• Published 26th Apr 2020
  • 635 Views, 8 Comments

Spells and Sirens - Hopeful_Ink_Hoof



Wallflower Blush introduces bored Dazzlings to the world of Dungeons and Dragons

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An Obvious Party

It all started when Wallflower Blush came back from grocery shopping. As she approached, the front door opened, revealing Adagio Dazzle. However, instead of simply stepping out, Adagio stood there, holding it open. As soon as Wallflower stepped inside, Sonata Dusk came up, offering to help and taking one of the grocery totes. Next to Wallflower's apartment door was Aria Blaze, leaning against the wall. Aria glared at Wallflower and opened her mouth, but suddenly stopped.

With a roll of her eyes and huff, Aria Blaze reached out and took the other bag.

"There, now you can unlock the stupid door."

Wallflower Blush released her grip on the can of pepper spray, and took a hold of the key. As she opened the door and stepped inside, the sirens followed.

"I'm not putting any of this crap away," Aria declared as she made her way to the kitchen.

"But Aria," Sonata whined out, "that bag contains milk. The least you could do is put that in the fridge."

"No. The least I could have done was drop the bag on the inside of the door frame. If I was lucky, the container would shatter, and soak the whole thing in milk."

"Would you two shut up?" Adagio snapped, turning to glare at the pair. "I swear, you two idiots couldn't even give us five minutes to try and make a good impression?"

Wallflower removed her face mask and took a deep breath, enjoying the air without having to deal with the humidity and smell of her own breath. She then turned to look at the trio.

"I went to Canterlot High," she stated. "I was there when you tried to mind-control everyone." Although she had skipped out on the big finale performance, but that did not really matter at this point.

Aria let out a snort.

"So much for you plan of sucking up to the new girl."

"Oh shut up!" Adagio snapped. "At least I was trying to do something instead of whining about the boredom, or how someone wouldn't stop whining about being bored."

"Bored?" Wallflower repeated. "You're here because you're bored?"

"It's annoying," Aria yelled back. "Every five minutes." She shifted into a falsetto. "Ariaaaa, I'm borrrrred. Aria, what'cha doin'?" Her voice resumed its normal raspy tone. "Being stuck in that crappy apartment with you two is bad enough! But having my reading or gameplay interrupted by little miss ADHD here makes it all the worse."

"Hey," Sonata. "It's not my fault we couldn't afford my medication." She pointed a macaroni and cheese box at the other siren. "Besides, I know you were just as bored as I was." Her raspberry colored eyes narrowed. "I heard you complaining how you were getting tired of zombies, and new poon, or whatever it's called."

"By the depths!" shouted Adagio. "Would you two stop wasting oxygen already?"

She turned toward Wallflower Blush.

"This," she motioned at the other two sirens with one hand, "has been going on for two weeks." She let out a sigh, crossing her arms. "Admittedly, we tend to act like this anyways, but the cabin fever is making it so much worse." Her raspberry eyes narrowed as she bared her teeth. "I swear, I'm about to skin them both alive."

Wallflower shifted, looking away as fear of such violence pulsed through her. Still, something had been said that had her curiosity.

"You mean you three are actually following the quarantine?"

"Pff," Sonata huffed as she turned back toward the kitchen. "As if we have a choice in the matter. All the not boring places are closed except the park, and it's no fun being at the playground when there aren't any kids to terrorize."

With a sigh, Wallflower made her way to the kitchen. She quickly looked over what groceries were left, and started putting them away.

"I don't know what you expect me to do. I'm not exactly an exciting person even without the whole social distancing thing. So, unless you're interested in creating an apartment garden or playing DND, there's nothing I can do to help."

"What's DND?" asked Sonata.

"Wait," Aria called out. "I remember that one. Back in the nineteen-eighties." She scowled. "Remember back when everyone was afraid of satanic cults moving into the suburbs and abducting their kids for sacrifice, or whatever?"

There was a moment of silence, then the three sirens suddenly burst out into groans.

"I forgot about that," Adagio said with a huff. "Everyone was so paranoid. If you didn't fit a very specific list of requirements, everyone in the neighborhood would suspect that you were a devil worshiper." She held up a finger. "Except, if you seemed too perfect, then they would be suspicious, because there was 'no way someone could be that good.'"

"We got some good meals from it, though," Sonata pointed out.

"ONE!" Aria snapped. "We got one good meal from it, and that was only because we were lucky enough to not be suspected at the time. And that's because we were already moving away."

"Wait, wait," Wallflower called out, holding up her hands. "What does any of this have to do with Dungeons and Dragons?"

"Supposedly, it was a gateway to devil worship and animal sacrifice," Adagio answered.

There was a pause as the sirens let the information sink in.

"You're messing with me, right?" Wallflower asked. Because there was no way any of this could possibly be true. There was no possible way that people could believe such a thing. It was a fantasy adventure game. It would be like accusing The Lord of the Rings or Chronicles of Narnia of somehow leading to devil worship.

"Not in the slightest," Sonata declared. "I even have an tiny religious comic about how it can teach actual dark magic. I can bring it over and show it to you some time."

Wallflower's mouth opened, then shut. She took a deep breath, slowly let it out, and returned her attention to the group.

"We're getting way off topic here." Although, she was absolutely going to look this stuff up online later. "If you three are interested in trying it out, I could run a short one-shot campaign."

After the rest of the groceries were put away, and the three talked and considered it, they decided to give it a try, if only to waste a couple hours for one day. So Wallflower Blush grabbed her dice, books, and extra characters sheets, and had The Dazzlings roll up their characters.

As soon as they finished, she was already worried about things.

"Are you sure about this?" Wallflower asked. It did not seem right to outright refuse, and she did not have any good reasons to that she could think of to do so. After all, characters like that could be played well, and even work some great variety as they went. Still, something about the whole thing bothered her.

But the three of them refused to make any changes, even to the characters' names.

With a sigh, and a pit in her stomach, she started the campaign.


The city of M'dmarche was a place that many passed through. Being at a major crossroads for multiple major cities, what had once been nothing but an inn for travelers had grown into an impressive city in its own right. Although the original inn, The Wobbling Wheel, had long since been destroyed, a newer, larger one with the same name had been built in its place. It is said that, sooner or later, all adventurers find their way there.

Such was the case for the three high-elf bards that had just walked in: Adagio, Aria, and Sonata. The three of them stood in the doorway, looking around and taking in the tavern before moving forward.

Adagio went first, making her way toward the bar. As she did, she pulled down the hood of here cloak and threw back the cape, revealing the low cut top and short skirt she wore underneath. A seductive smile spread across her face as she approached, and one hand reached up to adjust her top, making sure to show off plenty of her cleavage. As she reached the bar, she leaned forward, pressing her arms against the sides of her breasts to lift them up and press them together. Her eyes narrowed as she looked at the barmaid.

"Hello there," she purred out before licking her lips.


Back in the apartment, Wallflower Blush was slouching in her chair, hiding behind her Dungeon Master screen. She was staring at said screen, facing away from Adagio Dazzle as much as possible. She could feel her cheeks burning hot, that sweet voice echoing in her ears. The image of those voluptuous lips and inviting cleavage would not leave her mind.

Clearing her throat, she shifted to look at the other two sirens.

"So, while tha-" her voice cracked, forcing her to cough again. "While that happens, what about you two?"


Aria turned and headed toward toward the corner furthest from the door and bar. She did not move to sit down, but instead stood in the corner, leaning against the wall and letting the shadows engulf her.

That just left Sonata. Her eyes scanned the room slowly, studying each of the patrons around her.

One in particular caught her interest: a male, human, merchant. He was dressed in fine fabrics, with multiple rings on his hands. Streaks of silver could be seen in his hair and beard. One hand held a chalice, as a wine bottle rested on the table. To one side of him sat an androgynous elf in light leather armor, a rapier at their hip. To the other sat a male half-orc, wearing only a loincloth, with a large axe at his side. Across from the merchant sat a blue dragonborn female, dressed in a long black jacket.

Sonata walked toward the merchant, one hand reaching to unsheathe her dagger as she planned to steal his bag of money. Just walk by, slice the purse strings, catch the bag, and keep going.


"Sonata," Wallflower said gently, leaning toward the girl in question. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yeah." One blue eyebrow rose up. "Why wouldn't I?"

"You're in a crowded tavern, and he has three bodyguards, who are at least keeping a passive eye on him. That means it's going to be very difficult to get away with." Wallflower leaned forward more, glancing at the character sheet. "Plus, you don't have 'Sleight of Hand' as one of your skills."

"But I can still try, can't I?'

There was a slight pain behind Wallflower's eyes. Closing them, she rubbed at the lids.

"Yes. Just letting you know it's going to be extremely difficult. And if you fail, you will have to deal with an angry merchant and his bodyguards." She opened her eyes to look at Sonata. "At minimum." She then spoke the next part very slowly. "And you are level one."

"Okay," Sonata replied. She then looked back down. "So what do I do?"

There was a sigh of resignation, marking the realization that this was one of those situations where there was no dissuading the player from doing what she was going to do.

"Alright. Roll a d-twenty."

Sonata looked up at her, brow furrowed in confusion.

"The twenty sided die," Wallflower clarified.

The look did not disappear as Sonata looked down, staring at the dice in front of her.

"Which one is that one?"

"The largest one, furthest right."

"Oh, okay." Taking the twenty-sided die in her hand, Sonata gave it a quick shake, and rolled it onto the table. As it came to a stop, the number one was facing up.


Just as the elven bard Sonata was within reach of the merchant, when the dagger slipped from her hand. There was a loud Thunk! as the weapon hit the wooden floor blade first, the tip sticking in deep enough to hold it upright. All other sound vanished from the world, except the faint hum of the stuck dagger still vibrating from impact. Every eye turned, staring at the source of it all.

"Assassin!" the elven guard shouted as they stood. One hand grabbed at the rapier, drawing it from the sheathe. The rest of the small group were not far behind, the merchant taking a step back from Sonata, and the half-orc grabbing his axe.

"What?" Sonata cried out, waving her hands. "No! No! I'm not an assassin! I was just trying to steal his money! I swear!"


Adagio and Aria both brought a hand up to their face with an audible smack, causing Wallflower to snicker.


"Seize her!" the merchant ordered. "Hold her until the guards arrive!"

"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!" Sonata bellowed, pulling out a second dagger.


"Roll initiative," Wallflower ordered. She then turned toward the other two. "That includes you two as well."

"And if we don't want to join in the fight?" asked Adagio.

"Well, I can still see what you want to do on your turn, even if you don't want to get involved. I'll also have it in case you change your mind."

"Alright. So what do we roll?"


Before Sonata, the merchant, or any of his guards could act, Aria struck. Pulling out a warhammer, she charged up behind the dragonborn. Gripped with both hands, the hammer was swung down, slamming into the skull hard.

The dragonborn barely cried out before it fell, slamming against the table unconscious.

Seeing one of his companions fall, the half-orc let out a roar of fury. He shoved the table aside and stepped forward, swinging his axe at Aria. The blade slammed into her shoulder, cutting deep. It hurt as it did massive damage, but she was able to keep standing.

The elf moved next. Stepping around the merchant, they swung their rapier, slashing at Sonata. However, the blade missed, the tip just barely running across the fabric of the cloak.

With a sigh, Adagio straightened up from her spot at the bar.

"I suppose I should go help those two," she announced. She walked toward the fight, then stopped.


"And I end my turn," said Adagio Dazzle.

Several seconds passed in silence before Wallflower asked, "That's it? You can still attack, or try to talk the down."

"I could," Adagio agreed with a nod, "but I'm not. Not yet, anyways."

After another second, Wallflower shrugged and moved on.


The merchant moved back, getting further away from Sonata and Aria.

"What am I paying you for?" he snapped. "Stop them!" Placing a hand on the elf's shoulder, he gave a shove (which did cause the elf to move, but not enough to provoke an attack of opportunity).

However, for some reason, Sonata decided not to attack the elf on her turn. Instead she opted to throw her dagger at the merchant, hoping that killing said merchant would get the bodyguards to stop their attacks (and no amount of claiming it would not work or asking her to explain her thinking would deter her). The blade struck the man, but did very little damage, and nowhere near enough to be fatal.


With Sonata done, it was back to Aria at the top of the list.

"I'm going to cast Thunderwave!" Aria announced.

With a feeling of dread in her stomach, Wallflower grabbed the Player's Handbook, and flipped to the page with the spell. She read through the description, chewing on her lip as she did.

She took a deep breath.

"Okay... If you do that, from where you currently stand, you will also hit Sonata and Adagio, as well as some of the random patrons. It'll also send everything in its shockwave flying. That means the chairs, the tables, the eating utensils, and possibly the lamps hanging from the ceiling. What's more, it will be heard for three-hundred feet. Which means that people outside will hear it. Including the guards."

She leaned in toward Aria, almost pleading as she asked, "Are you sure you want to do this?"

Aria gave a vicious grin and nodded.

"I'm sure."

Wallflower sighed.

"Okay. Roll two d-eights. Adagio, Sonata, make Constitution saving throws."

She then started rolling several dice of her own.


With a few words and movements of her hands, Bard Aria unleashed deafening, thunderous shockwave. The explosion of sound sent tables, chairs, and everything on them flying. Although (thanks to a decent percentile roll) the hanging lamps managed to keep from breaking off their chains, the glass around the candles shattered. Several people were knocked back from it, including Adagio, Sonata, the merchant, and his elf bodyguard. All of them were unconscious when they hit the floor. The half-orc, however, was able to withstand the attack, and keep in place.

And it was now his turn.

With a snarl, he pulled his axe back and swung at Aria.


Wallflower Blush stared at the twenty-sided dice she had rolled for the barbarian's attack, looking at the twenty pointing up at her.

She grabbed two twelve-sided dice and rolled.

Ten and seven.

She sighed.

"Okay," she said in frustration. "With that, all three of you are now on the floor unconscious. Normally, you would make death saving throws to see if you stabilize or die, but I'm going to skip that since you're all out." For a moment, she considered declaring that all three of them died, but decided against it. "Instead, I'm going to say that some people were willing and able to stabilize you. However, you are unconscious. The town guards arrive, and after being informed what happened, arrested the three of you."

She flopped back in her seat.

"So, you three have a choice," Wallflower announced. "Either we can end this campaign here and call it a day, or we can take a break while I figure out how to continue the game."

"You mean that's it?" Sonata asked.

"Laaaaame," said Aria.

"Indeed," agreed Adagio. "I really thought that we would get to do more."

"Well, I did have several plot hooks in mind, depending on what you did," Wallflower replied, letting the annoyance fill her voice. "Including... possibly taking on a job for the merchant." One hand slammed down on the table hard enough to sting. "I didn't realize you guys would go full murderhobo as soon as we got started." She let out huff, throwing herself backwards in her seat. "So, if we want to continue, I need to figure out what the jail is like, and then come up with an excuse as to why they might release you to go on an adventure."

"We could just escape," Aria pointed out.

"Which I also have to come up with an idea for," Wallflower groaned, rubbing at her face. "Like how many guards there will be, and what they can do. Maybe some puzzles you have to solve."

"Wow," said Sonata. "That sounds like a lot of boring work."

"It can be a lot of work," Wallflower replied, "but it can also be a lot of fun once everyone gets into it."

"Hm," Adagio said as she stood up. "Well, I say we call it day. Maybe we can play again some other time."

"Oh, oh," Sonata called out. "I can make us all something to eat."

The two of them turned toward Aria.

"Fine," she huffed, leaning back in her seat. "If it will shut you two up and let us get out of the apartment, I guess we can try this stupid game again."

With that, the three of them got up and left.

Wallflower Blush felt conflicted. On one hand, she had been getting frustrated herself, and the chance to run a game would be a welcome distraction. On the other, the first game had not gone very well at all, and it would likely be a long time before it got to anything good. The sirens were probably going to do something similar when they started up again.

At least she had a nice distraction by having to plan out a possible campaign.

Comments ( 8 )

Have to say, love the work that went into the humor, exchanges, action (during the D & D campaign) and future chapter set-up in all the right places. Yeah, I could, unfortunately, see some people being stupid enough to think Dungeons and Dragons could lead to devil worship. And, yeah, I could ALSO see the Dazzlings getting bored enough to give the game a try and admitting that it actually IS a good time killer.

On another note, I could see Rarity and Twilight having to do most of the shopping for THEIR respective families (Rarity because her gem constructs are more protective than a mere mask [though she could definitely make some rather sweet-looking masks and gloves too] and Twilight because her telekinesis makes it a lot easier for her to pick things up from FARTHER than six feet away).

But, anyway, really entertaining one-shot.

10202628
If I remember correctly, JonTron on YouTube does something on this. He watches some religious thing that says it means you worship the devil. It was hilarious, even if it wasn't JonTron.

Very entertaining. Nice job!

Ri2

So, the Dazzling's are following quarantines… And go over to somebody else's house to play D+D?

10203452
First, like they say in the story, they aren't following the quarantine by their own choice. It's more that with everything else on lockdown, there isn't really anything else they can do.

Second, they live in the same apartment building as Wallflower. So it's a little safer in that they don't have to go out in complete public.

Although she had skipped out on the big finale performance, but that did not really matter at this point.

It does help explain her "Sunset's no different now than when she ruled the school" stance. Based on my own experiences with an allergy to school spirit, Wallflower might not have even been on campus during the Friendship Games.

"Wait, wait," Wallflower called out, holding up her hands. "What does any of this have to do with Dungeons and Dragons?"

I envy her ability to ask that question given the context.

It would be like accusing The Lord of the Rings or Chronicles of Narnia of somehow leading to devil worship.

Oh, you sweet summer child...
And Sonata actually has the Dark Dungeons Chick tract. Oh wow. :rainbowlaugh:

Hmm. Well, as far as single-class parties go, bard is one of the better choices. Three jacks of all trades can get a lot done... but that still assumes some degree of competence and cooperation. Hopefully Wallflower explains that the girls aren't vastly powerful mistresses of emotion... yet. Possibly restarting the campaign with Sonata as a rogue and Aria as a sorcerer or barbarian. (Adagio's clear bard material if seduction was her first impulse. :raritywink:)

Delightful stuff. I'd like to see this continue if you have any ideas for where else to go with it.

10203119
The movie in question was actually based on the tiny religious comic Sonata mentions. They actually got the rights for it and everything. They mocked the everloving crap out of it, but still.

Oh boy, there's nothing more entertaining than reading about the satanic panic in an EQG fanfic. :trixieshiftleft:

DnD shenanigans are always the best shenanigans. Any chance of this story continuing?

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