16

by AlwaysDressesInStyle

Act I: Lulu Luck

Siami Beach: eleven years, two months, and ten days ago

I trotted down the street, the clopping of my hooves making everyone else turn to look at me. Siami Beach: the only place in Equestria where the clopping of hooves was the exception, not the rule. The padded paws of Abyssinians never made a sound when they walked down the cobblestone roads. Descended from predators, stealthy cats caught more prey than those who announced their presence.

The population used to be predominantly pony, but that had changed over the past few years. Abyssinia was in turmoil, and many felines had fled their homeland for Equestria. It was to the point where felines outnumbered equines five-to-one in Siami Beach. From what I’d seen in the local newspaper, some guy calling himself the ‘Storm King’ invaded their homeland, and the ones who didn’t come here were holed up in their capital, Panthera.

Aside from being absolutely adorable, Abyssinians had invented all kinds of gadgets we didn’t have here in Equestria. Felines possessed no natural magic of their own, so they’d developed their technology to compensate, building devices that didn’t run on magical charges. I found their tech fascinating, and I had an entire corner of my room dedicated to taking their gizmos apart and attempting to put them back together. Sometimes I got it right, and other times I was left with a pile of broken parts. With age came experience: I broke far fewer devices as I got older.

I trotted into Circuit Kitty and the salescats didn’t even bat an eye. I came in at least once a week to browse, but rarely to buy. I’d been saving my allowance, and I finally had enough to get the radio I’d been eyeing for months. It was only after I'd levitated it over to the sales counter that the employees were finally surprised.

With my purchase securely floating in my aura, I stopped at Gato Bell to pick up dinner. Abyssinians were carnivores, and that meant most of the menu options contained fish. But Siami Beach was still part of Equestria, and ponies still made up a sizable minority of the population. So they offered a few token vegetarian options, and I opted for a kale roll. It was the only thing on the menu I could afford after purchasing the radio, and I spent my last bit on it.

I munched the kale roll as I took my newly purchased radio apart. I documented all the pieces and how they were supposed to go as I took it apart. I was already an expert at disassembling things, so the real test would be getting it put back together again. If I want to listen to this radio, I need to put it back together correctly. Otherwise I just wasted three months’ allowance on a radio-shaped paperweight.

Reading about how something works is great, but the only way I can really understand what makes it tick is to tear it down and rebuild it. Once I get the knack of ‘rebuilding’ I’ll move on to ‘improving’. I need to see the individual components in order to comprehend how they all come together to work as a whole. That’s why I like Abyssinian tech so much – with the magical devices favored by ponies, it’s almost impossible to reverse engineer a spell. The few times I’ve managed to unravel a spell, that was it for the device, it was kaput for good.

I snapped the case back into place, sealing the radio. I held my breath and turned it on. There was a crackle of static, then a burst of music. Success!

---

Siami Beach: nine years, one month, and twelve days ago

The sun warmed my hide as I lounged on the beach. The little timer Mom kept in the picnic basket dinged and I rolled onto my back to expose my tummy to the sun. The afternoon sun was blinding, so I slipped on a pair of sunglasses as I looked over to Mom, laying on the sand next to me. The timer had roused her from her slumber, and she too rolled onto her back to avoid burning.

I levitated the book I’d been reading over my head. My magic was finally strong enough that I could keep a book suspended for hours and manage to flip the pages without dropping it on my face. As an added bonus, it would help keep the sun out of my eyes.

Most fillies my age opted to read Daring Do or Prancy Blue mysteries, or romance novels. I made a face at that last one. My idea of fascinating reading was slightly less fictional. Schematics and enchantment diagrams were hardly the stuff little fillies dreamed about. That might be true for other little fillies, but I could get lost in them and often did.

I’d previously experimented with magical devices, though to less than stellar results. A master unicorn could keep little gears and springs running indefinitely by blending magic and technology. My record was all of sixteen seconds before they collapsed back into a pile of their component parts.

I put the book back into the picnic basket, stood up, and stretched. The afternoon sun was relentless, and many of my fellow beachgoers had taken to sheltering under umbrellas. Those were mostly the locals who, like me, spent a good bit of time at the shore. You could always tell the locals from the tourists – locals wore swimsuits, while tourists didn’t see the need to. Ponies rarely wore clothing, so why would they hamper their tanning or swimming with unnecessary garments? Because they’d never experienced getting a grain of sand stuck someplace uncomfortable. I hadn’t either, but I’d heard about it from ponies who had, and I’ve always preferred to learn from the mistakes of others.

I trotted down to the surf and let the cool waves splash against me, then joined a group of fillies and colts playing in flank-deep water. One of the colts was pretending to be a shark and the rest of us giggled as we tried to avoid being ‘eaten’ by him. When we got bored of that game, one of the fillies suggested we play a game of volleyball to dry out.

The volleyball courts were further up the beach, away from the water. That section of the beach was popular with the ever-growing Abyssinian population, and unsurprisingly we found a few kittens on the court. They didn’t have enough to start a game, so we split into groups, mixing equines and felines to make the game fairer.

The cats were taller than us, and bipedalism certainly worked in their favor to make spiking easier. Still, their paws couldn’t swat the ball with the force an equine hoof could. I bucked the ball skyward and one of the cats on our team, Catrina, leapt up and spiked it. Her aim was true and it landed right between the pair of colts guarding the back row.

Shadows fell across the volleyball court, and we all turned our attention to the sky. An entire fleet of airships was up there, and I recognized their Abyssinian design. More refugees, and lots of them. “I’m gonna go watch the dirigibles dock!” The other foals and kittens groaned, as this would put a halt to the game until they could find a replacement player. I dashed across town, eager to beat the airships to the mooring masts.

Airship engines were some of the biggest, most complex motors in existence, and I never missed an opportunity to get close to them. Every once in a while, a crew would see me watching them intently and invite me onto the ship for a tour. They’d never let me get more than a glimpse of the engines though.

I got there just in time to watch the airships dock. There wasn’t much activity visible on the decks, which was very odd. Mooring lines had already been thrown overboard, and were just dangling from the ships in the fleet. The dock’s unicorns and pegasi attached the ropes to the masts, and then all was still for a few minutes.

Finally, a lone pony trotted down the ramp. At first I thought she was an earth pony, but then I caught sight of the broken stub of what had once been a horn. I couldn’t tear my eyes away, and instinctively reached for my own horn just to assure myself it was still there.

“Can I help you?”

“Uh, I just like watching the airships come in. I don’t suppose you could give me a tour of your ship? Please?”

She glared down at me. “My crew is staying on board. We’re merely stopping for fuel. Our true destination is Canterlot.”

She was intimidating, but almost all the airships that came through here were crewed by Abyssinians. I always had a better chance of getting a tour of the ship when it was captained by a pony, so I pressed her further. “I won’t take long! You won’t even know I’m there!”

“You’re right.” She lowered her neck to look me right in the eyes. “I won’t know you’re there, because you won’t be there at all. She lowered her head further so her nub of a horn was directly in my field of vision. “Do you know how a unicorn loses her horn?”

“Uh…”

“By sticking it in places it doesn’t belong.” She stood up to her full height. Between her dark purple coat, the jet black outfit she was wearing, the scar on her face, and her broken horn, she was scary looking, especially when she stood up straight. “Didn’t your mother ever tell you not to talk to strangers? Scram, kid.”

I ran away, but as soon as her back was turned I hid behind some moorings. She’s not getting rid of me that easily. She’s hiding something, and I’m gonna find out what. My curiosity piqued, I watched her trot into the office to arrange the refueling.

Once she was out of sight, I primed my horn. The ships were low enough that I could teleport without pushing myself. With no point of reference on board the ship, my only option was to aim for the top of the ramp. I’d been up there a bunch of times, sometimes even when there were no ships moored there. I winked out of existence.

I winked out of between 1.2 seconds later, atop the mooring mast’s ramp. The airship bobbed in the breeze next to me, but all was quiet. It was somewhat unsettling. Airships were normally hubs of activity, but this one seemed like it was deserted. I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong, and I even briefly considered turning back. What if she’s a pirate captain and the real captain and crew of the vessel are being held captive? I have to help them. It was a crazy theory, but I couldn’t completely dismiss it. I examined the facts: it was an Abyssinian ship with a very suspicious pony captain who didn’t want me looking around. It was a mystery, and I intended to solve it.

I jumped onto the ship’s deck and started looking around. There was nopony to be seen. Of course, my main concern was getting down to the engine room, so I started looking for the way into the depths of the ship. I was less familiar with Abyssinian designed ships, but the layout proved to be similar to Equestrian vessels. I climbed down the stairs and my jaw dropped as I looked around the hold. Gold and precious gems surrounded me. “Whoa.” No wonder she didn’t want me on board. Where did all this treasure come from?

Engine forgotten, I instead explored the cargo hold. A golden ball of yarn? This is Abyssinian. Is the scary pony helping the Abyssinian royals evacuate, or did she loot their treasury? Either way, the Storm King would no doubt be looking for her. And she said she’s going to Canterlot? I gasped at the thought of her potentially leading the Storm King right into the heart of our nation.

I continued deeper into the hold, mesmerized by the sheer volume of treasure the ship contained. Part of me was shocked the airship could remain in the sky with this much weight holding it down. The rest of me was trying to fathom exactly how much this treasure was worth. I’m used to crunching numbers from an engineering standpoint, not an economic one, but suffice it to say there’d be a lot of zeroes involved.

Eventually I reached the end of the hold, and the engine room directly beyond. To me, it was the greatest treasure on board. All the other fillies I know would be distracted by the fortune, fantasizing about the jewelry and dresses they’d spend it on.

The ship shuddered, and my heart skipped a beat as I realized the airship had disconnected from the mooring mast and we were on our way to Canterlot. Worst of all, my magic hadn’t recharged yet from my first teleport. Clopping of hooves echoed from the hold and I realized I was trapped. The only way in or out of the engine room meant going through whoever was coming, and I had a pretty good idea it would be the unicorn I’d talked with earlier. Hide. Unlike the hold, which had mountains of gold I could sink into, the engine room was bare except for the motor I had no hope of blending into. The best I could do was hide behind the door and make a break for it when she wasn’t looking.

The scary unicorn entered the engine room and examined the engine. She fiddled with the controls, and it roared to life. I’d never been so close to a running airship engine before. It was louder than I expected. Loud enough to mask the clopping of hooves. Even though I desired nothing more in the world than to watch that beautiful engine run, I realized if I was ever going to escape, it was now or never. With the engine running, she had little reason to stay in the engine room. I slipped around the door into the ship’s hold, scanning the piles of coins and golden trinkets for a hiding place.

“You.”

Discovered, I galloped for all I was worth, but the scarred pony had longer legs and was gaining on me. I charged my horn to teleport. I closed my eyes and pictured the ramp on the mooring mast, and hoped it wasn’t too far away yet. But before I could release the spell I smacked into something. I bounced off and landed on my back.

“Oh ho ho, what do we have here?” Something picked me up by the tail. “Aren’t you just the cutest, most adorable thing ever? Tempest, babe, why didn’t you tell me that baby unicorns are totes adorbs?”

“Because I didn’t think you liked cute or adorable things, sir.”

“You’re right, I don’t!” He dangled me in front of his eyes and I got an upside down look at what had to be the Storm King I’d read so much about. “Are there any baby unicorns on the manifest?”

“Uh, no sir.”

“So she’s a stowaway? That presents a problem, since my normal policy on stowaways is to toss them overboard. But she’s just a child, and even I’m not that evil. I mean, there are just certain things I don’t do to children. I don’t throw them in Tartarus, or seal them up in statues, and I most assuredly don’t go tossing them off airships to their doom…” He laughed, yet there was nothing at all reassuring about his mirth. He threw me towards Tempest. “So Tempest, you do it.”

Her broken horn sparked, but her magic was strong enough to catch me. “But sir, she doesn’t even have her cutie mark yet. She’s just a blank flank filly.”

“A cutesy what now?”

“It’s a symbol that appears on a pony’s flanks when they discover their special talent.”

“Is that all?” He yelled up the stairs. “Hey Stanley!”

Seconds later a big monster entered the cabin. The two of them grunted and the giant yeti-thing turned his attention to me. I backed away as he walked towards me, but eventually I bumped up against the cabin’s wall.

“Stanley here is an absolute expert tattoo artist.” The Storm King showed off a few tattoos. “So anyways, give the little pony a tattoo on her butt. Whatever she wants.”

“That’s not exactly how cutie marks work…” I started, but he silenced me with a glare.

“I’d hate for you to never get a cutie mark.” He made air quotes over the words ‘cutie mark’. “It’s only fair to give the condemned a last request, and Tempest over there thinks this is what you want.”

My eyes widened to the size of saucers as Stanley pulled out the needles. “Nope. No thanks.”

“Your loss, kid. What do you want instead? Ice cream maybe?”

“How about you don’t throw me overboard?”

“I should’ve seen that one coming. All right, you sure you want to waste your last request that way?”

I nodded.

“All right, Tempest, you heard the kid. No throwing her overboard. Push her off the railing instead.” He snickered and I groaned.

“I’m not sure I can do this, sir.”

“Don’t you want that horn of yours back?”

“Of…of course I do, sir. It’s just… I’m a pony. Ponies don’t do things like this.”

The Storm King laughed. “You’re a pony? That’s a good one. Fizzlepop Berrytwist was a pony. But you, Tempest Shadow, are a soldier. Unless, of course, you’d like to be a pony.” He pulled a book out of his cloak. “Is that covered under my inclusiveness policy? Let’s see: gender, religious beliefs, orientation, species, personal identification. Okay, so yeah, you can identify as a pony, or a tree, or even a minotaur if you want to. But you’re still a soldier. And your superior just gave you an order. Pony or not, are you going to be a good soldier and obey that order, or are you going to be the next in a long line of ex-commanders? Because if she doesn’t go over the railing, I’m promoting her to commander and tossing you overboard instead.”

“I…I… I understand, sir. Consider it done.”

“Good, good. Oh, and Tempest.”

“Yes sir?”

“Don’t ever question one of my orders ever again.” He turned away from us at that point.

“Yes, sir.”

He left, without even turning around to acknowledge her salute. I stared at her, but she didn’t even so much as glance at me.

“Let’s just get this over with. Do you remember a few hours ago, when I told you not to stick your horn where it doesn’t belong? Now you know why: I was trying to protect you.” She placed me on the railing, and clamped a hoof on my tail so I couldn’t try to escape. “It’s a long way down, kid. Can you teleport, or levitate?”

I shook my head. She didn’t need to know I could do the first. She’d only come looking for me.

She sighed. “It would make this easier if I knew you could escape somehow. I don’t want to do this. If I hadn’t been so stupid and expected him to grant you mercy, maybe I could’ve hidden you in my cabin for a few days until we got to Canterlot. But now this is a test, and if I don’t go through with it, he’ll have us both executed.” There were tears in her eyes. “He’s watching us. Any last words?”

“Monster!”

“I deserve that. Goodbye, kiddo.” I screamed as she pushed me off the railing. I primed my horn to teleport, but landed before I could. I blinked. Falling a mile should’ve taken longer and hurt more. Tempest just grinned down at me and winked.

I scrambled to my hooves and looked around me – I’d landed on a wing. At the speed we were cruising, the wind wouldn’t be enough to blow me overboard unless we encountered a storm. I’d be more in danger if someone looked over the railing and spotted me.

I was safe… for now. But I had no intention of riding on a wing and hoping to make it to the destination in one piece. I had two options: I could teleport to the ground, a mile below, or home if I really wanted to push my magic. A mile was more than I could safely go, and home was a good bit behind us already. I might not ever make it out of between if I tried to go that far. Or I could teleport into the engine room and sabotage the ship. Teleporting on a moving vehicle meant factoring in speed. Sure, I was on the airship, but there’d be 1.2 seconds from the time I popped out of existence and back into it. 1.2 seconds the ship would still be moving.

They’re trying to invade Equestria, and I’m the only pony who knows they’re coming. My odds of living through this are slim even if I just stay here, out of sight. But I could eliminate one of the biggest threats we’ve ever seen before he even makes it to Canterlot. I have to. I can’t let him get away with this. Even… I gulped. Even if I don’t make it.

I created a little globe of light and released it. 1.2 seconds later I made a note of exactly how far it was away from me. I closed my eyes, visualizing the depths of the ship I’d explored earlier, trying to pinpoint where in relation to my current position the engine room was. Once I had a good visual of the ship, I teleported to where I hoped it would be 1.2 seconds later. The alternative was… a long fall and a quick but painful death.

1.2 seconds later I reemerged in the engine room.

“You certainly took your time.”

I froze. This is bad. I don’t have enough magic left to do another teleport so soon after another. My heart started beating again when Tempest answered him. They were walking on the deck above me.

“Sorry, sir. I was just… soothing her nerves. Telling her I wouldn’t do it. Telling her I couldn’t do it. And then, right when she looked up at me with hope in her eyes… over she went.”

“Oooooh, nasty! Here I thought you’d enjoy breaking her horn off.”

“Nopony should have to go through that. That’s… unnecessarily cruel. She was just a kid.”

“You should totes do that to the princesses once we get to Camelot.”

“It’s Canterlot. Camel-lot is in the desert near Saddle Arabia.”

“Canterlot? Saddle Arabia?” He slapped his forehead. “You ponies and your horse puns. Anyway, nice work out there. For a minute there I didn’t think you’d do it.”

“I… I didn’t want to.”

“You’re a soldier, Tempest my dear. There are lots of orders you’re going to hate obeying. I had to test your loyalty. But look on the bright side. If you could do that, it means you won’t choke when it comes time to face enemy soldiers and the princesses. This is war, Tempest. There are casualties in war.”

Once they’d moved out of earshot I trotted to the engine and finally took the time to examine it in all its glory. A pang of regret washed over me for what I had to do. This glorious motor was built by someone, probably over the course of weeks or even months, but it’d only take me a few seconds to destroy it. I said a silent apology to the unknown creatures who’d designed and built this work of art.

It may have been huge, but it was still an engine. It still had all the parts and pieces I expected to be there; they were just far bigger than the ones I was used to. I grabbed hold with my magic and pulled the fuel lines. Diesel spewed from the severed connection, and I doused the engine with it. When the heat of the engine wasn’t enough to start the spilled diesel on fire, I shot a few sparks from my horn to do the trick. And then I galloped away from the motor and toward the cargo hold.

Moments later Tempest came to see what the problem was. “Sweet Celestia.” She climbed back up to the deck and I could hear her ordering the crew to abandon ship.

I did it! I stopped their invasion! My inner celebrations were short-lived. I felt the ship shudder as another airship pulled alongside. Surprisingly, they hadn’t even bothered to scoop up any of the gold or precious gems in the hold.

Perhaps that wasn’t overly surprising. Acrid smoke stung my eyes as I climbed out of the hold, but I could still make out the retreating ships in the distance. I guess that makes me the captain of this vessel, now. With the fire raging out of control below me, I took the wheel. I scanned the horizon looking for potential landing spots. I was coming up on a city, and the last thing I wanted to do was crash into a populated zone. The city had been built near a lake, so I steered the burning airship towards the body of water. But I still had too much altitude. Searching the deck, I eventually found a harpoon, which I shot into the gasbag.

That did the trick, perhaps a little too well. The ship started dropping faster than I wanted it to. I still had to clear a forest before reaching the lake, and the rough calculations I ran through my head said I wasn’t going to make it. Weight. I ran around the deck, dropping the sandbags and throwing anything else I could overboard to lighten the load as much as possible. By then the blaze had reached the rudder, and I lost the ability to steer. All I could do was hope for the best as the ship careened out of control.

By some miracle the ship cleared the trees and started its final descent into the lake. I took the opportunity to teleport away, making the short hop to the beach below. I watched, awestruck, as the airship impacted the waves and came to rest on the lakebed, half sticking out of the water. Steam poured from the wreckage as the blaze was extinguished by the lake.

It was only then as I lifted my head to see the city on the opposite shore that I realized just how deceptively big the body of water truly was. From the ground, the city wasn’t visible in the distance. I sighed and started trotting around the lake.

By nightfall, every muscle in my body was screaming for mercy. My brain urged me forward, reminding me that every second I dallied was a second the Storm King’s forces got closer to Canterlot. My body, however, reminded my brain that I was still only a filly, and not a particularly physically fit one. The light from my horn was a beacon in the dark to any predators that might be lurking in the woods, and so I conceded defeat and shimmied up the first fruit-bearing tree I found.

Coming across a pony in a tree is a rare sight, mostly because climbing a tree trunk with hooves is difficult. It’s easier with magic, and a little ingenuity. I weaved some vines together until I was satisfied they could hold my weight, and tossed the makeshift rope across a sturdy branch, securing it around the trunk of a sturdy nearby pine. Then I tied the other end around my barrel and started climbing. Once I was securely on a branch I levitated some of the tree’s fruit over for a late dinner. Oranges, or so I thought. I bit into it, only to realize it was something entirely different. Really sweet. Same size, shape, and color as an orange... Mirabelle plums? There’s only one place in Equestria those grow: the Prench Quarter of New Horseleans. I guess some have made it out into the wilds too.

Realization dawned on me. That giant lake I was circumnavigating was Lake Ponychartrain. I groaned. It’s funny how random things I’d learned in school eventually turned out to be relevant. Like, for example, Lake Ponychartrain’s dimensions: forty miles wide and more than twenty miles across. Six months ago, sitting in Mrs. Spinning Globe’s class, I never envisioned I’d need to trek around the whole lake.

---

New Horseleans: nine years, one month, and ten days ago

It had taken me two days to trudge the whole way to town, and by then I was already too late. The newspapers all had the Storm King’s picture prominently featured on the front page. He succeeded. I failed. Canterlot was conquered and the princesses had been turned to stone. It did my heart good to see the Equestrian flag was still flying in front of the town hall. He may have taken Canterlot, but he hasn’t taken Equestria.

I turned to look at my flank. My cutie mark was still an unfamiliar, not to mention unwelcome, sight. I’d acquired it sometime over the course of my long walk to New Horseleans, and I suppose it was only fitting that it was a pair of intertwined horseshoes. My special talent is walking. It’s bad enough I’m the last pony in my class to get my mark, but a mark this lame only makes it worse. Oh well, at least most of my class is made up of Abyssinians who won’t know the difference.

I’m hundreds of miles from home, I have no money, and my parents are probably worried sick about me. I wandered into a park and sat on one of the benches. It felt nice to give my legs a rest after days of walking. The sun was shining, the temperature was perfect, and I let myself relax to the sound of birdsong. No panicking. Panicking doesn’t solve anything. I want to be an engineer. Engineers solve problems. Come on, Lulu, solve this problem.

I’d spent a lot of time thinking over the past few days, most of it about what I was going to say to the Royal Guards to convince them I was telling the truth about the imminent invasion. I could, theoretically, still go to the guards and explain what happened. For proof, they’d need only look in the lake for the flagship jutting out of the water. In theory, they’d probably help me get home.

I could walk back the way I’d just come, swim out to the wreckage, and grab some gold from the hold. But that would be stealing. That treasure rightfully belongs to the Abyssinians. Besides, do I really want to spend another two days walking there, and another two days walking back? No!

Conversely, I could sell my story to the press and use the bits I earned to buy a train ticket home. I’m going to be in so much trouble as is, there’s no sense showing up on my doorstep with a Royal Guard escort. Mind made up, I trotted into the Times-Picayune’s office.

“I’m sorry, sweetie, but we’re not looking for any paperfillies at the moment.”

“Actually, I’m here with an exclusive scoop.”

“Oh. Somepony will be with you shortly.”

I took a seat and waited. And waited, and waited some more. Forty minutes later a light orange filly barely older than me approached. “Hi, I’m Thousand Words. I hear you have a story?”

I nodded. “Aren’t you a little young to be working for the paper?”

She sighed. “I’m an intern. They normally give me the crackpot conspiracy theorists and Bighoof sightings. Anypony they don’t take seriously or don’t want to be bothered with. But you don’t look like a conspiracy theorist or a cryptozoologist.” Her tail wagged. “So maybe you’re going to be the big break my career needs to be taken seriously?” She smiled.

I chuckled. “I certainly hope so. Let’s go for a walk. I can prove some of my story, so if you’ve got a camera, you might want to bring it.”

She opened her saddlebag to show off the photography equipment inside. “Let’s go.” She was full of excitement and a burning passion to prove herself. Once I got a look at her flank, I could see her cutie mark was a camera identical to the one in her saddlebag.

I led her to the waterfront. Much as the situation had been on the other side, the far shore wasn’t visible, nor was the shipwreck. “Two days ago an airship crashed into this lake. I was on it.”

She looked at the lake and then to me. “I don’t have a boat.”

“But you’ve got a zoom lens.”

She quickly attached it to her camera and started scanning the lake for signs of wreckage. I was starting to lose hope that she’d spot it when she lowered the camera. “Is that one of the Storm King’s vessels?”

“His flagship. I took it down personally.”

She looked at me incredulously. I could see the hope in her eyes that I could give her a story worth printing.

“So, think you can wrangle us up a boat?”

She nodded absently, and I followed her down to a pier. She only had a few bits in her saddlebag, but managed to convince somepony to rent her a dingy old motorboat. It was better than nothing, and I recounted my story to her as we sailed out to the wreckage.

The now completely deflated gasbag hampered our efforts to get aboard the broken ship, so Thousand Words had to take my word that the riches of the Abyssinians lay in the hold. We circled the ship, the charred rudder confirming that part of my story.

“How did you get off?”

“Like this.” I closed my eyes and charged up my horn. Seconds later I was on the shore. I waved to Thousand Words, and she brought the boat to shore.

She continued to pepper me with questions. I finally broke in with one of my own. “What I don’t understand is how nopony saw the crash. I’d expect a lake this size to be filled with boats.”

Thousand Words laughed. “We were in the middle of Party Gras. The whole city comes to a crashing halt for a week while we celebrate the end of winter with feasts and parades.” She scowled. “Normally, it would still be going on for another two days, but we ended things early because of the Storm King. It’s hard to party when your country’s being invaded. The fact that you took down one of his ships outside town? A lot of ponies here are going to consider that payback for him ruining Party Gras. He may have subjugated Canterlot, but he riled us up. If he comes here we’ll fight him to the last pony. I heard from an anonymous source that the fireworks the city was planning to shoot off to end Party Gras have been repurposed as anti-airship weapons. He’s not taking New Horseleans.”

I whistled. “I guess a sneak attack only works once.”

She nodded. “I’m sure other towns and cities are making their own preparations, though we’ve heard nothing about any other towns being invaded. His troops seem content with just holding Canterlot.”

“From what I saw of him, I take him to be a glorified pirate. He’s more interested in looting than actually ruling anything personally. He’s probably in the process of plundering the vaults of Canterlot Castle, and when he’s done, he’ll be off to conquer another country.”

She scribbled that down in her notebook. “How did you make it to town?”

“I walked. All the way around the lake.”

“Through the swamp?!?”

I nodded. “It took me two days. The ground was soft in a lot of spots and the forest was thick where the ground was solid, so I couldn’t gallop. I wish I’d managed to make it to town sooner. We could’ve warned Canterlot of the impending invasion. They could’ve been ready for him.”

“We’ll beat him yet.”

I grinned. “Yes, we will!”

“I guess there’s one last thing. Uh, this is embarrassing, but I didn’t catch your name.”

“Lu…” I stopped. “I’d rather not have it published. The Storm King thinks I’m dead, and I’d prefer he not find out otherwise.”

“The paper won’t publish anonymous accounts. Somepony has to take responsibility, you know, just in case it turns out the account was false. You understand our transparency, of course. Think of it this way: you’ll be a local hero.”

I sighed. I needed the money to get home. I’d just have to deal with the consequences if the Storm King showed up. “Lulu Luck. From Siami Beach.”

“Oh wow, you’re a long way from home.”

“I noticed. That’s why I’m selling my story – for train fare home.”

Thousand Words looked at me. “If it’s true, your story’s worth more than that. How’s fifty bits sound?” I was in no position to barter, so I just nodded my consent. “I don’t have that much to give you, though. First I have to get the Royal Guards out here to confirm you’re telling the truth, then I have to write the story, and then I’ve got to convince the paper to pay me for the story. Then I can pay you for the story.”

I sighed. “What am I supposed to do in the meantime? My parents are probably worried sick right now. You can keep the rest of the payment; I just want enough bits to go home.”

She looked to the sky, and then to me. “It’s already getting late. By the time we get to shore it’ll be too dark to get the guards out here today. Besides, the last trains have already run for the day anyway. You can stay at my place tonight. We’ll just tell my parents it’s a sleepover.”

“After two nights of sleeping in trees, it would be nice to sleep in a bed. All right, sleepover it is.”

---

Siami Beach: nine years, one month, and eight days ago

The train pulled up to the station and I disembarked. It was no airship, but at least the engineer had let me study the locomotive for a while at one of the longer stops. I had no luggage to claim, and instead I trotted for home.

I passed a paper stand, and the lead headline was, Storm King Offers Bounty for the Capture of Twilight Sparkle. So he didn’t get all the princesses after all. There was still hope.

I pushed open the front door. “Hi Mom! Hi Dad! I’m home!” My parents looked at me like they’d seen a ghost.

First came the hugs and tears of joy. Then came the explanation. Last came the punishment. I really don’t think they can get away with grounding me forever, but I’ll chalk it up to them being scared.

---

Siami Beach: nine years, one month, and two days ago

The mail came, and with it a package from New Horseleans. When she’d seen the treasure was exactly how I’d described it, Thousand Words paid for my train ticket home out of her own money. I opened the package to find fifty bits and a dozen copies of the paper with my story as the lead headline. She didn’t even deduct the train fare from my payment.

There was a letter included, so I opened that first, not even bothering to check the story. I’d lived it once; I could relive it later.

Dear Lulu Luck,

I hope this message finds you well, and not in too much trouble with your parents. Enclosed please find your payment in full, as well twelve copies of the paper for your records. I can’t thank you enough. I got my first byline! They even called me a reporter, not an intern! The other ponies in the office are actually treating me with respect now. They’re still giving me all the crackpot leads since I’m the youngest on the staff, but I’m also getting some credible leads now too.

I know you’re still beating yourself up for failing to stop the invasion, but you did what you could. You did more than any other pony, including the princesses. Don’t dismiss it as just being in the wrong place at the wrong time. You were there for a reason, and that reason is you’re a hero, pure and simple.

So many other ponies would’ve seen there was something amiss and ignored it. But you didn’t. You charged in and even when you were in over your head, you didn’t let it get you down. You were willing to sacrifice everything to make the world better for the rest of us. That, my friend, is the mark of a true hero.

Please stay in touch!

Your friend,
Thousand Words

I waited until my parents got home, then let them read the article. Dad read it aloud, and both my parents were moved to tears. Thousand Words was an amazing wordsmith, elegant yet filled with a passion not yet dulled by years of desensitization to the stories she was reporting on. She’d likely be running that newspaper in another decade or so.

The newspaper calling me a hero certainly helped to reduce my punishment from permanently grounded to the much more reasonable time served.

---

Siami Beach: eight years, seven months, and sixteen days ago

With my fifteen minutes of fame over, I’d fallen back into the same routines as usual. The Storm King had been dealt with by Twilight Sparkle and her friends, real heroes, and life had gone on. I was still tinkering with anything I could take apart, and finally getting relatively good at putting it all back together again.

I certainly wasn’t expecting a package to arrive from Abyssinia. At first I thought I was being pranked by one of my feline classmates, since the return address was the Abyssinian palace. I opened the box carefully, not knowing what to expect. A coronet and hundreds of gold coins were certainly nowhere near the top of the list. There was also a letter, but it was written entirely in Felidae.

I put the letter in my saddlebag and headed to the beach. I found Catrina, as usual, by the volleyball courts. She was sunning herself on a lounge chair, waiting for there to be enough players for a game. “Slow day?”

She rolled onto her back and stretched. “Very. What’s up?”

“Do you know Felidae?”

She laughed. “Of course. Even if we primarily speak Equestrian, most of us know our native language.”

I hoofed her the letter, and she took it in her paws. Her jaw dropped as she looked at it. “That’s the royal seal!” Her eyes zipped back and forth as she scanned the letter, growing wider with each word she read. “Congratulations.”

“On what?”

“You’re the new Baroness of Calico.”

“What?”

“In summary, this letter grants you honorary Abyssinian citizenship and bestows upon you a title. You’ve also been rewarded with gold and a coronet signifying your rank, and if you present this letter to any Abyssinian airship, it will grant you free passage to the kingdom. What the hay?”

“Uh, it’s a long story. I have a newspaper article at home if you want to read it.”

She stood up. It was the fastest I’d ever seen her move off the volleyball court. “I’m a cat. Consider my curiosity sufficiently piqued.”

I led the way to my house and hoofed her one of the copies of the Times-Picayune. She read through the article and stared at me. “You did all that?”

I nodded.

She clapped me on the back. “Wow, girl, that’s outstanding! You’re a hero! This happened months ago! Why am I only finding out about this now?”

“I didn’t think it was important.”

“Didn’t think it was important? You helped bring down the Storm King and were responsible for the safe return of our treasures. I think I speak for all felines when I say we consider that pretty important.”

I shrugged. “It doesn’t change who I am. I like going to the beach and playing volleyball with you, and I love taking apart gadgets and putting them back together. I’m no superhero, just an ordinary filly.”

“An ordinary filly who’s done some extraordinary things!”

“Can we not mention this to anyone else. Please?”

She looked at me as if I’d just sprouted wings. “But… All right, fine. I won’t say a word to anyone.”

“Thanks.” I hugged her. “This is… a lot to take in. Maybe I’ll make an announcement after it all sinks in.”

She nodded. “That’s understandable.”

She bowed to me and left. Felines are by nature very flashy. Like a pet cat who brings home a mouse to prove what a good hunter he is, Abyssinians like to show off. She doesn’t grasp that I don’t like attention.

But I do want to go to Abyssinia.

---

Panthera: three years, five months, and twenty days ago

Learning a new language is easiest when you’re surrounded by native speakers. Catrina had helped me learn Felidae, and she’d joined me for a journey to her home country. True to the letter’s word, presenting it to an airship captain had indeed resulted in free transit for Catrina and I. At least after we’d convinced him of its authenticity.

After nearly a week of travel, much of which was spent in the engine room, Abyssinia was finally in sight. Catrina dragged me up on the deck, and the view took my breath away. From sandy beaches to rolling mountains, Abyssinia was beautiful. As we traveled inland, the sandy beaches gave way to picturesque vineyards, sprawling orchards, and alpine villages. Cats were fishing from boats on the crystal clear lakes, and great herds of elephants roamed the prairies.

As we approached Panthera, I was captivated by Abyssinia’s unique architecture. Ledges and platforms decorated the structures, providing ample places for felines to lounge in the sun or exercise by jumping from one level to another. It had been just five years since the Storm King’s invasion, yet no traces of the devastation he wrought remained. New structures were under construction throughout the city as the former refugees returned to their homeland. Siami Beach’s population had halved in the same time, leaving entire neighborhoods vacant as the exodus of felines continued. Catrina’s probably not joining me on the trip home.

We approached the mooring masts and I bounced up and down in excitement. Catrina looked at me funny. “What?”

“You’re dancing.”

“I’m excited. I’ve never been on an airship when it’s docking. I’ve watched hundreds of airships dock, but the only time I was ever on an airship I teleported off prior to the crash…”

“Ah. Yeah, it’s nothing exciting. The ship rocks a bit, and then it stops.”

I turned to the ship’s crew. “Can I throw the rope overboard? Please?”

They looked at me in confusion, but eventually one of them nodded his head. “Sure.”

I grinned and grabbed the rope in my aura, sending it over the railing and into the paws of the felines waiting down below.

Docking was just as mundane as Catrina had indicated it would be, but I didn’t care. I’d finally gotten to help land an airship that wasn’t crashing. We’d touched down at the royal palace, and the ship stayed docked only long enough for Catrina and I to disembark.

We were greeted at the palace by the queen herself. We bowed to her, and she led the way inside and gave us a tour of the palace. “We’re honored to have you here, Lulu Luck. As you can imagine, there’s much interest in the pony who returned our treasure.”

I blushed. “I did what anypony else would’ve done. Technically the Royal Guards returned it. I just let them know where it was and who it belonged to.”

The queen nodded. “Yes, but our records indicate you were but a kitten at the time. Or rather the pony equivalent of kitten.”

“Filly.”

“Yes, filly. It was you who saved the treasure from the Storm King. We’ve heard the full story. Modesty aside, you’re a hero. Abyssinia doesn’t grant titles often, or without cause, and it’s unprecedented to be granted to a foreigner who’s never set paw…um, hoof on Abyssinian soil. You’ve earned your reward, Lulu Luck, Baroness of Calico, and we’re most grateful for your actions. There will be a parade this weekend. Floats, giant inflatable cartoon characters, ticker tape, the works. For the duration of your stay, you shall be a guest of the Royal House of Heathcliff.”

“I was hoping to study here for a few years.”

“We’d be honored to have you for as long as you wish to stay. Should you desire to move here permanently, accommodations shall be arranged. I shall leave you in the capable hooves of our head of security. I believe the two of you are already acquainted.”

“Long time, no see.”

I turned around, and much to my surprise Tempest Shadow was there. “You!” I slammed my hoof into her face without thinking.

To her credit, she stayed standing. “Normally I would’ve blocked that, but I had that one coming.” She rubbed her jaw with a hoof, but made no move to retaliate. “I’m impressed, kid. That probably would’ve leveled most ponies.”

“I’ve taken some self-defense classes since we last met, Tempest.” I eyed her warily, keeping myself between her and Catrina.

“Call me Fizzlepop. I don’t like going by ‘Tempest’ any more. It brings back …unpleasant… memories.”

“How in the wide, wide world of Equus are you head of Abyssinian security?”

“Who better to prepare this kingdom to repel future invasions than an experienced invader? I didn’t get involved with the Storm King until after his invasion of Abyssinia, though I offered my services here as restitution for all the damage he did regardless. I was responsible for much of the damage in Equestria, and while many ponies back home have forgiven me, I’ve not forgiven myself. I spent months helping clean things up before I left, including an airship that crashed into Lake Ponychartrain. I don’t suppose you know anything about that?”

I nodded.

“Did you know New Horseleans has dedicated a statue of you in the town square?”

I nodded once again, while Catrina looked at me dumbfounded. I hadn’t mentioned it to anyone, not even my parents, but Thousand Words had written to let me know about it, enclosing the article she’d penned for the occasion, not to mention half a dozen pictures of the statue from different angles. “They made my flank too big.”

Fizzlepop Berrytwist almost cracked a grin at that. There was a slight twitch of her lip muscles when she lost control of the stoic façade for a fraction of a second. So her face isn’t frozen that way. Good to know.

“To be fair, the statue is larger than life. About three times larger than you, if I had to guess.”

“And my flank’s five times too big.”

“There were scant few pictures of you to work from. Your reporter friend didn’t take pictures of your rear.”

Realization dawned on me. “You helped them make the statue?”

She nodded. “Least I could do, really, considering I left you for dead. I’d hoped you could stay there on the wing the whole way to Canterlot. I would’ve snuck you food at night.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“It was you or me. What would you have had me do?”

“I’ve thought about that for years. The only thing I’ve come up with is that you should have bucked him right off the ship. He had no magic and no wings. If he went overboard, that would’ve been it for him. You could’ve stopped the invasion then and there.”

“We would’ve been trapped on an airship filled with loyal soldiers of the Storm King.”

“All of whom abandoned him after his sudden death in Canterlot. They would’ve followed you.”

“Perhaps. Though I really didn’t wish to kill anyone. Certainly not you, and not even him.”

I nodded. “I understand. I feel the same way. Had the situation been reversed, I’m not sure I would’ve done anything differently. Doesn’t stop me from being bitter about it.”

She shrugged. “That’s your prerogative. But I do wish to make amends, if you’ll let me.”

“Will you let me call you Fizzy?”

She groaned. “Nopony’s called me that since I was a filly.”

“Goes against that whole dark and brooding image you’ve got going on, doesn’t it, Fizzy?”

She sighed. “Fine. I find your terms acceptable. Friends?” She raised a hoof to bump.

“Friends.” I bumped her offered hoof.

She visibly relaxed. “Good, because I’m supposed to be your escort while you’re here. Equestrians are in short supply around these parts.”

“How short?”

“The Abyssinian pony population doubled roughly two hours ago, coincidentally at exactly the same time you got off the airship.”

Catrina cracked up at that. “Abyssinians are carnivores. Most ponies get nervous around large groups of cats. You’ve seen that firsthoof in Siami.”

I nodded. “The pony population declined when the feline population boomed.”

“When you say it like that, you make it sound like we started eating you guys, instead of a mass equine exodus to Baytona Beach and other points north.”

I chuckled. “So if you were going to eat a pony, would you use catsup?”

Catrina groaned. “First of all, that was a horrible pun. Secondly, most cats hate ketchup because it’s too sweet. Third of all, Fizzlepop, feel free to throw her off another airship.”

“Last time I tried that, she destroyed the airship. Airships are expensive and I’m in charge of Abyssinia’s fleet.”

“Hey Fizzy, are there any good stores around here for Abyssinian electronic gizmos?”

She nodded. “Dr. Claw’s Gadgets is only a few blocks from the palace. Follow me.”

---

Siami Beach: sixteen days ago

It felt nice to be home again, even if it was only temporary. My parents were happy to see me after more than three years spent in Abyssinia. They were less enthused to hear that once I left it would be another five years before they’d see me again.

I’d stopped in New Horseleans on the way home to catch up with Thousand Words, and to finally see the statue of me in person. She insisted on getting photos of me with the statue.

It was one of those photos that was on the front page of the latest paper that she’d mailed to me. The headline read, Local Hero’s Newest Adventure!

This should be good. There was no doubt that Thousand Words was a master of the written word. She’d built her career on my adventure, and her periodic articles about my life in the years since had always proven to be popular with her paper’s readers. But this was the first time I’d been on the front page since that first article about me taking down the Storm King’s airship.

As always, there was a letter enclosed, and I skipped the article praising my exploits in favor of seeing what my friend had to say about it. The article would be hyperbole; friend or not, Thousand Words was a journalist first and foremost.

Dear Lulu Luck,

It was great seeing you again! I hate that you had to leave so soon. There will always be a place for you in New Horseleans. If you ever get tired of traveling the world, New Horseleans would welcome you with open hooves. Seriously, if you announced a candidacy for mayor you’d win. You wouldn’t even need to campaign. You’re our hometown hero, even if you don’t actually live here. Maybe that’s for the best, you know what they say about never meeting your heroes. By staying away you’ll always stay a beloved legend here.

I know this has always seemed strange to you, but that’s because you don’t live here. Party Gras is serious business to the natives. As a town we work hard for fifty-one weeks of the year, and we take our collective weeklong break just as seriously as our respective jobs. We were powerless to do anything about the Storm King’s invasion. New Horseleans wasn’t even on his agenda, we know that now, but we couldn’t have known it then. It wouldn’t have mattered anyway; we couldn’t have kept partying while our fellow Equestrians were wearing chains in a burning city.

You took one of our darkest days as a country and gave us hope. You gave us the payback on the Storm King that we so desperately wanted. Most importantly, you gave us something to be proud of. …And a new tourist attraction.

The downed flagship is now a museum. Dedicated to you, of course. Your parents should still have the copies of the paper I sent when it opened. Many apologies, but at the time I didn’t have your temporary address in Panthera. Besides, we both know that your parents appreciate these articles far more than you do.

I know that you hate the limelight. That’s why I didn’t mention it when you were here last week. I suppose that’s probably why you stay away. If you lived here, you’d never be able to trot down the street here without attracting attention.

So when you told me you were going to Earth, I had to write about it. It’s the latest in a series of adventures – the brave filly who battled the Storm King is off to brave a new world entirely. I’ve enclosed a photo of the dozen ponies from New Horseleans planning on going to Earth. As you can imagine that was a big story itself, and maybe you’ll run into some of these young mares in your travels.

So many ponies have told me I live an interesting life, yet I’d say yours is far more intriguing. We’re the same age and you’ve already seen and done so much more than I ever will. We both know that without you, I’d probably still be a lowly intern, struggling to get a decent scoop. I owe you so much, and it’s infuriating sometimes that you’re so humble. I write these articles about you knowing that you’d really prefer I not do so. It makes me feel like such a bad friend, but somepony needs to toot your horn for you. I’ll continue to do so as long as there’s still a single pony left who’ll listen.

I know it’ll be years until we see each other again, but please stay in touch. If I can use my journalist credentials to take vacation on Earth, you better believe I’ll come visit you!

Your friend,
Thousand Words

P.S. This time our staff photographer made sure to get some pictures of your hindquarters. I’ve already started a fundraising campaign to fix your statue.

I blushed as I read the postscript. For the first time, I was actually glad I’d be gone for five years. I’m not sure I can show my face around New Horseleans again after this. Or my rump, for that matter.

---

Ponyville: yesterday

The initial rush of ponies moving to Earth and of humans moving to Equus had died down somewhat. The first few months had been busy, but now the portal was primarily being used to exchange goods instead of beings.

I had to check out the portal. I knew they wouldn’t let me experiment on it, but I wanted to get readings to research ways to duplicate it. I’m not keen on the 5-year rule, and I’d really like to come up with a way I can come and go as I please instead of committing myself for five whole years. Better yet if I can choose where I come out on the other side, instead of always having to cross through at a fixed location. So many things can happen in five years. Obviously, I want to keep in touch with my family, but I also want to keep abreast of new Abyssinian inventions and new Equestrian magical developments as well. Having the ability to go from Earth to Abyssinia to Equestria quickly would be really convenient.

Once I had my readings, I sat and watched the flow of traffic through the portal. It was a little like watching unicorn teleportation. A pony was there and in the blink of an eye, she was gone. Once that unicorn had made it safely to the other side, it was Earth’s turn to send someone or something to Equestria. One second the portal was empty, the next some sort of vehicle drove through it. It had my attention. It was painted black, but had no problems navigating the rough terrain of the Everfree Forest. I trotted after it – it was the first human technology I’d seen, and I wanted to examine it up close.

It easily outpaced me through the forest, but I found it parked outside Ponyville’s town hall. I looked over the vehicle appreciatively. This was something Equestria definitely needed. A motorized transport such as this would cut down travel times exponentially.

One of the humans saw me nosing around, and I thought he was going to yell at me or chase me off. Instead he reached inside the vehicle and opened the engine compartment. “What is it?” I asked in somewhat broken English. I’d learned the required languages, but I’d had nopony to practice with, making it more challenging than when Catrina had taught me Felidae. I knew the words, but was hesitant about the pronunciations.

“It’s a Jeep Wrangler Unlimited.” I paid close attention as he explained the engine ran on hydrogen, and suggested that if I wanted to, I could even make some fuel for the vehicle. I leapt at the chance, and once he explained the process, I converted water into its base components.

He went into more details, explaining how the Jeep had been lifted and fitted with larger than normal tires to traverse the rough terrain through the Everfree. Surprised by my rapt attention and relevant questions, he pulled out a small telecommunications device and started showing me photos of his personal car, which was a white and blue vehicle he called a ‘Trans Am’. It was smaller, lower, faster and burned gasoline instead of hydrogen. It was also far better looking than the boxy Jeep, with a blue phoenix graphic splashed across the hood.

“Equestria needs things like this.”

He nodded. “You’ll need the infrastructure first. You need roads, fueling stations, traffic lights, etc. Right now the only cars we can drive here are these specially modified SUVs. You want a ride?”

“Yes!”

We got in, and he drove back to the portal. “You thinking of coming to Earth?”

“That’s why I’m here. Tomorrow’s the big day.”

“I think you’ll like it. Most ponies are intimidated by human technology, but you seem to enjoy it.”

“I’ve always been fascinated with machines and magical devices. Can I own a car on Earth? How expensive are they?”

He chuckled. “I’m not sure what the rules are when it comes to ponies driving. You don’t have cars, so none of you have driver’s licenses. And you’re not going to be American citizens, at least not yet, so I don’t think we can issue you licenses either. You’ll have to bring it up when you meet the consul tomorrow. As for how much, it depends on what you want. You can get an old, barely running car cheap, or a new, top of the line model for significantly more than that.” He paused. “I get the impression you’d probably enjoy getting something old and fixing it up personally.”

“Is that hard to do?”

“Depends on how old you go. You seem to know the concept of an engine, and older cars have relatively simple motors. Modern cars, well, you saw this one’s engine. You’d need specialized tools to work on something like this. If I were you, I’d look for something from the 1970s or older. As for what, well, I’ll leave that up to you. There’s a wide variety of cars and trucks out there to pick from. You’ll know what you like when you see it.”

We reached the portal and I got out. I waved as he crossed through to the other side, marveling at how such a large vehicle could be there one second and gone the next. It has to work like unicorn teleportation. I will unravel the secrets of this portal.

I cantered back to Ponyville for a second time, this time with my tummy rumbling.

---

Pine Barrens, New Jersey: today

Most of my fellow passengers on the bus complained about the smell and the noise, and while I couldn’t necessarily disagree with them, it didn’t bother me as much. I’d certainly heard louder engines, and any transport used by this many ponies and humans would obviously start reeking without proper cleaning. I tried a few cleansing spells, without much success.

While the other ponies conversed amongst themselves, I stared out the window at the passing cars. They really did come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. But almost all of them were modern cars, and nothing really stood out as something that appealed to me.

We came up on a massive bridge, the signs for which called it the George Washington Bridge. Had I stayed on my original career track, I’d be designing things like this. Bridges and buildings still interested me, just not as much as machines. Cars were my latest fascination, but I couldn’t wait to get my hooves on one of those personal communications devices like the human had shown me pictures on. I honestly couldn’t decide which one interested me more, or which of the two would have a bigger impact on Equus.

It wasn’t much longer before the bus pulled up to the consulate. I was in no particular hurry, so I waited until everypony else got off. That put me last in line to meet with the consul, but that didn’t faze me as I looked around the waiting room. There were of course pictures from Equestria, as well as some of our new home. Various trinkets from both worlds were on display, but what caught my attention was a neglected computer in the corner. None of the ponies in the room wanted to get close to it. Their loss.

I sat at the terminal and tried to start it. There’d been scant few books available on computers and human technology, and I’d read every single one. I turned it on and looked around the screen. There has to be a way to access the internet.

Curiosity getting the better of them, several of the other ponies watched me navigating the computer. From a distance, of course, but I could feel their attention on me as I moved the cursor around looking for something that would let me start doing some research.

One of the Royal Guards came over and explained how to get online, and asked me what I was trying to accomplish. I explained I wanted information about Earth, and she directed me to Wikipedia. I started with the bridge we’d crossed over, and from there looked up the city the consulate was located in. One by one the ponies around me disappeared, until I was alone in the room. I hadn’t even noticed the crowd thinning out, I was so engrossed in what I was learning. It was only when the same guard tapped me on the withers that I finally looked up.

“It’s your turn.”

“Already?”

She chuckled. “It’s been over three hours.”

“That was amazing. Thank you for showing it to me. I learned a lot!”

I followed her into the consul’s office, and it was only then that I noticed she was a white-coated thestral. That’s unusual. I’ve never seen a thestral that wasn’t midnight blue, royal purple, charcoal gray, or black as coal.

She introduced the consul, “Presenting Her Grace, Duchess Ploomette of the House of Hurricane, Equestrian Permanent Representative to the United Nations, and Equestrian Consul General of New York City.”

“Please tell me you get paid by the word every time you say that.”

She cracked up, and even Ploomette grinned.

“Lulu Luck, Baroness of Calico.” I’ve never dropped my title before, to anypony, ever. But this time it’s funny. Besides, my secret will be out the second she looks at my passport.

Ploomette blinked, then laughed. “You’ve got quite the sense of humor. But I know all the royals and nobles of Equestria, and we most certainly don’t have…” She trailed off as I slid my Equestrian passport to her, directly followed by my Abyssinian passport.

“Never said it was an Equestrian title.”

She looked from one to the other and I thought her brain might start overheating like an engine with insufficient cooling. “This is most unusual. I’ve never met a pony with dual citizenship before. Ponies tend not to stray far from Equestria. The few that do tend to have reasons for not coming back. Which country do you claim as home?”

“Equestria. I was born there, though I’ve resided in Panthera for the last three years. My area of interest is technology, specifically how to meld Abyssinian tech with Equestrian magic. When I found out about Earth, I knew I had to come here and see all this for myself.”

“It’s true. She was the only pony to touch the computer today. I think she might be the only one who’s used it all week.”

“Normally, I wouldn’t ask this as it’s impolite, but I’m afraid duty demands I inquire regardless. How, exactly, did you end up with a title in a foreign country?”

I explained everything, and Ploomette and the guard listened intently. After I’d caught them up on the events of my life, I chuckled. “As you can see, a lot of fuss has been made just because I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“Sounds more like you were in the right place at the right time to me. It all worked out in the end.”

“I guess. This probably shouldn’t be the first thing I ask, but I really want to know the answer, and I don’t want to run the risk of forgetting… How would a pony go about getting a driver’s license?”

“This might surprise you just a bit, but we do have a policy in place for this. We can set you up with a driving instructor, so you get some practice, and then you’ll demonstrate your competency to my staff’s expert, Searchlight.”

“That’s me, by the way.” The thestral guard smiled.

“Once she approves you, I’ll issue your license. It’s a bit more difficult than it looks. To clarify, driving isn’t difficult, it’s the way cars are set up that’s the problem. Obviously, they’re designed for humans, not ponies, and while there are a multitude of similarities between our species, we definitely don’t bend in the same ways. As a unicorn, you’ll have it a bit easier than a pegasus or earth pony would.”

“I’ll make it work. It probably wouldn’t be hard to retrofit a car with an interior ergonomic to ponies. I’ll have to look into it.”

“Is that what you want to do while you’re here on Earth?”

“I hadn’t thought of that until right now. Really, my only desire is to learn as much about technology as I can. I was planning on going walkabout.” I motioned to my cutie mark. “Just wander as much of the globe as I can, acquiring samples of technology along the way.” I thought back to the trip from the portal to the consulate. “I saw lots of larger vehicles on the road. There has to be some sort of motorized home I could drive around. If not, I’ll invent one.”

“They exist. I believe they’re known as recreational vehicles. Is that right, Searchlight? You’re more up on cars than I am.”

Searchlight nodded. “RVs for short. They’re also known as motorhomes.”

“Great. Then that’s what I want to do: get my license, then acquire an older RV and drive around acquiring as much human tech as I can.”

Ploomette nodded. “Then it’s settled. You’ll need to stay in the area for a few weeks until you get your license, and I happen to have the perfect place. I’ll make the arrangements.”

“You can go back and play on the computer some more, if you’d like.”

I took Searchlight’s suggestion and spent the rest of my time at the consulate browsing Wikipedia. I started researching RVs, and found a Winnebago from the 1970s I kind of liked. It looked like nothing I’d seen on the roads to date. At 5:00, Searchlight interrupted my internet browsing and let me know it was time to go. I followed her to where Ploomette and another guard were already waiting in a black SUV. I still hadn’t learned enough about cars to identify makes and models yet, so I cheated and looked at the badge on the vehicle that proclaimed it as a Lincoln Navigator.

Searchlight drove, while I sat in the passenger seat next to her, observing her motions as she explained what she was doing. She had plenty of time to go into detail, as we sat in traffic for an hour, barely making any progress out of the city. We crawled through the city, eventually reaching a tunnel. It took another hour to get to our destination: a hotel called the Mareiott.

Searchlight grabbed the door, and I followed Ploomette inside. The pony behind the front desk smiled and waved at the duchess as she entered, and Ploomette waved back. “Good evening, Plumsweet! Are there any vacancies tonight? We have a guest.”

Plumsweet laughed. “The better question would be if we have any guests.” She looked at the book in front of her. “Looks like it’s Bifröst’s turn. Room #7.” Ploomette and her guard detail entered room #1, and I followed Plumsweet to room #7.

She knocked on the door, and a pink pegasus answered. “Hello! I am being Bifröst! How are you this evening?” She had a thick northern Equestrian accent that made understanding her difficult.

“I’m good. You?”

“Better now that you are being here!”

She made me dinner, then we played games until Searchlight knocked on the door.

“I know it’s late, but I need you to take this test.” I levitated the paper into my hooves and read the first question. It was a driver’s exam. “I know you haven’t had a chance to see any driving material yet, but if you can pass this based on what I explained earlier, I can issue your learner’s permit tonight.”

I floated a pen over and filled in the multiple choice test, then passed it back to her. She scanned the results and smiled. “Perfect! I’ll go fill out your permit, and then we’ll spend some time practicing over the next few weeks until you feel ready to take the road test. You’ll also need to pass a harder test to get your license. Since we don’t have cars in Equestria, we’re using the New Jersey Motor Vehicle Commission’s test.”

I nodded. “One more thing before you go. Where do I go about getting some Earth tech? I’d like to get a computer.”

“If you’re planning on roaming, you’ll want a laptop and a cell phone. There’s another mare here by the name of Snowcatcher – she’s the first Equestrian civilian to earn her driver’s license. I’m sure if you ask her to take you over to the mall, she’ll help get you set up.”

“I can be introducing you to Snowcatcher!”

Searchlight nodded to my temporary roommate. “Bifröst’s got you covered. Have a good night!”

---

Little Falls, New Jersey: day 1

I awoke to Bifröst snuggled against me. “You are being awake! I shall be going to make you the breakfast.”

“Thank you.”

While Bifröst cooked, I sat at the room’s desk and started making a list of the essentials I’d need for my travels:

recreational vehicle
computer laptop computer
cellphone
atlas/maps
bedding
cooking supplies
non-perishable food

I tapped the pen idly against my snout as I pondered what else to purchase. Bifröst interrupted my planning with a breakfast of hay bacon, bagels, and croissants. It smelled delicious – I’d been living amongst felines for so long I’d forgotten just how good properly prepared Equestrian food could taste.

After breakfast, Bifröst took me on the tour of the hotel. It was still very much a work-in-progress. They hadn’t even officially opened yet, and like me, the scant few other guests were also ponies recently arrived on Earth. Half the rooms were ready, while the rest of the staff was busy renovating the second floor of the converted mansion.

A rainbow-maned unicorn poked her head out of room #9. Her paint-splattered coat did an unintentionally good job of matching her hair. “Flitterheart, darling, could you come in and check to see if this looks okay?”

A pegasus with pair of intertwined hearts on her flank stopped what she was doing and trotted past us. A glance in room #10 showed a blue unicorn installing a bathroom in the corner closest to the door, while a yellow pegasus was busy painting the ceiling in another room.

We reached the end of the hall, and the thus far untouched room #16. Inside, an earth pony was tweaking the finer details on the blueprints a unicorn was revising accordingly.

“Snowy?”

“Yes, Bifröst?”

“We are having guest who would like to be going to the mall.”

“I’d like to get a cellphone and a computer.”

“I can drive you over a little later. I hate to ask this since you’re a guest, but can you wait until noon? That’s when we break for lunch.” She sighed. “I’m sorry for the state the hotel’s in. If I’d had my way, we wouldn’t have opened until we had all the rooms ready, but Ploomette insisted. I really couldn’t turn down her request since she floated us a loan to cover the cost of the renovations.”

“I understand entirely, and maybe I can help you out. I like to tear things down and rebuild them, and I’ve been wanting to get my hooves on some Earth tech since I found out about it. Do you have anything that doesn’t work?”

“Diamond Rose.” The others all cracked up at that, but I just blinked. Seeing my confusion, she explained. “Sorry, she’s one of our coworkers. With very little emphasis on the ‘work’. Can you fix laziness and/or incompetence?”

I shook my head. “I was thinking more along the lines television sets or radios…”

Snowcatcher shrugged. “We don’t have anything like that. The place was pretty much gutted before we moved in.”

“But that worked out great for us. Since it wasn’t habitable, we got the place cheap, and as an added bonus, we could start renovations immediately. Hi, I’m Daisy Dreams, apparently lead architect on this project, despite having never so much as looked at a blueprint until two months ago.”

“Lulu Luck, bewildered guest of this hotel.”

“Nice to meet you.” She bumped my hoof. “In addition to completing the hotel, we’re also still working on our customer service skills. Snowy, we can survive for an hour or two without you. Go take Lulu to the mall.”

Snowcatcher led the way to a garage and we all climbed into a van that was the same color yellow as all the taxicabs I’d seen in the city yesterday. ‘Mareiott’ was stenciled over the door, almost as an afterthought.

The interior was nowhere near as nice as the SUV I’d ridden in the day before. “What kind of car is this?”

“It’s a Ford Econoline. This one was used as an airport shuttle for many years. It’s been used and abused, and it barely runs. But it was cheap, fits all of the Mareiott’s employees, and has plenty of cargo capacity. I’ve filled this thing on trips to Home Depot or At Home. I’m hoping to upgrade to something better by the time we open. Our vehicle will be one of the first things guests see when we arrive to pick them up at the airport or train station, so I want something that’ll make a good first impression.”

“Of course. The SUV the consul has is really nice.”

“Those are well out of our budget. I looked into them, because I also thought they were nice. We can’t afford one of them, let alone several. We’re going to need more than one car. Eventually, the rest of the staff will get their licenses too. Ideally, each of us would have our own car. Realistically, we’ve got enough room in the garage for about five or six cars we can share. It would be nice if they all matched. Something that sticks out as part of our brand identity.”

“I’m doing some research into vintage vehicles. It was recommended to me to get an older car, because they’re easier to fix. If you want, I can see if I can find anything that fits the hotel’s needs while I’m doing research on my own car of choice?”

“I’d appreciate that. Though I’m not sure we have anypony on staff who’s mechanically inclined.”

“It is not being me,” Bifröst added from the backseat.

“Nor I,” Snowcatcher conceded. “Though I’m sure I can learn. I’ve been learning a lot about central air conditioning the past few weeks. Before that it was electrical wiring. There’s a lot of work that needs to be done, and we can’t afford to hire experts.”

We drove longer than I’d expected for something that was supposedly ‘close’ to the hotel, but with long distances speedily traversed by cars, it made sense that close would be subjective. That didn’t bother me, it gave me more time to observe how she drove and learn more rules of the road.

Much to my surprise, it wasn’t a mall that we eventually stopped at.

“I hope you don’t mind, but if you want to learn how to drive I thought this might be a good place to start.” Snowcatcher opened the door and Bifröst and I got out.

I looked around at broken vehicles as we entered a salvage yard.

“Driving is a huge responsibility. Many of Earth’s natives take it as a right, not a privilege.” She patted the hood of a car that had the entire side of the vehicle caved in. “Doing that can have dire consequences. This car was struck in the passenger compartment by another vehicle.” She brushed some debris off a big pickup truck with a crumpled front. “This truck might’ve punched a hole in a house.”

We continued walking around the salvage yard looking at destroyed and/or derelict vehicles, with Snowcatcher quick to point out anything she thought was important to go over. An SUV with the roof smashed in was the next example. “Cars can be rolled if turned too quickly. This is especially an issue with vehicles with higher centers of gravity, like our hotel’s van, or the RV you’re interested in buying.”

Eventually we reached the part of the yard reserved for older cars. These were primarily less damaged, but more dilapidated from age. “I get the feeling I don’t need to explain this part to you, but cars need to be maintained. Vehicles end up looking like this because of neglect.”

I nodded. “Like any machine.”

“Exactly. For the record, I’m not trying to discourage you from driving. You seem ready for the road, but sometimes it helps to see the consequences of actions in advance. Nopony has yet had an accident while controlling a vehicle and I want to keep it that way.”

“How many ponies are able to drive?”

“Counting you? Half a dozen.”

“That’s a pretty small sample size.”

“It is, and eventually the law of averages is going to catch up with somepony, but for now ponies have a 100% safe driving record and I’m eager to maintain it. Don’t drive distracted – a lot of these accidents were caused by people texting, or eating, or doing any number of other things behind the wheel that they shouldn’t.”

It was food for thought as we left the junkyard and headed to our primary destination. I continued observing, this time paying closer attention to the signs. Most seemed straightforward – the red octagonal sign that said ‘stop’ meant bring the vehicle to a halt, the yellow diamond-shaped signs warned of upcoming curves, intersections, or hazards, while white rectangular signs with numbers limited the speed of the vehicle. All of them seemed pretty straightforward. Whenever I had questions I asked, and Snowcatcher answered to the best of her abilities.

Eventually, the van came to a stop in front of a sprawling shopping complex. It was unlike anything I’d seen either in Equestria or Abyssinia. “Wow!”

“The Willowbrook Mall is the fifth largest mall in New Jersey.”

“There are bigger ones?”

“Oh yes, lots of them.”

“Humans go all out, don’t they?”

“‘Go big or go home’ is a saying here on Earth.”

“They went big, all right.”

She led the way into a store with an apple-shaped logo. My jaw had dropped a little upon seeing the size of the mall, but it hit the floor when I looked into the Apple Store. It was everything I’d ever wanted, and more.

Snowcatcher giggled. “Keep in mind Apple only sells a few products. There’s an At Home store we’ll stop at so you can check out more mundane appliances too.”

The saleshuman was happy to assist me, and started explaining all the variations on what they sold, asking me questions on what I planned to do, and what I was looking for. Snowcatcher added her thoughts periodically, but Bifröst remained quiet. Like most ponies, she was somewhat intimidated by technology. I hadn’t seen her use her phone even once, though Snowcatcher had mentioned that everypony at the Mareiott had one.

In the end I trotted out with a laptop. I very quickly determined that the level of technology was well beyond anything I could grasp. If I take this apart, I’m never going to get it back together again. I sighed. There were some things it was going to take me years to understand. But the fastest way to get started was to use it and figure out what it did. After I have a handle on that, maybe I can reverse engineer an old one that no one wants. Once I was out of the store, I teleported the laptop to my personal pocket dimension.

“Can you teach me that trick?”

“Maybe. It really depends on your field strength. It involves teleportation, so if you can’t do that, you can’t do this either.” I’d no sooner finished saying that then Bifröst, Snowcatcher, and myself found ourselves standing in front of the At Home store. I blinked, and looked across the parking lot at the mall we’d just vacated and calculated the distance – it was further than I could safely go. “Yeah, I think I can teach you.”

“Awesome! I’ve got a few interesting spells you might be interested in too.”

Shopping there wasn’t even close to being as mesmerizing as the Apple Store, but I purchased half a dozen appliances that I felt comfortable tearing into. I wouldn’t have use for any of them on the road, so if they were still usable when it was time for me to leave, I’d just let the hotel keep them.

Like the laptop, I moved them to my personal storage space, but this time I explained exactly how I’d performed the spell step-by-step for Snowcatcher’s benefit. “But be careful when you’re first learning this spell. If it’s not something you can afford to lose, don’t try storing it until you know you can perform the spell flawlessly. There’s a learning curve.”

She nodded, and we winked back into the mall, in front of a restaurant declaring itself as The Cheesecake Factory.

“You are remembering my favorite!” It was the first time I’d seen Bifröst smile since we’d arrived at the mall.

Snowcatcher smiled back. “We’re here, we may as well have lunch. Lulu, this is the best place we’ve found on Earth so far.”

I sat with my newfound friends, and we attracted quite a few stares from the restaurant’s other patrons. That wasn’t surprising. What shocked all of us was that we weren’t the only ponies in the restaurant. Neither Snowcatcher nor I recognized the pair of mares, but Bifröst immediately waved to them.

“Flitter! Cloudchaser! It is good to be seeing you again!”

“Bifröst! We haven’t seen you in ages!”

She wandered over to their table to catch up, while Snowcatcher described the restaurant to me. “You haven’t been on Earth long enough to notice it yet, but human cuisine is severely lacking in calories. Some of that is because humans consider vegetarian options to be ‘diet food’, while the rest is that ponies naturally consume more calories in any given day. The Cheesecake Factory is one of the few restaurants that comes close to Equestrian style food: specifically their desserts.”

I licked my lips as I read through the menu. Snowcatcher was right, their salad selections seemed mediocre at best. I opted for a pasta dish, as did Bifröst. Snowcatcher selected a double order of mozzarella sticks. My meal was good – nothing to write home about, but it certainly hit the spot. Dessert, on the other hoof, was outstanding.

We paid, Bifröst exchanged contact information with the twins, and then Snowcatcher winked us back to the van. “Did Searchlight issue you a permit?”

I nodded. “Last night. She said she’d try and work in some practice on evenings and weekends. Whenever she’s not on duty at the consulate.”

Snowcatcher floated the van’s keys over to me. “Feel comfortable driving it back to the hotel?”

I grinned. “Absolutely.”

“We’ve got a nice, big parking lot here. It’s not very busy today, so there’s a lot of empty space. So take a few laps around the lot to get comfortable with the vehicle, and when you’re ready I’ll give you the directions back to the hotel.”

I put the van in gear and the tires squealed when I depressed the accelerator with my magic.

“Easier on the pedals.”

I nodded and coasted to a stop. Then I tried again, and managed a less jerky start. The third time was smoother yet. “This isn’t hard at all.”

“The car does most of the work for you. Your input is mostly steering, accelerating, and braking. The challenging part is when you’re out on the roads and there’s other traffic and pedestrians to watch out for.”

It took a few loops of the parking lot, but the finesse needed to operate the old van came to me quickly. The front wheels steered the vehicle, while the rear wheels propelled the van. The harder I pressed the accelerator, the faster the van went. The harder I pressed the brake pedal, the faster the van stopped, brakes squealing.

“Don’t forget to use your turn blinkers. This isn’t a BMW.”

“Do BMWs signal automatically?” From what I could tell, modern cars had enough technology to almost drive themselves.

Snowcatcher laughed. “No, it’s an Earth stereotype. BMW drivers are well-known for not using their signals.”

“I never was much a fan of stereotypes. Even though many of them exist for a reason, that’s no reason to perpetuate them.”

“You say that now, but I’m going to follow-up before you leave and see how many BMW drivers you’ve cussed out.”

I ignored her as I caught a glimpse of movement in the rearview mirror. I was surprised to see Bifröst on her phone. It was the first time I’d seen her use the device, and I’d been starting to think she didn’t even have one.

I turned my attention back to the road. Driving was a big responsibility, and I was in charge of a multi-ton van that could seriously injure someone if I hit them. I continued following Snowcatcher’s directions as we drove back to the Mareiott.

“You can go a little faster. The speed limit’s thirty-five through here.”

I looked down and the speedometer needle was hovering around twenty-seven miles per hour, so I pressed the gas pedal a little harder.

“Turn right here.”

I signaled my intention to do so, and a white sedan cut in front of me to make a left turn onto the same road I wanted to turn onto. I jammed the brake pedal to the floor and the van skidded to a stop. “Did I read the manual wrong? I thought that the vehicle making a right turn had the right of way unless the opposing left turn lane has a green arrow.”

“Nope, you’re correct.” Snowcatcher said between laughs.

“Am I missing something? Why are you laughing?”

“That was being a BMW,” Bifröst helpfully pointed out. “You can be telling by the black roundel emblem with the blue and the white checkers.”

I sighed and levitated my wallet out of my saddlebags and over to Bifröst. “Grab a dollar out of there. We had a swear jar growing up…”

“But you didn’t do the swearing of the words.”

“I thought it, and that’s close enough.” I shook off the near miss, taking my hoof off the brake. The van started moving again.

Snowcatcher patted my withers from the seat next to me. “Welcome to New Jersey.”

---

The rest of the drive was uneventful, and once we were back at the Mareiott, Bifröst disappeared. I found that highly unusual considering the hotel’s gimmick. But I really didn’t care if somepony was waiting on my every whim. If I wanted that, I’d just move to New Horseleans. I found the silence welcome after all the socializing. I stretched out on the bed and took a nap.

When I woke up, the room was empty. Not only was Bifröst not there, but neither were any of her belongings. The room had been stripped bare except for the furniture, my own possessions… and her cellphone, which was lying next to the TV. I did a quick inventory and wasn’t missing anything. I haven’t been robbed, but I appear to have been abandoned.

I headed upstairs looking for Snowcatcher. Aside from Bifröst, she was the staff member I knew the best. I found her still puzzling over the blueprints. “Um, hello?”

She looked up. “My apologies. Bifröst quit when we got back from our shopping excursion. The twins she ran into at lunch offered her a job and she accepted. I can’t blame her – they need pegasi and they offered her a competitive wage we couldn’t hope to match. There was also something to do with the climate, something Starlight Glimmer tasked her with doing. Her new job will allow her to interact with the weather and she’ll start getting a feel for it. Honeybuzz is in the same boat, but with bees. In case you were wondering about the apiary out back.”

“I hadn’t even noticed it.”

“Sorry, I’m rambling. I’m at my wit’s end. I came down to help her pack so she wouldn’t disturb you from your nap. I would’ve stuck around with you until you woke up, but as you can see we’ve got a lot to do at the moment. Anyway, we can move you to another room, or you can stay in room #7 solo for the duration of your stay. You don’t have to decide right now, and if you need anything, let any of the rest of us know.”

“No worries. I won’t be a bother, I assure you.”

“I know you were planning on traveling but how’d you like to join us? Your stipend’s the buy-in. Any old or broken technology would become yours to do with as you please. It’s not much of an offer, but it’s the best that I can do.”

“So you want me to pay you to work here.”

“You’d be part owner along with the rest of us, of course.” Snowcatcher facehoofed. “Oh, who am I kidding? Yes, please invest your stipend into an unfinished hotel that’s barely staying afloat even with the duchess’ direct intervention. Join us in this money pit as we watch our futures sink further and further into the abyss. If you have even a shred of common sense you’ll gallop away now.”

“Sold. I’m in.”

She looked up. “That was quite literally the world’s worst sales pitch.”

“You believe in this hotel, or you’d be leaving along with Bifröst. That’s enough for me, and I’m not exactly hurting for bits. I won’t miss the stipend.”

“Would it change your mind if I told you I can’t leave? I’m technically in charge of this band of misfits.”

“Do you believe in this hotel?”

She nodded. “I think we can make it work. We just need a little luck.”

“I’m a little pony and I’m named Lulu Luck. Will that work?”

She smiled. “We can use all the luck we can get. Welcome aboard.”

I smiled back and levitated the blueprints away from her. “I was originally planning to be an architect. I’m not certified, but despite that I get the feeling I might be a bit more qualified than Daisy.”

“Can you actually read one of these things?” Snowcatcher motioned to the blueprints hovering in the air in front of me.

“Yes.”

“In that case, you’re definitely more qualified than us. We’ve been learning as we go. Have at it.”

“I need to see the building codes.” They’ve already finished half the rooms, including mine. They shouldn’t be struggling with the remaining ones. And if they are… I trotted back to my room, Snowcatcher trailing behind. I pulled my tape measure from my pocket dimension and started measuring, absentmindedly taking the building code book from Snowy. “I need to do some reading first, but I think we’re going to have to make some changes. Who drew up these blueprints?” There was no way either Daisy or Snowcatcher had come up with them.

“Frisco.”

I looked at the blueprints again. Yeah, that explains a lot. No wonder they were so lost. Amateurs trying to follow an expert’s design. “How did you manage to get one of Equestria’s most renowned architects to draw up your renovations?”

“Ploom had her under contract to do the consulate buildings, and she was still here on Earth.”

“Hmn.” This is way beyond what any of us could hope to do. “I’ll talk to Ploomette later. In the meantime, can you show me every single change you’ve made to these blueprints?”

Snowcatcher’s horn lit up and the tracing paper over the blueprints lifted. “All alterations were done on transparent paper. Just in case. We didn’t alter anything we didn’t have to, but there were a lot of things in there we just couldn’t figure out how to do.”

“So I see.”

“Did we mess up?”

“You’ve got inadequate resources and no experience. I’m impressed you followed these as well as you did. But that doesn’t change the fact that this is well beyond me, too. We need an experienced crew to finish this place.” Especially all these fortifications. “We need to get whoever worked on the consulate.”

“But we can’t afford…”

“No buts. I’ll take care of this.” Or rather Ploomette will, as soon as I explain what Frisco’s trying to do. Her safety is paramount, and by extension, that applies to our safety as well. If Equestria has enemies on Earth, the consulate would be one their first targets. If they find out that the duchess is in a poorly-guarded hotel…. it won’t end well for any of us. This isn’t a castle, but these reinforcements are probably the best that can be done with what we’ve got to work with. They’ll have to do. If Frisco’s satisfied with them, they’re good enough for me.

Author's Note:

Chapter notes: https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/911842/story-notes-16-lulu-luck

Ask Lulu Luck questions related to the story: https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/963642/meet-the-mares-lulu-luck

Big thanks to RoyaleFanaticGal for the fanart of Lulu Luck!

Comments

[Dan]

Ooooo... I like this one. A techie with a desire to screw the rules. Or more accurately, bend the rules to her will.

Such a shame this year's DEFCON is cancelled.
https://twitter.com/defcon/status/1288891124141023234

Is Lulu a mostly spacial-thinker who needs physical parts to work with or is she equally good with math?
https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2020/07/ibm-completes-successful-field-trials-on-fully-homomorphic-encryption/

[Venerable Ro]

I like her, she's a gutsy one.

[Booster Spice]

Watch that first step, issa Lulu.

A 1970s Whinneybago? shes going to end up with a real Rustbucket, but hopefully it will be slightly more reliable than a British Leyland 3 axel bus, no matter how much fans say how FAB they are when set up right.

If she looks deeply enough into the total hardware crazies, it is theoretically possible for her to build her own computer, from the motherboard and chipset up, without specialist gear, that can still use modern devices and access teh internet in a fully useable manner. By crazies, I mean people who spend $80 on 8 Meg of Ram, or $1500 on a 200 Mhz CPU, to get a 35 year old computer upto date.

I think teh current record is A1200, Mediator board for PCI slots, PCI to PCI ExpressX1 adaptor board, PCIx1 to PCIx16 adaptor, and a Radeon R9 GPU running a 4K display. Although the 1996 display driver software got a patch recently that fixed its 8K behaviour, the guy said it was unstable at 15700..

If she got a very basic Landrover style design, can replace most of teh mechanical connections with power electric loops, hydraulics or flexi linksso she can move the controls however she wants, then build whatever body on the back. Those pickups with 5th wheel beds and RV trailers seems to be the ultimate flexible combination?

Homomorphic computation and 600 bits per element in floats? Bit daft given the RSA key is 4096 bits and bignum is whatever you want? I like how they complain about the 50 fold hit in performance, when one of the security fixes in the last few years slowed certain coding down evven more than that, and doing a 10 megapoint computation on a block reminds me of vertical stacking 1:1 relationships between camera chips and image processing.

Little Kid. I see strange numbers.

[Spamotron]

If Lulu was impressed by Wikipedia I imagine discovering all the YouTube science/engineering/gadget/hacker channels will be like Hearthswarming.

Recommendations in no particular order: The Thought Emporium, Practical Engineering , NightHawkInLight, Steve Mould, Cody's Lab, Nile Red

[Dan]

Someone draw Lulu doing a Motoko Kusanagi cosplay!
derpicdn.net/img/view/2012/7/19/49845.jpg

Or maybe a Gadget Hackwrench cosplay.

[AlwaysDressesInStyle]

10362527

I'd say she's the latter. While she's perfectly capable of reading schematics, she's more of a hooves-on kind of mare. She prefers to have the physical pieces in front of her, and she learns best by tearing it down to see how it ticks. Then she rebuilds it, and if she really gets a handle on it, she'll start looking for ways to improve it. As for the math aspect, she'd originally intended on becoming an engineer, so being good at math would be a required skill set for that career.

She has a skill set the Mareiott doesn't realize they need. Part of her Act II chapter has accidentally been written already (I just couldn't stop!), and in it we see that at the time of her 'visit' they're still in the renovation phase. She's going to get involved in that, and of course she's going to join the hotel.

[AlwaysDressesInStyle]

10362756

A 1970s Whinneybago?

She's never actually going to get a Whinneybago (love that! ). Instead, she's going to end up with a fleet of Checker Marathons. When they finally start earning enough income for her to get a personal car, it'll also be a Checker: specifically an airport limo (wagon) that she'll turn into a makeshift RV. She's going to find them to be incredibly durable, easy to work on, with timeless styling. She finds magnificence in the mundane.

If she looks deeply enough into the total hardware crazies, it is theoretically possible for her to build her own computer, from the motherboard and chipset up, without specialist gear, that can still use modern devices and access the internet in a fully usable manner. By crazies, I mean people who spend $80 on 8 Meg of Ram, or $1500 on a 200 Mhz CPU, to get a 35 year old computer up to date.

Most ponies tend to gravitate towards older tech (baby steps). Some, like Diamond Rose, will completely embrace the newest of the new, simply because of the convenience. Lulu, on the other hoof, wants to know what makes everything tick. As soon as she realizes that building a computer from scratch is a thing she can do, she's absolutely going to try it (I doubt this will come up in story though). Since Lulu loves to tinker with/improve things, she'd probably experiment with a mixture of new and old (starting with the old, tearing it down, & rebuilding it) to find out what works best, and go from there. I very much doubt she'll go the crazy route and try to get an '80s or '90s era computer up to modern specs.

[rdaniel_76]

I can’t decide which is a better Easter egg reference: Heathcliff or Dr. Claw’s gadgets.

[Daremo]

I trotted into Circuit Kitty

The puns, they burn!! Why must you torture us so??

[Latecomer]

An interesting movie tie-in - almost seems like too big a backstory for a mare who ends up working a hotel, but I guess you never know who has a story till you ask.

[PaintedPony]

This was a fantastic chapter! Lulu Luck is another pony I absolutely love! A heroine who was at the right time and place! I really like that she's a gearhead as well as a techy! I really liked how she just replied to Duchess Ploomette with her own title of Baroness! That made me laugh a lot. I am really enjoying this whole story.

[Raine_Lionheart]

I trotted into Circuit Kitty

Bahahahaha!

[Raine_Lionheart]

I winked out of between...

Just curious if this is a reference to the Dragonriders of Pern?