She Doesn't Love You
A glowing candle illuminated the dark grey hall. Twilight Sparkle let out a soft groan of fatigue, rising from the cold stone tiles to survey her surroundings. It looked like the hall of some ancient castle. Red curtains covered the tall windows and candelabras and portraits decorated the gray stone wall. It reminded her of the Castle of the Two Sisters, enough that for a moment she believed that that was where she was, but the cut of the stone beneath her hooves dissuaded her of that notion. It was as though someone had tried to recreate the building off of a drawing, unsettlingly close but subtly off the mark. Every changed detail caught her eye like a small jolt, keeping her skittish as she tried to orient herself.
“Ah, Princess Twilight Sparkle, welcome to my humble abode.”
Twilight groaned. ‘Note to self: Smack whoever wrote this lady’s dialogue.’
Twilight rubbed her sore eyes and looked up. Standing upon a raised platform on the far side of the hallway was a pony wearing a hooded cloak. Light from a stained glass window illuminated them, but shadow still fell across its face. Only their eyes were visible, but even these were obscured by some enchantment, hiding their true colors.
Twilight stared at the figure before her. “Who are you?”
“A pertinent question, which we will address in due time,” the figure replied. Whoever this pony was, they were using some sort of spell to disguise their voice, but it wasn’t quite successful; there was still something vaguely feminine in her tone, something almost familiar that Twilight couldn’t quite place.
“I’m sorry… I don’t even know what I’m doing here,” Twilight stammered, trying take in all of her surroundings. “One minute I was in Canterlot… I walked down the hallway and…”
“And now you are here with me,” the figure breathed, sounding almost seductive. It approached Twilight, steps making very little noise as they connected with the ground. “But that is unimportant. What truly matters is the gift I come bearing.”
“Gift? What gift?” Twilight asked.
“Truth… and freedom,” the figure replied, a white smile barely visible underneath her hood. “Something that you’ve always longed for. You’ve just never had the courage to admit it to yourself until now.”
Something shining materialized in the air between them. Twilight stared at it and scoffed. “You’re trying to tempt me with a crown? It’s a little late for that. If you haven’t noticed, I already have one.”
“Look again.”
Twilight took a step closer, finally noticing the single purple diamond in the center. “That’s... Celestia’s crown!” she realized. “Where did you get that?”
“That’s not important.”
“You keep saying that,” Twilight noted. “I don’t believe for a second that that’s true. Who are you? What are you hiding?”
“Do not question me!” A hiss whistled around the room, seeming to come from every corner as much as the hooded figure. The dark pony straightened. It spoke slowly, as though explaining something to a child. “I am not your enemy, Twilight Sparkle. I’m freely offering you Celestia’s crown. And if you want to leave, all you have to do is take it.”
Twilight raised an eyebrow. “You want me to rule Equestria?”
“No, it doesn’t have to be you,” the figure said dismissively. “You wouldn’t like that, would you? So much power. So much responsibility. So little time to spend with your friends. No, Luna would do just fine. Or Sunset Shimmer, now that she’s reformed. Even Pinkie Pie would suffice, so long as you’re not under the puppet-strings of a tyrant who has been deceiving you with her lofty sweet-nothings.”
Twilight’s eyebrow arched higher. “Yes, because you clearly don’t look like the type to do exactly that.”
The figure let out a witch-like chuckle. “I suppose it’s not the most subtle attire, now is it? But back to my offer. Instead of ruling below such a scum-sucking dictator, you could be greater. You could be free of her, and could even be a mentor under someone more worthy...”
“Why would I want to do that?”
The figure let out another chuckle. Twilight let out a breath in response. This pony’s condescension was starting to grate her nerves.
“Oh, so innocent…” The figure laughed. “Twilight, do you not realize how much of an evil and incompetent ruler Celestia is?”
Twilight’s eyes widened. That was the first time she had ever heard an accusation like that.
“I see I’ve captured your attention,” the figure noted. “It seems you have not even entertained the thought of Celestia being not so perfect as you ponies make her out to be.”
“Of course I have,” Twilight insisted. “Celestia’s not a perfect pony. She’s going to slip up from time to time. Like any average pony, she’s going to make mistakes–"
“But she isn’t the average pony!” the figure shouted. "And these aren't average mistakes she’s made!" It pounded the floor and the room quaked in response. The figure’s form began to crackle and flicker, becoming almost translucent.
Twilight flinched back and lifted a hoof. Her body tensed, ready to bolt at any second.
The figure stood back up, straightening its robe. “My apologies. This is a touchy topic for me,” it said. It cleared its throat for a second, then resumed its eloquent speech pattern.
“Let’s cut to the chase. If I can convince you that Celestia is a bad ruler, you will usurp her and place somepony more deserving on the throne. Princess Luna, preferably, but the decision is ultimately yours.”
Twilight stared at the figure. Slowly, her eyes narrowed. “Why are you doing this?” she asked.
The figure gave a small chuckle. “What do you mean? I’m trying to help you.”
“Don’t give me that,” Twilight snapped. “You’re not the first villain to try and tempt or corrupt me. Nopony asks something this big without an ulterior motive. Tell me the truth; what’s in it for you?”
“Nothing really,” the figure stated. “It’s just a matter of justice… or pride, depending on how you look at it. I simply cannot stand the idea of a ruler being so cruel to her subjects and seeing ponies throwing themselves at her hooves in ignorance.”
Twilight let out an inaudible growl. The way this pony casually slandered Princess Celestia was starting to grate her nerves. Her eyes drifted over to the crown. Twilight cocked her head, considering the figure’s deal.
Was this a risk she should be taking? She was certainly confident that Celestia was innocent. However, she’d read about these types of temptations before. Every foal knew that signing a contract with a spiritual being was a fast track to ending up in Tartarus. There was always some twist, some manipulation, some tiny overlooked detail that caused the pony to fall off a slippery slope to their ultimate doom. Twilight considered trying to flee, but she had no idea where she was, and she didn’t know how powerful this entity was…
Twilight decided her only option was to play along, at least until she found a way to escape.
“All right…” Twilight said slowly. “I’ll bite. Tell me your problems with Celestia.”
The figure nodded. The crown floated back across the room and hovered, unsupported, over the platform where the cloaked pony had first appeared. “Whenever you’re ready to accept the truth,” the figure said, “the crown will be right there.”
“Get on with it,” Twilight said, tapping her hoof.
“Very well.” The figure turned dramatically and began to pace. “Let’s start this off simply, then... the Nightmare Moon incident.”
Twilight nodded. “I remember. That was when I first met my friends and brought Princess Luna back to us, correct?”
“Yes, and I find the circumstances of that event DEEPLY troubling. She sent you, a simple unicorn at the time, and five other girls on a mission to save the world against an alicorn with unbelievable magical powers and strength, instead of an army, or even lifting a single hoof to help you herself?”
Twilight gulped. The figure appeared to be a little more prepared than she originally thought.
“In a very similar situation, Celestia sent six little ponies to deal with a dragon when she could have easily taken care of it herself. Call it laziness or overestimating your abilities, but anypony could see that the task was clearly out of your league.”
Twilight snorted.
“Oh? Touched a nerve there, did I?”
“It doesn’t matter, continue,” Twilight growled.
“Of course,” the figure sneered. “My point is, there were several points in both of those situations where you almost died! Nearly falling to your death, being crushed, or getting eaten by a manticore or dragon isn’t something to be taken lightly! A pony doesn’t forget near-death experiences like that so easily! Imagine what it would do to the psyche of a young unicorn fresh out of school!”
Twilight suppressed a shiver. “I’ve had… bad dreams about that occasionally,” she admitted.
“And for that you have my deepest sympathies,” the figure said with a small bow of its head. “But let’s continue. There were many times when she could have helped you but chose not to. Celestia didn’t help your first fight against Discord. She could have protected you from Discord’s wily ways, but instead elected to hole herself up in her castle while her subjects suffered under Discord’s madness.”
“She… I….” Twilight stammered.
“And even more grievously,” it continued, “She didn’t help you against King Sombra! A stallion powerful enough to enslave an entire empire, but somehow not worth Celestia’s time? Was she too afraid to fight him again? Was there something more important she had to do? Or did she feel that since you were able to give her precious sister back to her that she could throw all her responsibilities of protecting Equestria on your shoulders? Parasprites, Diamond Dogs, buffalo, dragons, Cerberus himself... Has Celestia ever been there for you when you needed her the most?”
Twilight backed up slightly. “T-that’s not true–”
“Maybe it isn’t…” The figure sneered. “Depends on what mood she’s in, I suppose. Remember Tirek? Instead of sending you, Luna, Cadance, or herself to handle him, she sent Discord of all creatures! DISCORD!” It took a step closer with every exclamation, forcing Twilight to back up as it roared into her face. “She trusted the Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony with the safety of Equestria? Did Celestia really think Discord wouldn't betray you like he did? Because of her shoddy decision, your precious library and all the memories contained within it are gone forever!” The figure’s hide seemed to stretch upwards suddenly, before shrinking back to normal size.
Silence fell upon the room. Twilight stood there motionless, looking at the ground. Then, she slowly lifted her head to meet the figure’s gaze.
“Okay…” she said, “I understand…”
The figure smirked. Finally, it had won her. It took a step to the side and gestured back, towards the crown.
“But…” Twilight stammered. “B-before I make this decision… I have just one question…”
“Go ahead.”
“How stupid do you think I am?”
The figure’s eyes widened.
“What.”
“Do you take me for a foal?” Twilight growled. “Every single woe you just listed has a perfectly reasonable explanation. I’m not going to be fooled by such underhanded and manipulative tactics. ESPECIALLY not ones as bad as yours.”
The figure’s eyes flashed pure white. Upon returning to normal, its face grew a chilling smirk.
“You’re bluffing,” the figure sneered. “You’ve never entertained these kinds of thoughts, and there’s no way you could have figured out a defense so quickly for each of them.”
A bead of sweat dropped down Twilight’s cheek. “Well… okay, you’re right, I’m bluffing, but can I at least have a chance to defend Celestia?”
The figure didn’t reply. Its eyes looked off to the side, a hint of irritation in them.
“I would prefer not to waste time,” the figure sighed. “Then again if I forced this on you without giving you a choice in the matter., I would be no better than Celestia. Fine, you may defend her.”
“Thank you, it’s nice to know you can be civil,” Twilight complimented. “Now let’s start with Nightmare Moon. You say there was ‘something else’ she could have done without putting my friends and I in danger?”
“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying,” the figure replied. “She could have fought the Nightmare herself instead of making you and your friends do it, or she could have called Shining Armor and had him and his guards subdue her.”
“I think you overestimate us,” Twilight said. “Do you not remember how powerful Nightmare Moon was? Remember how easily she defeated Celestia one thousand years ago?”
The figure seemed to pause at those words.
“Yes…”
“And remember during the Summer Sun Celebration how easily Nightmare Moon subdued the Royal Guard?”
“I’ve… heard the stories.”
“Well, knowing those facts of Nightmare Moon’s power… what could she have done?”
The figure sneered.
“Easy! She could have built up a large army over the years to prepare for Nightmare Moon’s return! She could have matched the Nightmare’s strength then!”
Twilight raised an eyebrow. “So… you’re suggesting she should have built up an enormous army? Under the explanation that her evil, crazy, millennia-old sister was returning and she was preparing for it? That would certainly unnerve our Griffon and Dragon neighbors, wouldn’t it? They wouldn’t have thought she was preparing for an internal threat; they might have thought Equestria was preparing for war and reciprocated. Not to mention, the citizens of Equestria would certainly demonize Celestia as a power-hungry tyrant for focusing so much attention on our military. Even if the plan went off without a hitch, the entire world would learn to hate her, and we’d be stuck with an army that we didn’t have any use for.”
The arrogant, condescending smirk returned.
“Sorry Twilight, but that’s all theory,” the figure sneered. “You don’t really know that for sure. Can you name a point in our history when something like that has happened?”
“I…” Twilight started, then paused. “Well, that… that doesn’t change the fact that that’s a risk we shouldn’t be willing to take!”
“Being disliked is a risk she shouldn’t be willing to take?” The figure chuckled. “Oh Twilight, I understand you want to see the best in her, but that’s no excuse to spew groundless speculation.”
“I… “ Twilight shifted, her mind racing. “Darn, I was hoping this pony wouldn’t catch that!”
“Besides, even if that were true, don’t you realize that just makes it worse for her? Don’t you think that having an army to stop THE END OF THE WORLD was worth a little bad press?”
“You… you have a point....” Twilight said, wincing at her own words.
“Then you admit it.” The figure got in her face again, grinning triumphantly. “Celestia cares about her own image more than she cares about your life.”
“No!” Twilight shouted. “I mean you would have a point, if you were right about an army being a good idea, and you’re not. That’s because NO army could stop Nightmare Moon. Let me put this into perspective for you… did you know that I could reduce every living thing in Equestria to ash within a second if I wanted to?”
The figure’s eyes widened at that. “Y-you’re bluffing again,” it stuttered, backing off. “W-You’ve never shown you can do that.”
“Let’s see...” Twilight challenged.
Her horn flared, causing the ground to shake. Cracks appeared in the walls. The glow of magic spread to her eyes as she lifted into the air, causing ripples of pure power to manifest around her. The entire building thrummed in time with her heartbeat, tearing itself apart from the force. A vast wind roared, rattling everything – everything except the stranger’s cape, which didn’t so much as flutter. “Is it really so much of a stretch to assume I can move the sun?” Twilight said in a voice that could split oceans.
“Stop this! Stop this at once!” The figure stomped, shaking the room in a pulse that was lost within Twilight’s ethereal grip. “You’re faking this! You have never displayed this much power!”
“Maybe I am, maybe I’m not, but let me ask you a question… Why would I?”
Twilight lowered herself back to the floor. With as much effort as she’d used to destroy them, she resealed the holes in the walls, every speck of stone flying back into its proper place. Through the thin cracks she caught glimpses of the sky, but nothing else before dimness covered them both again. “Why would I want my friends to fear me?” she continued, taking advantage of the figure’s momentary shock and striding forward. “Why would I ever use that kind of power if I didn’t have to? Even I don’t know how strong I am any more. A truly strong mare is someone who doesn’t have to know.”
The figure seemed to hesitate for a second. There was no doubt in Twilight’s eyes.
“So, you’re powerful we don’t know the extent of said power. What of it then?”
“I don’t like to entertain such dark thoughts, but the fact remains that an alicorn has the potential to drop the sun or the moon on Equestria, whereas it would take an entire race of unicorns to do so otherwise.” She sighed, letting the last of the magic leave her. “And don’t forget that I still have a lot to learn. Without my friends with me, Celestia is still a lot stronger than I am. So what hope do you think an army would have against a being even more powerful than HER? Sending in an army to face Nightmare Moon would have been like sending gems to face a dragon, and she would never allow so many pointless and preventable deaths, apparently unlike you.”
The figure growled, slowly recovering its angry stance.
“No matter which way you look at it,” Twilight continued, “there is no way she could prepare for Nightmare Moon’s return, other than helping me discover and use the Elements of Harmony. She couldn’t use them because they were inert and the Element of Magic was missing.”
“But why was that?”
“I don’t know,” Twilight answered. “The Elements are a mystery to all of us. Maybe it’s because when she used them, she lost the friendship that had let her use them in the first place, or maybe the Elements were destroyed by being used on one of their own bearers, but theories don’t matter. What matters is that they were inert and neither she nor anyone else could use them. The only thing she could try to do was have new friendships reignite them.”
“But she could have told you!” the figure protested. “If she’d told you then you could have–”
“What? Told the girls ‘hey, we have to be friends in order to save the world?’” Twilight mocked. “I once loathed the idea of even having friends. Honesty, Kindness, Generosity, Loyalty, Laughter... I wouldn’t have recognized any of those virtues if I hadn’t experienced them like I did. If I were told I had to make friends in order to save the world, I would have seen them as a means to an end and they wouldn’t really be my friends.”
“Then… that would have jeopardized the whole thing...” the figure realized.
“Exactly. Celestia had to keep it a secret from me, otherwise we wouldn’t have succeeded,” Twilight confirmed. “I admit, it was a tricky gambit that placed me and all my friends in danger. Many times I’ve shuddered to think about what would have happened if it didn’t work, but it was the only option available to Celestia, so I can’t blame her for that.”
The figure growled, but then curled back into a smirk. “You say that was the only thing she could have done? What if she could do something? Like the time with the dragon? She sent six ponies to fight off a dragon that could kill them easily.”
Twilight faltered, her mind racing. “Well… I… umm…. But we didn’t die, we were-”
“That doesn’t make it right! He was about to kill you and Celestia shouldn’t have put you in that situation!!”
Twilight thought back to the event. Was the dragon trying to kill them? He certainly was angry… and he could easily do so… so why didn’t he? Were they in danger at all?
“Let me go over what happened,” Twilight requested. “When the dragon was woken up from his nap, annoyed by party activities, and almost stolen from, he was completely docile. Angry perhaps, but not violent. The dragon only attacked us once he was attacked. Anypony would likely do the same once they were bucked in the face.”
“And he was going to kill you then if not for Fluttershy’s interference.”
“I’m not so sure,” Twilight replied. “The dragon could have killed Rainbow Dash at any time using a swipe of his claw or his fire breath, but he instead chose to use his smoke breath, like he was showing off or letting off steam,” Twilight thought out loud. “Besides, the dragon admitted he was wrong for attacking us later, and that shows that dragons are capable of being reasoned with and have consciences.”
“But he was a dragon! You had no idea if he were docile or not! There was a high chance he could have killed you on sight!”
Twilight blinked. “...That’s racist.”
“Pardon?”
“Saying that all dragons are evil and violent enough by nature to kill as soon as they look at you. Sure, the common pony hasn’t gotten much exposure to dragons, but judging an entire race based off of a few individuals is a hateful logical fallacy. If dragons are, as you claim, violent enough to kill on sight, then why would Celestia send her faithful student to her imminent doom?”
“Because she’s evil, obviously!”
“Celestia is evil because dragons are evil, and dragons are evil because Celestia is evil. Circular logic, much?” Twilight snarked to herself. “Have you ever stopped to consider that maybe dragons aren’t inherently evil and she was treating the dragon like a respected member of another race?”
“If that were true, Celestia would have come herself. She could have arrived via golden chariot and poofed the dragon away!”
“Not necessarily. If Celestia dealt with the problem using magical aggression without due process, that’s no better than her being a bully and tyrant, like you insist on believing.”
The figure growled. “Well, then why didn’t Celestia try to reason with the dragon herself instead of sending you six?”
“I don’t know the real reason,” Twilight admitted. “Maybe she was busy with something else, but I would assume it was delegation. If Celestia stopped to fix every single problem in her kingdom herself, she wouldn’t have time to breathe. She’s a pony just like you or me and we need to respect that.”
“Oh, she couldn’t be bothered? It was too much effort for her to have someone else pull a chariot for her and tell a dragon ‘get out?’ How pathetic,” The figure spat. “Besides, if she could delegate, then why not send the guard?”
“Because this was supposed to be a matter of diplomacy, not force, and sending guards would have sent the wrong message.”
“And that somehow justifies sending you on a perilous journey in which you almost died?” the figure snapped.
Twilight recalled the rockslide. If Applejack hadn’t pushed her out of the way, she would have been crushed. Any one of her friends could have died there. Why didn’t Celestia do it herself if she knew the risks?
“Wait…”
“Celestia didn’t know about any of the hazards,” Twilight realized. “How could she know about local avalanche zones, or that Fluttershy was scared of dragons? She’s not omniscient. Besides, the more I think about it, my friends and I were probably the best equipped to deal with this problem. We are a team that bolsters each other’s strengths and covers each other’s weaknesses. We had the best combination of diplomacy, connections, and even survival experience if things got a little hairy. Celestia really made the smartest choice she could make concerning the dragon.”
The figure paced back and forth, staring at the floor as if it offended her. “I’m sensing a pattern here. Celestia seems to dump the responsibilities of defeating certain foes on you. Certain foes that she cannot defeat… or refuses to defeat? She may be innocent with Nightmare Moon and the dragon, but what about Discord’s first attack? Why didn’t she help you then? Surely she could have done something, like accompanied you on your quest to find the Elements.”
Twilight shook her head. “And do what? The first time, it took both Celestia and Luna along with the Elements of Harmony to take Discord down, and as of his first attack, she could not control the Elements’ power. Only I could have done something.” Twilight paused. “Well, that’s not entirely true. There was one thing she could have done… and did.”
“What do you mean?”
“Discord liked to corrupt ponies with his manipulation of the truth,” Twilight replied. “It isn’t hard to assume he would likely try some sort of ironic twist on me and my friends to satisfy his warped sense of humor. He could easily have made me forget about what made friendship special… and he did. The only way to counter such a thing would be to remind the corrupted pony of what made the thing they valued so special in the first place.”
“But how did she know you were corrupted? Was Celestia spying on you and she just didn’t help you until you’d almost failed?”
“Honestly, I don’t know,” Twilight admitted. “But if you think about it, how could she have known? Again, she’s not omniscient.”
“That much is certain…”
Twilight chose to ignore that. “The only thing that makes sense is she sent them to me as a precaution, because it was the only thing she could have done. Maybe she sent them on the off-chance that he was able to corrupt me, but again, theories don’t matter. What matters is she sent them to me because she knew how Discord worked and was concerned for me. Again, she did the only thing she could do.”
“So… you claim that she did the right things when it was the only thing she could do… Maybe so, but what about when she could do something? Like King Sombra? She knew Sombra had returned and still only sent you and your friends to face on The Mad King of Shadows!”
“...May I have time to think?” Twilight asked.
The figure sighed. “You may.”
Twilight sat down.
“Okay, I will admit… this actually stumped me for a bit,” Twilight conceded. “But when I think about it, what you said isn’t true. Celestia didn’t know Sombra had returned. Celestia only showed me that Sombra existed because she was explaining to me everything she knew about the Crystal Empire. Sombra’s return was not something that she was technically informed of.”
“That’s the best you can come up with?” the figure mocked. “That’s a pathetically feeble justification.”
“It’s still the truth,” Twilight insisted. “She sent me, my friends, Shining Armor and Princess Cadance only to secure the empire and fill it with hope and love instead of hatred and fear. Our combined abilities as the Elements of Harmony, captain of the guard, and the Princess of Love would be sufficient to restore the Crystal Empire to its former glory. I can’t fault her thought process on this.”
“But what if Sombra did return along with the empire? Given how often villains from one thousand years ago return, it wouldn’t be a stretch to assume he would have returned with it. At the very least, Luna could have accompanied you.”
“Well…” Twilight hummed. “Okay, I admit, that would have been nice to have Luna accompany us. We don’t spend nearly enough time together.”
“Indeed. Not only that, but Princess Luna knew the risks and wanted to help, but Celestia apparently thought your TEST was worth risking an entire kingdom over! Honestly, Luna should be the one in charge, not Celestia! Why did Celestia not see the danger?”
Twilight faltered.
“Well… Because… no one WAS in any real danger?”
The figure didn’t respond. Neither moved or were moved to speak for minutes. Twilight began to fidget, wondering if the figure before her had actually heard what she said.
“Are you bluffing again?”
“No,” Twilight said. “Argh, she keeps seeing right through me! I really don’t have an answer!”
“Okay then, enlighten me,” the figure challenged. “Why was there no danger?”
“No backing down now… maybe I can get her to do my work for me...” Twilight said. “How strong is Sombra?”
“Well, we don’t know, do we?” the figure replied.
“We do! Luna and Celestia were enough to defeat Sombra the first time. If things went sour, we could have easily sent a message to them and they could easily put Sombra down for another thousand years if they so chose and I…” Twilight’s eyes widened, “I would have failed my test.”
The figure looked like it was about to protest, but stopped.
Twilight hummed. “You know, the more I think about it, Sombra was more of a nuisance than an actual threat.”
“He was not! He was going to–”
“To do what?” Twilight interrupted, feeling she was on a roll. “To turn everyone into slaves? To create more of those crystals that the Crystal Heart blasted into smoke? If he had the power to defeat Celestia and Luna or destroy the Crystal Heart, he would have done it one thousand years ago. His victory would have been unpleasant, but we all would have come out of it unharmed.”
“Okay, point taken,” the figure grumbled. “But she still could have come and helped drive off Sombra! That’s a not risk any pony should take! Better she have a student that understands the value of danger then one who risks that much!”
Twilight gulped. A sheepish grin crept on her face as she rubbed the back of her head. “Well… uhhh… heheh… That’s… kinda my fault…”
“What do you mean?”
“I… kind of misinterpreted what Celestia said.” Twilight blushed. “Celestia did send me to do a task, but I thought I had to do it all by myself as part of a test. There’s a big problem with that line of thinking. If I had to do it myself, there would be no reason to send my brother, sister-in-law, and my friends there as well.”
“And… the reason you didn’t contact Celestia once you found Sombra?” the figure asked.
“I... still considered him a part of my test… and thought I had to deal with him too... so…. In hindsight… not one of my smarter moments.”
The figure’s expression went blank. It had not expected this.
“In fact, that’s my answer to everything you’ve just said.” Twilight found her smile again. “Celestia trusts me to make good decisions. She knows how analytical I am, and she knows that I always come prepared. Every time I’ve found myself in over my head it’s because I overestimated my abilities, not her. Parasprites, Diamond Dogs, all those dangers you mentioned? Celestia didn’t lift a hoof to help me with them because I didn’t ASK her to. If she always swooped in and solved all my problems for me, then I never would have been able to rise up to her level.”
“...I see,” the figure said coldly. “So you’ve chosen to interpret her neglect as a kind of parental love. It’s almost frightening how much she’s brainwashed you.” The figure began to pace again, slowly drawing closer. “And suppose you HAD asked for help, on the occasions when she wasn’t just as powerless as you were. Do you really think she would have come for you?”
“I know it.”
“You’re wrong.” The figure’s eyes flashed wickedly. “And I can prove it.”
Twilight took a deep breath, placed her hoof to her chest, and exhaled. “No you can’t,” she argued. “Celestia has always been there for me.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure. Remember your brother? A wedding? An imposter?” The figure spat out that last word as if it offended her tongue. “The point when she completely betrayed your trust after you tried to point out a potential danger? In a state of heightened security? When all of Canterlot was nearly consumed by soul-eating monsters, all because Celestia chose to ignore the warning of her most faithful student?”
Celestia’s words drifted back to her. “You have a lot to think about.”
Twilight’s heart felt as if it had been stabbed. She struggled to maintain her composure, but it was difficult; the shock of that wound had never really gone away. “Well…” she mumbled, fidgeting on her hooves. “Celestia wasn't around to see how Cadance was behaving. To her, my accusations came from nothing.”
“CELESTIA CHOSE THAT IMPOSTER OVER YOU!” the figure screamed, losing all pretense of regality. “SHE DISCARDED YOU LIKE TRASH! DID SHE NOT TRUST THE WORD OF HER “FAITHFUL STUDENT”? OR WERE YOU JUST NOT THAT IMPORTANT TO HER?!”
“I… I…”
Twilight lowered her head to the floor, body shaking.
“I was a fool.”
The figure smiled - not cruelly or triumphantly, but the first genuine smile that had graced its face since Twilight had appeared. It stepped forward gently and sat down next to Twilight. “It’s alright, Princess,” the figure comforted her, putting its foreleg around Twilight. “I knew that this would not be easy for you. But now that the scales have fallen from your eyes, now we can–”
“No,” Twilight shrieked, pushing the figure away. “I was the fool in the wedding! Not Celestia! It was my fault!”
“What?” The figure drew back, scowl instantly returning. “How can you say that?! She should have trusted you! She should have at least considered what you said! You tried to tell her Cadance was evil and she didn't listen to you!”
“That's not the full story…” Twilight said, shame evident in her voice. “I barged into the wedding rehearsal with circumstantial evidence and slanderous accusations, and had the gall to just expect everyone to take my word for it without any solid ground to stand on.”
“Oh, now you’re being ridiculous,” the figure groaned. “It shouldn’t have mattered if no one else had seen what you saw. She still should have investigated! All of Canterlot–”
“My accusations didn’t have anything to do with the threat against Canterlot!” Twilight shouted. “No one had even guessed that changelings were involved at that point. All I knew was that I thought my brother was going to be marrying a rotten pony. To be honest, that’s one of the most normal things I’ve ever gotten that worked up about.” She rolled her eyes at herself, then sighed. “And even then, I shouldn’t have confronted her the way I did. The way I acted, there was no way anypony could have trusted me. I should have discussed it with somepony beforehand. That way I could have prevented making–”
“Discussed with whom?” the figure interrupted. “Your friends? They didn't listen! They thought you were just being possessive!”
Twilight paused. “I know that, but Chrysalis played us all for the fool… she had me and my friends manipulated up to that point. I can’t blame my friends for that. I still could have spoken with someone.”
“Like your brother? You thought he was being brainwashed! Why would you go to him?”
“Fair point,” Twilight conceded. She then looked the figure dead in the eye. “I could have gone to Celestia.”
"Why?" the figure screamed. “You couldn’t have gone to her! Because she..." The figure paused, its argument dying in its throat. “Because… because…”
“Why not?” Twilight insisted. “She’s always been there to listen to my problems and comfort me. So why should it be different here? I could have come to her with a problem as big as this before taking matters into my own hooves…”
“She could have…” The figure ground its teeth, looking around the room. “She should have… It’s her fault… She… she… Why did you do that on your own, you idiot?”
“Because... I felt that if I couldn't trust my friends... I had to do it on my own…” Twilight fell on her rump and looked down. “I was sad and... angry and wasn't thinking straight. I felt alone… But I wasn’t,” she clarified before her opponent could cut in. “She was always looking out for me. It’s not her fault if I forget that sometimes.”
“You have a way of blaming yourself for her failings.” The figure scowled. “Very well. And what about Tirek?”
“What about Tirek?” Twilight instantly brushed this off. “It’s the same conversation as before. She did everything she could to stop him, even if all that she could do was trust me. There’s nothing more to discuss.”
“Did she, though?” the figure pressed. “You and I remember those events differently. Don’t you think that all that happened might have been avoided if Celestia actually HAD trusted you, instead of... someone else?”
That first, fateful meeting echoed through Twilight’s mind again. “Discord.”
“Did she not see this plan backfiring?” the figure mocked. “Celestia trusted Discord, of all creatures, with capturing Tirek? She only had his half-hearted word that he was reformed, yet she immediately entrusted the spirit of disharmony with the safety of Equestria? Did it really surprise anyone when he betrayed you? Anypony would have been a better choice than HIM!”
Twilight’s face fell, looking as if she were about to cry.
The figure grinned. Perhaps it had finally got through to her.
“Again, that… is my fault.”
The figure’s eyes widened. Surely Twilight couldn’t find a way to cover for that as well!
“Do you remember when Discord tricked me by pretending to have the blue flu?”
“Yes.” The figure snarled, its flat teeth suddenly turning into fangs. “A cruel and deceitful trick befitting of that monster.”
“Wrong.” Twilight gritted her own teeth. “If you think about it, Discord was forced to FAKE AN ILLNESS in order for me to pay attention to him.” She looked down. “I knew better than anyone that friendship isn’t always easy, but I still let all my responsibilities fall on Fluttershy instead of teaching him myself. I failed my duties as the Element of Magic and Princess of Friendship so badly that Discord had to reach out to me instead of me reaching out to him. Thinking back, I was really cruel to him, only tolerating his presence rather than actually trying to be a friend to him… Sometimes I think my friends are more worthy of my crown than I am…”
“But how does that justify Celestia trusting Discord?”
“Celestia trusted Discord because she trusted me. She trusted me as the Bearer of the Element of Magic and the Princess of Friendship to befriend Discord sufficiently so that his allegiance to us was assured.”
"But don't you see? This would never have happened if you hadn’t trusted Celestia! Neither of you had proof you could trust Discord!"
"That's what friends do!” Twilight rebutted. “They trust each other! True friends don’t need proof for that!"
“You don’t… need proof?” the figure repeated, raising an eyebrow. “Oh, I see how it is. You have to trust her no matter how bad her decisions are, but she only has to trust you when she needs something from you. Do you not see that what you think is ‘trust’ is in actuality a very dangerous blind faith? If she were to tell you to jump off a cliff to your imminent doom, I suppose you would?”
“Yes, actually.”
“Oh my goddesses, you can’t be serious.”
“I am,” Twilight affirmed. “Celestia has always been testing me and watching out for me. Why would it be different there? Something very similar happened with Applejack when she told me to let go, and I came out better for that. Besides...” Twilight spread her newest appendages, “...wings.”
“You’re missing the point of what I’m saying! You need to take control of your own destiny!” A burst of magic violently wrenched Celestia’s crown from its place above the pedestal and dropped it into the figure’s hoof. It held it out to Twilight once again, seething. “Celestia needs to stop worming her way into every little decision you make! She doesn’t own you! You need to stop serving the role of Celestia’s personal lapdog and make your own choices and decisions! It’s the right thing to do! It’s what you SHOULD do!”
Twilight paused. “You want me to make my own decision? You want me to carve my own destiny? Very well.”
Twilight’s magic surrounded Celestia’s crown, ripping it from the figure’s hoof. A brilliant lavender beam shot from Twilight’s horn, shattering the crown into a dozen metal shards. The figure’s jaw dropped, choked sounds and gasps escaping her throat.
“W-what have you done?” The figure stammered, its knees failing.
“I chose,” Twilight stated. “I chose her instead of you. I may forget this a lot and have to relearn it constantly, but my friends are always there for me when I need them. And guess what? My oldest friend is Princess Celestia, and I will never turn on her.”
The light behind Twilight suddenly burst outward, sending a shockwave that threw the figure off its hooves. Crashing to the ground, it raised its head but was forced to shield its eyes from the light behind Twilight. Three silhouettes in the shape of two alicorns and a unicorn slowly came into view.
As the light died down, the unicorn cried out in elation:
“We found her!” Sunset Shimmer cheered.
“Princess Celestia! Princess Luna!” Twilight squealed. “Sunset Shimmer! You came for me!”
“Of course we did, Twilight,” Celestia comforted, pulling her student into an embrace. “I would never abandon you.”
Celestia’s eyes drifted to the shattered remains of her crown on the floor. A small smirk crept on her face. "Oh, I see you've blown up my missing crown."
"Sorry, Celestia,” Twilight said sheepishly. “I felt I had to make a point."
"Oh, it doesn’t matter,” Celestia giggled. “I'll just get another out of the cupboard."
“But how did you find me?” Twilight asked. “And Sunset? Why are you here?”
“Nice to see you too,” Sunset joked. “Kind of funny, really. A couple days ago I got a weird letter asking me to return to Equestria. Something about helping you usher in a new era, free from the ‘tyranny of Celestia.’ It seemed fishy, so I came back. Unfortunately for your friend here, she was so confident you'd be on her side that she didn't bother to cover her tracks. We ran a dimensional trace on her letter and it led us right to here.”
Their gazes returned to the fallen figure at the end of the room. Cautiously, it got back up to its hooves and began to back away, glowering at the group. “Now, who is the foal who dared try to steal our dear Princess Twilight Sparkle away from us?” Luna growled, her horn flaring.
“Don’t bother,” Twilight Sparkle said, cutting her off. “I already know.”
The figure hesitated. “You do?”
“Of course.” Twilight strode forward. “For somepony who claims to be so clever, you need to learn to watch what you say. You didn’t think I’d find it suspicious that you have such intimate knowledge of my adventures? The way you talk, the way you move, the way seem to know everything that goes on inside my head except for what matters most?”
The hood and coat flew off the figure’s body, revealing a grayish-purple unicorn. Her crimson eyes radiated boundless hatred and anger. Her striped mane flowed with starry magic. Her cutie was that of…
Six stars surrounding a starburst.
“You’re me,” Twilight said.
Her double lowered her head into an aggressive stance. “No,” she growled. “I am so much more than that.”
Sunset Shimmer wrinkled her nose. “More like so much less, by the looks of you,” she said.
Luna and Sunset fanned out, circling around the false Twilight from the sides. The fake eyed them warily, awkwardly shuffling to keep them in her field of view, but she kept her horn and steely glare fixed on Twilight and Celestia. Twilight watched her doppelganger with as much curiosity as anger. Now that the sunlight was falling on her her colours seemed muted, as though she was cast in a shadow that fell on her alone. Her features appeared to shift faintly across her face with each motion. Her limbs were slightly the wrong length, every angle cut from a different mould, more like a hazy memory of a pony than a flesh and blood creature.
“What... are you?” Twilight asked.
The fake curled her lip, but didn’t answer. “Speak!” Luna ordered. “Why have you stolen the form of our beloved Twilight Sparkle?”
“Stolen?” The other Twilight chuckled grimly. “That’s a laugh. Why would I want to steal anything from her?”
They stared each other down. “You’re me,” Twilight said slowly. “Doesn’t that mean–”
“Wrong again,” the other Twilight interrupted. “I am NOTHING like you, Twilight Sparkle! You allow yourself to be a slave! To let this tyrant manipulate and control you! I offered you the chance to be free, but like a FOAL you choose to cling to your pathetic little comfort zone!”
Twilight looked up at Celestia. She could see her mentor’s eyes tighten, like she were studying this new Twilight.
“I’m not sure, my faithful student,” Celestia admitted. “I’ve never seen an apparition like this. She looks like you, thinks she is you… and yet is not like you. This… false Twilight is full of a terrifying resentment…”
“And said resentment seems to be directed at you, dear sister,” Luna observed.
“I am who Twilight should be!” False Twilight exclaimed. “I exist to set things right! Everything here is wrong and it will be corrected!”
“Corrected?” Twilight repeated. “What are you talking about?”
False Twilight said nothing, instead choosing to glare at Celestia. Her expression suddenly softened before turning into a venomous sneer.
“Maybe I can finally fix all of this now that everyone is here,” False Twilight said. “Yes… now that I think about it, this is much better for us. The three best candidates for replacing the tyrant have arrived, and I get to see the great Celestia fall, right here and now!” False Twilight let out a chilling laugh. “Ironic, them coming to save you has sealed Celestia’s fate. I want to see you all worm her way out of this one…”
“What do you mean?” Celestia asked.
“Princess Celestia…” False Twilight smirked. “...Why did you ascend us to princess-hood without our permission?”
“She what?” Sunset asked, a small bit of surprise in her tone.
Celestia narrowed her eyes and stood firm.
“Really, you made us, US, of all ponies, into a Princess?” False Twilight inquired, her voice gradually getting angier. “You entrusted powerful alicorn magic in the hooves of a mentally unstable unicorn who thought the Want-It-Need-It Spell was a good idea? You gave the very same unicorn the responsibility of running a kingdom… Without asking her first? Are you really that inconsiderate and stupid? You changed us forever and you never considered how we might have felt about the whole thing! We are not the same pony as we were before our ascension! Why did you change us under this bullcrap excuse about destiny? Answer me!”
Celestia closed her eyes, keeping silent. Neither Luna nor Sunset moved to her defense; even they were struck silent, waiting for her response. Twilight concealed a shiver. Was Celestia not going to defend herself? Was no one going to say anything to help her? “Listen, you can’t–” she started.
“Twilight.” Celestia opened her eyes and turned to Twilight, her expression forlorn. “Do you hate me for my decision?”
“No, I don’t!” Twilight replied automatically. “That’s ridiculou–”
“No, Twilight, I want you to think harder about this,” Celestia admonished. Her regal form moved over to Twilight and sat down in front of her. Celestia’s somber eyes locked with Twilight’s.
“Twilight Sparkle... do you feel any resentment towards me over my decision to make you into an alicorn?”
Twilight’s gaze drifted to the floor as she considered the question. Her mind drifted back to the time when she first ascended. She recalled feelings of confusion and anxiety, wondering if she would be up to the task… but also feelings of pride. She remembered the smile she had on her face during her coronation. She remembered the proud looks of her friends and family as she walked by them. She remembered the delighted cheers of the crowds as they called out her name.
“No… I don’t resent you,” Twilight answered. “Ever since my ascension, you’ve been there every step of the way to help me adjust and comfort me when I didn’t feel up to the task. Besides, being a princess is something I’ve always wanted, ever since seeing you at my first Summer Sun Celebration. The more I think about it, my ascension was the most logical next step in my growth as a pony. I was a groomed to be a princess ever since I got my cutie mark… it was inevitable.”
“But you SHOULD feel angry!” False Twilight screamed. “You SHOULD hate her!”
Twilight’s horn flared. The other Twilight flinched back, eyes wide with fear.
“Excuse me?” Twilight snarled, voice laced with venom. “You and I may be similar, but YOU ARE NOT ME. You are not in control of my life. My feelings are my choice, not yours. Celestia made me a princess without asking me first? Forgive my pottymouth, but anypony could see I just don’t give a darn.”
The other Twilight said nothing. A deep rumbling came from the walls, slowly gaining strength. Lightning crackled outside, windows smashed inwards, and an ominous gale pierced the room. False Twilight’s form flickered, a murderous expression frozen on her face.
“You…” False Twilight growled. “You… one-dimensional… careless… naive… PUPPET! You are a tool! A plaything! You don’t deserve your crown! I actually question things! I see things as for what they really are! I deserve everyone’s admiration! I deserve Celestia and Luna’s admiration! You are all of you beneath m-!”
The quaking stopped. False Twilight was suddenly wrapped in a blue aura and lifted off ground. Without warning, she was smashed against the ground, lifted up, smashed, quickly lifted, and smashed again. The room became quiet, only False Twilight’s muffled whimpers filling the silence.
The other ponies looked at Luna in shock.
“What? I felt threatened!” Luna protested. “Besides, her antics vexed our neves. I don’t know how you were able to keep your sanity for all that time she was waxing poetic in our absence, Twilight Sparkle. I commend your patience.”
Twilight rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Always so direct…”
Celestia walked forwards, stopping at the defeated other Twilight. Upon seeing Celestia’s form above her, the other Twilight tried to crawl away, but her limbs refused to respond from the pain.
“No…” she mumbled, spitting. “S-stay away from me… I hate you...”
“But why?” Celestia asked. “I’ve only done what I thought was best for you. I’ve given you so much happiness and joy over the years. You wanted so much, and I gave them to you when you earned them. Every struggle that has come your way has made you better, and when it didn’t, I protected you in any way I could.”
“You changed things!” False Twilight screamed. “Everything was fine before my ascension! I enjoyed just being your faithful student and just having small, harmless adventures with my friends! Nothing had to change! Why did you make everything change?”
“Because you were destined for greatness,” Celestia answered, a small grin appearing on her face. “I saw the potential in you to be great and I wanted you to have that. I may have provided opportunities, but in the end, you became great of your own actions. It was certainly hard, but you came out of each struggle braver, smarter, stronger, and a more loving pony. You made me so proud. I did all of this for you because I love you.”
False Twilight’s eyes widened.
“Y-you’re lying...” she spat. “You’re evil. You’re not proud of me. You don’t love me. You NEVER lov–”
A magical slap with a golden aura silenced the False Twilight’s speech. Celestia looked behind her to find Sunset Shimmer’s horn glowing.
“Don’t you DARE say something so stupid!” Sunset Shimmer snapped. “Celestia has done NOTHING but try to protect and care for you and you’re spitting in her face like a spoiled brat. Do you have any idea how lucky you were to have her as your teacher?! Do you have any idea what you’re throwing away? The only thing that should be coming out of your mouth is ‘Please forgive me, your Momjesty!’”
Twilight blinked.
“Y-you call her that too.”
Sunset Shimmer eyes widened as she realized what she just said. Sunset looked off to the side, her coat suddenly becoming a bright shade of red.
“Uh… m-maybe.”
“Enough!” The False Twilight snarled. Through gritted teeth, she got back on her hooves and wobbled forwards. “You all cling to every filthy lie she spews at you! Are you all so blind as to not see how power-hungry she is? How can you defend and rationalize everything this tyrant and troll does and refuse to see things for how they really are?! Look at all the atrocities she’s committed using the shoddy excuse of helping me grow! She has done nothing but try to control me! She’s evil! She’s–”
False Twilight’s leg caught on the discarded cloak. She fell into a crumpled heap and bent her leg backwards. She hissed in pain, clutching and protecting her wounded leg.
Celestia’s heart broke the longer she observed this twisted mockery of her faithful student. Her tears finally fell as False Twilight rocked back and forth on the ground, wailing in anguish.
“She’s evil…” False Twilight moaned. “She doesn’t care about me… She’s a tyrant… She doesn’t love me…”
Sunset growled. “Look here, you stupid–”
“Sunset,” Luna chided. “Enough.”
“What?”
“The apparition is too locked in her paranoia and hatred to admit she was wrong, as is likely whatever created it,” Luna observed. “There’s nothing more we can do for her now.”
“She doesn’t love me…” False Twilight sobbed, unaware of anything going on around her. “She doesn’t love me… She doesn’t love me...”
“You’re right…” Sunset affirmed. “We should go.”
“To leave her wallowing in her bitterness and sadness…” Celestia sighed, blinking her tears away. “It pains me to admit, but this is probably for the best. I wish with all my heart we could do something to help her...”
“You tried, Princess Celestia.” Sunset assured. “Maybe she’ll forgive you someday, but not today.”
Celestia smiled at Sunset Shimmer and nodded, walking away from False Twilight.
“Let us go, Twilight. Your friends and your kingdom are waiting for you.”
Princess Twilight nodded, stepping away from her copy. As she followed her friends into the light, she allowed herself one last passing glance behind her. With a bittersweet smile, Twilight turned away and left.
“You, and whatever created you… I hope one day you will learn to pursue seeing the good in others.”
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Holy $%*&. You posted a new story? Ok then Josh lets see what you got for us this time.
Annnnd stuffing into PC.
Possibly the best line in the story. I loved that.
Ladies and gentlemen: The greatest debate in fanfic history.
Just finished. Liked and added to favorites. That was freaking awesome.
It was well written. I did not see a single spelling error or mistake. It was thought provoking. It was intelligent. It made me get up and think things out a bit. It made me laugh, it made me smile and it ended in a way that makes me wish this was just the first part in a longer story, yet at the same time also feeling like a satisfying conclusion, it dose not need any more then this.
Well done Josh. Well done.
My only question is what the hell actually was the fake Twilight?
Other than that, that was a pretty nice read.
Need a sequel. Who is that fake Twilight?
Also I feel I must point that if you want to do a lecture fic, this is how. The moment AltTwi started preaching, i knew who it was beneath that hood and while I normally don't like it when I can guess it so easily, having the antagonist be AltTwi served the story too well. Too often lecture fics have the lecture handed down by author's mouthpiece (sometimes the author's human form arrogantly enough) and is accepted as the word of god, but here there's actual debate. Twilight doesn't just take it even if some of AltTwi's barbs did manage to draw some blood, she instead returned fire and even left AltTwi ultimately stumped.
Only two things really bothered me. First off the battle against Nightmare Moon. Celestia isn't weaker than her sister, but she had her hooves tied because she wanted to save Luna, not hurt her. She could have battled with Luna in the show, but instead she got to the elements which she probably believed (or wanted to believe) could help Luna somehow.
Second, and this is one that continously pisses me off: CELESTIA DID NOT TURN TWILIGHT INTO AN ALICORN!
Seriously, fucking watch it! 0:09
What transforms Twilight comes from her in the first place! Celestia merely lead her and taught Twilight, what ultimately turned her into an alicorn came from within! Also notice it literally came from the heart. Seriously, how do people keep missing that?!
5639873 HOLY SHIT! HOW DID I MISS THAT!
5639949 Same way everyone else, you were too busy being floored by Celestia's singing.
5639957 Dat voice doh.
5639960 Aye. I may or may not have that song on my ipod.
Wow
This was really fun
I am on both sides of the fence when it comes to these Fan Fic simply because they are both fun to read, but this was just a blast and really got ,e to really challenge myself as i was reading.
Reading all of the 'Crimes' that Celestia committed, i was content to see where this Bash fic or what ever it may have been lead me, but after the second rebuttal i challenged myself to try to fund the flaws after that.
And, surprisingly, I kinda had the same view points.
Except when the imposter brought up the Wedding that just confused me for some reason (Just me).
I do find it sad that they did just leave the imposter there, but i see why.
What could they DO for her.
She could not trust a Mail Stamp of Celestia Cutiemark to send her letter via Dragon mail.
The only thing Imposter did not touch was Alicorn Imortality, but i assume they know Cadance and Twilight are just Alicorn Mortals...
Demi-Alicorns?
Anyway great Piece Joke.
I found it a bit over the top. It's not true for example that Twilight misinterpreted what Celestia was saying when she sent Twilight out to face Sombra. Celestia really did tell Twilight to rely only on herself. But of course the real point of the test was whether Twilight would be prepared to use her own independent judgement or just follow orders to the bitter end. I suspect that if Twilight had flunked Celestia and Luna would have shown up in time to stop Sombra, although that might very well have meant that the Crystal Empire goes bye-bye for another thousand years if Sombra was defeated by brute force rather than by the "correct" way.
And more than that the impression I got by the end was that creator of the false Twilight was in fact the real Twilight who still isn't prepared to admit to herself that she feels the even slightest bit of resentment at having been plucked from her comfort zone and so has created that pitable creature as a receptacle for any slightly negative thought.
5639873
Uh...no actually. Yes, Twilight Sparkle ascended by finishing the incomplete spell. But who sent her that spell so she'd finish it and ascend? No, Twilight's ascension was very definitely something she was lured into by Celestia in cunning schemer mode. Not that I think being a cunning schemer is all that bad a trait in a ruler.
I seem to recall you mentioning how much you HATE "Celestia is Evil" fics...
“It’s called delegation,” Twilight explained. “If Celestia stopped to fix every single problem in her kingdom herself, she wouldn’t have time to breathe. She’s a pony just like you or me and we need to respect that.”
Great story I like the story's when Celestia is NOT an idiot or evil.
5639873
Celestia flees in fear of Luna, like clear and abject terror. And it takes a single blast of FORCE which is not Luna's forte in combat to bring Celestia down. Who is and isn't more potent in total sum of their abilities we don't know and the canon answer is probably equal, but when it comes to which princess is the warrior it has been consistently shown the answer is Luna.
Authority does not equal Asskicking.
5640050
Yeah, same.
"How's Sunset Shimmer?"
People forget that line way too often it says a god damn lot about Celestia.
Very nice. Thanks for writing this.
I DISAGREE BECAUSE OF REASONS
Fantastic story, Josh.
*applauds*
WELL DONE, and a story that needs to have been written.
dailypicksandflicks.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/oh-i-see-what-you-did-there-baby.jpg
Since no-one else seems to have said it here, I shall.
The false Twilight was 'made' by all the people who think that Celestia is a tyrant and/or a troll, and this fic uses evidence from the show, and common sense, to dispute those thoughts. I liked how you showed how those arguments are typically taken by those people through false Twilight.
I will say, however, that I don't mind the glaring plot-hole in those 'Twilight usurps/turns evil because Celestia is an idiot' fics. I guess I can just tune it out and appreciate the fiction more... or something. In any case, a brilliant piece. Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
5640427
Don't make stuff up. She said she wasn't going to fight Luna and stuck to that. Also she took a blast from Nightmare Moon that had been destroying rather large chunks of their castle and got right back up. You can't claim Luna is the warrior just off what we've seen in the show. She gets one lucky hit and assumes she's won. Yeah, what an excellent warrior.
5640050
Considering it was the elements that changed her and not the spell (Twilight still not figuring out that saying magic spells in front of the Elements has bizarre reactions) and that is something Celestia could not have seen coming since she was already an alicorn at the time of her and Luna discovering the Tree of Harmony and the fact the Elements had spent the last millennium inert. Celestia put Twilight on the path, but she only provided the spell as a means of a tests as Starswhirl merely got the jist of friendship and not the whole concept. She could not have known the Elements would have acted like that since the only other case of an ascended alicorn (cadence) didn't involve the elements at all.
I believe it's quite possible you missed one of the points in this story that Celestia isn't omniscient. Celestia merely lead Twilight, it was Twilight who ultimately caused the alicornification to happen.
I can think of several authors who write twilight like that false Twilight. one of which (I'm not going to say any names, unless I'm talking directly to them), does this as well as making his stories serve as nothing more than Author Tracts bashing the quality of post season 2 episodes, or just acting like a scum-sucker, on other writer's stories.
5640851
Eenope. The first time we saw that Star Swirl notebook was at the end of the Sombra episode with both princesses pleased that Twilight Sparkle has passed the test. Luna takes it out and indicates that they are going to give it to her. It takes a whole season for Celestia to get around to it but I can only interpret that as "Yes, Twilight Sparkle is worthy". And you haven't considered what the spell was even for. I mean what did it do except for correct a problem that only existed because it was miscast?
Most of all, the moment Twilight blasts herself into hyperspace, Celestia is right there, and knows exactly what's going on. This is what she expected to happen. Impressive as it is to plan this ascension, it's not as impressive as the planning that went into sending Twilight to Ponyville to save the world (but then she has a thousand years to work on that one), and it isn't as impressive as it would be for Celestia to instantly know and understand what was was going on if she had no advance knowledge that ascension might happen. Which of course she did have, since she already had at least one example of an ascended alicorn to study and learn from. Cadence.
5641413 There are like 6 logic fail in your statement that I just can't be arsed to address right now. For one, why would Starsquirrel make an alicornification spell that needs the Elements of Harmony to work when he wasn't a wielder of them?
Second, Celestia was there as she was for Cadence when she became an alicorn as well. Just because she's there doesn't mean she freaking caused it. Correlation =/= causation.
5640851
No she just had to summoned god to fight instead.
Tirek episode.
Luna- I wanna go kick it.
Celestia- I'ma send someone else to kick it.
Luna by her nature is far more willing to directly confront threats, and with how magic works in the ponyverse that means more combat magic.
And of course she was dumb as nightmare moon, i explicitly pointed out how she wasn't even fighting to her shown strenghs in that fight.
5641914 She was trying to use the elements to get Luna back to normal again. She didn't want to hurt her sister.
She was trying to use the one being that could detect Tirek and could reliably overpower him as opposed to risking beefing him up on Alicorn magic. Being a warrior takes more than a retarded "Hulk Smash!" viewpoint, it also takes strategy and cunning.
What shown strengths are you talking about?! Luna has never fought anyone before aside from zapping some guards with lightnging which she used a maximum of one time in battle. All the other times she's fought, she used those beams. Stop making up stuff.
Did I just see a reasoned, methodical, well-researched and well-thought-out piece of rhetoric...ON THE INTERNET?
The day has been made. I will have to abstain from 4chan for a while to prevent this new-found faith in humanity from falling to pieces.
Celestia took steps that allowed Twilight's ascension to happen
Nicely done. I concur, largely with your thinking.
I suspect a large part of it all is good (i.e. bad) old-fashioned anti-authoritarianism, as Celestia is the authority figure.
It's like those people who profess to hate Dumbledore and paint him more evil than Voldemort for not waving his hand and making it all not be happening (and incidently meaning there would never have been a story to be told for them to have read), and yet who would throw a screaming fit if he actually did that because it wouldn't be the main character (who they relate to) doing it.
Some people just DO NOT like the idea that someone, somewhere could tell them what do to and that bleeds through sometimes.
Sigh
Did no one,
NO ONE.
LEARN ANYTHING FROM THE CONVERSION/ANTI-CONVERSION DAYS?!?!
Ok, look, I get it, you can't see Celestia turning evil or being dumb, that's fine. I can't stand most of those stories too, I only ever found a hand full of Celestia-insn't-all-that fics that I really like.
But here is the thing. What made those stories fail was all they were filled with was straw-manning and opinions that were not supported by the cannon, being treated as fact. Which is exactly what you did here. Just pointed in another direction.
Anti-Twi is not a character, she is an empty body that you call nothing more then "bitterness and resentment" therefore silencing valid things that people bring up to say Celestia may be somewhat stupid. Not all of them are always valid mind you, and you had some good bits in the beginning of give and take of ideas. But you screwed it all up by just going full "everyone who says ______ about Celestia is evil because there is no way that Celestia could be evil!" If you had been willing to surrender some points and not just have Celestia's opposer be evil this could have been a good character analysis story on two takes on Celestia's character from a pony who likes her and one who does not like her. Hell if you wanted to go AU Twi, make her more interesting, maybe she SUCCESSFULLY dethroned Celestia and Equestria is doing fine without her, parhaps in HER universe all these things WERE malevolently done and she is trying to warn others, yet as she stands, she is just a cardboard cutout to place all the people who don't agree with your thoughts.
This is exactly what happened in the conversion days, people thought the conversion stories were all stupid and nonfactual, so they made stupid nonfactual pro-human stories that came out just as bad. The pendulum swings both ways, neither ends of an extreme is good, just as total anarchy is horrifying, total order without any freedom is just as terrifying. A Celestia that is pure evil is just people trying to force their ideas on others, just as a Celestia who has a valid excusable understandable reason for everything shes done because it's pure evil to even question her actions, is just as stupid and ridiculous, every character needs give and take. Benevolence and Good do not always fall on the same side of the scale.
I was practically groaning when you said "Lawl Twilight can turn the world to ash cause reasons and it doesn't mater that she has shown no signs of doing so in the show because she can move the sun so it makes sense!" May I remind you that we know that the unicorns use to move the sun, so why in the tribe wars didn't they just obliterate any-pony who disagreed with them? we don't know enough about that kind of magic yet in cannon to make jumps of logic like that. Celestia couldn't overpower a god-damn bug jumped up on magic. I highly doubt she can destroy Equestria.
Other then that, writing was good, didn't see many errors, the flow was nice, it was just the right size to get the point you were trying to make across.
As a story I give it a solid 5-6.5-9/10 Its a five if you enjoy stories about Tyrant!Celestia, a solid Six Oh Five (Hell, round that up to a seven if you like!) if (like me) you don't really swing one way or the other.
and a nine if Celestia is your waifu.
~Spymanx
(If any Questions, Comments or worries about any of my reviews arise, MSG me, I'm new, opinionated and blinded! I am open for ideas on how to improve.)
5642311
What are the conversion days?
NMM was defeated in under two minutes.
Thumbs down for the bait and switch. If you want to polish Celestia's rectum in public, at least have the decency to be honest about it. Sometimes I really wish FimFic had rules about misleading descriptions.
Awful. Just awful.
5642414
Now, now, don't be rude.
My target audience for this fic are people who hate Celestia because "she's stupid and Twilight should usurp her." If I were honest about the description, the only people who would read my story would be people who already saw Celestia as the benevolent ruler she is aka preaching to the choir.
"The healthy do not need a doctor, but the sick do."
-Jesus Christ
Some may argue that this is a rant disguised as a story. To that I say, well, it's not a bad disguise. But it is a disguise nonetheless.
As a commentary on Tyrant Celestia stories, this is solid stuff. Barring some headcanon territory, you succeed in making a compelling argument defending Celestia's benevolent nature. But does it stand on its own as a story when a blog post would've sufficed? Eh, just barely. It's true that the battle of wits between Twilight and her doppelgänger had some weight to it. It wasn't an easy victory, but an actual debate. The problem lies in the ambiguity of False!Twilight's true nature. At some point, you realize that she is just a straw pony meant to argue for the losing side and nothing more. Little tidbits such as Sunset Shimmer being shoehorned into the plot also threw me off. Seriously, she didn't really need to be there; the story would have been just fine without her.
It saddens me to say this, but I can't give this my full recommendation. I agree with the points you made as an adamant defender of Celestia's benevolence myself, and for what it's worth, it's not badly written. I just don't think this meta-contextual topic warranted being made into a full-fledged story when you could've just made a blog entry or video about your thoughts on the subject. That's just my opinion, though.
5642429
Hating Celestia is a sickness now? And you have some moral imperative to convince people to see Celestia your way? How does that work?
You wasted five minutes of my life because you want to take a shot at people who hate Celestia. Please write an actual description.
5642435
Fair enough.
5642446
Please stop being rude.
I was being metaphorical concerning the quote, please don't take that literally.
5642453
You know whats rude? Bait and switch. Also, I suggest better metaphors. Likening someone's personal preferences on how a character is depicted to a sickness is less than stellar. It too is rude.
5642468
Okay, I apologize for using an improper metaphor. It was not my intention to offend you. I'll be more careful in the future.
Now, I don't see bait and switch as rude. Underhanded, maybe, but far from rude. I struggle to understand why this bothers you so much. Can we have a civil discussion about it?
5642435
What would you recommend changing?
5642554 The best way to improve this story (or in fact make it more than simple commentary) is to make False!Twilight an actual character. Flesh out her origins; show us why she is the way she is by gradually unmasking her bit by bit as the battle of wits rages on. Is she a dark portion of Twilight's own psyche? A changeling infiltrator trying to make Twilight turn on her mentor? A version of Twilight from another dimension where her arguments are justified? These are just a few possibilities I came up with off the top of my head, and of course, you can come up with your own if you wish. Just give her more depth than simply being a straw pony for Twilight to defeat.
As I mentioned, you could also cut Sunset Shimmer from the story. She doesn't really serve much of a purpose, or if she does, I don't see it.
If you're really serious about making this a philosophical story that stands on its own and not just meta-contextual commentary, then this is the best advice I can give. Otherwise, like I said before, it's a solid bit of writing.
5642817
I see. I did intentionally keep her origins vague, but I'll take your recommendation into consideration.
Also, I really wanted to include Sunset Shimmer because at the same time, she's also a foil to False Twilight and to offer something else to the conversation. If you have any suggestions on how to improve getting that across, I would be glad to hear it.
5642403 I do believe he is referring to the months following the release of the fanfic " the conversion beau" ( spelling >_<)
It's a decent polemic. Some sophistry. The Other is too much an idiot to hold the argument. A table with legs shorter on one side. Fast fourth wall break, links in the text, not to my subjective opinion. Strange note to leave the Other as they did. Enjoyed the Other's identity.
The set targeted in the polemic isn't a very visible one, I claim. Did they merit the polemic at all? Their stuff doesn't get much attention.
Enjoyed it from my seat in the choir.
Don't entertain people who don't understand it's a polemic.
5642403 Eh sorry, I should have specified.
After the now very controversial The Conversion Bureau story was released, there was a huge conflict between the two groups. The people who said "Oh shit living in Equestria sounds great everyone gets to be a pony and there are all these perks and everyone is happy! This is the best fanfic ever!" and the Anti-bureau group who said "Oh shit! These ponies came to our world, called us fat, lazy and evil and this story is saying we somehow destroyed our worlds because being human is monstrous! This is the most misanthropic fanfic ever!" The two groups didn't agree to make a long story short.
The Pro group posted a bunch of bad wish fulfillment stories about all of filthy humanity becoming ponies (that somehow had elements MORE creepy and horrifying then the original) the Anti group posted a bunch of bad wish fulfillment stories about murdering all the ponies because humans are better then everyone (ironically just showing humans as bloodthirsty warmongers, the same thing that everyone got so pissed about in the first place)
Yeah it got really bad. I envy you if you never had to deal with it. Honestly, I just got tired of seeing strawmen after strawmen, the same characters just spouting different words from different authors that show that "I'M THE GOOD GUY" or "I'M SATAN!" Honestly, I do apologize if you felt I was a bit too hard on Anti-Twi being a strawman, its just my writing pet-peeve.
Hope that clarified that!
~Spymanx
5642837
5642435
5642311
Heh. You know what's funny?
Right before she herself appeared, I was convinced the hooded one was actually Celestia in disguise. That this was an elaborate ruse to push herself off the throne for all her failures (real or imagined) and instal somepony she found more fitting. I mean, how did Fake!Twilight even know Celestia forbade Luna to come to the Crystal Empire? Did she hear them from all the way from over at the door?
I'm not ashamed to admit I was hoping for a big sweeping battle a la Ventus v. Vanitus, especially with the music. But the way it went it was fairly good. I did think it was a bit overly cheesy but for what it's worth much more enjoyable than those type of fixs you mentioned. All in all good story josh
5642837 Well, if you're that adamant about keeping Sunset in the story, give her a bit more to do and say. Rereading it again, you do establish a good reason for her to be there; I just felt her contribution to the conversation to be lacking compared to Celestia and Luna.