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What if Twilight never became Celestias apprentice but instead she died as a child and became the adopted daughter of Death himself?

How will this new world grow with her destiny altered in such a way? Follow the adventures of a Twilight who lives a life among the dead while walking the world of the living as well.

Featured: 2/3/2021

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 106 )

why can i imaging twilight reading learning and being a bit or a prankster on the maids abd making a spell that gives dead or near dead a glow she can see to tell them apart/booping people to be adokable

10452759
She better only boop the dead then else her body counts gunna rise, cause you know deaths touch and all that

10661254
But sheโ€™s technically undead and living between realities and has a pulse

10661262
still she contains apart of death him self, its entirely possible this could be one of the side effects

Also I preread this and I love it still

10661264
She has the ability to touch people and kill them but as she grows older and learns how to control her power more it will be something she can turned on or off. When she is working as a Reaper then she will have the ability on but when she's not working she'll have the skill off so as to not accidentally kill someone.

... was that maid from touhou? Or inspired by a character in it?

I thought this story might be a bit like Split Second, (Which I loved, so I was excited to read this) instead I found it going in a different direction that I love just as much!
Personally, I'm hoping for a chapter or two of a young Aeternum doing her job while maintaining all the innocence in the world. Just because it would be so cute!

10661325
Not sure which you're referring to at but the cover picture was me searching 'female Grim Reaper' in google and the picture of Twilight I got from derpibooru by searching human Twilight and looking till I found a young version of her. Took forever to find the pic of Twilight but I think it was worth it since she is so cute.

There are so many types of beings in the world. Those that don't want to go, those that have accepted the inevitable, those that want to go but don't believe they deserve for the pain to end and those that just can't stand it anymore.

I'm getting big I'm The Grim Reaper vibes, and I love it. :trixieshiftright:

10661600
I love that comic but my plan for this story is nothing like that.

I wonder will Spike ever be born now that Twilight has Died and Subsequently become the Alicorn of Souls/Death. Also will she ever start dating when she reaches her teenage years?

๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘

I cannot wait to see more this ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š

isnt this just like the web comic called 'im the grim reaper'? the cover art looks almost exactly like it

I am getting anime fives here

Yeah, Death is kind. Now Love, Love is the guy you should keep an eye out for. They will always stab you in the back

10662127
The only similarity that my story has to that web comic is that someone is a grim reaper. Yes, I've read the comic and I loved it but because concepts like this are done so often I paid special attention to make sure I didn't copy anyone else's work.

Actually I was inspired to write this story years ago after reading the story The Last Sparkle Before the Night and it's two sequels written by Amaranthine Thought. So this story been in development since early 2019. You all should go check out his stories because they were pretty good.

10661498
Sorry it took me so long to reply, I had to check my notes and that took a while.

The answer is no to both, a Yuki Onna is a Japanese ice spirit (it's not really but if you really want to know just look it up) and the name I made for her was just an ice themed pun I translated from English to Japanese with Google translate.

This is wholesome.... I BLOODY LOVE IT

I can imagine Death getting a Fatherโ€™s Day gift when the time arrives.
Also wonder have Davy Johns and Thanatos will react to Deathโ€™s Daughter

100th like :twilightsheepish: I'll be watching this very closely. It has a lot of potential.

Somehow I can imagine the Spirit of Harmony going absolutely NUCLEAR over Twilight dying an early death. Although I can't but wonder if will now be able to a different kind of harmony now.

Lol less then a day up already featured

"You're never going to let that go will you?" He muttered as she looked at Twilight one more time before rising and exiting the room.

"She looked" male all the way until now, but overall great start to a new story, much potential.

10662509
and also the cover art is really really like some art i saw advertising the comic (except the eye glow is purple instead of red). i do like this story and hope to get more chapters

You know, I do note, he only told her She couldn't tell people who she used to be, not that she couldn't tell them she was one of death's, hmmm, workers, i guess you could put it. That will be an interesting thing to keep in mind.

As you come into this world something else is also born; you begin your life and it begins a journey, toward you. It moves slowly but it never stops. Where ever you go, whatever path you take, it will follow. Never faster, never slower, always coming. You will run it will walk, you will rest it will not. One day you will linger in the same place for too long. You will sit too still or sleep too deep and when too late you rise to go, you will notice a second shadow next to yours. Your life will then be over.

An amazing quote from one of my all time favourite doctor who episodes. This gives me high expectations.

This is a great read. I wish the chapters were longer. But it's fine as long as the next chapter doesn't take too long.

I'm enjoying the story but I'm a little confused. Is this anthro?

10663569
It's not anthro but human, body types will be explained on a need to know basis.

Death chuckled. "Rule one, you can never tell anyone you were once Twilight Sparkle; if anyone learns then you will die."

I think you need to change this rule, assuming you intend to shove her back into the world of the living with no changes to appearance or age, then itโ€™s only a matter of time before this gets broken.

Between Celestia, her parents and her brother she will be dead within hours.

Maybe change it it to she canโ€™t speak her TRUE name or her new purpose to mortals OTHER than those who knew her before she died? This way she will have a support network in the living world she can fall back on when the stress hits to hard? She is dead (living dead?) so the Elements wonโ€™t accept her and the closure for her parents would be a good thing.

This story is very interesting i can't wait for more,im sure in the end it will be quite a piece of art :raritystarry:
*If it will be ended,but Damn i hope it will.Aaaand updated more than once a year :)

10663829
She will not be just thrown back into the Mortal World and even when she returns she will have little contact with her mortal family. As for Celestia, she never met Twilight because she died before she could take the entrance exam.

On a side note the wings Twilight has will also make it easier for people to not notice her, In this world the pony races are human so their bodies are a bit different.

  • The Pegasus A.K.A. Valkyries are a winges race of humans taking the appearance of angels. Valkyries that are especially gifted and Alicorns like the Princesses tend to have larger wings.
  • The Earth Pony A.K.A. Terra look exactly like humans with the single exception that they are extremely strong from birth and even without training are able to crush rocks and wood in their hands with little effort.
  • The Unicorn A.K.A. Magus are human like with the exception that they have natural 'tattoos' that cover their arms, these 'tattoos' are unique to the individual and appear shortly after the birth of the Magus glowing with the color of the Magus's magic. The 'tattoos' grows to always cover their arms with time and age and the stronger the Magus's magic is magic the more they detailed and intricate the markings are. Magus with extremely powerful magic like the like the Princesses have these 'tattoos' covering not just their arms but also their neck, face and even body.
  • The Crystal Pony A.K.A. Crystal Terra look exactly like their Terra counter parts with the exception that they appear to be made from crystal, when they die their bodies shatter and crumble to dust like shattered stone.
  • The Alicorn Race is a combination of the Valkyrie, Terra and Magus Races, they have larger wings than a standard Valkyrie, are slightly stronger than an average Terra and the 'Tattoos' that most Magus get are not only far more detailed but can cover more than just their body if they live long enough. Alicorns also have an extreme healing factor that gives them an abnormal longevity to their lives making them seem almost immortal however they can be killed like any normal being, they are immune to the ravages of time but anything other than that can kill them.

Soooo alicorns are elf life then also we need art of twilght now the hair sounds amazing and death gave me a pissed off inez vibe

10664620
I'm not any good when it comes to art so unless someone wants to do fanart of there won't be an image.

This is an interesting concept and i'm looking forward to seeing where you take this. your writing has really improved since your earlier stories, so keep going.
If I were to give you a recommendation right now, it would be to increase Aeternum/Twilight's age to 9 or 10 years old, because right now she acts a bit too adult and composed for what seems believable for a 7 year old girl, or you could just have have her act a bit more childish. This is of course just a recommendation so feel free to disregard it.

Anyway keep up the good work, it's really enjoyable to read. :twilightsmile:

10664852
Thanks for the advice, I'll work on making her more childish.

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