Act I: North Star (Bonus Chapter Part 2)
Woodland, New Jersey: thirty-seven years, eight months, and one day before the portal opens
I looked down at my gangly limbs, still trying to get used to my new skin. Being human felt weird, even months after I’d first volunteered to try the transformation spell. Danny had indicated I was attractive, though I certainly couldn’t see it in the mirror.
Galaxy had spent almost a year digging through the royal archives trying to find a suitable spell. A graduate from Princess Celestia’s School For Gifted Unicorns, she had access to restricted areas that were off limits to most ponies, though even she couldn’t get into the truly forbidden sections. Ponies had last had contact with humans a long time ago – so long that their entire species had fallen into the realm of myth.
In the end, it wasn’t Galaxy who found an appropriate spell, but Paradise, as she perused the books we’d brought back from the Castle of the Two Sisters. I’d chosen to go first – it had been my expedition that had led us all to Earth, so I felt it was my responsibility to make sure the transformation spell was safe.
Thankfully, it was. But safe didn’t make me miss my wings any less. I liked having fingers though. It was a weird trade, and if I could only have one, I’d pick my wings – a sentiment echoed by Wind Whistler, Firefly, Hearth Throb, and Surprise.
It was the only way we could leave the Williams’ farm. I hadn’t decided to come back to Earth to just sit around in one place. I wanted to explore. I needed to explore. But the spell only gave me two hours. It wasn’t long enough to go anywhere on my own. We relied on the Williams family to drive us places, and we needed to have Galaxy along to transform us. She couldn’t transform herself, lest she lose access to her ability to channel magic until the spell wore off.
Wind Whistler was looking into having objects enchanted with the spell, though that had its own drawback. Imagine wearing a necklace only for it to snag on something. That would end in disaster.
Megan had a shiny new driver’s license and an even shinier new convertible. A Mustang, though unlike its earlier incarnations, it lacked any pony badging on it, to the disappointment of all of us. But it was a convertible, a gift from Hasbro, the toy company that was making a fortune off pastel pony toys that Megan had helped ‘inspire’ Bonnie Zacherle to design. The truth was… somewhat more complicated than that. The company had no idea we were real, and all parties involved said that it was for the best if we remained hidden.
So when we traveled places, we did so as humans. We were introduced as ‘friends from out of town’ to anyone who encountered the Williams’ when we were out and about. Really, really far out of town. Our accents were unique. Even with human anatomy, we still had a vaguely pony way of speaking. Certain words that sounded close to neighs or nickers were overemphasized. Harmony, inside of all us, leant our voices a musical quality, even if we were speaking English.
It was jarring to anyone who wasn’t expecting it. It sounded like nothing else on Earth, so there was no convenient place we could claim we were from. Instead we settled on saying ‘we’re from France’ to play off the joke from the Coneheads skits on Saturday Night Live. A diversionary tactic suggested by Surprise that worked surprisingly well.
Disappointingly, there were no ancient ruins anywhere near New Jersey. Earlier cultures in the area had tended towards hunter/gatherer and agrarian. There were no crumbling monuments or hidden treasures waiting to be found. Not that it wasn’t exciting to be among the first ponies to make contact with an entirely new world, but it was more in line with Paradise’s interests than my own. It was a tremendous waste of my training and areas of expertise.
The only exploring I got to do was in shopping malls and the occasional horse race at Freehold. Because the Williams’ lived in the middle of nowhere, it required long car trips to go anywhere of interest. Rumor had it they’d be building a giant mall across from the racetrack, so it would eventually be possible to combine trips easily. First pony to go to a mall on Earth. Big deal. Also, technically Heart Throb’s accomplishment, not mine.
That still didn’t help with the two-hour limit on the transformations, which remained frustrating. Especially for Galaxy, who often had to ride in the car’s trunk to avoid being seen.
As we drove along the highway I glanced to the other traffic. A plumber’s van caught my eye – lots of space and no windows. I made a suggestion, and Megan pondered it. An old van wouldn’t be expensive, and it could even be decorated with a mural, like when vanning had been popular a few years earlier. We all agreed that a horse motif would be the only appropriate design.
Woodland, New Jersey: thirty-six years, four months, and eleven days before the portal opens
Wind Whistler had taken to helping Megan with her homework, and her grades improved significantly.
Upon graduating high school, Megan was accepted to college. She had no interest in going, however, and only applied so that Wind Whistler could go in her place. We had no papers, and we didn’t officially exist. Wind Whistler leaped at the chance, though it created some practical issues. She couldn’t live on campus, because the transformation spell only worked for two hours at a time. There was no way for her to have a room to herself, and the Williams’ didn’t know anyone there well enough to trust with our secret.
Instead, she commuted. Fortunately, by then Danny had his license. Megan had been an average student before Wind Whistler started tutoring her. Danny, on the other hoof, had no interest in academics at all. He dropped out of high school at sixteen, got his driver’s license, and he and Galaxy ended up chauffeuring Wind Whistler back and forth from their ranch to the college on a daily basis in an old Ford Pinto panel van that had been painted with a pegasus mural. It looked more like a Mobil gas station logo than a pony, but we were trying to be inconspicuous. Well, somewhat. Putting a boring business logo on the side would’ve been the ultimate way of hiding in plain sight.
While Wind Whistler was continuing her education, the rest of us did what we did best. Surprise divided her time between Earth and Equestria, having been accepted to the Wonderbolts. She’d tried out for the team at Firefly’s urging and made the cut. Firefly dropped out of the Wonderbolts Academy to move to Earth full time. Earth was new and exciting, and it fascinated her with being the first pony to go anywhere. She tended to go everywhere with Megan. Heart Throb, meanwhile, was Molly’s shadow. Even though the youngest Williams child wasn’t old enough to drive, that didn’t stop Heart Throb from following her around like a puppy.
That left me to my own devices, which in turn made me go stir crazy. As fascinating as Earth was, it wasn’t where I belonged. I found myself trapped between two worlds like Surprise, and returned to Canterlot University to complete my degree.
The portal was only a few hours away from Canterlot as the pegasus flies, so I returned to Earth frequently to visit my friends. Sometimes I’d bring Paradise along. She’d turned deciphering the humans’ language into a thesis. She cracked it long before the children we’d befriended learned Equestrian.
Then she found out there were more human languages. Lots of them. She’d made it her life’s work to translate as many of them to Equestrian as she could. She’d started with English, the native language of the land we’d discovered. The Williams’ were happy to borrow translation guides from their library, so Paradise started on Spanish, French, German, and Latin, which were the easiest languages to find research material for.
Her hope was to someday travel Earth and put her translations to the test. But the two-hour translation spell put a damper on that, as did the Williams’ ages and financial situation. They didn’t have the budget to travel the globe.
Paradise had joined me for this trip. We’d been tasked with creating a television series based on the toys Hasbro had created based on us. Of course, only Bonnie knew the truth. As far as the toy execs were concerned, Megan had a very vivid imagination.
Wind Whistler and I were quite knowledgeable on ancient Equestria, but Paradise was the expert on ancient lore. So we sat around discussing our favorite myths and legends. Grogar and Gusty the Great was, of course, one of the first to come up. ‘The father of all monsters’ and the unicorn with a special talent of making it windy.
Tirek/Tirac was the next to come up – the spelling of his name varied from one account of the tale to another. Nightmare Moon was immediately shot down. Now that we’d seen the Castle of the Two Sisters for ourselves… we’d proven that Princess Luna was as real as any of the rest of us, and no doubt Princess Celestia wouldn’t be pleased if she found out we vilified her sister for a television show. Even if she’s allowed an entire holiday to mock her. We might be outside her jurisdiction on Earth, but we all had friends and family in Equestria. We had to go back eventually, and none of us were willing to risk her wrath.
The Sirens were quickly dismissed when it was discovered that there was a similar legend amongst Earth’s sailors. Discord was deemed too whacky for the show – his mere presence would completely break the setting.
I suggested the end of Flutter Valley could make an interesting topic, and the others agreed. Now that I’d seen humans, it was obvious what Hydia and her daughters, Reeka and Draggle, were. The three witches from the Volcano of Gloom – they were the ones who caused the eruption that destroyed Flutter Valley, apparently wiping themselves out in the process. They’d also been responsible for the Smooze destroying Grundleland years before.
Paradise mentioned Lavan, and we were all in agreement that the tale of the lava demons would be a worthy addition to the lore of our semi-fictional world.
Heart Throb, Firefly, and Surprise merely nodded along as Wind Whistler, Paradise, and I debated the merits of including each of the suggestions. They weren’t as well-versed in history as the three of us, but they made a great focus group, agreeing with the ideas that most excited them and vetoing anything that didn’t.
For the protagonists, we decided to avoid anything to do with current Equestrian politics entirely. Queen Rosedust and Flutter Valley were fair game as their entire civilization had been decimated thousands of years earlier. We included grundles and other extinct creatures from lands far away. No extant species aside from ponies were part of the show’s cast. That meant no griffins, minotaurs, etc. There were two exceptions – Molly was really partial to the Abyssinians, so we created a feline witch character who redeems herself in the end. Heart Throb suggested the name Katrina, the most popular name in Abyssinia. Danny insisted on including a character named Spike because ‘dragons are cool’.
We, of course, all wanted to be the heroes of the show. For once, we wouldn’t need to hide ourselves. Once it was decided that a ‘first contact’ story would be aired as a special to gauge interest in a full television series, we all agreed to let Firefly be the star of the episode.
These discussions eventually turned into a show bible to present to Hasbro’s studio of choice, Sunbow.
Everfree Forest: thirty-two years, seven months, and twelve days before the portal opens
“This forest is creepy.”
“That’s the understatement of the year, Megan. Most ponies have trepidations about venturing forth into the Everfree. That’s why we’re aloft.”
I was leading the way to Canterlot. Wind Whistler was behind me, Megan perched atop her back. Double-W answered her many questions and comments about Equestria with nary a complaint.
Molly was riding Heart Throb, while Danny was riding Surprise – the latter two had recently revealed they were dating, much to the surprise of all of us. We were all supportive, especially Heart Throb. She was a firm believer in ‘true love knows no boundaries’.
Firefly had declined to come. We’d come to watch Surprise in a Wonderbolts derby and Firefly had dropped out of the academy to focus on exploring Earth. Surprise had indicated that it was more of a mutual parting of ways, with our friend having more than enough raw talent, but not enough discipline.
Danny had insisted on coming. And if he was going, there was no way his sisters weren’t coming too. They’d finally learned Equestrian. It had taken years, and a lot of patience on Paradise’s part. First, we’d had to learn English, then Paradise had painstakingly translated English to Equestrian.
Then they had to experience the same issues we’d come to terms with years previously – pony vocal chords weren’t designed for human languages and vice versa, but it turned out humans had a wider range of vocalizations, which made things a bit easier on them than it had been for us.
Galaxy was waiting for us at the edge of the forest. “I trust your trip was safe?”
I nodded.
“Hey! What are you!”
We turned to look at a purple filly who’d somehow spotted us.
“Hey sweetie. What are you doing all the way out here?” Megan knelt down to look at the foal.
“I’m not scared of monsters or the stupid Everfree Forest!”
“I didn’t say you were.” Megan reached a hand out to the filly and stroked her mane. “You’re very soft. What’s your name?”
“I’m Ember. Who are you?”
“I’m Megan Williams, and these are my siblings, Danny and Molly.”
“Those are weird names.”
Megan chuckled. “They’re very common names where we’re from. I’m sad to say that ‘Ember’ would be a very unusual name back home.”
“It’s unusual here in Ponyville too! I’m the only one in town, maybe the only one in all of Equestria!” She puffed out her chest.
“You’re the most adorable thing ever.”
“Hey! I’m not adorable! I’m tough! I’m a big, strong earth pony!”
I put a hoof on her withers. “Be that as it may, Ember, we should really locate your parents. The Everfree Forest is much too dangerous for a filly. Even I don’t like going into it.”
Ember tried to slip away into the forest but Megan picked her up.
“Hey! Lemme go!”
“Shhh, little one.” It was obvious Megan had helped raise her younger siblings. She calmed the filly down in ways none of the rest of us could hope to.
Eventually Ember scampered away – back to Ponyville, where she belonged. With the coast finally clear, Galaxy turned our human guests into ponies, and they followed us to Ponyville’s train station. It was amusing watching our guests ogle everypony going about their daily lives like they were the most interesting ponies in the world.
The train ride up the mountain took a bit over two hours, so Galaxy renewed the spell as discreetly as possible. Surprise provided a convenient distraction, keeping all eyes in the car on her instead of on Galaxy and our guests.
We disembarked in Canterlot, with Surprise rushing off to get ready for the race. The rest of us meandered around, showing our guests the sights and wandering into some of the shops so they could see pony wares up close and personal. Wind Whistler took note of the things that entranced them, with the intention of picking up Hearth’s Warming/Christmas gifts for them on a future trip.
We ducked down a deserted alley so Galaxy could once more renew the transformation spell, giving our guests another two hours as ponies. Then we made haste towards the racecourse. It would’ve been convenient if the transformation spell had turned our guests into pegasi, but they’d all become earth ponies. Wind Whistler theorized it was because they had no inherent magic of their own, hence they had no need of a horn to channel through, nor wings that would never be able to soar.
We primarily conversed in Equestrian, but our guests sometimes reverted to English if they didn’t want anypony hearing them asking questions that would make it obvious they weren’t really ponies. The natives didn’t even bat an eye at the exotic language – they were used to tourists from all around Equus.
Once we were in our seats, the questions kept coming so we were almost exclusively speaking English. The Williams’ wanted to know all about the racers, the track, and the various events. They also wanted to know about the tall white pony with both wings and horn. Wind Whistler explained that was Princess Celestia, the sole ruler of Equestria. There was no direct translation for ‘alicorn’ so we decided to refer to the princess as a ‘pegacorn’ for the short term.
Qualifying was a series of heat races designed to build hype for the main event. With the Wonderbolts, a lap around the track was over in less than a minute, so they had to do something to give ponies their money’s worth. They mixed things up throughout the racing season – shorter tracks were set up to be a series of sprints with less than ten ‘Bolts in the air at any given time. Longer tracks became endurance tests, flying hundreds of laps with many more ‘Bolts flying at once. Smaller tracks also had an obstacle course, something that could show off the precision flying of the team members as a palate cleanser between heat races.
Surprise did well in qualifying, winning her heat race and advancing to the night’s big race. Wind Whistler kept track of the time, nudging our guests whenever it was time for Galaxy to renew their transformation spells. They’d found a quiet spot under the bleachers that kept them away from prying eyes, though that didn’t stop them from complaining about missing some of the racing.
Upon returning to their seats for the third time, Danny excitedly asked if he’d missed anything. Wind Whistler assured him that they’d recharged the spell early, just to make sure he didn’t miss any of Surprise’s racing.
While Wind Whistler had been diligent in keeping track of the time, we’d all lost track of something else. Or rather somepony else. You would think the world’s only extant alicorn would be harder to lose in a crowd. But her shadow loomed over us right before the main race was about to start.
“It’s very rare I come across a language I haven’t heard before, my little pony. But it’s the reason why universal translation spells exist.” She switched to English, “I don’t know what this language is called, but I expect to learn all about it.”
We are so busted.
Princess Celestia continued in English. “It’s even rarer that I meet little ponies with no magical signature whatsoever. Well, none of their own, at the very least. I recognize Galaxy’s workings. One of the best students I’ve had at my school for gifted unicorns in recent memory. Her magical signature is all over these three. I’m sure there’s a rational explanation for this. I look forward to hearing it after the derby.”
Megan, Danny, and Molly all looked slightly more terrified than the rest of us. My throat went dry as I tried to think of ways to save all of us.
Galaxy, head hung low, materialized from where she’d been watching the racing. “Hi Princess Celestia.”
“Galaxy! It’s been such a long time since we last spoke! I trust you’ll be joining us to watch the main event?”
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” she replied in a tone that implied the exact opposite.
The princess beckoned us to follow her to her private suite. Royal Guards flanked us as we trudged to the luxury skybox.
Princess Celestia enjoyed the racing action, while the rest of us stood there with our tails between our legs, trying to enjoy our last precious moments of freedom and failing. With Firefly still on Earth, at least one of us was safe. As for Surprise… nopony could read a room like her. She would likely know better than to come looking for us.
Which was good, because we’d be counting on her to get us out of whatever prison the princess decided to throw us into. I looked blankly at Wind Whistler and she responded with a shrug – she had no good ideas either.
The cheering of the crowd broke me out of my thoughts. The racing was over and I didn’t even know who’d won.
“I must say that was an enjoyable way to spend the afternoon.” Princess Celestia was still speaking in English. It was unsettling to say the least. “Now there’s the little matter of what to do with all of you.”
“There’s no need to go to any trouble on our account, princess. We’ll just see ourselves out.” Danny did his best to diffuse the situation, but Celestia didn’t seem amused.
At some point even the Royal Guards had disappeared from the sportsbox, leaving us alone with the princess – not that she truly needed guards.
“I’m going to take a few guesses, and you stop me if I’m wrong. You found a portal I presume? Probably somewhere in the clouds over the Everfree Forest? I may not recognize the language, but I can recognize the magical void associated with creatures from outside of Equus. It’s been many, many centuries since we last had contact with humans. I have many questions. Please tell me about your world.”
“We… we could show you. Your Highness? Your Majesty?” Megan stumbled around trying to find an honorific worthy of the princess.
“While I would be absolutely delighted to venture across the portal, I’m afraid I can’t take you up on your offer at the present time. Maybe someday in the future.” She looked at me, specifically. “Once my sister returns. I’ll let her get acclimated back to Equestria, then we’ll do some traveling. Until such time, however, I have responsibilities on this side of the portal. Speaking of my sister…”
With a flash Princess Celestia teleported all of us. When our eyes adjusted to the light I immediately recognized our surroundings.
“I was wondering just which of my little ponies had been exploring these ancient ruins. While I appreciate the offer, this isn’t the Rainbow Falls Traders Exchange.” She floated our camping gear towards us. Having been exposed to the elements, it hadn’t aged well. “Also, the ancient tomes you raided from here are significantly more valuable so I’m afraid I can’t accept your trade.”
“But…they were just sitting here gathering dust!” Wind Whistler was indignant. “All of that knowledge squandered! Those books are treasures.”
“We agree on that last part, my little pony.” Celestia’s horn glowed with her golden aura and five orbs appeared on the dais, followed by a larger one. “I suppose you came here looking for these dirty old rocks? The Elements of Harmony?”
“We were right!” I couldn’t help myself as I rushed over to examine the stony globes. “This was the final resting place of the Elements!”
Celestia was silent for a moment, observing us all in turn. Finally, she spoke, “There’ll be an opening in the History Department of Canterlot University in the near future. You should apply. While I can’t allow just any ruffian to steal my books, I’d be remiss to refuse a history professor access to my old library.” The princess winked at me. “As long as she returns my books on time. And leaves these dirty old rocks right here. Those need to stay here.”
Before I could stammer out a reply she was gone in a flash.
“I would recommend not letting such an opportunity pass by.”
I just nodded at Wind Whistler’s words. Paradise is going to be so jealous. I looked around at the rest of my friends and blushed. “I know this is a stupid question, but who won the race?”
Everypony looked at each other. Even Danny had apparently overlooked the entire purpose of our trip once we’d been summoned by the princess.
“I guess we’ll just have to get it from the horse’s mouth.” Danny chuckled. “Surprise will happily tell us everything we missed.”
“Uh, how do we get out of here?” Molly looked around the ruins of the castle. “This place is creepy.”
“The princess isn’t the only pony who can teleport.” Galaxy motioned to her horn. “I just need to know where we’re going.”
“Back to Canterlot – I took the liberty of booking a hotel room for all of us.”
Megan looked at me. “Only one room?”
I nodded. “Ponies like to snuggle together. As a matter of fact, in traditional Equestrian hotels, that’s standard – you get your own personal attendant for the duration of your stay, including cuddling if desired.”
The three humans looked at each other.
“That’s odd.”
“It seems ripe to be abused.”
“I think it’s kind of cute.” Molly was the dissenting opinion. “What? You wouldn’t want to snuggle cute little ponies?”
“When you put it that way…” Megan trailed off. “That could be a big hit on Earth.”
“But like I said, easy to take advantage of.” Danny shook his head. “How would ponies protect themselves?”
“Protect ourselves?” I asked. “From what? Monster attacks? By not living near the Everfree Forest. I don’t know why anypony would willingly choose to live in Ponyville or Fillydelphia. I suppose their residents say the same about Canterlot being invaded every few years too. Like last year, when that penguin king showed up.”
“Oh, him.” Wind Whistler snorted. “He should’ve been here a few years earlier when Queen Bumble tried to usurp the throne. What a pair they would’ve made, the emperor penguin and the queen bee.” Wind Whistler wasn’t known for her humor, but when she wanted to be funny it was often an elaborate word play. She seemed to derive pleasure from making the rest of us groan.
Canterlot: thirty-two years, one month, and fourteen days before the portal opens
The ‘opening’ in the history department hadn’t been particularly prestigious. I was an assistant professor, which mostly meant tutoring students and grading tests. Most of my peers were in the same boat as me – they’d all caught Princess Celestia’s attention in one way or another. Everypony in the history department had been caught digging around ruins the princess thought were better left alone, though I’d been the only one brazen enough to explore the Castle of the Two Sisters.
That meant I didn’t have to worry about tenure – I’d be made a professor in due time, as soon as somepony retired. I’d keep the position until I retired… or, more pessimistically, when I was no longer useful to Princess Celestia.
I’d been working there for months and I’d been expecting the princess to drop by. She waited until I’d mostly settled in, then caught me off guard, showing up in the storage closet the school had repurposed as my ‘office’. It was cramped, which meant I had no room to bow to the princess.
“Princess Celestia!”
She dismissed the need for formalities, instead jumping right into business.
“Assistant Professor North Star, there’s no need to bow on my account. Nor is there a need to address me as ‘princess’ unless you want me to continue using your title as well?”
“No thank you, Prin… uh, Celestia.”
“I’m sure you’re quite curious as to why you were rewarded instead of punished.”
My breath caught in my throat and I merely nodded.
“You returned the books you ‘borrowed’ and I could never punish a pony for seeking knowledge. Unless it was forbidden spells or dark magic. Furthermore, you’ve made an amazing discovery. Do you realize it’s been several thousand years since we last had contact with the human world?”
“Why?”
“The usual. Power, greed, corruption. Humans were always going to war with one another and dragging my little ponies into it. Then one king got it in his head that he was going to conquer Equestria.”
“I’m sure that didn’t go how he expected it to.”
“Quite. That was before my ascension. Specifically, it was in the Discordian Era. Nopony knows what happened to him or his army, but I’m sure it was unpleasant. After that, traffic through the portal was rather one-sided. At the time ponies were fleeing Equus for Earth in droves. I couldn’t blame them for taking their chances with the warlords. My sister and I found the Elements of Harmony and petrified Discord for eternity.” She noticed my ears perked up at the mention of her sister. “Speaking of my sister, I suppose you know at least a little about Princess Luna?”
“A little. There’s not much surviving literature about her. Mostly the tale of Nightmare Moon. It’s implied from the castle name that the two of you were sisters.”
“Are sisters. Luna will return again one day.”
“‘The stars will aid her escape.’”
“Indeed. I could be persuaded to answer questions regarding my sister.” She patted her chin, pretending to be lost in thought. “Perhaps we could work out an exchange – you regale me with tales of the human world and I’ll tell you about Princess Luna.”
“What do you want to know?”
“Everything. You’ve made friends, why don’t you start by telling me about them.”
“Megan, Molly, and Daniel. Two fillies and a colt, or as they call themselves, two girls and a boy. They’re siblings.”
“They seem nice. A little terrified, perhaps, but certainly understandable considering the circumstances.”
“They weren’t the only ones who were scared witless.”
“I’m allowed to have fun periodically. Besides, fear of consequences is a good motivator to stay on the right path.” Celestia chuckled. “I daresay it worked out in the end. So what kind of world do your friends live in? What’s the geopolitical situation?”
“They live in New Jersey, which is in the United States. That’s one of the two major superpowers, the other is the Soviet Union. Most of the remaining countries are allied with one or the other.”
“How many countries, total?”
“About two hundred.”
“Interesting. I expect detailed notes on all of them. Starting with the two superpowers. Perhaps we can introduce ourselves one day. But that won’t happen until I know my little ponies are safe. We come in peace and expect the same in turn. Now, let’s talk salary.”
“I’m getting a nice check from the school.” I was positive it was way more than an ‘associate professor’ should be making.
“Indeed. Likewise, I have a new linguist on staff as well. Perhaps you know Paradise?” She winked. “But it’s not your salary I’m here to negotiate. I don’t know what your friends are doing for money, but from here on out, you’re all agents of the crown. I have positions for three pegasi and a unicorn. Know any interested ponies?”
“I’d have to ask my friends, but I’d say there’s a distinct possibility that they’d be interested.”
“It’s very fortuitous that you made friends with Galaxy. You couldn’t ask for a better mage. Effective immediately, the position of Archmage of New Jersey is available. If she’s interested, of course. With our contact having been broken off many years ago, it’s also vital that I have a historian. Somepony who can bring me up to speed on things.”
“I thought that was my job?”
“You’re the liaison. I was thinking that Wind Whistler would be perfect for this role.”
“She would be.” Now I’m jealous.
“I’d also need an explorer. Somepony willing to navigate all the dangers of a brave new world. Somepony brash.”
“Firefly.”
She nodded. “She seems well-suited for the position. That leaves perhaps the most important position of all. Making friends. From what I’ve been told, Heart Throb’s special talent involves helping ponies find their true love. If we go forward with making official contact, we’re going to need friends.”
“What if we don’t make contact?”
“If you and your friends may wish to stay behind on Earth, you may. Perhaps your human friends may desire to move here. Both of those options will always be available to you. If you trust Megan, Daniel, and Molly, then they will be welcomed to Equestria.”
After some more chitchat, Celestia left, and I found my assistant professor duties augmented by a more important role: informant. I couldn’t blame Celestia’s hesitation, and I hadn’t even mentioned things like the Cold War. Good thing Gorbachev seems committed to peace. I can’t get a good read on Reagan though…
Canterlot: twenty-four years, six months, and one day before the portal opens
Once I was promoted to professor I didn’t get to spend as much time on Earth as I used to. I absolutely treasured my summer vacations and winter breaks as a chance to catch up with my friends. It also didn’t hurt that it was a break from grading term papers.
Surprise was lucky in that regard – she had the ability to come and go from Equestria as she saw fit. As long as she attended shows, practices, and autograph sessions, the Wonderbolts really didn’t put that much demand on her time. She could train just as easily on Earth as she could in Equestria – especially once we packed the sky over the Williams farm with Equestrian clouds. Frozen in place by one of Galaxy’s spells and the combined magic of five pegasi, they prevented us from being visible from above. The farm was far enough off the beaten path that that we had plenty of warning whenever someone turned down the dirt lane leading to the house. That was our cue to hide in the clouds. Galaxy, meanwhile, would turn herself invisible.
The semester had ended and I was packing up my office for the summer so I could spend my vacation on Earth as usual. The door to my classroom opened and I heard the clop of hooves on the floor tiles. I didn’t even need to turn around to know who’d entered – Celestia’s hoofbeats were unlike any other pony in Equestria’s.
What I wasn’t prepared for was her to be sitting at one of the student desks when I turned around. it was comically undersized for her, but she sat there stoically, pretending to pay attention to a nonexistent lecture.
Without missing a beat, I said, “You’re late for class, young mare.”
“I’m sorry, professor. With all the demands of running Equestria, it slipped my mind.”
“A likely excuse. Next you’re going to tell me you had to go raise the sun.”
“Well… I’ve been known to do that periodically.”
“Thankfully. No offense to your sister, but eternal night would be awful. All the plants would die and we’d slowly starve to death. Anyway, as I’m sure you’re already aware, I’m heading to Earth in a few hours.”
“No offense taken, and as I’m sure you’ve already guessed, that’s why I’m here.”
“Of course, of course. What intel are you looking for this time?”
“Based on your notes from your last visit, these are my priorities.” She levitated a slip of paper over to me. “Of course, anything you bring me will be useful, but these are the subjects of the most interest to me.”
I scanned the list. It was fairly mundane by Celestia’s standards. A few politicians, half a dozen medical topics, hydroelectricity, and NASA’s moon landing. The last was no doubt because of Luna.
“Hoping to put ponies on the moon?”
She sighed. “It beats putting them in the moon.”
“I’d imagine so. Luna will be back in a few more years.”
“Indeed.” She walked out.
I probably shouldn’t have cracked that joke.
Woodland, New Jersey: ten years, three months, and eighteen days before the portal opens
Hasbro had rebooted the My Little Pony franchise several times after the original incarnation from the 1980s, and we had less input than we’d used to. Most of the ponies they made toys of were real thanks to friends on the design staff, but many were completely fictional.
With the announcement of yet another reboot, we figured Hasbro might cut the Williams family out of the picture entirely. Much to our surprise, they wanted to revitalize the franchise, and they’d brought in top talent to do it.
Lauren Faust came and visited the farm for a few days. She wanted to pay homage to the original ‘80s ponies that she’d grown up with. She started with Bonnie Zacherle, who in turn pointed her to the Williams family. Her jaw just about hit the floor when we stepped out to introduce ourselves. She hugged Firefly, who it turned out had been her favorite pony as a child.
She had a lot of questions.
Woodland, New Jersey: ten years, three months, and fourteen days before the portal opens
Lauren Faust had planned on visiting the Williams’ for an afternoon. It was two weeks before she left New Jersey, vowing to stay in touch with all of us.
There was a lot of back and forth throughout the portal during that time, as Galaxy and I were in near-constant communication with Celestia. The princess felt this would be a good way to introduce Equestria to mankind. There were fictional elements of course, but Celestia gave her blessing to reveal much of pony society to the world. She planned to gauge reactions to determine if contact should be made, or if we’d continue living in the shadows.
We were just about equally split on the issue. I wanted to get it over with and let the cards fall where they would. Firefly, Surprise, and Megan were all in agreement. Wind Whistler, on the other hoof, advised caution, and Heart Throb, Danny, and Molly concurred.
Despite being married, Surprise and Danny fell on different sides of the issue. Surprise liked the idea of surprising two worlds by revealing the existence of each other, while Danny felt an overwhelming desire to protect us. He had a very negative opinion of human beings.
Their relationship was proof that contact needed to be made. If I could get Danny to see that, it would break the impasse. Heart Throb and Wind Whistler would be the harder sells, while Molly would follow Heart Throb’s lead. Molly and Heart Throb’s relationship was purely platonic, but if anything they were closer than Danny and Surprise. They were two peas in a pod – both of them were completely boy crazy.
That had worked to our advantage. As Celestia had suggested, Heart Throb was an adept matchmaker. She’d made friends in high places and low places alike. She was in constant contact with her friends, and she was our biggest source of intelligence. Whether Celestia had intended on her becoming a spy or not, Heart Throb had become an expert at espionage.
Wind Whistler was our other source of information, as she spent much of her time living as a human. She’d become addicted to Earth’s technology, and she needed fingers to browse the internet. She’d experimented with making a hoof-friendly keyboard and it was ridiculously oversized. A stylus worked for her tablet and phone, but she preferred using fingers.
Like Danny, her preference for technology should’ve been a flashing neon sign saying ‘Equestria needs this too’ but she was adamant that she should serve as a horrible warning, not a good example. Double-W was always stubborn, so I figured she’d be the last to change her mind.
Heart Throb had her hoof on the pulse of human society. She’d seen and heard things that made her reluctant to open the borders between our worlds. Like Danny, she was scared of what might happen. Though that hadn’t stopped her from dating a bunch of humans. Much to Galaxy’s chagrin, since she had to keep charging the transformation spell.
Galaxy, meanwhile, abstained from voting. She admitted to being biased. She never clarified how, but if I was reading her right, she was biased in favor of revealing ourselves to the world because that would mean not needing to change us into humans all the time. I was counting on winning her over when she wouldn’t be the tiebreaking vote.
I felt confident that Lauren would make the newest My Little Pony TV series everything we’d wanted the original to be. This time around we had Celestia’s blessing and a direct line to the show’s creator.
Woodland, New Jersey: seven years, seven months, and eleven days before the portal opens
To say Friendship Is Magic was a success beyond our wildest imaginations was an understatement. What bothered us was the dismissive attitudes of some of the fans towards older works. We were quite proud of what we’d accomplished in the ‘80s.
Furthermore, executive meddling at Hasbro and Discovery had resulted in Lauren leaving the show after only the first season. She left extensive notes for the remaining team, and periodically Lauren would reach out to us when someone from DHX contacted her.
But we could no longer influence the direction of the show. Certain key events had been spelled out in advance, and there were so many notes that even ten seasons of the show wouldn’t be enough to cover everything. Most shows centered towards children were planned for sixty-five episodes, the magic number to be shown in syndication. With the show’s success, we were hoping to get five seasons, or maybe even six, but we knew that eventually Hasbro would want to reboot the franchise yet again so the toyline wouldn’t go stale. Of course, if they’d stop reissuing the same half-dozen ponies constantly, the line wouldn’t go stale. It’s Applejack, but she has extra cutie marks! It’s Rainbow Dash, but now she glows in the dark! Nobody needs seventeen Twilight Sparkles or Pinkie Pies in their herd. At least reissue our toys from back in the ‘80s.
Wind Whistler was in the midst of a flame war with someone on Tumblr who was bashing G1, as the ‘80s incarnation of the My Little Pony franchise had become known as. It was a waste of her time, energy, and talents. Is Tumblr the one with ‘tweets’ or is that Reddit? I shook my head. There’s a reason I don’t use the internet. Either I’m getting old, or I spend too much time in Equestria.
Double-W ended her post with a gif image of herself and Megan encircled by flames from the episode The Magic Coins. She never uses Lavan, Tirek, or Grogar as examples, she always has to use that episode. So predictable.
“Another brony tried to stop by today.”
I jumped. Heart Throb had snuck up on me. “Stop doing that!”
“That’s what I keep telling them.”
“No, I mean stop materializing out of thin air.”
“That would make me a rather ineffective spy, don’t you think?”
I grumbled but couldn’t argue with her. “What happened?”
“Danny invited him in and when he wanted to talk about ponies, Danny rambled on for hours about the ranch’s horses. He left after four hours, completely baffled. This isn’t going to last. Someone is going to figure out we’re real sooner or later and we need to have a plan of action for when it does.”
“I suppose we tell them a partial truth. That back in the ‘80s the Williams’ were friends with Bonnie and inspired the characters on the cartoon show. Nothing more, nothing less. Throw it back on them and ask why they’d think colorful little ponies would really exist in the real world.”
“I guess that’ll have to suffice, but I don’t like it.”
Woodland, New Jersey: four years, eight months, and sixteen days before the portal opens
“Batten down the hatches!” Firefly swooped onto the porch like Nightmare Moon herself was chasing her.
“Huh?” I looked up.
“I would advise getting everyone into the basement with haste. The National Weather Service has issued a tornado warning for our area.” She flipped her phone closed.
Firefly and I both had to resist our pegasus instincts to get up there and fight the tornado. We only had five pegasi and no unicorns – Galaxy was currently visiting Equestria, much to Wind Whistler’s chagrin. She hated browsing her phone with a stylus instead of fingers. But without Galaxy to perform the spell, Double-W was stuck as a pegasus.
“It’s bad.” Firefly pointed toward the Pine Barrens. “I saw it. It’s heading this way. We need to get to shelter. Now.”
We headed to the basement and I grabbed a transistor radio from the emergency rations kept downstairs.
“Hurricane Donald continues to track across southern New Jersey after making landfall just north of Atlantic City. Remaining residents are urged to hunker down.”
The house shook above us as a sound like a dozen passing freight trains rumbled outside. Then it was over. We waited a few minutes, then returned upstairs. Thankfully, the house was still standing. There was some minor damage upstairs – one of the windows in Molly’s bedroom had broken, and the roof had lost a quarter of its shingles. Outside, the devastation was worse. The scar in the land was apparent, indicating that the tornado had passed a few hundred yards from the house. Firefly flew off to scout the property while the rest of us surveyed the damage to the house.
Megan called their insurance company. They’d need to send a claims adjustor to visit, so we started making plans to return to Equestria to visit friends and family back home so we wouldn’t be at risk of discovery.
Firefly landed and walked up to the rest of us. “I’ve got some really bad news.” She reached into her saddlebags and pulled out a broken piece of rainbow. “The portal got hit. Weirdest thing I’ve ever seen – the trail of destruction goes right to where the portal used to be and then stops.”
“Used to be?” I stood up, looking in the direction of the portal. “I have class tomorrow. I need to be there to teach.”
“I don’t know what to tell you. The portal’s gone.”
“The rest of you realize this means we’re trapped here, right?”
Heart Throb’s words brought us all to a crashing halt. We had no way to return to Equestria, and worse yet, the only unicorn who knew the pony-to-human spell was on the other side of the portal. “Galaxy will come looking for us.” I hope.
“We have a new problem.”
I looked at Wind Whistler. “What could be worse than all this?”
“We just got found out.” She turned her phone so the rest of could see her newsfeed. It was a picture of a pair of purple pegasi I didn’t recognize. “They’re not saying where the picture was taken. It has to be close. Does anything in the background look familiar?”
“It’s mostly sky.”
“And a highway.”
“Interstate 195, maybe?” While it didn’t look familiar, it was the nearest freeway.
“Worth a try.” Megan’s car keys were in her hand before anypony could stop her. Danny and Molly ran to their cars as well. With it being overcast, we felt it was worth the risk to try flying. We gathered some of the Equestrian clouds over the ranch and disguised ourselves as best we could. An erratic cloud wouldn’t be nearly as attention grabbing as pastel ponies.
We’d all spent enough time on Earth that we could find our way back to the Williams’ farm. But ironically, only from the ground. We would need to see road signs to make our way back. It had never been safe to fly anywhere, and I was the only one of us with a mark in navigating.
We all returned home empty-handed and empty-hooved. The two pegasi were nowhere to be found.
Wind Whistler sighed. “I wish I had fingers right now. I could refute this if I had a little time to make vectors. With vectors of those ponies, I could claim the photo is doctored.”
“At least most media attention is focused on the storm.”
“Most mainstream media, Heart Throb. Alternate news outlets are running with this. Most are mocking it, but there are a few that are taking it seriously. Specifically, the ones that report on bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster.”
“No one ever believes those stories.” Firefly snorted in derision at the tabloids.
“Enough people do or they wouldn’t keep reporting them. Furthermore, the brony website Equestria Daily has picked up the story. This is going to be a major problem.”
“Can you make vectors with a stylus?”
“Not easily. But I’m going to have to.”
“Can you teach me to make vectors?” Molly asked, suddenly.
“Yes.”
We couldn’t go searching for the lost ponies again until daybreak, but at least maybe we could do something to discredit the story. It wasn’t just bronies who’d become fascinated with the news reports. Someone had anonymously posted a bounty of $100,000 for a specimen… dead or alive.
I don’t know who you ponies are, but I hope you’re safe wherever you are.
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Super busy schedule or not, I'm sure Celestia and/or Luna snuck through the portal once or twice during the pre-official-contact period to observe.
I bet Luna would look cool as a human in grey robes and an eye patch and a couple ravens. Maybe Celestia as a stereotypical hippie flower girl ( a few decades too late) who hitchhikes and offers a song with her guitar in exchange.
Puff the Magic Dragon is emphatically not about cannabis. Peter, Paul and Mary wrote it down after giving a mysterious lady a ride.
She had a jam session with Raffi at one point.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XUHsr7piZpo
Many of the slightly nonsensical Fraggle-aphorisms Jim Henson wrote, he got from meeting Celestia and Luna.
"Everything is important. Either that or nothing is. I prefer the former."
"There are no rules, and those are the rules."
"I fear I'm losing my implacable calm."
"She'll find her song, in time."
"In time for tomorrow's medley?"
"She has a long way to go, though the journey is short. The medley will not start without her."
"Did he answer my question?"
*shrugs*
"That's what I thought."
"This was supposed to be fun!"
"Ruling is rarely fun young lady! Wake up and smell the coffee."
"Oh fiddlesticks!"
"And don't swear!"
"There will be movement in the stillness, just as there is music in the silence."
"Look, I'm doing you a favor! When one creature does another creature a favor, THAT OTHER CREATURE SHOULD KEEP HER LITTLE MOUTH ZIPPERED!"
Only non pony was Katrina?
Poor Spike.
11784451
Fixed that.
Thank you!
Hah! I was certain Heart Throb would ascend and become a certain Alicorn of Love.
Not meant to be…
11785359
That would've been an interesting twist for sure! She'd fit the role well.
I think Ember’s manner of speech mirroring how the G1 ponies talked is a very nice touch.
Question. Do the readers know who the two purple pegasi are? I'll admit that it's been a while since I read the story from the beginning.
11785395
Thank you!
It's been hinted at, but never outright stated. Think back to Bifröst's chapter and a couple of ponies who got lost in a storm and didn't come back. We'll resolve this cliffhanger in the next chapter.
11807557
Thank you, this has now been fixed!