What Could It Be?

Ever since the mysterious portal had opened between Earth and Equis, the pony nation of Equestria had been in a massive uproar. This was understandable. After all, who wouldn't be shocked at the discovery of a brand-new world, with an entirely new intelligent species to communicate with? Nopony had been able to resist the excitement, gossiping about the opportunities this new world would bring, and all the changes that would come with this new era.

Of course, Princess Celestia and Luna had immediately moved to open diplomatic relations with the various nations of the new planet, beginning with the United States, where the portal opened to. As soon as she'd found out about this, Princess Twilight Sparkle had begged to assist with the process, seeing it as an entirely new world of study to discover and document, something the scholar inside her couldn't resist. The Princesses, ever faithful in Twilight, had agreed to her request, and Twilight and her closest friends were appointed as diplomats between Equestria and Earth. In fact, they'd just recently returned from their most recent visit. Besides the usual talks of how the two worlds would interact, the ponies had also been turned loose, and given the chance to explore everything the humans had to offer.

Twilight, being Twilight, was most comfortable with books, and upon completing the diplomatic meetings, had gone out and purchased as many as she possibly could, mostly relating to human history and sciences. As was the norm for her, her mind devoured this new information like a starving animal, and she began filling as many notebooks as possible with the things she'd learned. Her current plan was to publish a book that would hopefully teach ponies all over Equestria about this fascinating new species.

At the current moment, Twilight was sitting in the Cutie Map room, pouring over a book on electricity, while her magic simultaneously scribbled on a scrap of parchment. Spike was in the same room, but unlike his sister figure, he was engrossed in a human comic book.

"This is incredible!" Twilight breathed, her eyes scanning over the pages again, just to make sure she'd read it right. "Spike! Did you know that humans figured out ways to generate energy by drawing power from their own sun?! It's like they recreated Princess Celestia's powers with technology!"

"Mm-hm," Spike grunted in response, too deep into the adventures of Spider-Man to pay attention. Fortunately for him, Twilight was too focused on her studies to be annoyed.

"I hope that when we open trade with Earth, we can get some of this technology imported!" Twilight continued, excited. "Imagine all the benefits we could bring to Equestria! All the innovation! All the—"

Twilight's thoughts were interrupted by a knocking on the door. With a reluctant sigh, Twilight set down her book and quill, and used her magic to open the door. Spike, to be polite, put down his comic, getting up to see who was there. On the other side were Rainbow Dash and Applejack, looking rather unnerved.

"Oh, hey girls!" said Twilight. "Have you been looking at the books we picked up from Earth? I haven't been able to put this one down for hours!"

"Uh, that's great, Twilight," said Rainbow. "Actually, that's kind of why we're here. See, we've got...a problem."

"A problem with humans?" asked Twilight, curious. "I've read through their history books, sure, but—"

"No, it ain't us that have the problem, Twilight," said Applejack. "It's Pinkie Pie."

"Pinkie? What are you talking about, she loved it over there. An entirely new planet to make friends with? And they like to throw parties? It sounds like her dream come true."

"Yeah," Rainbow admitted. "But ever since we got back, she's shut herself up in her room, and she won't come out. Or even answer anypony. She must've seen something that got to her."

"She's locked up since we got back? But that was almost a week ago!"

"I'm sure she had somethin' on her mind when we left," said Applejack. "You're an observant pony, Twi, you must've noticed."

Twilight turned her mind back to their departure. Now that she thought about it, Pinkie had been acting a little odd (by Pinkie standards, that is). Somepony who knew the party pony would've expected her to be jumping for joy, planning all the new parties she was going to throw, or excited about all the new friends she was going to make. Instead, Pinkie had been quiet and aloof, staring off into the distance as though lost in thought. It definitely wasn't typical of the pony. Twilight hadn't thought anything of it at the time, being lost in her own thoughts, but she hadn't missed it.

"Did Pinkie get a chance to use the...what was it, inTERnet?" she asked, nervous, as ideas began to take root in her brain.

"Yeah, I think she was the last one to get off," replied Rainbow. "I don't remember what she was looking at, though. Why?"

"I think...now, this is just a theory, but I think Pinkie might've seen something she wasn't ready for," Twilight said, sweat beginning to form on her neck. "Come on, let's get down there."

Applejack and Rainbow nodded, and the three ponies turned, galloping out of the castle, followed by Spike, Twilight hoping that she was wrong.

Pinkie's living quarters at Sugar Cube Corner were locked up tight. Not that Rarity and Fluttershy hadn't tried to get in, of course. The two ponies were currently standing outside the door, desperately imploring Pinkie to open to door, to respond to their calls, to do something, anything. Their hopes all fell on deaf ears. Fluttershy looked like she was about to break completely.

That was when Twilight, Rainbow, Spike, and Applejack came running up to them. "What's the situation?" Twilight demanded, knowing she probably wouldn't like the answer.

"It's horrible," Fluttershy squeaked, but still managing to hold back her tears. "Mr. and Mrs. Cake both say they haven't heard anything from her. She's blocked off the windows from the inside, and she must've put something heavy against the door, because we can't move it."

Twilight sighed quietly to herself. It was everything that she'd expected. She was unnerved to say the least. Swallowing her fears, she quietly trotted up to the door, raising a single hoof, and knocked.

"Pinkie?" she called. "Pinkie, we're all here now. All your best friends. Can you please open the door? Or at least just answer us?"

There was no response. All five of the ponies each took their turn, calling out to their friend, but the result was always the same. Even Spike took a shot, but it made no difference. Pinkie just wouldn't answer the door. Twilight started to get angry, causing her horn to flare and shoot off sparks of loose magic.

"PINKIE! PINKIE, OPEN THIS DOOR!" she shouted, doing a very close approximation of the Royal Canterlot Voice. Her magical aura ignited, grabbing the door and shaking it, nearly ripping it off its hinges. The remaining ponies watched their friend in shock.

Finally, there was a response.

"Can't. Busy!" came Pinkie's voice from the other side. Pinkie sounded flustered, like she did when she hadn't slept because she was so busy planning some party or another. Twilight pressed her ear against the door, and on the other side, she could've sworn she heard some sort of wet, huffing sound. She couldn't say with one-hundred percent certainty, but to her, it sounded like sobbing.

"Pinkie, I..." Twilight started, only to falter in mid-sentence. She immediately regretted that outburst of anger, wondering if she'd somehow managed to make things worse. "Pinkie, look, I'm sorry. And I think I know what's going on. Maybe you looked at a human history timeline or something, but I think you saw something. I know, humans have started wars over nothing, they've killed each other for nothing, and it's terrible. It can make it seem like their entire species is nothing but monsters, and I can see why that would upset you."

Twilight placed her hoof against the door. "But you have to look at the big picture. A lot of those terrible things happened...because the wrong humans got into positions of power. You can't judge them based on the worst of their species. If we did that, you'd have to judge us by the actions of King Sombra, and we all know how that would go.

"I promise you, humans aren't monsters. And I'm sure there will be many of them that want to be your friends. There are billions of them, they can't all be bad! Will you please just open the door?"

This time, Twilight seemed to finally get through to her friend. On the other side of the door, a few hoofsteps was followed by a thump, and a long creak, as Pinkie presumably dragged whatever furniture she'd put in front of the door away. Finally, the door opened to reveal the familiar party pony, but she didn't look sad at all. Her eyes weren't red, so she hadn't been crying. In fact, the only thing that was off about her appearance was the small candy stick hanging out of her mouth.

"Twilight, what are you talking about?" demanded Pinkie, taking the stick out. "I never thought humans were bad. Now, if you'll excuse me, I really have to get back before I lose count—" Then she looked down at the candy. "Hey!"

Twilight looked down at the treat. At one end of the paper stick was a spherical shell of hard candy, surrounding a brown core, presumably made out of chocolate. Looking closer, Twilight saw that the hard candy shell had been worn away, barely exposing the core.

"Hey! I did it!" exclaimed Pinkie, jumping up and down with sheer joy. "I made it without biting! Twilight, we gotta go back to Earth and let them know that I figured it out!"

"Figured what out...?" Twilight asked, apprehensively.

"That it takes four-hundred and ninety-three licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop!"

In response, Twilight, as well as the other four mares (and Spike) all facehoofed. What else was there to do?

Author's Note:

What was I thinking when I wrote this? I'll let you decide.

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Comments ( 11 )

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Mr cold ghost

Mr cold ghost #1 · Aug 26th, 2019 · 5 · ·

Well that turned out to be much more funnier than I thought it would be. Have a upvote sir!

Arkonfleight

Arkonfleight #2 · Aug 26th, 2019 · 3 · ·

Just don't get her started on what people would do for a klondike bar.

Full Bloom

Full Bloom #3 · Aug 26th, 2019 · 2 · ·

Lies!

I did this as a child, I made it past nine hundred!

~Tips Over A Glass Of Chocolate Milk And Dashes Out.~

FYI, funny fic!

duckmagee

duckmagee #4 · Aug 26th, 2019 · 1 · ·

i was half expecting something like a human ask pinkie How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? or how is a raven like a writing desk

FredMSloniker