CH18: Prologue
The Ponyville Hayburger was proving to be one of Twilight’s favorite restaurants. It was probably a good thing the franchise wasn’t as popular in Canterlot. She sat around the table with her new friends. She didn’t know where Rainbow kept finding new ponies, but that wasn’t a pressing issue.
They all knew what they were facing. Princess Cadenza - Cadance to her friends - had been picked to lead the Element group and had pinpointed Nightmare Moon’s forces in the Everfree Forest. The shadow enemies hadn’t succeeded in overthrowing Equestria in one fell swoop, but that didn’t mean they were content to concede defeat. When night fell, the Elements were going after them.
“I don’t know how I feel about changin’ up the diurnal cycle,” said Applejack. “Sure, I get that the forces of darkness are more powerful in the darkness, but it’s bad for the trees.”
“You worry too much,” said Rainbow Dash.
“Although, evening lasting extra long is nice,” said Firefly.
“So what does everypony want to do after the war?” asked Pinkie.
“Um, maybe that’s a little too far ahead to be thinking right now,” said Fluttershy. “The town has some buildings destroyed from the last attack. I’m still surprised this restaurant is even open.”
“Probably because nopony can sleep because the sun is still up,” Applejack said.
“Well,” said Rarity, “to answer your question, I’m going to open another gallery, but bigger and grander. Perhaps in Canterlot, or Manehattan.”
“I’m going to still be here on the farm,” said Applejack.
“Dream a little bigger,” Rainbow chided.
“There’s nothing wrong with liking what you have,” said Night Glider. “I still want to be a weatherpony.”
“What about you, Twilight?” said Surprise. “You’ve been quiet.”
“I don’t really know,” Twilight replied. “Maybe go back to school. I still feel like I have a lot to learn.”
“Didn’t you come from a fancy school in Canterlot?” said Rainbow. “What do you have left to learn?”
“Well, I haven’t graduated yet,” said Twilight.
“Did you have friends there?” said Rarity.
“Well...not really. Too busy. Maybe I’ll have time after the war. Mom and dad-” Twilight paused, swallowed, and continued in a quieter voice. “-they said I should try to make friends wherever I happened to be. I should try harder. For them.”
“I think we all might have somepony we’re workin’ for here,” said Applejack, matching her tone. “I guess all we’ve really got is family and friends, or at least memories.”
“This is depressing,” said Pinkie. “I’m going to go pay the bill.” She winked and clicked her tongue. “It’s all on me.”
There was a general chorus of thank-yous from around the table. Twilight smiled.
As innocent as the moment was, it stuck with Twilight. It had been the last time she smiled for a long while after.
Twelve hours later, some of their number were dead and Twilight was stumbling out of the castle in the Everfree Forest covered in blood, only some of it hers.
The war was over. Her life felt like it was over, shattered. From the bottom looking up, there wasn’t much of a view. Despite what had just happened, climbing out might be the hardest thing she would ever do. She just wanted out.
Twilight entered the classroom before the bell. She smiled briefly at Fluttershy as she walked past, heading for her desk near the window at the other side of the room.
She took a seat and started pulling books out of her school bag, placing Quantum Physics for Geniuses and Tuba for Teens on top her desk.
Moon Dancer leaned over. “Are you busy this weekend?”
“Another rocket launch?” Twilight guessed.
“We got a bigger one,” said Lyra, grinning.
Twilight smiled with her. “Sure, I’ll be there if I can.” She scribbled a reminder note and put her pen back behind her ear. “It’s good to get out with you girls. Applejack always says ’all work and no play makes you dull’ which is ironic considering all she does is work, so I think there’s a lesson to be taken there.”
“Speaking of fun, are we going for ice cream after school?” Lyra asked in a lower voice.
“It is good ice cream,” said Moon Dancer, “but do you think you might be getting a little bit too much of it?”
“I’ll just run a few more laps.” Lyra shrugged.
“If you ever run as many laps as me, then maybe it’ll compensate for the ice cream you eat,” Twilight chuckled.
“I’ll just stick to the calisthenics and once-a-week aikido,” said Moon Dancer. “I don’t think either of us are really ready to work out like the Elements do.”
“That’s nothing compared to band,” said Twilight. “Whose idea was a tuba?”
“Hey, I run, you play,” said Lyra. “That was the deal.”
“Well, I’m sure these new hobbies we agreed on will be good for all of us,” Moon Dancer said.
Twilight nodded and smiled. “Sure. What are friends for?”
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Well that was abrupt. I figured it would be who it ended up being, didn't see the twist, though the glasses really should have given it away.
9585203
Heck yeah!
Ok, that was fun. Now I'm off to watch this anime, You have gotten me pretty hyped.
That twist was really interesting and unexpected. I could say that the fight was brutally short and abrupt, but is was really well executed, in retrospect. Specially the way it ended, suddenly and without fanfare. I bet she wouldn't expect that in a thousand years, all that work and killing for an inglorious ending. Poetic, maybe, but still sad.
I wonder how much it hurt for Celestia to see it happening before her eyes.
And just like Cadence, I totally ship TwiPest
9592224
I actually toned the shipping down from the source material. Part of why I liked Magical Girl Spec Ops Asuka was how many genres it parodied, eventually including harems.
It does end pretty abruptly but it was a fun read, thanks.
Tuba player Twilight, the natural conclusion.
That was fun.
Best compliment I can give for a story like this; I have no familiarity with the source material and still found this highly engaging.
So... sequel?
Good story... any chance for a sequel?
I feel the final battle with Sunset a little rushed, also there are still other like Discord or Tirek or Cozy Glow
Question, what was Sunset trying to do & what did any of the prior acts of terrorism have to do with it? I feel like she could've done that at the very start & would've succeeded because all her allies wouldn't be dead, switched sides, and she would be fighting a much smaller group of people. Even if in this fight they didn't do anything. Where the fuck did she even get a giant monster to attack Manehattan with? And the pacing, the chapters are short so things happen, places are visited, and interactions ended as soon as they start. Also there isn't really a conclusion because just like many of the fights, they just end. Like what the fuck happened with Nightflyer? She's just thrown in prison and evil with no explanation as to how she came back or why she's evil? Does Twilight also have the ability to subconsciously bring people back to life? This doesn't feel like a cohesive narrative and more like a series of violent events. It's not bad per se, I'm just left confused. I hope you're still active so I can get a post mortem
11153823
Same plot as Equestria Girls, she was sore at Celestia and trying to get revenge. While Sunset was the biggest of bads, she wasn't directly controlling all of the chaos. People like Trixie and Starlight, while they might have accepted assistance and magic, were too strongheaded and independant to be loyal soldiers, as it were. Still, they served Sunset's purposes of degrading Equestria and tying up the good guys.
They're literally all over Equestria.
Night Glider served as a plot device to address Rainbow's issues, as well as be the unexpected connection. While we don't see what eventually happened with her, Twilight was making plans to figure it out and get her some help.
I have no idea what you're talking about.
I understand that my writing style can sometimes be direct and to the point, perhaps too much so. While I agree that it's definitely a series of violent events, I would appreciate a few more pointers on where the narrative was difficult to follow.
11154115
Surprised to get a reply so soon. Well the confusing part was what any of the earliest fights had to do with her main goal. It feels like they only happened for the sake of having a fight, and rarely did they advance the plot in a meaningful way.
There is a skeleton of a plot to be had, but as you said your writing style is direct. As a result there's just not a lot of meat to it, and the cartilage fairly weak. There's a couple of good nuggets here of character interaction, but there's not a lot of time spent fleshing out certain characters or locations. People will arrive some place, do one thing and then leave. Not a lot to be said within 5k words maximum.
And sunset still just kind of wasted time doing all that instead of keeping them in reserve for the summit. Brigadier's plan made sense, her allies were a means to gather the resources to make a Magical Girl of destruction. What were Trixie, Gilda, Tempest and Starlight a means to?