• Member Since 4th May, 2015
  • offline last seen May 20th

The Warmaster


Trying to keep up the motivation to write, and am trying to focus my attentions

Comments ( 53 )

i'm very excited for more

Oh yes, I need more of that.

And when we come back, we find out Ahriman has been here for years, just messing around in a library, creating a book club. Nope, nothing heretical going on here, nah.

Interesting, looks good, also do I need to read the original story?

10283458
it does say rebooted so probably not

its nice to see this story again but if he is kharn the betrayer he will suffer from butcher's nails

I like this keep going

Okay so we have: khan the betrayer, Arhiman (He's on the cover so it's obvious)

For the other two chaos champions I'm going to guess Typhus and Lucius the eternal. But then again it could be Fabius Bile.

I'm Assuming Vaughn was too weak willed for the conversion, and is currently being controlled by the spirit of Ahriman

this is kharn the betrayer: vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/warhammer40k/images/c/c6/Kh%C3%A2rn_the_Betrayer_Updated.jpeg/revision/latest?cb=20160922101225


his axe the Gorechild he got it from Angron this axe can never be broken and it eats souls.

his helm is the Death-counter it tell him how many he killed its a helmet size scoreboard.

he have an Archaic Plasma Pistol that shoot warp fire.

DON'T PISS OFF KHARN THE BETRAYER YOU WILL DIE

10284545
Fabius Bile is no longer part of the emperor's children he is like Trazyn the Infinite he does what he do for his personal goals.

10290500

Wait, are you telling me all this, or telling the other readers? Cuz I do know about Gorechild, the kill counter in his helmet, and the pistol. But Gordon doesn’t exactly remember those things. He was a tabletop player, so most of that information wouldn’t immediately come to mind. For now.

But still, thank you for trying to help out!

10310526
it is a note to every one why you don't mess with him he is like the doomguy of 40k

It would be really funny to see the reactions of a sudden WAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!! Appear

Good intro for the reboot.

“We are Celestia’s Chosen! We do not run from monsters! Monsters run from us! And I, Glamorous Ego, will not cower away from one of Nightmare Moon’s puppets!”

Well, this guy isn't going to have a long life span.

I wonder if the champions of chaos can transfer the gift of chaos to other ponies and species to get armies for future battles.

From what I read at the end of the chapter, the gods of chaos do exist in the world of equestria.

Huh, so one or perhaps three Chaos Lords (Or Sorcerers, not sure) in Equestria amidst a Civil War between the Sisters?

Hoh hum...

Interesting that there's no Chaos influence in this first character's mind yet, although that could change very quickly.

“Hrnnngh… Now you will… pay… for killing these innocents!” It raised its axe and began viciously cutting the captain apart slowly, cutting only deep enough to draw blood, and never a killing blow as Ego’s screams pierced the night. Though Silvershell wasn’t there to see it, it took ten minutes for him to die, and the blood-crazed monster roared over his desecrated corpse.

LOL. Wonder how Khorne feels about one of his "champions" killing for "good".

Honestly probably doesn't give a shit. Isn't Khorne all about killing? I feel like he wouldn't care who was being killed so long as there was killing involved.

(I'm not super into W40K so lore isn't my thing, so excuse me for not getting everything)

Also dang, unless there's other pieces in play one character lost themselves to chaos. Dunno about this one, but they seem.... somewhat okay? As okay as you can be with the powers of Chaos in your body and an urge to kill.

even a short chapter is better then nothing.

After rereading the first chapter, it makes me wonder if it's possible to use the board game figures to summon troops of chaos.

Wisteria smiled mildly. “Well said. I won’t force anypony to follow along, but I believe that it’s in your best interest to leave as soon as we can. If not as a group, then as strays for them to pick off.” With that, the vampire stepped down. “Gather your belongings. We leave next nightfall.”

Don’t think it was specified last chapter that they were a vampire. Guess it’s confirmed now though.


So we have three. One of which is evil. The others simply influenced so to speak. Dunno if these are the three friends or if there’s more at play still...

Also two confirmed of Khorne. Was expecting more than just one (or two) Chaos God, but I’m not even sure if Tzeentch or Slaanesh or others even have their own CSM’s.

10330495

We decided not to go with a Slaanesh or Nurgle champion, since if we did a Nurgle champion, well. The planet would die easily. And Slaanesh... is, well, Slaanesh.

10330634
Fair enough! I could see Nurgle being a problem, what with the whole idea of him spreading a plague that probably maybe can't be stopped lol.

Also now I'm confused I thought Tzeentch was a Chaos God and I completely forgot about Nurgle.

Ah well lol

When do you think of going back to this story?

10452981
We’re working on it, we’ve just been busy with real life and attempting to start up a Displaced War and make it actually work...

10453070
Hey, I know this story hasn't quite taken off, but I wanted to know if you're going to introduce Warhammer Fantasy concepts in the future?
Like, for example, the Chaos Dragons.

10322185
I mean if I were the blood god I wouldn’t care were the blood comes from as long as it does come.

10486943
Exactly. Blood for the blood god, skulls for his skull throne. It's kinda ironic that while the Chaos Gods are clearly bad, some of them aren't actually that bad.

The skin underneath his grey coat was crawling, black veins spreading from his still seeing, reptilian eye as two black horns sprouted behind his ears. His mouth was being forced open, massive jagged and razor sharp teeth growing far bigger than what should be natural. Draconic spines were rapidly growing out from his neck, their color like that of a blazing fire. Where once he had two eyes, one was covered over by new, black skin, and blackened blood cried from the other one.

I do enjoy seeing chaos corruption taking form. it brings the inner word bearer in me.

10453099
in 40k chaos all ready have dragons they are called heldrakes

10531879
I know, but I'm talking about REAL chaos dragons.
static.wikia.nocookie.net/warhammerfb/images/7/7d/Chaos_dragon.png/revision/latest?cb=20160502005413

I mean, if ponies can be corrupted by Chaos, why can't the other races?

So far Ahriman does not have the technology and the means to create Haldrakes.

Also, we are talking about the world of Equestria, a fantasy world, and I think some concepts from WH Fantasy would fit into this story.
Although the latter is already the author's own decision.

FINALLY, you've finally upgraded, I have to admit waiting for this chapter felt like forever.
Hopefully we don't have to wait another four months for another chapter, since this reboot promises a lot with that improved writing that you have and that you do it better than the old version, which despite not being a bad story, leaves much to be desired.

“It’s impolite to interrupt someone when they are reading, boy.” Ahriman said, the vox grille of his helmet making the words much more menacing than what he had intended. He gave an indignant sigh as the colt struggled behind him, closing the book and rising from his makeshift throne. He had collected a large quantity of dull swords, spears and other such weapons left to rot by their former wielders, using but a trifle of his powers to rapidly overheat the metals in an instant, and with but a simple application of telekinesis he had remolded the melting steel into a simple throne for him to rest in. The seats the equine’s used were far too small.

Is it my imagination or did Ahriman build himself an Iron Throne in the style of Game of Thrones?

With the possession that this divining professor suffered from looking at things that no inexperienced mortal should see, it only gives me to understand that Chaos is already beginning to manifest in the world of Equestria.

As the crowd lurched back from him in horror, but the stallion continued. “And, y-your highness… The one who names himself… th-the master of w-war…” He coughed, blood splattering against the marble floor as his internal organs were being rearranged. “He… he shall take from you… a pony, from our school… they shall be turned against their home, and bring about… th-the end of alllll!” His one eye bulged outward, leathery wings bursting from his back as he roared in pain, black claws bursting from his hooves, and before any of the guards could react, he lunged at the Princess of the Sun, all sense of reason and sanity gone from him.

Why does something tell me that in the end Celestia is going to exile the wrong pony?

10532015
in warhammer 40k the world of Equestria will be considered a combination of a feral world and feudal world. it doesn't matter if the settings of the world are fantasy, since warhammer 40k is a grimdark fantasy sci-fi.

It's been a while since you've published a chapter, and I wanted to know if you still have plans to continue this?

11022743

Yes.

We were struggling through an extremely annoying to write scene, in which we recently decided to shelve for a later chapter and thus are essentially having to rewrite much of said chapter. In addition, both me and my co-writer are easily distracted, and were having difficulties with some additional ideas and generally scheduling, having us both motivated to write at the same time, and generally having a lack of sense of time has resulted in this unacceptable delay.

In short, Sorry for being awful with updates, but we ARE still working on it. Just have to effectively rewrite the majority of the chapter and continue from there

I see it and I don't think so, you just updated this story and I thought it would take longer to update this.

I'm a bit confused, does Celestia know about the existence of the Ruinous Powers or is she confusing them with Discord?

I'm assuming the weird ponies that kidnapped that pony named Daze are cultists or something.

I'm not sure what ponies mean by The Etherean but I can theorize that it's the same as what we humans call the Warp.

PS: Do you plan to include Warhammer Fantasy concepts in the future?

11242948

Many worlds have different names for the Warp, like how Prospero called it the Great Ocean. To the Equestrians, it is known as the Etherean.

The other stuff will be explained in due time, but as for the fantasy lore…. Possibly?

Im not super knowledgeable on Fantasy Lore (my only sources are a Liber Chaotica book of Tzeentch and the Total War Warhammer games) But this world has suffered a Chaos Invasion before.

Most of this info we’ll try to elaborate and build upon in time, as we want it to naturally be explained without much of an exposition binge.

11243099
Regarding Fantasy/Age of Sigmar, we are talking about Equestria, a world of fantasy but at the same time technologically backward.

An example would be the weapons and armor of the Forces of Chaos, since I don't think there are Power Armors or firearms in Equestria.

Here some images.
preview.redd.it/n91k28fikto71.jpg?width=640&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=328c27dbfd1d6cdc0460166230ef0a7fa6a790a8

preview.redd.it/ppsh68fikto71.jpg?width=640&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=cc9bc6c1d2fe1c80c501bf61f40173bac6ba86d9

Yes yes yes it's back

11243130

Weapon wise, likely. Magic is powerful in this world, and though there may be some leftover weapons from the previous invasion here and there, Equestria does have equipment capable of fighting Servants of Chaos. One of the things I dislike in stories like these (that i have been guilty of myself) is that the main characters are too powerful and have nothing that can challenge them.
Now I understand the power fantasy kind of thing, but to me it does not make for an engaging story. I’m hoping to give the main characters a credible threat while ensuring that it does not break lore, or feels pulled out of left field.

Nice to see this story updated, I was rather concerned it wouldn't be continued.

11254978

We intend to, it’s just that we either lose track of time, we get demotivated by some barrier in the writing (figuring out a whole slew of worldbuilding on the fly is difficult) or, like today, we intend to write, and then something comes up.

And then a loop of this occurs and suddenly it’s been a year since we last updated and I get extra uppity about getting something done.

Excuses aside, I want to write this. Very much so. Warriors was my first big thing on Fimfic, and I want to do it the Justice it deserves

Login or register to comment