• Member Since 10th May, 2023
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Cryogenii


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When Twilight ascended it was all smiles and happiness...

The change hit some of the Mane 6 harder than others, and care needs to be taken to prevent things going in a very dark direction.

Can Twilight get over body dysmorphia? Will Pinkie ever be able to close her eyes again? Can Rainbow Dash prevent a disaster?

Note: I owe a debt to another story for planting the seeds of this one https://www.fimfiction.net/story/248728/1/the-folly-of-celestia/she-doesnt-love-you

Chapters (7)
Comments ( 12 )

She felt as though she could swat an Ursula Minor as easily as a bug now.

Swat an Ursula Minor? That you could Twi, that you could, too bad I don't know what that is (it's called an "Ursa Minor", not "Ursula").

Sigh, It's always nice to see the girls when they're friends being, well, friends

Wonder what's wrong with Pinkie... oh well, guess I'll find out!

...same Twilight?" Fretted Pinkie...

The "fretted" is capitalised, I don't think it should be.

"Good morning darling," she called out in a brightly cheerful tone, "could I have a cinnamon bun please?"

There should be a comma after "moring" and now I'm hungry for cinnamon buns :rainbowwild:

Oh no, Pinkie, you're makin' me think about things which Twilicorn never originally made me think of...

Pinkie needs a hug, real bad. :pinkiesad2:

Luna!! Hi, it's nice to see you, I just wish you hadn't brought up the whole alternate universe Twilight thing because that did not seem good.

Comment posted by Cryogenii deleted March 18th

Wow,that was really good! You described everypony's perspective on Twilight turning into an alicorn very well. I'm glad they were able to help Pinkie work through her issues and I agree with Applejack, Pinkie could use some therapy.

This is great and sketchy as hell. What really happened here? The expression of Twilights strange, churning thoughts was pungent.

It was, after all, a momentous change in the young pony's life, and Celestia would do everything in her power to ensure Twilight was ready for it, both in heart and spirit. Even if that meant having to exercise patience that her will was temporarily being defied, for the sake of Twilight's friends.

Damn

Pinkie Pie shrugged, her gaze now fixed on the floor. "I didn't want to worry anypony, or get sent away like the others. Eventually, I figured it out. Oh, but... what if Twilight's going' through something' similar? What if she's having an existential crisis too, and I just can't see it?"

Extra quotation marks

Fluttershy shy peered out from under her fringe, concern etched on her face as she noticed the dark lines under her friend's eyes, "on my goodness, Rainbow. Are you okay, is this because of Twilight's transformation?"

Flutter... shy shy? Extra shy there

Rainbow Dash let out a sigh and continued, "Luna kinda insinuated that if Twilight didn't adjust to her new life as an alicorn correctly, something terrible could happen. I can't help but feel the weight of that responsibility too now."

Rainbow doesn't seem like the kind of pony to use the word "insinuated", I think just "Princess Luna told me that [...]" would do

As the two friends said their farewells, Rainbow Dash couldn't help but cast a nervous glance towards the sky, wondering what surprises Discord might have in store, now that he knew the location of her apartment.

Same, Dash, same.

Rainbow Dash nodded, her expression reflecting the same sense of wonder. "Yeah, it's like destiny brought us together, or some other guiding hoof. We've faced so much since then, and every challenge has only made us stronger."

Da guiding hoof waz Sunbutt

"Absolutely… Applejack and Rarity will accompany Pinkie on the train," replied Twilight, "Fluttershy will follow on with Spike, as soon as she's handed over the critters, including Tank, to Mane Goodall to look after whilst we're away."

I think I'm being a little too nitpicky, but I think the word "whilst" is a little too formal for Twilight while just talking to RD

Twilight's mind drifted to the idea of escaping her current path, of fleeing from the looming coronation and the grandiose future that awaited her. But deep down, she knew there was no turning back the clock. The simplicity of her life as a naive young unicorn was forever lost to the sands of time. She had come too far, seen too much, and grown to ever regain that innocence. The responsibilities and expectations that now rested upon her shoulders were inescapable, woven into the very fabric of her being. And though the weight of it all seemed overwhelming, she recognised that this was her destiny, and there was no choice but to embrace it.

You should choose your own destiny you motherfucker! Just say no to Celestia! (I'm not against Twilicorn, but that's only because show Twilight doesn't have anything against it, this Twi does)

Little TwinkiePie friendshipping moments are always nice :heart:

Celestia spoke again, "Indeed you are, my little pony. [...]"

Roll the credits

However, as her gaze settled on Applejack, a pleasant surprise took her aback. Rainbow noticed a subtle yet lovely addition to Applejack's appearance - a touch of mascara, a detail that Rarity must have convinced her to wear. Rainbow couldn't help but sigh, utterly captivated by how beautiful her secret crush looked, [...]

Sigh, you just had to ruin this for me, right? No offence, since I know we all have our own ships (I myself, am addicted to Twilight x Pinkie) but that was just out of nowhere, perhaps you could imply it more in previous chapters?

Speaking of those "heavenly voices that started playing," I for a split second thought Rainbow died and went to Heaven (please forgive me for that; It was 3:00 am the last time I read this)

11741965
So far as I understand it, Rainbow Dash and Applejack are cannon. You might want to avoid "Applejack's First Crush" and the final chapter of "The Hidden Story", but I'm totally into that ship for FIM and Rarity & Applejack in EG.

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