The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 4000
Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR
The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 4000
[Sweet Apple Acres., Fall, one week after Nightmare Night.]
“Kinda weird this year.....” Applejack stated off hoof as she gave out another mug of cider.
“Yah mean with that Sparkles fighting over Rahs trying to spend their whole budget on Cider?” Granny Smith asked.
“Nah ah expected that.” Applejack nodded.
“Maybe tha Princesses dressed up in disguises that wouldn't fool a three year old buying cider?” Granny asked.
“Nah they always do that too.” Applejack sighed handing out another mug as Granny rang it up.
“Well then what is it child? Ah ain't gonna keep guessing.” Granny snorted.
“Pinkie and Rainbow Dash ain't here.” Applejack sighed.
“Wasn't that Rainbow Dash ten minutes ago?” Granny Smith asked.
“Nah Rainbow Dash ain't got a beard.” Applejack pointed out.” And Pinkie Pie's still Black Listin herself.”
“Wasn't that Pinkie Pie earlier?” Granny Smith asked.
“Yeah , swhy I sold her water and she left.” Applejack smirked as Grannysmith gave her grand daughter a look wondering if she was fibbing about not seeing Rainbow Dash, it might be the reason she was talking so loud , as ' blue beard the rainbowed' was still nearby.” Kinda hard to apologize fer something when yah can't even find tha one yer supposed to be apologizing to.”
“Ciders dry.....” Big Mac called out.
There was a chorus of groans from the ones still in line and a scream of horror from Rahs who sent both Twilight and Spike flying off him as he let out a dramatic cry of defeat throwing both paws in the air before falling to his knees and pounding the ground in a showy display of anguish.
He was largely ignored save for a small smattering of applause from the crowd.
Applejack hopped up on the stall calling back to the others.” Sorry folks we've run out fer tha day.”
“You always run out!” a voice shouted.
“Sorry , but we done our best to increase production this year.” Applejack replied.
“You say that every year!”
“And every year we git a little more made, yah can't rush perfection.” Applejack countered.
“This is very yummy this year.” Fluttershy muttered from her mug.
“Don't worry folks we'll have more ready fer sale tomorrow.” Applejack placated to more groaning.
A sputtering chiming noise drew everyone's attention as a thing came down the road from out of town. The odd devise seemed to be a steam powered wagon with what might have been a still built onto it
a train's plow was mounted on the front and the garish monstrosity chugged up looking rather fancy in the reds and silvers. The front plow looked to have a podium of sorts on it as if the wide steel cow catcher was designed as a stage.
He massive device chugged to a halt pulling in front of the Cider stand and knocking over one of the fence posts as it came to a halt.
A pair of tall cream colored stallions hopped out of the device. Both of them wore matching white and blue stripped shirts with fair barkers caps and matching red manes and tails. One of them had a red mustache, and seemed to be the only way to tell the pair of unicorns apart. The pair's cutie marks were also ambiguous with a apple with a quarter of it taken out and the other seeming to be said quarter of an apple.
“Do you hear music?” Spike questioned to no one in particular.
“Well, lookie what we got here, brother of mine, it's the same in every town
Ponies with thirsty throats, dry tongues, and not a drop of cider to be found
Maybe they're not aware that there's really no need for this teary despair
That the key that they need to solve this sad cider shortage you and I will share”
Rahs' ears perked up as he caught the hint of magic in the air coming from the machine, he glanced over to Twilight who was staring at the device as well with a good bit of scrutiny as the pair sang on.
“Woof?”
“Yeah I think so....” Twilight muttered.
“Well you've got opportunity
In this very community
He's Flim
He's Flam
We're the world famous Flim Flam brothers
Traveling sales ponies nonpareil”
“Nonpareil?” Spike asked.
“ Having no match or equal; unrivaled.” Twilight explained as she noticed some of the other ponies starting to move as if dancing to the music.
“Nonpareil, and that's exactly the reason why, you see
No pony else in this whole place will give you such a chance to be
where you need to be
And that's a new world, with tons of cider
Fresh squeezed and ready for drinking
More cider than you could drink in all your days of thinking”
Blue beard the rainbowed scoffed.”I doubt that...”
Rahs rolled his eyes at that.
“So take this opportunity
In this very community
He's Flim
He's Flam
We're the world famous Flim Flam brothers
Traveling sales ponies
Nonpareil”
Rahs blinked as other ponies started singing the chorus. A number of mares were also fawning over the slick looking stallions of course.
“Yep. It's a heart song. Rahs, go get Comet Trail. If they use this as anything more than advertising they can be arrested.”
“Heart song?” Spike questioned.
“Yeah you know what Princess Celestia uses for the gala? It's a pretty potent spell than any pony can cast under the proper circumstances. I mean you've had to notice the random songs that sometimes break out every where.”
“I figured it was just Ponyville weirdness. I don't recall this ever happening in Canterlot beyond the Gala event.” Spike frowned. “ So two questions then? Why aren't all of us affected and why are you worried about it if it happens all the time?”
“Well Rahs isn't affected for obvious reasons, you're a dragon so I expect it doesn't hit you as hard but I did see your tail swinging to the beat there.”
“It's catchy.” Spike shrugged.
“The Apples are the target of the spell so they arn't swept up in it as this mess seems directed at them. As for why I'm not effected is I've got a few basic defense spells already cast on me.” Twilight explained.
“Why?” Spike asked.
“It's Tuesday.”
“Understood.” Spike nodded.
“I suppose by now you're wondering 'bout our peculiar mode of transport
I say, our mode of locomotion
And I suppose by now you're wondering, where is this promised cider?
Any horse can make a claim and any pony can do the same
But my brother and I have something most unique and superb
Unseen at any time in this big new world
And that's opportunity
Folks, it's the one and only, the biggest and the best
The unbelievable
Unimpeachable
Indispensable
I-can't-believe-able
Flim Flam brothers' Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000”
“Nah it's not illegal under section 3 dash GGG. “ Comet Trail offered looking out from under his guard helmet to Twilight. Rahs had found him rather easily as he and the rest of the Guards in town had been patrolling the line and were on high alert given that there was a large gathering and it was Tuesday, everyone was armed tot he teeth and in full gear, including charm resist wards. “Though if they try to do more than just sell something with a heart song it falls under a different category and we can act. I'm hoping this is nothing, because I really don't want to deal with a riot today.“
Comet Trail frowns as a mare one of the brothers was flirting with fainted.
“Or need to deal with a bunch of foal support forms when a mysterious bumper crop of foals pop up.” the Nox -Cal grumbled.
“Oh, we got opportunity
In this very community
Please, Flim, please, Flam, help us out of this jam
With your Flim Flam brothers' Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000”
The unmustchioed brother pops up by the Apple family who was staring in annoyance at the great machine.
“Young filly, I would be ever so honored if you might see fit to let my brother and I
borrow some of your delicious, and might I add spellbindingly fragrant apples for our little demonstration here?” Flim asked with a smile that would be more at home on a shark.
“Ah suppose, thou ah need to know how many so ah ken....... and he ran off...” Applejack sighed.
“Opportunity, in our community
Ready, Flim?
Ready, Flam?
Let's bing bang zam!
And show these thirsty ponies a world of delectable cider!”
Rahs perked up as the pair shot beams of green magic at the machine the device starting to chug and whirl. He spared a glance back at his sister who was still staring at the machine as well as if trying to understand it from just watching. He glanced back at Applejack who was furiously writing something down on a piece of paper glancing up at a tree that had been cleaned out of apples by the device.
“Cider, cider, cider, cider...”the crowd chanted.
Watch closely, my friends!
The fun begins!
Now, here's where the magic happens.
Right here in this heaving, roiling, cider-press-boiling guts of the very machine,
those apples plucked fresh are right now as we speak being turned into grade-A,
top-notch, five-star, blow-your-horseshoes-off, one-of-a-kind cider!
Feel free to take a sneak peek!
Now wait, you fellers, hold it!
You went and over-sold it!
I guarantee that what you have there won't compare
For the very most important ingredient
Can't be added or done expedient
And it's quality, friends, Apple Acres' quality and care!”Granny Smith stormed up to them glaring angrily at the pair .
“Why is she singing along while trying to argue with them?” Spike asked.
“She's trying to turn their Heart Song into her own Heart Song by using the same beat and meter to turn the focus around.” Twilight blinked rather impressed. “ I am now even more afraid of her than I was when I started dating Big Mac.”
“Well, Granny, I'm glad you brought that up, my dear,
I say I'm glad you brought that up
You see that we are very picky
when it comes to cider if you'll kindly try a cup
Yes, sir, yes, ma'am, this great machine lets just the very best
So whaddaya say then, Apples?
Care to step into the modern world
And put the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 to the test?”
Granny Smith took the cup from Flim and frowned sniffing it before dumping it out on the ground with a huff and storming back towards the stall.
“Guess they had a counter ready in case some one did that.” Twilight tapped her chin. “ They are quiet thorough.”
“Cider, cider, cider, cider...” the crowd continued to chant.
“What do you think, folks? Do you see what the Apples can't?
I see it clear as day! I know she does! So does he!
C'mon, Ponyville, you know what I'm talking about!
We're saying you've got
Opportunity
In this very community
He's Flim, he's Flam
We're the world famous Flim Flam brothers
Traveling sales ponies nonpareil!
Yeah!”
“I do not see this ending well.” Comet Trail sighed noting the looks most of the Apple family was giving the two sales ponies.
“I'll go warn the Princesses.” Twilight sighed.
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Equestria's law is so detailed.
If they couldn't fool anypony with their disguises, why bother?
So the Flim Flam brothers have finally showed up. This is going to be delightful.
Do you think Rahs will end up hating the taste of the FF Bros.' cider because it lacks a certain magic to it or something? Cause that would be amusing... and an interesting way of showing that their cider isn't up to par compared to the Apples' cider.
9403060
Of course even said episode their contest did show that the Apple family could make barrels of cider quickly. And, maintain quality at the same time so I don’t see why am machine would be such a big issue it’s the same product
9403168
If it does, it'd probably be the same reason as most other stuff involving earth ponies. They put their magic into their product. A machine operated by unicorns just might not have the same magical effect on the cider as the stuff made by Applejack's family, and because of Rahs' biology, he would be the one to notice that difference.
9403174
I meant when the apples were actually sorting the apples and crushing them really fast like during said contest. Either way too slow for the demand, I have something wrong with their process. Then again the entire episode in Canaan makes me grown and how much the apples don’t know without economics
9403150
9403183
I can see that. And I also agree with your opinion to never read any of the Fallout stories. Except for the original Fallout Equestria by Kat. That one is worth reading, or at least checking it out.
I'm hoping they get arrested for not paying for the apples they take off the Apple family's trees. Because stealing is wrong. And a crime. And was never addressed in the show. Seriously, the machine destroyed entire trees, how did they not get arrested or at least fined for property damage?
Here's a solution: do both. Have the cider machine make cheaper cider faster, while those who are willing to shell out a few extra bits can wait on the hoofcrafted stuff. The important thing to remember is that in this episode, The Flim Flam Brothers product did actually work as advertised. They were kind of sleazy about it, but they were not the con-artists they later showed themselves to be.
You're kind of reaching for that pun.
Besides, didn't the cat domesticated us and not the other way around.
9403008
You make it sound that Twilight is anypony,
Many times, being familiar with the trickster makes you more vulnerable to their tricks.
9403249
Which is why she hasn't completly cut off ties from celestia.
To the
There is a space infront of first "b". Also you for forgot to capitalize Rainbo, I mean Blue Beard the Rainbowed's name. It should read as "Blue Beard the Rainbowed.
That said, good job as always.
I'm guessing she's keeping track of how much money Flim and Flam owe them for the apples.....
Can't wait to see just how much they owe the Apples by the end of the challenge
Minor edits ...
at the machine the device starting to chug and whirl
-- Coma after machine
They are quiet thorough
-- they seem kinda noisy to me
Now that's just stretching it.
Also, is the reason Rarity is so much less melodramatic in this because she knows she'll just be upstaged by Rahs?
I see AJ itemizing the invoice there.
Back when this episode first aired I figured when we ever see the brothers again it would be with more inventions. So I was rather disappointed when they got turned into bad charlatans. The SSCS6000 actually worked as advertised AND very effectively, right up until they turned off the safety control.
Makes sense
You understand how things work around here then... though i am very curious to see how this will be handled as none of the Apples are as naive as they were in the show
That's kind of too elaborate for a pun in my opinion, but that's just me
9403248
9404024
9403382
Yeah not all of them were good. I had ten other puns in mind that i tried to see if they could beat the one i used. Sadly, no pun in ten did.
9403008
Simple If you see a Princess with full Guard you know it's a big thing. If you see a Princess wearing a big bushy mustache with no Guards, particularly in Ponyville, you get worried and learn to ignore it and hope it goes away.
9403248 Also yes they did but still around 4k years ago.
9403382 Rarity is 'Sir not appearing in this chapter.' But she's not worried about being shown up, she's actively trying to out drama him more on that later.
9403595 I am trying to make it less child friendly.
9404241
Oh I'm sure that was a pun intendid there.
I can't help but wonder if you made that comment just to make a good pun.
9404257 nooooooo......
images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/intermediary/f/3156fbb3-5a79-4b08-a813-57115eb51fc9/d4a6cfb-c27e49f1-79ee-450e-94a2-0e90805e2d5c.png/v1/fill/w_900,h_764,strp/applejack_is_honest_by_orangel8989_d4a6cfb-fullview.png
9404241
It's sad that it took me so long to see that pun.
I call rahas sniffing out some form of illigal magic and telling twilight who tells granny Smith who then messes them up big time with he rather scary way of thinking
part of of me want the brother to knew the sparkle and are scared of them, I can see them try to con the sparkle into give up rah or something odd like that, only to be turn on them.
9404262
yea...right...
Ah, so THATS the cat pun this chapter. A year related to cats. Clever.*golf clapping*
someone not "some one".
Also quite not "quiet"
Most interessting episode start 👏
Heart songs... I find it great, that there are laws if ones tried to take advantage of others with em
Those are called Boater hats, and were once quite popular as summer wear for men
Since i know what is coming i am even more giddy than reading it the first time
9560939
Dawww... Your small Pony picture is so cuuute!
Most adorable death threat ever ~♡
National Geographic theorizes that the first cats became domesticated around 4000 years ago.
That's funny. He thinks cats are domesticated.
Quality versus Quantity. More often i chose the cheaper food and drinks, yet the taste and shelf live often is in strong contrast to one another.
The Flim Flam machine has a lot of merit, a partnership would be beneficial. But never forsake quality over quantity in general.