Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR
The Return of Har-meow-ny
Part 3
“So what's the plan then?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“I would think that would be simple darling. We get the Elements of Harmony and we make another tacky lawn ornament out of him.” Rarity added.
“We must take our leave. The guards need to be organized to offer aid to the chaos stricken city.” Princess Luna chimed up her horn glowing as a massive steel battle ax was pulled from behind a curtain.” And we must go protect our save files.”
The group blinked as Princess Luna trotted out of the room giving the massive weapon a few experimental swings on the way out.
“Was it just me, or did that ax have a stethoscope wrapped around tha handle?” Applejack questioned.
“Cool!” Dash, Pinkie, and Spike chimed in at the sight of the massive weapon.
“There is no way that isn't just an honorary degree.” Twilight grumbled glaring at the ax.
“Come, the Element's are stored in a vault in the north tower.” Princess Celestia rolled her eyes at her sister before leading the group out of the throne room down the hall toward the north tower. Turning another corner they came face to face with a solid wall with only a small janitor's closet tucked into a corner nearby. There were also a number of golden bolts on the floor for some reason .
Celestia's horn glowed brightly and the bare wall before them peeled away brick by brick revealing a large rolling steel door with a faded number and a barely legible word which looked like salt but with a 'u'.
Another glow and that door rolled aside with a horrible scream of old metal showing another steel wall.
More glowing and that door opened up like an iris showing a massive wooden wall with a large pit before it.
Anther glow and the door dropped down like a draw bridge showing a steel door with numerous ridges in it.
More glowy horn and the door rolled up like blinds showing a set of red velvet curtains which Celestia pushed aside before walking through a curtain of rattling beads into a fair sized room lining with stained glass windows. At the far side of the room was a massive vault set into a pillar marked with the same cutie marks that adorned the mares flanks.
“Gee, this certainly doesn't scream 'hey look at me I’m important'.” Spike snarked.
“Really wise guy, then what would you do?” Dash questioned.
“Leave this here and set a trap on it. Then put the real treasure in like a decorative flower pot or something.” Spike grumbled.”I bet they're not even in there because this was too obvious.”
“Pfft, Princess Celestia wouldn't put something as important as the Elements of Harmony some where they could be taken.” Dash scoffed.
“Bet?”
“Ten bits, you're on.” Dash responded.
“Will you two stop trying to jinx us!?” Twilight growled.
Celestia ignored them placing her horn in the lock and letting her magic flow through it before drawing her head back as the tumblers whirled and the door lit up before opening revealing a heavily jeweled case.
“Ooh.... keep the Element's but I’ll happily take that case off your hooves.” Rarity cood.
“Hah pay up!” Dash grinned.
“Pfft all I see is a box some one glued lunch to.” Spike scoffed.” Bet stands until that's opened.”
Rahs took that moment to cuff the pair of them in the back of their heads glaring down at the pegasus and dragon.
“Woof!”
“I'm not jinxing it I’m trying to win back my bits for who the villain was.” Spike growled.
“Yeah me too, I mean I never expected Rarity to win with that cursed lover thing. It might not have been spot on but it was close enough for the booking.” Dash sighed as Rarity adopted a smug smirk.
“Here, take these I have total confidence that you will defeat Discord.” Celestia stated floating the box over before them and opening it, only for a single piece of paper to float out with the words ' IOU one set of Elements of Harmony.' signed 'Discord'.
“Now who called it ?” Spike smirked as Dash growled putting ten bits in Spike's claw.
The others all stared at the box a moment before Pinkie Pie shrugged.
“Oh well if any one needs me I’m gonna be outside in a chocolate puddle with a giant swizzle straw.” the pink mare grinned starting to trot off before Rahs grabbed her tail and pulled her back to the group.
“This doesn't make any sense, that chamber was protected by layered spells put in place by both Luna and myself, no one should have been able to get in there.”
“Now where's the fun in making sense? Besides, you really didn't think it would be THAT easy did you?” the voice from before echoed in the hall.
“Just for a second maybe... yeah we kinda hoped.” Fluttershy muttered.
“Show yourself cur!” Celestia snapped getting an odd look from Rahs before she muttered. “ Sorry.”
“Did you miss me Celestia? I missed you, it was quite lonely being encased in stone.... but you wouldn't know that would you? Because I don't turn ponies to stone! “ the voice growled before humming thoughtful for a moment. “Or is this the wrong story for that line? Whatever.”
Looking around the group of them tried to figure out where the voice was coming from before Applejack spotted one of the stained glass figures darting around the windows.
“ENOUGH!” Celestia snapped seemingly growing angrier by the moment.” What have you done with the Elements!?”
“Honestly do you think I would tell you? You still haven’t returned my record collection from when we broke up, so I figured something of equal value would at least help me start the collection up again after a trip to the pawn shop.”
“Why would you even want those back, they were all horrid songs by lousy artists!” Celestia countered.
“HEY!! Weird Al is a national treasure, so is Dr. Demento, do you know how hard it is to get a proper LP of those old shows!?” the stained glass figure yelled back.” And they don't even make the executive album from Moosey Python any more!”
“Oh and what about all the Prench hip hop?” Celestia demanded.
“By Mel Brook's Yogurt make up, mare get off my back, I was in an experimental phase!”
“Should we go? Did you two need some alone time?” Rarity chimed up.
“No... he should be over this.” Celestia frowned.
“I'm not, but it's clear you need a break.... given your way of telling me no let me in a horrid game of red light green light, without the green light, for more time than I cared to count......” the stained glass window harrumphed. “ Though I suppose I should focus on what's more important here. You lot.”
The stained glass creature flitted between a few windows, popping into a depiction of the six defeating Nightmare Moon just to steal and apple from the glass AJ's flank and eat it with the sound of crunching. He darted around all the windows, circling the group.
“Is any pony else weirded out by this ? I'm weirded out by this.” Pinkie Pie stated.
There was a small pause in all movement as every one stopped following the moving figure to stare at the party pony in a bit of confusion.
“What?” Pinkie asked.
“Well I can assume I know which one is laughter.” the glass creature chuckled. “ As if I didn't know it was Pinkie Pie before.”
“I'll assume from the power level Purple Flank Mcsparkles is magic, and the fake purple one..... seriously what is with that raincoat girl, tacky,....... is... Rarity..... interesting choice there for generosity. That leaves the orange hick as honesty, the blue idiot as loyalty and the one trying to hide under sun butt as compassion... or is it kindness? Not like it matters as the Element's tend not to show any of that when it comes to anything screwing with their precious balance.”
“How do you know our names!?” Rainbow Dash yelled suddenly getting a zipper put over her mouth as the glass image focuses in on Rahs and Spike.
“Shush now, the adults are talking. Now now what's this... A baby dragon and a …... well now I don't know what you are, how every interesting. Those stupid novellas didn't say much about what you are.” The glass frowned.” I don't like not knowing something.”
Rahs' response was to growl at him. Twilight, Spike, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie winced and the glass figure even seemed taken aback.
“Such language! Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?” There was a flash and a large bar of soap suddenly was shoved in Rahs' mouth, bowling him over to crash to the floor. “No, I suppose you don't.”
“ENOUGH!”Celestia bellowed loud enough to shake the glass making the figure fall down off his perch atop the glass Twilight's head. “ What have you done with the Elements!?”
“Honestly … so boring Celestia. Predictable.... you've really let your sense of humor go...... your flank too, but in a different way.” the figured smirked. “Fine I’ll tell you, but I’ll only tell you my way.”
The image vanished and appeared in another window darting around as the misshapen jumble of glass one again circled the group peering in through the windows.
“To retrieve your missing Elements, just make sense of this change of events. Twists and turns are my master plan. Then find the Elements back where you began.” the voice called before fading away into cackling laughter.
“Crap, I hate riddles.” Dash growled.
“Oh and before I go....” there was a sudden flash as the figure reappeared in the window. “Just so we don't have any unsports pony like conduct from the god tier do gooders in the group.”
The image snapped it's claws and suddenly the castle rumbled.
“WHAT DID YOU DO!” Celestia shouted panicked.
“Oh nothing much... just re did that old fun house trick of mine for the modern age...... on the entire castle!” The image chuckled before popping out of existence again, the colors of the window melting like wax this time and running out to pool on the floor leaving the window clear rather than stained glass.
“Shit.” Celestia swore.”Canterlot better not grow chicken legs and run away.....You all need to get out of the castle as quickly as you can and find the Elements. This room should be safe....... well safer, but try not to dally this will only get worse.”
Celestia flattened her ears to her head as her horn flared, teleporting out of the room just as the first of the screams of the castle staff started.
“Twists and turns ….. “Twilight muttered to herself as she started to pace back and forth. The others looked to each other as Twilight tried to figure it out.
Rahs meanwhile was trying to get the taste of soap out of his mouth with the spare bottle of water he had in his coat. He tried to carry fresh apple juice, but that never lasted long enough to make it into his coat pockets
Twilight paused before the newly cleared window. As she looked out it she noticed something.
“Twists and turns.. I bet he hid the Elements in the royal labyrinth!” Twilight exclaimed.
“Well what are we waiting for?” Applejack nodded, the group about to rush off before a shout caused them all to stop mid gallop and fall over each other.
“WAIT!!!” cried out Spike.
“Wha, what?” Rainbow Dash demanded pushing Pinkie off her head.
“Spike what is it!?” Twilight asked in annoyance as she crawled from under the pile.
“That's not how riddles work. Okay, look, we all agree that thing he said was a riddle but there's 2 types of riddles. Enigmas and conundrums. The first requires a creative solution while the latter is just word play. “ Spike pointed out rubbing the scales of his chin. “Enigmas are posed as problems with metaphors and associative language that require creativity and experience to figure out. For example 'If the sun sets, a flower garden, but if you look after dawn, the garden is empty.”
“What?” Rainbow Dash blinked.
“Didn't you use that one in a Oubliettes and Ogres game?” Twilight accused.” The answer is the sky because the sunset makes a multitude of colors like a garden.”
“Right and conundrums are poised as questions that incorporate puns in the question or answer sometimes both, and this doesn't feel like it's one of those despite that seeming to be his shtick.” Spike added.
“Well then Spikey what do you think it is?” Rarity asked.
“It's a red herring, it's set up to be a logical misdirection. Like the one ' How do you eat pumpkin?”
“Well I have this nice recipe for pumpkin spiced muffins Derpy gave me...” Fluttershy offered.
“One bite at a time!” Pinkie Pie chimed in giggling.
“Right.” Spike pointed out. “The fact the window was made clear just to allow you to see the hedge maze adds into the fact it's a red herring riddle. It's too obvious and I’d be ashamed of any DM who tried to nose ring something so obvious. So we should be okay so long as it isn't a dead end riddle like whats green, wet, on a wall, and whistles.”
Everyone stared blankly at Spike.
“Woof.” Rahs smirked.
“Right it's that stupid riddle. The answer is a herring, because you can nail the herring to the wall, paint it green, and pour water on it.”
“But herring don't whistle.” Fluttershy added.
“Nope, which hardly makes it a riddle, but some one counted it as such a long time ago. Anyway so long as it's not some nonsense like that what we need to do is break down everything he said when he started his game.” Spike frowned. “'To retrieve your missing elements, just make sense of this change of events. Twists and turns are my master plan. Then find the Elements back where you began'.”
“So the twists and turns are a misdirection, but given his plan seems to be sowing chaos and misdirection it still fits, but it's not important.” Twilight added.
“Yeah, the first part is just telling us what we need to do, and the rule of the riddle that we need to make sense of.” Spike explained his eyes narrowing.”The important bit is the last part, finding them back where we began.”
“Woof?” Rahs asked.
“No, he wasn't being specific so it's not just where the three of us began. “ Twilight grumbled.
“He was talking about the Elements so it was prolly the six of us.” Applejack offered.
“But, me and Shy were born in Cloudsdale.” Dash offered.
“But you didn't become Element bearers until you were all in Ponyville. And even if it's not that literal, and a more general word play then where we started was when every one was at our home earlier being told we were summoned to Canterlot.” Spike explained.” In either case the library is where he hid them. Classic tactic there hide them either in plain sight or where you wouldn't look simply due to familiarity.”
“So the Elements of Harmony are back in Golden Oaks?” Pinkie Pie blinked.
“That's my take on it.” Spike offered with a smirk.
“Well if there was ever any doubt they were related.” Rarity sighed.
“Don't be too be too confident in that Rarity, he knows riddles because he's a O&O DM and throws them out all the time, Moon Dancer started calling him Spinx back when we used to play.” Twilight rolled her eyes.” Still good job there Spike.”
“Hopefully we can still find a train.”Rarity added.
“I think I can do better than that. You up for some flying Dash?” Twilight smiled as Rahs groaned knowing where she was going with this.
I second that claim! I got them myself too!
I love the fic where Spike take more of a leading role instead of obscure in the background, and this Spike is really smart when it counts.
Huh. Didn't expect Spike to get it. You go little buddy!
Guess I'm making a book maze.
Turning a maze into a bigger maze isn't really that chaotic, now that I think about it.
Discord
Actually having Spike be smart and meaningfully change the direction of the plot?
Excellent. Now let's see Discord throw a monkey wrench in that by corrupting the Elements anyways! :P
Also, Twilight being jealous of a Battle Axe earning a doctorate is the best thing ever…
…
…Discord is gonna bring the good doctor to life isn't he?
Easiest ten bits ever
Easiest. Ten. Bits. Ever
I am Rarity in this scene
... He's not wrong
Right
Ugh, always hated that hedgemaze part. Especially when the others were so easily manipulated by Discord's honey'd words. Now to see how far the idiot ball can travel still.
Celly with the racial slurs!
For shame!
And here Celly wasn't wanting Spike Spike and Rahs to come along.
I hope she finds out that Spike saved them a lot of time and headache later.
This reminds me of a fic where Twilight takes Spike to see how male versions would handle a situation in a rule 63 world to try and prove a point only for the male counterparts to immediately stop Trixie by realizing he's using a magic amplifier due to their O&O/DnD experience. I'm pretty sure Spike laughs at her because of it too.
Too bad Spike wasn’t this active in the show, as he’s relegated to comic relief in canon.
and the DM nerd for the win
Love the MST3K reference
Pretty insightful there, but there's one thing they aren't taking into account: Celestia. It could very well mean where Celestia first began her relationship with Discord, thus hammering in the idea of "You just want to seal me away to get rid someone you dumped" to guilt her fir how she treated him.
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Oh I wanna read that one.
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I know, it’s annoying and a shame.
........... *Bangs head on wall* I will never hear the end of this from a DM friend of mine. But woohoo Spike!
Yay my rambling contributed!
The whole riddle thing was the worst part of the season opener way back when. Spike is pretty much acting exactly how Twilight should have if the writers were creative enough to have a story and not beat Twilight over the head with the idiot stick till it shattered. Glad that someone is acting smart here and you even have a good example of giving Twilight a reason to rush.
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Indeed, anybody who crosses her will be another one to bite the dust.
good chapter
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Never was a fan of some riddles. Because the answer is basically something it’s so out of range of logic it’s just stupid. Or maybe I’m not smart enough I don’t know. I like that one little dent valves the answer being a river, basically entitling you to know every single aspect of the English language just to solve it
Nice. Wonder how you will play out "lesson zero".
I don't know Twi, he looked like the intelligent sort
Am I the only one who thinks Twilight is jealous of Luna's battleaxe for having a Medical Degree?
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Except Spike's still getting the most important bit wrong, because he's not paying any attention to the jerk who is telling the riddle. If you go to the library, the Elements were in the hedge maze. If you go to the hedge maze, they were in the library. If you somehow do both at once, then they were in Cloudsdale where the first sonic rainboom happened. The "right" answer is whichever one you didn't pick, because the one telling the riddle is Discord, and of course he cheats.
The correct conclusion is that you either find some kind of leverage to make a spirit of chaos follow rules, or you play along, knowing it's pointless, and hope like hell you can find a chance to turn the tables.
Discord: they'll never figure out this riddle more ha ha ha ha
Spike: is a DM of O and O
Discord: @&*+.$"#
Our Pathfinder group had to come up with a riddle to confuse a gynosphinx. We had to present it with 4 multiple choice answers and we only had 10 minutes to pull it off. What we came up with was this:
Through me nations rise,
And still more nations fall,
Idols are constructed,
And through me, torn down all,
With enough of me,
I can make you kings,
While others shall suffer,
The devastation that it brings.
A. Ambition
B. Time
C. Labor
D. Faith
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Hmmm
Time is out simply due to the second to last line. Time effects everyone not just others. Labor is much the same and labor doesn't make kings.
Ambition can lead to ruin but generaly doesn't so i would say the answer is faith.
I hope Discord predicted this and really put them in the maze.
Best Spike i ever read about!
Its amazing how mutch Rahs did for Spikes development!
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Holy shit that good... I could imagen a mindblowing good Sphinx story could/would come from you mayhaps?
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That a twist he didnt see coming
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Or having doubts how a weapon can be better at a occupation than herself.
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This kinda reminds me if Soul Eater were weapons are individuals when outside a battle...
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True ,but 20 minutes are a short time for most episodes to tell a story and most movies would be over if logic is applied correctly ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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All hail Spike the Brave and Glorious
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I have created a riddle myself but I think it is missing something. Want to help with it?
Skeletons in my closet,
Monsters under my bed,
Ghosts in my past,
Demons in my head.
What am I?
What are your thoughts on it?
Still best Spike i ever read about that isn't a Displaced or Human
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This time earned!
We need more stories with Spike being well developed.
Great chapter ♡