• Member Since 17th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen 10 hours ago

ScarletRibbon


Just a pone who likes to write about other pones in compromising situations ranging from sexy to deadly and everywhere in between. https://ko-fi.com/scarletribbon

Comments ( 8 )

This was great! My inner degenerate wishes the juicy bit was bit more drawn out but the characterization made up for it. One thing I would like clarified though. Is Cadance still seeing Thunderlane for her own sexual satisfaction or is she back to having to look for another stallion due to the whole thing with Twilight? Regardless I would love to read the "B-Side" to this story from Cadance's perspective.

10701499
I have intentionally left about a half-dozen opportunities for sequel fics and side fics for this story. Exploring the perspectives of Twilight, Cadance, and Velvet are prominent in those possibilities.

As for Thunderlane, if I ever do write any of those sequel ideas, I can assure you, he won't be together with Cadance anymore - and Twilight isn't taking him back, either.

10701510
It sucks that she is back to square one on finding a stallion that's more sexually compatible with her.

Late contest review. Honestly, this is the entry that is the most divisive to me. There’s a lot I like about it, and a lot I still have a problem with. It was definitely the hardest to give a ranking at the end of it all. For one, I feel like I have a hard time judging this objectively, and I apologize for that. I remember some of the discussion about it on Discord both in the general chat rooms and in the judge chat, so I went into it with a much different set of expectations than the rest of the stories. That being said, I’ll do my best. On the plus side, I can commend that this story is trying something different. It does at least seem to be trying to take itself seriously, and tackling potentially uncomfortable subject matter. It does feel like more than just porn. But that being said, there’s still quite a bit that does just end up making me feel uncomfortable. The main reason for this is the relationships. It seems that to justify the incest happening in the first place it must create the most desperate and unhappy relationships to start with. Shining and Cadance having a poor sex life, and Twilight Velvet and Night Light as well. The latter in particular was the absolute hardest part of this to read. Twilight just continually putting her husband down every chance she got just felt kinda mean spirited and unnecessary. Like, she can’t just be with her son because she loves and likes him, it’s because her husband is a piece of shit. I know relationships aren’t easy, but it felt like it was overdoing it. The stuff with Twilight Sparkle was kinda weird too, both Shining’s fantasy of her and then nothing coming of it, and her discovery of them. The latter in particular felt odd because it should have been a major event, and yet was over relatively quickly in the grand scheme of things. Maybe if there’s a sequel these relationships and events can be explored more, but I can’t say I’m eager to read it. On a technical note, most of the story is fine. Well written and easy to understand, so it’s solid on that front. At the end of the day, this is a story that’s hard to digest. I can’t say I enjoyed it, but was I supposed to feel uncomfortable? I think it seems okay as a work of writing, but at the same time I have a hard time pinning down what it was trying to be and how to feel while reading it. I can respect it, but I can’t say it’s the premiere entry to this contest.

10722715
It actually was intended to make people uncomfortable. The issues that the characters have are real issues that real people in my life struggle with in their marriages - and I imagine that many others do as well. The only thing actually fictional about this story is the sex itself - and by extension, the being caught (which is still based on a real event). Everything else is things from my actual life being put into a pony context.

it is a story that is probably a lot more difficult to appreciate for people who don't have experience with rocky adult relationships. If you have difficulty relating to it, that's probably a blessing.

10723024
Okay, good to know. I think that does make the story more understandable.

So I like this quite a bit, but I gotta point out how predatory Velvet is being in this. She constantly eggs him on, touches him without asking, and is basically the instigator in this situation. I get that she's vulnerable and drunk in the scene, but Shining is clearly not exactly in the best head space either. Additionally, while they are both adults, she is very much the one in the position of power over him. TBH, if this is a real encounter turned into a story, then I'd reccomend both Shining and Velvet go to therapy. This is low key rape, even if Shining feels okay with it after.

Aannd the situation with Shining is also Cadence's fault. She does not seem like a caring lover, and even in her letter admits to feeling bitterness and resentment towards him during their previous encounters. That's super not healthy, and definitely contributing to his libido problems. People pick up on their partners moods, and these sorts of relationships are built around trust. Cadence didn't trust Shining, and lied to him about his performance for what seems to be years, he picked up on it and now they both have an unhealthy amount of resentment. Which leads to disinterest in sexual encounters, which leads to more resentment. If Cadence had nipped his "performance" issues in the bud right away, then perhaps they'd have a healthy relationship by now. Sexual skill is usually something can learn, especially with a communicative partner and a receptive attitude, unless it's plain chemistry missing. If this is how Cadence is treating Shining, their relationship is bound to die out at some point, side piece or not.

Honestly, Cadence, Velvet, and Night Light are 100% the bad guys here for different reasons. Night light is called out for his shittery in the story, so no need to go there. Unless that's Velvet being manipulative, but I'm going to trust her on this and assume the masturbating on the family couch and crying with a guest over wasn't some sort of intentional trap on her part. (Suspicious AF, BTW)

Shining is not much better with his sisterly lust, but at least he's being honest as he can be and communicating with his two partners.

All that aside, these darker and more fucked up undertones are why I love this story. Again, if these are real people then these underlying problems are things that couples therapists see everyday and can actually be addressed. Find a good one if you are one of these people. Bear in mind that some therapists are shit, but not all therapists are shit. So if you don't have much success with your first try, then try again! I'd highly recommend
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sensate_focus
You don't need a therapist to guide you through it. Take about 10 minutes with your partner in turns, where one lies still and the other touches wherever (avoiding the obvious erogenous zones). This works well with both (or either, or even other) genders, and after a few sessions you usually start to see marked results. It's a 20 minute exercise you can do once or twice a week. "Cadence" in this story might also be dealing with generalized anxiety, or any number of other issues. All parties might honestly benefit from one on one therapy here...

Anyways, I am not a professional. So take this with a grain of salt.

Story wise, I love fucked up characters and dark themes. You hit this one out of the park for that! You have rape, manipulation, abuse, and an unwitting protagonist. I have a few grammar comments (way too many sentences start with "and" or "but", and a couple paragraphs are quite long) but they were not too distracting. I personally feel this warrants a dark tag, but I'm late to the party and nobody has complained yet, so perhaps I'm the odd one out here. All in all, engaging read with an interesting story. Thanks!

I'd be down to see a darker take on this where Shining and Twilight get together later, but in no timeline is that actually a good thing. lol.

10788297
My man, it's hot and they both wanted it. That is as far as the thought process needs to go normally and this is just a porn fic, but if lying to yourself about character motivations makes it hotter sure but the essay is unnecessary.

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