilliant read thus far and I look forward to your next entry.

I require more to sustain my life force.

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